D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia I #18 Fathers and Kings

Episode Date: January 14, 2023

The party learns some very important information on all the things Cribit the Amazing hates as well as something about some dad and a royal, but that’s not important. Hecktor goes through all the ev...idence he has collected with a wild fury while Pip reunites with some unwanted friends.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Ahem. Ahem. You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. Although you see no water for miles around, fool, they've heard this before. Quiet, you dolt. A Wizard Supreme has many things to tell about this nightmare Barovia. Ha ha ha ha ha! Wizard Supreme? In this place, your pointless titles mean nothing! For the only way to escape is to slay Strahd in the manner of a true warrior!
Starting point is 00:00:32 Or die in the attempt! Where are you heading next? Downstairs into the tanning shop itself. And I want to do the exact same thing of, like, really giving it an in-depth check. Really just in an in-depth kind of like focusing in you search through the first floor the tannery and you find hide nor hair of anything interesting right yeah all right boy do you want to go for a walk all right where you had oh well actually you know what at about this time, you get to the markets and there is an area for fishmongers. It's probably, well, you already knew this.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Yeah. I think, Hector, you might not have been able to put two and two together, food shortages and then what's happening in the city of Barovia. But, Pip, it is painfully obvious for you. Barovia was the breadbasket of the rest of this area. And with it destroyed the way it is, there are widespread food shortages. Fish is like the only thing that was unaffected
Starting point is 00:01:32 because Valakai gets fish itself locally. Yeah, yeah. So the fishmonger area is still pretty well populated, but it's the only one that is. Alright, is there like a queue? No, you can I mean like some of the fishmonger
Starting point is 00:01:48 are more busy than others. They'll all be fishing at the same spot. Yeah. Do you mind if I ask you some questions, I say? Hi, Zoloz, first off. What do you want to know? I'll buy some fish so it's not the same route.
Starting point is 00:02:04 You know. Spend like maybe five copper. Yeah, just a bit of that halibut. Halibut, I feel like that's a sea fish. Anyway, you fish up at Lake Zarevich, yes? That is correct, yes. Right. I've heard rumor that there's something in Lake Zareovitz lake zelovitz some kind of creature
Starting point is 00:02:25 i was wondering if you'd heard the same stories many people tell such stories you don't give them much credence he shrugs i would not say i could not say if they are true or not you've never seen anything though i have not seen anything but i fish while there is still light out. Oh, okay. Many fear to fish at night, but not all. Do you know anybody who has seen something? He racks his brains. No, I do not think I know of anyone who has seen something and certainly lived to tell the tale. But people go missing on the water.
Starting point is 00:03:03 Has this been happening your whole life, or is it a more recent thing? My whole life, but I would say that it is, yeah, I would say that, I don't know, maybe I know 20 people who have gone missing on the water, but I've been fishing for nearly two decades, and I would say a full half of them are the last year, perhaps. So something's changed over the last year.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, you say. Yeah, I know what that is probably connected to. Well, thank you very much. Maybe I'll waggle the fish. I'll enjoy this for dinner. It is good fish.
Starting point is 00:03:44 I'm sure it is. I don't know why It is good fish. I'm sure it is. I don't know why that was so hostile. I'm sure it is. Leave me alone. All right. Cool. Okay. The last year, but what could that mean?
Starting point is 00:03:55 Well, all right. I've got enough information to certainly mull over, so I will head back to the blacksmith because that's where I think Hector is. Well, you get back to the blacksmith. I'm going to say it's about 10 at this point and you see as you're approaching you see hector in the tannery throwing things around here on the bottom floor it's like a very yeah he's ultra focused just basically like blinkers on just be there just a very almost like serious look at his face, just like ripping things apart. Kind of like Pip's just walking by and then just like keeps walking, but his head turns. All right, I'll push open the tannery door.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Hector? Thank the gods you're here. I am also here. Ah, Kribbit. Kribbit, nice, yes Is that a dog? Dog! Kribbit steps outside
Starting point is 00:04:51 No! The dog starts growling It can't do it properly but it tries to growl On the leash, it's very hard leash Peep, this is dog, dog, this is peep Kribbit closes the door and just looks through the window Maybe does that thing where you put your hands On the leash. It's a very hard leash. All right. Peep, this is dog. Dog, this is peep. Right. Cribbit closes the door and just looks through the window.
Starting point is 00:05:09 Maybe does that thing where you put your hands. On either side of your eyes. Yeah, yeah. On either side of your eyes so he can see properly. Dog, Cribbit is. Dogs hate grung, I guess. I try and calm the dog down. What's wrong with the dog's throat? His tongue has been taken out like this.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Oh, fuck. There's many. Yeah, come on. There's been, I think I've just. You're able to calm the dog down, by the way. Pribit still doesn't come inside, though. That's fair. I think I've just.
Starting point is 00:05:38 You seem distressed. I just, like, take a breath, put the leash down, follow me. God, tanneries smell like shit. Oh. All right. Pip, you know a little bit about tanneries. You know that this stench is probably, it shouldn't, like, it shouldn't smell great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:55 But this is a lot worse than it should actually smell. You can tell that this tannery has not been tended to in possibly a few days. Yeah. Somebody's left out all of the shit and piss. It should usually actually be packed away, yes. I think the tanner, she's been abducted, but that's not why I'm here. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come.
Starting point is 00:06:14 All right, all right, all right, all right. I'll follow you upstairs. I just like... Just gesture to the sigil. And what did I show you? No, maybe, yeah, the sigil first. Okay. So in the next room, in the bathtub, there is a man.
Starting point is 00:06:30 So this says something of tongues. A man in the bathroom? Yes. There's a dead body in the bathroom. They have no, their tongue was ripped out and they rose. Sorry. There's a box of tongues. Where did I put it?
Starting point is 00:06:41 I go to the kitchen, grab the box, and then there was a ceremonial nun. Just like all laid out in front of him. They just give a ceremony. This one here says, if you look at the inscription here, it says, if you this word, that's this. Do you know Infernal? No, I don't. All right.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Well, this here, it says the Amber Temple. Anyway, so I was thinking this. I'd say the exact, like I read what's inscripted. Yeah, okay. Do you want me to repeat it? Dark figures? Sure, like, I inscribe, I read what's inscripted. Yeah, okay. Do you want me to repeat it? Dark figures. Sure, yeah, yeah. Pip needs a pair of glasses he can take off and rub.
Starting point is 00:07:10 He does, he does. Okay. This has just become, like, my obsession for the last hour. Oh, wait, it's in the darkness. In my dreams, darkness beyond the understanding of man. Okay. Glorious evil in shadowed halls, Black beings trapped within hearts of amber. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Close your eyes with me, my congregation and see. Dream of the rot within your own hearts. Let the ichor well within you like tar and burst forth from your mouth as you call their names. The dark ones are here to snuff out the tarnished light. I did a little bit of studying of demons, devils. I don't quite know what that means. But it looks like she was taken by two, three, perhaps four individuals. And they're just pointing to like
Starting point is 00:07:52 really just rushing you through. There's too much. You're only just registering now. Was that a box of tongs? So it looks like, I mean, if you look here, just like push open the curtain yeah a direct shot
Starting point is 00:08:07 straight to that leg that leg yeah that's okay so it's a straight shot to Zarevich yes can I look at the box of tongues again
Starting point is 00:08:13 where did I put them I want to expand maybe too long looking for them and they're in front of me I take the box of tongues I just want to check they're all human tongues
Starting point is 00:08:22 I mean all of them are humanoid. Yeah, okay. So some of them might be like elven. That's okay. Look, devil worship's a thing. One of them's a dog. Devil worship's a thing that happens in Valakai. And I'm like, well, these could just be animal tongues.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Just double checking. Typically, yeah. You know that typically devil worshipers in Valakai, as far as devil worshipers can be, are harmless. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And then be like, oh, yes, one thing. Alright, um, this is the paintbrush.
Starting point is 00:08:52 I, like, waggle it a little in the tongue. That's generous. To call it a paintbrush. I'd, like, take it off you and then be like, ew, give it back. And I think that, uh, so she's been using, it is blood, right? Blood on the seatbelt? Yeah, it's definitely blood. Who's blood?
Starting point is 00:09:05 I don't know. I go back to the, I guess, the murder victim in the bathtub. He's not been exsanguinated. Yeah. Well, not his. He's also not really bloated enough. So my going theory is that this channel was trying to summon a something of tongues. Do you know anything about a demon or devil
Starting point is 00:09:28 or some kind of being? Devils and demons don't really call under dark places. It's not really my purview, I'm sorry. There's an overlap. There's a Venn diagram there, but it's not a circle. There's an Emmanuel for that, but I've never heard of it. Hot places edition. Would I know anything about any devil's demons as a, I guess, a studier of clergy?
Starting point is 00:09:50 Studier of clergy, that ain't right. Clergyman. As a clergyman. You know there is an entity known as the King of Tongues, which is a devil, a very powerful devil. And you know that it works. It's kind of like a – so for very powerful entities that need very important spells done, they will go to the King of Tongues. He's kind of like a spell – you know how you might go and get a spellcaster to cast a spell for you?
Starting point is 00:10:23 He is that, but if you are an ancient, eldritch evil. Okay. So I'm looking here. So she's written here something of tongues. Yes. I do remember there was a king. I don't. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:40 A king of tongues. Sure, yeah. A king of tongues. A king of tongues. Do you know how if you need a, say, for example, you needed a healing spell. Right. Or a fireball or whatever. I'd go to somebody who could cast it, yes. Sure, yeah. A king of tongues. All right, king of tongues. Do you know how if you need a, so say for example you needed a healing spell or a fireball or whatever. I'd go to somebody who could cast it, yes. Correct, yes.
Starting point is 00:10:50 So the king of tongues is an eldritch being. No, you are an, if you are an eldritch being, this is the demon, demon or devil? It's demon, demon or devil? I forget. Hang on, is it demon, devil, demon, devil, demon, demon.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Demon. And it's an, no Is it demon, devil, demon, devil, demon, demon? And it's not the Tanner. It's the Eldrick being. So you're saying the Tanner did this, presumably. Well, I would assume. But if all the people are being sozzled, is the dark mass, what is it? It's just sort of like a thing, really. It's a monster.
Starting point is 00:11:23 It's a monster. The dark mass, it's uncertain if it even has sentience. like a thing, really. It's a monster. It's a monster. So it's normal? It's a dark mass. It's uncertain if it even has sentience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of just like a force, really. What it is is a problem. What it seems like, honestly, maybe look out the window at the lake. What it seems like is that the dark mass has interrupted
Starting point is 00:11:39 whatever the hell was going on here. Or is it... Small blessings, I guess. Yeah, but what... If it's no sentience, what brings it there? Or is it... Small blessings, I guess. I guess. But what, if it's no sentience, what brings it there? What draws it there? Nobody really knows. People who spend time near it
Starting point is 00:11:52 just sort of cult the fuck up. But why does it come? What is it attracted to? Well, apparently, according to the fishmongers outside, it's only really been doing this in the last year. I don't know what that means, but I know what happened a year ago.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I want a very pregnant pause. Could it... Is this darkness, watery? Yes. Watery, darkness. Watery, darkness. Is it drawn to
Starting point is 00:12:19 beings of power, eldritch power? A manual's not terribly clear on that. What if, what if it's connected? Okay. So this is usually king of tongues. So somebody,
Starting point is 00:12:34 say let's say, Somebody trying to summon the king of tongues. Yes, an eldritch being of immense power needs to summon the king of tongues to cast his spell. They use the tanner, but then this thing over here, the mass has been also drawn to... What I'm trying to say is a moth is drawn to a flame.
Starting point is 00:12:57 Sure. Perhaps whatever this algric entity and this watery mass are drawn to... magic, powerful beings. And we know of a particular powerful being perhaps a year ago. Look, Emmanuel says nothing on that being the case, but- I'm not asking Emmanuel, Pip. It's possible. I suppose it's possible.
Starting point is 00:13:24 We've got to go there anyway. So here, I mean, look, there's a good chance that this is not connected, but then they are also, as a coincidence, that they were just. They've interrupted whatever this is. Yeah. Well, perhaps it's worth talking to Dragomir, given that they're devil worshippers, and this looks to me like devil worship.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Demon. This is demon, devil. Yes, sure. There is a very big difference. No, no, no. This is often a common mistake. Okay, yeah. Sure, yes.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Demon worship. Well, do they worship devils then? No, Piff's not going to worry about that. What was some of the zombie bullshit that you've been thrown in my direction yeah this is me dry and wet yeah this is me being like um it is okay so imagine that um there's a difference i guess of mixing up undead dry and undead wet you'd have to be pretty foolish to mix up undead dry and wet both of you hear the tinkling noise of someone opening the front door downstairs.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Hmm. I just like instantly, just a minute. Why would I do that? Shaking my head like, I'm so sorry. You hear creaking. Someone's walking up the stairs. The window? I know.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Dog's down there. I walk out. You walk out of the, I assume you were in the bedroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see a man walking up the stairs. He wears a long cloak. He has a hood, but it's pulled down so that you can see his face. It's a Barovian, you can tell that much, a local.
Starting point is 00:15:02 He has curly black hair and strangely coppery eyes. When he gets to the top of the stairs, you can see that one hand he has holding, there's like a sword at his side, and he has his hand resting gently on the hill. He looks a little tense, but he faces you, Pip, and he says, Lady Voter would like to see you. Oh, wait.
Starting point is 00:15:29 No, I know who it is. Yeah, Krivit sort of tricked me into climbing up the back of the watcher house, and I got seen. I thought this might happen. Best I attend to this. I point to the guy. I would insist that both of you come. Oh, well. Just walk past
Starting point is 00:15:47 and maybe grab the dog's lead and I'm like, well, I guess we're going to see Lady Watcher. Yeah. Maybe as we leave I give Krippet a look like you son of a bitch. Krippet's not there. That's slightly worrying. Krippet.
Starting point is 00:16:02 As you're walking to Lady Watcher's house, you hear a soft and then Kribbit's walking next to the two of you. Where did you go? This one was invisible. I suppose you're very happy about this, Kribbit. I suppose this will make a great chapter in your book. Yes. Are you okay with an adjusted dog?
Starting point is 00:16:23 He's probably walking such that he's as far from the dog as possible. This one does not get on well with dogs. And dogs don't get on well with you. Ancestrally, we are enemies. Good stuff. Good stuff. Where this one comes from is so where dogs come from, too. We're just going to let that wash over him like the tide. Yeah. He doesn't need to. comes from is so where dogs come from too.
Starting point is 00:16:47 He's just going to let that wash over him like the tide. Yeah. He doesn't need to invest time in thinking about what that means. It's just like, you know, there's all stories of like, you know, where did the elves come from? Where did like, you know, the tabaxi come from? All these type things. And like never once has Hector stopped to think, where do dogs come from? Now he has to think that it's like, oh, and stopped to think? Where do dogs come from? Now he has to think.
Starting point is 00:17:05 That is like, oh, and frogs. No, frog people. Where do frog people? He's rude to think that I am just frog. I wouldn't say this out loud. Yeah, well, Pip doesn't think about it at all. Yes. Yeah, like that's consumed me.
Starting point is 00:17:23 Do you ask Rebuk where he comes from? That has consumed me. Did you say home? He where he comes from? No, that has consumed me. Did he just say home? And then when you're like, what do you mean? He'd just be confused. Home? That's just what he's called. Maybe, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:35 How long does it walk to the Watcher house? It's about an hour. Yeah, maybe 10 minutes later I would ask, what is home? Sorry, Kribbit. Where this one is from? are you from candle no candle what is this um so you're not from are you from the 11 miles no could have been no this name no any of the huss with the hustling No, too cold. Yes, yes. You would be from...
Starting point is 00:18:06 Grung, not from cold. I try to... Grung from hot. Right. But the Elvenwilds are like the planes? Is not Elvenwilds. I bet it's the Union. You're from the Union.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Ah, right. No. The Union. Dumb name. Shouldn't have asked. Why'd I ask? Say what you are, not what you aren't. Normally this one has trouble with that one's names.
Starting point is 00:18:35 You give all justice. Make name short. Now no one really knows what is. Groovitz appears. I get. At least I understand these ones want to simplify, make short, but the
Starting point is 00:18:52 union, that really piss me off. You call opposite of what is. Union is broken up, separate, split. No one there together. Also, take grung slaves all the time.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Okay. I hate the union. All right, not the union. So you're not the war. Okay. It's near union. Near union? All right.
Starting point is 00:19:17 It's kind of right. Like up. Is it part of the, like, where the halflings live? Is it Werngrad at all? No, not the Noms. Why am I asking? I don't care. Noms stinky. All magic and machines all the time.
Starting point is 00:19:42 I suppose. Oh, I'm a gnome. I build things. This one hate living in nature. Nature just make me. Kermit's fiery. Kermit's on one today.
Starting point is 00:20:00 Okay. Sorry, sorry, sorry. This one writes story, not makes story. Yes, issue Where the dogs in the grunger from North of Union Not so far north No, not north, up I think I've given up
Starting point is 00:20:20 High, up high Just like staring off into the middle space. In between sea and sky, but higher than Union. Was there a cliff? Past the dragon breath. Dragon breath?
Starting point is 00:20:38 What are we expecting? What do I think we're expecting? Who knows? You know Lady Watcher is in league with strad yeah you know that she spotted or her maid spotted you and you know that she certainly has had someone following you that's what you know okay by in league with strad is that in league with strad like a lot of people are where it's a a deal but they're kind of individually it's in league with rather than working for yeah you well no actually you yeah you would know a little bit because
Starting point is 00:21:12 keening would have done some research about this keening believed that lady watcher got orders from strad okay um i must admit i've been keeping rather a brave face but lady watcher i am led to believe is in league with if not working for strad however that doesn't necessarily mean that uh when you say that the person leading you turns around and says shh yeah then he does the little gesture Do you mean Whispering Do you mean like working for or with I think for
Starting point is 00:21:52 But honestly Well Keening Keening believed that it was a Direct line of communication This house seems Disgusted with itself What a line. A slouching roof hangs heavy over furrowed gables,
Starting point is 00:22:09 and moss-covered walls sag and bulge under the weight of the vegetation. As you study the house's sullen counterance, you hear the edifice actually groan. Only then do you realize the extent to which the house hates what it has become. Maybe the best description in all of the books. Good for the rules. The house that hates itself. You walk in through the entryway. The front door opens to a narrow vestibule.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Three stained glass doors on wooden frames lead from it. The front door has two other side doors next to it you don't know where they lead to though you just go straight through into like a massive kind of i guess you would say lounge room sort of space like a parlor or dining room maybe combination parlor dining room to be honest. There's an ornate dining table stretching the length of the room, a crystal chandelier hanging above it imperilously. The silverware is tarnished, the dishes
Starting point is 00:23:14 chipped, yet all are still quite elegant. Eight chairs, their backs adorned with sculpted elk horns surround the table, arched windows made of a lattice work of iron and glass look out Onto the small fog swept Estate
Starting point is 00:23:28 You can see sitting in one of the chairs at the dining table Is Lady Watcher There is curled Around her neck a Like a little red imp Oh okay So this is Lady Watcher I presume Yeah I nod.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Maybe Pip's become very stiff now that the reality of the situation is kind of settling in. You are Pip Mandorian and Hector? Yes, that is correct. I am Hector. Please, sit, she says. I look to Pip. I know, I do a little nod, like sit. I look to to Pip you sit I know I know I do a little nod like sit I go to sit down
Starting point is 00:24:07 dragons pick I point at Kribbit Kribbit looks at you and says dragons you said dragons big scaly
Starting point is 00:24:16 dumb things you said stupid animals probably hate them probably keep it I would say no Kribbit
Starting point is 00:24:24 Kribbit kind of like some dragons okay I would say let's... No, crib it. No, crib it kind of like... Some dragons, okay. I would say it's probably a good time to stop talking. Lady Watcher interrupts. I believe the three of us have mutual interest. You are investigating the creature to the north? Yes. Yes. north? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Yes. Yes. And in addition to that, you, well, not in addition, in the course of this, you have snooped around the tannery. I look at Hector. Yes. What did you find there? She says. She says it with an air of like she knows what's in the tannery.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Right. Well, a lot of tongues. Yes, tongues. A lot of tongue-based things. And a dog. The Burgermaster has his congregation contacting an entity known as the King of Tongues. Okay. as the king of tongues.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Okay. This is, I believe, in an effort to increase the power of their church within Barovia. It is connected, but not the way I thought. Yes. Yes. Yes. The king of tongues will strike an accord. Pip just like, obviously, lizard, can't sweat, but would be. Everyone else taking it too lightly.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Yeah, yeah. Maybe too distracted thinking about the king of tongues, thinking about where Cribbit is from. I'm just like. It's a lot happening. There's a lot going on for Hector. The king of tongues will make a deal with their church. Okay. their church okay and will increase will allow their church's deity this devil to come and go from the dark places as it wishes to come and go from barovia it is perhaps only the demon the king
Starting point is 00:26:22 of tongues who apart from strad can allow entry and exit so you're saying that, the king of tongues, who, apart from Strahd, can allow entry and exit. So you're saying that if the king of tongues is summoned, people would be free to leave Barovia? No, only their deity, the devil, would be allowed to come and go. Who is their deity? Do you know? It has a name I dare not speak. To say its name is to summon it.
Starting point is 00:26:55 But she takes out a piece of paper and a pen and she writes it down for you. Hang on. Reading it out loud. Oh, wait. Probably as she's writing it down, she looks up at the two of you and says, We wouldn't even think of saying it out loud. She probably says, anyway, do not speak the name aloud. Yes, of course.
Starting point is 00:27:17 No, when it comes to the demons and devils, you need to have your wits about yourself. Right. Okay. So we have this. So they want to summon a demon to conspire to help out their devil. The creature is this. She turns around the piece of paper, slides it over to you. It says,
Starting point is 00:27:32 Father Limmic. Does that mean anything to myself? Surely, like, again, being a clergyman who went and kind of was like, I assume, like, a lot of the training was like, you're an ace. Yeah, you can fight the devil.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Fight the devil and demons. Come on now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Father Limic has never stirred on this world. You now know why it's trapped here. And his alien thoughts are inscrutable to mortals. His terrifying projection and unnatural children seek to change the world to one more suitable to his existence at the very least the world of father limic is one of endless darkness and deadly cold if he wakes
Starting point is 00:28:13 nothing would survive aside from father limic and his chosen brood that is the because he has not been active on the material plane anymore your your church, especially because saying his name, it is believed that saying his name stirs him and wakes him up. Because that, and then also he's not been active, the church, that is the extent. Like one paragraph is all that you were ever told. So you're saying that this entity is trapped here? She nods. And so they, if they get the King of Tongues to
Starting point is 00:28:52 grant passage for this entity to travel from this here to anywhere else, that is what their goal is? This is what they want. Pip's looking between the two of you. I'm now almost sweating bullets. I'm just like, Pip, we need to stop this.
Starting point is 00:29:10 We need to stop this. Okay, all right. Very quickly. There's a lot of debate currently. Is Strahd being alive? Is he the only one stopping this entity from leaving? It is, to my understanding, complicated. All that I am aware is that I have been given issue by Strahd to stop this from happening.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Yes, of course. And your proposition for Lady Watcher as to how to do that? So Strahd plans within plans within plans. The Tanner, she is no longer a problem, but the Burgomaster must be dealt with. Okay, because the Burgomaster, he will not stop at trying to summon, and I point to the paper, right?
Starting point is 00:29:58 No. What about, I'm assuming the rest of this congregation, they know about? Point to the paper. If you can kill the Burgomaster, I can take control of Valakai and I will deal with the rest of them. All you need to do is kill the Burgomaster.
Starting point is 00:30:17 It is very imperative that they cannot summon these creatures. Yes, it sounds like it. I would also like to inform you that this suggestion is not a deal sanctioned by Strahd. This is a deal between
Starting point is 00:30:35 us. So, do not expect quarter from Strahd's minions while you do this. There's an almost imperceptible relaxing of Pip's shoulders to know that he's not kind of directly communicating with Strahd at minions while you do this. There's an almost imperceptible relaxing of Pip's shoulders to know that he's not kind of directly communicating with Strahd at this point. She. Lady Watcher?
Starting point is 00:30:52 Yeah, to know that Pip, by talking to Lady Watcher, is not communicating with Strahd, you know what I mean. I'd like to maybe pull out Emmanuel and point to Watery Darkmass. Do you have any idea of how this plays into any of it? I am not connected with all of Strahd's machinations. I know that it is of Strahd.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Strahd is the one getting the dark mass, yes? I do not know what the dark mass is truly. All I know is that it is his punishment to this town. But the Burj Master, he was the one that was taking people to the dark mass, right? He's been consumed by it, yes. But then if this... No, the Burj Master has not been consumed by them. It would be easier if the Burj Master had been.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Then the Dark Master would be controlling him instead of his deity. But Isaac, he is... Isaac has been affected, affected yes he does not care okay well that's both good and bad thankfully will well no he will not because isaac is the bodyguard but he will not stand down even though this is helpful to the black Mass, which works for Strahd. It is... Why doesn't Strahd just do this himself? I do not know. Perhaps he could do it with a stroke of a hand,
Starting point is 00:32:11 and he wishes to see if I could do it instead. Okay. Perhaps he cannot. Perhaps... All right. Well, what do you propose? I propose nothing. You kill the Burgermaster.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Okay. I take his place. I, like, look at... Pip, this is a no-brainer for me. I don't care. That sounds exceedingly doable. How protected is the Burgermaster? He'll be quite
Starting point is 00:32:35 protected, but... He has a small cadre of city watch. Isaac is not... is formidable. He himself is not much of a practiced swordsman, but my understanding is that he can swing a sword if he would need. And if we do this, get rid of the Burgomaster, what about the watery, mass, giant?
Starting point is 00:33:03 Sorry. Watery, dark mass. If you kill the Burj Master, you are free to die to that. If we attack the mass or try to get rid of it, that is not going to... You are not making a deal with Strahd or the watery mass. We are making a deal. Yes, I understand, but you won't stand in that way. If we go to deal with this mass to try to stop it, if we can.
Starting point is 00:33:21 She, like a smirk, crosses her face. You can try to do it if we can. She, like a smirk, crosses her face. You can try to do it if you want. You have no faith. Or actually, Hector, maybe you're too consumed by the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've received a lot of information really quickly. Pip, you can see that Lady Watcher,
Starting point is 00:33:40 like as soon as this job is done, you don't think that you can trust anything about this woman. You don't know, honestly, if she won't just accuse you of the Burgermaster's murder and have you arrested. I literally agree to kill the Burgermaster right now so that we can leave. Like, Pip will, but it's also so that we can leave Lady Watcher's house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Is there a, Do you know the...
Starting point is 00:34:05 How quickly are they... Do you know when they're going to try to summon? She shrugs. With the Tanner off the map, I assume that you've bought some time. Yes. It will take... They must start again from the beginning.
Starting point is 00:34:20 A lot of tongues together. A lot of tongues together. Perhaps it is well worth scrubbing off any, I guess, do you have your people perhaps to go to the tanners and scrub off the sigils? You can if you want. That's not what I asked. Why does no one listen? I do not have the resources to spare for this.
Starting point is 00:34:39 If you think it's worthwhile, Hector, we'll do it. Whatever, just a bit of soap and a scrubbing brush. Do I think it's worthwhile getting rid of the sigil? Probably, yeah. I think it's worthwhile getting rid of the sigil? Probably, yeah. I think it is very important. If we can delay them even by a second, it is something. Burn the tongues. Burn the...
Starting point is 00:34:52 Make the... Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. My manservant can get you some oil. You can burn the place down. Perhaps a bit of an extreme.
Starting point is 00:35:02 I do not want to cause any more. Why not be certain? You're like thinking about the joining neighbor, the blacksmithy being like, well, he's also a devil worshiper. Also, well, the demon worshiper also wanting this to happen. Not good. But I am paying them for a service. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:35:25 I just would feel rude to do that. I mean, as long as they're not harmed, they are definitely causing, it's something. Well, as everybody else figures out morally where they stand. Lady Watcher. Yes, thank you very much. Consider it done. Yes, we'll head in now. She nods and she gestures for you to leave.
Starting point is 00:35:42 The man servant opens the door for you. Come on, dog. Step out into the not really refreshing air, but certainly it's less annoying than what was happening inside. My problem here is if we are successful, whatever the mission that we are doing, and somehow wipe Strahd off the board, what if this, and I you know, gesture to either
Starting point is 00:36:06 the piece of paper that we still have, or like the idea of the piece of paper. Yeah, yeah. If he's the only thing keeping that thing from being here, I like, it's just like, ah, that might be good. Well, if that is the only thing that is stopping this
Starting point is 00:36:21 from going anywhere else, that is perhaps a sacrifice that, look, I'm not. Hector sits down and decides to just become a farmer. Hey, Barovia needs a few new ones. They do. Also, if this king of tongues is powerful enough to grant passage between this world and our home. Don't really want to make a deal with a demon.
Starting point is 00:36:48 No. It's not going to work out for you in the long run. That is my... Well, let's kill the Burgermaster and see what happens next. Oh, hell yeah. Regicide, baby. Let's just get rid of the sigil. Is this a regicide if it's a mare?
Starting point is 00:37:13 A mare-cide? I don't think there's a word for it. Just a cool thing that can happen. Just a fucking sick thing to do. Yes, let's just get rid of the sigil. Perhaps burn the tongues. Yeah, yeah. Let's go back there, recuperate, figure out what the hell we're doing next.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Yenders at the orphanage. We should probably see how they're doing. Yeah, sure. Right. Let's hear blue water in. I'm going to drop off dog. All right. We'll head back to the tanner.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Oh, the tanner. And just destroy everything there. Yeah, just kind of scrub off the tanner. Oh, the tanner. And just destroy everything there. Yeah. Just kind of scrub off the sigil. Burn the tongues. Burn the tongues. I'm going to keep the ceremonial thing because, like, taking it to the Amber Temple and showing Esmeralda, I just feel that might be good. Yeah, yeah. As you're going into the tannery, actually, Dragomir stops you.
Starting point is 00:38:02 He's working out the front. I have finished your armor. You went into the tannery actually. Dragomir stops you. He's working out the front. I have finished your armor. Have you went into the tannery? What did you see? Not great things. Let's go get my armor sorted. Do you want to? I'll scrub away. Is the tannery
Starting point is 00:38:18 okay? I could not find. Hide nor hear of her. Dragomir looks you up and down. What did you find in the tannery? Looks like they have been kidnapped. There was a scaffold. What else did you find in the tannery? I
Starting point is 00:38:34 just point to the dog. Do you want to... Dragomir is not... Dragomir is getting suspicious, you can see. He says, okay, please, come in. We will put your armor on. You did,
Starting point is 00:38:50 look, I don't know how, have you ever looked at the dog? I was probably going to I will look after the dog. Please, come inside. What are you doing, Pip? Can I hear this? Yeah, probably. Does it sound threatening? It sounds like Dragomir, once again,
Starting point is 00:39:05 would, for an entirely different reason, like to speak to Hector alone. You probably need somebody to tell you whether or not the armor looks good. I'll come with. Yeah, I think that'd be very good. I'm afraid, due to recent circumstances, only one customer within at a time.
Starting point is 00:39:21 No worries. I want to maybe just, like, how do you gesture to follow the mind? Oh look Pip probably will anyway. Yeah don't worry. I'll just give you a
Starting point is 00:39:31 you know we'll just catch eyes. Yeah just the the phrase you know don't worry maybe meaning worry a lot. Yeah yeah yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:39 May have to they're just people but still no no I'll follow you I'll follow you I'll follow you. So are you trying to come inside as well No no no but I'll just stay on the outside
Starting point is 00:39:47 At the door The blacksmith Maybe give the dog to The dog to Pip Pip Yeah When you step inside The blacksmith steps in after you
Starting point is 00:39:56 Closes the door Looks at you Pip Locks the door And then With his blacksmithy hammer We're gonna go to initiative Alright Okay It's just kicking off straight away with his blacksmithy hammer, we're going to go to initiative. All right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:06 It's just kicking off straight away. You can non-lethally knock these people out. Oh, yeah. He's got my... Nah, he's got my mace. That's funny. You have no weapons or armor. No.
Starting point is 00:40:23 No, I never... I didn't have any armor to begin with. Dragomir hefts his hammer and says should have told me and he swings at you. He misses. It's your turn, Hector. Can I... Alright.
Starting point is 00:40:38 What other weapons are around? Or is it just his hammer? There's a few weapons in the corner. It's mostly simple weapons. There's a few weapons in the corner. It's mostly simple weapons. There's a few martial weapons. You don't see... Oh, actually, you cast your eyes around. You don't see the longsword that he was fixing.
Starting point is 00:40:52 Do I see my mace that he was polishing? Oh, no, you don't see either of the weapons, the longsword or the mace. Like I said, in that corner, you can find a bunch of different types of simple weapons, things like a dagger, a hand axe. I'm going to try and take his weapon. I'm going to try and disarm him.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Unfortunately, you lunge for his weapon. He slams his forearm into your throat and you stagger backwards. All right. And Pip, it's your turn. Can I just smash through the door? You could try to. Yeah. I don't really like picking tools or anything
Starting point is 00:41:26 Somehow, for some reason You're not sure 100% why But the door made by a blacksmith Holds pretty well Pretty strong Okay, can I That's all I can do on the turn Okay, alas
Starting point is 00:41:43 It's Dragomir's turn again He swings his hammer a second time This time he can That's all I can do on the turn. Okay. Alas, it's Dragomir's turn again. He swings his hammer a second time. This time he connects. Actually. No, yeah, this time he connects. Dragomir breaks your hand. You take four points of damage,
Starting point is 00:42:06 and you feel your knuckles popping through their sockets. If that is how we want to play it, fine. Then Magda comes out from the house area, and she screams, Dragomir, what are you doing? Hector, it's your turn. Is this really how you want to play it? I want to, like, intimidate. Dragomir has a determined set expression. I want to like intimidate. Intimidate. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:26 Intimidate. Dragomir has a determined set expression. It does not look like he's going to back down. He told me that his wife isn't part of the demon thing as well. Okay. All right. Pip. I'll slam into the door.
Starting point is 00:42:41 There is a big window in the door, just letting you know. Okay. All right. I'll try and smash through the window. That's fine. Okay. I'll kick I'll try and smash through the window. That's fine. Okay. I'll kick it out. You don't hurt yourself doing that.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Nice. Maybe you get like a part of your cloak, you wrap it around your hand, and then you smash the window. Dragomir is standing kind of directly in front of you. You could actually strike him like this. In the back of the head? You could if you wanted to. Yeah, all right. Do you get multiple attacks a turn?
Starting point is 00:43:06 Yeah, I get two. Alright, cool. You fuck up your attack. Just wanted to check. Just making sure that you get a crit fail. Oh, man. Slice my own hand
Starting point is 00:43:19 off on the glass. Just bleed on the back of his head. Oh, that's very funny. Up my sleeve. You become entangled in the target's clothing or armor
Starting point is 00:43:27 and must make a DC 12 strength or dexterity check to saving throw to free yourself while entangled attacks against you
Starting point is 00:43:34 are made with advantage you try to grab at Dragomir to punch him in the back of the head but accidentally your hands
Starting point is 00:43:42 get tangled up in the in his apron in the tie of his apron and you hector you see dragomir is like and he's thrown up against the door you see dragomir get get dragomir up against the door as he and pip are entangled in one another. It's Dragomir's turn. He is... It says all attacks are made with advantage, so I guess Dragomir just elbows
Starting point is 00:44:11 you. Yeah, he hits you, Pip. Right in my snail. Pip, you take five points of damage. He breaks your nose. Then Magda screams, Stop it! Stop it! Hector, it's your turn. Um, hmm.
Starting point is 00:44:28 I would like to be like It's a tricky one. It is a tricky one. Grapple him. Disarm him. I just want to be like I don't want to have to hurt anybody here.
Starting point is 00:44:41 With Pip half tangled in him you manage to fix his arm against the wall and snatch the hammer out of his hands. And then, yeah, just stop. Pip, what would you like to do? Maybe I'll hold my action until Dragomir attacks again. Maybe Hector's got this. All right.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Dragomir kind of like struggles a little bit, but when he sees you've got the weapon, Pip has him kindir kind of like struggles a little bit but when he sees you've got the weapon Pip has him kind of not really in a headlock. Pip's technically the one entangled on him.
Starting point is 00:45:12 But it is kind of nonetheless Pip's on the other side of the door so it is forcing him to stay up against the door. Dragomir calms down. Understand.
Starting point is 00:45:22 We both play for a different team. I have found out that your team is trying to summon a demon, and I am trying to stop that from happening. Look at what your team did to this dog, I say. Dragomir calms down. He doesn't say anything. He's just fuming quietly.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Me and you, people like me and you, we do this battle over and over and over again take the l dragomir just kind of stops pip do you do you unentangle yourself yeah yeah yeah yeah you might it takes a few tries but you managed to untangle yourself let me hang on sorry let me just help you hang on if. I'm going to push your snout down. Dragomir goes behind the counter, grabs your mace, shoves it into your hands, says, my hammer.
Starting point is 00:46:13 Of course. He takes your hammer. Leave. Armor and sword. He goes back behind the counter again, brings out your money, and gives it back to you. Damn. Yeah, well, hey.
Starting point is 00:46:28 That's fine. Take the money. I'm going to get scrubbing, I say. He's probably for the best. All right. I'll take the dog into the tannery and start scrubbing down the sigil. All right.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Are both of you doing that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll go and see if there's any kind of like anything else I can grab for dog. You can hear for maybe the first hour of scrubbing, you hear yelling next door. Then the sound of a slamming door. Trouble in paradise. Hector and Pip both saying, oh, my God, Jinx, you owe me a Coke. So you are completely scrubbing this thing away?
Starting point is 00:47:13 Yeah, I think so. It'll take you at least, I would say, three hours to completely. Is it like after an hour? I'm like, is it necessary to do the whole thing? I was going to say, we start scrubbing. Can we somehow get rid of it in a very quicker way? Like a controlled burn, as it were, without trying to burn down the rest of the house.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Is that a thing that is possible, Adam? Is it possible? As always, the answer is you can try. Again, it's more like, Jende is at the orphanage. You go to the orphanage. I'll just keep again, it's more like, Ah, Yenba is at the orphanage. They've probably been there for so long. No, you go to the orphanage. I'll just keep scrubbing this away.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Right, fantastic. I'll take dog with me. You head to the orphanage? I head to the Blue Water Inn. Oh, to the Blue Water Inn. All right. Do you ask if Erwin or Danica could perhaps look after this dog while I'm out?
Starting point is 00:48:01 So it's about 1.30 p.m. Yep. By the time you get to the Blue Water Inn. When you come in with the dog, it would be no, Erwin would still be behind the bar. But the two kids are up and about. They're doing, you can see that they're doing chores. When you come in with the dog,
Starting point is 00:48:16 both of them are like, oh my God! Both of them run over and they start playing with the dog. When you say, when you ask Erwin if he can look after the dog, Would you please look after this dog? So long as you don playing with the dog. When you say, when you ask Oban if he can look after the dog. Could you please look after this dog? So long as you don't mind the boys. I think dog would like the attention.
Starting point is 00:48:32 Dog? Yes, the dog's name is Dog. Oh, I see. It is the, the cult. Oh. The devil worshippers, you got it from one of them? Yeah, I guess I liberated it from one of them, yes. He laughs at that.
Starting point is 00:48:47 Liberated is not inaccurate. They do not, they barely consider human life, but they certainly do not see animals as life. Hence all the, they sacrifice many animals and so they do not get attached. I want to maybe even just bring dog closer to me. Oh, well, I am happy to have
Starting point is 00:49:06 used in any ritual. It no longer has a time. I do not think this dog was looked after. Well, no, if
Starting point is 00:49:13 you could no names, so they do not get attached to something they do not believe is worth. But they got to
Starting point is 00:49:20 put the name on a collar because obviously they don't want to forget. Dog or a parrot? It says dog on it. It's a dog. I know this one.
Starting point is 00:49:29 I give maybe a couple of gold and be like, can you get something nice for the dog? A steak or something. It deserves it. I'll be back. How rude. How rude of you, Jackson. They hate the dog. They gave the dog the collar.
Starting point is 00:49:48 Let me have my fun. Yeah, let him have his fun. Very rude of you. You do this very often. Yes, I'll be back later today. Look, perhaps if your boys can think of a fitting name, poor creature should be
Starting point is 00:50:10 named. So, Pip, you're scrubbing. It's about 1.30, sometime between 1.30 and 2.00. Obviously, when I say these times, you don't know exactly. You don't have a clock. This is just so that jackson and zamit have
Starting point is 00:50:25 an idea of time but it's yeah about 1 30 2 when you hear the tinkling sound of the door opening downstairs and in the back of your mind you're remembering the argument next door and then the slamming of a door and then you're like was that the front door was that dragomir going somewhere and then you hear the tinkling of the front door again and again and again and again oh dear do I hear the sounds of people coming up the stairs
Starting point is 00:50:55 yeah people are coming up the stairs am I in a room with a window? yes quiet as a mouse I was trying to steal open up the window Quiet as a mouse. I try and steal. Open up the window. Clamber out onto the roof. How's the lows? Lows?
Starting point is 00:51:14 The window's been busted open, man. You don't have to open it. No, okay, okay. Clambering over the shattered glass. You have a climb speed, right? Yeah, yeah. You are able to escape. Can I stay and listen?
Starting point is 00:51:26 you can yeah you would need to make a hide check or a stealth check I'll give you advantage because like why would they be expecting me? why would they check there? oh you get times two
Starting point is 00:51:36 you do well a bunch of people walk into the I would say even though you did quite well you're not looking in. No, no, no. I imagine I'm kind of like if there's like a windowsill on the outside, I'm underneath that, basically. You hear Dragomir's voice.
Starting point is 00:51:53 None of them are here. They have not finished their work. Another voice calls out. The window is open. Fled. Cowards. Yeah, I say nothing. Actually, I'm here.
Starting point is 00:52:06 I'm not a coward. I once was, but now I'm a brave boy. One of another, maybe third voice comments saying, Lokesh's work is not all gone. This is good. Good news. We must, maybe Dragomir again, we must get contact from people.
Starting point is 00:52:27 Gather a few bodies. Protect this place. Someone must speak to the Burgermaster. A warrant should be put out for them. You hear some boots walking away. Okay. We will stay here. You, Slaanesh, go get someone else.
Starting point is 00:52:48 Get as many people as you can. Head to the church, even. Head to the church? Okay. You hear another set of boots walking away. All right, spread out. They might be hiding somewhere. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:01 Can I... Where's the best place? Your hiding spot're pretty safe. Your hiding spot is pretty safe. Okay, I'm pretty secure. Look, I'll roll, but yeah. You see one of the cultists stick their head out the window and kind of look around,
Starting point is 00:53:17 but they're not actually looking to check where... You're like inches from them, but they're not actually checking their house. They're kind of checking the surrounding area. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. They don't see you in the surrounding area. So the head sticks back in. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:30 I keep listening. The conversation maybe turns to one of worship, actually. Oh, okay. A few people start searching or just walking around the house, just kind of being active sentries. Yeah, sure. And a few people stay in this room but they start kind of having a conversation about father limic you hear one of them maybe you see as well a hand
Starting point is 00:53:53 maybe with your hand on either side of the windowsill you see a third hand come in between your two hands and then you hear one of the cultists, like, hiss, like a dog or a cat, an animal might. And then they say, even with this Borovian sun, as dim as it is, it blinds me, hurts my very eyes and soul. Another voice from deeper within says, soon, soon, once Father Limmick is awoken, the sun will darken completely, and then we will be free. The first voice nods slowly. Oh, the first, you hear in his voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree with that. I hear agreement.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Sure, sure, sure. Maybe just like a, yeah. Yeah. That is true about Father Limmick. He's just going through what he wants, like, you know, grocery-wise. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Father Limmick. Great.
Starting point is 00:54:48 Good stuff. I think it's probably a good idea for me to actually vamoose at this point. Okay. I might slide down and then quietly try to make it back to the Blue Water Inn, because we've got a lot of information and a lot of different things to think over, I think. All right. You're pretty stealthy. You slink away without anyone noticing you.
Starting point is 00:55:08 Highs or lows? Highs. You are completely uninterrupted on your way back to the Blue Water Inn. Fabulous. With one exception. Less than fabulous. Okay. You spot a Gogash and Chauncer walking through one of the side streets.
Starting point is 00:55:23 Chauncer is kind of directing Gogash where to go. Yeah, I'll join up with them. Gogash turns to you and says, Ah, it is good to see you, friend. Yeah. You appear to be quite bold within this town. I thought they hated you. Yeah, well, they don't seem to.
Starting point is 00:55:39 I mean, I was sort of imagining I'd be grabbed in the street. That hasn't happened so much. But it's been a pretty busy morning for me and Hector, so I think actually it's probably worthwhile we all go back to the Blue Water Inn. Agagash nods, very well then, let us travel. What about the two of you? How has your day been? We went to the church, had a look around there.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Chaucer nods in agreement. Had a look around there. Chaucer nods in agreement. It is worn, but beautiful. Well, I assume for you, which is beautiful. Yeah, of course. In addition, we wandered north where the buildings are fewer. And there's a lot more grass there.
Starting point is 00:56:22 I like grass. Your cities, they don't... These aren't my cities, I go guess. Oh, yes, yes, of course, of course, of course. They look fucking ugly, these cities. Oh, thank you. I didn't want to say anything. I go guess. Do you not know that I'm not native?
Starting point is 00:56:39 I try to be tactful whenever possible. Maybe, like, my eyes go wide, but I don't say anything. And then we were just coming back from the east, the eastern part of the city. It is busier there, but not unpleasant, he says, in a manner that implies that it was unpleasant. You don't need to. Sure. Yeah. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:57:02 I just you've seemed of late. You've seemed very touchy. And I didn't want to bother you. Well, it's no bother, Ogogash. Oh, wow. You've... Pip, he puts a hand on your shoulder. In the short time that I have known you, you have changed so much. Is that so, Ogo Gash?
Starting point is 00:57:26 Well, thank you very kindly. Of course, there is still... I mean, we are all capable of improvement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's still quite a while to go. You're right, you're right, you're right. Maybe I put my hand on his hand and then stride forward ahead of the two of them. He follows behind you. That's what I get for being nice.
Starting point is 00:57:43 I didn't want to learn about that. There you are. You return to the Blue Water Inn. That's what I get for being nice. I didn't want to learn about that, Dave, but I asked. You return to the Blue Water Inn. Yeah. To be continued... If you want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch. D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sandspans Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.

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