Date Yourself Instead - My plastic surgery journey + the honest truth (botox, fillers, rhinoplasty & more)

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

I've had so many questions about the cosmetic work I've had done, and this episode is dedicated to full transparency about all of the procedures I've tried, have done, and still currently do. JOIN MY MASTERCLASS DARE TO DETACH Doors open again soon, can't wait to see you there x If you loved this episode or have any more questions, always feel free to dm me @lyss @dateyourselfinstead.

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Date Yourself Instead. Today I got a very late start to the morning. I forgot I booked a session at 8 30 a.m. in New York City. I have a podcast studio here in SoHo and I've been recording here for the last year and a half. Pretty much most of my episodes have been here. But this morning I was just like chilling in my apartment, basically on my computer, having my coffee, and suddenly realized that I had a session. I was running so late, I literally was just like scrambling to get here.

So if I'm out of breath and I sound crazy, apologize. But today's episode, I had to think of on the spot because usually I come prepared and usually I have some notes, but today I don't because I forgot that I had a booking. So I was thinking on the way to the studio, what am I gonna talk about? And I realized that one of the most popular questions

recently I've been asked is, have I had plastic surgery done? Because I look a little different, I've been posting more stories, I've been posting some videos, and if you look at some of my old photos and then you compare them to my recent photos, there are some changes. I haven't really spoke about it publicly

because I don't know, for me, it's not that I have anything to hide. I'm pretty open about the work that I've had done. I have shared it on my Instagram stories before, but I wasn't really sure if it would ever be a topic on my podcast because it's really a dating-focused podcast. I'm like, I don't know if anyone would really be interested in hearing what I have to say about my plastic surgery journey, the cosmetic work I've had done, but I realized that most of you are women, most of you are fascinated by this stuff, and if you're not fascinated by it, this might not be the episode for you. You could always go back to my other episodes and play some of those. But on this particular one,

it's going to be really focused on my surgery journey and why I have chosen to do the procedures I've done. I'm going to tell you everything, like all the work I've had done, and just give you more insight and give you my overall perspective on surgery because I am a huge advocate for it. Like I have done it.

So I'm like, yeah, if you want to improve something, if you want to feel better, if you want to feel more confident in your body and your skin, whatever it is, go for it. And there's another side to it that is obviously a lot of people will be like, well, you should already feel beautiful regardless. You should already feel confident regardless before you go ahead and do anything. And I have mixed opinions on that because I've directly experienced it. So I'm going to share everything. I'm going to spill all the tea and you've got to stick with me because this isn't at all planned or scripted. I

have no notes. I'm just gonna go in and list out everything and tell you my my story. So first things first, what are all the things that I've had done? So I've done fillers and Botox on my face, and I've done it on my forehead, I've done it in my jaw, in my masseter muscle, I've done Botox on my forehead and my jaw. I've done a brow lift with Botox which lifts the eyebrows a little bit. I've done scalp Botox which kind of creates

an overall more lifted appearance of the face. I've also done a lip flip Botox which brings the upper lip a little bit closer to your nose to create the illusion of a more balanced face in general, but also it makes you look a little bit younger because I have a pretty wide space between my mouth and my nose. And some people will choose to do a lip lift surgery, which is actually like a legit surgical procedure. But I didn't want to do that. So I just do the Botox version, which doesn't last very long, to be honest, but I didn't want to do that. So I just do the Botox version,

which doesn't last very long to be honest, but I really like how it looks. And you could do it also as an alternative to lip filler because it brings your upper lip up a little bit. I also have done filler in my lips, and I've been doing filler in my lips for seven years, and I love the way it looks, but I always try to make it look as natural as possible. I don't go over the top with filler,

I usually do half a syringe in my upper and lower lip and oh my god I feel like I'm listing out so many things but it's really not that many things. When you go into the office, it takes like 20 minutes tops. So it's really not as big or crazy as it seems. And if you've done this type of work before, if you've done Botox, if you've done filler, once you get in there and they're like, oh, well maybe you should do a little bit more of this and maybe you should do a little bit more of that.

You're like, all right, whatever. For me, I know what I want to look like, and I know the results that I wanna see. So I usually trust the person that's doing my Botox and filler. And I'll be like, yeah, if you wanna add a little more here, a little more there, that's fine with me. The beauty about Botox and the beauty about filler

is that it's not permanent. So that's also when I first decided to start with this stuff. I knew going into it, if there was anything that I really didn't like, if there was anything that I wasn't really happy with, it wasn't a permanent change where it was like, oh my God, if I do this, I'm gonna destroy my face. I don't mess with face filler in general. The only filler I have is in my lips. I don't do under eye filler. I don't mess with face filler in general.

The only filler I have is in my lips. I don't do under eye filler. I don't do cheek filler. I don't do anything else in my face because I've heard horror stories of that filler shifting and moving around and looking lumpy and looking really uneven. And I never wanted to risk that and having like gross filler build up sitting under my skin on my face. Your face is precious. I care a lot about my skin and obviously the way my face looks.

So the only filler I've ever done is my lips. Everything else is just Botox. The way I've been able to slim my face down and slim my jaw down a lot is masseter muscle Botox. Now, masseter muscle Botox is basically there's two muscles, right? One each side of your face and it's basically like where you chew and it's where you can grind your teeth. Those are the muscles that make you grind your teeth and you use them for chewing, okay?

I hope I'm describing this right. But basically, as a kid growing up, I had a really bad problem with clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth at night, especially while I was sleeping. And I had a retainer, I had a night guard, and I was doing these like jaw exercises to help with my anxiety and just help me sleep better, but nothing was really working.

And I just felt like it was so annoying to keep up with a night guard. And I didn't really have any other solutions. This was like, I want to say this was seven or eight years ago. And when I moved to New York City, I got invited to a party and I was introduced to a dentist. Now I would love to have him on my podcast. He's one of my good friends. His name is Dr. Rubenstein. I go to him for everything tooth related. That was a weird choice of words, but he's my dentist.

Okay. Yeah. very basic information. I don't know why I said I go for him for everything tooth related, but you get the point. He is incredible. He's based in New York. His office is in Brooklyn and I go there every six months, I would say, and he does my cleanings. He does my whitening. He does everything, okay? And he does veneers. I don't have vene, he does everything, okay? And he does veneers. I don't have veneers, but he's just like a master at veneers and he's really well known. You can also look him up on Instagram, Dr. Rubenstein, okay? So shout out to him because he changed my life.

And I don't want to go too in depth because I want to have this conversation with him. Maybe I'll have him on the pod eventually. But he literally changed my life because he told me when he met me for the first time, he was like, you have a severe case of TMJ. Like I see your jaw. And at the time when I met him, my face was so wide and puffy, and my jaw was always so swollen and sore. And every time I would wake up in the morning, I would be clenching my jaw unintentionally in the middle of the night. So when I would wake up, I would be in pain

and I would have migraines and just really bad headaches from grinding my teeth while I was sleeping. And the night guard thing just wasn't doing it for me. And I was like, I don't know what to do, whatever. And he was like, you need to go get Botox in your masseter muscles right now. Like you, it's a game changer, just do it. And I was so scared initially

because it's your jaw, right? It's like these two big muscles on either side of your jaw. And I was like, that sounds like it's gonna be really painful and scary, especially cause I was already in pain. So I was like, I'm scared to inject anything in those parts of my face. But I ended up doing it pretty much out of desperation. And another benefit to it is that it slims the muscles there.

It shrinks the muscles there. So it creates this slimming effect on the lower part of your face. So I did it and no regrets. Over time, the first time I didn't see insane overnight results or anything like that. It takes a couple of weeks to kick in. But after doing it consistently every,

I would say four to five months, I cannot thank him enough for guiding me into doing that. My face looks so different. The before and after pictures, if I look back at my old self and see my face and how swollen it was, and then look at pictures of myself now, I'm like like this is

the craziest shit ever. I can't believe I didn't do this sooner. Obviously it's not for everyone and this episode isn't doctor approved and I'm not a doctor and I'm not anyone in the medical field so you need to go consult your own doctor and do your own research because I don't want to be telling you what to do and then get in trouble. But honestly, do your research. If you have TMJ, which is a very common thing or so I've heard, I didn't realize how common it actually was, but this thing where you're just clenching and grinding your teeth all the time and it's causing a lot of tension and problems.

Go do your research and find a doctor that specializes in TMJ or Botox, and see what options there are because honestly, it really did change my life. I never grind my teeth anymore, my face looks snatched, and I just, I love it. The next thing is which is gonna be pretty much the focus of this episode or like the core of this episode because this is the biggest procedure I had done. I recently went to

Turkey by myself on a nice little solo trip for my birthday and treated myself to a rhinoplasty, aka a nose job. So I've been wanting a nose job for my whole life and I hated my nose. My nose was crooked. I had breathing problems. It looked really bad in pictures and videos. And it was literally off center. And I just had so many problems and complications.

I was getting chronic infections and I had trouble sleeping. And there were just so many things going on with my breathing, which really pushed me to finally pull the trigger and go to Turkey. I also had a bone deformity. I found out when I got there and my doctor was giving me a consultation, he was putting stuff up my nose and looking, and he's like, you have something literally blocking the entire right side of your nose. It's a bone deformity.

So I need to reconstruct your entire nose from scratch. I was like, oh, okay. He's like, you're going to look the same, like I'm going to make it look natural, but we're really actually going to reconstruct everything internally because this isn't going to work. You're not breathing correctly. I was like, oh, okay, cool. So I did the surgery in January, this past January,

and I tried to keep it under the radar because I wanted to see the results before I started talking about it and making it a thing. Oh my God, there's trucks blaring their fucking horns outside. Sorry if you heard that. But it was a thing that I had wanted to do for years and it was bothering me so much to the point where I literally got to the point where I was taking

so many pictures of my face on a daily basis and getting depressed. And I was like, I really just don't like the way that my nose looks. It was mentally destroying my piece and it was something that I also thought about because my work is very public and a lot of people take pictures of me for certain things or interviews or red carpet events that I go to. There's cameras everywhere and I just was so fucking self-conscious about it. But obviously I want to promote like body positivity and loving yourself and embracing who you

are and loving all the parts of you because that's important to spread that message. But at the same time, I just want to be honest with you guys because everyone has their own insecurities and that was mine. If anything, if I had to change one thing about myself, it was my nose. And I also had spoken about this on the podcast last year where I talked about how people were bullying me a lot for my nose and just saying like really mean things. And I had so many mean comments that I would have to block people and delete because it would affect my mental health.

And I tried to embrace it. And I was trying, I tried to be okay with it. And I was like, you know what, this is who I am. I'm Italian. This is my heritage. This is who I am. And so what makes me me. But at the end of the day, I was just like, well, if I have the opportunity to change it, and it's really bothering me this much, and it's causing me this much stress and internal anxiety on a daily basis, I have to do it. I just have to do it. And if people are gonna judge me and criticize me for doing it, whatever, I literally don't care.

This is my life. You have one life to live. And I genuinely knew it was going to make me feel better. So I did a lot of research, a ton of research, three years of research, okay? And I chose a doctor in Turkey. His name is Dr. Ahmet Alp. He's incredible. He's the nicest, kindest person ever. When I had my consultation, I immediately felt really safe. And the decision to go to Turkey wasn't an easy decision. I debated doing it in New York and trying to find someone nearby in the States,

but I couldn't find a doctor that really made me feel that feeling of, okay, I'm gonna feel really good about this. Now there are plenty, I wanna clarify this, there are plenty of good surgeons in the states, I'm sure. And I'm sure there's a lot of people who could recommend amazing doctors in the states. But this doctor for me really just felt like he was going to be able to fix everything and do it the right way. And I didn't want to take any chances because it's my face and I heard really good things

about him. So, went to Turkey, found this doctor that was truly just the best of the best for me, from my opinion, and I trusted my intuition. I feel like everyone has that intuitive choice to make when it comes to the people that do your work, do your surgery, whatever it is. If you're feeling really uncomfortable with a doctor, if you get into a doctor's office,

I had some consultations in the city, by the way, before I made the decision to go to Turkey. And all the doctors made me feel so anxious. Like I walked out of the office feeling worse than I already did. Like I had a consultation with this one guy that someone had recommended to me. And as he was looking at me, he's like, not only is your nose like messed up pretty much,

he's like, but you need to figure out your Botox and filler because it doesn't look good either. And I could do that and fix everything for you and correct your face. And I did not like that. I was like, okay, I came here for a reason and now you're literally trying to correct other things about my face and saying it in a very degrading way.

I did not like it at all. things about my face and saying it in a very degrading way. I did not like it at all. I was so turned off and it just felt like unsafe. And when you feel that way, that's not your doctor, okay? It's a relationship. If you feel weird about it, if you feel uncomfortable, don't go through with it. So I ended up just scratching that plan to use that doctor.

I even put down a deposit with him and then I was getting so much I ended up just scratching that plan to use that doctor. I even put down a deposit with him and then I was getting so much anxiety about it that I was like, you know what? I would rather lose the money, keep my fucking money because I don't trust you. Like I don't trust you doing my face. So I'm so glad I didn't and I trusted myself and I waited and I waited and I waited until I found the right person.

Now, getting into the whole Turkey situation in more detail, yes, was it terrifying to fly to a foreign country and go under anesthesia, go under plastic surgery? It was so scary, especially because I was literally by myself, okay? Not a lot of people go by themselves. I think there are people, but I didn't know anyone that went by themselves. So I asked the nurse that I was talking to, and I was like, is it normal for people to just show up and get a nose job solo without any help? She's like, yes, we have nurses on site to help you. So I'm like, okay, sounds good.

And my parents weren't about to jump on a plane and come with me. They have work and they have obligations and they were like, you're fucking crazy, Alyssa. You are so fucking nuts for doing this. And I was like, you know what? I'm probably nuts and I'm probably gonna get there and start having a panic attack,

but I really feel like it's gonna be fine. I was just trusting that it was gonna be fine. Doing a lot of meditations, prepping myself. I took a ton of supplements prior to the surgery as well. I was listening to what the nurses were telling me. The nurses there are so amazing and the medical care is so amazing that I felt safe. So once I got there, I ended up booking a hotel in Istanbul and it was a very quick process.

It was like one day I was there and then the next day I had the surgery. And I was in the hospital for one night overnight. That was probably the worst part of it because there was no air conditioning in the hospital room. And I was literally up all night sweating, wrapped in bandages, bleeding out of my nose. These doctors are running into the room in the middle of the night, just like changing my bandages, making sure I'm okay. And you're not allowed to drink water after having anesthesia. So I was like so dehydrated and so delirious. And I was like, why am I here right now?

Like my family isn't here, my friends aren't here. I'm literally doing this journey by myself in a hospital, in a foreign country. I was, I don't even know how I really did. Okay. Yes, I'm so glad I did it and I had no regrets, but I will say it was really scary. It really was in the moment. But then after the whole surgery was done and I was back in my hotel and I was back safe and sound and then my hotel was taking care of me

and my hotel staff was making sure it was okay. And then I flew back to New York. Once I got home to New York, I was like, thank God that is over. I am so happy. I'm so happy I did it. But I guess the process of it all was very stressful. It really was something where I had to detach

from what was really happening in order to get through it. I was like, I need to mentally remove myself from what's actually happening for the next two weeks. And until I'm safe and sound in my apartment in New York City, I'm probably gonna have to dissociate from reality. So yeah, it was definitely a lot, I will say that, and a little bit hectic, back and forth,

flying, etc. But overall, I have zero regrets. I love the results. I feel like I still look like me. My nose is straightened. It healed really well. The doctor really cared about the results. He cared about me. He was very

empathetic. He was very kind. He made me feel safe. And that's what you want when you are going into plastic surgery. That's what I would want. So some people just do shit and they'll do their whole face and not really think twice. But I knew that if I was going to make a decision like this, I needed to feel really good about it. And it was a three-year decision in the making. I literally was thinking about it for three years straight and bookmarking different doctors for a couple of years

before I pulled the trigger and did this. So the other thing I want to say is, I messaged about 50 other people that were patients of his, that he had shared on Instagram. I messaged literally his entire Instagram feed. And every single person, other than maybe one, had said he was the best of the best, and they were so happy. So I also asked other patients, and I didn't just ask one or two.

I asked literally 50 until I made the decision, okay, there's like a 99.9% success rate with all these people. Like everyone said he's amazing. Everyone said he did a good job. So now I feel comfortable. So there was a lot that went into this whole process. Now I have to listen back to this episode after because I feel like I just went on this same messy tangent of this journey but I just wanted to cover all bases and give you the overall picture of my experience. Would I do it again? I would hope I never have to do it again. But if I could tell anyone, like, where to go,

I think Turkey has amazing surgeons. And I feel like a lot of people gatekeep it because they're like, oh, it's really far. And I don't know. I feel like it's not as talked about as it should be. But anyways That was my story that's like the rundown of my experience and I'm very happy That I did it now

the next thing I want to talk about is my overall perspective on plastic surgery because Everyone has their own opinions when it comes to getting work done, but I have a very strong opinion on it and you can agree with me. You cannot, maybe your perception of me has changed from listening to this episode. Maybe you appreciate the transparency. I would just wanna know if someone that I

saw regularly had work done and I was like looking at them as maybe a mentor or an inspiration or whatever and like all of a sudden their face looks different. I'm like, did they have work done? I don't know. It's just you want to know. So I'm like, why not be open and just share it? Because if you're interested in getting work done, it's just helping people.

It's like being open about it is gonna help other people if they wanna do it. And I know that I needed insight and help and guidance. And there were some people that were like gatekeeping shit from me when I wanted to get my nose done or I wanted to do certain procedures. And then I'm messaging people and they're like, eh, like they're not really helpful.

It's just annoying. So this episode is really to share everything and also share my perspective. But anyways, my whole opinion on surgery is this. You have to do what makes you fucking happy. If you are happier, if you're gonna feel more confident and more in your skin and you're gonna feel more like you by changing yourself physically, why not?

If you have the privilege to do it, if you have the money to do it, if you have the opportunity to do it and you genuinely know that you're going to feel more confident, then do it. I think not everything is about physical beauty and appearance, and I think you should have confidence with or without changing your physical appearance, but sometimes it does help with your inner confidence. I do believe that. I can confidently say that straightening my nose, and now when I look on a camera, it's straighter.

I feel really better about myself. I do, I feel happier. I wake up every day and I'm not thinking about my nose anymore, which is an amazing thing because it was taking up all of my brain power and energy because I would obsess over it. Then that was part of the reason I didn't like doing video interviews. That was part of the reason I hated being on camera and I wouldn't take close-up pictures of my face.

So for me, it was important and it was a big deal and it did help my confidence. And I know there's this whole thing, beauty comes from within, you shouldn't be telling people to do surgery. And to an extent, I believe that's true. Beauty does radiate from within. And if someone's a 10 out of 10 gorgeous model

and they have a shit personality, yeah, that's when you say beauty radiates from within because energy is a lot of what makes someone beautiful. Truly, but that doesn't mean you can't change your physical appearance if it also will help a little bit or make you feel a little bit better or boost your confidence a little bit more. And for me, I think it does. I think also, I will say,

I did have confidence before all of this. I did. But as I got older, and I think in the world of social media and comparison and seeing a lot of people look good online, it did weigh into my insecurities a lot. I do remember when I was way younger, I had a lot of confidence,

even though I looked completely different. So I knew that confidence was in there all along, but I think it could just get a little bit dissolved in the midst of comparison to everyone else, and pictures, and videos that you see everywhere on social media nowadays. Instagram weighs heavily into this. I know for a fact Instagram has affected the perception of myself, the way that I perceive how I look, of course.

At the same time, do I regret doing anything because maybe my insecurities were heightened due to other people, other things that I'm seeing, procedures I'm getting exposed to? No, I don't regret any of it. I am still really happy that I did all of it. And that's it. That's all the work I've had done.

That might sound like a lot to some people. That might sound like not that crazy, but that's it. I haven't done anything to my body, just my face, just some Botox filler and a nose job, and I'm very happy, very satisfied, and I hope that insight was helpful. As I said, I genuinely believe with all my heart, you have to do what makes you feel good and happy,

and you also have to do your own research and be responsible. If you go to someone that you feel comfortable with and you like the results of whatever it is you're doing, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't see any problem in wanting to change things about your appearance. Now, I have had people, especially my parents, my mom, my dad, they're like,

you're so beautiful, you're so naturally beautiful, why do you have to change this? Why do you have to change that? Like, why do you have to go and do this and this and this? And I'm like, listen, I like the way it looks. Now, you might look at me and be like, you look like you have too much lip filler. Oh, like you just look like frozen, your botox looks bad. You might look at me and see things differently, but if I like the way I look and I'm happy,

that's all that fucking matters. It's a you decision. You get to make the decision of what looks good, of how you feel, what makes you feel confident. And it's literally your decision. It's your body, it's your choice, it's your life. So my overall take on it, that's my perspective. If you agree, I would love to hear your thoughts.

You could always send me a message on Instagram, and if you don't agree, you could also bitch me out on Instagram. It's fine, totally understand. But truly, I think it's better to be open and honest and transparent about these journeys, especially because I am a public figure. I do post my face.

I do share pretty much everything about my life on the podcast. So I was like, why not make an episode about this because there have been questions around it. The other thing is, I do feel like it can get a little bit addicting, and that's the one thing I want to warn you if you've never done anything before and then you start to like the results, and then doctors might push on you like, oh, maybe you'll do a little bit of this, maybe you'll do a little bit more of that, and it can get a little bit addicting. So it's also just good to check yourself and don't go crazy and start injecting up your whole face just because a doctor is suggesting things. I highly recommend you take your time

in making these decisions because they are still decisions that are important and it is your appearance and it is your face and you don't want to do anything you would regret later on. For me, I knew over time, as I've done Botox and filler for many years, I knew gradually over time what I was getting myself into.

As I said again, the beauty about those procedures is that they're really not permanent. So it's not like it's the end of the world if you don't like the results. But when it comes to other surgery, I just really do believe that you should take your time with the process before you make a decision. I told you, as I said, I did years of research. I was super patient with it, and I'm really glad I took as much time as I did before I pulled the trigger

and did it. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode. I know that was a bit maybe shorter than usual. I wanted to just get straight to the point. Tell you guys my journey. If you have any other questions, you could always send me a message on Instagram, Atlas, or on the podcast account, at date yourself instead. If you enjoyed this yourself instead if you enjoyed

This episode if you want to hear more about my journey, you could also just message me and I'm happy to answer any questions Thank you as always for listening if you haven't already to be sure to check out my master class dare to detach as usual It's a master class designed to help you up level your life and detach from what and who is no longer serving your highest good I know I talk about it a lot, but it's the one thing I Highly recommend especially this summer as you're going in working on yourself Wanting to see changes in your life and wanting to step into your higher timeline The dare to detach masterclass was designed for all of you listening to the podcast. I love you Thanks again and stay tuned for next Monday