D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company II #20 Fireside Introspection

Episode Date: March 26, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:46 lord and ruler of the Dungeon Cast and greatest and most undisputed powerful demon lord in the known cosmos. Shout out to Demogorgon and all praise Demogorgon. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Home of comedy, culture, adventures and ghosts. Previously, on the stories from the Greyhill Free Company. It fell in.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Can you dig? Is it shrugs? I'm guessing it's too much for two people to dig. You start heading downstairs and the water begins to get higher and higher upon you. You start having to like kind of like wade through. You want to keep that? You want to keep that? Yeah. You want to keep it?
Starting point is 00:01:49 Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. That's clever. So you are not hit by a rock.
Starting point is 00:01:57 He tried to trick you. Okay. She drags you up onto her side, not the side that you want to be on. You look and you see the pile of rocks that has crushed her deck. Do any of these look familiar at all? You are uncertain, but you both think that this is the one that you fucked up on. And you think you know the way again.
Starting point is 00:02:15 I love being an idiot. Yep. All right. Cool. All right. Hell yeah. You go down the pathway. Immediately you're like, oh, thank God.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Oh my God. You have a fire, but you all sleep just on the ground. I like to imagine we just didn't even bother keeping a watch. No, I went to sleep. No, I don't think that happens on account of there's still a lot of iron golems around. Golems around. Yeah, good point. Good point.
Starting point is 00:02:39 We keep playing. A watch is kept. A watch is kept. Do we lose our exhaustion or is that not good? exhaustion? You recover a level of exhaustion. Zia Mia just produces more lizards or geckos or whatever. And you have a quite gross but nonetheless
Starting point is 00:02:54 meal. It's delicious nevertheless. Thank you. Thank you. Maybe let's start asking Tavitine questions maybe about that little bathtub of messages. He shrugs. What would you ask? I ask if there was a turn of phrase on the words or something like that, if it was very clear in precise instructions, or was there any kind of flavour around it?
Starting point is 00:03:20 He nods at the first one. Okay, okay. So just basic instructions. He nods. Do you have any idea who hired you? He shakes his head. Do you have any idea who hires us for most of these particular missions? Could you name one person who has hired you? You've done like ten missions.
Starting point is 00:03:37 No. Yeah. Well, that's not on you, Cass. None of you can. I know the farmers. They were the ones that hired us to deal with, well, I guess... One of the farmers figured out... I just went to see Amir
Starting point is 00:03:49 to deal with her, in a matter of ways, and who were we collecting all the items for? Well, Morimash takes it, and he takes it into Greyhill. Morimash figures it out. So I guess it's because you have some questions for Morimash. How many
Starting point is 00:04:06 golems ended up did you know were being made? He shakes his head. He's there like sitting cross-legged by the fire. Yeah. Thinking back, how many like pockmarks in the roof were there? It was pretty heavily pockmarked.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Maybe we should rest for now. I think everybody's a bit wrecked and with their sleep, maybe they'll remember a bit better. Yeah. You know, time to put in other bits of brain. Yes! And it's also good to have time for your brain to do its, like, little sorty thing.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Yeah, comprehend all the stuff that we've just been through. I know it's easier for me if I'm learning something, it's easier tomorrow to talk about the thing I'm learning. So yeah, I guess we set some watches and rest as much as we can. The night is uneventful.
Starting point is 00:04:58 For some reason, there's no wildlife to hassle you. Hmm. Oh, I hate that. Yeah. Alright, well, you wake up the next day, which is always good. Always good. Blessings. Blessings on blessings.
Starting point is 00:05:15 What's your plan? So, we could always go back to Greyhill, figure that out. I think it's a good idea if we talk to Boromash. We've still got that local boy He'll figure that out. I think it's a good idea if we talk to Boromash. Speak to Boromash, yeah. Because... I mean, we've still got that local boy who wants a song.
Starting point is 00:05:31 I don't really feel like singing right now. It does indeed feel like a moot point right now. Yeah. Yeah. If we go back to Boromash and we tell him what's happened, we'll see if we can find the person who programmed the dead statues. Yes. Because.
Starting point is 00:05:50 We still got that scroll, yes? I would assume. Yes. Who's the last person holding it? Zia Mia was the last person holding it. She has it. Because then we can find out who's controlling the iron golems and they'll. Well.
Starting point is 00:06:02 Well, we can fix it so they're not in their control anymore. It was 400 iron golems just got up and left. I don't imagine that they were quiet about it. No. Well, hopefully someone else kills them. You're right. But I think if we can find out who the controller is. No, I mean, it'll be heading towards whoever that might be.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Is what I mean. So, follow them? God, no. Yeah, God's no. I think that's a good idea. That's a faster way than going to Moromash. What the fuck are you?
Starting point is 00:06:41 So you want to spy on whoever summoned 400 iron golems? Yeah, we kill them. All of them die, I assume. I can't read. I don't know what the scroll says. Wyatt, what do you want to do? Honestly, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Going up against someone who can control 400 iron golems sounds like suicide, to be honest. And doing any more of these quests we've gotten seems foolish. If we're to travel, was it due north to some goblin-infested castle to clear it out for whom and for what reason? I didn't really stop to think about why we're doing these things. They all seem like good things.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Well, yeah. I can't think of anything that we did that was bad. The locust one was nearly bad, but that was misunderstood, and then it did end up turning a bit bad. I guess we'll confer with Tavitine as well as the rest of the group about all the sort of quests that we've sort of done for Greyhill, if there's any sort of anything that just strikes us as odd. Because there was a bit of a boon in terms of things being dealt out.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Yeah, Greyhill Free Company used to be a tiny little outfit. None of you, or like the old old timers are maybe the only people who have spent more than five years like there's a massive gap where the old timers maybe spent like 20 30 years possibly longer depending on race and such at the company whereas some of you newcomers have spent maybe no more than like two three three, sometimes five years. And then there's not a lot of people who have spent time in between. Greyhill used to be just like a lot of consistent old timers who had been here basically part of the woodwork for as long as time, since before time began.
Starting point is 00:08:38 And then there was, in the last few years, there's been this massive explosion in adventurer activity in Greyhill and surrounding the capital and whatnot. The rest of Kandor has definitely not seen this much boom activity for adventurers. Even Bull Ridge, a city far to the east in what was once Goldcrest. Bull Ridge used to be kind of like known as an adventuring capital or the adventurer capital. In recent times, the capital here and Greyhill have far surpassed that with mercenary bands
Starting point is 00:09:14 springing, adventurer bands springing up all over the damn place. Yeah. These adventure, this is these like adventuring contracts typically are organized at the capital and then disseminated through either local channels or possibly sometimes there's like at Greyhill itself. There is like a nexus point there where they can also be distributed from and to. Maybe to have a time. Because again, they've all seen pretty standard, like, you know, deal with some goblins, find out where a bird is, get some magical items, those kind of things.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Have any others involved a basin? The basin seems pretty suspicious. Yeah. And then I also asked Tavitine, like, where did you get this particular mission from? Where did you get this particular mission from? Was it a part when, you know, is it a similar kind of thing when we all went to camp and there was like basically like a bunch of things to kind of rifle through? All quests come through Mora Marsh.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Well, you've conferred with Tabertine, I suppose. And a lot of you feel like, well, a lot of quests are like, go fetch this item or go maybe like stop this infestation of something go like figure something out delve into these ruins that sort of stuff it's a lot of it is either exploratory clearing or collecting there's any quest seems to be one of those three and it's all very actually as you have the conversation with Tabertine and Saren, who is quite new, but has been in a bunch of other different groups at Greyhill, you slowly...
Starting point is 00:10:51 One of you is like, oh, we did... Saren is like, oh, I did a quest where we found a bunch of goblins terrorizing their way through the north. And you're like, oh, we killed those goblins yes we know about what we didn't but something definitely killed and then paratine talks about finding the
Starting point is 00:11:11 sword sage amulet or the location of a magical item doing some exploration stuff and you're like oh we went and collected the sword sage amulet it feels like a lot of the quests are like explore a place did you find something okay someone goes there collects the item explore a place oh did you find some law ah someone goes collects that law explore a place oh is there an issue someone goes over and cleans up that issue so it seems that no one is getting i guess the whole story story. It's being split up except for, I guess, Moromarsh. Maybe we do need to go back to Moromarsh. Well, one of two possibilities, I guess.
Starting point is 00:11:57 One is that Moromarsh is exactly in the dark like we are, or the alternative. Can't let that linger. No one says anything for a while. Zia Mia leans in and she has like a little notebook. She's written on the notebook, more a Marsh? Right, sorry, Zia Mia.
Starting point is 00:12:23 So we're from the Greyhill Free Company. She nods. She's heard that part already, yeah. That's the adventures that we are. And so when Lux or Nix said it was the Greyhill Free Company, it was – when you find out that maybe your party has been compromised or your family, in a sense, has been compromised. Sort of sent a bit of a shockwave through us all.
Starting point is 00:12:52 And that really was just a misunderstanding, which I think got at least two of our... Let's try and gaslight myself. Two of our good friends killed. So, Tav Tyne's eyebrow raises but he says nothing. So maybe this is just another
Starting point is 00:13:12 misunderstanding. And Mora Marsh is I guess our leader who gives the missions out. She nods very sagely. So
Starting point is 00:13:27 either willful ignorance or they just... Or very evil. Very evil and greedy. She writes down another message on the piece of paper and shows it to you. The message says, I will lead you out of this place back to the farms but I go no further. Oh, that's
Starting point is 00:13:44 fair. this guy sounds scary probably yes yes yes yes um do do we do we need to collect our our old camp or are we just heading home if we'd come across i talked camp... I talked that to the group. Yeah, everyone's like, yes, I think we should collect our own things. I think we should. Imagine if we came across the camp. We'd take it.
Starting point is 00:14:15 Yeah, I mean... We should try. We should definitely try. I get it. If it's gone. It's... Sorry. Okay. Very's, um, sorry. Very distractedly, I just kind of gesture like, let's go get our things, things, yes. Once again, on your way back to the camp, nothing attacks you.
Starting point is 00:14:36 There's nothing left alive to bother you here. That's worrisome. You probably encounter dead corpses, like a lot of them. It's something heavy either picked them up or crushed them or just stepped on them. Depending where we were going, because I might have pointed to Yaelda's horns. Revenge, Yaelda says.
Starting point is 00:15:01 Do we want to deal with that before we get our things? Is it on the way? Because it's a bit of a dogleg, yeah? It'd be closer to get to that old River Witch. No, it'd probably be longer. It'd be a detour going to the River Witch, but you could. Oh, it's important. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:15:23 The amount of time the entire trip would take the river which is not that big a deal and now a quick word from our sponsors the amount of tears i have shed over not being able to access nathan for you on the comedy central website because it's not available to people in my region are about to be all dried up by the gentle hands of nord vpn geo restrictions are now sh are now shmear-shmear-shmictions for me, because with NordVPN, I can change my remote location with one click. For the cost of one cup of coffee a month, which is way less than a standard streaming service, you can now access free but geo-restricted content and premium cybersecurity.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Plus, there's a 30-day money-back guarantee, so the only risk is finding out you don't like what they're playing in Canada. Go to nordvpn.com slash isfnerds to get a two-year plan plus one additional month with a huge discount. That's NordVPN.com forward slash isfnerds. Yeah, yeah. Kind of explain who that River Witch was to Zia Mia. Zia Mia nods slowly.
Starting point is 00:16:17 She seems to know who you're talking about. It's okay if we get rid of her, yeah? Not an issue? She shrugs. Sure. Okay. Do you know anything about her? I know they're just controlling dogs or wolves. She writes down on a piece of her, yeah? Not an issue? She shrugs. Sure. Okay. Do you know anything about her? I know they're just controlling dogs
Starting point is 00:16:27 or wolves. She writes down on a piece of paper trained wolves, a hag. Yeah. Hag? Not a river witch. She's a hag. Yeah, do we know about hags? What's a hag? Never fought a hag before.
Starting point is 00:16:44 No idea. Never met one. You don't know. She continues to write on the piece of paper. She shows you. Desperate people will sometimes go to her for spells or magics. She makes awful deals. Ew. And with a...
Starting point is 00:17:02 A new note is made down. She shows you. She can bring the dead back to life, but it's not good. Oh. Like a necromancer or worse? She kind of shrugs. Worse, she writes on the piece of paper. Well, I see no issue with stopping her then.
Starting point is 00:17:19 We've put a lot of bad, I think, currently in the world. Maybe we try and take a little bit out she nods slowly oh that's the dragon address to the group because i think i'm trying to build up some morale looking for a little fucking payback both of them nod they seem very keen to go kill a hag yeah yeah i think it's kind of a thing where thing where we've had a lot of, even though we sort of came off winning in a sense of destroying this thing, I think it's all like, you know, Morel, I don't know if it's
Starting point is 00:17:53 worse than when we were separated and Chantal got her leg removed, but I think it's close. It's a different kind of lowered morale. I think it'll be exciting. Let's go kill a hag and some wolves.
Starting point is 00:18:13 I think yes. I think we need a win. I don't mention that, but I'm feeling it. I excitedly start strutting in an attempt to reel in the revenge excitement. Well, you head towards the witch. Let's try and see what spells do I know.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Maybe some bitter ones for fighting a hag. Any kind of information that Zia Mira might have about hags would be nice. Zia Mira shakes her head. She doesn't know much. She quite clearly doesn't fuck with the hag much. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Look, that's fine. She probably gives you a brain worm to the effect.
Starting point is 00:18:59 She quite clearly steers clear of the hag. Look, Zia. As you're approaching, you you would be coming from a completely different angle rather than coming from the water angle you're coming from kind of like behind the hut but you do spot it in the distance you see it from the other side from like the back side you would be coming to it basically as night is falling you can see in addition to the lights in the building there are a couple of lights around the little hut these lights you do not remember you don't you you do not remember these lights being here and those lights are new they look like torches lit in the distance you
Starting point is 00:19:37 are still a ways away far enough away that you wouldn't be able to make out the skulls on the fence so there's two torches in the... They're near the hut, but not in the property. Okay. So maybe she has some visitors. Potentially. Well, I think we should approach sneakily. Yes.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Yes, I could... Look, I could scout ahead, transform into something. Something that a wolf wouldn't eat, remember. Something that a wolf wouldn't eat, yes, and something that maybe is a bit more stealthy. Crab? Potentially. Crabs look like rocks.
Starting point is 00:20:19 I was thinking some kind of like a panther or some kind of like cat, but I don't know much. A wolf would eat that. much yes but if i'm quiet oh okay so are you transforming into a cat i was gonna say what what sort of like stealthy animals can i turn into um if you go black like a black panther surely the night will put you on its side you know i don't know if a panther is an i't know if a panther is an option for you. Like house cat? House cat I'd allow. Oh, I can transform into a panther.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Oh, well, there you go. Well, yeah, panther I suppose is an option. He's very slinky. Oh, it's a climb. Okay, cool. Oh, it's a climb speed? No, it's flying speed. You're not allowed.
Starting point is 00:21:00 Okay, well, I'll, yes yes uh transform into i think it's probably the stealthiest thing i've got all right who's going are all of you stealthing your way forwards because you're not all good at it oh yeah i figured i'd go ahead like um stay maybe you know a bit away like um how far away can we kind of like and i guess without alerting well that's impossible to know you have no idea how what the hag's perception is like nor the wolves perception she could even have like spells to aid her with that yeah true true true true um so how far are we currently away? You are, I would say, maybe 500 feet away. Okay. Well, I can run at 100 feet as a panther.
Starting point is 00:21:54 So if we ever stay at that 400 feet mark, I can go ahead stealthily, have a sneaky check, and then come back. Well, you slink your way forwards. It's very sparse. There's like nothing around there. No, it's barren. You make your way up to the house itself. You're on the other side.
Starting point is 00:22:17 The torches have kind of bobbed to the front door, and now you can no longer see them. You're at the back of the house now. There's a couple of windows. you could approach one of the windows but that would obviously be very that would probably be the uh uh easiest way to spot you yeah i'll try and slink around to the like maybe like the front again um try oh um i've got i've got a sense of smell now yeah yeah? Yeah. Like, can I sniff something out? Sure. Sniffing for a stank?
Starting point is 00:22:52 You sniff at the air and you can, it's a mix of smells. Actually, it's probably very difficult to identify much from the smells. You can definitely smell the wolves. You can probably smell the hag. Beyond that, there's just a myriad. The hut must be filled with a lot of very aromatic things, and that's kind of like covering up anything else that could be here. Okay. The hag and the wolves are present, but that's all you can tell.
Starting point is 00:23:18 All right. Can I just like, yeah, I'll keep staking it out a little bit so I can, again, trying very hard not to be seen. Are you going to go towards the front? If I go around the side as a bit of an angle, like kind of give it a wide berth. Okay. You slink around the side and you see the two wolves sleeping in their normal positions.
Starting point is 00:23:36 The hut door is closed. You can hear conversation happening inside, but you can't tell what's being said. So someone must be here, but you don't know who or for what purpose or anything else. Okay. Is there anything I can climb or jump on? The house. Beyond that, the fence probably
Starting point is 00:23:58 doesn't look sturdy enough to carry your weight. Okay. I'll try and go towards the back, away from the back yeah the wolf so i can get a bit closer to hear that conversation you get as close as you dare getting but as you approach you hear shh i hear something oh i get very low to the ground and try and slink away a knobbly face comes to the window try and hide stealthy hide you stay low and you put yourself maybe in the there's like the moon is out it's not particularly bright but the moon obviously does cast some light and you try to put
Starting point is 00:24:41 yourself in the shadow of that light so you are black upon black upon black the old crone or hag peers out through the window there's no glass to the windows it's just like a hole in the hut she peers out through it and glances around she slowly tracks herself back in and you hear her say perhaps it was nothing one moment okay um i start heading back you start heading back towards the group like yeah like okay now i want to know what the one moment what she's going to do if she's like well if i can hear out if she like exits the the yeah sure enough if you're dawdling before you start moving back you hear the front door open and you hear... No, you don't hear what she says.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Would you like to leave? Yes, I'm guessing she's waking up the dogs. Sure enough, yep, as you leave, the two wolves, you can hear them slinking round behind the house, obviously searching for you. Huh. behind the house, obviously searching for you. Huh.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Okay. Maybe I'll try to lure them a little bit. You kind of don't need to do that. They appear to have picked up your scent. They scent fantastic. Oh, you smell like a cat. All right. As they, um, oh, well, yeah, I run towards them. You have a higher movement speed, so you can quite easily outpace them.
Starting point is 00:26:03 They are sprinting behind you. Cool. I want to, yeah, run towards the group, but make sure that they keep following me. Right. Big T, would the group be kind of ready for what's about to happen? Absolutely not. Give me a number between 1 and 30. Thank you for being honest.
Starting point is 00:26:22 Three. Seriously, ready for anything. Choose where you go in initiative. Speaking of, the entire party is shocked when the panther re-emerges from the darkness. Well, you said you were going to be a sneaky cat. We're like, oh, sick. Who's going to notice a cat? Look, look.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Fair enough, fair enough, fair enough. I said, won't the dogs notice? And you're like, nah. Who would Who's going to notice a cat? Look, look. Fair enough, fair enough, fair enough. I said, won't the dogs notice? And you're like, nah. Who would each of you like to act with? Serene. I'm going to go with Chantal again. I like the simplicity of a water. Hey, if the dogs have water in a dog bowl, could you drown them?
Starting point is 00:27:04 What? With shape water? No, it's probably not enough water, to be honest. I mean, maybe. I don't think you can move water around like that as well. I don't think the spell lets you. Yeah. Unfortunately, you can't also, like, you know, move the water in your own body.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Because that would just be like, ah, cool. Well, I guess your blood's at your feet now. So we're just going to have to hold these dogs down to drown them, is what I'm hearing. Why do you want to drown the dog? Well, initially I was thinking, how do we kill them without them waking up? And it's like, well, if you bring the water to their face
Starting point is 00:27:34 and they drown in their sleep, they're probably going to wake up. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were talking about drowning these dogs who are currently chasing you. Oh, yeah. Well, that was option B. How much control over shape? How shapely is the water? I thought you were talking about drowning these dogs who are currently chasing you. Oh, yeah, that was option. That was plan B. How much control over shape.
Starting point is 00:27:48 How shapely is the water? Can you drown them on the go? I guess not. And that's good to know. Yeah, unfortunately, no. Big T and Saren, it's your turn first. You see two shapes looming at you out of the darkness, two massive shapes. They look like humanoids running on all fours. I know they'd be the wolves though yeah yeah i mean well actually no they don't look like wolves they
Starting point is 00:28:11 look like humanoids big humanoids running on all fours you actually don't know what the fuck this is they do not look like wolves wait really yeah. Well, Sirin's going to use shatter on them. All right. Assuming they're hostile. To be fair, your friend is running from them, clearly. Yeah. Well, if we can see you running from and you're being chased, then definitely. One fails, one saves.
Starting point is 00:28:42 That's 3d8 damage. Has a hag bewitched some folks just to act like wolves? Did they look like wolves when you checked them out just now? Did they look like wolves to Globble? Well, Globble saw them as wolves and then started sprinting away. And then the darkness has just been making sure that they're behind him. But hasn't been... Well, your passive perception wasn't enough to notice what happened that's fine uh and uh yeah so sarin uh sarin pulls out a triangle and a little uh little metal rod taps it and then the sound of ringing metal on metal nearly splits everyone's
Starting point is 00:29:30 ears then um that was oh big t what would you like to do sorry i would like to prepare my attack with a halberd because they're not close enough yet but have a feeling oh no sorry javelin javelin you can throw a javelin now i'm gonna throw my javelin now your javelin soars uh soars through the air and strikes one of them nicely done it doesn't seem to slow down oh no you hit you feel you see sorry you see it hit but it doesn't do any damage. The creature just keeps moving. It's their turn. Two creatures loom out of the darkness. They look like wolf men.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Like men who are wolves or werewolves. Well, Big T is the only player who has spotted them so far, and Big T does not know what the fuck these things are. Oh no. She's made something bad. One of them runs towards Big T, the other one runs towards Saren. It
Starting point is 00:30:35 launches onto you, Big T, and bites down. That's a critical hit. And bites down. No! Remember you've got that thing? You know what? I'm going to use that thing. All right. Normal damage and you are grazing hit.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Normal damage and stunned for one round. You are incapacitated as the condition. Basically, it's miss a turn. Look, fair enough. This is pretty shocking to me. I thought I'd seen every kind of guy. You're going to take four points of damage. Would you like to reduce that? Oh, if it's only four, no. You also need'd seen every kind of guy. You're gonna take four points of damage. Would you like to reduce that?
Starting point is 00:31:06 Oh, if it's only four, nah. You also need to make a constitution saving throw. And I pass with flying gullies. Yeah, you pass. And then it attacks with its claws, which... Don't hit you. It brings its claws into your back and drags them across your armor,
Starting point is 00:31:27 but your armor, thankfully, saves your life. Then the other one attacks Saren. Bite misses. Claws hit. Is Chantel near Saren? Not near enough, no. Nine points. They were not ready for this fight.
Starting point is 00:31:42 No, they weren't ready. Nine points of damage, and they must make a constitution saving throw. Ooh. We were all sitting around trying to figure out what would be our favorite food if we were a dog. It's Yayola's turn. Yayola. Ah!
Starting point is 00:32:01 Yayola cries out in panic. Yayola casts Spiritual Weapon, which attacks one of one of them hits and deals nine points of damage and then she casts sacred flame on the other one who needs to make a dexterity saving throw they pass no damage all right then global plus chantelle chantelle utters a curse everyone seems really no one beyond just not being ready for wolves global they seem shocked to this is something else you stop turn around you know exactly what these are these are jackalopes like what the hell wait jackalope jackalope are they different what's a jackalope A jackalope is a bunny with antlers Not in D&D
Starting point is 00:32:48 A jackalope is a terrifying Wolfman creature I thought a jackalope is a breed of Hair, oh I'm stupid Yeah, you fucked the roll up, dude You're convinced these are jackalopes What do I think I know about jackalopes? Jackalope is They they're fearsome creatures,
Starting point is 00:33:08 described as, some people say a jackrabbit with horns, but you know a wolf man. Yeah, he's a wolf boy. The word jackalope is a portmanteau of jackrabbit, antelope, and wolf. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's jackal. It's very close, and it lopes like a wolf. Yeah, it makes sense, no, no, no. It's jackal. It's very close and it lopes like a wolf. Yeah, it makes sense.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Like a loping jackal. It is obviously like a jackrabbit. They're said to be so dangerous that hunters are advised to wear stovepipes on their legs to keep from being gored. Hey, fuck. Thankfully, I... One of the ways to catch
Starting point is 00:33:43 one is to entice it with whiskey, their beverage of choice. Well, we don't have any whiskey. Watch out, because they can't imitate any human voice. Oh, no. Okay, well, they can speak to us. Okay, that's... No, no, they're just imitating.
Starting point is 00:33:58 That's terrifying. Well, either way... They only breed during lightning flashes, and their... Well, some people say antlers, but teeth are sought after as a fertility object.
Starting point is 00:34:14 They're teeth, you say? It must be why the witch has it. That makes sense. Are they missing any teeth? No, they appear to have all their teeth. They have all their teeth. Probably no one has gone in for a fertility issue with the hag. Either way, I'll get Chantal to... In terms of not being ready, does that mean no armor?
Starting point is 00:34:36 Does that mean no... I would say Chantal has her armor on, but she wasn't ready for the fight. Okay, but she's holding weapons, basically. Sure, yeah. Well, in that case, yes, I'll get her to run up to the one that was fighting, Saren, and
Starting point is 00:34:55 Warhammer, as much as humanly possible, probably the two-handed, I guess they probably don't have their shield ready. Alright, Chantelelle rolls a one of course she does uh as she swings the jackalope slashes at chantelle's eyes chantelle screams and staggers backwards holding at her eyes. She's going to be blinded for... Perfect. Four rounds. Oh, that's great news, Chantel.
Starting point is 00:35:32 Why do you just... Okay, well, then I will try, and if I'm running, can I try and pounce at that particular jackalope? Sure. You rolled a one. Okay. Your attack hits an ally within reach and is a critical threat. You land on Chantel, who stumbles into your attack. Normal damage and 2d6 bleed damage.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Gotta love the S. Cool. Great. Great, great, great, great, great. Deal. Four points of damage to Chantel, and every turn until she is magically healed, she will take another 2d6 damage. Meow. It's got me!
Starting point is 00:36:20 Chantel calls out. Meow. Then that was all that you are doing? That's all I can really do is just fuck up, I guess. Hopefully I won't fuck up next time on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company. This is a message for all the seasoned and aspiring DMs out there. Do you wish to treat your players like the common dogs they are by rewarding them with treats? Well, then do we have the solution for you. Our patented Goodboy cards will make
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