D&D is For Nerds - Buried Beneath #11 Lillip
Episode Date: April 25, 2017In which our heroes lose a friend. Shane is worried about not fighting fair, Anton has an unluck organ instead of a luck organ and Squim briefly becomes a barbarian.Want to help support the show?Sansp...ants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: sanspantsradio@gmail.com Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadShanks: twitter.com/timtimfedZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to episode 11 of Buried Beneath, a D&D's for Nerds adventure.
I'm Jackson Bailey, and I'll be playing the part of Anton de Saussure.
I'm Michael Shanks, and I'll be playing the part of Squim Norton.
I'm Joel Zammert, playing the part of Squim Norton I'm Joel Zamet Playing the part of
Shane Noll
I reckon I'll be
The DM today, Adam
Previously
All three of you are crowded around
A rooster trying to prevent it from
Dying
We'll have a rest, Gloom can keep observing his statue
Yes, I would like to analyze the statue.
Thank you, thank you. Why have you come
here, traveler? Why did our warning
not deter you? You stand in a place
where you should never have come. The
surveyor who came through here, he sold
this information to many different people.
It's in my opinion that we should probably
board this up and not come down here.
However, if you don't,
others are going to.
Let them make a request
that I never
have to do that again.
And with a tremendous cracking and thunderous
sound, the stone splits in two
and falls to either side. This creature
shares some traits in
common with a scorpion, but
one that has grown to monstrous size
and adopted a partially
upright posture.
It looks a little surprised to see you.
You look a little surprised to see it.
It's this whole awkward scenario.
All three of you, plus Lillip and Gloom, gaze at the scorpion creature as it considers you
from the nest in turn.
The giant scorpion, standing scorpion creature Moves over
So it is standing over its eggs
Ah, clever
So the scorpion is currently huddling over its eggs
Yep, looks very protective of them
Can I like shimmy around
To the other door
Which door, the Zametwood's door
Or the Shankswood door
Can I just like shimmy around the edge
With my shield up in a defensive stance
And just try and see what it does?
Which direction, sorry?
Let's go Zametwood.
Just to be like, maybe it won't attack.
Yeah.
And I'll say you have just a readied action.
Readied action is, so say, for example, in this scenario where you're like, what's going on?
Don't know what I want to do.
You can have a readied action, which is like, if it charges me, I attack.
Right.
So, yeah, you just prepare yourself for something.
Then it is...
Anton's turn.
I didn't actually know it's Epony.
You're in the far back.
You wasted your turn.
Squim.
I ready.
Like, can I ready a move?
Yeah, what would you like to ready?
I ready.
Like, can I ready a move?
Yeah, what would you like to ready?
I'm going to ready my wand of burning hands and also skirt the walls.
You'll need to be within, so obviously the listeners can't see,
but you'll need to be within 15 feet, so three squares you need to be away from it.
No more.
Okay, well, then I'll just ready my Eldrick Blast and just kind of of again, follow Shane.
I like his thinking of perhaps a non-confrontational solution.
Maybe it won't get us. You have that
ball of energy in your hand ready to throw
when you need to. I like to imagine, like what the hell am I
even hearing? Like open it up.
There's like a...
Nothing. Silence.
Oh, coming back. Lilip takes a couple steps
backwards. You can see that she's gazing
at something out of your distance down the corridor back Lilip takes a couple steps backwards You can see that she's gazing at something out of your distance
Down the corridor
Lilip
She looks over to you
Quite obviously she's backed up for your benefit
What is it?
She mouths rather than talking
You're not sure why, but no one else has said anything
So Lilip is assuming that you're being quiet for a reason
Ah yeah, we always do this very non-verbal
Yeah, nobody's ever like, okay, we're doing this.
We're always like,
we don't want the scorpion
to know our plans.
Lilip turns to you, Anton,
and mouths...
What does she even mouth?
Do you understand
what she mouths?
Swamp green.
She mouths a word.
What?
Lilip, what?
Anyway.
The creature charges.
Bullshit.
All right, both of you get your attacks.
Dog shit.
First, Shane, you attack with your bastard sword.
Yep, try and get its back legs, make it real fucking stupid and topple over like a dickhead.
Clever.
You slash and successfully your sword doesn't cut in between the chitinous armor.
It cuts straight through the chitinous armor.
You hammer straight through it.
Dealing five damage.
Nice.
Hey, it's something.
What can I do?
Adam will just kill my goddamn chicken if I send it in.
Still loaded up with a chill touch, I think.
Yeah, it is.
Then swim.
You.
Oh.
Oh.
Nice.
Nice.
At point blank range, you can't miss its arm.
Also, I have a feat of point blank shot, if that means anything.
Point blank shot?
Yeah, no.
Extra damage, extra attack.
Yeah, it does mean something.
I love you, man.
Normal damage and target is charmed for three rounds.
Shit, yes.
So that magical energy that you draw,
when you first draw it, you're like,
it feels a little weird.
There's nothing off to this magic,
but you're like, just throw it.
Just let it go.
The Eldritch Bolt strikes it dead in the head,
and you can see it seems a little like
what's going on what was that it seems confused and it doesn't attack hey you made it fall in
love with you god what a lotharia you deal five points of damage to it, and then it sort of just stops.
Go crush its eggs.
Back to its eggs.
And just huddles over them.
It seems to go quiet.
So it's not going to attack us for three turns.
Yep.
Yeah.
Well, if you attack it, then the spell is broken.
You have three turns to do whatever you want. Does tying it up count as an attack?
It might resist that.
It considers you a friend.
Right.
So you can... I'm going to play a little that. It considers you a friend. Right. So you can...
I'm going to play a little game.
It's a game of call and tie-up.
It's a bit of fun.
Just try communicating with this.
Well, it already loves me.
Tell me it would understand if you're like,
it's a game, we're just tying you up.
I'm sure it'll figure it out.
It's clever enough.
I mean, try if you want.
As a knight, I can't attack it, can I?
Because if it considers you a friend, it would be an unwarranted attack.
All right, I must raise my shield.
The fuck happened?
Well, it loves me now, and by extension you.
God, I reckon we got a couple of turns, whatever that means, to 18 seconds.
You know you have scant moments, you would say.
Yeah, we've got probably three scant moments.
We could call the others and just sort of vamoose this goose.
Get Lillip in.
Yeah.
We could just leave.
We could just leave.
Or we could steal an egg.
I kind of want to steal an egg.
Steal an egg.
Yeah, but then it's just going to attack.
Well, yeah.
But we might come back to this room
It could be sort of a hotline
Well, there's two doors here
And we're going to have to deal with it anyway
Alright, so should we just
Ready it
Like, get the lip in here
And we'll just surround it
And then when it
I can get close
I'm not there
Ah, rats
Brave and feeble
Yeah, can we surround it
And all attack it at once?
Like, to break it out of its trance
Do you reckon that'll work?
Yeah
Would we get a surprise attack? you attacked it yeah yeah it's not expecting an attack from you guys
although you can't attack it until we attack it first i'm like i mean look it's um you can do the
finishing block guys it's it's not real fair on the creature but look you guys can do it but not
for me all right it's a bit unsportsmanly, isn't it?
I feel like you've had way too much time to talk.
You have technically 18 seconds before it starts attacking again.
You just condensed that conversation.
Do we get it?
I don't want to.
I'm going to allow anyone to move.
So move yourself wherever in the room you want to be,
and I'm going to just jump straight to the fighting.
Why is Gloom right next to us?
Let's leave Gloom.
Why is Gloom in the room?
We'll be in the corridor.
Gloom takes a couple steps back.
Gloom is no windiness.
And can you put me next to Lilip?
And I would like to send my chicken into me just underneath it.
Can I spider walk so I'm above it?
Yeah, right above it?
Yeah, so I'm like directly above it.
Actually, no way.
It can't reach up to get you.
You're in a position where...
So I'm going to stick you next to it here because I can't.
There's no roof on this tile thing for me to stick you to.
But we know you're on the roof.
Cool.
Then combat begins again when the aura of magic around it wears off.
And it's like, hang on a minute.
Hold the goddamn phone.
Do we get a surprise?
Oh.
You spent too much time dawdling.
Fair, fair.
We did dawdle.
We dawdled hard.
That is on us.
I got too close.
I'm going to die.
What if I throw my voice for four minutes?
You just fucking wait
till we come across human enemies
When those mercenaries
Come down
When those mercenaries come down
And we gotta sneak our way through
I will be so fucking useful
Till then
The opposite
Okay so it has two claws
One claw it bashes
At you Shane
But you bring up your shield, deflect the blow.
One of its claws, it scoops up Lilip and lifts her up into the air.
We'll get to that in a moment.
My girl.
Then it tries to bite you.
Motherfucker.
Again, Shane.
It fails to bite you.
And then it tries to sting you. It fails to
sting you. Okay. I'm sorry.
When it picks her up into the air. Oh, no.
Yes. Left reeling. Double damage
and target takes negative two
AC for
That's fine. Whatever. Lilip's
guys. Give Lilip some bloody
credit. Yeah, whatever. So
from the initial attack, just went, and it grabs her.
We're going to lose our main last Lilip.
Not going to lie, I did not think Lilip was going to be the first to die.
No.
I honestly thought, are you, Jack?
Yeah, me too.
But once she dies, we all die because we are not healers.
She takes 34 points of damage.
Oh, no. Oh, damage. Oh, no.
Oh, goodness.
Putting her on five hit points.
Adamasa, I'm bad.
That's not good.
Then, just as it starts squeezing her, she takes...
Uh-oh.
No.
Dead Lilip.
Pour a 40 out for our homie.
She's gone.
Oh, God.
There's like some...
Adam's tension
This is
Come on
She goes limp in its claws
Lillip
Shane
I'm gonna try and
Cut off her
Its claw
That's holding Lillip
You swing mightily at its claw.
The claw is, you know how you
get a crab's arms?
Crab's arms are so much, the armor is so much
thicker than the chest.
I'm an idiot. So when you swing down
on its claw, at first you're like, yeah
I cut through its chitin before.
Then you strike and you're like, oh the chitin here
is so much thicker.
And your sword just bounces off doing no damage.
You chip a little bit of your bastard sword.
Piece of shit.
Fuck.
Crab chip.
Anton?
Raven feeblement.
So there are three people you could potentially hit.
Can we just have a moment before you do that?
Yeah.
Remember what happened last time?
And the time before that.
And maybe every time you've cast this spell. No, I got something once. you do that. Remember what happened last time. And the time before that.
And maybe every time you've cast this spell. No, I got something
once. Your rooster still has chill touch.
But I could do both.
What if I do this?
That's my movement. My movement's 30.
You're moving into the room? Yeah. So you want to position
yourself so you... Just like I'm away. They're all
on one side of it. I'm going to hit it from the back.
Hit it from the back.
Erotic. Yeah. Then I'm Then everyone's out of the fucking way.
Plus, then I get my chicken to touch it at the same time.
Double whammy.
How's it look?
How's it look?
No, no.
No, no, Adam.
Not that face.
So, you know how I've always described it as like the beam, you know,
goes across the room or something like that
Not this time
You're like, this time I got it
I'm just going to shoot one way in one direction
and because it's so big
How could I miss?
If I just fire and I don't move the beam
Literally, I'd have to be an idiot to miss
So you fire and you don't move the beam
and where the beam hits
there's this small little like, like a flash.
So it obscures exactly what you're hitting.
On the other side, Shane, you're like, that's her head.
That's her head.
That's her head.
You hit her head and nothing but her head.
You mean Lilip?
Lilip's head.
Lilip loses three points of strength.
Why am I bad at rays? Why am I bad at rays?
Why am I bad at spells?
Squim?
Can I get my chicken a chill touch?
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Chill touch.
Should I just not participate in fights?
You deal four points of damage to the creature.
Hey!
And it loses one point of strength.
It seems that the most damage that it gets us...
It's you.
Are you a villain?
I just don't understand.
What a twist.
Does my rages have a chance to hit?
If it turns out that you're working for a mercenary group against us,
I'd be like, it makes sense.
Any ranged attack has a chance to hit something that is next to or in the same square.
Am I just that unlucky?
Yeah, it's just unlock. Man.? Yeah, it's just unluck.
Man.
Unluck? It's just poor luck.
It's just unluck. I've just got really bad unluck.
Jackson, when most people have a luck organ,
Jackson has an unluck organ.
Fucking hell.
Most people have an organ that takes the bad luck out of what they eat
and then you poop it out.
Not Jack.
Two anuses. A bad luck anus and just one for regular feces.
Anyway, Squim, it's your turn.
So in order to attack these people, has Scorpion Mate walked off the eggs?
No, it's still standing on the eggs.
You guys came to meet it.
Silly.
Every time Squim uses his Eldritch Blast He has the same Sort of chance you do
He just doesn't hit
God damn
He just doesn't do it
Yeah
Alright
Do you have a
Potion of healing
Or anything
I don't have any
Healing-y stuff
Alright
Because you might
Want to pour it down
Lillip's gullet
Can I
While it's
While this creature
Is grappling Lillip
There's no real chance
That you can get
Any potion into her mouth
Is she in there tight
Like beyond
Being able to like pulled out
with a rope sort of thing?
You could try, but like looping
it around her. Grappling hook though.
Like you gotta be so careful that you don't
just hang her while you're trying to do this.
I do have like a used rope
thing on my thingy thing.
Good talking, Michael.
You'd have to tie the rope.
You'd have to tie it up first. Could he not just grapple a...
I think...
Just kill the...
Just go the scorpion.
Okay, okay.
Our best bet is to go the scorpion.
I'm a...
Fuck, but Lilip's so close.
It's all right.
You've got a lot better luck than I do.
Okay, I'm just going to go for it.
I'm going to Eldritch Blast from the ceiling.
It's directly below me, so it has a gravity modifier.
You do actually get a bonus to attack from a high ground.
I've been calculating that in.
Plus your point blank shot.
That's it.
Actually, you might need all the bonuses you can get for this attack.
I like that because you've had a couple of criticals that have changed your magic.
It's like the wellspring you're getting magic from just occasionally is the wrong one.
Sometimes you just reach back.
I didn't want to charm it.
What the fuck?
Mystery.
Also, I don't know if I should take an accuracy
modifier because my eyes are streaming with tears
but I think that actually is instilling
my focus more than anything else.
It's a good thing you didn't take a penalty
because your blast misses the creature
and comes perilously close to hitting Lilith.
Goodness gracious.
Does it hit an egg?
Highs or lows?
Highs.
You blast an egg.
Yes!
Fuck you!
That's the best.
Kill its babies.
Kill its babies. That's where its power is. It's like a boss battle best. Kill its babies. Kill its babies.
That's where its power is.
It's like a boss battle.
I'll kill babies.
I don't give a fuck.
You see the half-formed body of one of its babies slip out.
We're eating that.
That's going to be food.
I don't need it.
I've got the stone.
Neither of us need to eat, but I'm joining you in this feast.
The knight's eating that.
It'll be poisoned or something it's not gonna go
right we'll feed we'll feed lilip yeah to it no we'll feed it all right the meat yeah or like
it screeches when you destroy one of its eggs and then it just casually like a ragdoll
throws lilip away she slams into a wall And slides down to the bottom I can't reach it
I can't thrive
Just pour a health potion
Didn't I give you
The two health potions that I have
You used one on me
Didn't I give them to you
Shane
Attack the
Health potions
I'm pretty sure I gave you
Or mentioned that we should anyway
But now I feel like it's kind of like
Now I feel like we kind of
Yeah, you don't want to be like
Oh yeah, I did it last time
But I'm pretty sure I did
See, I'm like an idiot
I've got a potion of cure moderate wounds times two
But I know I've used one
And I probably used another
But I don't remember
I don't remember.
I don't know. Adam's choice.
Sorry?
You haven't been marking it down?
Whatever's the worst?
None.
There you go.
We had a discussion to give him health potions but I'm not sure if we did.
If you haven't been marking it down,
I'm mad at you.
That's fair.
Adam is not a benevolent. I'm like'm like hey why don't you roll 50-50
No no no
That's fine I'll just heal it with my normal medical knowledge
You can stabilise her and worry about the rest of it later
I'll attack the bugger luck
You cut off one of its six legs
Got it
Fuck you
Green ichor spurts out every time its little heart beats.
And its heart's beating very fast.
So it's like a machine gun almost.
I want to challenge it, but it can't speak.
You don't know.
It might be intelligent.
Challenge it.
All right.
You want to challenge it?
I'll challenge it.
You get your knight's challenge.
Then I'll fuck off. It's an intelligent creature. Fuck off. All right. I challenged it and then I attack. Challenge it. All right. You want to challenge it? I'll challenge it. You get your knight's challenge. Then I'll...
Fuck off.
It's an intelligent creature.
Fuck off.
All right, I challenged it, and then I attack.
Damn it.
These things have a language.
Fuck off.
Makes our baby murder a little darker.
Yeah.
That's fine.
Fuck this creature.
It's a scorpion.
All right, yeah, challenge it, then I attack it.
Yep.
Well, you do extra damage then.
Cheek.
You deal 13 instead of 12 points of damage.
That's good, mate.
Chop off a couple legs, maybe.
You chop it off higher up.
Same leg, just higher up.
Still good.
It continues to screech in pain, but now it's pain of losing a child and also pain of losing a limb.
Oh, no.
We're bad people.
No, it's a scorpion person. It killed
my woman. It killed his woman.
It killed my woman.
You don't know she's dead yet.
You don't know she's your woman.
A lot of assumptions going
on in this dungeon. Anton, it's your turn.
I'd like to scurry over to Lillip
and try and stabilize her.
You put your hands
on her, but every now and then you're like,
what's going on with the scorpion?
You can't concentrate on...
You can't concentrate on what you're doing.
And swim.
It's still on the babies?
Yes.
You could probably reach her now
if you want to stabilize her.
No, no, kill the other babies.
But you could kill the creature.
Time could be critical.
You don't know.
On Lilith? Yeah, you don't know. On Lilith.
Yeah, you don't know.
I suppose this is my character.
I should...
Okay, I run over and I...
Scurry over.
Yeah, I scurry over.
I climb down and try and stabilize her.
Showing the same attention we paid the rooster.
So, you climb down.
You're next to her.
You start trying to staunch the bleeding.
And you realize you don't need to staunch the bleeding because she's not bleeding anymore
i change class and go into a barbarian rage
i'll allow a free attack if you want you want to have your attack still? I'll allow it. Okay. I sprint towards the...
Oh, wow.
Okay.
I sprint towards the villain.
I shout,
Wonder Burning Hands!
And I slide across the ground,
and with my burning hands,
I grab the eggs and immolate her young...
Fuck, that's the best.
I guess we're having roasted scorpion.
Roasted infant.
You deal 12 points of damage to all of the eggs, cooking them.
Shit, yes, hard-boiled.
You get some hard-boiled eggs.
You deal 12 damage to the creature, killing it.
It collapses onto its hard-boiled children,
and you deal six points of damage to your good friend Shane.
He gets caught up in the blast.
I like that because you're on the other end,
you're just like, what the fuck's happening?
On fire!
Everybody's dead.
Dang.
Chod.
The creature is dead.
Its eggs are destroyed and cooked.
Lilip is dead.
And Shane took a little damage.
Um, okay.
Wait. My rooster's
fine. I return to Lilip and
embrace her and sort of sob and cry.
Uh, yelling, why?
Why?
This is too beautiful for this world. Truly is.
Uh, they?
Gloom!
Gloom comes into the room
when summit
yeah yeah
yes
uh with uh
lilip is uh
lilip is best
is there no more
she's fine
she's
she's so sleepy
like she's smiling
there
there are
there are
back at the
the university
there are many
learned people
some of whom might
might be able to bring her back.
Yes.
I guess.
But, you know, a level deep in the dungeon.
I'll carry her.
I'm carrying you, Lelip.
Well, what do you want to...
She will weigh you down.
Like, presumably you've got to come back this way. Yeah, that's true. So if you want to prop She will weigh you down. Like, worth it. Presumably you've got to come back this way.
Yeah, that's true.
So if you want to prop her up in the corner.
Feels great to end ceremonious.
She's like dead dead, right?
Like dead dead.
Well, let's give her a...
Let's loot her.
And then bury her in sand.
You're right.
It's the right thing to do.
It's the right thing to do.
Fuck adventurers sometimes.
Like, it's practical. I just killed a whole family For no reason
Imagine cracking open those hard boiled eggs
Because it's like hard boiled egg and then fetus
Like inside
A delicious
A crunchy core
What's a balut?
It's like a Filipino dish
Like a half grown chicken
Gross as I don't know if they cook them though But we did Balut. Balut. It's like a Filipino dish. Yeah. Where it's just like a half-grown chicken.
Gross as.
I don't know if they cook them, though.
Yeah, I'm not sure either.
But we did.
Crack.
Yeah.
Just straighten them out.
I don't know.
So, on her body, you find some basic equipment.
Nothing that you guys would necessarily be interested in.
50 gold, nine silver, if anyone wants that. I desperately search for a love letter.
No such luck.
She has a holy symbol
to a god that none
of you would be able to place, actually.
Have it around your neck as a reminder of the woman you loved.
Yeah, yeah, I take
that if I can. Actually, one of
you can place it, for an odd reason.
Shane, this symbol looks surprisingly
similar to the one you saw upstairs.
On the statue. On the statue.
On the statue.
I guess that's why she was praying so hard.
She worshipped that statue.
Anyway, there you go.
I like that we've all as a group just been like, man, they were in love.
Yeah.
Other than that.
You're right.
We're all just like, they were so fucking beautiful together.
She had some basic
Magical equipment
That you guys might want
A magical chain shirt
Who here uses light armor?
Oh
Squim
You use light armor
Well would it be
Maybe more benefit
On the lad
With less HP
If he wears
Any type of armor
It hampers his magic
He needs all the help
He definitely does
Yeah
So
So do I put my
Like that light chain armor
on my arm?
Are we just stripping her corpse naked?
Between sobbing
and grabbing her shirt.
It was your idea.
I'll take the armor, but I'd like to keep
her modesty intact.
She's wearing clothes underneath.
Does that give just up his AC?
Yeah, your AC is higher now.
Looks like jealous.
Two points higher.
Nice.
And is that for...
Wait, wait.
You don't necessarily need to note it down there.
I just want to ask,
maybe if your ray of enfeeblement didn't hit her,
maybe she would have lived.
Just, like, sew that into the seeds of...
I say nothing
but my eyes
say
tomes
it's like
you know
you know you rave
and people would hit her
in the
it was
L-A-V-R
counterpoint
yeah
and should I put down
next to my studded leather
chain thing as well
or is it
one of the
either or
you can only wear one at a time
okay so I'll just go chain
what's it called again
chain
chain shirt plus one she might not have that she had a You can only wear one at a time Okay so I'll just go chain What's it called again? Chain Chain shirt
Plus one
She might not have that
She had a
Plus one
Heavy steel shield
Shane what shield do you use?
A plus one
Heavy steel shield
Just keep it for loot
Or you can leave it here
I'll leave it here
Put it on the front of her
Like a
A magical composite longbow
None of you here
Have the specialty required To use that longbow Nah Nevermind Put the front of her like a... A magical composite longbow. None of you here have the specialty required to use that longbow.
No.
Never mind.
Put the shield on her proper.
She had a magic longbow?
Then why was she hitting shit with it?
Idiot.
You were the ones who were like, bring her into close combat.
Well, I didn't know she had a...
She preferred to use magic when she could.
Oh, well.
The rest is...
I'm using my glass shiv, which brought us so close together,
I take a locket of her hair and braid it into my own.
It's messed up, but you get it done.
It's touching, but not.
It's like touching if you just come in now.
It's touching if you were a couple.
I'm going to leave
off to Anton.
Were they dating
before this?
I'm assuming.
I think close her eyelids
and just put some sand.
No, no, no.
We should bury her
in sand, I think.
In the sand
in case other mercs
come and defile her body.
There's a lot of sand
in this room.
Put their arms
in the sand.
But we take note of where
she's buried can i guess look at the uh creature i guess and i guess loot it yeah can we loot its
treasure pouches god i feel a bit bad like like this is metagaming now this is michael here i feel
a bit bad for killing the kids like because she died as well like i originally wanted to like
go to the like have my
burning hands ready go to the eggs and be like you are you fucking you watch yourself now love
but then i killed it and then it died so it didn't even have like at the same time as a kid
like what kind of a life is it so you're feeling bad because it didn't suffer well no more than i
guess i could have just killed it, and then we might have
had a fun little scorpion egg friend.
And then when it's birthed and it's like,
what happened to mummy?
Heart attack. Nothing. Who knows what?
We are your mummy. It is part of a
long-dying race.
So it's an extinct
creature as well. Becoming extinct.
They protect themselves from the desert heat by burrowing,
but many of these discover sand-covered ruins.
Once discovered, they are able to use their...
Oh, they have psychic abilities, which it never displayed.
It didn't have enough time.
They are not scavengers.
They hunt prey on the desert surface.
They are always eager for the next tasty meal.
It doesn't usually hunt creatures a small or smaller size,
preferring to bring down big game that can provide it with food for days.
In our defense, we did try and get this non-confrontationally.
It attacked us like a dickhead.
And we were chilled.
And then once it was charmed, we were like, hey, we'll just walk past.
But we talked for too long about that.
Now I can teleport. Well, I'm glad we killed it in many ways. Once it was charmed, we were like, hey, we'll just walk past, but we talked for too long about that.
Now I can teleport.
Well, I'm glad we killed it in many ways.
I hope it enjoyed its teleportation to fucking hell.
Yeah.
Oh, well.
Look, now we have no healer.
Good.
Sweet.
Can I take points of sad damage for the rest of the game?
You can roll yourself some sad damage if you'd like.
Why did I say that?
You don't have any dice.
It's an empty threat.
Okay.
You recover from in the nest.
17.
Hang on.
17 gold?
No.
Yeah?
Wait.
Yeah?
No, 1,700. Uh, 170 gold.
Still, that's decent.
170 gold.
Yeah, you write down the gold.
Yeah, yeah.
I became treasurer for some reason.
And look, you want to have my potions of...
I'll raise them here.
You write cure light wounds, potions of, times two.
Done.
So Lilip didn't have any potions to loot?
No.
No.
You guys only have the potions on your backs.
That's not an expression.
I mean, but it should be.
And magical gloves.
Let's see if you guys know what they are.
I need all the help I can get.
If I can wear these gloves, I'm taking them.
You figured as much.
Between the lot of you, you're able to identify them as gloves of dexterity.
So wearing them improves your dexterity score.
Kind of useless for you, Jan. Makes your AC a little dexterity score. Kind of useless for you, Jan.
Makes your AC a little higher.
Oh, does it? Good for you, Jan.
I'll take them.
Do you have anything on your hands already?
No.
Yep, so gloves of dexterity plus two.
What does it bump up my AC to?
20.
Woo! Woo!
Really?
Yep.
That's significantly more than I had.
Your armor cost will only go up by one, though.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, still, that's good. Other by one, though. Oh, I see. Yeah, still.
That's good.
Other than that, though, the nest is empty.
It doesn't look like it was scavenging these items.
It just looks like it happened to,
in the course of collecting for the nest,
it collected these items.
All right.
Did you want to say a little prayer for Lilip, I guess?
Say a little prayer.
I repeat the prayer that she said at the statue.
Can you remember it?
You do a good job of remembering it.
Hey, nice.
Redemption for Squim.
And let's take the Zammetwood door.
Yep, Zammetwood door.
So the Zammetwood door leads to a...
Zammetwood does sound like some fantasy kind of...
Like a wood.
A short corridor with a door at the end.
This door, instead of being made out of stone or sandstone,
is made out of some sort of wood
that looks like it stood the
test of time. There's an elaborate
carving in the wood. I detect magic on the door.
The door detects of
abjuration magic, which
you would assume to be a protection
spell. Okay. So,
assume it is trapped?
Potentially.
Have a look for traps.
Do you mean in the corridor or on the door?
Corridor.
Gentle look for traps.
Gingerly.
Oh, hang on.
Out of gay, out of character.
Like, you could just grab Lillip's body,
throw it down.
I mean...
But I don't want to because I'm a knight basically the best thing to come if
you don't have a rogue have a bowling ball or a cannonball and just roll it down the corridor
we have the next best thing what's that cooked scorpion eggs they're all crushed
it fell on them when it got back to i'm there just like stomping their ashes. What do we want them for?
You wander down the corridor.
You find no traps.
Gloom.
Gloom, do you want to have a look?
Have a look at this.
Any inscriptive moves?
Yeah, the door.
He moves over to the door.
It's just an elaborate sort of, there's no words.
It's just an elaborate sort of... There's no words. It's just an elaborate carving of an elf.
In his centre, in his chest,
there's a small hole that looks like a key goes in it.
Can we try and open the door?
The door has no handle to open,
and when you push it, it doesn't budge.
Now, if I know dungeons,
this is like there is at least two other rooms that we have three.
Is that must be where the key is?
That one, two, and three back there.
Is that where the chest?
So in one of the rooms.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, So we'll go to the Shankswoods one. Shankswoods? Let's do it. Shankswood definitely sounds like a fantasy location. Yeah, it does.
The Shankswood, where the king met his...
There.
We don't talk of Shankswood anymore.
What's a king do?
It's real simple.
He just fell in a crick
And broke his neck
There was just this wet log he was trying to walk across
And it broke, it happened to anyone
Unceremonious
It was a real bummer
And on that lighter note of revelry
Our heroes wander deeper in
What will they find?
Find out next time on
Buried Beneath, a D&D is for Nerds adventure.
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