D&D is For Nerds - Buried Beneath #11 Lillip

Episode Date: April 25, 2017

In which our heroes lose a friend. Shane is worried about not fighting fair, Anton has an unluck organ instead of a luck organ and Squim briefly becomes a barbarian.Want to help support the show?Sansp...ants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: sanspantsradio@gmail.com Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadShanks: twitter.com/timtimfedZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Sands Pants Plus. It's very similar to Patreon. In fact, you can use your Patreon login on the site if you'd like. But to reflect the new service, we've made some changes to the reward structure. And while the $5 tier remains mostly unchanged, for $10 a month, you'll be getting a heap of bonus content in the future. The first is titled The Plumbing Boys Play Slash Ruin Sunless Citadel, as well as suggest a topic for any of the shows in the Sandspants Network.
Starting point is 00:00:53 And for $25 a month, you get to suggest an NPC for Adam to use in future campaigns and a D&Ds for Nerds season pass, which means as soon as we have a campaign ready, you'll be the first ones to hear it in its entirety. Just head to santspantsplus.com and sign up today. Welcome to episode 11 of Buried Beneath, a D&D's for Nerds adventure. I'm Jackson Bailey, and I'll be playing the part of Anton de Saussure. I'm Michael Shanks, and I'll be playing the part of Squim Norton.
Starting point is 00:01:26 I'm Joel Zammert, playing the part of Squim Norton I'm Joel Zamet Playing the part of Shane Noll I reckon I'll be The DM today, Adam Previously All three of you are crowded around A rooster trying to prevent it from Dying
Starting point is 00:01:40 We'll have a rest, Gloom can keep observing his statue Yes, I would like to analyze the statue. Thank you, thank you. Why have you come here, traveler? Why did our warning not deter you? You stand in a place where you should never have come. The surveyor who came through here, he sold this information to many different people.
Starting point is 00:01:57 It's in my opinion that we should probably board this up and not come down here. However, if you don't, others are going to. Let them make a request that I never have to do that again. And with a tremendous cracking and thunderous
Starting point is 00:02:14 sound, the stone splits in two and falls to either side. This creature shares some traits in common with a scorpion, but one that has grown to monstrous size and adopted a partially upright posture. It looks a little surprised to see you.
Starting point is 00:02:28 You look a little surprised to see it. It's this whole awkward scenario. All three of you, plus Lillip and Gloom, gaze at the scorpion creature as it considers you from the nest in turn. The giant scorpion, standing scorpion creature Moves over So it is standing over its eggs Ah, clever So the scorpion is currently huddling over its eggs
Starting point is 00:02:51 Yep, looks very protective of them Can I like shimmy around To the other door Which door, the Zametwood's door Or the Shankswood door Can I just like shimmy around the edge With my shield up in a defensive stance And just try and see what it does?
Starting point is 00:03:06 Which direction, sorry? Let's go Zametwood. Just to be like, maybe it won't attack. Yeah. And I'll say you have just a readied action. Readied action is, so say, for example, in this scenario where you're like, what's going on? Don't know what I want to do. You can have a readied action, which is like, if it charges me, I attack.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Right. So, yeah, you just prepare yourself for something. Then it is... Anton's turn. I didn't actually know it's Epony. You're in the far back. You wasted your turn. Squim.
Starting point is 00:03:39 I ready. Like, can I ready a move? Yeah, what would you like to ready? I ready. Like, can I ready a move? Yeah, what would you like to ready? I'm going to ready my wand of burning hands and also skirt the walls. You'll need to be within, so obviously the listeners can't see,
Starting point is 00:03:57 but you'll need to be within 15 feet, so three squares you need to be away from it. No more. Okay, well, then I'll just ready my Eldrick Blast and just kind of of again, follow Shane. I like his thinking of perhaps a non-confrontational solution. Maybe it won't get us. You have that ball of energy in your hand ready to throw when you need to. I like to imagine, like what the hell am I even hearing? Like open it up.
Starting point is 00:04:16 There's like a... Nothing. Silence. Oh, coming back. Lilip takes a couple steps backwards. You can see that she's gazing at something out of your distance down the corridor back Lilip takes a couple steps backwards You can see that she's gazing at something out of your distance Down the corridor Lilip She looks over to you
Starting point is 00:04:30 Quite obviously she's backed up for your benefit What is it? She mouths rather than talking You're not sure why, but no one else has said anything So Lilip is assuming that you're being quiet for a reason Ah yeah, we always do this very non-verbal Yeah, nobody's ever like, okay, we're doing this. We're always like,
Starting point is 00:04:46 we don't want the scorpion to know our plans. Lilip turns to you, Anton, and mouths... What does she even mouth? Do you understand what she mouths? Swamp green.
Starting point is 00:04:58 She mouths a word. What? Lilip, what? Anyway. The creature charges. Bullshit. All right, both of you get your attacks. Dog shit.
Starting point is 00:05:12 First, Shane, you attack with your bastard sword. Yep, try and get its back legs, make it real fucking stupid and topple over like a dickhead. Clever. You slash and successfully your sword doesn't cut in between the chitinous armor. It cuts straight through the chitinous armor. You hammer straight through it. Dealing five damage. Nice.
Starting point is 00:05:35 Hey, it's something. What can I do? Adam will just kill my goddamn chicken if I send it in. Still loaded up with a chill touch, I think. Yeah, it is. Then swim. You. Oh.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Oh. Nice. Nice. At point blank range, you can't miss its arm. Also, I have a feat of point blank shot, if that means anything. Point blank shot? Yeah, no. Extra damage, extra attack.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Yeah, it does mean something. I love you, man. Normal damage and target is charmed for three rounds. Shit, yes. So that magical energy that you draw, when you first draw it, you're like, it feels a little weird. There's nothing off to this magic,
Starting point is 00:06:18 but you're like, just throw it. Just let it go. The Eldritch Bolt strikes it dead in the head, and you can see it seems a little like what's going on what was that it seems confused and it doesn't attack hey you made it fall in love with you god what a lotharia you deal five points of damage to it, and then it sort of just stops. Go crush its eggs. Back to its eggs.
Starting point is 00:06:49 And just huddles over them. It seems to go quiet. So it's not going to attack us for three turns. Yep. Yeah. Well, if you attack it, then the spell is broken. You have three turns to do whatever you want. Does tying it up count as an attack? It might resist that.
Starting point is 00:07:03 It considers you a friend. Right. So you can... I'm going to play a little that. It considers you a friend. Right. So you can... I'm going to play a little game. It's a game of call and tie-up. It's a bit of fun. Just try communicating with this. Well, it already loves me.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Tell me it would understand if you're like, it's a game, we're just tying you up. I'm sure it'll figure it out. It's clever enough. I mean, try if you want. As a knight, I can't attack it, can I? Because if it considers you a friend, it would be an unwarranted attack. All right, I must raise my shield.
Starting point is 00:07:33 The fuck happened? Well, it loves me now, and by extension you. God, I reckon we got a couple of turns, whatever that means, to 18 seconds. You know you have scant moments, you would say. Yeah, we've got probably three scant moments. We could call the others and just sort of vamoose this goose. Get Lillip in. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:55 We could just leave. We could just leave. Or we could steal an egg. I kind of want to steal an egg. Steal an egg. Yeah, but then it's just going to attack. Well, yeah. But we might come back to this room
Starting point is 00:08:05 It could be sort of a hotline Well, there's two doors here And we're going to have to deal with it anyway Alright, so should we just Ready it Like, get the lip in here And we'll just surround it And then when it
Starting point is 00:08:14 I can get close I'm not there Ah, rats Brave and feeble Yeah, can we surround it And all attack it at once? Like, to break it out of its trance Do you reckon that'll work?
Starting point is 00:08:24 Yeah Would we get a surprise attack? you attacked it yeah yeah it's not expecting an attack from you guys although you can't attack it until we attack it first i'm like i mean look it's um you can do the finishing block guys it's it's not real fair on the creature but look you guys can do it but not for me all right it's a bit unsportsmanly, isn't it? I feel like you've had way too much time to talk. You have technically 18 seconds before it starts attacking again. You just condensed that conversation.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Do we get it? I don't want to. I'm going to allow anyone to move. So move yourself wherever in the room you want to be, and I'm going to just jump straight to the fighting. Why is Gloom right next to us? Let's leave Gloom. Why is Gloom in the room?
Starting point is 00:09:11 We'll be in the corridor. Gloom takes a couple steps back. Gloom is no windiness. And can you put me next to Lilip? And I would like to send my chicken into me just underneath it. Can I spider walk so I'm above it? Yeah, right above it? Yeah, so I'm like directly above it.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Actually, no way. It can't reach up to get you. You're in a position where... So I'm going to stick you next to it here because I can't. There's no roof on this tile thing for me to stick you to. But we know you're on the roof. Cool. Then combat begins again when the aura of magic around it wears off.
Starting point is 00:09:42 And it's like, hang on a minute. Hold the goddamn phone. Do we get a surprise? Oh. You spent too much time dawdling. Fair, fair. We did dawdle. We dawdled hard.
Starting point is 00:09:52 That is on us. I got too close. I'm going to die. What if I throw my voice for four minutes? You just fucking wait till we come across human enemies When those mercenaries Come down
Starting point is 00:10:08 When those mercenaries come down And we gotta sneak our way through I will be so fucking useful Till then The opposite Okay so it has two claws One claw it bashes At you Shane
Starting point is 00:10:24 But you bring up your shield, deflect the blow. One of its claws, it scoops up Lilip and lifts her up into the air. We'll get to that in a moment. My girl. Then it tries to bite you. Motherfucker. Again, Shane. It fails to bite you.
Starting point is 00:10:42 And then it tries to sting you. It fails to sting you. Okay. I'm sorry. When it picks her up into the air. Oh, no. Yes. Left reeling. Double damage and target takes negative two AC for That's fine. Whatever. Lilip's guys. Give Lilip some bloody
Starting point is 00:11:02 credit. Yeah, whatever. So from the initial attack, just went, and it grabs her. We're going to lose our main last Lilip. Not going to lie, I did not think Lilip was going to be the first to die. No. I honestly thought, are you, Jack? Yeah, me too. But once she dies, we all die because we are not healers.
Starting point is 00:11:22 She takes 34 points of damage. Oh, no. Oh, damage. Oh, no. Oh, goodness. Putting her on five hit points. Adamasa, I'm bad. That's not good. Then, just as it starts squeezing her, she takes... Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:11:37 No. Dead Lilip. Pour a 40 out for our homie. She's gone. Oh, God. There's like some... Adam's tension This is
Starting point is 00:11:45 Come on She goes limp in its claws Lillip Shane I'm gonna try and Cut off her Its claw That's holding Lillip
Starting point is 00:12:03 You swing mightily at its claw. The claw is, you know how you get a crab's arms? Crab's arms are so much, the armor is so much thicker than the chest. I'm an idiot. So when you swing down on its claw, at first you're like, yeah I cut through its chitin before.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Then you strike and you're like, oh the chitin here is so much thicker. And your sword just bounces off doing no damage. You chip a little bit of your bastard sword. Piece of shit. Fuck. Crab chip. Anton?
Starting point is 00:12:32 Raven feeblement. So there are three people you could potentially hit. Can we just have a moment before you do that? Yeah. Remember what happened last time? And the time before that. And maybe every time you've cast this spell. No, I got something once. you do that. Remember what happened last time. And the time before that. And maybe every time you've cast this spell. No, I got something
Starting point is 00:12:48 once. Your rooster still has chill touch. But I could do both. What if I do this? That's my movement. My movement's 30. You're moving into the room? Yeah. So you want to position yourself so you... Just like I'm away. They're all on one side of it. I'm going to hit it from the back. Hit it from the back.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Erotic. Yeah. Then I'm Then everyone's out of the fucking way. Plus, then I get my chicken to touch it at the same time. Double whammy. How's it look? How's it look? No, no. No, no, Adam. Not that face.
Starting point is 00:13:20 So, you know how I've always described it as like the beam, you know, goes across the room or something like that Not this time You're like, this time I got it I'm just going to shoot one way in one direction and because it's so big How could I miss? If I just fire and I don't move the beam
Starting point is 00:13:38 Literally, I'd have to be an idiot to miss So you fire and you don't move the beam and where the beam hits there's this small little like, like a flash. So it obscures exactly what you're hitting. On the other side, Shane, you're like, that's her head. That's her head. That's her head.
Starting point is 00:13:54 You hit her head and nothing but her head. You mean Lilip? Lilip's head. Lilip loses three points of strength. Why am I bad at rays? Why am I bad at rays? Why am I bad at spells? Squim? Can I get my chicken a chill touch?
Starting point is 00:14:10 Oh, yeah, sorry. Chill touch. Should I just not participate in fights? You deal four points of damage to the creature. Hey! And it loses one point of strength. It seems that the most damage that it gets us... It's you.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Are you a villain? I just don't understand. What a twist. Does my rages have a chance to hit? If it turns out that you're working for a mercenary group against us, I'd be like, it makes sense. Any ranged attack has a chance to hit something that is next to or in the same square. Am I just that unlucky?
Starting point is 00:14:43 Yeah, it's just unlock. Man.? Yeah, it's just unluck. Man. Unluck? It's just poor luck. It's just unluck. I've just got really bad unluck. Jackson, when most people have a luck organ, Jackson has an unluck organ. Fucking hell. Most people have an organ that takes the bad luck out of what they eat
Starting point is 00:15:00 and then you poop it out. Not Jack. Two anuses. A bad luck anus and just one for regular feces. Anyway, Squim, it's your turn. So in order to attack these people, has Scorpion Mate walked off the eggs? No, it's still standing on the eggs. You guys came to meet it. Silly.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Every time Squim uses his Eldritch Blast He has the same Sort of chance you do He just doesn't hit God damn He just doesn't do it Yeah Alright Do you have a Potion of healing
Starting point is 00:15:30 Or anything I don't have any Healing-y stuff Alright Because you might Want to pour it down Lillip's gullet Can I
Starting point is 00:15:35 While it's While this creature Is grappling Lillip There's no real chance That you can get Any potion into her mouth Is she in there tight Like beyond
Starting point is 00:15:44 Being able to like pulled out with a rope sort of thing? You could try, but like looping it around her. Grappling hook though. Like you gotta be so careful that you don't just hang her while you're trying to do this. I do have like a used rope thing on my thingy thing.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Good talking, Michael. You'd have to tie the rope. You'd have to tie it up first. Could he not just grapple a... I think... Just kill the... Just go the scorpion. Okay, okay. Our best bet is to go the scorpion.
Starting point is 00:16:13 I'm a... Fuck, but Lilip's so close. It's all right. You've got a lot better luck than I do. Okay, I'm just going to go for it. I'm going to Eldritch Blast from the ceiling. It's directly below me, so it has a gravity modifier. You do actually get a bonus to attack from a high ground.
Starting point is 00:16:30 I've been calculating that in. Plus your point blank shot. That's it. Actually, you might need all the bonuses you can get for this attack. I like that because you've had a couple of criticals that have changed your magic. It's like the wellspring you're getting magic from just occasionally is the wrong one. Sometimes you just reach back. I didn't want to charm it.
Starting point is 00:16:49 What the fuck? Mystery. Also, I don't know if I should take an accuracy modifier because my eyes are streaming with tears but I think that actually is instilling my focus more than anything else. It's a good thing you didn't take a penalty because your blast misses the creature
Starting point is 00:17:06 and comes perilously close to hitting Lilith. Goodness gracious. Does it hit an egg? Highs or lows? Highs. You blast an egg. Yes! Fuck you!
Starting point is 00:17:21 That's the best. Kill its babies. Kill its babies. That's where its power is. It's like a boss battle best. Kill its babies. Kill its babies. That's where its power is. It's like a boss battle. I'll kill babies. I don't give a fuck. You see the half-formed body of one of its babies slip out.
Starting point is 00:17:35 We're eating that. That's going to be food. I don't need it. I've got the stone. Neither of us need to eat, but I'm joining you in this feast. The knight's eating that. It'll be poisoned or something it's not gonna go right we'll feed we'll feed lilip yeah to it no we'll feed it all right the meat yeah or like
Starting point is 00:17:53 it screeches when you destroy one of its eggs and then it just casually like a ragdoll throws lilip away she slams into a wall And slides down to the bottom I can't reach it I can't thrive Just pour a health potion Didn't I give you The two health potions that I have You used one on me Didn't I give them to you
Starting point is 00:18:17 Shane Attack the Health potions I'm pretty sure I gave you Or mentioned that we should anyway But now I feel like it's kind of like Now I feel like we kind of Yeah, you don't want to be like
Starting point is 00:18:33 Oh yeah, I did it last time But I'm pretty sure I did See, I'm like an idiot I've got a potion of cure moderate wounds times two But I know I've used one And I probably used another But I don't remember I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:18:46 I don't know. Adam's choice. Sorry? You haven't been marking it down? Whatever's the worst? None. There you go. We had a discussion to give him health potions but I'm not sure if we did. If you haven't been marking it down,
Starting point is 00:19:02 I'm mad at you. That's fair. Adam is not a benevolent. I'm like'm like hey why don't you roll 50-50 No no no That's fine I'll just heal it with my normal medical knowledge You can stabilise her and worry about the rest of it later I'll attack the bugger luck You cut off one of its six legs
Starting point is 00:19:22 Got it Fuck you Green ichor spurts out every time its little heart beats. And its heart's beating very fast. So it's like a machine gun almost. I want to challenge it, but it can't speak. You don't know. It might be intelligent.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Challenge it. All right. You want to challenge it? I'll challenge it. You get your knight's challenge. Then I'll fuck off. It's an intelligent creature. Fuck off. All right. I challenged it and then I attack. Challenge it. All right. You want to challenge it? I'll challenge it. You get your knight's challenge. Then I'll... Fuck off. It's an intelligent creature.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Fuck off. All right, I challenged it, and then I attack. Damn it. These things have a language. Fuck off. Makes our baby murder a little darker. Yeah. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Fuck this creature. It's a scorpion. All right, yeah, challenge it, then I attack it. Yep. Well, you do extra damage then. Cheek. You deal 13 instead of 12 points of damage. That's good, mate.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Chop off a couple legs, maybe. You chop it off higher up. Same leg, just higher up. Still good. It continues to screech in pain, but now it's pain of losing a child and also pain of losing a limb. Oh, no. We're bad people. No, it's a scorpion person. It killed
Starting point is 00:20:26 my woman. It killed his woman. It killed my woman. You don't know she's dead yet. You don't know she's your woman. A lot of assumptions going on in this dungeon. Anton, it's your turn. I'd like to scurry over to Lillip and try and stabilize her.
Starting point is 00:20:42 You put your hands on her, but every now and then you're like, what's going on with the scorpion? You can't concentrate on... You can't concentrate on what you're doing. And swim. It's still on the babies? Yes.
Starting point is 00:20:56 You could probably reach her now if you want to stabilize her. No, no, kill the other babies. But you could kill the creature. Time could be critical. You don't know. On Lilith? Yeah, you don't know. On Lilith. Yeah, you don't know.
Starting point is 00:21:07 I suppose this is my character. I should... Okay, I run over and I... Scurry over. Yeah, I scurry over. I climb down and try and stabilize her. Showing the same attention we paid the rooster. So, you climb down.
Starting point is 00:21:20 You're next to her. You start trying to staunch the bleeding. And you realize you don't need to staunch the bleeding because she's not bleeding anymore i change class and go into a barbarian rage i'll allow a free attack if you want you want to have your attack still? I'll allow it. Okay. I sprint towards the... Oh, wow. Okay. I sprint towards the villain.
Starting point is 00:21:48 I shout, Wonder Burning Hands! And I slide across the ground, and with my burning hands, I grab the eggs and immolate her young... Fuck, that's the best. I guess we're having roasted scorpion. Roasted infant.
Starting point is 00:22:09 You deal 12 points of damage to all of the eggs, cooking them. Shit, yes, hard-boiled. You get some hard-boiled eggs. You deal 12 damage to the creature, killing it. It collapses onto its hard-boiled children, and you deal six points of damage to your good friend Shane. He gets caught up in the blast. I like that because you're on the other end,
Starting point is 00:22:32 you're just like, what the fuck's happening? On fire! Everybody's dead. Dang. Chod. The creature is dead. Its eggs are destroyed and cooked. Lilip is dead.
Starting point is 00:22:44 And Shane took a little damage. Um, okay. Wait. My rooster's fine. I return to Lilip and embrace her and sort of sob and cry. Uh, yelling, why? Why? This is too beautiful for this world. Truly is.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Uh, they? Gloom! Gloom comes into the room when summit yeah yeah yes uh with uh lilip is uh
Starting point is 00:23:08 lilip is best is there no more she's fine she's she's so sleepy like she's smiling there there are
Starting point is 00:23:17 there are back at the the university there are many learned people some of whom might might be able to bring her back. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:29 I guess. But, you know, a level deep in the dungeon. I'll carry her. I'm carrying you, Lelip. Well, what do you want to... She will weigh you down. Like, presumably you've got to come back this way. Yeah, that's true. So if you want to prop She will weigh you down. Like, worth it. Presumably you've got to come back this way. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:23:47 So if you want to prop her up in the corner. Feels great to end ceremonious. She's like dead dead, right? Like dead dead. Well, let's give her a... Let's loot her. And then bury her in sand. You're right.
Starting point is 00:24:01 It's the right thing to do. It's the right thing to do. Fuck adventurers sometimes. Like, it's practical. I just killed a whole family For no reason Imagine cracking open those hard boiled eggs Because it's like hard boiled egg and then fetus Like inside A delicious
Starting point is 00:24:17 A crunchy core What's a balut? It's like a Filipino dish Like a half grown chicken Gross as I don't know if they cook them though But we did Balut. Balut. It's like a Filipino dish. Yeah. Where it's just like a half-grown chicken. Gross as. I don't know if they cook them, though. Yeah, I'm not sure either.
Starting point is 00:24:29 But we did. Crack. Yeah. Just straighten them out. I don't know. So, on her body, you find some basic equipment. Nothing that you guys would necessarily be interested in. 50 gold, nine silver, if anyone wants that. I desperately search for a love letter.
Starting point is 00:24:45 No such luck. She has a holy symbol to a god that none of you would be able to place, actually. Have it around your neck as a reminder of the woman you loved. Yeah, yeah, I take that if I can. Actually, one of you can place it, for an odd reason.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Shane, this symbol looks surprisingly similar to the one you saw upstairs. On the statue. On the statue. On the statue. I guess that's why she was praying so hard. She worshipped that statue. Anyway, there you go. I like that we've all as a group just been like, man, they were in love.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Yeah. Other than that. You're right. We're all just like, they were so fucking beautiful together. She had some basic Magical equipment That you guys might want A magical chain shirt
Starting point is 00:25:29 Who here uses light armor? Oh Squim You use light armor Well would it be Maybe more benefit On the lad With less HP
Starting point is 00:25:37 If he wears Any type of armor It hampers his magic He needs all the help He definitely does Yeah So So do I put my
Starting point is 00:25:44 Like that light chain armor on my arm? Are we just stripping her corpse naked? Between sobbing and grabbing her shirt. It was your idea. I'll take the armor, but I'd like to keep her modesty intact.
Starting point is 00:25:58 She's wearing clothes underneath. Does that give just up his AC? Yeah, your AC is higher now. Looks like jealous. Two points higher. Nice. And is that for... Wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:26:12 You don't necessarily need to note it down there. I just want to ask, maybe if your ray of enfeeblement didn't hit her, maybe she would have lived. Just, like, sew that into the seeds of... I say nothing but my eyes say
Starting point is 00:26:27 tomes it's like you know you know you rave and people would hit her in the it was L-A-V-R
Starting point is 00:26:33 counterpoint yeah and should I put down next to my studded leather chain thing as well or is it one of the either or
Starting point is 00:26:41 you can only wear one at a time okay so I'll just go chain what's it called again chain chain shirt plus one she might not have that she had a You can only wear one at a time Okay so I'll just go chain What's it called again? Chain Chain shirt Plus one She might not have that She had a
Starting point is 00:26:50 Plus one Heavy steel shield Shane what shield do you use? A plus one Heavy steel shield Just keep it for loot Or you can leave it here I'll leave it here
Starting point is 00:26:59 Put it on the front of her Like a A magical composite longbow None of you here Have the specialty required To use that longbow Nah Nevermind Put the front of her like a... A magical composite longbow. None of you here have the specialty required to use that longbow. No. Never mind. Put the shield on her proper.
Starting point is 00:27:09 She had a magic longbow? Then why was she hitting shit with it? Idiot. You were the ones who were like, bring her into close combat. Well, I didn't know she had a... She preferred to use magic when she could. Oh, well. The rest is...
Starting point is 00:27:20 I'm using my glass shiv, which brought us so close together, I take a locket of her hair and braid it into my own. It's messed up, but you get it done. It's touching, but not. It's like touching if you just come in now. It's touching if you were a couple. I'm going to leave off to Anton.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Were they dating before this? I'm assuming. I think close her eyelids and just put some sand. No, no, no. We should bury her in sand, I think.
Starting point is 00:27:58 In the sand in case other mercs come and defile her body. There's a lot of sand in this room. Put their arms in the sand. But we take note of where
Starting point is 00:28:06 she's buried can i guess look at the uh creature i guess and i guess loot it yeah can we loot its treasure pouches god i feel a bit bad like like this is metagaming now this is michael here i feel a bit bad for killing the kids like because she died as well like i originally wanted to like go to the like have my burning hands ready go to the eggs and be like you are you fucking you watch yourself now love but then i killed it and then it died so it didn't even have like at the same time as a kid like what kind of a life is it so you're feeling bad because it didn't suffer well no more than i guess i could have just killed it, and then we might have
Starting point is 00:28:46 had a fun little scorpion egg friend. And then when it's birthed and it's like, what happened to mummy? Heart attack. Nothing. Who knows what? We are your mummy. It is part of a long-dying race. So it's an extinct creature as well. Becoming extinct.
Starting point is 00:29:04 They protect themselves from the desert heat by burrowing, but many of these discover sand-covered ruins. Once discovered, they are able to use their... Oh, they have psychic abilities, which it never displayed. It didn't have enough time. They are not scavengers. They hunt prey on the desert surface. They are always eager for the next tasty meal.
Starting point is 00:29:22 It doesn't usually hunt creatures a small or smaller size, preferring to bring down big game that can provide it with food for days. In our defense, we did try and get this non-confrontationally. It attacked us like a dickhead. And we were chilled. And then once it was charmed, we were like, hey, we'll just walk past. But we talked for too long about that. Now I can teleport. Well, I'm glad we killed it in many ways. Once it was charmed, we were like, hey, we'll just walk past, but we talked for too long about that.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Now I can teleport. Well, I'm glad we killed it in many ways. I hope it enjoyed its teleportation to fucking hell. Yeah. Oh, well. Look, now we have no healer. Good. Sweet.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Can I take points of sad damage for the rest of the game? You can roll yourself some sad damage if you'd like. Why did I say that? You don't have any dice. It's an empty threat. Okay. You recover from in the nest. 17.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Hang on. 17 gold? No. Yeah? Wait. Yeah? No, 1,700. Uh, 170 gold. Still, that's decent.
Starting point is 00:30:27 170 gold. Yeah, you write down the gold. Yeah, yeah. I became treasurer for some reason. And look, you want to have my potions of... I'll raise them here. You write cure light wounds, potions of, times two. Done.
Starting point is 00:30:40 So Lilip didn't have any potions to loot? No. No. You guys only have the potions on your backs. That's not an expression. I mean, but it should be. And magical gloves. Let's see if you guys know what they are.
Starting point is 00:30:53 I need all the help I can get. If I can wear these gloves, I'm taking them. You figured as much. Between the lot of you, you're able to identify them as gloves of dexterity. So wearing them improves your dexterity score. Kind of useless for you, Jan. Makes your AC a little dexterity score. Kind of useless for you, Jan. Makes your AC a little higher. Oh, does it? Good for you, Jan.
Starting point is 00:31:08 I'll take them. Do you have anything on your hands already? No. Yep, so gloves of dexterity plus two. What does it bump up my AC to? 20. Woo! Woo! Really?
Starting point is 00:31:18 Yep. That's significantly more than I had. Your armor cost will only go up by one, though. Oh, I see. Yeah, still, that's good. Other by one, though. Oh, I see. Yeah, still. That's good. Other than that, though, the nest is empty. It doesn't look like it was scavenging these items.
Starting point is 00:31:30 It just looks like it happened to, in the course of collecting for the nest, it collected these items. All right. Did you want to say a little prayer for Lilip, I guess? Say a little prayer. I repeat the prayer that she said at the statue. Can you remember it?
Starting point is 00:31:46 You do a good job of remembering it. Hey, nice. Redemption for Squim. And let's take the Zammetwood door. Yep, Zammetwood door. So the Zammetwood door leads to a... Zammetwood does sound like some fantasy kind of... Like a wood.
Starting point is 00:32:01 A short corridor with a door at the end. This door, instead of being made out of stone or sandstone, is made out of some sort of wood that looks like it stood the test of time. There's an elaborate carving in the wood. I detect magic on the door. The door detects of abjuration magic, which
Starting point is 00:32:20 you would assume to be a protection spell. Okay. So, assume it is trapped? Potentially. Have a look for traps. Do you mean in the corridor or on the door? Corridor. Gentle look for traps.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Gingerly. Oh, hang on. Out of gay, out of character. Like, you could just grab Lillip's body, throw it down. I mean... But I don't want to because I'm a knight basically the best thing to come if you don't have a rogue have a bowling ball or a cannonball and just roll it down the corridor
Starting point is 00:32:53 we have the next best thing what's that cooked scorpion eggs they're all crushed it fell on them when it got back to i'm there just like stomping their ashes. What do we want them for? You wander down the corridor. You find no traps. Gloom. Gloom, do you want to have a look? Have a look at this. Any inscriptive moves?
Starting point is 00:33:17 Yeah, the door. He moves over to the door. It's just an elaborate sort of, there's no words. It's just an elaborate sort of... There's no words. It's just an elaborate carving of an elf. In his centre, in his chest, there's a small hole that looks like a key goes in it. Can we try and open the door? The door has no handle to open,
Starting point is 00:33:36 and when you push it, it doesn't budge. Now, if I know dungeons, this is like there is at least two other rooms that we have three. Is that must be where the key is? That one, two, and three back there. Is that where the chest? So in one of the rooms. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, So we'll go to the Shankswoods one. Shankswoods? Let's do it. Shankswood definitely sounds like a fantasy location. Yeah, it does.
Starting point is 00:34:07 The Shankswood, where the king met his... There. We don't talk of Shankswood anymore. What's a king do? It's real simple. He just fell in a crick And broke his neck There was just this wet log he was trying to walk across
Starting point is 00:34:30 And it broke, it happened to anyone Unceremonious It was a real bummer And on that lighter note of revelry Our heroes wander deeper in What will they find? Find out next time on Buried Beneath, a D&D is for Nerds adventure.
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