Date Yourself Instead - I did magic mushrooms in mexico - here's what I took from it

Episode Date: May 1, 2023

Psyliocybin. Magic mushrooms. Tulum. This experience changed my life and my perception of everything in the world. I was going through one of the worst depressions, and I met a Spirit Guide in Mexico who altered the course of my life permanently. She guided me through a magic mushroom trip that would ultimately lead me to creating the podcast, and free me from a great deal of trauma I had carried with me over the course of my life. In this episode I dive into the lessons this experience taught me and I hope this experience can help some of you.

Welcome to date yourself and set. Date yourself and set. What does it mean to date yourself and set? I'm just gonna learn how to love myself, and that's it. Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Date yourself and set. If you're loving the podcast so far, I would love a review. Reviews are so appreciated and keep the podcast going, and I've absolutely been loving recording these episodes for you all. So today's episode is going to be really

special and different from what I usually talk about. To be honest I was kind of nervous to speak publicly about this experience because it's like not something I would necessarily want to promote to a younger crowd. I think this is a very personal experience. It's something that I just felt was right to me at the time and it's not technically legal in a lot of places, but I always, I don't know, I always had this fear of speaking out about this, and then people labeling me as someone that like does drugs or something, and like I did something wrong, like I was always just afraid to actually speak about my experience, but this experience completely changed my perception of the world and life in general.

I came out a different person after going through this, so I think it is really important to talk about. And after educating myself a lot about it, I realized it could be really beneficial in a lot of ways from a medical standpoint. I also think there's this misconception about psilocybin and mushrooms, and I wanted to talk about it today. And I'm going to have a guest come on in the future episode that I'm gonna be making about this,

and speak about psilocybin and really dive into all the benefits from a medical perspective and how it's treated patients with PTSD, and trauma, and depression, and a lot of other serious conditions. But for now, I'm really just gonna focus on my experience and what I took from it, and hopefully you can get a little inspired just from what I learned.

This is in no way promoting to actually go and do mushrooms and experiment with psilocybin, but it's really just the knowledge that I acquired from the experience is worth talking about. And I'm going to share everything that I learned. I'm going to read you a bit of background on psilocybin. This was published by the National Library of Medicine and the National Center for Biotechnology Information. psilocybin has historically been used as a psychedelic agent for religious and spiritual ceremonies,

as well as a therapeutic option for neuropsychiatric conditions. Of all psychedelic drugs, psilocybin is reported to have the most favorable safety profile. Mental health and substance use disorders such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, autism, psychosis like schizophrenia, and substance dependence disorders are of a significant global burden. And psilocybin is really known to help treat these disorders and help relieve a lot of pain and trauma stored in the body physically and mentally.

So I'm gonna give you the full story from A to Z, what happened during my experience and how I was led and called to do so, so I've been in the first place. So as many of you know, I went through a really hard break up. I was in New York and I went into a store with my friend and we saw these pop sockets on the wall. They're the things that you connect to your phone and you stick on the back of your phone to hold your phone.

I chose this pop socket with a giant purple mushroom on it. And literally, for no reason it just stood out to me. I don't know why I chose that pop socket. There were like a million different options to choose from. I just thought it looked cool. And then the next week I was really sad and I booked a spontaneous trip to Mexico by myself. Like I don't know if that's necessarily

the safest thing to do, but I've been to Mexico a few times. I was familiar with where I was going. I was staying in Tulum. I knew Tulum pretty well. I've been to Tulum a few times for work-related things, and I just I was familiar with the area. So it wasn't like this really scary decision to book a trip by myself, but at the same time I didn't really know why I was going. I just got a push and a nudge to just book the trip. I ended up meeting this woman in Mexico halfway through my trip and she told me that she did the most amazing psilocybin experience with mushrooms and it cured all of her anxiety and depression. And I was just so depressed to be completely real with you

guys. I've spoken about it on other episodes. I was not okay. And I end up finding this woman who ran these retreats in Mexico. The girl recommended her okay. And I end up finding this woman who ran these retreats in Mexico. The girl recommended her to me. And I end up doing this one day mushroom experience with a professional guide, okay? This woman is a nurse. She knows what she's doing.

It was a super controlled and safe environment. It was a one-on-one session. I was just sitting on the beach and I trusted her completely and I felt so safe. And it was just one of the most amazing experiences I've ever been through. So I'm going to dive into the full details. I promise with her in another episode I'm going to really get into the medical background

of psilocybin and how psilocybin has been used to treat a lot of medical conditions because I think it is so fascinating. But this episode specifically is really gonna touch on what I took from my experience because these mushrooms actually make you see things you wouldn't normally see and think about things in a totally new way. It just opened up a part of my consciousness

and kind of dissolved my ego and it was just incredible. So here are some of the notes I took while I was on psilocybin. I actually wrote these down in my phone while I was on psilocybin. I actually wrote these down in my phone while I was on psilocybin. I think it was actually the next day as I was coming down from the psilocybin, but it was just magical. I was sitting on the beach and I had my phone out and I was typing all these things in my note pad to remember what I was thinking about because eventually it's going to wear

off. I wanted to just remember absolutely everything that was going through my brain at the time. So I have this note in my phone that's saved and it's locked and I'm gonna share every single bullet point right now on this podcast. So here we go. What I took from it, the basis of my life is actually total freedom.

That's such a simple statement, but it could not be more true. Before I actually touched down in Mexico, I had gotten a tattoo the week before that says freedom. I got this tattoo after my breakup and the reason and the meaning behind this tattoo is so significant because I love this feeling of being mentally free, where I don't have to worry about anyone else other than myself in appropriate situations. Obviously, if you have a child and you need to take care of your child,

or you have something really important to attend to, or some sort of important thing in your life going on, obviously you have obligations and commitments. That's totally understandable. That's just a part of human life. But just being mentally free from having to constantly wrestle with things that aren't in your best interest, we do this all the time where we get hung up on certain things that aren't going to matter in a week from now, or we get stressed out because someone cut us off

as we're driving, or someone's rude to us, and it just kind of affects the rest of our day. Being mentally free to me is just so important. And when I was doing this experience, I just kept hearing the word freedom replaying over and over in my head. And the basis of our lives and human life is actually total freedom. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to feel free from all these stresses and burdens that we carry with us all the time. Obviously, there's going to be moments in our life that are very difficult, very hard and very

difficult to process and it's not always possible to be completely, mentally, free from everything, totally understandable. But just remembering that and keeping that as a reminder to know that you deserve to feel light and you deserve to feel happy and blissful and joyful. These were all these feelings running through my body as I was going through this experience. And it's true. The basis of your life is freedom. If you don't feel free in your relationships, if you don't feel free in your friendships, or if you feel just trapped in a shitty situation, just remember that your soul desires to be free.

That is what I concluded from doing this experience. And yeah, I know this episode might get a little deep because a lot of these thoughts and things that I were writing down were are writing down were pretty deep. So I guess I should have prefaced the episode with this. If you're not looking to go deep today, this might not be the best episode to listen to right now, but there's a lot more to come. So all right, let's just get into it.

A true soulmate will fully accept who I am as I am and love me unconditionally with no rules, restrictions or requests. So when I wrote this statement, it was coming off of the experience that I had in my last relationship where I thought true love was controlled. I felt like if my partner was controlling me, that meant they loved me.

So for example, if my partner was controlling me, that meant they loved me. So, for example, if my partner was saying, you know, I love you so much, but you have to do this. I don't know why I thought that was a form of love, but the controlling aspect almost made me feel safe. It was like, oh, they want my best interest. So, they're trying to get me to do this and they're trying to get me to do this and they're trying to make me a certain way because they love me and they have my best interest at heart. And sometimes that's the case.

Like sometimes, you know, our partner wants us, does want the best for us and wants to see us improve and grow and whatever. But I don't know. There was always this like possessiveness that came with my relationships where I felt like my partner was a little bit possessive over me. And it made me feel safe.

But as the years went on, I realized I felt very smothered. I felt very controlled. And when I got out of that relationship, I suddenly realized that you shouldn't be with someone that's constantly trying to shape you into someone that you're not. And you shouldn't be with someone who's trying to make you a person that they want you to be. You should be accepted exactly as you are. If you're not being accepted exactly as you are in a relationship, that's not your soulmate.

If you're not being accepted for the beautiful person that you are when you get into that relationship and this person is trying to control and change pieces of you over time, that's not true love. True love is not control. True love is freedom, which ties back to the first point. Our souls want to be free and to be ourselves. We deserve to be ourselves because one, I say this on every episode, but life really is short. And you should be living for yourself. You shouldn't be living for what your partner wants you to be. So just taking that and realizing that and recognizing that during this experience changed me so much because I had always been in relationships where I felt like my partner

was trying to change who I was. And I'm guilty of this too. I would find these flaws in my partner after getting into a relationship with them. And I wasn't comfortable with certain things that they were doing or certain pieces of them. And I would try to shift them and change them and manipulate them into doing things for my best interest when it wasn't really for their best interest. It goes both ways. And it's easy to do this when you're in a relationship with someone. It's very common. But after this experience, I just, I really started to think about it. And I was like, wow, a true soulmate will fully accept me as I am. And I will accept them as they are. And true love is unconditional. And we shouldn't be constantly trying to manipulate and change each other.

The next note, a happy relationship for me is full of fun, freedom, and adventure. So I also want to include that that should be a healthy relationship as well. A happy and healthy relationship should be free and fun and filled of adventures. Some people are okay with doing nothing and that is totally fine. I know so many people who are happy with sitting on the couch watching a movie together, making dinner, and spending time together. That is literally so healthy and amazing. And I sometimes I do find that really fun. And I've done that plenty of times with my romantic partners. But I want someone that pushes me out of my comfort zone and shows me things that I've never seen before. I want someone that takes me on

adventures in life. That is my ideal type of partner. We all have different needs and wants in our relationships. That is the biggest priority for me. And just kind of realizing that when I was going through this, adventure and freedom to me and fun, just having so much fun is so much more important to me than other qualities. Because who doesn't want to have fun with someone? I think that word fun is overlooked a little bit when it comes to, oh, what do you want in a partner? I never used to say fun. I used to just say, oh, I hope they're nice.

I hope they treat me well. I hope, you know, they're good looking. Like I would say these basic qualities, but fun. I've never really thought about until I was on mushrooms and I don't know why that word just kept sticking with me as I kept writing down notes. Just having so much fun with your person. Take me to Dave and Busters. I don't know. Okay, that was a silly example. I don't know. Just take me on adventures. And I want to be, I want to take you on adventures

too. Like I just want to experience the world and experience life together in such a fun and exciting way. I think it's just a really interesting thing to touch on because a lot of times my relationships, they stopped being fun. They were fun for like one month and then after like the one month mark, things just slowly started to go downhill all the time where I felt like it was a burden. It wasn't fun. It was work.

It was so much work. And it's not to say that relationships don't take any work. I understand that we all go through ups and downs in relationships and it's not always going to be fun 100% of the time But for the most part I think it should be fun I want to dance around with my partner and the kitchen for no fucking reason and be happy for no reason all the time I just want to be happy and be Have a good time with the person that I'm with and More often than not I would be in relationships that would suck the life out of me

I wasn't having fun. In my last few relationships, they were not fun. They were work. They were stressful. And especially being still young, I'm still in my 20s, I don't think it was for my best interest to stay in those relationships because none of them were actually really fun after a certain period of time. They were really stressful. And I think that's why I put such an emphasis on this note in my phone, like have fun with your person. Like your soulmate, you're gonna have the best fucking time. So the next note that I wrote in my phone is,

it's okay to be vulnerable and release emotions because that is part of human nature and being emotional is a beautiful thing. Those words, it gives me chills because I remember writing this as I was going through this experience and I was so scared to cry prior to this experience. I tend to bottle things in. I tend to hold in my emotions and I try to keep it together and I don't show people this really deep and dark side of me.

I guess when I'm super emotional, I've always associated that with being weak. And when I was going through this experience, I just felt, why, like, what's the point of holding everything together all the time? It's okay to not be strong. Whatever your definition of strong is, my definition of strong was not showing emotion. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be vulnerable and show your emotions and feelings to other humans

because the right people in your life will support you through your hard times. And I was always afraid I think if I showed my emotions to the wrong people, they would think I'm just weak and they wouldn't take me seriously. And I don't know. I was never very emotional in front of anyone. The only people I would really show emotions in front of were my boyfriends, but everyone

else, like my parents, I don't think I ever really, I would cry in front of them at times, but I rarely showed this like warm emotional side of me because I was guarded, I was protected, I had these like huge walls up kind of blocking my tears from coming out at all times. So I just realized throughout this experience that being vulnerable and being open about your emotions is so healthy. If you're constantly storing your emotions in your body,

it can manifest as physical illness. So, and I truly, truly believe this without a doubt, the more you store and the more trauma you carry with you in your body, it can manifest into illness and disease. And I've had a lot of physical complications. Even when I was younger growing up, I had a lot of different like hormonal issues and I've suffered with depression and anxiety since I'm young. So I really feel like letting all of the emotion out and being more expressive and being patient with yourself and being emotional is so healthy and it's human and there's no shame in it and there's nothing wrong with it. And after realizing that,

I kind of felt this new sense of warmth in my body, and I released so many toxic energies from my body. I felt so different walking out of this experience. I felt like my heart was just warm. And I was just an entirely different compassionate, empathetic, more sensitive human being. And I'm like, oh, maybe this is what, like, my soul's purpose really is,

like, to be kind and compassionate, not be afraid to show that side of myself. I think I was also afraid to show my kindness and compassion towards other because I was easily taken advantage of in a lot of situations, growing up if I was showing kindness towards someone, they wouldn't reciprocate. Or I felt rejected. And I felt like I wasn't pretty enough to fit in with any sort of group, like a popular group in my high school.

And I felt I was kind of always on the outside watching everyone else. So I was afraid that maybe my kindness was mistaken for weakness all the time. So I never showed, I never showed these sides of me. I never showed that empathetic warm side of me in the way that I wanted to because I was afraid of being taken advantage of all the time. But as I've got an older and also just going through this experience and really thinking

about it, I know that the right people will appreciate my kindness. I know the right people will appreciate my true self and my heart. And it's okay to be me. It's okay to be kind and give love and show how great of a person I am to other people. And if they don't reciprocate, then they're just not going to be a part of your life anymore. It's okay to let people go in order for you to let the right people in. part of your life anymore. It's okay to let people go in order for you to let the right people in. And I don't know, like something in this whole statement of being able to just allow myself to be

vulnerable and be myself has truly changed me. The next note that I wrote, it's okay to let go of him in order for you to evolve and become the highest version of yourself. So this was obviously post-breakup I was referring to my ex-boyfriend that I was still holding onto. I had such a hard time letting go of the relationship and what I thought it could be versus what it actually was. I was always replaying memories. I had deleted all the pictures of us off of my phone, but I still had his face in my head. It was the most vivid memories or I would have dreams about us, still being together. It was so hard for me to shake this man from my brain.

And when I was going through this experience, I just wrote this in my notes because I think part of it was that I was always afraid to let go of him because one, I feared I would never find anything remotely close to the connection we had ever again. And two, I was afraid to step into my power, which is, now that I'm saying that out loud, that just gave me chills again. I was afraid to step into my power because I knew that once I let go of this deep connection

because I knew it was going to serve my higher good and I knew I was going to eventually evolve into my higher self from once I healed from the breakup, I was almost afraid to meet that person. I was afraid that I was afraid to step into the woman that I was really supposed to be the strongest version of myself and the strongest most healed version of myself. Because I had been this, I won't say weak, I don't want to say the word weak, but I had been this version of myself for a very long time for most of my life that was so afraid of being alone. I was so afraid of not having anyone next to me. And I had carried that identity with me

for pretty much my entire life up until that point. And I was so scared to take that leap into the unknown of saying, okay, are you actually going to be okay without anyone for a while? These questions would plague my mind because I was so used to having a boyfriend and a relationship or partner. But in this moment, while I was going through this experience, I realized that I needed to let go in order to evolve into that higher person, so I could show up for myself and really use it in a way where I can help other people. The podcast, all these ideas and all these episodes

and everything, like I would, if I hadn't gone through this experience, I wouldn't be able to share my wisdom and my knowledge with everyone else. Like I am so grateful that I went through some of the shittiest shit to be able to help other people now. If I hadn't let go of everything in my past and I hadn't cleared out all of these traumatic

situations and evolved and stepped into my new identity, I wouldn't be able to be here today and talking into this microphone. Everything really does happen for a reason. able to be here today and talking into this microphone. So it just, everything really does happen for a reason. Everything is truly connected. And I think just trusting that and understanding that even though you're going through a really difficult time in the moment, it's all temporary. It's all going to be temporary because eventually it's going to lead you to a better place. Eventually it's going to lead you to the right place. And if you truly believe that and you envision your higher self and you envision her and who

you want that person to be, and you truly believe that everything is going to be better for you, and this is just like a learning lesson and a bump in the road, it really does change you. And for me, this statement of just, you have to let him go in order for you to evolve is so powerful. And I hope that really helps some of you who are currently struggling with letting go of a partner or letting go of someone in your life.

I always refer to romantic partners because I know breakups can be like the most challenging, but even if it's a friendship because I know people suffer with this in their friendships, letting go of a best friend, letting go of someone that you spent 15 years of your life with, letting go of family ties, where you were super close with your parents, but things shifted and it became a toxic environment

so you know you have to distance yourself. Like there's so many ways to apply this, but letting go of what no longer serves you in order to evolve to your higher self is such a powerful thing. And I really reflected on this while I was on mushrooms, no longer serves you in order to evolve to your higher self is such a powerful thing. And I really reflected on this while I was on mushrooms. And it was beautiful to like really just dive into this and really understand that the universe will not take away anything that's truly supposed to be there.

So this fear of letting go is just a fear. It's just your thoughts. And you're always going to be guided to something better. I also wrote in my notes that helping other women heal is a part of my life path. And I didn't have the podcast at the time. So it's funny reading this because I'm like, oh my god, like that's what I'm doing right now. So that's pretty wild.

But just helping other people heal, I think I've always had that innately in me. I've always wanted to help other people, but I didn't know really how to do it and how to navigate it, so I could reach millions of people. So when I was working as a travel blogger, don't get me wrong, those experiences were incredible, super grateful that I went through all of that, and I had that as a career for a long time, but I don't remember feeling a sense of fulfillment as far as connecting with other people. I was fulfilling myself by going on trips and experiencing the world and I think I could bring a lot of my experiences into my knowledge and share it with other people, which is cool. But I think if you have a voice and you have a lot of wisdom,

you should be utilizing it and helping people. Because a lot of people do need help at times. And I know I've been there. I was the one in the position who needed the help. And I was looking for mentors and guides and coaches to get me through some really difficult times. So I know it's almost an obligation for me to be helping other

women and helping other people, even if it's men too. Like I don't really care, it's just knowing that I can make a positive difference and impact and help other people is super significant. And it was a big wake up call for me. I just think it's also, I didn't realize how much I actually knew and how much I could actually help and I doubted my own abilities to help. But over time and just going through this experience, I became more aware of my abilities and how it was important for me to take that into my career and into my line of work. So that was really interesting.

There were a lot of other notes in here. I didn't realize how many things I wrote down. I'm going to save part two for a brand new episode. And I'm actually going to have the woman who guided me through the mushrooms on the podcast at some point. So I'm going to create an entirely new episode for part two. and there's just so much to cover, and it's just so beautiful, and I'm so excited to share more. I hope all of you love today's episode.

I think it was really important for me to share all my takeaways from this experience with Silasai Ben. I'm really grateful I went through everything I went through because it brought me here to this podcast. So yeah, stay tuned for part two. Thank you so much for listening and have an amazing day.