D&D is For Nerds - Barovia III #27 The Time Between Two Storms

Episode Date: August 10, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. I've known many evil places in my time, but this realm, called Barovia, is among the most dangerous. A man could drown here, though he wouldn't need any water to do so. This place is ruled by a man, no, more a creature actually, known as Strahd Von Zarovich. It is said that anyone who can slay him will be set free. If they don't die in the attempt, of course. Pip, you feel as if you have no secrets with Ludmilla.
Starting point is 00:00:40 That's a bad feeling. Kill him. The automatons attack. They have advantage. Well, this is me, boys. The first attack reduces you to zero hit points. Pip, everything goes dark. Okay.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Oh, fuck. The second attack gives you two failed saving throws. Oh! Oh! Okay. Yeah, okay. Good to know I've got another Not Dead Yet up my sleeve. What's that card do?
Starting point is 00:01:06 Uh, if I die, or if I fall unconscious and need to roll death saving throws, I can automatically stabilise. Uh, spend it now, because the third attack would kill you. Okay, hey, let's stabilise, baby! Hooha, hoo-ha, hoo-ha! Alright, so, the third attack- Oh, God. The third attack instead reduces you to two failed saving throws, you are bleeding out again.
Starting point is 00:01:24 That's fine. That's okay. Good to hear. Then, another one attacks you, Hector, but because you passed, it doesn't have an advantage. Okay. That is a hit, a miss, and a hit. Okay. Heck you. Yeah, heck. Am I right? Heck you. Oh, that's a few ones. 10, 16, 20 points. 26 points of damage. Okay. Great to hear.
Starting point is 00:01:53 I've got you on 22 hit points. I'll take it. Alright, that was... Oh no, there's one more creature left. What's she gonna do with that last one? Kill the spy no grab the spy The last one attempts to grapple Pyrrhen Pyrrhen is grappled. Okay, bring him here. Okay, the last automaton grabbing Pirin drags him. No, no, no, no. Pirin puts both of his heels into the carpet and the carpet begins bunching underneath his heels as it
Starting point is 00:02:33 drags him in front of Ludmilla. Lower his head. Oh god. The automaton lowers Pirin's head and forces it into biting distance. That is however, that is its turn. Hector, it's your turn. Okay. Ludmilla bites. Okay. Damn.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Damn. Pyrrhen takes eight points of piercing damage. Oh yeah. Okay. Oh, Pyrrhen, you're so weak. And then he takes a further four points of necrotic damage, which ludmila heals Okay, and Then it is Hector your turn. Okay, I guess let's have a little bit. I love legendary We've got three automatons
Starting point is 00:03:21 They are all not wounded or there's... One of them is pretty badly damaged. The one that downed Pip is pretty badly wounded. But there's one right next to you and there's one holding Purin for Ludmilla. Okay. And let's see, we've got Purin. He's being grappled. Cavendish is in a bad way.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Cavendish actually, if you look across at Cavendish, assessing the room, Cavendish looking back at you says, worry about yourself and Pip, I'll take the tiefling. Okay, we've got the, the Bergemaster. She's pretty well largely un- Yeah, she's a bit hurt Mm-hmm. If I was to get to pip that would be an attack of op. Yeah. No, and that's a Strength no Dex saving throw to avoid. What is that? It would be your armor class and my armor class is 16 it's pretty good. Yeah, oh 18 with your shield
Starting point is 00:04:26 Hmm team with my shield. Um Can I get to pip in? Now like a white one turn if you wanted to make an acrobatics check to jump the desk Athletics actually to be sorry. It's better. Okay. I'm gonna try and get to pip Fuck you leap the desk as you do. So though the automaton gets an attack on you. That's a hit. You feel a scoring, searing pain in your back. You take 17 points of damage. Cool. Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:58 You land next to Pip and the automaton there. Yeah. Yeah, cool, cool, cool. Right, right, right. Well, I give... pip is now on 16 health yeah okay okay I lay on hands mm-hmm you're a monster hunter hunt my gesture to to Ludd Miller and everything Taron says, actually no, he says CLOCK CLOCK CLOCK CLOCK CLOCK
Starting point is 00:05:27 That's what he says actually. Okay, okay, okay. That was Hector, it is the MOOX turn! The MOOX! Don't worry boss! MOOC brigade! MOOC brigade! Boo foo foo foo foo!
Starting point is 00:05:42 They fire at the badly damaged automaton. Hit, hit, hit, critical miss. Uh, somebody's gonna lose another arrow. So tragic. They deal 6, 10, 16 points of damage total. Okay. And ricochet. Make a DC 14 dexterity saving throw on a failed save, take half the weapons damage and you are blinded for a d4 round.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Passes. Okay, phew. Anyway, that is the Mooks' turn. It's Pirin's turn. Pirin struggles to get free, but he has disadvantage because two people are grappling him. He fails. Pirin cannot get free. It's Ludmila's turn.
Starting point is 00:06:26 Oh, fuck. Ludmila, oh, wait, I forgot she could do this. Before her turn begins, she uses a legendary action to bite Pirin. Right, that's fine. Pirin takes six points of piercing. We can bring him back if he gets vampire-ed. So that's some small, I'll figure it out.
Starting point is 00:06:44 I've brought people back from being a werewolf before so of you we can do it for vampires and his maximum is reduced by nine which ludmila heals it's ludmila's turn she regenerates 20 Okay. You've done so little damage. I know. We know. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Um, she bites Piran. Piran takes eight points of piercing damage. She's dodged. Piran died. Get out of the way, man. And a further five necrotic which would be like heels. Okay He has lost so much we all have we've all lost blood. Okay, not like Not like pure
Starting point is 00:07:38 Then it is John Cavendish's turn Ludmilla legendary LudeMiller legendary actions and fights. Pirin loses 9 more hit points. Pirin's gonna die. You killed Pirin. I maybe have, maybe hasn't, and he takes 10 necrotic damage. I don't. How are we gonna- Witch LudeMiller. She's probably back to full now. She's 5 off four. Yeah. Yeah Okay, that was Ludenmilla's legendary. It's Jon's turn. Uh-huh. Jon
Starting point is 00:08:13 He said he was gonna handle this and by golly he's going to. He swings with his cavalry saber and attacks three times He hit critical hit, hit. Nice. Nice. Something good. Something for our side. As he swings, you see the Cavalry Sabre little icicles trail in its wake. It looks like there's some magic to this weapon. That's good.
Starting point is 00:08:38 That's good. Nosebleed. Maximum damage and roll the damage dice again. Yeah. Okay, that's great. So... That's... 27 and 28 points of damage. Hell yeah. Bleed maximum damage and roll the damage dice again. Okay, that's great. So that's 27 and 28 points of damage. Hell yeah. Great news. It seems pretty good. That's something It'll take her a lot of drinking purin to get that back
Starting point is 00:08:56 Purin doesn't have enough hit points to get all of that back. Yeah Purin is do you want to know what? No, to. No, thank you. It'll stress me out. That was Cavendish's turn. Okay, okay. Oh wait, no, sorry. Cavendish then just slams his elbow into Ludmilla. Sorry, he has a bonus action still. He fucks it up, unfortunately. He tries to wedge himself in between.
Starting point is 00:09:22 It's the Birdramaster's turn. John Cavendish tries to wedge himself in between Ludm's the burj master's turn. John Cavendish tries to wedge himself in between Ludmila and Pirin, but Ludmila bites Pirin. Oh my God. Pirin takes nine points of piercing damage.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Pirin, dodge. Get out of there, Pirin. He can't. He wants to. All I'm hearing is a lot of like, I want to and not doing it. A lot of I wanna not I'm gonna. Yeah. And seven points of necrotic.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Oh my god. Which Ludmilla he holds. God damn it. The burj master, she looks like she's about to attack Ludmilla, but then assessing the room, she instead, with a careful, practiced eye, she creates that wall of ice again. She very Carefully carves a line through the room to try to hit only The she can't hit the one holding Pirin but the other two automatons She tries to hit just them both of them make saving throws both of them fail. Okay, that's good
Starting point is 00:10:22 Super she destroys one and then gravely wounds the other one So you're down to two currently one wounded Which is where it's the one where you were Hector on the other side of the desk and there's the other one Holding Pirran which is undamaged. Cool. That was the Bergemaster's turn. Pip, it's your turn. Okay, Ludmilla... Yeah, I was about to say, shouldn't... Shouldn't our good mate Ludmilla have a little drink?
Starting point is 00:10:51 She deals 8 points of Piercing and 9 Necrotic. Oh my god. Fucking hell, dude. Calm down. Okay. Yeah, Pip, it's your turn. Okay. I would like to cast Fire, a Spray Shot.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Which I hit every enemy within a 30-foot cone. Each attack's damage is rolled individually. Okay. To try and hit Woodmilla, the remaining one that has Pyren, and the one near me. Okay. So what damage type are you using? I'll just make it Acid, because I can't do any specific damage. Because if Fire, like she does, would Fire make her run away from Pyren? Yeah, I'll make it Fire. I'll make it acid. Cause the kind, I can't do any specific damage. Cause if fire, like she does,
Starting point is 00:11:26 would fire make her run away from- Oh, actually, yeah, I'll make it fire. I'll make it fire. Yes. Yeah, I'll make it fire. That's, yeah, of course. You critical hit one of the automatons. So you hit Ludmilla, but you miss the other one.
Starting point is 00:11:37 Neck wound. Oh, this one's good. Quadruple damage. Hell yes, hell yes. That's a good one. Monster Hunter hunt. That, holy shit, quadruple damage. That'll be...
Starting point is 00:11:48 Jesus, that'll be... Is that 8d6? Yeah. Hell yeah. 8d6, 4d10. Hell yeah. That's... This is gonna be pretty devastating. Why was this not on Ludmilla? That would've been good. Still, whatever. Hey, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:12:04 55 points of damage, you destroy an automaton. Hell yes. Still. Whatever. Hey, it's fine. 55 points of damage you destroy an automaton. Hell yes. You absolutely demolish one of the automatons, leaving one left. Then your other attack hits Ludmilla and deals 10 points of damage. She begins screaming and lets go of Pirin. Okay. Thank god. Pirin looks at you, you can see through the holes in his neck.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, Jesus Christ. He tries to cough, but it comes out of the holes instead. Pirin is very deathly pale right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Then it is, um, fuck, why didn't she do that from the beginning? That was so clever getting the creature to hold him.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Then it is, it's very funny as well because she's out of legendary actions. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Phew. She wasn't going to be doing that anymore, the ground anyway. Yeah. It's the automaton's turn. Ludmilla says,
Starting point is 00:12:59 Kill the assassin. Defend me. The automaton, thunk, slams Pirin once into the ground. Yeah. Pirin falls still. Okay, okay, fuck, okay. Rightio. But he goes to the future.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Mwahahahaha. Uh-huh. Then it rounds on, you're the nearest one, and you her scream. Yeah, pip. So hey, that's okay miss Hits okay. That's fine. You take Everything goes dark. Yep. Well, you're wrong. Missed me. You ignore damage from one attack. Oh, I'm using it. Fuck it. Mm-hmm 16 yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Sure. Yep. Yep. Sure is. Okay. Cool. Great news. Oh my god, dude. Oh my god. That was the automaton's turn. It's Hector, your turn. What? How were
Starting point is 00:13:55 the automatons being controlled? They seem to be following just orders. He seems to be following orders. So, uh, I look towards the engineer, the halfling. He's unconscious. I look towards him, like the body can I scan, and does he have anything? Try to think if there's a switch or a little control thing or something like that. Maybe in his hand? Like anything? That would be, you'd have to move over to him, and if you're checking his hands, that'd be an action.
Starting point is 00:14:23 Did people say he used a device to do it or was that just the theory? This theory is there's some sort of control mechanism. Yeah. Okay. Okay. And Ludmila hasn't been saying anything. I mean, she's been giving audible orders. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Okay. And she's got nothing on her body. Not that well, she's, she wears jewelry. Yeah. She has her clothes on her and she is still actually invisible. Yeah. So it's okay Yeah, just like a shape made of fairy fire. Yeah
Starting point is 00:14:50 Okay, I'm just wondering if like, you know, have we noticed that her touching like yeah like touch a button before she whatever I'm like nothing that you've spotted Just wondering like do I just head over to the engineer and try and decipher something there? Give it a crack, man. I'm going to go towards the engineer and see if I can find anything on him. You, picking up his hands, you start flipping through the various different tools. You're going to need to make an arcana check, I guess. You don't know what a lot of, a lot of these are very complicated tools.
Starting point is 00:15:25 You rolled high though. So you can guess, if you don't know what an item, a tool is, you can at least guess its purpose until you come to one tool. It's a golden rod with a blue gem at the end of it, this tool has no obvious purpose to you and it looks like a rod or a wand of some sort. You can tell that there's a magic in it, but the specifics of how it might work are beyond you. So you're not sure. You just know that this, if anything were it, it'd be this.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Okay, excellent. I kind of wanna, if I hold it, it'd be this. Okay, excellent. I kind of wanna, if I hold it, and like, can I feel anything? Is there a communication? If I grab it, I'm just, I'm torn between crushing it or being like, attack Ludmilla. You, you try to extend your consciousness into the gem. As you do so, you recoil with horror.
Starting point is 00:16:25 This is it. But when you try to use it, you fuck up how it's supposed to work. And instead of controlling it, you try to become it for a second and you feel the agony that is its every movement. Okay. It's just like a, it hurts, but it doesn't do any damage or anything like that. Okay. Okay. It's just like a, it hurts but it doesn't do any damage or anything like that. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Cool. Can I smash it? That unfortunately you've spent too much time doing this. Yeah, you can do it on your next turn. But Ludmilla has definitely noticed what you're doing. Hey Adam. Yeah? I don't know about this, but if I could use a little bad boy card on you. Yeah, we're something of the player breaks
Starting point is 00:17:11 Absolutely, give me the bad boy card. Yes that rules. That's a great use of that car. Yes. That's awesome Something important to the players break Could not fit this could not fit the description better when This could not fit the description better. When you reach in mentally and you fuck it up, you fuck it up in some might say the perfect way. The gem shatters. The last remaining automaton reaches backwards with both of its hands, grabs its head, screaming it crushes its own skull. The automaton collapses forwards, very dead. That was a wasp, dude.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Alright, that will be your turn though, Hector. That's fine. That is A-OK. It's the MOOCs's turn. MOOC Brigade! MOOC Brigade! They fire a hail of crossbow bolts. Two hits, but Ludmilla is immune to their attacks.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Yeah. Well, they're just here for fun now. Ineffective! Donk, donk, donk, donk, donk. The whole way that you would just end, something big and heavy is charging its way down. Bigfoot Paul. Bigfoot Paul. Does it have the telltale sound of thuk donunk, thuk thunk, thuk thunk? No, it's an even sound.
Starting point is 00:18:30 It's something dense, but it's not Bigfoot Paul. The mooks turn to look in that direction, and you see, because they're still on the hallway, you see looks of horror over their faces. They're about to raise their weapons to attack this new entity. When you hear two voices screaming in unison, GORUB AND LUSHIN SLAM into the mooks, not to damage them, but pinballing off them. GORUB AND L Lushen look like a wild hill purse What happened gone is their regular armor instead? They are wearing some sort of elaborate leaf weave clothing underneath Bach armor
Starting point is 00:19:19 What there's no time? Lifting the axe Gora bin Lushen charge at Ludmilla. What? Jesus! They attack. What? There's no time. There's no time to even think about it. Hit, hit. There's no time to even contemplate what we're seeing. Gorob and Lushen deal 10, 20, 30, 46 points of damage. Fuck they're a heavy hitter. It's crazy how much of a heavy hitter they are. They really are MVP. They truly are. That's why we can never get rid of them. They stink, but... With each hit, as Ghorub swings, Lushen runs his hand along the blade and
Starting point is 00:20:08 It crackles with electricity. Every swing BOOSH! BOOSH! BOOSH! Explodes into Ludmilla's flesh. She starts staggering backwards. It's Piran's turn. Piran Lies down. Yeah, fair enough. Oh wait, no. He's death saving. He makes death saving throws. Sorry. Oh, fuck. What was it? It's up for us.
Starting point is 00:20:31 That's okay. It's Ludmilla's turn. ENOUGH! She calls, she screams. She creates a shimmering, scintillating field all around her. And that is her turn. It's John Cavendish's turn. He unslings his spear, then loads a little ball into it.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Crack, crack, crack! The bullets ricochet off the shield. He looks kind of helplessly at the two of you, uncertain of what to do next. It's the Berger Master's turn. She putting up a hand says, save your ammunition and time. A wall of force is not so easily penetrated. Stepping into the doorway, you see Pappos okay I kind of just do a look at that nod in her direction I am sorry I left it's okay you have things to do
Starting point is 00:21:37 just like we did she steps into the room looking and she kind of assesses the situation. Can you heal the little tiefling man? Oh yeah she can. She helps Pirin to his feet. You are hurt gravely. Yes, thank you. Am I? He says. But how did that happen? Pirin shut up. I shut up. Eyes on Ludmilla. Take him outside. Can I while I'm doing this, sort
Starting point is 00:22:10 of like circling around Ludmilla with a teleportation circle is and like mess it up? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We got a trap then at least. I don't want to hurt her. You watch as over the course of like a minute. She completely heals again fuck I can wait here Indefinitely can you well we've got nowhere to be no no no no no no no I Think the walls of this city will need your help very soon The city will be fine
Starting point is 00:22:41 Really without me this entire time during your little, and while Ludmilla was completely healing, the Burgermaster, slowly she's been making her way around the wall of force. Every now and then she mutters something under her breath and just puts a hand up against it and touches that scintillating field of energy. She finally finishes where she started, and then with that wicked predator, predator,
Starting point is 00:23:04 predator smile here a Modified version of the spell it can last longer than the most But it is not she looks over at ludmila indefinite I fear poor poor princess That no army will arrive in time to save you." That wipes the smile off Ludmilla's face a little bit, but she still seems determined. What's the room we're in made of?
Starting point is 00:23:33 It's made out of wood for the most part and stone. Can I- Before you do that, uh, Pipp. Oh no, sorry, metal and stone. Sorry. No, it's okay. Yeah, I'm sorry. Before you do that, Pipp, maybe-
Starting point is 00:23:44 Uh, Tarpos, do you have any other magics left? I'm looking to my... I guess... the insides of my body are currently outside. She looks you up and down. Hurt. How bad? I'm pretty bad. So is he. I adjust it to Pip. Yeah, I'm not doing so hard. Hector, you recover 14 hit points. It's not nothing. It's not nothing. And Pip, she looks over at you. I lost a lot of blood. Any healing you have, I'd appreciate.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Okay. She casts another healing spell on you as well. This whole type, just like basically stalking. Yeah. I feel like a couple of like, like a tiger just circling. Constantly having my crossbow trained on the big ball. You recover 19 hit points pip,
Starting point is 00:24:33 which puts you on 35 by my. Great. Feels good. Feel healthy. Helena, this is a. Tomac, Berger master or my lady. My lady. This is indefinite you're saying. Not indefinite. This spell I think has perhaps only an hour left. Would I be right there Ludmila?
Starting point is 00:24:56 Ludmila says nothing, just grits her teeth. A lot can happen in an hour. Tapos. It's funny to just say Tarpos. Yeah. And actually, you just say Tarpos and she does nothing. She doesn't know what you're queuing her up for. She, if anything, just looks at you awkwardly. You can shape stone, right? Yes. Now kind of like slowly the cogs are moving.
Starting point is 00:25:23 Yes. Can you crush her? She looks at ludmilla and Before ludmilla is able to react tapas like she's grabbing a comically huge burger She puts one hand down low one hand up high Slams them together and the roof and floor crush ludmilla Oh them together and the roof and floor crush Ludmilla. A burst of mist escapes past you and slithers its way down. You lose sight of it immediately. It moves too quickly. 24 hours, I say.
Starting point is 00:25:58 And then I'll start heading towards the machinery. Cool. Yeah, we'll start heading towards the machinery. I want to just scoop up that engineer. Oh, I'm gonna go towards the horse. Pirran just sits, Pirran's just gonna sit down. He, in a corner, sits down. I'm gonna, yeah, I'll go to Orion first, I guess,
Starting point is 00:26:18 before anything else. What the fuck, Adam? I don't know what you mean. It's like the, it's like the horse has been skinned and stretched out on a rat. It's been flayed. Yeah. Except it hasn't. It's all of the horses here. What do I know about, what?
Starting point is 00:26:39 Okay. I know. Yeah. It's from the realm, like the celestial realm. I also know that when, when it dies, it's meant to go, like the celestial realm. I also know that when it dies, it's meant to go back to the celestial realm. What has stopped it from not dying? And if I were to kill it, is it killing it?
Starting point is 00:26:54 If I were to put, to kill Orion now, is that just Orion over, or will Orion go back to the astral plane? I mean, a lot of this stuff, I probably don't know the answer to, but would I be surmising a guess towards? It would be, it's impossible for you to know. Whatever fel magic has done this
Starting point is 00:27:13 is beyond your comprehension, your understanding. You can see, there's even diagrams, literally Ludmilla has in her own writing laid out exactly what she's done you cannot follow it. It's very high level magic. To the burj master? Yeah, I I asked the burj master
Starting point is 00:27:36 What has she done here? Your companion has been trapped within the Shadowfell Where we find ourselves where Barovia sits on the cosmic wheel. There is no afterlife for Orion anymore. Their connection to Celestia and the heavenly planes has been severed. They cannot return. The state you find them in currently is an entirely separate experiment a test Something Ludmila enjoys I think To determine the breaking point of a creature to see how much it can take before dying
Starting point is 00:28:21 And to put to put a rye out of his misery, where does he go? Nowhere. That would be better than here. Can I telepathically commune with Orion at this point? No, it's been severed completely. Yeah, just put hand up against the skin and just kind of look into his eyes, I guess. Orion closes his eyes.
Starting point is 00:28:48 And I'll cast Eldrick Blast. Orion dies. That one, I want to point to the engineer, tie him up, cuff him, whatever, restrain him, and then take him back to the tavern or out a makeshift brig, whatever prison. Cavendish looks around at everyone here, thinks to himself, he quickly assigns the mooks to take Pirran and the engineer back.
Starting point is 00:29:16 Then he stepping forward, looking at the two of you, uh, we're all a little scoffed up, but the two of you are quite wounded. Are you certain you want to proceed with this? Well, this is our chance. Well, I mean, the two of you need not be there at the end. I need to see this one to the end. Alright, well, it's your choice. Pip, I understand there's a heavy history here for you,
Starting point is 00:29:48 but I don't think anyone would say you did not participate today. I don't think I'd trust anybody else to put the stake in, right? He smiles like he knows, he knows it's kind of a bullshit excuse, but he just smiles and nods. Very well then.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Well, Tarpos is it? And the two of you, the second the fight is over, the second the fight was over, Gorob and Lushen, you're just now noticing, have taken a knee and are bowing before Tarpos. Something crazy happened while we were away dude yeah I don't know what's happened but they're quiet and I like that to the two of you are we are top awesome gore up nights of bark servants of our lady topos your
Starting point is 00:30:39 topos and what topos looks at the two of you and gives a shrug like she doesn't really understand it either I said his name was top. I don't know. What was your name? I'm trying not to go with your name Sorry again. What is your knee? What you say? We are going over. You know who we are you said your name was topos I don't know Are you so stupid you could not know that oh? Asimov are you so stupid you could not know that oh Asimov human Asimov human aren't we so magically intelligent
Starting point is 00:31:14 well magically intelligent this Cora punches both of them in the stomach um I'm just ignoring this sitting down and whittling away his steak Oh my god John Caffentish takes his recoils. I just, I'm like, please, both of you, shut up. They begin arguing among themselves. Um, can I grab them? Sure. And just, are they near a wall?
Starting point is 00:31:42 They are, yeah. I just want to push them up against the wall. You can try. I will do my damnedest. They are so dense. So heavy. I just want to do something. But you grab them. You grab them. I want to be like, can you please, for the love of whatever gods you may or may not believe in, just shut the fuck up and understand the gravity of this situation where thank you for coming in and thank you for whatever you've done but please understand that I've lost someone very close to me that they have been committed absolute horrors and I need you to be quiet.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Get a good boy card. Gorob and Lashen for the first time in a long time, are quiet when told to be. Thank you. Thank you. Tapos, Ghorab, Lashin. What is underneath this abattoir, this temple, is a dragon. It is headless, but it is undead. I know. I feel its presence. It is... sits on its throne. Throne of I assume meat. Corruption, rot, meat, yes. So what would you want us to do with this dragon? Dragon is abomination, must be killed.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Can kill this one? I think so. Not easy though. Not impossible though. So we need to go down there. Slay this dragon and stick a vampire in the heart. Everyone nods. How does the battle sound? It's done. Battle's over. You can't hear it. Hmm. You know, Isaiah may be standing up, you know who's good at slaying dragons? Adventurous. You know what Kutri's fucking full of?
Starting point is 00:33:26 Adventurous. Okay, so yeah, I guess from now is it, what is the state of everything, to be honest? What is the state of, I guess, the troops that have taken the abattoir, what's going on in terms of everything? Because I guess this is right now the calm before wow it's like the calm after the storm but before another storm. Yeah. If only they had a name for that. The calm between the storms. You're in the eye of the storm. I don't think that's right. Well okay well maybe we'll go because the the actual main bulk of the abattoir is safe now, right? Like inside it,
Starting point is 00:34:08 unless you go down to the basement, there's no more combatants or anything like that. The upper floor and the machinery of the abattoir, yes, is secure. You step out onto the catwalk and gaze down at the crowd of people below you, the army, I suppose, it seems a bit more like a rabble. They, like I said, have secured this area. You can see there's a bit of a listlessness, like a now what sort of vibe going through the crowd. So are these, because I know in Vagabond there was a bunch of like old adventurers, those like the people that have basically given up hope, all those kind of things. Would they be in amongst these group of people or are they going back for drinking or maybe no longer with us in fine cuterie for reasons undisclosed?
Starting point is 00:34:56 Um, bleh. I got a bad boy card. Oh man. You can see that it looks like Bigfoot Paul has kind of lost Cohesion of the group. Mm-hmm. They're just not in any way ordered anymore Bigfoot Paul always or up until this point Bigfoot Paul has kept like a Level of control enough where while you might not have considered this a proper standing army, it did have, like he was giving orders, orders were being followed, things were getting done, people weren't just wandering off and doing their own thing. That has stopped happening.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Okay. Is it kind of like without Bigfoot, like the direction of like, take the abattoir, like now that there's kind of no goal left, everyone's like, well, what are we? Like a kind of dog chasing a car. Yeah, like, oh, we got it. A bit, yeah. Neat. Alright.
Starting point is 00:35:51 And are there like the old adventurers, did they make up some of Bigfoot Paul's army? Yeah, there's a mix of locals and adventurers and the Burgermasters soldiers are below you. Yeah, sure, sure. Okay, okay, okay. And we're up on high, yeah. Yeah, you're. I'll blow you. Um, okay, okay, okay. And we're up on high. Yeah. Yeah, you're on the catwalk. If I was like to shout, could they, could I be heard over anything?
Starting point is 00:36:09 Probably. Well, you need to be, you would need a loud and commanding voice. People of Kuchiri, we have taken the abattoir. Is there any kind of applause? All right. That might have been. Uh, just to see kind of like... See what the...
Starting point is 00:36:27 What the vibe is. The crowd hasn't properly noticed you yet. Or people are... Some people are listening, but not everyone is. Can I do a big whistle? Like a big... To get everybody's attention? You...
Starting point is 00:36:39 You do as good a whistle as you can. That's embarrassing. I tried. And... Can I... Oh, we have so little good boy cards. as good a whistle as you can. That's embarrassing. I tried. Can I, oh we have so little good boycott. Can I just use, whoa, how'd I do that? I cast a card trip, I don't know. Can I use Therma Thursy? Yes, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Fantastic. People of Kuchiri, we have taken the abattoir, but this is not where we stop. The day is not yet over. Some of you are adventurers. Some of you were born here. Some of you have just ended up here. But something that unites us is that we have taken this place.
Starting point is 00:37:21 We have made a stand by choice. Some of you may think that your glory days were behind you. Some of you thought that maybe I will happily end my days at the bottom of a glass. Some of you while you were here relied on prophecy and destiny to guide you. But destiny is for the undecided. This town used to be a sanctuary, a fortress for heroes, for dragon knights sworn to protect until they were corrupted,
Starting point is 00:38:01 corrupted by the devil, corrupted by darkness, corrupted by the unwilling, corrupted by darkness, corrupted by the unwillingness to act. This town could be yours, but there is one thing standing in your way, and this will take a great risk and a lot of faith. There is an undead dragon underneath where we are standing, And I am Hector Dragonsbane. And I need a lot of dragon slayers. Who is with me? It's quiet at first.
Starting point is 00:38:36 And then from behind you, John Cavendish with his weapon starts slamming the butt of it into the catwalk beneath you. I'll get my crossbow, a Durax crossbow and start slamming it into the catwalk as well, into the railing. Slowly, one by one, members of the crowd below you follow suit until a cacophony of noise rattles this building. And then as one, people start screaming and battle cries in anguish, in anger, in loss and in just general frustration with the lives that they have led.
Starting point is 00:39:22 And then John Cavendish stepping up behind you Hector, leaning in, you might want to give them a literal destination. I look out at the crowd. Let's tear down the machinery and let us go kill that dragon. And I want to like point towards the back of the I guess the back of the abattoir where all the meat would just kind of be funneled into there. And I'm like just gesturing to there. Tear down the machinery.
Starting point is 00:39:47 And basically if we can, using that, maybe even build like a makeshift ladder down. Oh, that's cool. Uh, well, I, there's not a lot of order to what's happening below you. Your orders of tearing down the machinery and going below? Those are clear and obvious enough object objectives, especially the destroy the machinery. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that one happens almost That's right the entire machinery of the abattoir every element every station Every device is torn apart like hungry animals tearing into a carcass.
Starting point is 00:40:26 It's all hands and weapons swinging and grabbing and tearing and sometimes yes, biting. Do I know if we have enough like even like without saying hey let's get some of the metal and what not to make it? We have like ropes and everything like that so if they're just yeah, I guess I want the crowd in a little bit of a frenzy in a little bit of that kind of like, sure wanting to keep this going. Maybe John Gavin dish or if big football like, right, let us get as many ropes and, um, uh, anything that's a weekend, actually make accessible for us. It's a ground like stone. Can talk.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Can talk. Yeah. It's stone. Can talk. And stone. Can tap us. Like the ground like stone? The ground, yeah, it's stone. Pile and stone. Can tapos? Make a slope? Yeah. Help? No, she can't. Okay. She can't. It's too much stone for her to shape.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Fair. We need to get our way down there. Let us start building. Let us start grabbing ropes and anything we can. Your group, Jinjily, makes your way down from the catwalks because Pirin has destroyed all of the little circles that allow one to hover down. So you gingerly make your way down that way and then once on the ground Cavendish, the Berger Master start organizing and corralling people and Bigfoot Paul is still here so he does that as well. And I own her as well, actually.
Starting point is 00:41:48 All four of them begin fanning out into different sections of the crowd and then doing what they can to organize people. A bunch of ropes are brought forward. People force the doors to the machinery open, allowing you, the first time, a good view down into the depths of the cathedral, it seems to stretch for eternity.
Starting point is 00:42:11 No matter how far your dark vision is, it eventually cuts out. You see what looks to be an endless conveyor belt descending into darkness. The conveyor belt, even though it has not been operable for an entire day, is still slick and stained with the blood of countless creatures. Eww. Okay. Can I have made some things while Hector is giving his speech? Absolutely not.
Starting point is 00:42:41 Fair enough. I get it. I would have liked to have made a elixir, let's say, that provides me protection from damage and energy using some Lichen Hyde, water and a Devil's Horn. Uh huh. Yep, you succeed. Nice. I would like to combine a Frankenheart, Ruby and Essence of Piazza to make some undead Bane Arrows. You succeed. Sweet. And I would like to combine an Angel Feather, some more Essence of Piazza, and a Garnet to make a healing Elixir with an enhanced effect from the Garnet. You succeed. Great. I give that to Hector. Drink up. Well done. I
Starting point is 00:43:23 give that a big swig. You recover 23 hit points. Nice. Thank you. You're welcome. Tapos, is it possible for you to turn into some sort of flying creature or something to get down there so we can see what we're dealing with while we are constructing as many rope and ladders as we can. Maybe. What do down? Just to have a look. We need to know kind of what is there.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Don't want to be sending these people to their doom. Just straight into say like, you know, the open more of a... Down the neck hole. Neck hole, of the dragon. Okay, can go look. Do not engage, try not to be seen. We need you to be back to tell us, to look after yourself.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Right, right. Okay. She turns into a, I guess, a rat and then scurries down. Okay. Fair enough. We'll keep making ladders and stuff. We'll keep making ladders and stuff. We don't want just a one person at a time kind of thing. Feed you one at a time kind of thing. Feeds you one at a time into the
Starting point is 00:44:45 Thrasher area. Alright, can I start explaining while we're making the ladders to the crowd basically, everything about what it takes to fight something undead? That radiant damage is important, that fire can be helpful, try not to go for piercing damage,
Starting point is 00:45:02 those of you with spears, get a sword, bludgeoning's probably good, Chop off their arms if you have to. Or chop off its arms if you have to. Yeah, just try and impart that on the crowd to give them an idea of what they're coming up against, you know? We do know a little bit about... we do know a lot about dragons, a lot about the undead. Is it just like, yeah, bludgeoning is probably the best option there. Magical, if we can. try to get the resistance past it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:26 And yeah, radiant. And then yeah, everybody watch out for its tail. Yes, yeah, yeah, pretty much. Sure, yeah? Yeah. Just to give everybody that little leg up so they're not surprised when we get down there. Yeah. Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D
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