D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #20 Daniel
Episode Date: January 10, 2017Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes are so done. We go looking for Daniel, fake a crime scene and double down on our lies. Cassius asks a question she never thought she ever would, Zillie has a sad mom...ent and Edrik is 100% certain that everyone is going to make it out fine. So join us as we make a weasel complicit in our crimes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It's AntsPetsRadio. Be a toucan, not a two-wont.
Hey everyone, are you in Sydney on the 2nd or 3rd of Feb and want to see what me, Jack, Adam and our good friend Joel Doucher look like in the flesh?
Then why not come see us at the Chippendale Hotel? Tickets are available in the show notes, seating is very limited, so get in while you can.
Also, some listeners may find this week's episode a bit distressing, so listener discretion
is advised.
Welcome to episode 20 of Hust Firm a Pride, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Previously...
Edric, you turn around. Cassius, you can just see like the gore, like speckles of gore,
like across his chest and up reaching across his face.
I'd like to continue with my set of denial
and be like, how are you feeling?
With a smile. Does it look like anything's changed?
Um, nothing appears
to have changed. Look at the map. Yeah, I'll take
the map and the note. You can read
the note.
If you attack anyone,
I have not designated. I will
flay the flesh
from your bones. I shouldn't have laughed!
I shouldn't have laughed!
Ah!
So, is this
no, is this definite confirmation
that the elves and drow are working together
or is this more that they're
we're looking for a trade? Seems like effectively
that they're at least in communication
with one another. We never spent a night
together. I don't know why you have a tattoo of me on your arm.
I'm fine.
Okay, I will not push from there.
I just want it known that I care enough to ask
but not enough to push.
Why do you only go with the first thing that works?
Fine, weapons.
I was thinking draw some armor or weapons.
What do you want to paint?
What type of armor or weapon?
Full metal jacket. A healing salve? What do you want to paint? What type of armor or weapon? Full metal. Full metal jacket.
A healing salve?
Yeah.
What do you want the healing salve to do?
Fix the alien fire stuff.
Zilly, you put the finishing touches on your painting
and a small salve of what you presume is something
that will fix the burn victims appears.
Oh, let's...
Oh, guys.
Draw another.
I'd like to continue to draw that while these two buglegs go and, like, use it.
Worm!
Cow!
Can't do a dragon.
You fail the second time.
But you have the first salve.
Maybe you get Zira to help you out with this.
As soon as this salve touches the wounds, the wounds disappear as if they never existed.
I spare a moment of thought that if we'd figured this out quicker,
we could have saved Mistra.
Yeah.
Could we save Mistra now?
No, she's dead.
I don't want to think that.
I don't want a way for our lives to be over.
I'm not going to think that at all.
Nope.
Can we just try a little bit and see what happens?
A little bit of what?
A little bit of Slav.
Slav.
Yeah, no, like I said,
as soon as...
No, she means on Mistra.
Oh.
Does at least her skin heal?
Her skin heals,
but it doesn't stop her.
We can at least give her
a decent burial.
Yeah, like for a burial,
she can look alright.
It's a win for us.
Okay, alright.
Fail again.
What else can we do?
Oh, sorry,
I thought you were just
producing that self.
Can we get someone else
to do it? Who's the best artist? You can ask someone else if you want. Yeah, can we find the best, sorry. I thought you were just producing that self. Can we get someone else to do it?
You can ask someone else if you want.
Yeah, can we find the best artist?
Please don't have someone who is better than me.
Nordic people.
Artistry isn't really what they do.
Maybe that's why.
Yeah, just make enough to heal everyone.
Should we use it for something else?
Fail.
This is 10 minutes every time.
Fail.
Anything else?
Fail.
This is 10 minutes every time.
Fail.
Can we either continue this until we use up all the paint or we cure all the people?
Yeah.
Cool.
So we'll just keep at it until we have enough salve.
However long that takes.
We'll wait.
Can you ask Zilly, do you reckon you could recreate this paint?
Adam, could I recreate this paint?
Whatever magic made this is way beyond us.
I'm going to say you make enough salve to...
Like, not everyone who has been wounded...
Not everyone who is in these things...
Some of it is poison from drow weapons.
Anyone who has been burnt is fine.
Are we kind of loved by the town a little bit?
Well, yeah.
They were reveling like fucking drow dead.
And I was going to be like, let's kill them all and move on.
A lot of people just were brought back.
So it was, the breakdown was, 15 able to fight, 10 mobile, 40 incapacitated.
It's now 10 incapacitated.
30 capable
of fighting.
Enough to defend the town now.
25 who are just mobile.
Enough to go to Lockford.
Run train on Lockford. Oh yes, escape to Lockford.
Probably cleverer.
Lockford is far more secure.
Any horses?
How many horses do we have in this?
Can we fix some horses?
A hot zero.
A hot zero.
Have a lot of horse soup if you want it.
Let's reconstitute a horse out of soup.
How much paint do we have left?
Zero.
That's it.
It's going to be a wooden horse.
You've used up all the paint.
Hey, I'm just curious. We're not going to fucking paint horses. Oh, my God. There you go. Everybody on. That's it. It's gonna be a wooden horse. You've used up all the paint. Hey, that, I'm just curious.
I'm not gonna fucking paint horses.
There you go, everybody on!
Alright, let's put the easel back in there.
Hey, you know what it could have made if you
had made a bit more successes?
Horse, sorry, cart.
Carts.
Hey, I'd rather heal...
He can shape wood out of the
cow. I can!
Can you shape wood out of the cow. I can! Yeah, I was like, can you shape wood out of the cow?
The worm and...
They have wooden barriers, by the way.
You know, they have wood smiths still.
No, but there was no wood.
There's plenty of wood used for the defences.
Okay, I grab Bertram and maybe a couple of the other guards.
Well, not if they're going to escape, are they?
They don't need a fucking wooden cow, Adam.
Can we just get, get like a town meeting?
Yeah.
And be just like, rouse the town.
You can talk with some of the leaders, yeah?
And just be like, right, this is what we're proposing.
We are proposing to unfortunately abandon this town
and we move our wounded and our sick along with everyone
and everything that we can carry all the way to Lockfort.
We will provide the guard from there.
We will be able to at least keep us safe.
And then myself, Cassius, and Zilli are going to go
and take the fight to the drow.
And what happened to Daniel?
Hi.
Daniel's probably fucked up here.
We don't care about him.
I don't give a fuck where Daniel is.
You say that?
We probably do, though.
Okay. Well, we do, though. Oh, no don't give a fuck where Daniel is. You say that? We probably do, though. Okay.
Well, we do, though.
Oh, no, he told you he was going to the thing.
I should still roll for Liza.
He went to the orphanage.
Yeah, he told you, but Cassius said he didn't.
What's he been doing while we've been like, we're healing the sink.
No, I just said I don't give a fuck where Daniel is.
Oh, no, you said I don't know.
We're making care.
No, no, they were like, where's Daniel?
I'm like, I don't give a fuck where Daniel is.
Okay.
Well, yeah, he said he was going to the, that was like over an hour ago.
Yeah, I'm like, and any able-bodied men that might want to come to. Sorry, that was we're done. Okay. Well, yeah, he said he was going to the... That was, like, over an hour ago. Yeah, I'm like...
And any able-bodied men that might want to come to...
That was three hours ago.
And any able-bodied men that want to come to the Underdark and fuck some drow.
Okay.
Let's raise an army.
Head to Lockfoot, raise an army, take the fight to the drow.
That's a good plan.
I'm going to go start to work shaping wood into carts.
Okay.
While you're doing that, do you want to go to the orphanage or something?
No.
Oh, okay.
You're not going to look for Daniel?
Well, do we know that Daniel is missing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He said he's going to the orphanage.
I guess I'll go because I'm the only one who doesn't hate him right now.
I don't hate him.
I just have a dislike for him.
Nah, he's...
Yeah, I'd like to go and look for Daniel.
Cool.
I start helping with the preparations.
You wander out to the orphanage.
Because, like, if nothing else...
Is this the first time you've been to the smouldering wreckage?
I can't remember.
Yes?
Okay.
So it's probably, like, a bit of a sad moment for you.
I'm avoiding it.
So it's, yeah, like I said, probably a bit of a sad moment for you coming across the remains.
There's, like I said, there's pretty much nothing standing.
Maybe, like, a tiny one wall, a tiny bit of one wall,
like a corner that just was touched by flames but wasn't, like, burnt down.
That's where he's sitting.
No.
Like, you can see the chain, like, slung over the side of it like that,
and it's embedded in the wall.
Yes.
Facing away from you.
No.
Do you walk around?
Yeah, I do.
Daniel has strung himself up with his chain.
Oh, no.
Is he just sitting there using it as a swing He's dead
He hung himself
Adam I hate you
What have I done
Adam what
What are you doing Adam
What have I done
Your punishment is nearly complete
Nearly
That should be the final nail in the coffin.
Why are you punishing
us for checks?
What the fuck just happened?
I'm done.
I'm done. I'm out.
I'm done.
Amazing.
What the fuck?
What is this game?
Okay.
I don't know if you want to start this.
I don't even know what to say to you, Adam.
I'm so mad.
I just don't understand why you've done anything that you've done.
This is no longer Zilli to the dead fucking corpse of Daniel.
It's now straight up Ali to add a motherfucking crispy treats.
Go fuck yourself.
I'm so done.
I'm still giving a rousing speech to the townsfolk.
Fuck the townsfolk.
I'm still furious at what I think is an alive Daniel.
Fuck all this fuck.
Isn't it so much worse knowing that he's dead
and still being like, my character is furious?
Like Cassius, I, Jackson, I'm like,
it wasn't worth, he shouldn't have.
But Cassius is like, what a piece of fucking shit.
Also, how do the Husferma, so not right,
how do they view suicide?
Out of curiosity.
There's a question.
Culturally.
I never thought we'd be asking.
Culturally, how do the fantasy Nordic people deal with suicide?
Are Husferma Catholic?
The gods do not appreciate those who try to hurry their visit.
Are they like, whatever, he fell in dark times, what a sad thing, depression, things.
They're not allowed to bury him in a graveyard.
He'll probably just get a water funeral or something like that.
Would I know this?
Yeah, you'd probably know this, yeah.
I'd like to take his body down, please.
Okay.
Oh, I don't want to.
I'm so grossed out already.
It's super heavy.
I know this is all make-believe, but I'm so grossed out.
How are you going to take him down? Okay. Oh, I don't want to. I'm so grossed out already. It's super heavy. I know this is all make-believe, but I'm so grossed out.
How are you going to take him down?
Pure rage towards you, Adam, and sadness towards me.
He's six foot, like, 20.
Yeah, well, but here's the thing, right?
If I know what you just told me, like, he's a friend,
and we've been together a lot,
so I'm not going to let them know that he committed suicide.
I don't know how I'm going to do it.
Are you going to set it up like Drow killed him? Yes.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cool.
Look at his face.
Okay.
How are you going to do it?
Well, I need to take his body down.
You have the bolts.
Oh, my God. I do. I need to take his body down. You have the bolts! Oh my god!
I do!
Don't get excited!
She's covering up a suicide!
How can you not get excited, Adam?
Okay, you get the body down, yeah?
Yeah, okay. I'd like to stage
his death.
Well, I just hope there's no
fucking Huspham and CSI.
Huspham and CSI Husperman CSI
There's a Mitchell and Webb sketch
Like caveman CSI
That's effectively what it would be
Is it dark?
No it's midday
Because if I pull out the weapons
Around here it's dark more than it's light
What time is it roughly?
I think around midday
Toward the end of midday from memory.
Why do you need the exact time?
I was wondering because again...
I don't mind too.
The town's...
Because again, we'd probably want to leave...
It's after dark.
It'd definitely be after dark.
We'd probably want to leave at first light.
It's after dark like 2pm.
Good.
No, that's what I need.
It's after dark because we fucking captured the drow and we came back again.
Okay.
So you stage a...
Before that happened, before I fail miserably because of the look on your face,
the way I've staged this...
I was like, I looked up from the roll I made, which could be anything,
and I saw Jackson's face, and I knew Jackson had gotten it,
but then you were still looking down at your paper,
so I'm like, normal face, normal face.
Normally that doesn't work.
Give it away.
Poker face, Adam, poker face.
Ah, fucked up.
Anyway, I would like to just, obviously I'll take him down,
however the fuck that works, and then.
You are probably like, maybe go around the other side
and you use like a big bit of wood to dislodge the chain.
So he just kind of drops.
Yeah.
And I'd like to like, his limp body, thanks to you, Adam.
You're so salty at you.
I'd like to just like sort of tell him that he was always like a great friend
and he was always really supportive.
Oh, no.
Yeah, that's what you've done, Adam.
And I'd like to say how much like our Thursday, Tuesday, Thursday roast meant
and that I hope that he's in a better place and that we're going to try.
He was the only person.
So hard.
Fuck, I've got to tell his dad.
Yeah, that we're going to try.
Oh, no, we might think it was drow.
That's true.
Let's hope it was drow. Come on, Zilly, do good. I know, I try. Oh, no, we might think it was Drow. That's true. Let's hope it was Drow.
Come on, Zilly, do good.
I know, I know.
Well, Superman does good.
I'm going to just sort of try and promise him that we're going to try and find Carl.
We're going to try and, like, this war has done such terrible things,
and I'm going to try and rectify it.
And I know that you're such a good person that you wouldn't have done this in any other circumstance.
And I'm sorry I have to desecrate your body, but I'm going to shoot you with alfarros now.
And ask for a little bit of penance.
So do you have the hand crossbow as well?
Yes, she does.
Okay, so you don't know how to use a hand crossbow.
Just use an arrow and just stab.
What?
You could try if you want to. You don't know how to use a hand crossbow. Just use an arrow and just stab. What? You could try if you want to.
You don't know how to use a hand crossbow, but it's just a body,
so even without knowledge you can pepper it with a couple crossbow bolts.
You do that, and then what?
How heavy is he?
Super heavy.
How strong am I?
Super weak.
Well, let me do some quick maths here.
But you look good while doing it, especially in that cloak.
My charisma cloak.
Super tasty.
Are you forgetting that Zilli's super hot?
Well, not hot, just charismatic.
Super hot.
Also, if you're dragging it, just remember,
you might want to cover up those tracks.
Them CSI.
I'll spin the CSI.
He's my plan.
No, barely any of them are trappers.
You wouldn't know.
We're illiterate, right?
You would know.
A trapper helps you make those traps.
Remember?
Oh, yeah.
I was just going to drag his body with me and be like, this is where I found him.
So it doesn't really matter where he is.
You could also look for the dragon, really.
Well, we'll search the town for drowels that don't exist
if you just take us back to the orphanage and you're like,
look what they did to Daniel.
That's true.
Yeah.
Oh, how far are you going to have to drag him?
Wait for a bit.
You can drag him, but that's it.
You can't pick him up.
Can I drag him to such a rate that we're going to do a search for I drag him? Okay, so you can lift him, but if you lift him, you can't lift him over your head.
You just lift him up to your chest and you're staggering around.
You can't actually move properly.
I'd like to carry him in such a way that you can still clearly see the drought bolts coming out.
You can drag him.
You can't actually lift him and go anywhere.
You could drag him like this with the front.
How far away am I from the orphanage?
You're in the orphanage, in the remains of it.
If I scream.
If you scream loud enough, they'd hear you, yeah.
Okay, I'd like to do that.
I'd like very emotionally scream and lots of no's.
Then you can just hold him.
Yes, yes.
Yeah, good, good, good.
That's what I'm doing.
Hold him and lots of tears because they're long. You're screaming for a while. Yes, yes. Yeah, good, good, good. That's what I'm doing. Hold him and lots of tears because they're long.
You're screaming for a while.
Oh, wow.
Before finally.
Oh, wait.
I should have just sent.
Wesley.
Can I send Wesley as a messenger?
Oh, no, you've already done that.
It's already happened.
It's fine.
Wesley can come too.
I think you scream, you wait.
No one's coming.
To be fair, you could send Wesley off now because they really haven't noticed you yet.
We're in the middle of a rousing speech.
Yeah, exactly.
Rousing speech.
You send Wesley off.
Who are you going to send and find?
I've got a spell for this.
Oh, can I do that?
You could just send Wesley.
No.
What's that, boy?
What's that, Wesley?
Oh, no, that's not.
Zilly's down a well?
Zilly's down a well?
Zilly fell in a drow?
I'd like to send Wesley across to Cassius
because Cassius can talk to animals
and then be like, Wesley, you've got to get Cassius.
You've got to tell him what's going on.
Please leave out the bit where we staged the murder.
Oh, yeah, Wesley's complicit.
Wesley's an accomplice.
I would like to explain.
Wesley's going to judge you.
I'd like to explain to Wesley that this is the best option
and to please.
Roger Dodger.
As you wish.
No, that's me, Ali, saying Roger Dodger.
Wesley doesn't say anything.
Wesley just looks at the body, looks at you, doesn't say anything.
Hello, hello.
Wesley's going to have to keep a secret.
We're going to have to kill him too.
I'm not killing Wesley.
As he walks away, your hand brushes that hand crossbow, Ali.
Sorry.
As Wesley runs away, you're like, he's complicit,
and your hand brushes that crossbow.
Oh, no, it doesn't.
Oh, no, what are you going to do with the crossbow?
I'm not going to do it.
It's on your person.
Oh.
Oh, yeah, because they're going to fucking CSI that shit,
and they're going to be like, these bolts fired from this hand crossbow.
That's true.
No, yeah, just put the crossbow back on my back what are you doing again cassius i'm just standing there whilst he gives a rousing
speech uh wesley like finds you in the crowd and like tugs at your leg what do you need wesley
i'll cast talk to animals wesley's here trying to get your attention Zilly isn't here Do you actually need to know
Do you actually need to
Fine what
So you okay you cast this spell
Okay Wesley looks up at you
And says Zilly needs you
Um
It's Daniel
I don't fucking care about Daniel
Oh you're gonna regret that
Uh Zilly needs you Do you love me I don't fucking care about Daniel. Oh, you're going to regret that.
Dilly needs you.
Do you love me?
Show me the way, Wesley.
Do I notice?
You're in the middle of a rousing speech.
Maybe.
Huss Firmans.
Huss Firmans.
We have gone through some hardships.
We've all lost our mother figure. You just see that Cassius at some point leaves.
It's a sad time. You don't know where Cassius has You just see that Cassius at some point leaves It's
You don't know where Cassius has gone to
Or why Cassius left
But you just see Cassius walk away
I think I'll still keep in my little thing
Because it's night time now isn't it
It's your night time
Don't make me think of this
I think I'll just kind of like
The rousing speech was to
Your speech continues to the rousing speech was to...
Your speech continues to be rousing.
Oh, yes.
To be like, we're going to go to, what's it called?
Lockfort.
And we're going to be like, go there, then we're going to send a war party out.
I'm going to fuck this drow up.
These people are never, well, not for a long time.
These people are not for a long time going to cheer or be happy, but they're like determined
to, you know...
They're pumped.
So I want to like... They're pumped. I wouldn't call them pumped. I'd call them pumped.
Well,
we'll see how they feel after they realise
what you did. How long is my rousing
speech going until I, like,
when Cassius buggers off?
Do I, like, wrap it up and follow
Cassius, or am I, like, in the middle of it being like,
oh, I can't move. I'll keep going. Your speech
was so good that they want you to organize it.
All right.
So I'm like, all right.
So then I'm going to grab.
They're like, well, how are we going to do this?
You're like, okay, okay.
So grab Bertram and be like, all right, this is our plan.
Waiting for a lull, but it didn't happen.
You just coughed in the middle.
It's fine.
All right.
So you go to Bertram and be like, right, this is our plan
of attack tomorrow.
We need to rest tonight
and then...
First light.
First light, fully stock up.
I'm going to say you like,
yeah, start planning
with Bertram.
I'll follow...
No, you do pretty well.
All right, sick.
People are going to live.
We go south.
We're going to go to the pole.
And then point to the east.
You're like 100% confident that everyone is going to make it out just fine.
Audience can't see me crossing my fingers.
I thought you were just telling Jackson and I and not telling Xav.
And I'm like, nah, I'm a boy.
He just saves him from burn wounds.
I'd already written this whole town off.
Adam, why?
All right, I'll follow Wesley.
Okay.
Yeah, Wesley leads you to what is obviously the orphanage.
Yep.
You get there, you see Zilly and you see Daniel.
She's standing over Daniel.
No, I'm sitting with him.
I'm holding him.
Oh, you're holding his...
Cradling his dead body
Okay she's
Zillia's cradling
Daniel
Daniel has like a couple
Black shafted
Bolts
I'd like to just
Like run
As fast as my little dwarf legs
Can carry me
Up to Daniel
You get there?
Yep
Okay
I just like
Kneel down next to him
Like
Feel his body
Is he alive? Like can I tell that he's dead?
His body is cold, he's been dead for a while
I'd like to just like give you
I can't even talk, I'm speechless at this
I look you in the eye like
What?
This fucking town
Whoever is the god of this world
Is heartless, Adam
Cassius?
So Where are you?
If Zilly's cradling him
I've knelt down so that I'm level with Zilly
You're looking at his body
And at his wounds
The wounds around his neck
Are very different
To the wounds made by the bolts
You look up You see his chain Very different to the wounds made by the bolts.
You, like, look up.
You see his chain.
His chain is covered in blood.
One end of his chain is covered in blood.
Here's what happened.
You fucked up this, CSI.
Cassius is a one-woman CSI.
Cassius, when I got here,
the drow must have killed him and then humiliated him by hanging him from his chain.
Oh!
And I couldn't leave him there like that.
I had to take him down.
I had to.
I couldn't leave him.
It's too humiliating.
He's lost so much in this war
I don't know what to do her voice breaks her eyes dilate she's lying
I'd like to put my hand on your shoulder.
Zilly.
Yes.
What happened here?
That's what happened.
Zilly, don't you lie to me.
You don't get a new bluff check, Allie.
Don't you lie to me, Zilly.
What happened here?
I'd like to look at Wesley and see what Wesley thinks.
Wesley, make a decision, Allie. Wesley just see what Wesley thinks. Wesley. Make a decision, Ellie.
Wesley just shrugs his shoulders.
I'll take that as
affirmation. I'd like to use charm person.
What the fuck is this?
I'm doing this
for Daniel. You fucked him round.
You're the one who's acting with him. You don't know.
I don't know. You're right. I don't have any idea.
You can't have this fucking word. Motherf know. I don't know. You're right. I don't have any idea. You better make this fucking work.
Motherfucker.
I'm doing this for a good cause, Jackson B. Bailey.
Okay.
So, um, Zilly casts a spell.
Cassius, uh, nothing happens.
Oh, poo.
You just know she cast the spell.
Zilly, you know the spell didn't work.
What are you doing, Zilly?
I was trying to...
Wesley's, like, behind Cassia's back.
Wesley's, like, making fucking...
What do you call this?
Like, around your throat, like the hand.
They're kind of like...
Cut it out, cut it out, cut it out.
I've got an empathetic link with Wesley, don't I?
Yeah.
I like to tell him, killing Cassia's in here, in your mind, he's just telepathically communicating.
What are you doing, Zilly?
I tried to comfort you.
What happened here, Zilly?
Wesley says, go full hog.
What does that mean?
Go hog.
Do it again.
Do it again.
Do it again.
Do it again.
Oh, God. Oh, no. You it again. Do it again. Do it again. Oh, God.
Oh, no.
You and Wesley, you're one of a kind.
I was going to be like, just tell the truth.
Ali, the truth will set you free.
No, it won't.
No, very true.
This whole party is built on lies.
Okay, Cassius, you're charmed.
Yes.
Sorry.
So the drought did this.
Who else?
You consider everything Ali says in the best possible light.
Okay.
How else? Who would have done light. Who would have done this?
Who would have done this? They're the ones
who humiliate us.
From this point forward until the end of the spell, you consider
everything, I guess, that she's telling the truth.
Although, when the spell ends,
you can revisit these memories.
Yeah, I will.
Oh dear. I'm going to get thrown in the lake.
I'd like to get my fists ready and search the area.
You stay here, Zilly, with the body.
They can't be that far away.
Cassius, I think you should maybe, like, he was here for a while.
Then they're somewhere beyond the town.
They can't have gone that far.
I was chatting to him just now.
Just still.
Then they can't be that far away.
I'm going to head off.
I'm going to start searching the area.
No, you can't.
Stop doing that.
You find no sign of Drow.
Let's go.
Let's go.
We've got to go.
Help me carry him back to the town.
Add that to the memory bank.
Yep.
All right.
All right.
I'll help you carry him.
You're right.
We've got to get him into town.
Let's go.
We've got to tell Edric and pick him up by his leg. Do you take his chain as well? I am so fucked. him. You're right. We've got to get him into town. Let's go. We've got to tell Edric and I pick him up by his leg.
Do you take his chain as well?
I am so fucked.
Yes.
Okay.
No.
Maybe.
Those are the three potential things.
Do I take his chain?
Yes.
No, I said yes to begin with.
Yes, I will.
Hang on.
Can you flip your character sheet over to where Wesley is?
Okay.
What?
What are you going to do to Wesley?
All right.
Don't fucking worry.
Got it.
It's int.
Int.
One of his starts is int for intelligence.
Eight.
Eight?
Okay.
Yeah.
So what did you say?
He said yes.
Okay.
You're taking the chain.
Yeah.
Adam.
Yes? Adam I'd like to help carry Daniel's body back to the town Between the two of you, you can easily carry Daniel
The whole way back I'm like, I broke his jaw
I broke his jaw
Is his jaw still broken?
It's got that purple bruising
I threw the wand at him, remember?
It's got that purple bruising
He didn't use the wand.
Oh, no.
He felt like he deserved it.
I'd like to ask Cassius.
Probably in the snow somewhere.
Pick up the wand for strategic reasons, not for roleplay reasons.
She's told how I'm going to take it in.
I didn't know how it was.
So Bertram is...
Edric, Bertram is like...
You and Bertram are hashing out details of who's going to be going on what carts, that sort of stuff.
When one of the remaining town guards comes over and says,
Sir, there's a... Zilli and Cassius are coming back.
I think they have Daniel, and I think he's hurt.
Bertram, keep hashing this out. I'll be right back.
What?
Hashing it out.
It's fine. That's a word? That's a phrase? I think I said back what? hashing it out it's fine
that's a word
that's a phrase
I think I said it as well
but it just made me laugh
when you said it
hash is drugs
oh
Adam
you're right though
it is drugs
it is
correct
I would revert to drugs as well
um
keep hashing this out
I'll be right back
um
I
you tripp on up
yeah the guard like
takes you to where he saw you
um yeah you guys meet up on the way I'd like to ask Cassius what the fuck's going on like why out, I'll be right back. You trippin' on up? Yeah, the guard takes you to where he saw you.
Yeah, you guys meet up. On the way, I'd like to ask Cassius what the fuck's going on.
Why are you muttering about
breaking someone's jaw?
No, you've charmed me.
You don't have to tell her this.
You consider her a friend, but you already did
and you might not have told her then.
Me and Daniel had an altercation.
Alright, is that why he went off by himself? I don't know.
Now you're gonna find out why he- oh, this is all just falling apart!
I don't know, Zilli.
I don't know.
Okay, so Edric arrives on scene.
I'm squeaking in the corner.
Go on.
Uh, what do I see, Adam?
They're carrying Daniel between them. So Edric arrives on scene. I'm squeaking in the corner. Go on. What do I see, Adam?
They're carrying Daniel between them.
Daniel, like, he's got, you know, he's very limp,
so he's quite obviously dead.
His head is, like, leaned back at an odd angle,
and he's got, like, shafts from drow bolts on him.
The drow.
I just drop.
I drop to the floor. I drop the hammer. I just drop. I drop to the floor.
I drop the hammer.
I just drop to my knees.
This is it.
This is take.
This is like, I just like, fuck.
Just fuck.
Just goddammit.
I'm like muttering about Carl.
I'm muttering about like, I didn't, this is why I didn't want him.
What happened?
What happened?
What happened?
I'd like to explain better than what I did.
Well, you're pretty distraught, Zilly.
Yeah, well, that's why.
And because of your distraught nature,
Oh, my God.
Edric does not believe it either.
I like to use charm person, Adam.
How many castings do you have left?
The God is the...
You're right.
All right, all right.
The guard is right there.
Hang on.
So you said the drow?
Oh, he's like standing a little away.
You could probably get away with it.
Hang on.
Do you have still spell or silent spell?
I think you do.
Look at your feats because you might have the ones that... You're right.
Let me react before you start using magic on you, you sumbitch.
I would like to use whatever feat you said was most useful. I think
silent spell.
You haven't even let me...
You don't even know that I know you're lying yet.
Just want to...
I'll keep that in the back pocket.
Keep that in the brain box.
The drow.
Look at Cassius. So what's the drow?
The drow, they... Do I think Cassius
is lying? Edric, they shot him full of arrows and they strung him up.
Cassius seems on the level.
Oh, actually.
Ooh, this is an interesting roll.
So a sense motive roll of 25 allows you to determine
whether or not someone has been charmed.
Whoopsie.
Oh, boy.
No.
Josh, no.
To be honest, looking at your sense motive score you actually physically couldn't
tell
I kind of give
Zillia a quizzical look
and then just go to the guard
tell Bertram
we need a search party
the guard shifts off
you guys are probably outside the wall right now
so
now's the time, isn't it?
Do you really think?
Cassius?
Yeah.
Can you give us some moment?
I need you to go.
Actually, can you go with?
Yeah, before.
Tell him to go with the guard.
He's like, organize a search party.
Cassius, can you tell what happened?
For sure.
Cool. Are you intending on getting yourself alone with Zilli? Yeah. the guard is like organize a search party cassius can you tell what happened for sure cool um are
you intending on getting yourself alone with zilly yeah okay all right i'll uh i'll go sort
the search party out i'm in so much trouble actually zilly you as far as you're aware
right now he believes me yeah as far as you're aware he now... He believes me? Yeah, as far as you're aware, he believes you.
I put my hand on Daniel just for a moment to have a moment with him and be like,
I'm so sorry, and go join the search party.
I'd like to fall into Edric's arms.
Bro, I'm getting the vapors!
Okay, you catch her, right?
Yeah, I kind of give her a hug.
I'd like to distressingly emphasize how humiliating it was
to find the drow had put him in such a humiliating thing
and I couldn't deal with it, so I had to take him down.
Yes, another sweet Goodwill hunting moment.
It's not your fault.
I love that.
Yeah, I basically say I'm sorry that you've had to live through this.
Where are you looking?
I'm looking.
So she's facing me.
She's fallen into your arms, yeah?
Daniel's behind us.
I'm looking at Daniel, and I'm telling Zilly, it's okay.
I'm so sorry this happened.
You know what happened.
This is why I didn't.
Edric, you give one look at him, you know those marks on his neck. You know what happened This is why I didn't Edric You give one look at him
You know those marks on his neck
You know what happened
This is why I didn't want you guys to do this
We've made such terrible mistakes
I couldn't leave him there
I'm so fucked
Does Cassius know what you've done?
What?
What do you mean? Does Cassius know what you've done? What? What do you mean?
Does Cassius know what you've done?
What?
I didn't do anything.
Does Cassius know what you've done?
I would like to break down now, please.
For real or are you pretending?
No, for real.
In the weight of the burden of what I tried to do.
Yep.
Zilly starts crying.
I'm not going to get you to roll sense motive.
I explain everything.
I explain about how, like, we know that if people knew he'd commit suicide,
he wouldn't be able to bury him.
And I told Cassius that I may.
She was very distraught, so I may have tried to calm her down.
Maybe a little bit.
I panicked.
All right.
I'm not ready for this,rick hold me hold me i'm so
sad and so confused i hate this world i hate it this season can go fucking well
the season being winter um well done i just yeah keep comforting you and it's like, it'll be okay, Cassius.
Okay.
You've got to back me up.
We can't let the town know that it wasn't the drought
because you know what will happen.
I know.
Fucking coward.
I know.
Do you know what I'm going to do?
Do you know how hard it's going to be for me to cope
when I come out of this charm and I'm like,
Daniel killed himself.
My friend killed himself.
My other friend betrayed me and charmed me, treated me like I wasn't mature enough to understand. And then my other friend went along with her.
It's going to be bad.
On the bright side, you still aren't making your role to know that she charmed you.
Yeah, good.
I'd also like to ask Edric if maybe we should tell Cassius together.
I'm going to.
First off, never charm her again.
Do not charm any, like.
I mean, honestly, it's the first time I use that spell.
Oh, second time.
I used it on that elf.
No, you fucking pushed it too far now. I used it on that elf. No, you fucking pushed it too far in there.
I used it on the elf.
This is something you might want to come back to later,
Andrew.
Yeah.
You're like, put a pin in that.
Is it just?
Is it just?
Zilly, this is why Huss Furmans don't like magic.
Zilly. What was I meant to do? don't like magic, Zilly.
What was I meant to do? You weren't there.
Look, I'm not, Zilly.
I understand.
I'm in so much trouble.
I understand.
We can't let the townsfolk.
You're right.
The guards are coming back.
Okay.
Have the search party go.
Oh, it's out there.
Search it.
No, you're coming back with the search party.
We'll deal with this soon.
Hang on.
I kind of reach into my backpack and grab that orb of that mister gave us.
Because, I mean, time of need.
Dead Daniel.
It's a pretty good time of need.
Every now and then in the smoky orb you see like a...
Like thunderclouds.
There's storms?
It's like a storm is brewing inside of it.
What the fuck?
I have no idea what that means.
You're still, you're the only one holding it?
I give it a...
She's the one in the time of need.
I give it to me.
Put it on like Daniel's face?
Nothing.
Open his mouth, slide it in.
Point and click adventure.
I die at the close.
I open at the close.
What the fuck am I?
Pass it to me and sunflowers come up.
Go on.
To Zilli.
But what happens when Zilli takes the orb?
And what could storm clouds mean?
Find out next time on Husfirma Pride,
a D&D is for Nerds adventure.
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