Date Yourself Instead - How to trust your higher self and divine calling - a breakup pep talk

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

This episode discusses how to the process of your life and how to tap in to your higher self so you can live to your fullest potential. In this episode, I also dive into several story times about my past relationships and the lessons I learned over the recent solar eclipse. It's time to step into your power and really acknowledge that in her voice that's calling you to do more and TRUST in your future. JOIN MY MASTERCLASS DARE TO DETACH Doors open in May. You can sign up for the waitlist if the doors are currently closed for the masterclass.

So you're going through a breakup and you feel like your world is completely flipped upside down and shattered because you have no idea where to turn, you have no idea what direction to go in and you feel like you're just lost, you feel like you have no idea what the next step of your life is because you've spent the last six months, a year, two years, three years, eight years, whatever it is, centering your life around another human being. You're so used to them, you're holding on to the memories, you've done everything together, you might have lived together. You're spending so much time with this one person that when you actually break up, you feel completely lost. You've lost your sense of self, you've lost your identity because you've made your identity centered around another person. So trusting the process after the breakup is so difficult sometimes and it's one of the

hardest things to do because it really requires you to surrender to the absolute unknown and the unseen. And what I mean by that is it requires you to have complete unwavering faith in what you're not physically seeing yet. And that means even when your physical world and your life really feels so shitty and you feel like you're at your lowest possible point and you don't have any physical evidence that things are going to get better, it's still having that faith that everything can change and everything will change and everything will improve for the better and it's all about rewiring your mind. But this can be challenging and I have a lot of people messaging me lately, how do I trust the process? How do I get

over this? I have no idea what to do. I feel so confused. I feel so defeated. This person left me. This person betrayed me. Whatever it may be and whatever your situation is, I know how trusting the process and tapping into your higher self can be such a challenge if you're not really sure what the steps are to take. So this episode is all about how to trust your higher self, trusting the process, tapping into your highest potential, and really understanding how to listen to that inner voice that's directing you in a way where you can live your life so much more honestly and authentically. I was never really a religious person,

but over the last year and a half, I've definitely become slightly more religious and more spiritual, I would say, simply because of the concept of faith and understanding that in order to really manifest and in order to really attract better things into your reality and in order to get what you truly fucking want out of your life,

you need to practice this concept of faith where you know that even if things are not exactly the way you want them right now, it is absolutely guaranteed that things will get better. And it is absolutely guaranteed that you will find your soulmate. There is this concept of your ego versus your higher self. And this is so mind blowing for me.

My best friend, Haley and I were voicing noting each other and we were talking about how there's this constant battle between our ego when we go through a breakup and our higher self. And our ego is trying to keep us safe. Our ego is trying to keep us in the comfort of knowing this person. They were a huge part of our lives. It's comfortable to sit in the feelings of maybe this is my person I just need to wait it out and we'll get back together. Or maybe this is my person I just need to wait it out and we'll get back together or maybe this is my person and it's just a rough patch and although that can be true and I'm not saying that's not true, our ego is often trying to keep us comfortable and safe especially if it's the wrong person because that's just what we're familiar with and it tries to keep us stuck in

the same cycles and patterns that we condition our brain to be in and that feel familiar and safe and that feel comfortable to us. And then there's our higher self, which is that little inner voice calling us for something bigger and greater in our lives. And we're so afraid to lean into that and we're so afraid to trust. And there's that little voice telling us, you deserve better. You deserve more out of your life. You're meant for bigger things. You deserve to find your soulmate and not staying stuck on someone that's not treating

you right. But we tend to suppress it and avoid it and ignore it because it can be terrifying. It can be so scary to dive into the unknown with no actual physical evidence that that's going to be a better option for us. And when we're not seeing our future and we can't see how it's mapped out in front of us and we don't really know what the future holds, it can be so terrifying that we're not seeing our future and we can't see how it's mapped out in front of us, and we don't really know what the future holds, it can be so terrifying that we're going to just settle for what our ego is saying and what our ego is communicating to us to keep

us safe and protected. But if you have that inner voice in your head saying, you deserve better, you usually do. And I've said that on many other episodes. If you have that inner knowing and you keep suppressing it and you keep shoving it down and you keep ignoring it, eventually that will start to eat at you. And eventually it will bite you in the ass because you're not gonna ever truly be living authentically

if you don't tap into that inner voice. And that's why I always say, having that unwavering faith is the key to tapping into our highest potential. When we dive into the unknown, that's where the magic happens. And what I realized, especially over the last month being in Australia and being put in a situation where I had to trust my higher self quite a few times here, because there were situations and people in my life that were weighing me down, that were giving me

anxiety, that were interfering with my happiness while I was here. I had to trust my inner voice, even though in the physical reality, there was no guarantee that moving forward would be a better choice, but I had to trust, and I had to break away from these people because I knew that was my only option and only chance at actually

Being happy and actually honoring my truth and it was scary I wasn't sure if I was gonna mention this on the episode But during this powerful eclipse and so many people were posting about it on social media saying how they energetically felt so many shifts It was so emotional for so many people. I had three X's reach out to me and for so many people. I had three exes reach out to me. And there was three separate situations where I had to evaluate myself and listen to that inner voice

and listen to my higher self saying, don't fall back into these traps. Do not go backwards. Because if you start entertaining these people, if you start opening up these timelines that you shut down already and you've moved forward from, it's only going to bite you in the ass, as I just said, and only going to make you feel

like you're not living authentically. Because I've grown out of a lot of these people and situations, but it's always tempting when you're vulnerable, when you're emotional, and you're having like a day and then someone from your past crawls back in. It's so easy to get sucked back into it. It's so easy to fall back into the cycle

that you thought you broke. And for me, it was the most challenging week, I swear, I've ever had in so long, just actually following my higher self instead of saying, you know what, it's not so bad if I just have conversations with my exes. It's not so bad if I just entertain this whatever. And I did for a second, I'm not gonna lie.

Like I did reply, I did reply to all of them. And I don't regret it. But at the same time, I had to cut it off and listen to that inner voice saying, this is something you've evolved past. This is something that is comfortable. This is something that's familiar. But you've evolved past this. You've evolved past this stage of your life where you were settling and you weren't happy and you were in relationships that kept you stuck and you were with people that didn't see your value and your worth. I realized through these experiences that the only way to actually be truly, truly at a level of alignment and peace and fulfillment is when you're fully leaning into that higher

self version of you that's talking to you in your head and saying to you, this probably isn't the best decision. This person isn't right for you. And when you fully lean into that and you trust that, even though it can be so scary, and it feels like you might be making the wrong decision by leaping into your future with no actual game plan or strategy, that faith in your higher self is going to take you to the next level of your life guaranteed. It's always when you're diving into the unknown and you're met with a little bit of fear,

that's where the magic happens. And it's something that I always tell myself when I'm really scared to take a leap of faith into something new. This doesn't just have to be about relationships. This could be about a new career opportunity, moving to a new place, taking that solo trip you always wanted to take. It could be literally applicable to anything. And that initial fear, that feeling of dread where you're like, oh my God, I don't know if I'm making the right decision. That's

normal. That's human to feel that way. And I have a lot of people who have come to me with questions about this too, because there's a lot of fear centered around taking leaps of faith. And that's the only way, that's the only way that you're going to be able to up-level and change your life. If you're staying stuck in the same place for 10 years

with the same people, you know they're not right for you, you have toxic friendship circles, you're in a toxic career where you feel like you're not tapping into your highest potential. If you're not willing to break free and leap into the unknown, you're going to stay stuck. You're going to stay stuck permanently. And if you have that inner voice saying, I'm meant for so much more, you are meant for so much more. Now, something else about the eclipse that happened was a lot of hidden secrets and truths

being revealed, especially with one of my ex-partners that I had a really intense relationship with. I've mentioned him on the podcast before. It was someone that I loved and care for more than anything in the world. We had a very intense conversation and a lot of hidden secrets and things we kept from each other came to the surface during this week. And there was a conversation in particular that I had with him where I realized that a lot of our relationship was built off of dishonesty in order to protect the other person.

And once we cleared the air, it was so healing to have that talk because there was so much left unsaid. And I think sometimes we need to have these conversations with our ex-partners and people from our past to clear any emotional blockages that can prevent us from having a better future and that could prevent us from having healthier relationships in the future.

I really think this eclipse season was literally one of the most intense experiences I've ever had in my life because it felt so transformative to clear out so many blockages that kept me stuck from propelling forward in my life. And I think a lot of people can relate to this because this energy was all about transformation and renewal and rebirth. And I talk a lot about this on my Instagram as well. For those of you who follow me on Instagram, you've probably seen my stories about the eclipse transforming, stepping into your power, and really having that confidence and ability to walk away knowing that there's

something greater for you on the other side of fear. I didn't even realize how much tightness I had in my chest from that relationship. And I think there were still pieces of me that were really holding on. Obviously I'm here on the podcast to share my wisdom and my experiences from my dating life, but that relationship in particular,

I think it's almost stored in my chest. There was just this feeling of tightness that I had. And once I had that conversation with him, and we talked about a lot of things that we had kept from each other, it almost felt like I had released something physically. And I feel like there was a piece of me, if I'm being completely transparent, that was still clinging on to the past. And I think that was part of the reason why I can never fully open myself up to dating. Even though I have been dating and I have met other people since that relationship happened,

I've been so focused on dating myself instead that I unknowingly was holding myself back from truly being open and opening my heart. And I think that conversation illuminated that for me. And my higher self started to communicate with me after that talk and was saying, you need to open your heart and you need to be brave enough to not only open your heart, but to understand that sometimes you have to really, really truly close the door on people

that even if you love them and you're always gonna love them and care about them, you have to truly close that door in order to open a new timeline for yourself. And in order to open yourself up to the possibility of truly being happy and truly living honestly. And I don't think I was being fully honest with myself all this time.

There's something about also just stripping away your ego in a conversation with someone and laying all your cards on the table with someone you care about because you cannot have any sort of successful relationship if it's not built on honesty, right? If you're just having these surface level relationships where you're lying to each other to protect each other's happiness, that's not really authentic and that's not living your truth and it's never going to get you far, especially romantically, if you are not being your truest self and

if you're not living as your truest self. There was also this crazy thing where I saw this sign in my Airbnb where I was staying in Australia and it had this artwork of a pair of eyes looking down on the wall above my bedroom and it looked exactly like my first YouTube cover. And I used to do music. I don't really do it anymore. Maybe I'll get back into it eventually. But the artwork literally looked exactly like the artwork of my music that I put out 11 years ago, right after I had left Australia, because I studied

abroad here. And I was looking at it, I was like, that looks like me on the wall. This artwork literally looks like my eyes and my music cover photo on the wall of my Airbnb. So that song that I wrote is called Betrayed and the lyrics are, you hurt me once, I took the pain, you hurt me twice, I took the blame, third time comes around, it's just a game. That's the beginning of the song. And for some reason, it just felt so symbolic. It felt like almost that artwork was symbolic of me closing

a really toxic relationship pattern I've had since I'm 15 years old when I released that song. And I was looking at the art and then I was thinking about what was happening with my ex partner and the conversation we had. And it felt like I had finally closed this toxic cycle of really shitty relationships that I've had since I'm 15 years old.

And it was so trippy. I felt like I was actually really feeling the simulation in this moment because I was like, oh my God, this song and this art is so symbolic of what I was going through 15 years ago. It almost feels like nothing had changed because I had the same relationship with three different people in

three different physical bodies for the last 15 years of my life. And the thing is, if you don't heal the patterns in your relationships and if you don't heal that piece of you internally that keeps attracting these people, you're going to get the same relationship in different physical bodies. And I hope I'm making sense here, but for me, I just realized as of recently that I have been dating the same situation, but just in three different people because I've had three serious relationships.

So that was really interesting to me. These are all just like revelations I had during the eclipse, but my higher self was just communicating to me and telling me all of this information and being like, you're closing the cycle now. This is a brand new start and chapter of your life. You don't have to be in toxic relationships anymore. You don't have to continue this ever again. You could start a clean slate when you get back to New York. You don't have to go back to what you used to go for the same type where it just became this loop of up and down rollercoaster motions, trying to get your needs met, trying to understand why things aren't working.

You don't need to do that anymore. And it was just so healing, but it was also so trippy at the same time. And yeah, just one of those situations where I feel like a piece of me needed to come to Australia to heal. And the last time I was here, that's when I released that song. And to just see the art on the wall was, yeah, it was insane, honestly.

Anyways, so I don't want wanna get too off tangent here, but I think the whole point I'm trying to make is patterns will show up in different physical bodies until you completely heal it. And I don't think I was ever fully honest and true to myself starting from my first relationship because I didn't know myself well enough to be my first relationship because I didn't know myself well enough to be honest with myself.

I didn't know what was actually right or wrong for me. I didn't know what healthy was. And a lot of people can relate to this. You don't know what healthy is if you grew up maybe in an environment that wasn't healthy because you think that's normal. Or you just don't know yourself and you're still figuring yourself out and you just don't know what it is that you actually need. You don't know what's actually gonna make you feel good and you just start settling for people

that treat you badly. It's a very common thing that a lot of people go through and I'm sure a lot of people listening to this podcast can relate to that. But now I'm at a point in my life where I'm like, I have an open opportunity and a chance now at 31 years old to reclaim my power, know who I really opportunity and a chance now at 31 years old to reclaim my power, know who I really am and be fully transparent with who I am and lean into the

woman that I want to become. And diving into the unknown is a part of this. And having complete unwavering faith in the unknown is a part of this. And just trusting that I'm a different person now. I've closed the toxic cycles. I've closed the toxic cycles. I've closed the toxic chapters on my life. And that's also what my course is all about. Dare to detach, just detaching and surrendering and trusting the process.

That's why I created it in the first place because I know that's the key to attracting everything you want is to surrender and to trust and have faith in the unseen. It is the key to everything, to living to your highest potential. Now the next part of this episode is going to cover how to really listen to your higher self and tap into that because some of you might be asking, what is my higher self? What does that even really mean? Because I keep saying it over and over again, it's probably getting really repetitive.

But I'm going to dive a little deeper and explain how you can tap into it and what it really is. You're going to hear an inner voice in your head if you really pay attention and listen to yourself. Forget about everyone else for a second. You're blocking out the noise, you're blocking out all the garbage, blocking out social media, stop scrolling blocking out all the garbage, blocking out social media, stop scrolling, stop consuming other people's lives.

Get yourself alone for a moment and really listen to what the inner voice in your head is saying. Because you're going to hear something, and you can ignore it, you could suppress it, you could distract yourself and bury this voice for your entire life pretty much, you could. But at the end of the day, it's still there, it's just a matter of how much you're actually listening to it. And I think in all of my relationships, I've ignored that voice and suppressed certain parts of who I was to try to make it work. I would always try to make something work with someone because one, I loved them, so I was willing to sacrifice my happiness, which is not, maybe that's not real,

genuine, authentic, unconditional love, but it was something that I thought I needed to do. And two, I was terrified to be alone. I was scared to honor who I was, and I was scared to really know who I was without them. So all of those fears combined, I would just ignore my inner voice, which is also your higher self in a way, right?

That voice that's telling you and guiding you to do things that might be better for you. It was just easier for me to suppress it, push it away and not listen to it. And when you're afraid to lose someone else and you're afraid to be alone, you will do whatever you can to suppress that voice and say, I can't be alone. I need to figure it out with this person.

But then if you hear that inner voice and you're listening to it and it's saying, oh shit, I know I deserve better, but I'm just going to try to ride this out. I'm just going to try to stick it out. That's you ignoring it. And it can be terrifying because if you do end up going with it and listening to it, and then you end up alone, you're basically standing on your own two feet outside of a relationship for the first time. You're like, what the fuck am I doing?

This is so scary. You're going to be tempted to run back to them at first because it's terrifying because you're just literally for the first time really following something with no real direction. You're just following your own guidance in a way. It takes a lot of courage to fully look within and listen to that. But if you hear it, the whole point of this episode is basically to say, don't ignore it,

because it's gonna catch up to you eventually. And there is more for you if you believe that. And there is more for you, regardless of what situation you're in, whether it's a relationship, whether it's you feel like you have a higher calling in life, a different purpose than what you're doing right now. If you hear something, you are meant for it.

You are meant for more. And I want you to trust yourself and really tap into that more and not be afraid to listen to that more. When I was really confused about my purpose in 2020, I really had no idea what I was doing with my life a few years ago, like to the point where I was extremely depressed. I was at a really low point. I like drained out my bank account trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I had so many bad, bad things,

like a domino effect just happening to me all around that frame. And I remember just hearing a voice saying, I needed to start a podcast because there were so many people asking me for one, but my ego was battling with it. And I was like, no, that's so stupid. I'm not doing that. Everyone has a podcast. That's so stupid. That's so stupid. I literally would shove that voice away. I think it was almost a year and a half where I was like so against starting it. I was also against starting my course. I was against starting anything that felt new, like anything that felt like it could be a new venture.

I was like, no, I'm comfortable here. I want to do something different. I don't want to do that. And there was a turning point for me where I was just like, I remember I was sitting in my apartment in New York, and I was at an all time low where I was just like, I really have no idea what the next step should be. Like, I have no fucking clue.

And I had connected with this guy who was in the podcast industry who was emailing me and Was telling me all about podcasting and like I had no idea about the podcast space at this time I was like I had no idea like how much money you could make from it I had no idea what signing to a network meant. I had I knew nothing. I didn't even know how to grow the podcast. I literally was starting from zero, but he had just emailed me and was explaining things to me. And then we got on a call. And he was telling me all of these things about podcasts in general and how if it is successful, it's an amazing line of work. And there's basically

so many people in the industry that have turned their podcasts into so much more just because they're helping other people and they're making a difference. And he just kept telling me more and more and more information about it to the point where it started to get stuck in my head. And then my inner voice started having conversations with this information. So it took someone else's information about it in order to really understand that might be a good idea. But I had that inner voice in me for a year and a half. So it wasn't exactly him that made me start the podcast,

but it was like the last and final stepping stone where I realized suddenly I was like, this could be a really good idea, not only from a career perspective, but I've always wanted to help people. I've always wanted to make a difference. I've always wanted to connect with more people on a more intimate level. This could be aligned with my higher calling.

And it finally clicked. It took a very long time. Took almost two years for me to come to this realization and listen to that inner voice. And that's also why I'm making this episode because if I could have started it two years earlier, I would have. Then again, maybe I wasn't ready for it. I think everything happens in divine timing and I think everything happens for a reason.

But I knew my purpose two years prior before really tapping into it is my point because I had that inner voice talking to me about it. But I was just so fucking stubborn. And my ego was like wrestling with it being like, this is dumb, you should not start a podcast. It's not gonna ever be anything and no one's gonna listen to it.

Literally that was the narrative that was going on in my head at the time. The point being is sometimes that inner voice will unknowingly guide you before you're ready to hear any information. And it won't make sense. It won't make any fucking sense. But looking back now and seeing what I'm doing now,

how I'm working, the Date Yourself Instead brand, everything that I've built, I'm like, oh my God, that was my direction the whole time. And I was just like pushing it away the whole time. And it's so crazy how far it's come, but it's so crazy that I was fighting so hard against it for so long. So yeah, pretty much what point of this episode

is to say your higher self knows better than you do, but you really have to listen to it. And you really have to be brave enough to take that step. Okay, so how do you really listen to your higher self? What are some ways you can do this and practice this? What are some ways you can actually be honest and more truthful with that version of you that you wanna become?

Now, your higher self is the person you want to be in a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now. If you close your eyes and visualize where you see yourself and how much more amazing and magical your life is, that's pretty much what I'm referring to. If you see this new version of you, that's like a phoenix rising from the ashes

is the analogy I always use, but it's like that person that you want to become after going through a hard period of time, especially a breakup. This always happens when you see people having these major globs after a breakup. It's like you are transforming your identity in a way after going through a significant loss or something painful or something tragic. How do you see yourself in a year from now? If you're currently going through a breakup, if you're going through a really difficult period of time,

if you close your eyes for a minute, I want you to close your eyes, just for 30 seconds to a minute. And I want you to, maybe you should pause the episode to do this, but just visualize that person. What do they look like? How do they feel?

What are they doing in their lives? Are they doing what you're doing right now? Are they fulfilling all of their dreams? Are they going after what they want? Are they confident? Are they powerful? Are they able to Manifest anything that they want? You have to visualize that person I think that's the key and the first step is just being aware that there is that version of you. There is that version of you that exists. And also,

if you're really happy right now with where you're at in life, it doesn't mean you have to take any steps right now to drastically change your life. But if you are looking to make a significant change, and if you're looking to transform your reality and heal and up-level in a brand new way, I want you to really visualize this person and who this person is. I think it's natural to want to grow and evolve and become better.

It doesn't matter how old you are. It doesn't matter what place you are in your life. Who doesn't want to improve? I think it's just a natural human thing to wanna be better and attract more abundance into your life and have new experiences and opportunities. But also there's beauty in staying where you are too. So if you're happy with your life,

you don't have to listen to this advice. But I think if you are ready for change, you have to envision that there is a version of you out there on a new timeline, in a new reality, that you can access if you truly put your mind to it and you truly want that. You can 100% transform your life and up-level into the person you want to be if you take

the necessary steps to do so. And if you're conscious and aware that that person exists in the first place, you have to really believe that, right? Then the second step is to, I would say take 15 minutes when you wake up in the morning and when you go to bed at night and listen to that inner voice speak to you. Get off your phone, stop feeding any distractions that keep you blocked or that keep your brain preoccupied.

Stop texting your ex. Stop getting lost in what people are doing on their vacation and Bora Bora, whatever it is that you're consumed with. I feel like I always use that line. I need to change my, I need to change the lines that I use. I always use like the Bora Bora reference because I always just see people talking about how they're consumed with other people going on vacation and traveling on Instagram. My point is shut your fucking phone off, okay? And I want you to meditate. And there's this one meditation I do that's also part of my course,

but I'll just give you a little free access to some of the tools and resources I use. There's this YouTube channel called Shiverasa, I believe. And she has an amazing YouTube channel with all these breathwork meditations and just like really good healing sounds. And I do her breathwork YouTube guided visualization meditations and they're amazing. And there's this one called higher self. So that's the one I use often. And the higher self meditation taps into this version

of you that you're visualizing in five, 10, 15 years from now, right? Do that visualization meditation because I think it's very powerful and also do it repeatedly. It's not a one-time thing where you just do it once and then you carry on with your life. Your brain needs repetition of certain things in order to make it a pattern and have things show up in your reality. So if you do something once, it might not stick, but if you do it repeatedly, you'll start to notice results. So for me, visualizing every single day about the person I want to become is essential, and that's part of tapping into that higher self. And then the next step is after you listen to that version of you and visualize that. Journal, write down what you hear, write down what that inner voice is telling you,

or write down what you see visually. For example, I would get a journal and I would start fresh, buy a new one. If you're looking to change your life and start a new chapter of your life, throw out all the old journals you have with anything in them, start fresh. Okay, I always like to do this too.

If I wanna start a new chapter of my life, I replace everything old with new things. So go buy a new journal, get some new pens, whatever it is. When you're waking up in the morning, get a coffee, whatever it is you drink, have your breakfast and sit down, shut your phone off. I have a separate do not disturb option on my phone now. It's called healing and it's just this option

where none of my apps are available and it's no notifications or anything. The only thing is my wallpaper is my vision board and it's just like a super motivating and inspiring thing for me to be able to look at in the morning. That's the only thing on this setting on my phone. So just make sure you're not distracted and take this time to journal to look at in the morning. That's the only thing on this setting on my phone. So just make sure you're not distracted and take this time to journal

and listen to that stream of consciousness, just like pouring out on the paper, where you're like, this is my higher self talking. What do I want out of my life? Am I the best version of myself right now? Do I think I can improve in any ways? What am I actually looking for? Am I happy with the current relationship that I'm in? Am I happy with the current relationship that I'm in?

Am I happy with the current friendships that I'm in? Am I happy in my life in general? Am I fulfilling my purpose? Am I really listening to my higher calling? Whatever it may be, write everything down. These things are so important because we often just, as I said, can easily distract ourselves from our inner voice

and suppress and ignore it. And when we're journaling, we actually shut the world off for an hour to a day. It doesn't have to be that long, but for me, I like to take an hour a day to really do this, just sitting with my thoughts and writing things down. And seeing also it as like a magical challenge in a way to see how much I could actually change my life and up level.

It's like a game in a way, but it's a fun game because I look at life as like this simulation in a way where like you have the power to control your reality, right? With through your thoughts and through your belief systems. And I think for me, when I write down my manifestations or things I want to accomplish or where I want to see myself in five years from now, when I start to see those things slowly becoming true in my physical reality, it's so fucking exciting. I'm like, oh my God, I actually did that.

Like I've written things down and a week later, they've manifested out of thin air where I'm like, how the fuck did that happen? For example, recently, there was someone that I actually had wanted to communicate with and I hadn't spoken to him in a very long time and I wrote about it in my journal and I was just thinking about it and There was this inner knowing that it was happening

I was like this is gonna happen something's gonna happen where there's gonna be some sort of communication happening really soon. I Swear to you four days later this person texted me. I haven't spoken to to you, four days later, this person texted me. I haven't spoken to them in months. Four days later, that was all it took. And that was because I suddenly transformed my energy and realized that I have an inner knowing that that's happening. So that's why I say everything is like this fun game to me

because it's like, what can you actually manifest if you truly believe it's possible for you, right? So that's the next step is just writing things down, knowing what you want and believing that it's possible for you. And the next step is learning about the art of detachment and learning how to truly release and let go of anything or anyone that isn't serving your highest good,

which is actually one of the most important steps because people and situations that are not good for you will block you from accessing your higher timeline. So you have to get really honest with yourself, honesty, just being authentic with who you are and having that conversation with yourself and knowing who's actually right for you and following that path of releasing what's no longer serving your growth is scary because it's really hard when you are attached to someone and As intimidating as that might be and terrifying because you're diving into the unknown once again having that faith and having that trust that

Your higher self knows better than you do and is just trying to guide you in the right direction That's what? Helps me release and let go and this is what my course covers too So for example if you're writing down in your journal what helps me release and let go. And this is what my course covers too. So for example, if you're writing down in your journal, I know that this person has made me a lesser version of myself and I need to let this person go in order to heal and evolve, but I'm afraid,

that's your inner voice telling you that they're probably not aligned with the highest version of you. And it's probably the best decision to let them go. So just being aware of what's good for you and what's not, and really leaning into that and trusting that if you let this go, it'll open more doors for you and it'll open a brand new experience for you,

that is also the key to really tapping into your highest potential. Another thing I like to do is reframing my mindset. Why would it be a positive thing to let this person go? Why would it be a positive thing to let go of that toxic relationship or that career, whatever situation it is? How can it be positive?

What is the best case scenario that could happen if I choose to actually let go and lean into that more? Just get completely fucking real with yourself and tap into that version of you that completely fucking real with yourself and tap into that version of you that's asking yourself deep meaningful questions. What do I need out of life? What's really going to make me truly happy? Is this person making me happy or do I know I deserve a million times better? What's going to make me feel fulfilled? What is my actual calling? What is my purpose in this lifetime? Am I really living truthfully or am I just living out of fear? Am I blocking myself because I'm so fucking terrified to

change anything about my life? If you knew you had a month left to live, which I always frame things this way because life is unpredictable and I don't want to be like dark or morbid, but life is unpredictable. And sometimes you have to reframe it in this way because it's precious. Like the time you have here now is so precious that it's so beneficial to think of it this way. Like if I had a limited amount of time, what would I be doing right now? Would I be sitting on my phone waiting for this guy to answer my texts? Or would I be out living my best life, tapping into my highest potential, doing whatever it is I want to do and just living as much as I can live, right?

You're not like so consumed in someone else's energy, but you're really putting all your energy into yourself because you know you have a limited timeframe. So I like to think about things like that too. And I'm just going to enter this in really quickly because the reason I created my course, Dare to Detach, was literally to learn how to detach and free yourself from all that stuff and all the stuff that might be weighing you down and feels heavy. And if you're feeling stuck, if you're feeling blocked, that is what my course is there for and all the techniques I've used to let go and release all the blockages in my life,

all the steps I've taken to heal. They're all a part of Dare to Detach. We have such a beautiful, amazing community. We're supporting each other through the healing process and detachment process. And I know how it could be so challenging and intimidating to let go of people in situations, because when we're used to having someone or something in our life, it can feel impossible to let go of. So that's what I created the course for.

And it's basically there to get you to the next level of your life if you're looking to make drastic changes. And just a reminder, you could always use the code selflove at checkout. You can find the link to my course in the show notes or on my Instagram at date yourself instead. Now the other thing is tapping. Now, my best friend is an EFT practitioner. You can go listen to the How to Stop Being Attracted

to the Wrong People episode. Her name is Haley. She's one of my closest, dearest friends, and she was recently just on the podcast. If you've listened to that episode already, you know. She does EFT work and introduced me to it. It helps people heal and rewire their subconscious mind through tapping on acupressure points and alleviate stress and anxiety.

I've done this to clear so many anxious thoughts, fears, any blockages that are getting in the way of my growth. I definitely recommend incorporating EFT into your daily routine. If you're ever feeling anxious about your future, if you're ever feeling really stressed out or sad or depressed or angry, any emotions that you don't wanna be experiencing, EFT is such a game changer.

It regulates your nervous system. I think eventually I'm gonna host something with her, like a Zoom live workshop or something revolving around tapping, but it really is an amazing addition to everything else. And I recommend to start going on YouTube and searching tapping videos and tapping on those pressure points.

If you're anxious, if you're nervous, if you're stressed, if you're scared of something, and you say these affirmations basically, every time I've had an issue, every time I've had a negative emotion come up, tapping has changed the game for me. And it's just so incredible also the results in my physical reality I've seen just from healing relationships to healing money wounds when I was broke and I was going through the shittiest financial

situation ever a couple of years ago. I tapped on that, I've tapped on my love relationships, I've tapped on my friendships. And my life has transformed in crazy, crazy, crazy ways. Another helpful thing is affirmations, which I've also mentioned so many times to people. I cannot recommend this enough. I've suggested this to everyone I know. Writing affirmations in your phone

and saying them out loud every morning or whenever you need a little confidence boost You could say things like I am confident. I am stepping into my power. I am so Powerful and magnetic everywhere. I go. I am so sure of my decision-making I am trusting the process of my life. I have unwavering faith in the universe. I know what I want I'm a decisive person whatever it is that you're trying to work on universe, I know what I want, I'm a decisive person, whatever it is that you're trying to work on, create affirmations around that. I like to customize my own affirmations because I think everyone is trying to attain different things. So whatever feels right to you,

create your own affirmations, write them in your phone and say them frequently. It's not a one-time thing, as I said, it's not a one-time exercise. Treat it as if you have to brush your teeth, right? Every morning you wake up, you're gonna brush your teeth, I hope. So just treat it as a habit is my point versus just like doing it once and never doing it again because as I said, the brain needs repetition in order to really absorb the information and have things manifest into your reality. Another thing to quickly remind you is that you get what you focus on in life. You are manifesting based on your subconscious

and where your current thoughts are at. So if you're constantly focused on negative things, my life is never gonna get better, my life sucks, I'm never gonna meet anyone, I'm gonna die alone, X, Y, Z, whatever your fears may be, that is what is going to show up for you. Just keep this in mind as you're practicing this idea of tapping into your higher self.

Just understanding that you get what you focus on. So just be aware of the people you're surrounded by, what other people are telling you, what you're telling yourself, and just be gentle with yourself and understand that the more positively you think and the more positively you can reframe your thoughts, the better your reality will become.

And with that being said, that concludes today's episode. Thank you so much as always for listening to Date Yourself Instead. If you haven't already, be sure to rate the podcast on Apple and Spotify. It means so much to me and helps the show grow. Share this episode with a friend if you enjoyed it. I love you.

Thank you again as always and stay tuned for next Monday.