D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company II #5 Quest Gathering
Episode Date: December 11, 2021DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANY OTHER LINKS OR WHATEVER YOU FUCKS. COME SEE US LIVE. GRAB TICKETS HERE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I bet all y'all out there were wanting to start your 2022 right.
Well, too bad, because Plumbing the Death Star is here to ensure that you start your year wrong with a brand new live show at the Comedy Republic.
In 2019, we did an episode called How Would You Curse a Small Village that came out so heinous we couldn't put it on the public feed.
And now, inadvisedly, we're putting it on the public stage by giving
it another go and asking once again,
how would you curse a small village?
February 19th,
5.30pm at the Comedy Republic.
Tickets are $20 and you can grab
them right now from the Comedy Republic
website, link in the show notes below.
Once again, that's February 19th,
5.30pm at the Comedy Republic.
Come see Plumbing the Death Star live and think to yourself,
Yuck.
You're listening to the Sands Pants Network.
Home of comedy,
culture,
adventures,
and ghosts. Previously on Stories from the Greyhill Free Company
You get back to camp. It's kind of a buzz with activity.
And then I just tell Morimash
all the bullshit that has happened.
Morimash's expression
becomes kind of like graver and
darker the more you continue.
Do we want to hold on to the
armor?
I simply can't
abide that. I'm sorry, but
company policy, you have the armor.
We must hand it in, I'm afraid. And a lot of the
old-timers are sitting around that bonfire
exchanging war stories.
Ah, beautiful. You see, Love is Blind is part
of that group. A half-elf
by the name of
Saren. I think this was my last
venture out. I did not want
to say anything until it was
over. It is the biggest
rubber band ball you have
ever seen in your entire
life.
Oh my god.
The blue gem in its very
center has like a little light, and you
see that the gem actually glows
a little bit. Yeah, there, sweetie, thank you very much.
When do you leave?
My bags are packed.
We'll look through those I guess new missions that have popped up over the time.
You find a notice that there is a nearby or a not nearby, actually.
This would take this quest would take you maybe at least a couple of weeks to get there and back, let alone however difficult the job itself is.
But there is a disused castle that apparently a band of goblins
are now using to harass local townsfolk.
Once again, that one is quite far away,
but that would be worth, to deal with the goblins,
that would be worth 500 gold.
Yeah, it is.
Hmm. That's weird. No goblins are easy to deal with 500 gold. Yeah, it is. Hmm.
Goblins are easy to deal with, I would say.
They're not very big. I don't know if I could
kick them very far. Yeah.
Because if I could, they're very quick.
A local
boy near
in one of the farmsteads on the
outskirts of Greyhill, a local
farm boy is asking for
a skilled bard or artisan
to help him write a song.
He is willing to pay 10 gold.
All right, 10 gold for writing a song.
Okay.
Oh, do you think he'll mind if we show up and we're just us?
I mean, I can't hold a tune.
Can you play anything?
I can play hopscotch.
That's pretty good.
I don't think – oh, it sounds a bit like a drum. Can you play anything? I can play hopscotch. That's pretty good. I don't think...
Oh, it sounds a bit like a drum.
What's the next one?
A way shrine, not a way shrine, a tavern.
A way tavern on like a through road going deeper into Kandor
has been having issues with a ghost apparently haunting patrons
and scaring off customers.
The tavern owner is willing to pay 150 gold for dealing with that.
Right.
Look, I don't really believe in ghosts.
That should be pretty easy to do.
A spooky hotel.
A alchemist is asking for a bunch of rare and or exotic flowers.
Oh, yes.
Okay.
That pays per flower and depending.
Well, the flowers are difficult to acquire.
Is there any kind of flowers that are after exactly?
Or do we know where they might be?
Yeah, there's like a list.
Some of them, you look at the list.
Well, you're a druid.
You glance over the list.
You know some of them.
Some of them are just like rare and difficult to find flowers.
Some of them you've never heard of before in your life.
That is.
A swarm of locusts is eating crops.
Once again, in the area surrounding Gray Hill,
the swarm of locusts is believed to be the work of a witch or a,
some sort of malcontent mage.
A bunch of farmers have come together and are asking for assistance.
They're willing to pay 400 gold.
Yeah.
Witches are scary, but again, they're not very tall.
Yes, well, okay.
As we're eating, was that you?
It's kind of just like you're skimming through the...
Skimming through the moor.
I like the sound of the haunted tavern.
Yes, well, we could probably, honestly,
we could probably do quite a bunch of these.
The flowers, well, as we're travelling,
we could probably see what's going on.
This swarm of locusts seems that we probably
should really do something there.
You know, just dealing with that.
Yes.
And being sensitive.
Seems to be.
We need to be feeding the common folk.
The tavern does sound interesting.
That might be it right now.
Yes.
And yes, I've been going to the tavern and finding this ghost or whatever might be doing the haunting.
If we help the tavern, maybe they'll just have a beer at the tavern.
Yes, maybe they will.
Plus, you know, there's that local boy just needs a song written.
Look, that Caskell one seems pretty far away.
Is it possible to do the majority of these things,
head up to where the castle is, then come back?
You could try, yeah.
I mean, look, we could aim for that if we wanted to and see where we go.
Is the boy close?
Well, so you could swing through the Greyhill outskirts, head towards the castle, and then come back.
So you could do the castle, you could do the boy,
you could do the locusts.
The tavern is the only one that's kind of out of your way.
What about the flowers?
The flowers, you don't know.
You would have to, like, well, yeah,
you don't know about the flowers.
You could go into Greyhill itself to find the alchemist to ask them,
or alternatively, well, actually, all options lead to Greyhill itself to find the alchemist to ask them, or alternatively, well, actually
all options lead to Greyhill
itself, because you
could ask the alchemist if they know where to find the
flowers, or you could go into Greyhill
and find someone who knows where
to find the flowers.
Or someone in your party knows.
Yeah, right. You could do
the majority of the others just going into the
outskirts and flicking up to the castle and coming back.
Yes, I don't see why that's needed.
Could I probably do that?
Let's help a boy write a song and save a castle.
Yes, why not?
Well, I think we're probably down definitely one member of our party.
I guess you can always ask Chantel and Yola if they're still up for adventure
or if they're wanting to retire for a bit.
Let's see what they're up to.
Oh, Chantal and Yola probably
showed up while you were reviewing these.
You're ready for round two?
They're both not.
Oh, we made a new friend,
Saren. Saren isn't here
currently, but you could go fetch
them. That'd be a little strange.
Said the one to come.
Well, you haven't told them, though.
Yes, no.
No, I wanted to.
Okay, so while Globble is going over all of the different quests,
Big T, you go tell Saren that you've got a space.
Saren has like a little swag, basically,
like a teeny tiny tent for just one.
Oh, it's good.
That she is sitting out the front of.
It's got like, it's red with golden trimming on it.
When you approach, you kind of like,
you know how you can have a conversation through just looks?
Oh, yes.
You basically have the conversation through looks as you're walking up.
Saren is like standing and grabbing her backpack before you can say anything.
If it were a conversation of looks, but we had to only convey it in sounds.
Can we try doing that?
Sure.
Okay.
Okay.
Who's going to say the first?
Oh, hang on.
Okay.
Oh.
Meh-meh.
Ooh.
Meh!
Ah!
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Meh-meh-meh!
Good.
Saren grabs her backpack, and it's kind of like half belt, half backpack,
and it weaves into her clothes.
She weaves it into her clothes bum bag she's got a
bum bag on it's a bit like a bum bag yeah uh it like naturally has straps that go in and out of
her her billowy robe she puts it on and then follows you to the quests
you're going to take the boy who needs a song you're going to take the boy who needs a song.
You're going to take the locust problem.
The alchemist?
Look, we'll ask anyone in the party.
Sharon now.
Do you know any of these particular flowers by any chance?
She shakes her head.
I'm a sardy.
Look, probably not for us, then.
All right.
So little boy who needs a song
The locust problem and then the castle
Yeah?
Yes, no ghost hunting?
Or is that a bit too far?
Ghost hunting's a bit out of your way
You could do that
But it's a big trip to include that
Yeah, look
Let's just do the local boy first
The swarm of locusts
And then swing up to the castle
If there's still an issue when we get back,
then we really should do them
if no one's helped them yet.
But, you know, we can do them later.
Or they get help sooner.
Nothing bad happens.
Exactly.
Ghosts, you know, they take their time, you know.
Having made the decision, you set off.
You're heading westwards.
The first time you've head west westwards you previously have
been exploring like a lot to the north and west well out west there's a lot less forest simply
because you're heading towards gray hill itself and as things become more and more settled there
are obviously like fewer and fewer large natural areas. There's lots of grassland, a lot of farms,
but apart from that, not much else.
It's a very uninteresting countryside as you stroll past.
But safe.
In this area, you do not need to roll encounters.
That's good.
Until you kind of exit the safe area of Greyhill and its surroundings,
you should not need to worry about an encounter.
But yeah,
that isn't to say that necessarily nothing of interest will happen.
Something interesting is going to occur.
You always make such interesting adventures for us.
Well,
it's just important to know that you probably would still be, you know,
setting up camp and stuff like that.
Actually, as well, seeing as how Morimash was heading towards Grey Hill,
if you wanted to, you could travel with Morimash.
Yeah, probably, to be honest.
Oh, yeah, that seems polite.
Morimash rides on a horse, but he makes sure that he goes slow enough
that you all can keep up with him.
Oh, that's nice.
Do you think the horse is bored? Do you say
that to him? No.
No, that's not polite. I think that to myself.
I try and... Can I
vibe-check the horse? Well,
you could vibe-check the horse, but I might
speak to animals the horse.
Yeah, but I haven't said this out loud. That would be
so rude. Yeah, but I'll be having a chat.
We're there for, I guess, several days, yeah?
Oh, true.
Okay.
At some point, I'll have been chatting.
Maybe only a day, to be honest.
You're not that far from Grey Hill itself.
It would be a sleep, but that's it.
Either way, I'm sure at some point I would have struck up conversation with the hooves.
All right.
Well, Tree Stump's vibe check goes off first.
Tree Stump, would you like to pick a number between 1 and 31 30 30 yes
are you ready to take a note yes wait that's not how it happened re-roll anything yeah
thank you but more importantly how will how good's the horse is the horse okay because i it sounds like i did
a perfect vibe check on the horse the horse seems happy to be out and about that's kind of depressing
i'm happy to be out and about let's not worry for a horse a horse's needs are simpler than your even
yours tristan the horse is simply happy that it has a full belly and
is getting to move around and stretch its legs there are no predators nearby it doesn't mind
that there's a person on it and in fact it's positively it's positively encouraged by the
whole situation that's good i'm glad it's all right.
And Glopple, you cast Speak With Animals.
Yes.
Yes, how are you going?
My name's Glopple.
I am Horse.
Oh, yeah, nice to meet you, Horse.
Having a good time?
Yes.
Yes, yes, that's very good.
You know, I get to try and know the horse.
It'd be like, well, what do you like?
Well, you've only got like, what is it, four minutes.
So what are you saying to get to know the horse?
You don't have time for a big conversation.
What are your dreams, horse?
Welcome to the best hinge date of your life.
Yeah.
Well, it's like 10 minutes, basically.
So just to kind of like, yeah, do a good vibe check,
see how the horse is going. See if it wants anything.
Is the barrow mouse treating him all right?
Realizing I probably should be a better druid in my life
and just check in on animals and nature.
Check in on this horse right now, here specifically.
Feels a bit like a middle manager coming around
to all the frontline workers just briefly being like
hey just check in and I just want you to
I just want for today only
no for this week until
I have a bad day and forget
that I'm doing this I want you
to feel like I care
well you know it's like you gotta realise
in the last maybe like less than a week
Gloppel has become a spider realised
oh no he's fucked up gone to a better druid than he will ever potentially be um realized like i i couldn't
even really identify where the grove was it took me a bit um that's not good um then there was a
quest which was like hey find some flowers and it's like oh yes well yes i'm a druid i'm attuned
to nature i understand where flowers are fuck it's basically, oh yes, well yes, I'm a druid, I'm attuned to nature, I understand what flowers are.
Fuck,
it's basically part of my,
I don't know what the fuck that is.
Sun,
flower,
what is that?
So yeah,
I think maybe at this point,
probably feeling a little bit self-conscious
about the whole druidism thing
and being like,
recently I used my druid powers
to burn the corpses
of two giants.
That's nature, baby.
That's nature.
That's the cycle of life.
Turn it back.
Send it back to the earth, baby.
The giants eat the buffalo.
Yes.
The giants get burnt by adventurers.
The giants' ash becomes grass.
The buffalo eat the grass.
That's the circle of life baby circle of
life mostly all i do is cause things to go on fire as the philosopher elton john once said
that's the circle of life and it rules us all so yes i think maybe gluple might be feeling a little
bit self-conscious uh and also the fact that, yes, what's kind of a really big identity shift from, yes, being like who he is as a person to then being a spider for way too long.
And then a man, just a regular human with weird floppy limbs.
The horse seems to be doing fine.
It's happy enough.
It definitely does not seem to understand what you meant by name.
Like, it seems to think now, it's like, ah, yes, humans, they are called glopples.
That is, I was wrong.
I thought they were called humans.
They're called glopples.
No, no, no, glopples.
Yes, that's correct.
And, yeah, the horse, like tree stump stump before you you figure out that the horse seems
pretty chuffed to be where it is right now are you having a good time that's very nice you
have a favorite food uh hay hay all right i don't have any hay but i might have this good here
goodberry would you like a goodberry yes i um hold out my palm and feed this horse morimash watches as you feed
his horse he's maybe having a conversation with yayola and you can see him and yayola exchanging
quotation marks and expression why what's wrong with feeding a horse i think you're feeding the
horse medicine and, like,
enough medicine to sustain a person.
Imagine if you had, like, a big steak sanger in your bag
and you're like, oh, for the dog.
Yeah, half for the dog, half for me.
That's being lovely to the dog.
The horse eats the good, Barry.
That's good.
Yeah, this is very good.
Hey, you have a good day.
We'll be here.
Thank you.
No worries.
Keep enjoying your good times.
Yes, maybe then go and have a chat to Morimash and Yola.
I'm judging my fucking ways, piece of shit.
You pull back a little bit.
Morimash looks over.
He and Yola exchange like a bit of an expression.
Morimash turns over and says, how's the horse going?
Is he all right?
Oh, yeah, horse is going.
He's having a wonderful time.
I'm glad to hear that.
Yes. It's good. It's, the horse is having a wonderful time. I'm glad to hear that, yes.
It's good, it's good. You're having a good day.
Yeah, I'm having an all right day, I guess.
I'm glad, I'm glad to hear that.
That sounds genuine, that wasn't mocking you.
It's just a bit weird, like, you know,
I'm not used to having these such thick thighs.
Truly, they are thighs for the ages.
Yes, yes, yes. I'm not used to this, like, a rubbing effect between them. Truly they are thighs for the ages. Yes.
I'm not used to this, like, a rubbing effect between them.
It's strange.
There's nothing moist there to kind of help them slip along.
It's irritating.
You should get a pair of riding trousers like me, he says,
and he slaps his trousers.
Perhaps I should, yes. I definitely need to.
I'm not sure if I picked up.
I presume I picked up i presume
presumably i picked up some kind of clothing yeah what are you wearing you're wearing clothes
well yeah but none of them were my own some sort of sack you did you not have clothes i had clothes
for a fish boy yeah then look hey yes you are bigger now but a lot of those clothes were probably like not that you wouldn't have had zippers or tight buttoning.
I guess.
Some of those clothes might still fit you.
So now you're a slutty fish boy.
Yeah, I'm slutty fish boy with pre-moistened clothes.
You would still certainly be wearing your, you could still be certainly wearing your own clothes.
Okay.
Actually, no way.
No, I wouldn't be.
They would have gotten etched by that fucking toad.
You had nothing back at camp? Oh, no, I would have had something. Actually, no way. No, I wouldn't be. They would have gotten etched by that fucking toad. You had nothing back at camp? I know, I would have had something.
Oh, yeah. Everyone keeps
some stuff back at camp. Pre-moistened
clothes from my damp, damp skin that
clearly is ill-fitting.
I hate this. Morimash
looks, looking at you. He's a
half-orc, yeah? Yeah, he's a half-orc.
Okay. Do they go beards?
Yeah. I'm gonna need someone to
teach me morimash shaves though so oh yes well i will be definitely if i ever see that happening
i'll be like how do you do that well before that happens on the first day morimash says well if
you'd like i could um uh i could uh uh size you up for a pair of trousers.
While I'm in Greyhill, I have a tailor there.
That would be absolutely wonderful, yes.
I'm not quite used to all this extra... Well, if you leave some gold with me,
I can have my tailor do something for me.
My tailor.
The tailor I go to.
Get some stuff done for you.
Yeah, of course.
I would absolutely adore that, yes.
Thank you so much. Do you wear... Socks must be a new done for you. Yeah, yeah, of course. I would absolutely adore that. Yes, thank you so much.
Do you wear...
Socks must be a new phenomenon for you as well.
What?
Your boots, they're going to wear upon your feet.
They probably already have.
I'm shocked you haven't mentioned blisters.
Just like look down barefoot.
What?
And now, a word from our sponsors.
Hey, Jackson here, interrupting this garbage podcast And now, a word from our sponsors. know nothing about, inevitably making you frustrated but also entertained. Look for Plumbing the Death Star wherever podcasts are found.
Well, I mean, I suppose you can be barefoot.
There's nothing against it or anything like that.
It's like bleeding, blisters, splinters everywhere.
You mean they, you don't have, huh?
You mean there's another way?
Huh. Oh, I have much to learn.
Just one day like, where do you guys keep your foot blood?
What?
You're quite accustomed to it.
I can get some socks and boots.
You know what?
If you leave, how much do you have?
I don't know, maybe like 15 gold?
Yes.
I can get you a full wardrobe, something nice.
Well, something really nice, actually, I suppose. I suppose five gold would be enough just to get you a full wardrobe, something nice. Oh, that would be great. Well, something really nice, actually, I suppose.
I suppose five gold would be enough just to get you by.
I can get you several sets of clothes and whatnot, some cold weather, some hot weather.
Oh, that would be great.
Look, here's 15 gold.
You do what you need to help me.
With 15 gold, I can get you something nice.
Oh, yes, yes.
I do need to get all kinds of manners of things because, like, honestly, I thought looking over at Chantal and everyone,
I just thought it was like a coating over the top, kind of like, you know,
like a turtle has a shell.
I didn't realize there was things underneath.
That is insane.
You wear armor.
No, no, I meant for the foot.
For the foot.
That is insane.
You wear armor.
But do you know what?
To become a human and to look around and it's like a Tabaxi and a Goliath
and, you know, a dragon person, you'd look around and be like,
different bits.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In the same way that you as a fish boy were bipedal.
Yeah, exactly.
Bipedal and just like giant flippers for feet.
Like, just giant.
Yeah, you keep spooking us now because we can't hear the gentle slap to know you're arriving.
Oh, yes.
Also, no tail.
Fucking weird.
So, yeah, no.
It's very strange.
Yes, it has to be very appreciative of Morimash.
Oh, my God, thank you so much.
Well, you spend one night camping on the road.
Excellent.
And that morning, you see Morimash with a small,
probably not like a proper mirror,
just like polished silver and a straight razor shaving himself in the morning.
Just like staring wide-eyed.
How do you... Morimash.
Well, on the trail, there's not a lot but cold water.
But were you in town or at camp even
one might have access to lathers and stuff he explains the basic principles of of uh making
a lather so that you can shave yourself but without one he shows you how to shave with his
straight razor excellent how well of a job do I currently do?
I can imagine lots of little tiny squares of toilet paper.
You do pretty well.
Covering many cuts.
Well, do I.
Yeah, you probably don't cut yourself at all.
The best news.
That's going to be a surprise when it happens.
Oh, no, Paul says it's security.
Yes, yes, yes.
Globble accidentally slits his throat from ear to ear without Maura Marsh's guidance. Yes, yes, yes. Globble accidentally slits his throat from ear to ear
without Morimash's guidance.
Yes, no.
He doesn't even know he died.
Yes, shaving all that gross hair off my face,
and every time I catch the disgusting pink skin in the mirror,
getting a little bit sad, but going forward.
Once this, he says, and he points to
your head hair, once this gets to any
sort of length, we can figure out what we're doing
with that, unless you want to shave that as well.
No,
he's providing some kind
of warmth. I've noticed it's very cold
with this body.
Sure, it won't provide a lot
of warmth, letting you know, but I suppose it will provide. It's't provide a lot of warmth, you know, but
I suppose it will provide. It's colder than when you were
a fish. Well, I'm assuming
that when you were a fish, you got like a seal
has blubber. Alright. Fair point.
Do fish have warm blood or
cold blood? Well, it's a leucanthin,
so I'm assuming that would probably have some kind
of like, I don't know about
the warm or cold blood, but I definitely
imagine it would be kind of, yeah. It has about the warm or cold blood but i definitely imagine it
would be kind of yeah because it has to get like in water every now and again so i figured it would
kind of want to be warm yeah that's just my thinking behind things anyway i just don't
understand how they stay warm if the wood if the ocean's cold yes like how does their blood stay warm? Blubber. But how does it get warm in the first place?
I know enough to know that I don't know how blubber works.
How does a whale keep its blood warm?
I couldn't tell you.
See, this is what I want to know.
Hmm.
It comes from a little egg, and that's in the cold water and then all of a sudden
it's hot? How does it
get hot? Wait, do whales come from eggs?
No, they give birth to live young.
Oh, no, they're mammals, they're live birth. Okay.
Okay, no.
I just had an idea of a fucking whale roosting
and I didn't know what to do with that information.
Okay, no, well, if
mammals have live birth, okay, you got
warm because you came from a warm place.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I guess it's quite puzzling for me that why do humans have hair?
If not for warmth, I don't understand, but I will keep marching forward.
Oh, for when you go to the tailor, I hand you one of my loyalty cards for the merchant discount.
What?
You know that's not a physical card, right?
Why can't it be?
Yeah.
Okay, then.
Okay, then.
When you go to the – that won't work.
I'm not going to the tailor.
Never mind.
Never mind.
When you go to the tailor, say my name.
I sent you there, and he'll give you a big discount.
When did you go to the tailor?
When you get to the tailor, tell them, you know
tree stump, and they won't judge
you very much. They won't judge
you very much at all.
It's good. I use it every time.
I do like you going
like tree stump going to like a
human tailor to be like,
well, we're going to need...
You know those pants you have, can you make them wide and then they're short for me?
We can definitely do our best.
My name's Tree Stump.
It's like their favorite client.
They get to use all their excess sailing-
Ah, yes.
Sales.
You know how tailors have excess sailing sales?
Yeah.
You go into a tailor shop, they're like, man, I wish we could do something with these sailing sales, but no one's big enough.
And I'm not going to cut fabric.
Because you know how tailors, a personal goal for all tailors is to be like, we need to dress the biggest boy.
And so they get someone who's six foot, and then they're like, oh, that's pretty decent.
It's pretty big.
But then the Goliath comes in, and they're like, look at this unit.
And they're pretty happy.
They get excited, like, if you're a car person and you see a big car.
Yeah.
They're like, oh!
Oh!
Imagine how she runs.
We have a big lady.
She's going to be dressed so well in my clothes.
So, yes, we have that conversation. there he is. We have that conversation.
Sorry, Adam.
No, that happened.
This is a flashback to Tree Thumb's first time in Greyhill.
On the second day, about just after lunch,
Morimash gestures to the path that he needs to now cut down.
He bids you all good day,
and then he heads off to Greyhill on his own.
See you soon.
Bye-bye.
Say tree stump.
The rest of you move onwards.
After a little while, you come to...
So the locust horde one is kind of like a nebulous issue,
a little harder to pin down exactly where you need to be. You know of like a nebulous issue a little like harder to pin down exactly where
you need to be you know like a general area where you can start searching and you know like
in that area you could kind of talk to any farmer and i suppose you are in that area now so you
could head to any farms that you wanted to and speak to someone or you could make a beeline directly for happenstance farm which is
where the boy is who needs help with a song right well um i think we should probably head not so
much like a beeline to there but a direct route there but while we are if it's not veering off
too much asking some of the locals about their locust problem and maybe asking some of the cows
actually about the locust problem is it a asking some of the cows, actually, about their locust problem.
Is it a cow country or is it a sheep country?
What about both?
Might be neither, to be honest.
Yeah.
A lot of the Greyhills...
No, not animal, period.
A lot of the surrounding
area of Greyhill is wheat.
Yeah.
How's the lows?
Yeah, let's go with lows.
Lows?
Yes.
Oh, are you sure?
Yes.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, yeah, you don't think there is an animal farm in Greyhill, period.
Yeah.
For the most part, just many, many, many, many, many fields of wheat.
There are some other crops.
For the most part, just many, many, many, many, many fields of wheat.
There are some other crops.
You can get some exotic crops like potato or tomato.
But for the most part, it's wheat. The devil's apple.
Yeah, the devil's apple.
But no, no apples around here.
Not since the Appleville Mafia came to town,
making sure they're the only ones supplying the Apple game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, there does not seem to be any,
even any sign of farmsteads.
Like, you can't even find a farmstead where you're like,
oh, they have a horse to till the field.
Yeah, right.
No, like, do they have any chickens?
Yeah.
Is it suspicious how few animals are here?
Yeah, it is actually almost suspicious i'm worried maybe that's like as we as we are
talking to like some of the farmers be like and you look also i've noticed there's no kind of
beast of burden well if you ask specifically any far the first person you tell spits on the ground
kind of half in disgust and says i the the locusts when they come through they'll eat
everything in their path and sure enough you gesture it's like it is shocking the amount of
wheat that has been clearly destroyed by locust pests like the what should be just fields upon
fields of wheat actually kind of now that you're in among it and seeing it up close you see that it is mostly very mostly unusable piles of
nothing just like stripped bare of almost anything uh stalks yeah the locusts when they come through
they'll strip the the the the corn right off the stalk and, and this is the most filthy, disgusting part,
any animal that happens to be outside the homestead,
they'll swarm it, choke it out, and kill it.
Yeah, that's not good at all.
Oh, no.
I found nothing but bones once.
An entire stock of cattle lost.
That's absolutely horrifying.
The animals that were saved, where are they now?
The only animals that are alive were the ones inside the house.
Me, my family, and my dog.
And then, sure enough, a dog.
An old, scruffle-looking dog.
Like a dog that should have the name Scruffles
plods out and sits down.
This dog must be 90.
Oh. I give it a bit of a you know
scratch behind the ear you're doing well i hope right what can you do and tell us about the
locusts what locust secrets is this suspicious farmer hiding find out next time on stories of
the gray hill free company time on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company. Are you thirsty for more Sands Pants? Let us shoot our long hot ropes of content right into your gaping ear holes.
Head to SandsPantsRadio.com to check out all 26 of our public podcasts
and become a member of Sands Pants Plus to check out 20 more bonus shows
and bonus feeds.
That's SandsPantsRadio.com.
Hey there, fellow adventurer.
If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content,
we have just what you need to scratch that itch.
D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word,
where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sandspants Plus members,
the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests,
and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon
D&D adventures go to rest.
Just search for D&D is for nerds on your favorite podcast app of choice and join us on this
epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.