D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company I #14 Intro to Bone Room

Episode Date: August 7, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:00 SANSPANCE RADIO, Australia's most procedurally generated podcast network. stories of the Greyhill Free Company. She can knock me out. She doesn't need to stabilise me or anything. I'm just... Yeah, you don't need to be stabilised. You're just unconscious now. Well, then she'll use her action surge to attack the kobold who did this to me. Love is blind. And... The kobold ducks
Starting point is 00:00:38 and Love is Blind's lasso goes around Chantel's unconscious neck and then he pulls it tight. She takes two failed saving throws. Two failed saves! Can you roll a saving throw for Chantel? If she gets a nine or less, she's dead.
Starting point is 00:00:56 She's dead! She got a nine. I guess how far away are they? If I could, say, turn into some kind of hawk, fly down and then come back, would that be You would have enough time. Okay. Hawk!
Starting point is 00:01:08 Fly. With that noise, you transform into a hawk and fly. Fish man turning into a hawk. Are you allowed to transform into something with a flying speed? Not only do you do a bad job, you don't know that you've done a bad job. You think you've done a really good job. We're covered. And your bad job is
Starting point is 00:01:29 not detected by the party. Persuade Aeola to get into the fight. I'll allow it. Oh no, I hope no one is good at fighting. Global persuasion is not your strong suit, unfortunately. So, that was
Starting point is 00:01:45 yeah you literally say that you don't literally say that you may be like that was oof that was oof damn yeah I'm sorry you rolled pretty poorly that's okay
Starting point is 00:02:01 love is blind oh that's right. He's done a... For some reason, I'm like... Tabachi. Tabachi. Tabachi. Tabachi is a food that Tabaxi like.
Starting point is 00:02:13 For some reason, I'm like... Tabaxi. Ranger. Love is blind is a sorcerer. I keep forgetting. And he is going to... Oh, that's right. Sorcery points.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Christ, you're so useful. Why don't you ever do something? He's going to lightning lure. He creates a lasso of lightning and tries to throw it around one of the kobolds. He strikes! The kobold takes... 8 points of damage. Alright, that's one kobold takes... 8 points of damage. Alright, that's one kobold down.
Starting point is 00:02:46 So there's 3 left. No, 4 left. There's the one that has the spears. I always keep them separate. And Big T, it's your turn. I would like to attack those who have wronged me. I would like to let them glavet.
Starting point is 00:03:03 Don't get furious. You want to try that again? Oh, I thought that kind of... glave it. Don't get furious. You want to try that again? Oh, I thought that kind of... No, it's fine. Go on. I thought it was great. You're going to get furious or you're going to do these level-headed? A good reminder.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Someone's got to do it. Yeah, absolutely. Yes, I forgot about my rage, but now I've remembered! All right. You slash out and you are raging. Yeah! Make sure you mark it off. And you absolutely don't kill one of
Starting point is 00:03:32 the kobolds. No, 8 points of damage. Yeah, you demolish one of the kobolds. There's two, three left, sorry. There are different categories of kobold for me. In my notes at least. So, would you like to do anything else, Big T? That was your action?
Starting point is 00:03:48 Do you have a bonus action? No, your bonus action was to rage. It's the kobolds' turn. They, well, so two of them are going to draw daggers, I guess, and they go in for you, Big T. They work in concert together, and that gives them advantage on their attacks. Crush their fingers.
Starting point is 00:04:08 And then their skulls. Burst their eardrums. They'll never play again. They'll be right out of this town. Only one of them manages to hit you, dealing only two points of damage because you're raging, so you're resistant. So the two points is the total. And then
Starting point is 00:04:23 the strong one draws another spear and is also going to attack you big T that is oh wow nope it's a hit just barely a hit but he also deals half damage because you are
Starting point is 00:04:41 raging he only deals three points of damage. And then, Global, it's your turn. You're already primed, so it doesn't matter. Yes. Can I crawl over to my good friend, Big T, and put a moist hand on her ankle and just cure wounds?
Starting point is 00:05:00 You can crawl over, yeah. Excellent. Oh, you're so wet. Big T, you recover nine hit points. You can crawl over, yeah. Excellent. You recover wounds. Big T, you recover nine hit points. Your wounds knit back. The kobolds look dismayed at this. Love is blind. Another lightning lure.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Unfortunately, he misses. And Big T, it's your turn. I want another one! I glaive the next. I gingerly remove my foot from my good friend's wet, wet hand. As you're swinging around, you bring your glaive down, and it dips into the earth, meaning that when you try to swing it over your head,
Starting point is 00:05:40 it kind of collects too much dirt as it goes over, and unfortunately your attack misses. That's all I can do. Just a reminder as well, you have an ability called Reckless Rage, which you don't always have to use. But when you recklessly rage, enemies have advantage to hit you, and you have advantage to hit them. Oh. I guess. You don't have to use it right now?
Starting point is 00:06:03 No, no, no. Let's use it now. I'm going wild. You end up hitting. Who knows what I'll do? Don't use this back at me. I'll be sad. You destroy another kobold.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Yeah. There's two left. It's their turn. Big T is crazy. It's their turn. Big T is crazy. It's their turn. They turn tail and run. They both disengage and start sprinting off. Idiots, they're going to hit me.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Globble, it's your turn. I will try and... 60 feet away from you. Entangle both of them. Both of them need to make dexterity saving throws. They both fail. They both become hopelessly mired in roots, root shoots in automobiles. No.
Starting point is 00:06:55 They both become hopelessly entangled as the roots from nearby trees twist and grab them. And I think that doesn't hurt them, does it? No, it just keeps them in place. All right. For my good friends to then grab them. And I think that doesn't hurt them, does it? No, it just keeps them in place. All right. For my good friends to then destroy them. That was Globble, your turn. It's Lover's Blind's turn.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Lover's Blind's going to Lightning Lure again. He strikes. The lasso goes around one of the kobolds' necks, strangling them. That kobold dies. One kobold left, and it is, Big T, your turn. Big T, you, so entangle is not a very, it doesn't differentiate between friend or foe.
Starting point is 00:07:36 So if you want to go attack, oh, no, wait, you've got the glaive, which has reach. No, you're fine, actually. Oh, I'm going to get him. I'd like to attack once more. All right. You hit. which I've reached. No, you're fine, actually. I'm going to get him! I'd like to attack once more. Alright. You hit.
Starting point is 00:07:50 I would like to cause... You know that calm in the rage? I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm in the eye of the storm. All I know is Sol's leaving. You deal 13 points of damage. That kobold is still standing. It's their turn. That kobold is going to try and work himself free.
Starting point is 00:08:05 No, no. Don't do that. No kobold is going to try and work himself free. No, no. Don't do that. No. You don't need to. Simply suffer. Strength. No, he fails to do so. That's his turn.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Globble, it's your turn. Right. I would like to produce flame and get deliciously burning hot flame between my wet, wet hands. Gross. You hit him dealing three points of damage. Just this lovely little thing of steam around you. Your hands have a steamy little aura. That's cute.
Starting point is 00:08:36 Love is blind. Lightning lasso also hits. Love is blind also does three points of damage. You're doing good. That looks like I start crawling towards him. Big T, I assume you also? Yes. You also hit.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Will you do three points of damage like your compatriots? No, you deal ten points of damage. Well, I'll take what I can get, Adam. They're still standing. Oh, this is not good. Fails to get free. Global. Produce flame. In for a penny and for a pound. I love
Starting point is 00:09:13 Pediatrics! You deal seven points of damage. Pfft. Lightning lure. Critical hit! Hey! Mwaaaaaaah hey search of power maximum damage and you can immediately cast the same spell against the same target expending your spell slot yep all right he goes again he hits again he deals a total 15 points of damage i think that's enough i think he's had had enough. Like he's, he's at zero hit points, but I think that's enough.
Starting point is 00:09:47 You know what I mean? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Well, if he falls, I'll end the spell.
Starting point is 00:09:55 All right. You do so. Cool. Um, can I leave him there? Oh wait, can you? Can I? I think I always remember entangle being like the fucking L spell. Concentration?
Starting point is 00:10:07 No, it's concentration. I remember being in like, say, you know, Boulder's Gate or whatever. We cast it and you're like, well now I have to wait. Yeah, it's like that in all of the other editions of D&D as well. Really? Yeah, you cast it and then it's there for the duration. So you have to like wait like a minute or whatever.
Starting point is 00:10:23 And it doesn't differentiate between front or front. Well, I'll get up. I can walk, yeah? Yeah. Just quickly before we venture too far away from it, the funniest spell, though, Cass, is a druid spell that creates... So basically it's entangled, but instead of magically creating roots that grab people,
Starting point is 00:10:41 all the plant life in a certain range just like just like explodes and grows really suddenly and really powerfully it's druids will sometimes like uh it's it's often explained in dnd that farmers will be like hey can you do that spell for my crops what a good way that's really cute And it's just a really funny thing. One time I was in a game, and we, because it's got a big area of effect, we destroyed a road doing that. Anyway, it's just funny that we destroyed infrastructure. Sorry, yeah, you managed to bring down the last of the kobolds.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Excellent, excellent. Well, I assume the effect where I keep slipping on my wound ends. It eventually ends, yeah. You feel winded, but that's it. Okay, well, that was a close call. Having stopped and looking around, you can see that those plumes of smoke are getting closer. They are making ground on you. How is Eola looking, and is that shield still good?
Starting point is 00:11:45 The egg shield. Oh? The egg shield. Oh, the egg shield. It's made of metal, so you don't want to use it. I'm all fumbled with this. Oh, if only it was wood. No, it's... I'll take it. It's a matter of principle, my friend. Actually, I don't think you have
Starting point is 00:12:00 the same reservations. So you can actually, I believe, I'll double check, but I think you can still use the shield. It would just be like, lore-wise, you'd be like, hmm. Yeah, needs must. Maybe it's a dirty cobbled shield, but look, needs must right now. It's a bit gross. I'll just slip his dead arm out, and I'll put that on my, there we go.
Starting point is 00:12:25 You can add a shield. It would be just a regular shield. I think they only have shields. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the idea that you can't use metal because you're too wet. Like, wood at least will absorb some of it. You can have the right amount of friction. But metal, you're like, it's just too slippy.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Oh, no. It still says druids will not wear armor or use shields made of metal. Air. Too slippy. All right, so here's the trade-off. You can have this shield if you want. Trade-off is while you are using this shield, it disrupts your connection to the natural order,
Starting point is 00:13:01 and you cannot use your spells. Air, right. This is gross to me. I find your spells while you have the shield. This is gross to me. I find this abhorrent. Metal shield. Yuck. Do you want this big T? Can big T use a shield? I mean, he's using a glaive, so probably not.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Yeah, you use a two-handed weapon. I mean, I think you can use a shield. Can I stick it through my glaive? No, unfortunately not. Can you put it on your back? Oh, can the word, like, a hat? I mean, like, unfortunately not. Have on your back. Oh, can I wear like a hat? Backpack? I mean, like you could put it on your back.
Starting point is 00:13:28 It doesn't provide any benefit on your back. That looks nice. Look good. Yeah, sure. It looks good. Yeah. Anyway, let's quickly see if any of these cobblers have anything and let's just leave. We could cover their heads, but I think we have higher priorities right now of getting out. We need to
Starting point is 00:13:45 get the others. As in get them dead. Yes. How's all those? Hi's! Gosh. Wow, you are lucky. You guess this must have been like some sort of decent hit squad or something like that.
Starting point is 00:14:01 You find an eight pack of healing potions. They've been equipped pretty well. Right. You find an eight pack of healing potions. They've been equipped pretty well. Right. You find an eight pack of healing potions. And hang on, let me generate some other stuff for you. You also find a bottle of vinegar. Okay. A sewing kit.
Starting point is 00:14:20 All right. Sewing kit, bottle of vinegar. A portable tent for two. Well, this is useful. All right. Serenget bottle of vinegar. A portable tent for two. Well, this is useful. Is it for two as in too comfortably or two as in physically two? Physically two. Is that like one? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:37 A bag. No, you find 20 pittons. All right. Okay. A hundred feet of rope. The rare 100-foot rope, not a 50-foot of rope. Luft instead of soft. And you pry off the lead kobold's finger a ring.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Ew, this is neat. When you hold the ring... Oh, highs or lows? Let's get highs. The ring has no markings whatsoever. It's made out of wood, but when you pry it off the kobold's dead hand,
Starting point is 00:15:12 you can tell that it feels energized. It has an aura to it. Right, so magic ring. This is useful. Okay, well, let's keep going. I'll keep searching for... Other than that, they had their equipment, which was slings and daggers and a spear.
Starting point is 00:15:30 I'll keep searching and trying to find where this... I know the Dwarven Fortress should be around here. How are you going with the tracks, Big T? Completely covered. No one's finding us. They did find us there. Perhaps double down and do a bit of a... Do you want to have a look at Big T's handiwork?
Starting point is 00:15:47 I mean... That was lucky. I mean, I covered our tracks, but we're still big. Because I'm just like, well, if they're saying they're doing a good job, they're doing a good job. But then I'm like, but they did find us. Well, sometimes people just find you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:00 Look, I'll have a quick squeeze of what they... I mean, yes, I'll have a quick squeeze. All right. I'm like, well, if you can see, you're doing a great job. what they... I mean, yes, I'll have a quick squeeze. All right. I'm like, well, if you can see, you're doing a great job. Can I get a number between 1 and 29? You're doing an amazing job. Must I say, about five. Must I say, big T, what's happened here, I think,
Starting point is 00:16:18 is that they've probably sent like six or seven different scout parties in different directions, and that's how they found us. So well done, Keep at it. Can you imagine if I hadn't have done this? Lose a gold piece. A PC loses one gold piece if the players decide who. Who loses a gold piece? I'll do it.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Okay. That was good to say. Well, you go highs, I go lows. We'll roll. Oh, yeah, let's do that. Do you want highs? Yeah. I lose a gold piece. Do you want highs? Yeah. Yeah, I do. I lose a gold, please.
Starting point is 00:16:47 This is among my favorite ones. Yeah. I like Cass's look. What are you thinking, Cass? Genuinely? I don't know why, but the thought going through my mind was, I did a good job.
Starting point is 00:17:02 And I don't know why. I don't know if that's my character thinking they did it, or I do. I don't know why. I don't know if that's my character thinking they did it or I do. I don't think I did anything. I didn't even roll the dice. We'll sell Geronimo. Love is blind. Almost materializes back out
Starting point is 00:17:19 of the forest. You didn't realize they peeled away while you were doing this. I have found it. You found it you found it yes it is not far from here oh let's get we must hurry I'll keep covering the tracks
Starting point is 00:17:30 I'm doing a good job do you want I'll assist me as well we don't know I don't really need help but okay if you want to
Starting point is 00:17:37 yes I'll hand the ring to Love is Blind oh what's that and you are yeah we found I found this on one of them I don't know if it is perhaps you can have a look
Starting point is 00:17:44 when we get some time. Actually, look, Big T, you're doing a great job. I'll scarper as well. And now a quick word from our sponsors. Also, we now have tees for sale on our website, sanspantsradio.com. It's only taken us
Starting point is 00:17:59 10 years to actually get our shit together, but we finally did it. No more having to throw dubious links to a third party website or have to deal with poor layouts of other e-stores now we just have to deal with the poor layout of our own e-store there's a heap of designs currently available including but not limited to a very grumpy gigalump a brown traveler tee and more just head to sanspantsradio.com slash shop and check out all our new merchandise. So, Love is Blind leads you to a rock face.
Starting point is 00:18:33 It looks like a strange, just big, mossy lump on the side of a cliff of sorts. But as you get closer, it remains. No, both of you realize that the moss is covering a, there's obviously a stone carving of a dwarf's face, and the moss has kind of grown over over time, has grown over and covered up this face. So what would have been once probably quite visible is now hard to distinguish from just the flora and fauna around it. And you can see that where the dwarf's mouth is,
Starting point is 00:19:17 there is a squat iron door. Oh, it's a guy. Yeah, there's a door here. Oh. Yeah. There's a door's a guy. Yeah, there's a door here. Oh. Yeah. There's a door and a guy. Well, we'll go have a look. I can't fit, can I?
Starting point is 00:19:32 Has anyone looked at it yet? So the iron door, oh, no one's approached yet. Yeah, yeah. The iron door, it's kind of like in a circular-esque shape, and you can see along the top of the door, there is, scrolled in the runic craft of Dwarvish, there are some words. Do either of you know Dwarvish?
Starting point is 00:19:52 I do. Yes. I know Dwarvish. You're illiterate. Oh, yeah. You can speak Dwarvish. Oh, this looks like the bars I go to. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Shut your fucking mouth. Looks like the bars I go to. Yeah, no one here knows what these words mean. I think there's a bar in there. Sure. I mean, there probably is. Or a mine. Could also be as well.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Are you vocalizing any of this? Yeah. Look, maybe back, it looks long any of this? Yeah. Probably. Look, maybe back. It looks long abandoned, yeah? Yeah. You know this place is abandoned. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Perhaps it was Wotsuba. Probably a mine, though. Look, you know dwarves. They love their mines. Well, have we looked at the entrance to see if it's any traps or does it look suspicious? I have a bit of a squiz. I hoik up my fancy pants and just like kind of like squiz. I guess I'm a fish boy. You investigate. How would they bend down?
Starting point is 00:20:53 A lot of bent knees, I imagine. You know? I imagine you would squat out like a frog. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Kind of like, you know, when you get like the knees out like. Yeah. I imagine that would be the noise of squat food. Great bit of physical comedy on this podcast.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Imagine a frog was, damn it, done. I keep imagining Kloppel as a bit more like a frog than a fish. I don't know why. I imagine fishy head, fishy chubby body, frog limbs. Yeah. But wet, wet hands. So wet. Just like a very moist boy. body, frog limbs. Yeah. But wet, wet hands. So wet. Just like a very moist boy.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Oh, my God. Can you imagine him eating ham? Oh, my God. So sleepy. Just keeps falling out. So you both, yeah, well, no, you both, sorry, just Globble. Globble, you inspect the door. You see nothing out of the ordinary.
Starting point is 00:21:46 There's a big brass knocker in the iron door slash handle. You think it is the method to open the door, but you're not sure if the door is locked or trapped. Well, you don't think it's trapped. Yeah, I mean, we can just open this door, I guess. Open the door. You grab and pull. The door resists being opened, but you're able to...
Starting point is 00:22:11 No, you're not. Never mind. It just resists being opened. Big T, do you mind opening this door? Yeah. Like opening up a jar back at camp. I'm bigger. I'll have a go.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Big T, you are significantly more successful in that you do open the door. Oh, it's just because your hands are wet. Same with the jar. Man. As you pull, as you grab and pull, the words around the door or over the door flare with arcane energies. That doesn't happen at the bar. Nothing happens. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Well, that was curious. Shall we? Is there any other entrances around this area, or is it just this door? It just appears this one. You've opened the door, though. Can I try and throw a rock in? Okay. Do you have darkvision, by the way?
Starting point is 00:22:57 No. Okay. So you can't see very far inside. You see that there's some room beyond this door, but darkness immediately swallows anything. Can I throw a torch in or roll a torch in? Look, I'll produce flame so we can kind of see out there, and I'll roll it down, but then it's kind of like,
Starting point is 00:23:15 is this the only entrance here? Because I'm assuming if the Kerbalos, hopefully, if they find that, then we can just bar this entrance, yes? I do not know if there is another entrance. I think it would be folly to assume it was the only entrance, but unless the kobolds are familiar with this place, in which case there is... If the kobolds know of another entrance,
Starting point is 00:23:38 then we were already fucked. That's a good point. Well, yes. We'll hurl a flame uh in have a peek you throw the ball of flames into the room you both are everyone is quite startled even yayola is like like shocked out of her her terror you throw the ball of flames and the room as it's lit up as the ball of fire streaks down it you can see this room is maybe it's quite large it's maybe like a hundred feet deep so or well it's deeper than the fireball extends the
Starting point is 00:24:12 fireball eventually peters out but as it lights up the room you see piles upon piles upon piles of bones oh well that's warisome old bones old old bones yeah yeah well that's worrisome. Old bones? Old, old bones, yeah. Less worrisome. Oh, that's not for us. Right, does anyone know? Look, everyone, into the bone hall, let's just go.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Let's bar the doors. Let's just do this. Let's have this conversation in there. Lock ourselves in the bone room, clever and good. Lock ourselves in the bone room. Good and smart. Clever and good. Lock ourselves in the bone room. Good and smart. Thank you very much. You lock yourselves in the bone room.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Is it clever to lock ourselves in the bone room? I say to Love is Blind as we lock ourselves in the bone room. I do not know if the evil we know is better than the evil we don't. I mean, no one's going to find us. That's true. I covered that track. They're not going to know where we are.
Starting point is 00:25:05 We probably don't have to lock the door. Better to be safe than sorry there, Big T. Better to be safe than sorry. All right, I warned you. So when we're fleeing whatever made all these boats, then we have to stop and open a locked door. Stupid us. All right and open a locked door. Stupid ass. All right.
Starting point is 00:25:27 We bar the door. Everyone hurries inside, and I assume someone produces a light of some sort? Oh, yes. I'll just keep constantly producing flame. Okay. You, holding a ball of fire in your hands, you can see the light illuminates this room, and it dances across the bones it feels like you're just in an expanse of bones you know that this is this must be a room with walls and a ceiling
Starting point is 00:25:51 but you can really only just see piles of bones in all directions when you close the door you can see on your side of the door there is a giant mech oh not a giant it's these doors were maybe uh it was maybe big enough for a person to pass through. So you actually assume there must be another entrance, because like carts surely had to come in and out. So there must be some other entrance or exit.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Well, I'll make a note of that. But on this other side of the door there is a mechanism about a man in width and on either side of it there is a handle. So there's two handles. It looks like the mechanism turns. Right.
Starting point is 00:26:32 It could be a lock. It's on the back of the door. You don't know. Yeah, look, investigate it a bit further. Is this a lock? If you want to lock the door, you can lock the door. It looks like a lock. If you have a really close look at it, you don't know mechanical
Starting point is 00:26:45 machines very much. Deal with wood. There's a little slot, like a little hole, and through the hole you can see another piece of dwarven script. It's like a single character. It's shaped like this.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Describe the symbol. Is anybody familiar to you, Big T? Like a sound? You're illiterate. You don't know what that could be. This particular thing made now? The Dwarven language goes by rote memorization. There's no way to intuit something in it.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Do you mean it's not phonetic? Pretty much, yeah. So no one can even just sound it out for me. You can't sound it out. Well, you don't know what the sounds are. I can speak Dwarvish. Yeah, but how would that translate to understand reading it? Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:27:35 I was wondering if someone else was able to just... It's a different alphabet. I don't think anyone knows this alphabet. Let me check. None of you... Oh, and love is blind. Celestial, common, dr draconic primordial oh actually holy shit okay i'd allow it primordial uses the same alphabet yeah oh could you say what
Starting point is 00:27:55 it sounds like if it's dwarfish i know how to say it you're able to work it out love is blind though he does not speak dwarf and he knows the sounds that this thing makes. He sounds it out for you and you recognize it as the Dwarven word for 600. Oh, 600. Is that how many bones are in here?
Starting point is 00:28:18 Perhaps. Does anyone know much about, I mean, you've spent some time with Dwarves. Do you know much about their burial rites? Is this like a sort of graveyard crypt? This is not a crypt. No. This is the entranceway to a dwarven fortress or stronghold of some sort. These people also, like these bones, you look around,
Starting point is 00:28:38 these people, if they were buried here, they were buried alive. Yeah. Are they dwarven bones as well? Yeah, they are dwarven bones as well? Yeah, they are dwarven bones. After scenes you've been here long enough, everyone in the light of your spell can realize that what you thought was just like a strange pattern on the wall is actually hundreds and thousands of scratch marks in the stone wall.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Oh, no. Oh, no. On the plus side, it seems like they've got enough. They probably don't need any more bones. Yes. Fucking hell. Shut up. Well, I guess if all these people couldn't unlock
Starting point is 00:29:17 the door, perhaps we don't lock the door. Let's just bar it. There's no way to bar it. Is anything around like pubes or bones? You'd have to start searching the door. Let's just bar it. There's no way to bar it. Is there anything around, like, pubes or bones? You'd have to start searching the room. Okay. Well, I'm going to start in... Can anyone see in the dark as well, or is everyone a bit...
Starting point is 00:29:35 Yayola has dark vision, but Yayola has been completely silent. Oh, so does Love is Blind. I didn't know Tabaxi had dark vision. Sorry. Love is Blind can see in the dark. Yes, I can see. Why don't we go try and find something to bar the door? I don't want to use the mechanism because if they can't get through these...
Starting point is 00:29:55 I don't want to touch the mechanism. That's fair. Yes. You split off into two groups. Love is Blind on his own. And then Globble and you, Tree Stump, you presumably also got off in your own group. And Yayola just stays by the door.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Yes. Confusing the budge. That's fair. Can you come outside with me and we try and read what says on the front door? Yes. Alright. We can do that. Just in case. You do that. I'll go look for her. It seems important if we already are in here and it had the clue.
Starting point is 00:30:27 Yeah, you read the front door. I'll go and look for things that will be strong and are not bones to lock the door with. The door outside is a lot harder. The Dwarven script is complicated. Every word is affected by the word that comes before and the word that comes after. And every word in itself has a suffix and a prefix that can completely change what the word means.
Starting point is 00:30:53 So it is very difficult to... It's kind of like, imagine... Yeah, imagine every time you get a new sound, it puts everything else that has happened into a new context because it can have a cascading effect. So as you get a new sound, you're like, oh, this previous word actually means this. And that means the word before that means this. So you kind of need to juggle every single word, every single sound actually in your head at one time. It's incredibly dense work.
Starting point is 00:31:26 But somehow, Tree Stump, with an intelligence of nine, is able to do this. I Patrick Star my way through this. To whoever opens these doors, to whoever opens these holes, may your spirit dwell within. Oh, it's us. Oh, no. It's a curse. Yeah, that's not good.
Starting point is 00:31:58 The message on the door is cheeky. The message on the door is cheeky. It is cheeky. Hope your spirit dwells within. I get a bad boycott for an unrelated reason. You rolled poorly on something. Oh, fuck. Can I get a number between 1 and 29? 4.
Starting point is 00:32:17 4? What did you say? An NPC takes a sudden dislike to a PC. I'm going to put that one in my back pocket. Aww. Aww. Aww. We're nothing but friendly. Well, I like that it can be sudden,
Starting point is 00:32:31 so we could be nice and it could just... It could be fucking love is blind, suddenly like, I don't like you. Aww. You've given me the ick. Yeah, so, yeah, that's it. You go back inside? Mm- back inside I share what I've found Are you worried about what happened when those words
Starting point is 00:32:51 Flared with magical energy And then nothing immediately happened Yeah Is tree stump? No You are tree stump Yes, but now I'm Cass I'm talking to Adam. Hey, Adam.
Starting point is 00:33:05 Hey, Cass. How does Tree Stump feel? Let's go behind the music. How does Tree Stump feel about what? The flaring that you mentioned. Oh, you. No, no, I'm telling you. That's what you rolled a one on.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Tree Stump has no particular opinion. Tree Stump could have had an opinion, but has none. That is your one. Just to sort of give some background, because Tree Stump cannot see it, it's gone. Tree Stump, she got object permanence, you know? No, she doesn't. Well, you're quite tall, and this place was built for dwarves,
Starting point is 00:33:39 so the words are actually, you need to duck your head to get in. So as you go in, it might worry you because it's above your head. But when you stand back up, you're like, well, actually. You're above the curse. Makes sense. I can't feel what's lower than eye height. I do not do fucking well if someone's taller than me. That's why I like to get in the trees.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Right. Well, does Love is Blind say anything? How do they feel? Love is Blind doesn't know Dwarven culture. They only knew the script because of Primordial. I only made a roll for Tree Stump because knowing Dwarven script would mean that you'd have some familiarity with their culture
Starting point is 00:34:19 and you might know some more information about this curse, but unfortunately you rolled a one. So you've said that it's a bit of a cheeky curse. Yes, so it says that they hope that everyone who's here, spirit lives on. I'm so sorry. I do want to say it word for word. I have just forgotten what the word.
Starting point is 00:34:42 To whoever disturbs these halls, may your spirit lie here forever. So I can guess what happened to these guys. I gestured to the bones. Right. Well, I guess let's not... Do we have to be here? We need to...
Starting point is 00:34:58 Well, we need to avoid the cobbles. What if we make the cobbles think we're in here but we're not? Let's make new tracks because I avoid the cobbles. What if we make the cobbles think we're in here, but we're not? I mean, yes. Let's make new tracks because I covered the old ones, leaning into here, and then we go somewhere else, and I cover the new tracks. And where are we going to go?
Starting point is 00:35:16 Up a tree. It's not a bad idea. Safest place. Where are you all standing right now? Between the bones near the door. Yeah. I guess love is blind as having a gander. Did I search in my looking around?
Starting point is 00:35:32 Oh, right, sorry, you were searching around. Sorry, I couldn't find anything. Did I get anything? We were dealing with the curse. All right. I can't find anything. Your light illuminates parts of this large hallway. You find it is a room 40 feet by 100 feet deep.
Starting point is 00:35:44 this large hallway, you find it is a room 40 feet by 100 feet deep. There are grand but squat still statues of dwarves lining both of the walls. The dwarves don't appear to be anyone you know. They could have been dwarves who lived here or just famous dwarves. You're not sure. They are all of them. They seem to be dressed as miners miners not warriors or anything like that okay but like they they all have pickaxes they're all wearing like helmets with like a lantern upon them and uh some of them are depicted with mine carts next to them you see a second set of doors behind
Starting point is 00:36:21 you and oh sorry at the other end of this corridor and just before that set of doors there are defenses there are stone defenses which like half walls and arrow slits and stuff like that which are obviously meant to fight people coming from the direction you came from from outside and you can see temporary barriers mostly rotted away made of wood and some stone furniture that have just been heaped up that are quite obviously meant to defend against something coming from deeper within a lot of those barricades have been knocked aside right so looking around is it only dwarven bones or is it anything else It's hard to tell because there's a lot of bones here. The amount of skulls you see must number in the hundreds. So it's actually just hard to tell.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Certainly it's mostly dwarves. Okay. So they were protecting themselves from something coming outside, but they were also protecting them from something coming deeper within the mine. Yeah, the permanent defenses look like they were like, oh, something will attack us from outside. Of course. But the temporary defenses indicate something attacked them from within.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Right. Well, as is the custom of dwarves, I feel they might have dug a bit too deep and something came out. So we should get out. It does have very good defenses for anything coming in. It's just, and right now, look, these bones are a couple hundred years old. Is that what we thought? They're very dry.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Yeah, they're very old bones. So perhaps whatever destroyed the dwarves has long gone, unless they're now using this as their... I think back to that split-open dragon on a horde. And when a dragon finds a horde, do they leave it alone and then leave? Say what? Yeah, if we all think really hard,
Starting point is 00:38:23 connection there? Is there any... Well, have a think. Whatever did this could have been a dragon, yeah. Well, actually, have a look. Is there any, like, scorch marks or... Yeah, does it look like the bones were dried with fire? Let's do some Sherlock Holmes CSI D&D-esque looking around.
Starting point is 00:38:43 You do see obvious damage to the stonework. It looks like stone has been melted in parts. What? Yes. That's not possible. This is not good. Stone has been somehow just dissolved and melted in places. Is there acid?
Starting point is 00:39:03 Yes, acid. I think I know some dragons can produce acid. You also, after this second investigation, you can tell that from the set of double doors, those, oh, actually, no, they would have been broken. Sorry, I'm so sorry. There are double doors, but they are broken inwards into your room. You can see through those double doors, there is a light inwards into your room. You can see through those double doors there is a light in
Starting point is 00:39:27 another room just past you. Something's like sparkling. Like gold. Did we find anything to barricade the doors with? Which doors? The entrance door. Oh, the one you've already come through? Yes. There are temporary barricades and stuff like that that you can disassemble and reassemble
Starting point is 00:39:44 there, sure. But that light is sparking. Something light. This is in your current room? Yes. The light that's sparkling is in the next room. Yes. And I feel barricading and not investigate that would be silly. It's up to you.
Starting point is 00:39:57 I can go look at the light. Why don't... I could be sneaky. Okay. All right. Do you have a light? Do you have a light there? Let's have a look
Starting point is 00:40:06 What do you want? How about this? Let me take my bag Why don't we do this together? Torch Okay Do you hear that? Hear what?
Starting point is 00:40:14 What did Love is Blind hear? Find out next time on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company Hey, did you love Dinosaur Park? The whole dinosaur saga, even. Well, did you know that just as the Jolls wrap up their adventures in the vast reaches of space, a brand new adventure has begun? On the very same night that the Joles entered Dinosaur Park, Jackson's good friends Adam and Cash found themselves trapped in Dinosaur Land, Jackson's nightmare of a theme park. If you want to be part of the next chapter of the Dinosaur
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