D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott II #20 Crocodile Hunter
Episode Date: July 9, 2016Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 2In which our heroes fight well lizard. We discuss tactics, decide to just cheat instead and come home to Greyson. Cassius learns about the spells she has, Princess Ansley w...as totally listening and Leo needs to run faster. So join us as we stab ourselves and each other (for healing purposes). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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There's nothing sadder than a group of adults searching for imaginary traps,
but that is exactly what we're doing today. Welcome to episode 45 of D&D is for Nerds. As always, I'm Joel Zammett
playing the part of Leo Shadow, and across the table we have Ali Kathleen playing Princess
Ainsley Foggyfeather, and next to her we have Jackson B. Bailey playing the part of Cassius
Christie. Yeah! And of course, our ever-handsome DM, Adam Clifford the Big Red Dog.
I'm chained here. I'm chained.
Shh. Hush, my child.
Previously on D&D is for Nerds.
You hear a low growling sound from inside in the darkness.
Hello?
A wolf leaps out at you.
This bad?
What a wolf!
I don't think someone's in here,
but their pet wolf is now dead.
So we'll be in trouble if they come back.
I'll produce flame and we'll give it a... A viking burial.
You cast produce flame?
Yes!
Okay.
You cast that and then there's an explosion.
Oh, wait.
Why?
You know what a crocodile is.
This is a lot bigger than a crocodile.
Adam, you son of a bitch.
No, Adam, no.
I don't want to get chopped alive.
I'm so sorry.
No, you're mine.
No, Adam.
No.
Crimson.
The giant crocodile moves through the water towards the three of you faster than you could ever imagine.
It slams into you, Cassius,
with force that you did not know a creature could have.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I want you to roll the damage,
because I think this might kill you.
Oh, my God.
I am so Adam on a goddamn volley. Okay, so it's you. Oh, my God. I am so Adam Khan a goddamn valet.
Okay.
Okay.
So it's that.
Oh, no.
Plus 12.
Double it.
You don't have that much.
You've got to roll like two.
What did you get?
You got eight.
Eight plus 12.
20.
You got four.
You minus two.
I'm on negative two.
Wait, what did you roll on the dice?
Four. Fours. Two fours. Yeah're minus two. I'm on negative two. Wait, what did you roll on the dice? Four.
Fours, two fours, yeah.
So 22, 44 damage.
12 plus eight is 20.
Oh, yeah, you're right, sorry, yeah.
It's a 40 damage.
40, yeah, sorry.
Oh, my God, I would have been fine if I hadn't exploded the swamp.
You're on negative four.
Run, just leave me, I'll be all right.
He was on 36 hit points.
Oh, he can't count before.
You can use your sneaky wand.
Wand me back to life.
You want to wand him back to life.
Maybe the crocodile will still be confused
and try to eat this dwarf.
Cassius goes down.
We know.
Okay.
Ainsley.
You're next in the line, by the way.
Please just run.
Wand. Wand run Leave me be
If you want him he gets back up
But then what happens to me
Nothing
Cassius will technically be in the way
Do it
Heal
I will die
So that you may get a chance to run away
And marry your beloved
Cassius you're on two hit points Good you're breathing Am I unconscious though so that you may get a chance to run away and marry your beloved.
Cassius, you're on two hit points.
Good, you're breathing.
Am I unconscious, though?
No.
No, I'll say you're awake.
Why would you bring me back?
Now you might die, Cassius.
It's your turn, though.
You can do something if you want.
Can I heal yourself?
Yeah, but I'm never... You're not going to be able to get that many hit points back.
Try casting another spell.
Um...
You, like, I would recommend...
Paralyzing him again?
Try that again, because he rolled pretty high on that one.
Okay, I'm going to try and...
You have to take a step back, though,
so then you and Ainsley are, like, next to each other.
All right. Oh, God.
Okay, you do that?
And I'm going to yell run as I do it.
You got it. Oh my god.
The alligator like stops in its tracks.
This is going to
last for four rounds.
Heal yourself up for four rounds.
You have four times six is
24 seconds to get away
from this thing.
Run. I say run.
Is he going to catch up to us?
It moved pretty slow,
even when it was charging at you guys.
I'd say fucking run.
It moved super slow.
I'm going to run.
Like, Leo,
it could probably catch you, though.
Can you run and heal yourself at the same time?
As in, like, turn?
You can't run-run.
You can, like, sort of move a little bit.
Move, heal.
It'd be hard, though. Like, you don't want to do it in the first
round you want to get some distance
first let's do that can I pick up
Leo and Ron you'd be moving at an
incredibly slow pace he's fine
Leo has a bit of a head start you just gotta hope that's enough
I'm gonna yell run and just start
legging it
and also sneakily heal if you can
I'm not gonna wait
I'm gonna wait until I get some distance
In like the fourth round
Good plan, yeah
Yeah
After the 20th second
That saved you guys
Oh my god
We would've been dead
I'm
Oh, I'm not even kidding
Another instance of Adam being like
Whatever, they can take this
Being like
Wait, no they can't
You should be able to
That should've been like a hard fight,
but a fight you would win.
Classic us.
Oh, God.
No!
Adam!
It's catch.
Okay, Ainsley and Cassius, you're fine,
but Leo, you're way behind and it's catching up.
Run, Leo!
I should have picked you up.
I should have picked him up.
You could try climbing a tree,
but you've got to be really fast climbing the tree
because it's long and it could just reach up and get you.
Yeah.
Have you healed yourself a little bit at least?
I'm saying this is just you running, period.
Yeah.
Oh, God damn. It's not on you running, period. Yeah. Oh, god damn.
It's not on you yet,
but if this happens again, it might be.
You've got to pick up your game now.
I'm actually super, super happy Grayson didn't come along.
I'd be super bummed if he got etched by a crocodile,
and I know he'd feel obligated to kill the crocodile.
I'm going to keep running, you sons of bitches.
Okay, again?
Maybe you guys can heal.
Maybe one of you can slow down.
I'm on 17.
Oh, no, I'm so happy.
I'm not happy.
I don't want to just get Leo in.
No, wait, I am happy.
No, wait, this is the best day of my life.
Leo, it's nipping at your heels,
but you are withinside of that rock from before.
All right.
Are we all inside of that rock?
I'm saying, like, Cassius and Ainsley,
you're, like, next to it.
You could start climbing up now.
We will, we will.
This alligator, crocodile, sorry.
I'll distract it by shooting it with your bows and shit.
But if we get on top of the rock,
then I can produce flame and ignite some swamp gas
and blow it up.
All right, let's do that then.
But get on top of the rock first.
I'm trying.
Okay.
You little idiot.
Don't die, you little idiot.
Save me.
Oh, I only need two dice.
You two start pulling yourselves up.
Oh, thank God.
Oh, my heart.
It eats you whole.
Just in one.
Oh!
No rolls required.
You guys are watching that little Leo being like,
ah!
And then the alligator just...
You hit this patch where it's, like,
it's only ankle deep for you now, Leo.
And actually, like, when you guys are moving,
just regular moving, you're about the same speed.
So you're actually, like, keeping a good distance.
You've, like, gained a bit of thing.
You're at the rock. You can start climbing up now.
I jump, like, hold me!
Oh, gosh!
Catch me!
You climb up the rock.
Yes.
When you guys get up there, the
crocodile sort of slows down.
It's like, within range of your bows,
but it doesn't know that.
It's always way there.
Bowing it.
Fucking flame shit it.
That's the plan.
Let's cheat it.
Ainsley, your first.
Yes, please.
You hit it. Cheat it. Ainsley, your first rapid shot? Yes, please. You hit it once.
Not good?
Good?
Not good?
Okay.
Great.
I hit it great.
I hit it right in the eye.
You hit it once.
In the face?
And you do your five damage.
Five damage?
That's all right.
It's been the last time.
That's pretty good.
Your second one.
Uh-huh.
Oh, that's a critical beard.
Crit bad. Your second one. It's a critical bead. Your second one,
when you release the arrow,
have you ever seen in the cartoons
where they release...
They release the bow?
You're about to do that, but you're like, oh, no, no, no.
You grab it by the last second.
You nearly fire your bow.
It's kind of funny.
Then it's Cassius.
Produce Flame?
But will Produce Flame just produce it near me?
Yeah, in your hand.
And that will blow up.
Can you check this?
Because I don't have everything I have written down here.
Do I have Fireball?
Can you look that up for me?
That's how you hit me last time, Graham.
You don't have Fireball.
I'm telling you that much.
I do?
You don't.
What do you fire at me for?
Bruce Flame.
Bruce Flame has hurt more party members than it has friends.
What if I make my fire blade and throw that?
That's still going to probably blow us up.
No, we're on top of a rock.
If you guys get in the house...
No, but there's swamp gas everywhere.
Only around the bottom of the rock.
I don't know. He just said he was going to blow us all up. That was because it was produced flame, which comes up right in my house. No, but there's swamp gas everywhere. Only around the bottom of the rock.
I don't know.
He just said he was going to blow
us all up.
That was because
it was produced
flame which comes
up right in my
hand.
How many of
your third level
spells?
Yeah, I do.
How many of
them have you
cast today?
None.
Do you know
you have cure
moderate wounds
as one of your
third level spells?
You can heal a lot
more hit points
than what the
wand does.
Maybe do that
to yourself. You can heal a lot more hit points than what the wand does. Maybe do that to yourself.
You can also spontaneously
cast Summon Nature's Ally
3, which causes a creature to fight for you.
Oh my god, guys! Entanglement!
I could have done that!
Alright, next shot, guys.
Next shot. Finally use magic.
I'll finally use it for once.
You can infect someone
with a disease. you have cool lightning
Oh I have cool lightning
How long have I had cool lightning for
How long have you had third level spells
I think super recently
I think that was fourth level
Let's just double check in case I don't have any third level spells
I don't
No you mistakenly thought you did
Next level you got third level spells
Well lucky I've not used any
Cool lightning is the best.
That would make sense then.
I was wondering why you...
Whatever.
Jack's going to hate you so much.
You have reduced animal.
Perfect.
You could have made him smaller.
I'm going to cast it now.
You got to touch him though.
I'll leap onto him from the rock.
Oh, you have flaming spear.
Yeah, he said that before.
I'll cast flaming spear and throw it.
You don't need to throw it.
But he wants to, though.
Flaming spear.
You just create it in an area.
Cool.
Okay.
You do that.
The fireball explodes the area around it.
Everybody?
No, no, no.
Not everybody.
Only near enough to the crocodile.
Yeah.
Half damage somehow. I guess it goes underwater or something.
Crocodile is very good at dodging.
Whoa, just rolls out of the way.
Barrel rolls out of the way.
Deals a whopping...
100 points.
Six points.
You're welcome.
Then the fireball itself deals three damage. Good job. That's pretty good. And you can just hold the fireball itself deals 3 damage
and you can just hold the fireball there if you want
oh my god I do
how far does that fireball move
you might be able to just leave it on
exploding
it's not going to keep swamp gas exploding
hold it near him
just keep it around him
circle him
how do we even find these fucking monsters?
We literally just had to look at a chip.
This is a spell you've had for a while, yes?
Yeah, I suppose.
It's a pretty good spell.
You should have better notes.
Know what you have.
Maybe like,
Drew, hey.
With a spear, basically, you can just keep it on it for a couple of rounds.
You can be like, let's use the spell.
I want to punch it in the face.
I want to punch a crocodile in its mouth.
I want to get a fucking tooth and make a necklace rather than explode it.
Oh, my God.
The crocodile's like, ah, ah, ah, fire.
And it, like, tries to run, and you just hold the spear on it.
Yeah, I'm going to burn it to death.
You deal nine damage.
That's good.
You're doing good.
Good job.
That's pretty great.
I'm taking the head of this crocodile as a trophy.
There needs to be more positive.
Reduce it first.
Oh, that's a great idea.
Then I can.
Tiny little crocodile head.
I think it reduces it by one size, and if it's giant,
then it'll go to large, and I could...
Still be big.
Still be pretty big.
In my head, any sort of MMO or any sort of game where this is happening,
the crocodile's glitching out and going back to full health
because we're clearly cheating.
And then it's out of range.
Your flaming sphere can't actually...
It's like the crocodile is a little bit faster than the flaming sphere,
but it's so big that you can just...
It's like slowly getting away from the flaming sphere.
Yeah, so now it goes back into the swamp and you lose sight of it.
Let's heal up.
Heal up.
All right.
I'm going to stab myself with the wand.
It's a pity though,
because you were super close to killing it.
Oh.
Can we chase it?
Do you want to?
I kind of want to.
Yes.
You could get it in one go,
but it could get one of you in one go.
Let's go chase this whale lizard.
Wait, I'm not halfway.
You don't have time to heal up if you're going to chase it.
Can I use entanglement?
It'll entangle it, won't it?
That'll catch it.
You can actually do it.
Yeah?
Hell yeah.
I'm so excited.
This is the best time I've ever been able to use entanglement.
You, oh, hang on.
I just lost the mark in the book.
Oh, sorry.
For big crocodile.
Giant crocodile.
Crocodile, yeah, giant. For big crocodile. Giant crocodile.
Dire crocodile?
Giant crocodile.
Just giant.
Is there a picture?
Nah.
It doesn't have any pictures of the... It's a pity.
It doesn't have any pictures of the animal.
Just imagine a crocodile,
but like three times the size or something.
Oh, I'm scared.
Oh my God.
I couldn't imagine it before,
but then you have those descriptive words.
I'm scared.
Yeah, you hold it in place,
so I guess you get another...
You're welcome, guys.
...couple turns at least. Does it do damage? Or does it just hold it? No, it just holds it in place, so I guess you get another couple turns at least.
Does it do damage?
No, it just holds it in place.
That's still pretty good.
I mean, like, yay, but it's kind of a shit spell.
Eight damage?
If I was by myself.
We're going to burn this thing.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
I'm going to shoot it.
Oh, good.
Do you have a bow and arrow?
Do you have a crossbow?
No, I got a shortbow.
Do you even have a crossbow?
No.
You kill it.
Hey!
Good!
Now stab me with that wand.
Now use potion of...
I mean, use...
No, I don't have moderate healing.
That was me getting mistaken.
Stab me, stab me, stab yourself.
Actually, stab yourself first.
I could cure light wounds,
but a wand won't waste a thing.
So I'm just going to start stabbing everyone with the cure waste a thing. So I'm going to start stabbing everyone
with the Cure Light Wounds wand.
Then I'm going to go and get him.
I'm going to work out if a crocodile should give you treasure.
Yes, it should.
No, no.
I want boots.
I want boots out of this crocodile.
Let's skin it and make armor.
It doesn't have any stats for treasure.
I'm going to take its teeth and make a necklace anyway.
Magical necklace. Can we heal up? Everyone. Skin it and make armor! Yeah, it doesn't have any stats for treasure. I'm going to take its teeth and make a necklace anyway. Okay, so you guys start healing up.
Magical necklace.
Can we heal up all? Who's taking damage?
Everyone.
Oh, God, Cassius.
I know.
Let's start with Ainsley because you're the least hurt.
Yeah, I'm fine.
So who's one do we use?
Mine.
We use mine.
We use mine often.
Oh, one use and you're back to full hit points.
Okay.
Nice.
Without Leo, I think you should only take...
And then Leo... Oh, damn. Takes two uses to get you to full hit points. No. Nice. Without Leo, I think you should only take... And then Leo...
Oh, damn.
Takes two uses
to get you to full hit points.
No, that's not too bad.
That's pretty good.
Oh, but you have
not a lot of health.
And Cassius.
Here we go.
I just imagine me
sitting at that rock
being like,
stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab.
Just jabbing it into my side.
Good.
I like the idea
of putting it over your head.
Like, you know when you used to go to, like, birthday parties
and they were fairy-themed?
Yes.
And the mother fairy would come along and be like,
ooh, I'm a fairy.
Ooh, do you?
You're doing this every time.
Like, Cassius, you just don't have to.
Oh, the fairy's coming.
I'm a fairy princess.
Oh, you're the fairy princess.
Cassius became Shrek.
Why do you? You're a fairy princess. I'm a fairy princess. Oh, you're the fairy princess. Yeah. I don't understand. Why do you...
You're a fairy princess.
I'm a fairy princess.
I've never heard you this lady-like before.
Oh, fairy princess.
That's not even your...
What are you doing?
Fairy princess.
That's a good joke.
Princess?
Not really, Cass.
Pretty crap.
Oh, no, I got the hiccups from laughing again.
Oh, no.
Hallie.
Hallie. No, I'm sorry, Cass. Oh, there we go got the hiccups from laughing again. Oh, no. Hallie. Hallie.
No, I'm sorry, guys.
Oh, there we go.
Has the person who belonged, like the wolf owner,
has they come back yet?
In all this commotion?
Just see us stabbing ourselves with wands.
A burnt crocodile, a dead wolf.
Katya, it takes nine goes to get you back to full hit points.
Wow. But I'm full hit points. Wow.
But I'm there.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah, you are.
We need to get like...
You are quotation marks there.
Another one of those wands, but for like the next level.
Cure moderate.
Yeah.
Let's get cure heavy.
Why not?
Worth the money.
Are you looking for these two dice?
Oh, there, yes.
I was using them to not die, to see if I died.
That's right, that's why they were over there.
Let's go over and inspect that crocodile.
Yes.
It's a giant fucking ass crocodile, 15 feet long.
How big's one of the teeth?
Can we take teeth, please?
One of the teeth is probably maybe the length of your forearm.
Can we take one each?
The main, like, you know, the crocodiles have those main two incisors, are they called?
Incisors, yeah.
Yeah, incisors.
The main two of those are maybe, like, as long as a dwarven arm,
so slightly shorter than a human one.
Cool.
I'd like to take one, and I'd like to sheath it like a sword.
It won't work like a sword.
You know that, right?
It won't work like a rapier?
It won't work like a rapier.
However, if I grab a few of these, put them in my backpack, because then I can use them
as a launch item. You quite handily work one out.
That's awesome. Can I take a bunch of Crocodalti here so
then I have stuff to launch? Are you gonna take them?
Yeah. We would all like to take Crocodalti.
Surprisingly you managed to get a couple intact. I'd just like to imagine you being like, leap up, grab one, and just hold it
as it slowly pulls out of the top gum.
I would also like one, please.
How many teeth do I get, Adam?
Hang on, I'll roll for you in a sec.
Ainsley, you get the other big one, I guess.
Oh, I get a big one.
Sick.
At least ten.
Leo, you get...
Croc, three.
Keep going, keep going.
I want like a lot.
Oh my goodness
Gonna run out of teeth soon
Nah good
Big
You've got 12 in total now
And you wanna stop there?
Yeah it's like a very toothless now
Gross
Well now I have something to launch
Yeah when you do your scatter spray
How good
You wanted to launch item rather than scatter you do your scatter spray. How good.
You want to do a launch item rather than scatter spray for that.
But you can drop them on the floor out of your bag and scatter spray. I could, but I'm not used.
So I'm going to launch item.
All right.
Let's check out the third one.
We still got to find the third one.
That's what we're doing here.
God damn.
Hey, do you want to just detect animals?
Yeah, just real quick.
So we can avoid this?
I pointed at the crocodile.
You're not going to, you're going to run out.
You're going to, blah.
You are going to run out of castings of that spell
before you get even halfway.
Never mind then.
Before you get a quarter.
Before you get to where you met the crocodile,
you are going to run out of castings.
And I assume because we're in a swamp,
it's going to be like one of those
can't see the forest for the trees scenario
where I'm like, there's just animals.
What did you want to know?
There's a frog.
There's parrots.
We used to avoid the crocodile thing.
Let's keep going.
Okay, you can take point again.
I will.
Another crocodile.
Another.
We know how to deal with it now.
No hassle this time.
You get to the third one.
The third one is definitely memorable
because there's some sort of...
You assume whoever this mermaid...
Merman?
This hermit.
This mermaid.
It's like a muppet, but also a hermit.
Audience, they are putting their arms above their heads We're Muppeting
I have enough trust and faith in the audience to know that they know what a Muppet sounds and looks like
And does
Anyway
Yes, what is this Muppet doing?
This Hermit obviously gets hassled by something,
like maybe crocodiles a lot,
because there's a stone wall that it looks like
it has to have been magically created around the small hut,
and in front of the stone wall are wooden spikes sticking outwards.
Cool.
There's any movement going on.
The stone wall also has like wooden spikes just like set
into the top of it
it looks like a war camp
like the orcish war camp
you came across
wow
I'm gonna guess this is
uh
uh
cath
catharid
catharid
this is my like
catharid
red hot assumption here
it's got a gut feeling
there's like a
a gate
the gate looks like it has
uh
yeah the gate
has this massive heavy chain on it,
and the chain is locked, which is odd for a druid.
Druids don't often use metal.
Do you make this a...
Do I know...
Cassius can just tell you don't use metal.
It's not natural.
Well, a druid wouldn't use metal.
That's why I don't kind of...
A blighter is no longer a druid, though.
I say that.
Well, true.
So can they use metal? A blighter can, yeah. It's not though. But I say that. Well, true. So can they use metal?
A blighter can, yeah.
It's not really a druid anymore, is it?
No.
Use your head, Leo.
I am.
That's why I'm confirming with you.
Yes.
Good.
You're right.
Is there any movement around that house?
You can't see into, like, the gate blocks your view of the...
You can see, like, over the gate,
you can see the top of the little cottage thing,
but you can't see the cottage proper.
I'd like to get Mr. Fist to go and have a look in.
Mr. Fist, like, dives below the tree canopy
and tries to fly over the...
Ignited flame.
Mr. Fist, no!
That's all right, because at fifth level I can get an ape.
I noticed.
As soon as that happens, like, as soon as Mr. Fist gets close,
you get, You get from him
The mental feeling of
Nope, nope, nope
And then he just fucks off
Mr. Fist
Mr. Fist does not like this place
I would say
Do we want to go check the fourth one out
Just to be certain
Or are we going to put all the eggs in this one basket
Well I mean here's the thing.
You already said that, you know,
oh, I saw Fenrir.
So even if we go back and this is the wrong one,
there's no skin off our nose.
That's true.
Unless he goes back there and tells them that he lied.
How is the...
How far away is the fourth?
How far away is the fourth?
Yeah, how far away is the fourth?
Another couple of hours out of your way.
Do you want to just go to that one?
Might as well check it.
And then we can chuff on home. Come back. This will be
your day. Yeah. Okay. Go to the fourth
one. Why not?
Yeah, you get there without any trouble.
The fourth one's set into a tree.
The tree...
The tree's, like, obviously
leaning to one side because of the
weight of this treehouse. It's like a child's
treehouse, though. Good. Awesome.
It's one room, and it's not a
big one room. Cool.
There's like a rope ladder that obviously descends down.
The rope ladder's been pulled up and you can see a light in the window.
I'm not even going to... Hello! We call out.
I'm not going to try and hide this one.
A young man like sticks his
head out the... There's nothing in the window.
Sticks his head out the window.
What? Do you need anything?
No. Milk? Okay you need anything? No.
Milk?
Okay, cool.
Have a good one.
See ya.
You too.
We're good.
We can go back.
We'll go back home.
We'll shift back to the village.
I wanted to hit my focus head up and be like, oh, never mind.
You still leading the way, Cassius?
Yeah.
Good.
Would have gotten lost otherwise.
Would have been super funny if that was the druid,
just using a spell to change your face.
Could have happened.
Could have happened.
Could have happened.
Whatever.
No skin off our nose.
You get back.
You get back to the tavern, I guess.
You'd go to the tavern, yeah?
Yeah.
Not Leo.
I was about to say Leo.
Grayson is sitting in the bar still.
He looks like he's had a few.
Cool.
Grayson, we're good to go.
He nods.
Okay.
What did you have to kill?
Nothing.
Nothing.
Well, an alligator.
That's a roll bluff for you.
That's a tiny alligator.
It wasn't, you know.
It was huge.
We still lie.
Crocodiles.
They're tiny crocodiles.
I just don't want to make it seem like Ainsley was ever endangered.
What's that?
You don't know what a crocodile is?
You don't know what a well lizard is?
No.
Do you know what a lizard is?
You guys spend like a couple hours explaining crocodiles.
I like how we get like napkins.
We've never been this far out.
Trying to draw it in
charcoal think of a lizard but oh no longer now sorry he's been to
Husqvarna but he's never been to like oh wait he has no idea so think of like a
puppy and that little bit bigger teeth that's about it no no real damn place
as you're describing and he's like how big did you say this thing was?
Size of a...
Like a puppy.
Puppy.
Like a little dog.
About the size of a puppy, huh?
Like a big puppy.
And like a...
I don't think you noticed this, Cassius, he says,
because, you know, you're pretty often, like, covered in gore and whatnot.
But there's a lot of your own blood I can see on you.
Bust.
Was a vicious
little guy
he comes out with a finger and he just
pokes it into one of the holes
that the crocodile made
he didn't hurt you
he's completely healed
he could probably get two fingers
into this hole
whatever I'm not going to make that.
Yeah, don't.
Like a puppy, but like a big puppy.
Look, everyone's alive, Grayson, so get off our backs.
We huff and go to bed.
And there's not much more we've got to do.
We've got three days.
We'll meet him at the docks.
Tickety-boos your uncle.
Tickety-boos.
Tickety-boos your uncle. Tickety-boos your Tickety boo's your uncle
Tickety boo's your uncle
You get a lot of weird stares from the locals
But no one
No one tries to fight you
Like they did the first day
We killed a giant crocodile
A small crocodile
Like Grayson just behind you
It was so tiny
Tiny like you would not believe
Okay
On the third day you guys row out to about where
Bad Bronze left you
And it doesn't take long
For Bad Bronze the ship to reappear
It's moving a lot
Higher in the water now
You assume they've dropped off a lot of cargo
Oh okay Throw down some ropes for you guys a lot higher in the water now, you assume they've dropped off a lot of cargo.
Good on them.
Throw down some ropes for you guys to latch onto.
They bring you back up a lot.
Bad Bronze is there to greet you.
What did you find?
A very small crocodile.
We circle where it was. That's where she is.
The third one?
The third one. That's where she is.
Oh no, Adam.
You son of a bitch.
What have you done?
You.
Listeners cannot even comprehend
the grin on Adam's face.
It's such a little baby vole
face where he's gonna fuck us.
Badbron falls the map
up, talks it into his pocket
and he nods and says,
thank you very much for this.
You've helped me greatly.
And I explain about the...
You've saved a lot of lives today.
Oh my God.
Good.
I explain like the barricades,
everything that's going on there.
That makes sense.
That's probably where she is.
Yeah.
And Mr. Fist being all scared of...
You know what?
Not our problem anyway.
Yeah, not our problem anymore.
That was what we could deduce from the evidence that was provided.
Although, like, look, the first one,
don't worry about that. The fourth one,
don't worry about that. The third, second
sneaky one, we couldn't see anyone, so it might
be there as well, but we very much doubt...
Do I detect the hints
of a medic? No, I detect the hints of metagame?
No, I'm just scared of you, Adam.
It's not metagame.
It's being terrified of your face.
Look, it's not our problem.
If it's wrong, it's wrong.
Nobody's coming for us.
I'm like 98% sure it's the third one.
But you're positive it's the third one.
Yeah, look, if it's going to be anywhere.
Like the evidence that was given to us,
we deduce that she's...
Don't even worry about it.
I trust your instincts, he says.
I was cocky until your stupid face, Adam.
And then you sail off into the sunset.
We sure do, Adam.
Sunset's in the east, right?
Oh, wait, where do you guys want to be dropped off?
That's up to Grayson and Ainsley.
Where do we live?
Where did Grayson come from?
Grainsley.
Grayson.
When are you telling us you're like...
I remember...
After the wedding.
After the wedding, apparently.
He said that I had to wait until after the wedding.
I just need to split up them party.
If you're lucky.
Grayson would probably suggest that you guys head to...
He knows a small town
oh actually no wait he doesn't know the southern
side
Grayson just says that you need to get to Kander
and into Kander proper
so it's like a long
sail along the southern coast
or just let off somewhere
along the southern side of
this continent there's a trail
called the King's Path
and the King's Path. And the King's Path
is not really named after
any king, but it's
named after the fact that
a lot of merchants
it's basically a paved
road that runs the entire length
of the continent. And in these days
a paved road that long
is an amazing feat.
A lot of merchants call it the king's path because they're like,
if I keep working this path for long enough, rich as a king.
I'll become a king.
Yeah, that sort of thing.
It's not actually marked on that map, unfortunately.
I've got the, hang on.
Let me show you on a big map.
Sort of like, if I keep paving this road, then I'll become royalty.
Are the roads in there for as long as possible?
It's a lot of, like, origin stories for how the road came about.
It's very faint on the big map.
Just on the southern end.
The King's Road.
So where are we heading to again?
We're here.
So we're going to go to Bull Ridge.
Bull Ridge?
Yeah, Bull Ridge is probably the best city to get to.
We're going to...
We're going down, are we?
Wait, where are we going?
Where are we going?
What was the town again that you mentioned
that I was listening to?
Which town do you mean?
The one that we're...
Our end game.
Now that we've done with the heads and...
I can't remember if...
Because I didn't note it down where Grayson grew up.
So I can't remember if in an earlier podcast I've already said a different place.
Don't really think so.
Because it's one of the few things I haven't noticed.
I feel like I said something.
The only time maybe you would have said would be during Grayson.
I remember Grayson was talking about his past.
He's talking about the dog.
Yeah. And his past. He's talking about the dog. Yeah, I'm trying to remember, listening back,
if Grayson said anything about the city he grew up in.
If it is, and you say something now,
whatever we said before, now it's canon and I've got a retconned.
Tell you what, Grayson says,
at one point, earlier, I didn't tell you guys,
but I actually sent a letter off to my folks, and they're going to meet us in North Hallow.
Mama and Papa Grayson.
Or to my remaining family.
I haven't seen them in a long time.
And the brother.
It's been a long time.
That's sadder.
Is that where you want to settle down?
North Hallow? Yeah. No, but it's a where you want to settle down? North Halloway?
No, but it's a beautiful town.
Settle down?
What's this about settling down?
Getting married.
Yeah.
That's a bluff.
Settling down to blow Grace's head.
Gross.
All right.
Did I do bad?
I assume this was a private conversation
no, we didn't say that
nevermind
Casius is a little dubious
I mean I'm not mad
settle down, you know
in the biblical sense
with my wife
you can
I mean I don't mind if you guys
you think
you're a little...
I've clued on.
Leo, however, you buy that, they burn a lot.
You know this.
They're probably fucking, I get that.
Maybe one time they want to burn on land, who knows?
I don't know, whatever.
But, um...
Leo's been dry for a year.
I've been told there's a beautiful park in the center of town.
Okay.
It's outside and underneath the sun.
Oh, because we have to get married underneath the sun.
I know your religion.
Here's a little funny tidbit for all the viewers.
I didn't really think about it when I was creating gods.
On the human pantheon, the two head gods, Gnomes and Penia.
Penia is like
the sun god
and is depicted
as a sun
and Gnomes is depicted
as an old man
who's blind
and has like a thing
covering his face.
I didn't think about
like they're married
and she's the sun
and he's blind.
Oh he's blinded
by the sun.
Oh that is sweet.
That's beautiful.
Just a coincidence.
Anyway.
Alright.
Just a coincidence.
Don't read it.
So I guess we
when we come back to where do we go? To Bull Ridge. Yeah. So we guess we when we come back to
where do we go?
Bull Ridge.
Yeah.
So we go to Bull Ridge
and we'll take a cart
or horses
or dog sled.
Yeah.
And then we'll go to
you guys.
North Hallow.
Like Mailman
by rain,
hail or shine
you make your way forward
to the next time
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