Date Yourself Instead - How to set STRONG boundaries - don’t lift a finger for ANYONE who hasn't earned a place in your life

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

IN THIS VIDEO episode, I dive into all the tea about what really happened this summer in London with my last relationship...and why I've learned how important it is to take your time if you're looking to build a really strong foundation for a future with a partner. When newly dating someone it's very important to set boundaries and to remain in your feminine energy. This is ultimately my opinion, experience and perspective on how to approach future relationships. Ready for your Mind Body Soul Reset? JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR THE MASTERCLASS HERE

Before I dive into today's episode, I want to mention my new masterclass the mind body soul reset is coming out this October and I cannot wait I am so excited. I know so many of you are waiting for it already The waitlist is going to be available soon on my website You could find the link in my show notes the mind body soul reset program is a master class That is all about my health and wellness routine and everything I've done to transform my life and my body from the inside out, spiritually, mentally, financially, as well as physically. I know a lot of people have asked me for my workout routine and tips and tricks

on how to feel good in your body while you're working towards creating a new life for yourself, while you're working towards your dream goals and getting out of a toxic relationship. I feel like for me, being in the gym and working out and having a really solid routine and knowing what to eat and knowing how to take care of my physical health has transformed my mental health

and has transformed my spirituality as well and has made me stronger and more confident overall. And I think fitness and wellness is so important when you're tying it into your spirituality. You have to feel physically good in order to attract miracles in order to attract that abundance into your life in order to attract your manifestations. A huge part of that is feeling really grounded and healthy and physically well

in your body. And that's why I created this masterclass to show you everything that I do on a daily basis to feel incredible to have a major physical glow up and to also have a spiritual glow up, a financial glow up and whatever you really want to attract into your life will come your way. Once you start taking care of your health and your wellness. I also really love this masterclass because I used to do these treadmill workouts back in the day. I used to offer these programs on Instagram. My Instagram was FitList.

For those of you who have followed me for 10 plus years, you've seen these guides. I've had people still message me about them and they're like, they were such a game changer. I saw results immediately. And that will also be a part of the Mind, Body, Soul Reset. So I'm super excited about that as well. It will also cover a lot of the meditations I do in detail,

as well as more workshops, videos guided by me. And it's just an amazing way to reset your entire system and your life and to basically realign your entire energy field to attract a brand new reality for yourself. I am so big on creating the life of your dreams and the life that you want through physical movement through exercise through meditations through quantum leaping through journaling and there's so much in this masterclass that wasn't covered in the dare to detach dare to detach is more focused on breakup specifically, but the mind body soul reset really caters to everything overall in order to create the life you want of your dreams. And it also does help you detach and move on from a breakup. In fact, I think it helps even more because when you feel really confident in your skin and your body and you have a physical glow up, everything else around you changes energetically, people will literally

approach you and be like, you look so different, you look incredible, what's the secret? And in this masterclass, I cover everything you need to know about having that glow up and making major changes in your life. And I am so excited to share it. It is coming out in October. Join the waitlist by signing up at the link in the show notes on the podcast or on Instagram at date yourself instead. Send me a DM if you're interested in joining.

I cannot wait to release it. Now let's dive into today's episode, which is all about remembering to stand in your power no matter what, to not take shit from anyone, and to remind you of your worth, and to remind you that you deserve someone that is going to cater to you. You should never be bending over backwards for anyone. Hi everyone, welcome to another episode of Date

Yourself Instead. Today is gonna be a very interesting, juicy, I spill all the tea of what happened. I can't even speak straight because I'm still I think coming down from the aftermath and the shock of what happened to me in London. I was going back and forth from London over the last few months, partly for work, partly for friends. I love it there. If you've listened to my podcast, you already know London for me is like a second home. It's a second base.

I have so many of you guys that live there that I love to just be, I love to be in London because there's so many of you that live there. And it's just so incredible and I love it there. However, at the same time, I feel like it's similar to New York in the sense of like, it's one of those cities that I have a love-hate relationship with because half of the time I'm thriving, I love it.

And I'm like, I could see myself living here forever. This is the best place in the world. And then something happens where I'm thriving. I love it. And I'm like, I could see myself living here forever. This is the best place in the world. And then something happens where I'm like, I need to get the fuck out of here. I'm traumatized and usually it's because of some sort of relationship or situationship. And I think I'm truly coming to a closing chapter with the Englishmen. I hate to say it, but every time I get involved with a British guy, it just bursts into flames and somehow I end up being brokenhearted. And being back in New York and grounded and back in my homeland back in America. I'm thinking of Taylor Swift like Maddie Healy scenario where she breaks free of the British and she meets her like American sweetheart soulmate love of her life, Travis. I'm just like thinking

maybe my husband lives in America at this point or somewhere else because I got burned once again by someone who I thought was like this amazing guy and I try to be respectful on the podcast. I try to keep everything anonymous, which I will. But I guess I maybe got too ahead of myself. This person got too ahead of himself, and I ended up in a situation where I actually flew to London to go see him. When I got there, he was like, just kidding. I don't feel the same about you. And everything I said pretty much is just like, not what it was.

So I was pretty blindsided. I feel like the rug had been pulled out from under me. And when I got there, it definitely felt different. Like it felt like the dynamic had shifted a lot. And I felt really weird. Like there was just like this weird gut feeling where I felt really on edge, like something was off. And then I vocalized it and he was like, no, no, no,

everything's fine. I'm like, no, no, no. Like I am extremely intuitive. I feel when the energy is off, something has shifted. And then there were a few things that kind of happened that made me question shit while I was there. I started having a physical reaction. Like my body was on fire.

I was like super overheated and getting these hot flashes. And I was having some sorry if this is TMI, but like some gynecological problems where if you've listened to the podcast before, if you've seen my tic tocs before, you know that I've talked about this, when something's off in a relationship with a man, your body can physically or chemically react to that. So there was an instance of that where I just felt really sick. And I was like, this is like something is obviously wrong. And once I addressed it a couple of times, because I couldn't shake it out of my head. He was

like, Yeah, I just feel like it's too much the long distance like everything is just overwhelming me and my feelings have changed. And in my head, I'm like, well, I'm here. And obviously, I do have friends here. I was like, all right, well, I'm still gonna enjoy my time here. But at the same time, like, I wish you would have maybe had expressed this to me like before I got here because luckily I hadn't booked any place to stay long term. I had only booked the first week. So I ended up staying the first week in London and then I bounced because I was like, I'm

not staying here if this whatever this is coming to an end. You were obsessed with me. Like you were obsessed with me and you just like flipped a fucking switch. He, yeah, he just made me feel like basically this was it and had said all these things and kind of like word vomited on me about how obsessed he was with me for two months straight and then pulled the rug. So I guess you can define that as love bombing,

but at the same time, I hate using that term because it sounds so extreme. And in my head, I'm like, mature enough to just handle shit like this. And I've been through enough in my life and I've been through way worse in my life to the point where I'm like, okay, well, obviously, maybe in the heat of the moment, he was just super infatuated and said things that he thought he felt, but he got way too ahead of himself. And he kind of expressed that to me, which obviously is not ideal because the last thing I wanted was for something to explode in my face and I got super emotional. I was crying. I was like, why is this happening to me? Once again, I feel like I get vulnerable with someone. I open my heart out to someone. I open my heart up to someone. I feel like I start

to get close with someone and then they pull back and they're like, yeah, actually it's not gonna work. And I think this is a very common experience that a lot of people have. So on today's episode, I wanna discuss why the second you start abandoning yourself and letting your guard down too soon is when the dynamic will start to shift

because you really don't know someone until you know them. You have to take your time when it comes to getting into a serious relationship. If you're looking to spend the rest of your life with someone, if you're looking to actually be in a serious partnership with someone, you need to take your fucking sweet time because if it's the right person, no matter what, they're not going to go anywhere. And that person might pressure you to go fast. That person might try to get super involved with you and pursue you heavily. Like this guy was like chasing me down. He was pursuing me and he was all in saying like, I'm not seeing anyone else. I'm not speaking to anyone else. Like I'm all in with you. But looking back, I realized that that wasn't the ideal

situation that I should have been in in the first place because given everything that I've been through, I know that I need to take my time with someone. I need to get to know them. I need to know every single quality that they possess. I need to know what it's like to live with them. I need to know what it's like to be in hard situations with them.

And I thought it was going in that direction. I feel like I had spent a decent amount of time with this person, talking to them and getting to know them, but it was really only two months. Right. So at the two month mark, that's when shit hit the fan. It was also mercury retrograde. It was also a lot of just chaotic energy in the air. I don't know what was going on over the last couple weeks but a lot of my friends were also going through it and dealing with their

own relationship stuff and my dad actually was telling me like I fucking told you so because you need to take your time with whoever you're with whether it's with this guy or it's someone else you need to take your time with whoever you're with. Whether it's with this guy or it's someone else, you need to take it at a snail's pace because men get very easily infatuated, especially given your career, what you do, what you have to offer. You know, you're an amazing person and some guys will just see that latch onto it temporarily. Think that they found the love of their life, think that they've convinced themselves like, oh, this is my wife, this is the woman of my dreams.

And then once shit gets real and they have a little reality check, they backpedal because they're like, wait, I can't keep up, or I can't give you exactly what you need. And you need a man that's so confident in himself that he's gonna be able to handle someone like you but in the meantime take your fucking time. There's no rush when it comes to

meeting your soulmate because once again as I said if it is your soulmate and if it is the right person you don't need to floor it and put your foot on the gas because they're just going to be there they're going to stick around they're just going to be there. They're going to stick around. They're going to wait for you if you need time. I think the rule for myself now moving forward is don't post anything about anyone unless you know for a factor in a serious relationship. Don't share my, I'm not sharing my private life anymore as far as my dating life, unless

it is super serious. And I hate that because I want to share everything with you guys. But I think for me just as protection and to keep myself in check, I need to be 1000% sure about the next person I'm with because that's the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm 31. I feel like I've been through enough situationships. I've been through enough casual life lessons. And for a second, for a hot second, when this was happening again, and I felt like everything was crumbling and crashing down,

I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, are you fucking kidding me right now? Because it's like, I've already been through so much and I'm like laughing about it, because maybe like laughing is my way of dealing with trauma sometimes. Maybe it's like a Capricorn thing but I'm literally like I've been through so fucking much. I was just through a four-year relationship with the biggest narcissist in the world that literally was like

basically cheating on me, lied to me about having this whole separate life that he was living and I haven't even really covered that on the podcast yet. Just you wait. But like I've already been through so much trauma. So to just follow it up with more trauma, I'm like, okay, great. Amazing. The thing is with this person in particular, I know that he meant well. Like, I don't think he's a bad guy. I just think that he was young and just got ahead of himself. As I said, like he was so excited. And I think he genuinely thought that he had feelings for me, or maybe he did think he saw a future with me in the moment in the heat of things. But once we started talking about a long distance relationship, he completely panicked. And it's like, I get it because it is a lot to make something work

when you're not living in the same country. It's also a lot when you have two totally separate careers and lifestyles and goals for yourself. And I empathize with that because I also feel like it would have been a lot of effort for me to put into the situation that I was in. But at the same time, it's like, if you really want to make something work, you're going to fucking make it work. My brother did long distance with his wife before he married her.

I know so many people who make long distance work, even way further of a distance than London to New York. So I think if you really want to make something work, you will, if you love someone enough or you care about them enough, you're gonna make anything happen. And in this situation, I guess he didn't really feel like he was on that page. So that's the tea.

That's really what happened. And I know that you guys were excited about it for me. And you're messaging me and you're like, Oh, my god, I'm so happy that you met someone amazing. And I'm like, Yeah, well, back to square one, everyone. I am once again, single and I've learned from these type of experiences. The more I go through, the more I grow, the more I learn about myself, the more mature I become. I feel like when me and him had a conversation

about like really just cutting ties and kind of like moving forward, he did say like, I do think there's someone better out there for you. And I was like, all right, well, then obviously there is, because you aren't choosing me. So like, if you're not choosing me, there's obviously gonna be someone that will,

and hopefully I feel the same about them and I choose them back. And it was a very mature way to end things. Like, I knew that I wanted to end it on a really positive note because I never want bad blood with anyone. I never want to resent anyone, hold an anger. I used to be very petty and bitter back in the day when I was younger in my early 20s,

but I've learned so much throughout just healing and evolving as a woman. And I'm like, I never want to end things on bad terms but at the same time I didn't deserve that like I didn't deserve to be treated that way and on the podcast I always want to speak my truth tell people what happened obviously there's way more to the story but at the same time it's like that's the basic overview And if I could provide any sort of learning lessons through that experience to you guys is to take your time. Take your sweet time.

If you are looking for something serious, if you're looking for someone that you could really trust and rely on and know that they're gonna be there for the long haul, take your time because someone can promise you all these things. Someone can tell you they're gonna show up for you and protect you and be gonna show up for you

and protect you and be this amazing person for you. But unless you really, really know them super well and you've seen them in all scenarios and they're actually saying 1000%, I'm all in, I do whatever it takes to be with you, take your time and be patient with it and not rush into it. Because things like this can happen anything can change at any time

You never really know what's gonna happen in the future, but I will say that It's so important to not take people's words and take their actions. Anyone can say anything really so you just got to be careful. And it's not to say keep your guard completely up. But my dad gives really good advice. I kind of want to have him on the podcast because every time I go through something, he's like on the phone with me being like, all right, this is what you need to do.

This is how you handle it. He's really good with dating advice and helping me through all these situations. He told me four years ago when I was still with my ex-boyfriend, get away from him. He was like, please stop dating this person. He's not right for you. He's a con artist.

He's literally lying to you about so many things. And I was always so defensive of my relationship. I never listened to my dad. And then at the end of that relationship, when I found out all of this information and I found out all of it was true, I was like, oh my God, my dad was right. And now I know just like rule of thumb

to always listen to him. And he was telling me on the phone last night that I need someone that is secure enough to handle everything that I've built for myself because a lot of people won't be comfortable with it, but the right person will stick by my side and want to grow. He's like, you can't change anyone. You can't change or force someone to grow. You can't change someone to break.

You can't force someone to break out of their comfort zone. You can't force someone to be the person that you want them to be. All you could do is be yourself and the right person will cater to that. And if they want to grow with you, that's a totally different story. If the next guy you're with lives in a different country and he wants to move and like make it work with you, let them come to you.

The person you're with should be catering to you. You should not be lifting a fucking finger in the beginning of dating, especially, you should not be bending over backwards to please that person. You should not be going out of your way to make shit work with that person. They should be coming to you.

Now, if you're a woman, you get this, okay? You wanna be in your feminine energy. You don't wanna be in your masculine energy making the plans, paying for the dates, making sure that you see that person, making the grand gestures and efforts to be with that person. Especially in the first few months of dating, they should be pursuing you, courting you, making sure that you feel safe, that you feel protected, that you feel comfortable, and they should be proving themselves to you. They should be earning the right

to have a place in your life. Now, I made the mistake here in this last situation that I was recently in with someone that lived in a different country of flying back there with the intention of maybe seeing that person again. I was planning dinners and planning dates in New York when he was here, I was doing the work in a sense

to make things happen between us. And it's not to say he wasn't putting in any effort but it was like, it was almost like I felt I was doing more for sure. Just by nature, I am a little bit of a control freak and I like to take charge and I like to plan things in certain situations. And in this particular situation, I started doing more and I didn't even

realize what I was doing consciously. I kind of was just like, oh, it's fine. It's fun. It's not a big deal. But I think on a subconscious level, it shifted the entire dynamic of the relationship. And I was talking to my dad about this and he's like, you should not lift a fucking finger for a man unless he is so serious about you and you are engaged and you're basically living together.

There was no reason why you should be doing anything for anyone unless they have earned a place in your life. If they've earned the right to be a part of your life, you are so special, you are so unique, you offer so much, you bring a lot to the table and that's all you need to be. You just need to be yourself. You don't need to wine and dine anyone.

You don't need to prove anything to anyone. And when you start doing that, when you start leaving your territory and leaving your power and abandoning yourself and abandoning your self love to cater to a man, what happens is the dynamic will shift because they start to lose respect for you. And it's a subconscious thing. It's not like they're literally like, oh, I've lost respect for this person.

It's more just this like gradual decrease of interest because you are doing doing the most for them. And they could just sit back and be like, Oh, I've got her, I've got her locked in. Now she's able to provide for me. Now she's doing these things for me. She likes me enough. She's invested enough where I can just get comfortable eventually pull back. And they start to lose that excited feeling of pursuing men want to pursue they want to pursue they want to be in their masculine, they start to lose that excited feeling of pursuing. Men want to pursue, they wanna pursue, they wanna be in their masculine, they wanna feel like this strong protector energy

where they can go after a woman and make her feel amazing and make her feel special. But if you start making him feel special too early on, and it sounds like a game, it's so fucking ridiculous, but I've experienced this on countless occasions where you start to get comfortable. You start to do more for the guy. You start to leave your own needs in order to cater to them. You start to think about their feelings more. You start to empathize with them so much. You start to want to plan things and make the effort to see them. And all of a sudden, they go from being obsessed with you

and go from being, oh my God, I wanna be with this woman for the rest of my life to, I don't know, I'm not sure, I'm not sure. I'm not sure, the famous words, I don't know, I'm confused, I'm not sure, I don't have full clarity on the situation anymore. And you're like, two weeks ago, you were calling me your wife. So what the fuck changed?

Like what happened? You could call it love bombing. You could call it, oh, they spoke too soon. They're an asshole. They're a piece of shit, whatever you want to say. But in reality, what really changed, and I realize this for myself, when I take accountability,

what really changes, I left my power. I stood outside of my power. I was standing on a stage feeling confident, feeling sure of myself. I didn't want a relationship. And then when this guy came into my life and kept pursuing and pursuing and pursuing, I started to slowly let my guard down too soon.

Now, obviously you're gonna have to let my guard down too soon. Now, obviously, you're going to have to let your guard down if you want to be with someone and the right person is going to make you feel safe enough to do so. But the point is, once again, tying it back to taking your time and taking things slow. And I was speaking to my dad about this. He was like, yes, you do have to let your guard down with the right person, but in the beginning stages You should not be lifting a finger stop trying to put so much effort into Making this guy want to see you making this guy want to be with you making plans doing things for someone else Be the boss ass bitch that you are

Step into your power. Remain in your power. Don't leave that powerful state for anyone because the right man will be able to handle you in that state and you'll never have to leave it. You're not going to have to leave that state of power because the most powerful man is going to work beside you and cater to you and be like, listen, I'm with you. Whatever you want goes and looking into the future, the listen, I'm with you, whatever you want goes. And looking into the future,

the next person I'm with, I know will be someone that is probably going to end up being my husband because I know now the last and final lesson I needed to learn is never abandon yourself for the sake of trying to make something work. Even if it feels amazing, even if it feels in the moment exciting and not a big deal. And you're like, oh no, it's just a dinner. It's just like, basically I had like the opportunity to have some free dinners during restaurant week in New York. I took this guy to a free dinner. Even though in my head, it's like,

I'm more than happy to do that for a friend. I don't mind it. It's exciting for me to show people new places. It wasn't a big deal to me. It was actually a bigger deal to him without me realizing it. Right? Because it shows the shift in how much I actually cared. And it's not to say you shouldn't show someone that you care, I'm talking about in the early stages when getting to know someone let them pursue you Let them do the work let them show you and prove to you who they are as a person because otherwise you might get burned Like what does happen to me? I was ready to do the most because that's just who I am. Like I'm a giving

person when it comes to people I really care about, when it comes to my heart, I tend to do the most. But now I'm realizing, fuck that. I'm not here to do the most for anyone. I need to do the most for myself. That's it. Bottom line, put myself first, date myself first, love myself first, and the right person will be able to keep up with that and be able to keep up with that and be able to keep me in my power and make me feel even more powerful and more confident. Now, I was with one of my best friends last night.

We got tea, we walked in the West Village, we had dinner. I love her. Also need to have her on the podcast. I think me and my two best friends, Haley and Ankita, we need to make a group BFF episode because every time we go out to dinner, we always have these amazing chats about life and relationships and it's so incredible. Anyways, so I was with her, I was with my friend Ankita, we were in the West Village and I was filling her in on what had happened and she's like,

you are so fucking powerful. So for you to step outside of that and get like knocked out of alignment is crazy to me because you're one of the most powerful women I know. And it hurts me to see you hurting because it's like, this isn't who you are. You in this moment hurting, grieving over the loss of a relationship. This isn't who you are.

You know who you are. You know how powerful you are. You know who you are. You know how powerful you are. You know your worth. You know how incredible you are and what you bring to the table. The right man isn't even gonna ever make you feel close to what you're feeling right now. It's not even a question in my mind. You need a man that's going to walk beside you and make you feel like a fucking empress, make you feel like the badass-ass woman that you are at all times, your career is going to thrive and skyrocket because of that person even more.

You're going to be even more in your element. You're gonna feel safe. You're gonna feel protected. You're gonna feel pursued and wanted. And right now that's not it. This is just another learning lesson to show you what it shouldn't be. And I was like, yeah, 100%, you're right.

If it taught me anything, it just taught me to stay grounded, stay in my power, don't travel to see anyone, don't make any grand gestures to make sure that they're interested in you. Just take a step fucking back, know your worth, know who you are and what you bring to the table, and understand that the right man is going to make you feel

worshipped and appreciated and valued for the person that you are. There was another thing that happened with this guy, whatever, I guess it's so hard for me to publicize any information because I almost I'm so cognizant of like protecting people and making sure that they're not hurt from the words that I say. I'm a very empathetic, caring person and I've never exposed anyone on the podcast. I've never talked badly about anyone. But like, this was one of these situations where I think I was so blindsided that I couldn't believe that,

I couldn't believe that the end of it was really happening, if that makes sense, because it felt like it was going so far in one positive way, where I was like 100% sure about someone, and then it went like the complete opposite way, basically overnight, which is crazy. And one of the things he said to me was like, I feel like we're so different, because I just want someone that's able to like be free and kind

of like let go and like social situations. And sometimes I just want to be crazy and stupid and whatever. And I was like, you don't know a thing about me. How do you judge someone in two months? You don't know a thing about me. You haven't seen me in different environments. You haven't seen me out with my friends. You've never even met my friends. You haven't seen me with my family.

You haven't seen me on a night out really in a bigger social environment. You don't know every side of me. So who are you to judge me and criticize me and pick me apart and say, I'm not this way and I'm not compatible with you because of XYZ. Now he could have just been criticizing me to protect himself in some weird psychological way. But like there were certain things he started saying where I was like, how do you even know that? How do you even know if I'm free or not? I have the word fucking freedom tatted on my wrist for a reason. I pride myself on being free.

I pride myself on having my own company, being able to travel the world, being an entrepreneur, having that freedom mentality. My whole podcast is fucking centered around freedom and just being a free spirit and living life based on my terms and doing whatever the fuck I want. And now I have someone that barely knows me that is telling me I'm not letting go or free enough for you. If letting go and free means getting fucked up

on a night out and getting wasted and jumping on a table and dancing, let me know. I was 21 once, I've had many years of partying in my life. I've done a lot, I've done a lot. I'm 31. Now, I don't really know still what he meant by that. But at the same time, I was kind of reviewing everything because I was like, once again, I'm like, I didn't deserve any of that. I

just didn't deserve it. I feel like I can't change for anyone. And they can't change for me. But like to be kind of criticized for something that's not even true. It just felt like I was suddenly under a microscope and under attack. You don't know a thing about freedom. You don't know a thing about me when it comes to freedom and the person that I am and the identity that I pride myself on. It's almost like you're trying to tear it down. So I told my friend this yesterday and her mouth, her jaw was on the floor. She was like, you are freedom. You are freedom. You are this free spirited, highly independent woman.

And look at like all the success you've built for yourself. And when I'm around you, I feel like a more free version of myself. And that's all you need to know. If someone is making you feel small or trying to make you feel smaller about your character, it's just not the right person. So I think the learning lesson here is don't let anyone fucking tell you who you are. That's another one that I learned from this experience is don't let anyone define you just because they got one glimpse of you in a certain environment or, you know, they

think or assume certain things that they really have no idea about. I feel like you should never have to prove yourself to anyone either. And when you start to feel like you have to prove yourself to someone or you have to change who you are in order to make them perceive you in a better light or perceive you a certain way. That's just a red flag in itself. And I think obviously there are misunderstandings. Everyone misspeaks sometimes. Everyone has their moments where they're like, you know, I didn't mean exactly how it came off. And I don't think, I don't think this person meant any genuine harm by what he was saying, but there was just so many things where I was like

What happened to the guy that was like admiring how successful I am and was so proud of me and was telling me that he wanted to grow with me and he wanted to Evolve with me and I was inspiring, what happened to that version of you? What happened to him in two weeks time? Or the version of that person that was saying that, I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. And then all of a sudden it was like, yeah, well, you're not really my typical type.

It was the polarity, like the flip of a switch that made me just shocked to my fucking core. At the end of the day, there's nothing that I can do about it. Like there's nothing that I could change. I wish I could go back in time and reverse what happened and just forget it happened. Like I wish that, you know, it wasn't... I wish that it didn't end the way that it did. I feel like I did my best to keep it together and

to end it maturely and to really end it on a positive note. But at the same time, I'm like, it's really, really important to take your time. Take your time getting to know someone. Take your time to see every side of someone and be around someone that makes you fucking happy and that makes you feel like a better version of yourself. Be with someone that inspires you to grow and be better. If you're the one only making that person feel that way

and you feel drained or you feel like sad or anxious or like you're losing yourself in their presence, it's not the right match. And it doesn't mean, doesn't mean that person is a bad person. It just means that it's not the right fit. Throughout this process, throughout this situation, this situation, I feel like I've only learned more about myself and getting stronger. And I feel like situations like this, regardless of how hard they might seem in the moment and how emotional it was when I left and I had to just say goodbye and just close the door, I do feel like I have become so much stronger emotionally as a woman, I've become more confident in myself,

even more than I already was, more grounded in who I am. And if anything, it's teaching me to not be afraid to speak my truth and not be afraid to stand up for myself if I feel like I'm not being treated fairly. I just, I came back to New York feeling a totally new sense of self where I was just like, I deserve better. Like I deserve the world. And, you know, everyone makes mistakes. I think he made the biggest mistake of his life, but that's just my opinion. And I think in due time, everything will be revealed.

The truth is always revealed of why things happen the way that they did. I've become very spiritual slash religious over the last six months, and I do believe in God more than ever now. I never believed in God, to be honest. I was pretty agnostic my whole life, and I was believe in God more than ever now. I never believed in God, to be honest. I was pretty agnostic my whole life. And I was very spiritual.

I believed in some sort of higher power, but over the last six months, I started believing more in God. And for me, it's been such a game changer because I know that no matter what, and no matter what battles I go through, no matter what heartbreaks I go through, I come out stronger and more empowered on the other side. I feel like I've evolved so much.

And when I look to a higher power to guide me, it just gets me through some of the worst moments of my life. I can turn to God and say, thank you for teaching me something from this or thank you for making me stronger emotionally or thank you for never leaving my side Even though this person might leave my side I have God that has my back that has my best interest and I'm putting my trust and faith in This higher power that this is divine protection No matter what it is right now whether I'm gonna end up with this guy whether I end up with someone else It's more suited to me.

Every time I go through something like this, it's redirected me into something better. I love the quote, God doesn't take someone out of your life without replacing them with someone better or something better. God doesn't take something out of your life without replacing it with something better. And I believe that's true. Even though in the moment you feel like you've lost, you know, something really special or you're throwing something away,

there is a divine reason why it is happening for you and it's not supposed to be working against you or ruining your life. It's supposed to be actually enhancing it in the long term. But in the moment we get so caught up in the emotion of it all and we're like, oh my God, like I just lost the love of my life, or oh my God, I'm going through this pain

and this heartbreak, why is this happening to me? But the truth is, everything is happening for you, and maybe you can't see it right now, but it's so comforting to me to have a higher power guiding me and knowing that it's really just divine protection, and you're being guided into a totally new life where you might come out an even stronger, more empowered, confident version of you,

and that will guide you to the right person. I feel like now I'm so fucking well equipped to meet my soulmate and to meet the love of my life. And the next person that walks into my life has to be that person because I'm not gonna tolerate anything less than incredible because I know my heart, I know what I have to offer, I know that my intentions are always pure, they're always good and I deserve someone that's at that level. I deserve someone who can handle all of me and who isn't afraid to walk by my side and

grow with me and evolve with me.