D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott II #17 D&D Geography Club

Episode Date: June 18, 2016

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 2In which our heroes get back into the game straight away, in more ways than one. We discuss insurance fraud, enter a Zone of Truth and discuss the spelling of an illiterate... person’s name. Cassius learns his backstory, Princess Ansley helps determine our birthplaces and Leo isn't sad Krif is gone. So join us as the only thing that gets cut out is the Dungeon Master's explanation. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Sans Pants Radio, please don't hit me. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table trying to beat the shit out of gnomes, but that's exactly what we're going to be doing today. Welcome to episode 42 of D&D is for Nerds. I'm Ellie Kathleen, playing the role of Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. Across from me is Joel Zammett, playing the role of Leo Shadow. What? And next to me is the more attentive Jackson Bailey
Starting point is 00:00:25 playing the role of Cassius Christie. Yes. And, of course, the well-dressed Adam Klingrap. Who are you, my dad? What? Shut up, Adam. Previously on D&D is Finesse. How's Grayson feeling?
Starting point is 00:00:39 Good? Adam's just clicked. I know exactly where this is going. I'd like to impress everyone by doing push-ups on the deck You get to Jaren's outpost It's part of a nation called Goldcrest As you guys come in, there's like a parade You think they do this maybe annually?
Starting point is 00:00:53 Not for you, Jesus Christ For the gems and trade goods That they're dropping off here Save your bit for us No, not at all for you Good job with the rule, Adam. We'd like to procure fireworks. You know, I was looking through my spells
Starting point is 00:01:09 and I could have become a tree this whole time. Oh, man. Mr. Fist, you are an adorable little muffin of an owl. So you're on the ship to Karsari. You're going to Bad Bronze's cabin to learn if all of this wizard killing was actually worth it in the end. We'll follow him back to his room. I'm going to figure out how much we're going to get.
Starting point is 00:01:28 See if any of this was worth it. He's got like massive piles of scrolls here and there, and they seem to be vaguely ordered according to who offered the bounty. The majority of them are from Karsari. He takes like, he, you know, starts rifling through the Karsari ones. Give me the names. All right. Carter. Carter. Carter. He like thumbles through some scrollcery ones. Give me the names. All right. Carter.
Starting point is 00:01:45 Carter. Carter. He fumbles through some skulls. Is that the pirate guy? Yes. That's the one. You got him dead. Dead.
Starting point is 00:01:53 You got the head. Show him the head. Show him the head. That's him right there. Pretty well-preserved head. Not really relevant to the spell, but hey, you know. We don't know what we're doing. I guess if they don't have to do the divining spell,
Starting point is 00:02:05 it's probably worth more. But the dead bounty is 500 gold. Oh, that's such a big difference, though. Yeah, it is. 100,000. Or is he alive? Oh, alive? Oh, 10,000.
Starting point is 00:02:16 My goodness. It's a hassle to bring prisoners back, though. Yeah. It makes sense. You know, it's fair. It's not how. No, we wouldn't have. We would have made friends with it. That's not it's fair it's fair but how no we wouldn't have we would have made friends with it
Starting point is 00:02:26 that's it for the future just jot that down in your little notebook a lie what are the other ones you have Fenra
Starting point is 00:02:34 Fenra we only have a note though no Fenra we have no oh okay don't worry about Fenra no Fenra though
Starting point is 00:02:41 do we get anything if we say like hey we killed him we have our word Just your word? Yeah They can do just some divining spells But it says
Starting point is 00:02:49 He's like tapping the scroll It says here He's like a diviner himself So Any divination spells Maybe would turn up With nothing anyway So it's not
Starting point is 00:02:58 We took the amulet Remember? Sorry? We gave that to the seer You gave that back to the seer Bugger We could always talk to the seer. Alive, he's worth 1,000. Dead, he's worth
Starting point is 00:03:08 200. I don't know what they'll give you. We'll ask. And David? Yeah, it's pretty much going to affect the price. I reckon maybe 100, 200 for him.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Damn. I feel like that's going to affect the price. I reckon this may be 100, 200 for him. Damn. I feel like that's going to just put a dampener on the mood of the three. Is that it? I think so. We killed Wondernorton as well. Oh, there was a guy who was in the tomb. That was a necromancer.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Yeah, a necromancer. Yeah, we did that too. That necromancer. Yeah, we did that too. That necromancer. We describe him as much as we can. Do you know his name? No bounty if you don't know the name. I mean, do we know his name, Adam? You never learnt his name.
Starting point is 00:03:57 We just killed his bride. You, if you recall, just went out and attacked him. Although, you might have actually, I can't remember it's a while ago, you might have learnt the name from the night guy you talked to. Yeah, we spoke to the night guy and described that night guy. In any case,
Starting point is 00:04:08 you're not going to get the bounty for that one because you've already spoken with that knight. It's like anything you would have gotten you would have gotten from that knight.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Did we get anything for that? I think we did. I wasn't there. You got basically, you spoke, no, there was no bounty. That's right, I remember now.
Starting point is 00:04:22 There was no bounty on that guy. Oh yeah. But as I recall, your previous compatriot got a lot of moose heads out of that one. He certainly did. The locals arranged for you to get paid, and the knight, because he was on the trail, there was no bounty. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Okay. That's not too bad. Hey. Can't wait until someone goes back, listens back, and is like, oh, but this thing you said, Adam. not too bad. Hey. Can't wait till someone listens back and is like, oh, but this thing you said, Adam. Don't care. Anything said that I can't remember is irrelevant. It's not like we have any way to check.
Starting point is 00:04:58 That's how I got put in jail for insurance fraud. So all up. That's why I'm hiding out here in your audio studio. We're looking at maybe... 700 gold at the most. Maybe 750. Maybe a little bit more for Fenrir, but who knows?
Starting point is 00:05:15 I feel like... But hey, learning experience. Hey, hang on. Are you getting money for Carter? Tell you what. The halfling is considering something. He says, tell you what. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:30 You guys help me out with a little something something. Yes. And I'll say I saw you kill Fenrir. Go on. Depends on what it is, but all right. I got a bounty. It's like a rough one. And the bounty knows my face and the faces of my men.
Starting point is 00:05:47 I need someone he doesn't know. What's his name? Sorry, she doesn't know. Good. This isn't some sort of plot twist. It's not Grayson. Go on. Is it me?
Starting point is 00:05:56 Hold on. I've heard rumor from my crew. You got an owl, don't you, Cassius? I do, Mr. Fist. Did he come back? Yes, he's come back. Oh, my God. Yes,ius? I do, Mr. Fist. Did he come back? Yeah, he's come back. Yes, yes, I do, Mr. Fist. You wouldn't happen to be a druid
Starting point is 00:06:09 by any chance, would you? I would. Maybe the person I'm looking for used to be a druid. Is that so? Do I know them? He hasn't told me anything about them. He hasn't said anything. A person's a... this chick, she's a... called a blighter.
Starting point is 00:06:26 I'll see if you guys know what that is. I think I do. You blighter! Ainsley, you've probably heard of this phenomenon before. Oh, good. When a druid goes insane, sometimes they're like, you know what, fuck the forest, let's burn it all to the ground. That's a blighter.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Blighters just burn forests. Oh, that's bad. How far away is this person? Are they on the boat? We're on our way there. And then I'll take you back wherever you want to go along the
Starting point is 00:06:57 southern coast of where we just were. I forget their own names. D&D Europe. D&D Europe. Weird because there's D&D America there, but whatever. It's all good.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Yeah, the southern coast of D&D Europe. And on the way, you can help me out with this thing. That sounds great. Yeah, I mean, for sure. Okay. So you're looking at maybe the Fenrir, the bounty of 250 for dead.
Starting point is 00:07:25 Cool. That sounds great. But you don't get any share of the bounty for my one. I don't need you to kill the person. I just need you to find them. Cool. We find them, bag and tag them, bring them to you. We don't have to go to castle.
Starting point is 00:07:36 You don't have to bag. Just. I don't want you to spook them. And then just tell him. Tell him where she is. Tell me where she is. All right. And I'll say him. Tell you where she is? Tell me where she is. All right. And I'll say I saw you kill Fenrir.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Hey, that bumps us up to 1,000 gold. That's nice. Maybe a bit more. No, probably not. But still. Done. We'll happily help you out. So how do we contact you?
Starting point is 00:07:58 We'll sort this out later. Okay. So then you're going to go back to your room and inform Grayson you've taken on another job. Well, after that... We'll just confirm with our patron. Just a moment, that's the right word. You go to the next room.
Starting point is 00:08:11 He's next door. He's been spending a lot of the trip resting. That's good. He needs his rest. Do you want us to go while you... Do you want us to explain the... What do you want to do? Do you want to do it while we wait outside?
Starting point is 00:08:22 Do you want to stay here? No. Go as a group. Then you won't get in as much trouble. All right, then. All right. So we'll go into Grayson and we'll just explain how, because of the way that we've done things, there's not a lot of money.
Starting point is 00:08:36 But if we just do this one last quest, then we can get ourselves a good couple hundred extra gold. Explain it to him as like, you know, it looks like starting money for your wedding, it to him as like, you know, it looks like starting money for your wedding, something like that. Yeah, I mean every little bit helps. Like a dowry. Is that what a dowry is? Is he explaining it?
Starting point is 00:08:54 Ainsley, I mean. And you guys are just there? Yeah, like together. We'll back her up. We talk about like the current state of the bounties. Yeah, we say we haven't committed to it yet, but it's a very small quest and it's probably worth... Grayson listens quietly as you
Starting point is 00:09:08 explain it, which isn't out of the ordinary. It's how we... Anyway. Grayson starts nodding towards the end and the moment you're finished explaining the benefits or whatever, like, hey, it's a wedding dowry or whatever. Grayson's like,
Starting point is 00:09:23 okay. We don't have to attack this. That's Cassian. Grayson's like, okay. Cool. Yeah, we don't have to attack this. We're not. Nobody's getting into any fights. We're not killing any wizards. We're not decapitating anyone. Seeking one out.
Starting point is 00:09:35 It's literally just finding her and then sending a postcard. Grayson, like, if he had glasses, he, like, looks at you over the top of your head. Like, okay. I'm going to be like, love your work! And then walk back out. Very animatedly. Leo and Cassius, are you staying for Grayson's reaction? He will probably be there, cause we don't expect him to just leave.
Starting point is 00:10:04 He gives it a little bit of a sigh and then like swings himself out of the cot. How close are we, he says. The last time you saw us, it was like, you may be a couple hours. We're like, couple hours to Kyle's house. We should start packing. All right. Yeah, correct. Good one, Grayson.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Do you want us to pack for you? You seem like you're okay. I'm okay. You sure? We'll help're okay. I'm okay. You sure? We'll help you anyway. It's okay. He moves almost as like it's a point of pride for him almost. He gets himself out
Starting point is 00:10:31 and starts packing himself. I'll be like, Leo, come on. Good luck. Love your work. You can quite obviously tell that he's in a lot of pain. I like to gingerly help him
Starting point is 00:10:43 but not subtly but not so he's like Just make sure that everything he's in a lot of pain. I like to gingerly help him, but not subtly, but not so he's like... Just make sure that everything he's packing is close at hand. Yeah. Just to kind of real help him out. Just like, is this yours, mate? Oh, just put it on your bed.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Yeah, that kind of stuff. Cot. Whatever. Not cot, hammock. I'll let Leo do it because if the both of us do it, that'll be super... Is this yours, Grayson? Oh my God, Grayson.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Are you all right, champ? Would you like me to tuck in your penis, though? I don't know what... I meant to say something else. I was going to go with, like, Robert Whiteman on your back, but you made it weird. I was trying to say, at the same time, would you like me to tuck in your, like, sheets?
Starting point is 00:11:18 And I also meant to say, would you like me to find your penis? To, like, emasculate him? Yeah, but instead... I said, would you like me to tuck in your penis that's not a saying let's cut that out let's please cut that out let's not just cut out
Starting point is 00:11:33 my explanation tuck in your penis anyway I'll let Leo do that you all smell toast I just kill you and leave I don't do that you all smell toast I just kill you and leave I don't understand why we always smell toast it's a stroke
Starting point is 00:11:51 smell toast and die there are other symptoms but okay I'll let Leo do that I'll go outside and just have a sneaky smoke you come into the the port here is arranged like and just have a sneaky smoke. Yeah, a little puff of my pipe weed, whatever. The port here is arranged like,
Starting point is 00:12:09 sort of like Botany Bay almost, where it's like this area that you come into and then it's kind of where jungle meets river, but then they've got this like, the settlement carved out of the jungle and jungle, jungle jungle jungle jungle and then bang civilization that's cool rad you pull up at a port uh and everyone starts dismounting it looks like they're also here not only to offload the wizard but they also maybe do some merchant trade
Starting point is 00:12:37 as well to supplement their income or something and so in addition to wheeling the cage with the wizard off the boat they're also wheeling just general crates of goods I'm going to ask What was the guy's name again? Bad Bronze Yeah, Bad Bronze Is there any sort of teleportation spells that these guys offer? So when you got abandoned you can like
Starting point is 00:12:57 Boop boop boop over there Just to make things easier They do offer teleportation services for a pretty high price though That's why you got the ship Makes sense Why? It's cheaper on the whole Where do we go? They do offer teleportation services for a pretty high price, though. That's why you got the ship. Makes sense. Why? It's cheaper on the whole.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Where do we go? We'll follow your lead. Just come with me. We'll be turning it in at the same place. Okay. You go into one of the nearest spires, and then from there it's like a couple hours of bureaucratic type sort of like signing papers, that sort of stuff, handing everyone over.
Starting point is 00:13:27 You notice there's Talon guard, but then there's also people like knights in armor and all of the armor has like the same sigil that you saw, probably saw on the night that you met at Old Ashton way back. Yep, when we dubbed into the Pirate King. Oh, yeah. You assume this to be the sigil maybe of carcery or of their order or something like that.
Starting point is 00:13:53 But basically, any time you're doing this bureaucratic stuff, any forms or anything like that has their sigil on it. Cool. First, the first bad bronze does his thing where he needs to hand everything in and then you guys do your thing and it's like surprisingly you think you haven't entirely escaped dwarves
Starting point is 00:14:11 because the paperwork here is like pretty hairy do we need to roll to figure it out? no no no, Badbron's actually walked you through it he's done it before he's a nice guy he's a nice dude he must be looking a bit free
Starting point is 00:14:24 yeah he is And there's like Say like For all the different Like evidence that you have To submit There's like different forms Oh god
Starting point is 00:14:33 And then when you get to the part Where it's like Fenrir What evidence do you have Of his death Badbrons like Takes the papers away Because he's been making
Starting point is 00:14:40 You guys write it But he's been telling you What to write Badbrons just takes the paper He's like I'll handle this one Thank you Good champion He writes a bunch of stuff down Then you guys write it, but he's been telling you what to write. Badbron just takes the paper. He's like, I'll handle this one. Thank you. Good. Champion. He writes a bunch of stuff down.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Then you guys all have to basically swear like stat decks that you haven't lied on any of this stuff. Yep. Yep. When they do that, they actually take you into a separate special room, and as soon as you walk into this room, all of the hairs, all of the hair on your body
Starting point is 00:15:03 stands on end. And it's like a static field that you've just entered. And Bad Bronze, like, leans over and whispers, we're in a zone of truth right now. Oh, my God. He, like, gives you a bit of a sly wink and a smile, though, and, like, touches an amulet on his chest. Don't worry, though.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I got a couple tricks up my neck. He says, finishing his sentence awkwardly. But we can't lie. Yeah, you guys can't. Oh, boy. He does all of this for you. Like, when it gets... You guys are asked to explain.
Starting point is 00:15:36 I don't miss Chris. Neither do I. Oh, my God god He was the worst I'm so glad he's dead I'm marrying Ainsley for her money I'm kidding relax It got too real How funny though
Starting point is 00:15:59 Anyway What money Yeah I've got the party gold That's true Not even a thousand Bad Bronze like lets you go over the part everything except Fenrir who lets you go over that
Starting point is 00:16:16 but when the interviewer gets to Fenrir Bad Bronze like steps up and says don't worry I tell this story a lot better than they do and then he does it What a king, what a king. What a champion. He's very sly and smooth. The interviewer doesn't pick up on... By the end of it,
Starting point is 00:16:32 the interviewer is like friends with bad ones. What a charming lad. And he takes you back. Literally, he is charming. Like the spell. Oh. I see. He takes you guys back out. Good.
Starting point is 00:16:46 Or like, you don't know, but you sense a little magic from him maybe at work. Takes you back out and you guys get rewarded. So, did we get 700?
Starting point is 00:16:56 They were actually like, you get some deductions here and there for some people that you hurt in the process. Yeah. But they rounded up to a thousand gold for you anyway. Yes! You know what that means? The interviewer was like, oh, it should be only like
Starting point is 00:17:10 975, but Bad Bruns is like, oh, round figures. Yeah, you know, we're simple folk. We like to deal in round. And simple folk refers to an earlier joke he made or something. The interviewer laughs and gives you the full thousand. Oh, rad. Good times, guys.
Starting point is 00:17:25 We did all right. We did fine. Like these two, like, we did great. You're like, we did fine. We're getting by. This guy's getting
Starting point is 00:17:34 100,000 or whatever. We're getting the best of, you know. Oh, yeah, Bad Brons gets a massive sack of gold. Couldn't have been easier if they put
Starting point is 00:17:42 that in the chest for you. Sack just seems... To be honest, he probably takes the payment in diamonds. It's easier to trade. Anybody who takes that payment in diamonds is pretty amazing. He does. He probably deals in diamonds, to be honest. Blood diamonds.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Bind in Africa. In fantasy Africa. Amara. Which exists. Is that the pirate lands? No Part of the Where's D&D Africa?
Starting point is 00:18:09 Crystalline Islands Sick It's part of a nation Run by like Merchant companies And So Because it's run by
Starting point is 00:18:17 Merchant companies The laws are like Yeah slave labor Okay Sweet D&D is sad Yeah I had to make sad places well actually there's no definitely good places
Starting point is 00:18:29 but there are some definitely sad no happy places it's all a degree of sadness even candor is like yeah you know freedom and like proper laws women can't vote aww it's old fashioned medieval society
Starting point is 00:18:44 women can't vote. It's old-fashioned medieval society. Women can't vote. Neither can children. Children shouldn't be allowed to vote. One day, guys. One day, six-year-olds will be allowed to vote for their king. That's what I want.
Starting point is 00:18:58 But yeah, it's like a very... It's a world of classic medieval society. What else is there to see in Carceray? What are we going to do? Carceray? Seeing if there's anything else to do there? The entire city exists to facilitate the prison.
Starting point is 00:19:16 Hang around with Bad Bronze. What's his name? Fuck, I'm so bad. Bad Bronze. You got it right. Bad Bronze, yeah. Rough Bad Bronze. Rough Bad Bronze.
Starting point is 00:19:23 What's... We call him Bad Bronze. He explains to you how he got his dwarven surname. Rough bad bronze. What's... We call it bad bronze. He explains to you how he got his dwarven surname. Bones or bronze? His... Our father was dwarves. Bronze. He's not biological, but he was raised by a dwarven father.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Cool. So what is he doing on the island? I just want to follow his lead. He's like everything that I wish I was. After that, he's just heading back to the ship. He says, if you guys want to stay around, there's nothing to do here. No, no, let's go.
Starting point is 00:19:48 You want to get going now? Yeah, why not? I want to impress him a little. He inquires a little about you guys. He asks about your lives. We tell him the tales, the stories, the adventures. Isle of Natura. Yeah, maybe.
Starting point is 00:19:59 I always forget. I don't know, where was I born, Adam? I don't know. Do you want to be born among halflings? Ooh, do the thing that I did. Roll the dice on it. Yeah. And then see where it lands.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Yeah, right. Let's do that. Yeah. The same for me. Put it down and then. I never decided either. Yeah. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:20:13 Is that meant to roll the dice? No, this is for. Ah, fine. The whole cowboy over here. Cassius. And you were born middle of the sea. It doesn't make sense. Where? You were born around uh hus firmer which you know those nordic people you've been dealing with in the northern equivalent oh sick maybe
Starting point is 00:20:34 you were just born there and then i was born there oh my family was holiday yeah oh he's born in the sea middle of the sea was born in the sea. Middle of the sea. Zammett, stop being born in the ocean. Zammett was born off the table, on the carpet. Just go close. Is that Kandor? Prywyn? Prywyn, yeah. It's part of that merchant group I was mentioning before.
Starting point is 00:20:56 All right. There would have been a lot of halflings there, so it makes sense that you were born there. So I have been on a boat. Hooray! I like that I was born in Husfirma. Yeah, Husfirma. Because that's were born there. So I have been on a boat. Hooray! I like that I was born in... Hasfama? Yeah, Hasfama. Because that's like the pole,
Starting point is 00:21:10 right? Near the pole, yeah. And my backstory is that I fought all the animals and then had to jump up. Was I just fighting walruses? All the bears. There wouldn't have been a lot of animals around there, so it was like pretty quickly you killed all the animals in your immediate area.
Starting point is 00:21:26 I'm a bit like a blighter, but... Blighters burn things. There are other types of evil druids. You're not evil, you're a fighter, not a blighter. I'm just competitive. Anti-druids. I still love nature, I just love fighting nature. I'm afraid... I'm an idiot. I was like, if I talk sideways into the mic, does my voice come out sideways?
Starting point is 00:21:50 Yes. I don't know what I was thinking. Yes, Adam. My excuse is I didn't sleep a lot last night. Because we were doing this constantly. This is live. Live, guys, live. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Prywin, why not? Let's go with that. I was born in Husfirma. I fought a walrus, and I choked off. Good for you. Does that mean I'm born of slavers and or slaves? Prywin isn't as bad as the northern parts, because there's no, like,
Starting point is 00:22:19 the northern parts are literally like, hey, there's a lot of diamonds here, and slave labor is cheap. The southern parts are more like merchant guilds. Okay. So it's like more the production end. So there's a lot more production rather than raw material gathering going on. And the production side is a little bit better.
Starting point is 00:22:38 You came from a nicer place, but still, it's run by people who are looking to make a profit, like capitalism. On a level of sad, it's like a five. Yeah. Hey, mine's like, I don't know how mine is. You probably had a great life. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not.
Starting point is 00:22:52 The northern people of Hasfirma wouldn't mind dwarves. Are there many dwarves in Hasfirma? A bit. You didn't grow up among your own people. You grew up among Nordic barbarians, which explains so much. They found me drifting on some wood in the sea. They were like, we'll raise this.
Starting point is 00:23:14 You're probably like maybe, you know what? You would have been like, they have equivalents there of like shamans almost. You might've been raised by their equivalent of like the shamans sort of thing. Awesome. So that's why you're a druid and also why I fight, because I'm like, I don't want to be a shaman
Starting point is 00:23:28 I'm gonna punch some cunts it's like you rebelling against your parents yeah, that's all it is good alright, let's then your parents, male or female is so sad, because they were hoping you would succeed them
Starting point is 00:23:43 now I've got to train someone else to save my people from disease. Sorry. Oh, well, I'm going to go fighting. We ask him about him. Where was he born? He doesn't say. Rude. He laughs and says, another story for another day.
Starting point is 00:24:02 Okay. All right. Tell us more about this blighter and where was she last seen? What do we actually, let's just try and get as much information as we can before we do this. Are you going to try and act like you know kind of what you're doing as well to impress him a little bit? Like, yeah, so where's this blighter live? But like, try to impress him, but ask real dumb questions, which we need to ask. Let's be honest.
Starting point is 00:24:27 They go by a name of Cat the Red. Cat the Red. Somebody write that down. I think. I'll do it. It's the way I always see it written down is one word, but I think it's supposed to be K-A-T the Red. I feel someone illiterate, possibly Kat herself, at some point got to her name.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Sure it's not just Kathered? What? You sure her name is not just Kathered? I see you writing it out there, Adam. Could her name not just be Kathered? How do you spell Kathered? C-A-T-H-E-R-E-D. And this is a name.
Starting point is 00:25:10 Not one I've heard, but I mean it could be. I don't think so, he says. I don't know much about the name. Every time I see it written, I see it written as one word, but it does sound like it should be Cat the Red to me. Well, we'll see.
Starting point is 00:25:25 But anyway, she is illiterate. And a blighter. We'll have to be going back to Goldcrest. That's the only thing. She lives somewhere in the swamps. I know there's a town nearby and we can go to the town. Oh, you will have to go to the town.
Starting point is 00:25:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I know she keeps some sort of, like, you know how you have your owl and animal town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I know she keeps some sort of, like, you know how you have your owl animal companion? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's cast some sort of spell on her animal companion that makes it appear like a human. So the animal companion stays in town, and any bounty hunters that come nearby,
Starting point is 00:25:57 the animal obviously warns her. Do we have any idea what kind of animal it is? I have no idea, no. Anyway, it'll look like a human regardless. We'll sort it out when we get there. Look and sound like a human. I can detect animals, so I'll be able to detect it. Also, it can speak words and sentences.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Yeah, it'll seem and act like a real human. It'll be hard to... One day I'll be able to do that. Is anyone here able to detect the magic, he asks. Let me just double check. It'll be a dead giveaway if you can do that. We got detect animals. I got detect animals.
Starting point is 00:26:31 I'm not sure if this... Which is an animal. Well, yes. I'm not sure if the spell will conceal that. Try it. Yeah, I'll give it a go. Don't you worry. And I'm pretty sure, Leo, that Kriff did not have that spell.
Starting point is 00:26:43 No. So I can't imagine you haven't. That's why I hate him. You were the one who's like, I want to learn magic from Kriff's book. Well, you didn't specifically say that but that was the only source you had.
Starting point is 00:26:57 You guys didn't even bury me in the right river. Hey, I think it is. You absolute fucks. I like to imagine that you drifted out to sea and then exploded Yeah, like you bumped onto some ship Like, what the fuck What was that?
Starting point is 00:27:18 Do we know anything about this Katharine Katharine If she's seeing like do people go see her is she still using anything to sort of assist people in any way
Starting point is 00:27:29 I think she's trying to live a retirement like not seeing anyone but she's she's already performed a lot of crimes and needs to pay for them I'm just trying to think
Starting point is 00:27:40 of a cover if we go in there because if we start asking for someone called Catherid or Cat the Red this bugalug of hers is going to be like, someone's looking for her and he's going to
Starting point is 00:27:49 chuff off. So we need to come up with some kind of cover story that still results in us finding where she is. I'll leave you to your planning. You figure out whatever plan you want and come back to me. I've got a ship to sail. Let's get on board that ship.
Starting point is 00:28:05 You're probably saying this at the dock. whatever plan you want and come back to me. I've got a ship to sail. Cool, let's get on board that ship. Let's figure this out. You're probably saying this at the dock. You were saying this on the way, now you're at the dock. All right then, let's get on the dock and have a bit of a discussion. All right, so the way I see it is we go in there, because if we ask for a druid, she's looking for us as well.
Starting point is 00:28:21 I mean, we're looking for her. Could we get a scroll of her tech magic? You could purchase one from someplace, but not anywhere you're stopping. Not Goldcrest? Goldcrest wouldn't have it, no. Especially the podunk town you're going to. Look.
Starting point is 00:28:40 I don't want to say let's wing it, because that will end up in one of us dead. I look at Grayson. I need to have a, like, while everyone's on the deck, I want to have a private word with my fiancé below decks. That's me. That's me, guys. Hello.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Me and you. You two go below decks, but we'll stay with you two chatting. Okay. We'll keep discussing. So, yeah, what's our goal? Because, again, we can't be like, fuck the forest. We need someone to help burn it. Your thing will be quick anyway, Ali.
Starting point is 00:29:10 See, you know, I've been thinking about it now, Leo. And he said find her. But I guess he knows she's in the swamp, not exactly where. But we know the basic area. Like, what if we just bypass the town search the swamp I could detect animals ask an animal who's around
Starting point is 00:29:30 what if she sees us though no she's a druid not a seer that's true but if she finds us and catches us what do we say we lost yeah oh where are we
Starting point is 00:29:39 we're in a swamp or yeah Mr Fists Mr Fists could come in handy handy so if we just go into town like hey we're just passing through I said mr. first stops have a look around sneakily custom detect animals and then see where it leads maybe I was asking questions in the towns about it worries though, that our plan has boiled down to wing it once
Starting point is 00:30:06 again. Literally this time. Literally, yeah. It's alright. Look, that's the best we've got. I can't think of anything else. Or we can... My only thing is to sort of announce this
Starting point is 00:30:20 or something and... What happens if she finds out? And we'll pause you there. Because this is quite quickly going nowhere. So true. Ali, you get down. Like Grayson opens the door to the main barracks. Does like a quick, when you guys get in,
Starting point is 00:30:35 he does like a quick look around to make sure no one's paying attention. Seems, he seems like not tense, but like a bit on edge. Yeah. He closes the door after you come in, or after he's done a little check around. And he says, it's working again. And then you share a passionate moment.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Down my ears! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. We didn't start about painful. I'm sorry. A sneaky in the common room while no one's there. How do you do you? You have a great time. I just wanted to get to that. A sneaky in the common room while no one's there. That's all. I just wanted to get to that.
Starting point is 00:31:09 All right. Okay, the ship gets underway. I was going to say, what happens if she finds out people are looking for her? Is she going to scarper or is she going to try and kill us? Why don't you just go into town? You'd be like, we're looking for Catherine. Yeah. And then whoever runs for the swans
Starting point is 00:31:25 that's what i was thinking will be an option like going to town be like we have a meeting for the entire town it can't be big everyone gathers we're like is this everyone we're gonna get catherine and then we see who runs but that could be an option say hi no well we'll see if we can say what happens if she finds out that we are looking for her? Then we just don't get the bounty. But is she going to, like, scarpe or is she going to... I asked this to bronze. Bad.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Bronze. You, like, go up to where the wheel... What do they call it? There's, like, a word for it. The wheel that drives the ship. Sorry. The wheel. The hull?
Starting point is 00:32:00 Nope. Starboard. The hull is, like, the... The port? The port. Shut up. Anyways. Zales.
Starting point is 00:32:05 Stop saying words. The hull is like the... The port? Shut up. Anyways... Zales! Stop saying words! The plank of wood. You go off to bronze... The oak. Bad bronze. Will we ever learn what the wheel that drives the ship is called? No. No, we won't.
Starting point is 00:32:16 But other stuff happens next time on D&D is for Nerds. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com. Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch. D&D is for Nerds Plus,
Starting point is 00:32:45 the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sandspans Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.