D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott II #22 The Next Morning
Episode Date: July 23, 2016Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 2In which our heroes get drunk and high. We party with Greyson’s family, bump the pop blocker and lie to Monica. Cassius is going the mind control a puppy to keep it quiet..., Princess Ansley gets interrogated by Greyson’s mum and Leo smokes pipe weed with some kids. So join us as manage to get back to the tavern just in time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around the table trying to wrassle
a bear, but that's exactly what we're going to be doing today. Welcome to episode 47 of
D&D is for Nerds. In the red corner, we have Jackson Bailey playing Cassius Christie.
A ding ding.
In the blue corner, we have Ali Kathleen playing Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather.
Ding ding.
In the yellow corner, we have Joel Zammett playing Leo Shadow.
And in the middle, mediating as always, your DM, Adam's circumference feathers.
That's not even a thing.
Yes, it's not the name my parents gave me.
Previously on D&D is for Nerds.
Are we getting them anything?
Well, I had an idea.
Do you remember what kind of dog Grayson had as a child?
His brother is there and...
Does he look just like Grayson?
Like a younger version of Grayson.
I might try and get him in the sack after the wedding.
After I've had a couple.
Monica gives you like a weird look
and Ainsley, you probably have to explain that Cassius
is a girl.
Just subtle. I'd be like, you can't really tell because she doesn't
put flowers in her beard, but when she does
she scrubs out real nice.
You don't need to buy a wedding dress.
You're using my mum's. Ah, excuse me, what?
You're using my mom's.
What?
Oh, that's lovely.
Adam, I'd like to do Ainsley's hair.
This is where, by the way, we find out Adam can't roleplay weddings very well.
Yeah, I guess I'm sort of a farm folk.
You're like, ah!
Gold top hat, fucking cane.
We rejoin the party in North Hallow
making preparations
for the big day
as we're doing this
I want to kind of scout
is there anywhere
where I can actually
buy a puppy
yeah same
I was going to say
well you do pass through
the markets at some point
when Grayson's like
haggling for food and stuff
is the wedding tomorrow
is that a curiosity
you're not sure
you have yet to ask
well I'm asking you ask when is the wedding when is the wedding tomorrow? You're not sure. You have yet to ask. Well, I'm asking.
You ask?
When is the wedding?
As soon as we arrange everything.
Ah, fantastic.
Maybe give it a day after we've arranged everything.
I wasn't expecting it tomorrow.
If it was, I would have been shocked.
It probably won't be tomorrow.
We need to get a priest.
You need to find one when one's available.
Okay, cool.
You find a puppy when you're going through the thing.
It's like they're right there with you though
That's alright, we'll note it down for tomorrow
Yeah, I'm not going to buy one
I don't want to make it obvious
But I look and maybe even pat one
Okay
Because hey man, puppy bellies
That's Zamet's weakness, not Leo's
Zamet's like, oh puppy bellies
That is my weakness
Is that like a No, puppy bells. That is my wig.
Is that like a... No, it's not going to work.
I wanted to get like sunflowers and weave them into my beard somehow.
There's plenty of sunflowers.
Yeah, but if I weave...
A sunflower is big.
Like a single sunflower in my beard.
But I might at some point go collect flowers to weave them in my beard.
Actually, when you got into the room,
like Monica like showed you into the...
Like I said, this tavern isn't great looking.
It's a farmer's salary tavern.
But they somehow sprung for you and Grayson
to have your own room together.
And in the room, it's just filled with sunflowers.
Monica would have at some point mentioned,
like, you know sunflowers?
Like part of the wedding thing, yeah?
Yeah, I do, don't I, Adam?
Yes, you do.
Thank you.
Yes, I do.
You brought this earlier.
Good.
Oh, I wasn't sure you were aware of our customs.
We have the same religion.
Similar.
Sort of.
Help me, Adam.
I love Natura is more magic than religion
Ah yeah
But let's just hold back on the entanglement
As you walk up the aisle
Entanglement what?
I usually
I wish I had
I wish I had one little spell
The boss
Like a little
A little of my spell
Which was like
Make flowers bloom or something
So I could just be like, huh?
You need some prestidigitation.
I do, I do, but I don't have it.
So that first day passes.
You guys all convene down in the, it's like a big family get-together in the tavern itself.
They push a couple tables together.
Grayson's family consists of 20 people, cousins and extended family included.
Past his immediate family, it gets a bit rambunctious.
Like there's one uncle or something like that with a big red nose who looks like he enjoys a drink.
Awesome.
And like during the, they're having basically a party tonight.
During this party, you're like, you never learn his name, but he's name but Ainsley and Leo
you're like I think the silver
has a human relative
and there's like a bunch of younger cousins
like maybe around Sheila's age
love saying that name because I know it bothers you
it cuts me deep
I want to like stick over to Cassie's.
I found a place where they sell puppies.
Oh, fantastic.
Is the wedding tomorrow?
I don't know.
I don't think it's tomorrow.
We'll get it tomorrow.
I would have asked Monica, wouldn't I?
No, that's not going to happen.
She explains that this thing just happens when it's ready.
Okay, and I'll pass that on to...
If it's going to happen the day after, we might as well.
I can hide it.
All right.
I've got control animal.
I've got control animal. I can keep him. All right. I got control animal. I got control animal.
I can keep him calm.
Yes.
Can I plane control a puppy?
I'm just going to calm it down so I can keep it quiet.
I think you're dead, Mike.
I'll just hold it.
So if I use a lot of magic tricks, would everyone get scared?
A lot of people would.
Well, it depends.
Person to person is different.
Like a little magic trick.
Like dancing live.
Like maybe a lot of the younger people would probably be entranced by it
from like fairy tales and stuff like that.
But a lot of the like older people would get maybe a bit suspicious
and some in between.
Well, like with like Sheila and her friends,
like kind of, you know, like a children's entertainer.
Like I tell like a story.
I tell like, you know, us versing a dragon.
I'm using that word I can't pronounce.
Presti.
Presti.
Presti.
And be like, you know,
summoning a really crude
shitty dragon
and like, you know,
all this kind of stuff
and like, you know,
tagging adventures.
That kind of dumb stuff.
I'm enthralled.
I know, it's beautiful.
Monica sits next to you,
Ainsley,
and she's like,
oh.
Adam's like, I'm going to blow you up.
They're children.
I don't even need a role.
They're impressed.
They're like staring in wonderment at what you've done.
But you have to hide it every time an adult comes near by.
Yes.
Probably some of the kids are like, you know,
conspiratorially like, oh, you know.
They obviously get the idea that adults aren't supposed to know.
You're making their bloody ear.
And then I follow up with some magic tricks.
Just like actual card tricks.
Yeah.
Because like three kings.
Fuck, I love that trick.
Anyway.
You perform them well enough for a children to believe.
For a child.
For a children.
For a children to believe, yes child for a children for a children to
believe for a child to believe uh monica sits down next to you ainsley and just like uh you get the
subtle impression that she's interrogating not like to know about you she wants to know about
your travels oh yeah like your background where you came from how you met grayson as well and
stuff like that basically just everything that we've covered in these D&D games up until now.
I was over a lot.
Yeah, I would like to.
Don't talk about the sex in the boat.
Yeah.
I'm just going to talk about like.
Lots of boat sex.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Grayson, yeah, we have to jump back a lot.
Grayson would have totally been like, don't tell a little bone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I'm well aware of that.
Don't tell anyone in my family.
Also, Ainsley, don't tell Grayson or anyone else that you did this
to try and get out of paying him for mercy.
That's not a great beginning.
That's not a good beginning.
We'll just skip over that completely.
I would like to gloss over a lot.
Okay.
Is there anyone dancing?
Yeah, there's like a minstrel playing in a corner.
I want to just get rambunctious and dance my heart away.
It starts off with that uncle with the big red nose.
I'll dance with him.
He dances with you.
Yeah!
He's got to bend over to dance with you properly.
He leans in closely and says,
don't tell my wife, but you're the prettiest girl I've ever danced with.
Oh, beautiful!
Like a bit of a joke, he gives her the chuckle.
I blush and chuckle and dance along.
A bunch of the kids join you, like, after you've stopped doing, like,
card tricks they've sort of seen before.
So they're interested, but, like, dancing.
They get into the dancing.
There's a dancing dwarf out there.
Rusty comes out as well with, like, some chick he's trying to pick up.
Oh, you're missing out.
I try and muscle him.
I try and muscle him.
I try andsel in. I try mussel in.
Kind of dance with Rusty.
Oh, dance with Rusty.
Oh, okay.
I'm going to get in and I'm going to be like,
I know this dance.
Can I know this dance?
I'm super cut. Rusty,y like just very bluntly
Very Grayson-esque
No
Rusty's found his mark for tonight
He's not deviating
I slap him in the back
Good luck
Dance back into the crowd
You slap him in the back of the knee
Karate chop him in the back of the knee, maybe. Karate chop him in the back of the knee.
Are there pub games, like darts and stuff?
Yeah, there'd be a darts game going on.
Like two of the cousins, maybe teenagers,
are versing each other out.
Challenge them to a dart off.
You're so small.
I'm good with throwing shit.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
Some good throwing daggers.
Racial bonuses.
Would you throw daggers instead of...
Is that what they claim?
They're like, oh, we're going to order racial bonuses.
Cheating.
My ass kicked.
You do the worst.
You don't even hit the target.
I like to imagine you're like, pick me up, put me on a table.
They're like, nah.
You're like, I'll do worse if, nah, it's funnier this way.
You know what the funniest part is? I rolled a one, so I'm like, I'll do worse if... Ah, it's funnier this way. You know what the funniest part is?
I rolled a one, so I'm like, crit fail?
Tragedy strike.
And I did roll the confirm.
Ladies and gentlemen, but he did not confirm crit fail.
Stabs Grayson in the throat.
What would it have been?
Oh, let's just find out.
Suddenly becomes the red wedding.
You become entangled in your gear.
That's all right.
That would have just been humiliating. Even worse, though. It's not the red wedding. You become entangled in your gear. That's all right. That would have just been humiliating.
He's all right.
It's not the red wedding yet.
Or the purple one.
I'll just keep having darts.
That's my favourite.
Don't look at me like I know what he's talking about.
The purple wedding when Joffrey dies.
Hey!
Oh, yeah.
Spoilers.
That's right.
Nah, that was a good wedding.
Yeah, it was a good one.
Moving on.
I'll just keep playing darts with these cousins.
Yep.
Okay. They do another round. They're, like, laughing at one. Moving on. I'll just keep playing darts with these cousins. Yep. Okay.
They do another round.
They're like laughing at you.
Legit laughing.
They both hit the target.
They both hit the target.
You missed the board.
Awesome.
Okay, you do a lot better.
All three of you do pretty poorly, but you do the best.
That's a win for Leo.
Win for Leo.
That is, yeah, I'll spend that party.
I'll keep dancing, having a time.
I'll go over and chat to Ainsley occasionally, you know,
like just kind of gossip about the family.
I know.
How are you finding it?
Oh, Cassius.
It's good.
I think everyone's really lovely.
Everyone's really great.
I don't know about hen's nights, though.
Do they do that here?
I don't know.
If we have time.
You know of no such tradition.
Oh, all right.
Is there a box of nights?
You know of no such tradition.
We can get raucously drunk now.
Yes.
Let's go get ales, please.
Yeah, I'll ask for two ales from the bar
And we'll just drink the night away
Any of the other ladies drinking they would be
Probably sipping on like
Pimms
Pimms and lemonade
One pimms of lemonade please
I don't know what that was
One pimms of lemonade please
One pimms of lemonade please
Just a pimms of and lebedite.
Can you have a pibs, please?
Thank you.
Well, we'll drink ale.
I'll drink ale.
Like to get plastered or just drink?
I'm going to drink to get plastered.
And Ainsley?
I'm going to keep up to like every second one that she's having.
And Leo?
I'm not going to drink.
And Grayson? What's Grayson? every second one that she's having. And Leo. I'm not going to drink. I'm only occasionally working.
And Grayson.
What's Grayson?
Grayson's in a deep conversation with one of his cousins.
They seem to be chatting about something
maybe unpleasant. They've got dark
expressions on their faces.
That'll be fine. We'll figure it out.
Wander up to Grayson.
As you approach...
Would you overhear?
You overhear snippets.
They're talking about
one of their mutual
cousins, all of their relatives are mutual.
One of their relatives, like another cousin
who isn't here right now.
Something's wrong.
And then what do you do?
Do I, are they
wanting to be... They like stop when you get close
and they like turn away and like stop talking
Do they turn away from me?
Away from each other
Hey Grayson
Is there anything we do like before you get married
Do you want to do anything
We have this party we get all the arrangements done
That's it
I don't know I'm a halfling I don't know your human traditions
Not much else no
Alright then I've always loved the relationship you and Grayson have Look, I'm a halfling. I don't know your human traditions. Not much else, no.
All right, then.
I've always loved the relationship you and Grace will have.
It's like you super want to be his friend. I'm trying.
Fair enough.
No, we're not friends.
Is he secretly racist?
Maybe.
Also, you kidnapped his fiancee.
That's only, like, new information.
He did that before.
Hey, if I didn't kidnap her, you wouldn't have met.
That's true.
Good.
It was meant to be, though.
I say that.
Who says that?
Oh, lovely.
That's lovely.
You didn't hear it, Ainsley.
You can't get sentimental over it.
You're drinking with Cassie.
Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.
Okay, so I want to ask
is it like
drink down it
drink down it
drink down it
like
no
we're just kind of
quaffing
oh boy
that's not good
bye bye pop blocker
it's fine
listeners it's fine
if you want to know
about the pop blocker
it lives
it's okay
no it's just
we're just getting
we're just like having a good night.
So I'll just say, for my sake, in an hour,
how many standard drinks would you have?
Like three.
Yeah.
Three standard drinks in an hour?
Yeah.
And how many hours?
How long would this party go for?
It's going to go until like midnight.
Yeah, it's probably about four hours or so, probably.
I made that up. It's good, though. Yeah, it's probably about four hours or so, probably. I made that up.
It's good, though.
It's like eight o'clock now, yeah.
Am I allowed to stay in the same room
as Grayson tonight, or do I have to bunk with Cassius?
Because I reckon... Slumber
party! You have the same
room, but you'll be sleeping in separate
beds. Because
Grayson's family arranged the beds.
Old timey ways. I know know but that's what i was
thinking i was like wouldn't you separate it you got one for fucking one for sleep
good guys that was really a lot of dice for drinking i know
did i make you embarrass yourself in front of your family? Oh my god Ainsley you get plastered
You're only drinking every second drink
You still get pretty plastered
I'm banking on
You are also Cassius
So like just verging on that
Even like you can tell
You're like I drink anymore
I'm not going to remember
Awesome
I'll probably cut myself off around midnight
Yeah so yeah around
midnight uh every family starts getting up saying their goodbyes like anyone who has a kid picks up
this now sleeping children and goes up to their respective rooms um monica like claps her hands
together and says i'll see you two up to your room. Okay. As in me and Cassie's? Us two.
You and Grayson.
Sorry.
Why would you assume you and Cassie's?
Because I'm sitting here.
Next to her.
All right.
Yeah.
Let's go to bed.
Okay.
She sees you and Cassie.
She's like, she can tell you're drunk.
Yeah.
She's like got an arm around. She's's all right. She's got an arm around.
She's an old lady.
She's got an arm around you and is helping lead you up the stairs.
Grayson's had a few as well, but he's not nearly as drunk as anyone.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
All right.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
I like to imagine I'm alone.
No, the guy with the big red nose is still dancing on the dance floor.
Good.
With his wife, to be fair.
He's a bit old for me anyway.
Where'd Leo go?
And he's married.
Yeah, where'd I go?
Oh, Leo, what would you have done in the night?
Oh, I just kept playing darts.
Was there a pool?
Well, those two, no, those cousins actually would have gone out to like the,
not the harbour So the um
Park nearby
Oh I'm gonna
Have to do what?
You don't know
Oh no
You gonna go with them?
Yeah what's going on?
What are you guys doing?
I don't know
We're gonna go out
I don't know
Do what?
We're teenagers
We're gonna go do
Teenager stuff
They say
You can have a night
Of rambunctious
graffitiing
and doing
no I'm into it
what happens Adam tell me
okay you go out
first thing you do is like
one of
the cousins is like the son of the guy
with the big red nose
and you guys like go immediately
behind this tavern he takes out he's brought a bag with him he takes out a couple pipes and some
weed some dnd weed get your pipe he's like i took this from my dad
everyone doesn't like me at this place.
The cousin who took it
from the son of the big red-nosed guy,
he's like, I don't get it.
It just doesn't affect him.
The other one,
it's just like, oh yeah.
And then you, Leo.
It hits you and you're like, yeah.
Alright.
This isn't like weed.
This is like medieval weed, if that makes sense.
Hemp.
You just got some hemp rope and lit that up.
No, you like colors start mixing together and stuff.
Alright, I cast Dancing Lights to see what happens.
Well, the two cousins freak out.
One of them's like, whoa, bad trip.
The other one's like, magic!
Yes, magic, where'd it come from?
Oh my god, where did we come from?
Where did weed come from?
You take a couple more puffs,
and then you guys just have a nice night
Out on the town in the park
You're like this is the best
Do we meet up with other
Other rowdy teens
No
No graffiti the town wall
Town wall
I think at midnight I'm going to go and try and find Leo
If he's not around
He's not in the tavern and you don't see him around the immediate area
oh no I don't even remember
if anyone told me where I was sleeping
I'm going to go outside
Leo!
he's shouting to the night
do I hear him? no
you're clear of the tavern now
maybe clear of North Hallow
did anybody tell me I had a bed? I'll go back in and just the tavern now. Maybe clear of North Hallow. Did anybody
tell me I had a bed?
I'll go back in and just sleep in the tavern.
There's the
bartender still there.
Can I...
The common rooms have been rented out entirely
by the family. Which way?
Just up the stairs. It's the first level.
Thank you. Thank you.
I give him a gold coin.
He takes it. He's going to take that gold coin.
You have a good night.
You're lovely.
I am.
Yeah, alright.
I walk upstairs to bed.
Okay.
What a night.
So, the next morning, Leo,
you managed to get back to the tavern
And in bed
You like had a really
Sort of
You know like in the cartoons
Where they have the trip and it's like
Some Beatles song starts playing
And it's like all the colours passing them
That's the night you had
You had elephants on parade
You had elephants on parade Except. You had elephants on parade.
Except that is fucked up and scared me as a child.
Same, I was terrified of that whole sequence.
That's not booze.
That's not how booze works.
What was happening to Dumbo?
Ainsley, once you get to bed, Grayson goes into his one and you just fall asleep, yeah?
If I try and make the moves, does he just kind of go,
nah, go to sleep?
How are you making your moves?
Like, my usual standard technique.
Demand.
I know his butt is, he sleeps, like, face up,
so you can't pinch his butt.
Maybe I just, like, suggest it to him.
Grayson's learned.
I just suggest it to him, just be like, you know, you wanna?
Not like that, though.
That's super bogan.
You wanna?
Hey, fancy a shack?
Yeah, no, no.
You're drunk.
Maybe you do say it like that.
I know, that's true.
Grayson, come here.
Come here.
Come on.
Come here, Grayson.
I got a prize for you.
Maybe like in the beginning, you're like, Grayson, I got something to show you.
And you fall, because he's had a couple as well. You fall them in the beginning.'re like Grayson I got something to show you And you fall Because he's had a couple as well
You fall him in the beginning
You do the horizontal tango
Take that Monica
I love this game
Shut up
Highs all over
Highs
So the next morning
Monica like opens the door to your room As like, opens the door to your room.
As, like, you hear the door, like, unlocking and opening,
you just hear Grayson, I don't know,
maybe you're spooning or something like that.
Grayson's just in your ear.
Fuck!
And he rolls out of bed.
It's like being a teenager again.
And you're like, he hits the ground.
Monica opens the door.
Oh, Ainsinsley you're here
Where's Grayson
I think he went to breakfast
I think he went to breakfast
I'm not sure
He's showering
Oh okay I'll check downstairs then
Yes
It is like being a teenager
Over again
From the floor Grayson says
I help him up.
I fell on my wounds.
They're everywhere.
His whole body
is one giant wound.
Grayson's still
a little loopy
from last night.
That's good.
I like it.
You think,
no one really noticed,
but he took a puff.
Just a sneaky one
out the back with his guts. Yeah sneaky one out the back with you guys.
Not out the back with the kids.
Before the pipe weed was stolen, he took a puff.
Good on him.
Awesome.
Loosen up, Gracie.
He only had a small gathering of elephants.
Yeah.
You're in the common room.
Leo, sorry.
You're in the common room.
You're probably snuggled up next to one of the cousins.
Adorable. Just like both of you are... Well, you, snuggled up next to one of the cousins. Adorable.
Just, like, both of you are...
Well, he's...
You're not anymore, but he's snoring pretty heavily.
You have your clothes on, so don't worry.
That's cool.
I didn't think I did.
Hey, Leon was worried.
Hang it on, Josh.
It's D&D.
What else?
It's like, oh, God.
All right.
It's like, put my mouth, like, hand over his mouth.
Please shut the fuck up.
Will you stop snoring?
He, like, rolls over. I'm just going to get up you stop snoring uh he like rolls over
I'm just gonna get up
stop snoring though
I'm just gonna get up
and
what's the
D&D equivalent of a shower
it's probably a bath
I don't know
go throw yourself
in the river
I'm gonna do that
wake up
it's like one of those
trails for horses
out the front
stick your head in that
yeah
there's no bath
this is not that kind
of establishment
that's a good
that's a good like hangover cure shoving your head in a horse trough there's no bath. This is not that kind of establishment. That's a good hangover cure, shoving your head in a horse trunk.
There's a public bath that you can go to.
I'm going to do that.
Okay.
I smell of booze and D&D weed.
Pipe weed.
Pipe weed.
It is like being a teenager all over again.
I need to get this stench off me.
Is there like Febreze?
There's no D&D Febreze.
Oh, post-digitation. Oh, yes. I'm going to do D in Febreze. Oh, Prestidigitation.
Oh, yes.
On the soil's clothes.
Oh, it does too.
I'm going to do that.
That's awesome.
Yeah, that.
You fix your clothes up with Prestidigitation.
Clean myself with that.
Do I feel right as rain?
Clothes are cleaner.
You're maybe a little bit cleaner.
Do I feel right as rain?
Yeah, you could go to the public baths if you want.
All right, I'll do that then.
How hungover am I when I wake up out of curiosity?
You've got a pretty head-splitting headache,
but that's normal.
That's just like an average wake-up for you.
I'll roll out of bed.
Oh, hang on.
As I wake up, I have a moment of panic where I'm like,
did I get in a fight last night?
Grayson will be so mad.
I'd like to just casually look down at my armor
to make sure there's no blood on it.
Also that, did I stab a cousin?
For the first time in your life, your armor is blood free.
Oh my gosh.
Did I accidentally stab a cousin?
I should also have that worry.
That wake up, you're like...
For the first time in your life...
Oh, actually, you never cleaned your daggers.
They're still pretty dirty.
But not fresh blood.
That's the thing
I'm gonna go searching
for Leo
because we need to
buy a puppy
it's a big common room
what a night
there's like a bunch
of the cousins
and stuff here
it's not a big
there's maybe like
10 beds in total
and the majority of them
are taken up by cousins
I'm gonna go to
the bathhouse
first
alright
I'm gonna do that
and then I'm gonna
go to puppy
I'll meet you at the front.
You're not gonna get clean? I feel clean.
My armor's shiny.
That's a win.
Do you wanna go to...
I heavily suggest
maybe you wanna go also to the
baths, Cassius.
Fine.
I'll come along to the baths with you, Leo.
Alright. I also cast
prestidigitation on his armor.
It's already clean. Her armor.
It's looking delightful. Let's go to the baths.
Okay, we'll go to the baths. Baths,
puppy, flowers for my beard.
Let's get your hair done. Yes.
Come back.
As he's getting up and putting his pants
on, I guess, he says to you,
so we really only need...
Do you want to wait much longer?
We really only need this more day of preparation.
We could go tomorrow if we wanted to.
Yeah, that sounds fine.
Still need a cleric, though.
Let's go.
I've spoken, and they have an acolyte who could help,
or we could get a proper...
I don't know what that is, Adam.
An acolyte is like just someone who works in the priesthood
but isn't himself a priest.
So a priest...
Apprentice.
Yeah, like an apprentice to a priest.
Whatever makes you feel better.
Like I'm not fast, whatever's easier.
My mum's probably going to want an actual priest.
Let's go find an actual priest.
Sorry, I don't know if I was talking as Grayson or Adam just now.
A little bit of a joke.
A little bit of a joke. A little bit of a joke.
A little bit.
It's actually very serious, guys.
We'll go find a priest.
Talk to your mother about priests today.
That's what that sounded like.
Like, we have a lot of fun here on D&D, but priests are no joke.
Let's go find a priest, then.
Okay.
Together?
Oh, yeah, why not?
Yeah, well, why not?
Yeah, well, who fucking knows what Leo and Cassie's doing,
and I don't know most of your family, so let's just chip off.
Okay.
Yep.
Grayson looks out the window, says, I reckon we could just climb down, avoid them entirely.
Oh, fuck yeah.
No, I'm all for it.
It is like being a teenager. Oh, fuck yeah. No, I'm all for it. It is like being a teenager.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Grayson opens the window and he's like,
my mum's going to be a bit mad.
I just say, I was like, look, I don't mind avoiding them.
I don't mind seeing them.
It's going to be funny as hell if we climb down.
But if you think that it'll be easier on your mum.
Odds or evens?
Evens. Evens to evens? Evens.
Evens to evens.
Let's do it.
Yeah!
One last sneaky adventure.
And he, like, gives you a hand to help you out.
You're, like, walking across the roof.
There's, like, a balcony.
Sorry, not a balcony.
A, like, veranda that covers the front part of the tavern.
Grayson, like, looks as far as he dares over it to see if there's any of his family, like, in the immediate area out the front part of the tavern. Grayson looks as far as he dares over it
to see if there's any of his family
in the immediate area out the front.
And he's like, nah.
Hang on.
He jumps off
and you hear a whining sound.
As he attempts to jump onto a horse.
Oh my god.
He nails it.
Grayson, you absolute champ.
The horse is tied there and it's not his though, so he
gets off. And then he's like
jump. Yeah, I'll catch you.
You said, oh,
he's catching you. I know, I'm so excited.
You said he puts on his pants, so this whole time I've been
imagining him shirtless.
You never said he puts on a shirt. And then when you were like
he jumps on a horse, I imagine him laying in his hair,
it's like, flowing in the wind.
Yeah, Zardo.
Yeah, what's the climate like?
Could he be shirtless?
Probably not.
It's kind of cold.
They're never cold.
Rats.
He catches you, all right.
Oh, good.
Does he drop my head on the ground or anything?
As he lets you down, he, like, bobs down,
and he's like, we've got to go now.
Okay, all right, let's go.
You hustle off with him.
What sneaky adventure you're having.
Sneaky adventure to go talk to a priest.
Not like being a teenager.
Don't you guys remember sneaking out late at night so you can talk to the priest?
A little bit.
Once, yes.
You guys are going to the public bath?
Yes.
Yep, okay.
Just a scrub up.
Just a scrub up.
It'll cost you...
Oh, well, that depends.
Do you want to go into, like, the common baths
or they have private baths?
I would like a private bath.
Yeah, spoil yourself, ladies.
The lady who's, like, running the place,
this stone old lady is, like,
but separate private baths, yes?
Oh, yeah, because, yeah.
I want to, I'll have a common room, I'm fine.
All right.
Okay, five copper for you then.
And a silver for...
Actually, fuck it.
I don't do that math.
Yeah, I'll take a silver.
I'll give her a gold.
But separate ones, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not with that.
I'm not with that. I'm not with that I'm not with that
I'm not with that
I'm not with that either
I'm not with that
we're not
you're not sure exactly
like
if it's
interracial
or like
just a man and woman
or like
if she thinks you're a guy
and it's two guys
but she disapproves
of this somehow
of you two
bathing together
somehow
she's like in some capacity that's wrong we're know, we're just... She's like, in some capacity, that's wrong.
We're just friends.
We're just buddies.
It's all right.
Just bath buddies.
You feel the need to explain to her?
Just to clarify, she's giving us looks.
Okay, you guys go have your bath.
Good.
That takes you, I don't know, well, how long do you want to take in the bath?
I'll be quick.
They offer massage here as well.
Yes, that too.
No, no, no.
Oh, fuck it.
That's a bit more, though.
How much more?
Well, how long do you want for the massage?
Oh, whatever.
How much?
An hour?
I don't know.
Like, maybe for half an hour, it's another silver.
Do it.
Nah, go nuts, Leo.
Yeah, I'm going to...
Like, go nuts, Leo.
Go nuts, damn it.
I know how you feel about massages.
Wait.
Three.
Good?
I was there an hour, so I'll spend two. Three hours? No, an hour, so I'll spend two silver. Okay, cool. Done. I know how you feel about massages wait three good three hours
no an hour
so I'll spend two syllables
okay cool
and Cassius does not
I'm not getting a massage
but I'm gonna like
wash my beard
and my hair
I'm gonna get super nice
when you get out
the water's fresh
oh good
you needed a good scrub
I haven't been clean in years
you won't be clean again for years I'm that pale. I haven't been clean in years. You won't be clean again for years.
I'm that pale.
I won't be clean until the next wedding.
You'll see a tattoo.
Oh, I did get that.
That's fun.
Who the hell is Daniel?
What the fuck is that about?
I'm as canon.
I have a Daniel tattoo on my arm.
I don't remember this guy at all Is that from Mara?
No
His name was, I wrote it down, Ogden or something
I don't know, I didn't remember
It wasn't Daniel
It'd be super amazing if I had Daniel on my other arm
What?
What?
Who is Daniel?
Maybe we'll find out next time on The Indies for Nerds.
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