D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #23 Wolves of Winter
Episode Date: January 21, 2017Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes get a lot of criticals. We get knocked down a bunch by wolves, talk spell modifiers and get some healing licks from a bear. Cassius spends most of her time on the fl...oor growling, Zillie wants to tell you what other peoples hit points are and Edrik grapples a wolf. So join us as we learn about armour classes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Sanspence Radio. Alright, I'm gonna say all 151 Pokemon names in one second. No, I'm not.
Hey everyone, are you in Sydney on the 2nd or 3rd of Feb? Then why not come and see us at the Chippendale Hotel?
It'll be our sister show, Plumbing the Death Star, on the Thursday, and on the Friday we're teaming up with Film Feuds.
And this time, we're bringing our good friend, and your favourite DM, Adam.
Tickets are available in the show notes, seating is very limited, so get in while you can.
Also, little amendment to last week's announcement about RTX,
we're going to be on stage at 3.30
and with very special guest, Michael Jones.
Still going to be talking about Mario in New York City
because you know DK is going to just follow him
and that fucking ape is all about climbing buildings,
which is going to be a hassle for everyone involved. You know DK is gonna just follow him, and that fucking ape is all about climbing buildings,
which is going to be a hassle for everyone involved.
Anyways, we've still got three double weekend passes to give away, so follow us on Twitter,
use the hashtag LetMeRTX, and what you'd do with an alive hat to enter the draw.
Personally, I'd have a lovely tea party with the hat and feed it scones.
Win is announced on Wednesday, so good luck,
and we'll be seeing some of your handsome faces very shortly.
Now, enjoy the show.
Welcome to episode 23 of Husk Firm of Pride,
a D&D's for nerds adventure.
Previously... Do you want to say a few words?
Yeah.
I'll say something like...
I'll use whatever Bertram's bird from like you know the whole thing
we're all scared you didn't get quite the hero's death that you wanted but sometimes that's life
and sometimes we don't get what we deserve i'd like to say daniel that i cherish all of his
memories and he obviously meant so much to me that in my moment of panic i betrayed my closest
friend daniel the four of us were taken in by Mistra because we had nowhere else to go.
And I remember as kids, we were like,
you couldn't really separate the four of us.
Just like on a rocky outcrop near the base of the mountain,
this white, pure white wolf steps up onto the crest of it.
A toll to pass through my lands.
You can attack twice a turn as a fighter.
Would you like to attack again?
What?
Yeah, how good a fighter's mate?
What's natural spell?
Did I always have that?
Oh, no, I gave that to you when you leveled up.
Sorry, I should have explained a little.
Yeah, whatever.
Natural spell allows you to cast spells while you're in bear.
You still can't speak, but, like, say, for example,
you're casting a spell that requires verbal and hand movement.
You know, you make gestures with your paws and you're like...
I'd like to cast web at the wolves that are attacking Cassius.
I can't do that.
You can, but you have pressing issues.
So, the winter wolf and its pack are currently besetting you from basically all sides.
Cool.
Cool.
All right.
Then, yeah, a bunch of other wolves, like, knocked at you,
but you're, like, swinging wildly still.
Cassius, two wolves are able to make it through to you.
You get bit once.
I'll be fine.
Whatever.
Come on, guys.
You take four points of damage.
Let's fuck this winter wolf up.
Fuck this winter wolf up, and then we'll rule these wolves. I'm going to wear this. Let's skin this winter wolf up. Fuck this winter wolf up and then we'll rule
these wolves.
Let's skin this winter wolf pelt.
Oh, you're already on the ground, Cassius.
They knock you down further.
They dig a bit more snow
and push you into it.
Now it is, that was a wolf's turn.
Zilly?
Electrocute him.
You can try casting again if you want.
Do it, mate.
Will the lightning thing, am I in a good position? Yeah, you can still hit a bunch. Zilly, electrocute him. You can try casting again if you want. Do it, mate. You got it.
Will the lightning thing, am I in a good position?
Yeah, you can still hit a puncher.
They're backed up to get to you guys. I'd like to use my lightning bolt, please.
You're lucky.
Your lightning bolt gets off.
Yeah.
Gets off.
Bloody hell.
What's a wolf's?
What is a wolf's? Shut up. What's a wolf's? What is a wolf's?
Shut up.
It's a wolf's reflex save.
Some kind of dog, I think.
It's a canid of the canid varai.
You guys just asking for death today.
I think we've been asking for death this whole season.
Yeah.
Okay.
Adam.
So your lightning gets off.
Can you tell me, under the spell, Zilly,
it's faster than me looking it up,
what damage does it do?
A billion.
A billion.
I think it's 3d6.
I think it's a billion d6.
17d6.
Electricity deals 1d6 damage
divided by or slash level 10, bracket.
Okay, so 1d6 per level. So 6d6 damage divided by or slash level 10 bracket. Okay, so 1d6
per level. So 6d6.
You're a powerful mage.
What a fucking...
I was going to say nightmare, like what's the other thing?
Dream? What a fucking
dream.
You're a nightmare for the wolf.
The wolf is bearing down on you.
I'm going to be like, what's this, cunt?
And then zap!
You jab two fingers into the wolf on you, you, um... I'm gonna be like, what's this, cunt? And then zap! You jab two fingers
into the wolf on top of you,
directing the two fingers, like,
in a line towards, like,
a bunch of other wolves.
You cast the spell.
Lightning just blasts
into the wolf on top of you.
Leaps from that wolf,
strikes another.
Leaps from that wolf,
strikes another.
Leaps from that wolf, strikes another. Leaps from that wolf, strikes another. Leaps from that wolf, strikes another.
Leaps from that wolf, strikes another.
All down a line until you've hit ten wolves.
They all die.
You wolf!
Lightning bursts from every orifice.
That's 14 down, yeah?
The saviour of this party.
Hope that wind wolf's like, shit.
See, let's just shift off, guys.
We'll get some magic items somewhere else.
You've basically halved their numbers.
Good.
There's only like 11 left.
Yeah.
She got four.
She got ten.
That puts it at Edirik's turn.
Do I have any near me?
Yeah, you still have a bunch because she could only affect the wine.
So you can
start cleaving again. Good.
Oh, I will. I will.
I fucking will.
Get my cleave on.
What is that face?
You hit. I think you only
miss really on a two or a one.
Jesus. You're powerful,
Edric. Yeah. Two or a one
is a miss for you.
One. One is a miss for you a mess. Oh, yeah burns cold in here one one is a mystery You are
Liking fighters gang you need a fucking good Roy a wolf good
Not a one she destroy a second good
Actually wait, what's your damage as well? It's like me like yeah
Yeah minimum damage your damage as well? It's like when you're like, yeah. When you accidentally touch him. Yeah, minimum damage kills him as well.
So I was kind of like, just touch him.
So long as I don't roll a one.
That's a 20.
Whoa!
You're a fucking animal, Edric.
Broken nose, normal damage, and one charisma damage and bleed.
Not that it matters.
Because wolves need charisma.
Yeah, that wolf's charisma.
Wolf, you are no longer handsome.
Let's all have a look at the charisma of a wolf.
I hope he's in the negs.
I imagine he's in the negs.
Charisma five.
Whoa.
Oh, well, charisma five after the one.
Wolves are kind of charismatic.
They're kind of handsome.
Maybe I'm moving to them.
Ten is average.
They are gross. Fuck wolves. Fuck handsome. Maybe I'm into them. Ten is average. They are gross.
Fuck wolves.
Fuck wolves.
I hate them so much.
Okie dokie.
So, yeah, you kill another four wolves.
Jesus Christ.
We are just decimating.
Three, four.
That would put it at seven wolves left plus the winter wolf.
So there are how many near?
There's no more near me.
There's one next to Cassius
and then like six who haven't made it
to you guys yet. I start walking
towards them like
their death itself.
Cassius, you've got two wolves to fight.
If I use magic, Fang greater, that's my turn, isn't it?
Yes. Yeah, okay. Never mind, I'll
try and use... You've got three attacks, two claws
and a bite. Yeah, I'll just fucking tear one, eat one alive.
Super.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Oh, no.
A little crit hap for Cassius.
Crit hap.
This is a crit hapy fucking battle.
I know, it's right, isn't it?
Spun around.
Normal damage and target is flat-footed for one round.
Awesome.
That means I assume I pick it up in my mouth.
Flat-footed, sorry.
Technically, everyone has three different types of armor class.
There's your regular armor class,
which factors in your dexterity, your armor, shield.
Maybe your skin is super thick, and that gives you armor.
There's touch AC, which is just how hard you are to touch. Doesn't usually include things like armor. But if you're a ghost
I imagine it's high. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure, Jackson. No, actually. But anyway.
And then there's flat-footed AC. Flat-footed AC is if you're
caught unawares.
Okay.
So it's basically your armor class without your dexterity,
which is 90% of a wolf's armor class.
All right.
Yeah, so you, like, your first swing, the wolf darts out of the way,
but your second one catches him unawares,
literally spins the wolf around.
So its back is facing you.
Then you chomp down
with your teeth, hitting it
you kill a wolf
you bite into it
tear it upwards and you just start shaking
that fucker
8, 10, 1
well
Cassius, it's the
wolves turn
they
four of them
attack
Edric
they're finally coming after you
in the three seasons we've done I've never heard that
out of noise before
what a odd thing to happen
what what In the three seasons we've done, I've never heard that out of noise before. What a odd thing to happen.
What?
Two crit sads. I didn't even fucking know what to tell you guys.
You get bit twice, two of them hit, and two of them go crit fail.
I didn't even know what to tell you guys.
Ridiculous.
Winter Wolf is sitting there like,
I'm going to do the damage first.
They're like, these fucking guys.
Fucking Barry and Gary fucking come.
So two of them launch onto you, Edric,
and you take a total of five points of damage between their strikes.
Sook.
Whatever.
Whatever.
I'm bleeding my throat.
They both knock you to the ground.
Taxi, Daisy. the ground. Taxi Daisy.
And then...
Taxi.
The other two pick me up.
First one, wide open.
You are flat footed for one round.
A couple of flat footed.
He like opens his jaw and because he opens his jaw,
he stops paying attention to the world around him.
I don't even fucking know how to describe that one.
Yeah, he can't
see what he's doing.
He opened his mouth too wide.
He's got epilepsy or something.
Epileptic wolf, I get it.
Got too close for the second one.
Your attack hits the target,
but the target may start a grapple
against you for free.
Oh, I'm gonna wrestle a wolf!
So you take a further three points of damage.
But now you're wrestling a wolf.
But you are now grappling, if you choose, this wolf.
Of course!
Like, I get knocked over, but in my fallback, you!
You, like, wrap your arms around this one's neck.
Piece of shit.
So it's like a wolf fucking sandwich.
It's like, wolf, you, two wolves.
Okay.
Then, that was four. Three of them come down to fight Cassius. Uh oh.
Uh, you get bit once.
You take four points of damage.
You're still on the ground.
I know.
I've been like just spinning around killing wolves.
No, you take penalties for attacking from the ground.
It's like sliding on the ice.
FYI. Yeah, I know. wolves. No, you take penalties for attacking from the ground. Is this like sliding on the ice?
FYI.
Yeah, I know.
Cool.
Okay.
Now it is.
Oh, wait.
What?
Actually, the winter wolf's going to wade in now.
The winter wolf's like, okay.
I should probably do something.
Ah, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Nah, I want to take him on head first. The winter wolf flanks around to the right.
Oh, he's fast. Yeah, the winter wolf flanks around to the right. Ooh, he's fast.
Yeah, the Winter Wolf flanks around to the right.
It looks like he's going to try and take Cassius and Zilli unaware as well.
Edric is charging up the mountain.
Oh, no!
Not mountain, not the cliff, whatever.
The hillock.
You guys know what I mean.
Okay, so that puts it at Zilli.
Your turn.
Lightning?
You can cast it again.
At max, you'd be able to hit two wolves.
Nah, we're not going to waste my level three spoon.
Unless you want to just do it on the winter wolf.
Does that mean there's more damage?
No.
It's still the same amount of damage, but it's a lot of damage.
It's still several d6s on the winter wolf.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, all on the winter wolf.
D6s on the Winter Wolf.
Yeah, alright. Yeah, yeah.
On the Winter Wolf.
There's quiet.
Yeah, no, it got super quiet.
So the Winter Wolf ducks partially out of the way,
but your lightning strikes him on the side.
It doesn't deal as much damage as it could have,
but the Winter Wolf definitely takes damage.
And what damage?
My goodness.
There's no lightning crit, but here we are.
Crit half or crit sad.
We will find out in a moment.
Nine damage to the Winter Wolf.
So, yeah, you hit the Winter Wolf.
It, like, blasts, nearly knocks it 10 feet away.
But the winter wolf keeps coming.
Zilly, you can move as well if you want.
You can like backtrack.
What for?
Get out of the way of the wolves.
Am I being attacked by a wolf again?
Yeah.
Everyone.
Everyone's being attacked by wolves.
The winter wolf looks like it's going to come for you and Cassius.
Is that all I can do?
I can either stay there or move?
Yeah, basically.
Okay, I can't attack.
All right, I'll move.
Oh, wait.
Actually, you have... Can you... Oh, did I give it to you? Can you look under your... Oh, no, I don't think I did. Okay, I can't attack. All right, I'll move. Oh, wait. Actually, you have...
Can you...
Oh, did I give it to you?
Can you look under your...
Oh, no, I don't think I did.
Yeah, I gave you extend spell.
Never mind.
Sorry.
Yeah, I did get extend spell.
Yeah.
There's one called quicken spell, which allows you to cast a spell as like a free action.
So you could have cast the second one, but I think it requires it to be four levels higher
and you don't even have fourth level spells there.
Okay.
Ah, fair enough.
Okay. Okay. So that was Zilly's...
Oh, did you back up, sorry?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
That was Zilly's turn and now it is Edric's turn.
All right, so I'm grappling a wolf.
You're grappling a wolf.
There's two wolves on top of you and another one just chilling.
All right, so what can I do?
Well, you can't use your hammer in a grapple.
Practice karaoke.
You can either basically let go of the wolf or you can just try to pin it to the ground.
Punch it.
I was going to say, could I try and get off and use a war hammer?
Yeah, that's fine.
You can attack every wolf here.
You can kill every wolf and then we just have the winter wolf to deal with.
So, attacking from the ground gives you penalties.
You can negate those penalties by getting up as a move action,
but all four of them get attacks.
No.
Let's attack from the ground.
Okey-dokey.
Ooh.
Ooh.
That's a face.
Oh.
I almost gave you too many dice.
Yeah.
So, you swing. I'm going to say maybe dice. Yeah, so you swing.
I'm going to say maybe you start with the wolf you were grappling.
You kick it up like a fucking golf club.
You use your hammer.
You swing. The wolf goes flying like end over end and just bits fall off the wolf.
You keep going.
You hit another wolf.
This is just the game we like to play with Edric. You hit one. You hit another. Another and another. You hit another wolf. This is just the game we like to play with Edric.
You hit one.
You hit another.
Another and another.
You hit another.
You hit another.
I don't even fucking know.
Another crit.
Another crit.
I think I've been doing your crits wrong as well.
Maybe.
Yep, your crits are more powerful.
You should have been getting more crits.
What?
Your crits are more powerful.
You should have been getting more crits?
What?
The way the rules for crits work is if it's a times three on a critical,
what happens is I draw two critical hits
and you pick which one you want.
Right.
Fuck.
So you've killed two more wolves.
Hang on.
I haven't been paying attention.
So you killed one.
That's great for a DM. That's your DM. Shut the fuck up. I haven't been paying attention. So you kill one. That's great for DM.
That's your DM.
Shut the fuck up.
Now we're getting in trouble.
Kill the...
Oh, my aneurysm.
Yeah, this is the third one.
Shut up.
Okay, so you can pick from
to your thinky bits,
double damage and one intelligence bleed,
or mace to da face.
DA.
Da face. Normal damage and target is dazed and blinded Blade or mace to the face Da
Dazed and blinded for one
It doesn't actually matter because it was killed yeah, whatever whatever schools whatever one you think is cool guys Which one's the cool? I want to be cool?
So you kill all four with one swing you juggle four wolves into the air.
It's like a fucking, I don't even know, like an anime.
It's some anime bullshit going on right now.
You're like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
Just fucking juggling these four wolves.
How many wolves are left?
Three.
By my count.
Oh, wait.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think three.
Have I done this wrong? Two, three. No, it's by my count. I said wait. Yeah. Yeah, I think three. Have I done this wrong?
Two, three.
No, it's by my count.
I said there were 25.
Yeah.
But we're down to two.
Three attacked you.
I said there were seven.
I've given you guys an extra kill somewhere.
That's nice.
We'll chuck another wolf.
Whatever.
We'll kill it in cliff.
We'll just say another wolf joined the party.
Yeah, all right.
Okay.
Another wolf is scourging in the
off-score it's like oh oh my favorite part about this game these games is how much i'm like oh i
forgot i should have been dead in the unicorn fight but you forgot i was bleeding from the heart
you guys need to remind me these things. Nope, nope.
Adam, otherwise we'd be dead.
That unicorn fight probably wouldn't have actually killed you, though.
Okay.
That's nice.
If I'd remembered, someone would have helped you.
Presumably no one's just going to let you bleed from the heart.
Well, in this fucking town, Adam.
He's lying.
He's dead. Become a human and heal.
Anyway. Cassius, it's your turn.
Chomp, chomp, chomp.
You can fight the three wolves.
I would like to fire a
produce flame.
And
would I be able to fire that just at the winter wolf?
Sure. Yeah, I'll do that. Better roll concentration.
Yeah, that's fine.
Oh, goddammit.
I'm having some...
You try to cast it again, but you just aren't getting the hang of this natural spell stuff.
Trying to do it as a bear is hard.
Can I change shape as well?
Is that a free action?
Because I have two a day.
Can I get out of a bear and into something else, or is that a turn?
Um...
No.
Because I might just become an alligator, lads.
I don't think you can change it to something else straight away.
I think you need to go back to human first.
Jackson, we've almost won this fight.
Yeah, why waste an alligator?
However, Cassius, you do you.
Nah, why waste an alligator?
You're right.
I've killed one.
Just saying.
I've had some trouble.
It's because you're prone. Yeah, I know. I've had some trouble. It's because you're just prone.
Yeah, I know.
I could get up.
Could get up.
Standard action.
So to change back...
Oh, no, you can change into another animal.
It's a standard action.
Does not provoke attacks of opportunity.
Cool, but then why waste an alligator?
Yeah.
There's a line you're never going to say until it happens.
Can I get up though as like my
movement
yeah they get free attacks though
could just knock you down again
one of them hits you
you take 6 points of damage
whatever
I'm fine I don't even give a fuck
you don't know your hit point total
no he doesn't
he went to write it down and went
nevermind you get knocked down again No, he doesn't He went to write it down and went Nevermind
You get knocked down again
So the wolf just pounces on you
And just fucking keeps you down
Those wolves keep preventing you
From reaching the fuzzy ceiling
That's the ceiling for bears
That's the second part
Okay, so
Now it is
Wolf's turn
Three, attack the prone Cassius
Like sweet bear meat
What the fuck is up with this game?
With this fight
And fucking critical, does not confirm
Okay, you get bit three times though
Yeah?
Alright
If the wolves kill Cassius
As a bear Does she say as a bear, as a corpse?
No, it reverts back.
That'd be really funny to go out in the wild, you're hunting elk or something.
You're like, that's a good elk.
Shoot it with a bow and arrow.
Turns into a guy.
You take 14 points of damage.
I'm fine.
Hunting would be stressful.
No, you're not.
I'm doing great.
What have you got for hit point total?
Hold on, let me tell you what he's got for hit point.
It says in this order going down, 72 line, 24, sad face, 2 question mark.
You're on 25 hit points.
That's alright.
I changed that question mark to a 5.
It's fine.
Okay, so-
25's even good.
Then it's the. It's fine. Okay, so, um... 25's even good.
Whatever.
Then it's the Winterwolf's turn.
The Winterwolf slams into the s- doesn't literally slam, but it like, it comes in on the side
of, um, Zilli and Cassius.
It opens its maw and just this burst of cold energy comes out.
Oh no, I forgot about that.
Oh, poo.
Oh, dear.
Oh, poops.
Oh, no. Oh, bum bums. Oh, poops. Oh, bombs.
Everything's bad.
Don't pull that face, Adam.
That's a sad face.
Oh, God.
That's a cackle.
That's a cackle we're getting from Adam.
It's a silent cackle maniacally.
I feel like that's us done.
Sayonara.
It's been real.
That is for Nerd Season 3.
Thanks for listening.
Zilly, because you're standing,
you're able to run a little bit away from it,
but you still get buffeted by this cold wind.
Cassius, you're on the round.
There's nothing you can do. You just get bathed in this terrifying cold energy.
24 damage.
Cassius takes 17 points of damage.
All right.
Heal, though.
He's still alive.
That's good.
I'm still very alive.
Dee-doo, dee-doo, dee-doo.
Yeah, I've got that, like, health is low.
And Zilli takes 8.
I take 8 points of damage.
8 points of damage.
8 points of damage.
8 points of damage.
There's some hot nonsense right there.
Oops, sorry.
Wesley takes 8 as well.
Now she's invested in the fight. Now you're panicking.
I guess I'm gonna have to become an alligator,
because that heals me up.
Yes, so do spells.
Huh?
So do spells.
But then an alligator, how good!
One of the wolves on you is killed.
Awesome.
By the cold.
Neato.
Whatever.
Hang on, I got many more options other than just alligator.
Let's not...
Badger.
Let's not fuck the river just yet.
I'd like to tell my weasel to fuck off.
Get out!
Go!
Run!
That's hurtful right there.
I'm not hurtful.
I'm saving.
Give me a spell.
I'm ready.
I'm ready, boss.
I'm ready for the big time.
Put me in.
Put me in, coach. Put me in Put me in coach
Is that what he's really saying?
Wesley's like put me in
Put me in coach
Alright alright
I'm going to load him up with a spell
I'm going to load him up with
That is your turn though isn't it?
Then Wesley gets to go do it
Would someone who already is chilly
If I did chill touch
Would that do anything?
You're not sure.
Want to make him tired, guys?
Chill Touch. Chill Touch.
I know, and I would also
like to use my feat
Empower spell
on Chill Touch.
Thank you.
You wise old owl.
It doubles the damage.
I don't know if it doubles.
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
It triples.
It actually could triple.
It triples the damage.
What does it mean?
As it bites him?
Instakill.
What's this?
It does an instakill on every bad guy, and we win the game.
We win on D&D.
And then Adam calls us all handsome and kisses us on the forehead
and tucks us in and we get a nice sleep.
He feeds us chocolate so we have chocolate dreams.
Oh, beautiful.
It's super beautiful.
Oh, man, I love this spell.
It's my favorite.
Let's do that spell twice.
So it improves the...
Makes it a little bit better.
Not great.
It's a little bit better.
It increases the damage by 50%.
That's still all right.
It's fucking great.
I mean, I just sent my Wesley to die, so.
You're Wesley.
Little Wesley, Wesley.
Yeah.
Okay, so Wesley darts out.
Is that a third level spell?
So Wesley dies.
Oh, Wesley's long dead.
Goodbye.
Is that a first level spell?
But then it becomes third?
Oh, if it's originally a first level spell,
so it goes up by one level.
So what was it?
It was zero?
Or was it first?
No, it was first.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, because I made him cult.
I can't remember these things off the top of my head.
That's why I'm here, Adam.
Makes me mad.
I don't have encyclopedic knowledge of the play and book.
Oh, that's why it's a first level spell.
I forget they do strength damage as well.
Oh, no, it rounds down.
It's a pity.
I like the little D&D math happening in Adam's head.
He's like, huh, huh, huh, huh.
I'm good.
You know, two points of damage isn't so bad.
What?
I do.
Hey, that spells good against undead.
Well, that'd be great if we weren't fighting your goddamn snow wolf
We'll find him
The wolf takes one point of strength damage
So it gets a little weaker physically
That's about it
That's about the hot ex
Yeah Wesley's like I did good boss
Wesley's like yeah
You're like yeah Wesley well hold on
Okay that was Zilly's turn.
Edric?
Can I get to the Winter Wolf and hit him?
You can get to the Winter Wolf,
but I'm trying to think.
Yeah, I'd say you can.
I'm going to do that.
You'll be able to charge him,
so you get a plus two to your attack,
but negative two to your defense.
Whatever.
Take the negative, mate.
Cool.
Fuck you, Wolf.
What's this?
Was that a...
What the actual...
The listeners are really
not going to believe this,
but I'm not...
Was that a natural 20?
I'm not fucking kidding.
That is a natural 20
by this baby boy.
I don't even know.
What the fuck?
Roll the confine, mate.
Was it another natural 20?
No, but it was a 19.
Okay, so your first attack.
Hey, it actually matters this time.
So, box the ears,
normal damage and target is
deafened for 1d4 hours.
Or knock back,
double damage and target is
pushed 1d6 squares
directly away. That one.
Fuck you, what? Double damage and
push back. Imagine this like a golf swing.
Just letting you know though, remember you get
that... Oh no, you can't. Never mind.
You usually get second... You know how you
get that second attack? You do that if you only
attack in a round. I was about to say
but the knockback will stop you from doing that but
no. Because you wouldn't have gotten it anyway
this time.
22 times 2.
44.
Did you do 44 damage in one hit?
Ah, good!
Edric, what are you?
Magic.
I've just spent this whole fight on my back, growling.
I think that kills it.
Yep.
Dead.
You know how you go into negatives?
Pass that.
Dead, dead. Jesus. You swing up with zombie you double dead hit the like the winter wolf in the head the winter wolf's corpse flies
its head it's the body flies one way the head flies another way the skull flies a third way
oh adam amazing gross fuck you well it's go fly several ways they're just two
regular ones left like oh oh Cassius you got three wolves no oh two right I'll
become a whatever I just tell one into bits he's still bad uh yeah yeah Uh, if I, yeah. Yeah, just tear them up. Yeah! Are you shitting me?
What is actually going on?
What the fuck is this?
What the fuck is this?
Another natural 20, ladies and gents.
But does it confirm?
It confirms.
Good.
You hit twice, one of them is a critical.
Motherfucker.
Can I hit two wolves at once?
No.
Oh, well, yes.
Like use one attack and one wolf and one on the other?
Yeah.
I'll do that.
Okay.
So one of them you kill, and then the critical hit one.
Oh, awesome.
So what?
I'm just like, oh.
They still took damage from the cold.
Oh, yeah.
Swing through.
Double damage and one free attack against an adjacent foe at the same time.
There's no other enemies.
No other.
Double damage, though.
Double damage. Is it dead? Is, though. It's a dead wolf.
It's a dead wolf.
Max damage.
Yeah, so you knock one into the ground,
and you bite one and just shake it until there's nothing left.
That just felt like a rage fight.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, there's gore everywhere.
The snow is no longer white.
That's not even an exaggeration.
The snow is actually just thick with red blood.
You've torn apart 24 wolf-sized creatures.
You're covered.
All of you, even you, Zilly, are covered in gore.
There's, like, smoking corpses from the one zilly like fucking hit with the lamp.
I'd like to raise up on my hind
legs and put out my arms as though
for a hug.
I'd like to run in.
We all just have a big ol' bear hug?
Big ol' bear hug. Alright. And we'll cry it out.
I wanna cry it out. We'll cry it out. In the middle of
the gore of 25
bit of a bonding cry moment.
With a bear and two individuals.
A month that pack was hassling your town.
Norma Cain was under the iron, not iron thumb, but like...
Iron paw.
Iron paw of this pack for a month.
Can you heal my thresh?
I'll heal us all up.
It's a little disconcerting when a bear reaches out to heal you.
I'm embracing it.
I've accepted for Cassius of who Cassius is right now.
I like to think I heal when I'm a bear with my big old bear tongue.
I'll heal everyone up as much as I can.
Do that regen thing so I get that con damage gone.
Actually, I don't think I have that.
I was looking.
What is it called?
Lesser Restoration.
I've got some potion of Cure Moderate Wounds.
Do you want some?
Well, Cure Moderate Wounds would cure moderate wounds.
Heal the con damage?
Oh, yeah, I do have Lesser Restoration.
Okay, cool.
Go.
So I'll Lesser...
Are we going to rest the knight here?
Lesser Rest.
Do the Healy Up bits. Maybe if you want. You could probably get into the mouth of the here? Let's arrest, do the Healy up bits.
You could probably get into the mouth of the cave.
Let's do that.
Although that's a little risky with the drought.
There are a bunch of different caves.
You could try the other one.
Let's heal up.
Maybe fight a bear if you do that.
Fight a bear as a bear?
Let's heal up.
I want to look through.
I want to skin that winter wolf.
What, you think the horn's on the inside of its body? No, I just want his pelt. I want to like Look through I want to skin that winter wolf What you think the horn's on the inside No I just want his pelt
I want his god damn pelt
No no that's good
Go for it
Go nuts
You doing that
Who's the best at skinning
Cassius by far
Cassius on a skin
I have to stop being a bear though
Well we're going to rest though
Probably
Alright
So you like
Where are you going to rest
In the mouth of the cave?
Well not yet
We'll work that out
Oh no what I was about to say
Is it's probably best
If Cassius wants to stay a bear
To just like
Hitch the winter wolf
On Cassius
And lumber your way
To the tunnel
Yeah
Let's do that
And then just wait for Cassius' thing
To go away naturally
And then we'll have wolf meat
For dinner
I'll just
Under my back
Also I'm in the back of my head
I'm like he said magical horde.
I just want to think about that.
Pin that on the board.
Pin that now.
Did he say magical horde?
He said he wanted to add,
the winter wolf said he wanted to add it to his magical horde.
You're not sure where their lair is.
It could be one of the caves.
Yeah.
We can have a casual search.
Yeah, let's just heal up first,
so then Adam knows how much we are at
before he just dies.
I know how much you're at. No a bit with healing though with healing after healing yeah
we'll find a safe little can we is it possible to find a cave that's not like the entrance to the
cave but more just like a little alcove we could set up yeah we'll do that okay just so we don't
get surprised somewhere safe from the wind yeah okay uh you do that maybe you light a fire as
well because it's probably pretty cold yeah you're not in the cave proper.
So, how much of your healing are you going to use, Cassius?
Oh, as much as I can.
How many healing spells do you have?
No one picked up the wand, did they?
No, it's still at the opening.
I've got some potions, though.
That's good.
Well, I used...
You remember you've used the three injure elements as well.
Yeah, I've used the three injure elements.
I used...
So what's lesser...
Regen first.
We'll do that one because that's the different...
Yeah.
That's the one that needs my throat healed.
Yep, I used lesser restoration.
You're fully healed on that one.
Restoration lesser, which is a second level spell.
So your hit points go back to maximum and you gain another six hit points.
And then I'll have to use all my first level spells as second level spells.
Heal yourself the most, I guess.
Do you heal to full if you turn into an animal?
If I turn into a human, I heal to full.
Hey, Adam?
Beg pardon?
If I turn back, do I heal to full?
No.
I think you only heal some points.
I know we did that before.
That's polymorph.
Maybe the spell polymorph shows me.
I'm just trying to think strategically how to use the most heals
with your shapeshifting ability.
Welcome to adventuring.
Right?
You're like, let's figure out heals.
Because I'm like in fifth head, we're like, sneaky nap for health.
Sneaky nap.
Sneaky fifth head nap.
Yeah, that's partially why they did that.
Sneaky fifth head nap.
Sneaky fifth head nap.. Sneaky fifth third. Nah.
Good.
It is good.
Because really, you could just quickly change to an alligator.
Yeah.
Full health.
As if you would sleep for a night.
So you'd gain six.
Okay.
So you'd change back to human.
I'd change back to human.
Sort everyone out.
It's a lesser restoration.
So one healing montage later.
Yep.
Everyone is at full hit points, except
Cassius.
Cassius, you're on 54 hit points.
I got you as high as I could.
I kind of ended it
with you because you get a bunch of hit
points from other things.
Yeah, no worries.
And you also get hit points when you shift.
Let's skin that winter wolf.
I'll skin the winter wolf.
You skin the winter wolf, which is a remarkable success.
You've got like a perfect...
You even skin it in the form of a cape.
With like the head as a thing.
You've just done that.
How many capes?
I'll give it to Edric.
He killed it.
And then you stay the night here.
Where do I write winter wolf on my...
Where do I write that?
There should be like items on person's shoulders.
Yeah, write winter wolf cape if you want.
Does that give me anything?
Or just like plus one to cool levels?
If you want to say that, it gives you plus one man child.
No, that's train pajamas.
Train pajamas though, how cool.
So yeah, so plus one to cool?
Yes.
You can make up a stat called cool if you like.
It's not going to come in.
Plus one cool.
Plus one super radical.
My weasel gets hit points back.
Your weasel gets hit points back.
What?
Yeah, it gets six, yeah.
Yeah.
It had a nap.
We have a nap and maybe take a nap.
Take a cursory glance at the caves. No, we're not going. Not yet. No, no, no. We'll just have a nap And maybe take a Take a cursory glance
At the caves
No we're not
Not yet
No no no
We'll just have a nap
Okay
We'll have a sleep
Yeah
And maybe have like
Some guarding
You know like
You know take some
Shifting like you know
So no we don't get
Well obviously yeah
I'm assuming
Killed in the night
Yeah
I don't want to get
Killed in the night Adam
Will the guard they set
Spot what I plan to
Throw at them in the night
Or are they dragon food?
Find out next time on Husperma Pride, a D&D is for Nerds adventure.
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