Date Yourself Instead - IF YOU TRULY LOVE SOMEONE, LET THEM GO (Why love is freedom + The POWER of divine timing) - lessons from Bali

Episode Date: May 12, 2024

Hello from Bali! In this episode, I cover why trusting your intuition and trust in your higher self is always the best way to go when exploring a relationship that keeps you feeling stuck. I also dive into this concept of what true love really means to me and why excepting someone for who they are is the definition of love to me. I also explore the concept of freedom and how freedom ties into true, authentic love. I love you, as always, if you feel called to send me a message on Instagram @lyss @dateyourselfinstead, I'm always here. x JOIN MY MASTERCLASS DARE TO DETACH Use code "selflove" for a discount, I'd love to have you. We have an amazing community focused on self love, empowerment and detaching from toxic relationships.

I used to fall for everything and ignore my intuition and ignore my gut. It was so easy for me to believe someone because I wanted to see that they were honest. I wanted to believe that they were honest and truthful. And when you are truly deeply in love with someone, you want to take them at face value and you want to trust them and you want to believe that they would never hurt you or lie to you. So whenever I would have a weird gut feeling or I was tapping into my intuition, I was like something is off, something is not sitting right with me.

I would allow people to talk myself out of that intuitive feeling. I would allow people to convince me that I was illogical or crazy or that I wasn't seeing things clearly. And if there's anything I learned recently, especially over the last month, is that the vibes never lie. Your intuition is never wrong and especially if you're a woman, and you're very emotionally tapped in and you feel very spiritual, and deep down, you know that something's off, it's off, okay, regardless of what it is, you have to lean into that feeling and listen to it and listen to that inner voice telling you things. things, because people will try to convince you out of it. And people who aren't on the same vibrational wavelength as you will try to convince you out of your inner voice and your intuition. I've made episodes on this before too as well,

but your body will physically react if something is off in a relationship, your body will scream at you and speak to you and you can actually manifest illness and I was speaking to a Tarot card reader yesterday. I did a reading on the beach. It was so amazing and she was telling me how If you keep ignoring that inner voice and that higher self and your soul, you know trying to ignoring that inner voice and that higher self and your soul, you know, trying to communicate with you and give you information about a situation. If you keep ignoring that, it will start manifesting as physical illness.

And your body will start like yelling at you physically. If you're not listening to it mentally. And that really resonated with me because I've manifested so many physical symptoms when I was in toxic patterns and cycles and relationships that were unexplainable. For example, I was getting sinus infections and getting high fevers and I was literally bedridden every time a specific person had showed up in my life again. It happened for years. Another situation is I had ovarian cysts on my ovaries throughout several toxic cycles and patterns with people and they immediately went away when I ended those

cycles. Other things that have happened to me have been you know just stress, anxiety, heart palpitations. I had to go get an EKG for those of you who know what that is, who have had that before. It's like a heart scan to make sure your heart is actually functioning properly. I've had all of these crazy things happen to me when I wasn't tapping into my higher self and when I wasn't honoring her and I think it's just super important to touch on that as well because your body knows your intuition is valid and if this is your you know sign to trust that and

tap into it more that's incredible. So basically when I was in Australia recently, I had a situation happen that gave me a ton of anxiety. I couldn't sleep. I was sleeping two hours a night. I was having chest pain. I was having vivid, vivid nightmares. And I had a group of women around me that ended up becoming my close friends and they were all listening to me talk about this and say you know I don't feel

well something's off and they were like maybe you know it is tied to this person that you're in contact with and I was in denial a little bit but at the same time I was like you you know what? Something isn't right. And I've been ignoring it for a very long time and maybe now it's manifesting physically. Lo and behold, I found out that that's exactly what happened and it was because I hadn't listened to my higher self communicating with me.

And that higher self was saying, this isn't a good situation, this isn't a good situation, this isn't a good person to have around and you need to remove yourself. On the other end of things, I had this person convincing me that I was crazy. So for me, I was, you know, trying to justify it and say, you know what, maybe, maybe I'm overthinking things or maybe I'm wrong.

Because once again, when you're a good person with a good heart, you want to see the potential in someone you want to believe that they're honest, you want to believe that they have your best interest at heart. So you will do anything to see the good you will do anything to justify their behavior and you'll do anything to ignore your intuition because you're like I don't want to believe that this person would do something to hurt me I don't want to believe that the situation is wrong for me because I see the potential in how good it could be and I see the potential in you know this person. But I do feel like it's worth really

honoring how you truly feel and not taking you know people at face value sometimes because your heart and your soul and your higher self knows a lot more in the 5d than you do in the 3D and then that person and more than that person does. And when you truly tap into that and listen to it, the truth will always be revealed. And that's also tied into what happened to me and why I'm in Bali right now. So there's a lot going on in this episode. There's a lot going on that I have to share and

discuss with you guys. It's definitely going to be a process for me to fully open up about everything but I do want to you know bring up this point of just trusting yourself like truly tapping into that and honoring how powerful you are. You are so magnetic, you are so powerful, you are so smart and you're so, you know, if you are tapped in and you know that you're connected to a higher power and you know that, you know, you have a good heart and you have pure intentions, your higher self is never going to let you down and you can continue to ignore her and ignore that voice that's telling you you know whatever it is you might not want to hear

it right now but it's never wrong, she's never wrong. She's never wrong So yeah, if you are feeling Doubtful or unsure about a situation and you're scared to trust your intuition. I have a Secret method that I do that's also a part of my master class, dare to detach. And it's something that I live by. It's something that I do all the time to help me feel more secure in myself and more confident in my decision making and trusting myself. I want you to write in your notes, in your phone, I am always divinely protected and guided. I am always being guided and divinely protected and

truly believe that with all your heart that the universe or the higher power that you believe in is always guiding you and protecting you and the truth will always be revealed. And when you write affirmations like that in your notes, what you're doing is you're telling your subconscious that you are protected and you are being guided and your subconscious is what drives you know your reality and what shows up in your reality is defined by what's actually being stored in your subconscious so a lot of the times our subconscious will block things if we're feeling like

we're in a toxic situation other people can block us from seeing the truth and revealing the truth and having the truth be revealed to us. So when you do this, truly believe it with all your heart that you are being protected. Write it in your notes or you could, you know, speak to whatever God you believe in or if you have like some angels guiding you,

whatever it is, just saying like, I am being divinely protected at all times. The universe is going to reveal to me the truth and what I need to see. And it'll reveal to me the truth so I could heal in new ways and up level and upgrade my timeline and my life because I deserve abundance. I deserve peace and I deserve happiness. And once you really commit to making that a practice, writing it in your notes, the truth will always be revealed. I am currently in Bali, Indonesia right now, and I did not plan on coming to Bali at all. This was very spontaneous. This was a decision I made very

last minute. I had something pretty intense and dramatic happen to me about a week ago and I'm still I'm still processing everything. I feel like Bali has been calling me for the last four years but I never actually ended up making it here and for good reason. I had a tarot card reading yesterday and something the reader said to me really, really resonated. And she was saying how Bali calls you at the perfect time when you are ready to heal and your soul is calling you at a higher level and your physical body doesn't really know why you're going, but your soul actually calls you to go when the timing is perfect. And when you're actually ready to heal and up level and transform your life in a

totally new way. And that really resonated with me during the reading because last year I had booked a flight here and I was literally at the airport and I was handing my luggage to be checked in to like the desk and I had a panic attack at the airport. I suddenly like talked myself out of going to Bali. I had my trip booked, I had everything planned, I had a whole like list of things to do when I got here. I had booked my hotel and when I was at the airport I started getting really bad anxiety and I remember my intuition was just screaming at me in that moment.

It was like this moment of panic and fear where I was like, wait, I don't think I should be going to Bali right now. It just doesn't feel aligned. It doesn't feel like the right timing for some reason, but I couldn't logically explain why I was so anxious about it. And I ended up calling my dad and I told my dad what was going on in the airport. I like ran to the back of the line, grabbed my luggage and I was like am I about to cancel my entire trip and my dad said to me and I loved this advice and I carry it with me all the time he

Said if it's not a full-body. Yes, if you're not 1000% sure When you're in doubt Get out like when you're in doubt don't make the decision right now you're in doubt, get out. Like when you're in doubt, don't make the decision right now. You can make the decision later, but if it, if it just feels like it's not aligned, then don't go. And so I walked out of the airport. I never ended up going to Bali. I ended up booking a flight to London instead, and it all happened for a reason. Now, if you listen to my, how to really date yourself instead episode on date yourself instead You will hear that whole saga of how I went to London how I found myself how I was on this solo

Trip to just have fun and enjoy my time while I was there. I made so many friends I had a whole little life in London and it was so special and it all happened in divine timing and now I've officially finally made it to Bali for real this time. And I felt like it was just a divine calling that I needed to be here. That being said, I have experienced something related to love and my relationship life that was severely traumatic about, I would say maybe 10 days ago. So I'm still processing everything. It's going to be an entirely

different episode in itself. I'm not going to talk about what happened because I'm honestly not fully ready to speak of the matter. Because it's something that's still fresh. And it's because I'm honestly not fully ready to speak of the matter because it's something that's still fresh and it's something that I'm still healing and navigating. However, I will say that that experience is actually what propelled me to book the flight and come here. And I do believe that everything happens in divine timing,

everything happens for a reason. And the universe will align you with a perfect situation and circumstances when the time is right. And that's why I'm here. So on today's episode, I just wanted to preface it with that little background story of how I ended up in Bali right now. But this episode is going to cover this concept that I've learned recently from that experience, which is about love and what it really means to be in love and what it really means to love someone else

and what healthy love should feel like. If anything, the experience I just went through taught me that love is all about freedom and love is all about tapping into that version of you that is free and that is in a place of acceptance and in a place of true unconditional love where you're not trying to control, you're not trying to manipulate, you're not trying to force someone to see your value, you're not trying to force someone to be someone they're not. True love is freedom. True love is acceptance of someone else and acceptance of yourself and understanding that

if someone doesn't want to be with you, you cannot manipulate or force that. If someone is saying that they cannot commit to you, if someone is saying that they don't feel that you're the right person for them, by you trying to control the outcome of that, that is not love. It goes the same way if someone's trying to control you or manipulate the situation in their favor to be with you true love is about acceptance and understanding that the right person Will make you better the right person will inspire you to grow the right person will support your soul's calling and It will feel good. It will feel healthy and aligned. So if you're currently in a dynamic right

now where you feel constantly like you're not the best version of yourself or like you're not good enough or you're not worthy and you wake up every day feeling sad or stuck or anxious, this is an episode that I want you to revisit and understand that you deserve more and true love isn't going to make you question who you are. True love isn't going to make you feel like you're not enough. And over the last several years, the situation I was in was blinding and it was a situation that was very on and off and it made me feel like I constantly was not good enough. It made me feel like no matter what I did, there was always something wrong with me and who I was.

And looking back, because now I'm fully out of that situation I've come to understand that love is freedom and I'm literally going to title this episode love is freedom because that's the whole theme of what we're going to be discussing so while I was going through the midst of this traumatic situation I had someone discuss the midst of this traumatic situation, I had someone discuss the concept of love with me that really opened my eyes and I wanted to share what they said to me because it was really, really powerful. They were talking about how love can be manifested in various ways, right? There's manic love, which is like when someone goes absolutely crazy for you and they're almost obsessed with you in this like passionate controlling type of way where they literally

do these extreme things to cater to you. They make their whole life about you and they go to these like insane lengths to almost like overcompensate like for something and I'll give you a kind of weird example but if you ever heard of that story where Vincent van Gogh like chopped a piece of his ear off and mailed it to his girlfriend because he was so manic and so crazy in love with her and he like couldn't be with her physically so he literally cut a piece of his ear off put it in an envelope and sent it to her. I heard that story years ago and like it never I never forgot it because I was like that is so manic and love can be like that and as I was having this conversation with this person they were explaining it

to me and it made perfect sense. They're like, love can be manic. It could be this up and down toxic cycle. It could be this roller coaster. It could be this emotional chaos where you feel like you cannot live without this person and you cannot sleep or breathe without this person. And you're doing everything you can to like stay away from them, but you're just like addicted chemically to this person. Right's that type of love which in my opinion now i'm like that's like not real love that's not authentic true unconditional love that's like crazy obsessed love and then there's healthy grounded stable love where you have a mutual respect for each other you give each other space and independence you give each other that feeling of freedom, and you're able to tap into your higher self and

be your own self and love yourself deeply while you're next to another person. That person is complimenting you in healthy ways, that person is uplifting you and inspiring you to be better every day. And it's not this like passionate, controlling obsession feeling. It's a very calm grounded feeling. And after having this discussion, I realized that all of my past relationships have been this sense of manic love.

Obviously not to the extreme of someone like chopping their ear off for me. But the point is it was never healthy because there was always this obsession tied to my partner where like it was very codependent, right? We couldn't go a day without texting each other all day, every day, getting anxious if the other person didn't reply, getting anxious if the other person went out

and did their own thing. It was always this like toxic up and down energy where we just felt like we needed each other's attention and validation at all times. And I think especially, especially as of recently, I've stepped into this new timeline where I've realized that all of my relationships have not been true, authentic, healthy love. And it's a beautiful realization. It's not something I regret. I don't regret any of my past experiences with anyone. And

I think I'm so grateful for all of the lessons I've learned through my dating life. However, I've come to realize as of recently that I don't know, and this is a really bold thing to say and It might be a little weird to say it out loud But I don't know if I've ever been in true love because I think you can't be Truly truly deeply in love with someone if you're constantly trying to Manipulate and control them. I just don't think those things go hand in hand. And I think with most of my relationship dynamics, there's always been a sense of, you know, power plays or control or manipulation in order to get that person to love me more,

in order to get that person to see my value, to see my worth. And maybe that's what love was to me at the time and that version of me accepted that as love but now looking back and seeing how far I've come with myself and myself love and myself growth I've realized that that isn't what love is to me. Love is freedom. Love is acceptance and love is seeing someone and understanding that regardless of the decisions that they make in their life and regardless of what they're doing you're going to love them no matter what. So for example there was that I met last year that didn't want to commit to me.

And at the time I remember my ego just feeling really like bruised and hurt because I was like, I see the potential, like I see the connection with this person and I think it could be really, really good. But once again again it's not your job or anyone's job to force something to happen if that person is saying with their free will I don't want to date you like I don't want to be with you so at first I reacted in a really passionate way I guess you could define it as passionate because I just cared. I like cared so

much and I was like I want this person in my life, um, but they didn't want to be in a relationship, which is looking back valid and it's fine and once again you cannot force someone to be with you. So at the time I was hurt but looking back at the situation I was like, So at the time I was hurt, but looking back at the situation, I was like, it's no one's fault. Like what they want out of their life, they can't control how they feel in this moment. If they don't want to be with me, it has nothing to do with me. It's no one's fault. There's no reason to be angry. There's no reason to, you know, get angry with someone or upset with someone just because they don't want the same things that you want, it's their journey, right? Everyone has their own decisions to make in this lifetime. And if they're coming from a place of like good intention and they are a good person, you can't get mad at someone for not choosing to be with you, right?

Because if you truly love them and you truly want what's best for them, you will set them free and trust that what's meant to be will be and trusting the process of that, you know dynamic is Challenging because It might hurt right it might hurt because you love that person but if you really do love them, I truly believe in this concept of if you love someone set them free because Maybe that will be what it takes for them to realize they also want to set them free because maybe that will be what it takes for them to realize they also want to be with you or maybe that will you know set you on a totally different path that you didn't expect and you'll align with the right

person. So back to the situation. I got to a place of acceptance and I suddenly understood that loving that person would mean letting them go and letting them just be happy without me, with or without me. It doesn't matter if they want to be with me, it doesn't matter if they, you know, don't want to be with me. What matters is that I'm allowing them to be who they are, I'm accepting the situation as it is, and I'm willing to walk away and set them free.

And I think that was my first taste at what real love feels like because I just wanted what was best for that person regardless if they wanted to be with me or not. And was it easy? No. Was it, you know, just like one day I woke up and I was like, whatever, like, it's all good. I'm going to move on now outcome. Like I'm so at peace knowing that like what's meant to be will truly be and there's no reason to get so caught up in this like toxic web of emotions where you're like oh my god why don't they want to be with me? Why don't they care about me? Am I not good enough? Am I not worthy enough? And you know to beat yourself up over someone not loving you or wanting to be with you,

it's just never worth it. It's never, you know, it's never worth it because you're also blocking yourself from aligning with the right people and situations if you're constantly internalizing everything other people do to you or everything other people say to you. It's important to just understand that you're on your own journey and the universe will align you with the right circumstances and people in divine timing if it's truly meant for you. And once you really ingrain that in your soul, nothing can really shake you or rock you or emotionally get to you the way that it would normally get to you. And as I said back to this

concept of true love is about freedom, letting someone go if they choose that they want to take a different path is also freeing you. You're not just freeing them, you're freeing yourself because you're opening yourself up to a whole new timeline and a whole new realm of possibilities. If that person is saying you know what I don't think this is right then there has to be another timeline of possibilities where there are people that will find you incredible and special and people that want you around and people that accept you and want you in their life. When I went through this really intense traumatic situation 10 days ago, I initially was in

such a state of shock and disbelief that it like really rocked me for a couple days. I was like a total emotional mess and I felt really, I felt really lost. I was just like, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what to do with this information. This is really rattling me. And then I woke up one morning and I chose acceptance I

chose acceptance in the sense of This is what happened now. I have two decisions to make I could either dwell in the pain I could dwell in the trauma and I can you know ruin the next six months of my life and I can, you know, ruin the next six months of my life, replaying the past, asking myself, why did this happen to me? You know, victimizing myself and being like, why me? Why me? Why me? Because why me is like such a common thought when you're going through something really dark, because you're like, what, what did I do to deserve this? Right? But when you come to a place of acceptance about something really bad that's happened to you, especially

when it's someone else in your life that has hurt you, the one person you thought would never hurt you in your life. When you come to a place of peace with that, and you say, you know what the other direction I can take and the other path I can go down is acceptance and peace with the situation. It happened. It's over now. I know I deserve better. I know I'm worthy of real love. I know I'm worthy of, you know, so much abundance and peace and I don't deserve to be treated

this way. The universe will reward you for tapping into that path. And that's exactly what I chose to do. I woke up and I was like, I'm done. Like I am done grieving. I am done replaying the past. What's done is done. This is what's, you know, this is a blessing in disguise. This is now my life and I choose to accept what happened and now I choose to set myself free and take this new path of the unknown but I'm going to allow it to be exciting, I'm going to allow it to be freeing, and I'm going to allow it to inspire me to be a better person and show up for people in a better way to help others in a better way.

I feel like now that I'm even sitting here and talking about it is going to you know hopefully be helpful to people while they're listening and watching this and it's just beautiful like you can look at something really painful as beautiful because it's teaching you more about yourself. It's teaching you more about where your soul needs to go and where it's being called to go. I never would have made it to Bali if that hadn't happened. Just being here in itself has been so rewarding.

I feel like even in a week, so much can happen and shift and change and I've met so many amazing people here already I've felt very expansive I felt new doors have opened in just such a short window of time because I'm allowing it in You have to allow the good to come in and I think that's where a lot of people get stuck too. It's like You get so blocked by toxicity and relationships that aren't meant for you and people that aren't meant for you and you allow them to block you from abundance and that's what I was doing for so many years of my life. I was allowing people to block me from my blessings because people can energetically keep you stuck. I talk about this a lot on the podcast.

If you've been listening for a while, you know that I've made several comments about this. People will keep you energetically blocked and stuck if they're not meant for you. If you're holding on and clinging on to someone that's not right for you, or you're clinging onto a toxic situation that's not aligned with your higher self,

you're going to be blocking miracles, abundance, and blessings from coming into your life. It's just factual. Everything is energy and people's energy can keep you in this state of fear. They can keep you from living out, you know, your truest purpose and your higher self and it's calling. And when I had officially decided I was done,

I was done with this situation, it felt like I had shifted dimensions. It felt like I had quantum leaped into a new reality. And I did. It wasn't new reality. And I did. It wasn't just a feeling, I did. I feel like I'm in a totally different place than I was 10 days ago. And I feel like the light being like brought back into my life.

I didn't realize that there was this dark energy over my life for so many years. And it's something that I was scared to talk about. It was something that I was afraid to vocalize openly and I don't think I could have ever because I was so stuck and so blinded on this other dimension, like in this other dimension, which was much lower than the dimension I'm in right now, where I felt like I could only see so far.

Like I couldn't really see my future the way I see it now. It felt like I was always being clouded. It felt like I couldn't reach my highest potential. It felt like I was always stuck. And for those of you who are feeling stuck right now, you'll probably resonate with this. It's like you feel so clouded, like you could almost see in the distance your higher self is like calling for you, but you don't know how to get there. Like you don't know how to get to the next level of your life. And you're like

in this wavering, like stuck energy where you're like, I don't know the next steps to take. in this wavering, like stuck energy where you're like, I don't know the next steps to take. But it's interesting, once you make that brave step to cut out who's not good for you, to cut out what's not good for you, how quickly the veil will be lifted off of your eyes and you could see crystal clear. I was literally sitting with one of my friends

that I met in Sydney. We were getting coffee and it was a new friendship. I met her fairly recently but we just had this like insane soul friendship connection. Like I feel like I've known her in past lifetimes and we're sitting getting coffee and we were discussing this concept of like cleansing our energy, trusting in the process and healing and really like manifesting. And as we were both talking, we were like looking at each other directly in the eyes. And I promise you, both of us at the same time said,

did the world just get clearer? Like, did your vision just sharpen? It looked as if the world around us, like we were in this vortex energetically together just having this deep conversation and around us like it felt like the colors actually started to get brighter. Like the sky got brighter, like the way I was looking at her just like her eyes got brighter and everything sharpened it felt like someone had lifted an actual veil off of my eyes and it was such a powerful moment because I do believe this might sound a little far-fetched but I I truly do believe that physically your body can become your vision can become cloudy when you're around toxic energies and people.

Like the world kind of seems duller. And we were both going through similar situations with people in our lives that did not see our value and were pulling our energy down. And we were both bonding over that. And once we were in this discussion, we immediately felt like this clarity together. And it we were in this discussion, we immediately felt like this clarity together. And it was such a powerful, powerful moment that I literally will never

forget. The other thing I want to mention is something kind of funny, but it's also my truth and I want to speak on it because maybe some of you can relate. So it's this concept of the people around you, whether it's friends or family, knowing what's best for you before you do because I'm very stubborn, okay? Like I'm very set in my ways. If I love someone I'm gonna go all in with them regardless of what anyone else around me is telling me. If someone's giving me advice about my relationship, I'm like, I don't wanna hear it. If I'm happy, I'm happy.

But sometimes the people around you that love you the most and that are close to you do know what's best for you. And a lot of my friends were supportive of my past relationships and any decisions that I've made. And my best friends, they always have my back. and it's all you could really do, right? If you see your friend is technically happy on the surface, you're not going to want to interfere and say, you know, you shouldn't be with this person or you shouldn't pursue this relationship.

If you see that they're happy and they are saying that they're happy, the best thing you could do is allow someone to make their own decisions. However, I wanted to cover this because it's kind of fascinating to me. Since day one, my dad has told me that he didn't approve of a certain situation. And he didn't approve of the person that I was seeing. And he told me many, many, many, many times, like, I do not support this. And I've never really heard him say that before.

And it was such a new dynamic with him where I felt like almost tense with my own dad because I was fighting so hard against his opinion and I didn't want to hear it. And I was tuning it out so deeply because I was so in love. And I would tell my dad like stop like stop getting involved in my life stop getting involved with my decision making this is my life and my journey which you know at the time I think I needed to go through the experience for myself I think people need to learn the lessons on their own regardless of what I'm about to say because the point being their own, regardless of what I'm about to say, because the point being, I think your dad is always right, like rule of thumb, I'm like, my dad's always right, looking back,

because he ended up being right about this situation and this person. But sometimes your soul and your, you know, you need to experience it for yourself. And it's just helpful to, I guess, have feedback from someone that really knows you and cares about you and wants what's best for you. Because my dad obviously wants what's best for his daughter. And I was so blinded and so immersed in something that I couldn't see the bigger picture.

And I couldn't see things because I was once again in that cloudy fog. because when you're so deeply in something that might be toxic, you can't really see past it. You can't really see the red flags the way that other people can that are close to you. And he had sent me many texts about this person. He had actually had an intervention with me at a point and said like,

I know what's best for you and this is not it. This is not the right situation for you. And I continued to block it out, tune it out, and I was very stubborn about it. And I fight for the people I love, you know. It's normal. But I did need to go through the experience to kind of have this revelation that, wow, like maybe my dad did know, maybe my dad did know best. And it's just interesting because I also say to everyone that you have to be ready to learn the lesson and leave, like you have to be actually ready to leave.

Nothing your friends will say, nothing your family will say to you is going to make you leave. You have to be ready to leave. Like your soul has to learn the lesson and remove itself when the timing is right for you. Otherwise you're just gonna end up going back to a toxic situation.

For example, if you see your friend really hurting over a person and in a really toxic relationship and you're giving them advice and saying break up with them, leave, get out, they might listen to you for that moment in time, but they're not going to act on it or actually end things until their soul is ready to do it officially. And if they do listen in the moment, but they don't feel ready to, they're gonna end up going back to that person because your soul, like no one else's,

it's your soul that has to be ready to leave. And I just never felt that my soul was ready to fully detach and leave. And as I said, I'm not going to hash into the details of anything that has happened, but I will say this. I eventually, when I am ready, will make a full separate episode on the generic overview of what has happened because I know it's going to help people and I know it's going to... it's definitely going to be something that can resonate with a lot of people that listen to date yourself instead.

But that's the thing about learning and growing and evolving is you truly have to be ready for it. You have to be ready for that up level. And I think the universe knows when you are ready. So if you are in a toxic situation right now, if you are in a really you know if you're in a relationship where you know the dynamic is an ideal and you know that you need to leave but you're not ready to, don't beat

yourself up over that and don't you know dwell on the fact that you're not immediately ending things because sometimes it just is a timing thing. Everything happens in divine timing and you have to be gentle with yourself and caring to yourself and forgive yourself for staying if, you know, you feel trapped. Because it's common, you know, but it is a timing thing and I do think that everything happens at the right timing and you will leave when you are ready to. And if this episode is your sign, if you're feeling more inspired and you're feeling like, you know, after this episode, you're ready to make that leap into your higher self and you're ready to tap into a brand new timeline and, you know, let go of anything toxic that's no longer serving you, then that's amazing and that's all I could

ever hope for. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode. Thank you as always for listening to Date Yourself Instead. If you haven't already, be sure to rate the podcast on Apple and Spotify. It would mean the world to me. And also share this episode with a friend if you're enjoying the podcast. Also be sure to check out my masterclass, Dear to Detach, it's all about detachment, stepping into your power and letting go of what's no longer serving you in your life. I love you, thank you as always for listening

and stay tuned for next Monday.