D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott II #22 The Next Morning

Episode Date: July 23, 2016

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 2In which our heroes get drunk and high. We party with Greyson’s family, bump the pop blocker and lie to Monica. Cassius is going the mind control a puppy to keep it quiet..., Princess Ansley gets interrogated by Greyson’s mum and Leo smokes pipe weed with some kids. So join us as manage to get back to the tavern just in time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:50 the show notes below. Now, enjoy the show. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around the table trying to wrassle a bear, but that's exactly what we're going to be doing today. Welcome to episode 47 of D&D is for Nerds. In the red corner, we have Jackson Bailey playing Cassius Christie. A ding ding. In the blue corner, we have Ali Kathleen playing Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. Ding ding. In the yellow corner, we have Joel Zammett playing Leo Shadow.
Starting point is 00:01:20 And in the middle, mediating as always, your DM, Adam's circumference feathers. That's not even a thing. Yes, it's not the name my parents gave me. Previously on D&D is for Nerds. Are we getting them anything? Well, I had an idea. Do you remember what kind of dog Grayson had as a child? His brother is there and...
Starting point is 00:01:43 Does he look just like Grayson? Like a younger version of Grayson. I might try and get him in the sack after the wedding. After I've had a couple. Monica gives you like a weird look and Ainsley, you probably have to explain that Cassius is a girl. Just subtle. I'd be like, you can't really tell because she doesn't
Starting point is 00:01:59 put flowers in her beard, but when she does she scrubs out real nice. You don't need to buy a wedding dress. You're using my mum's. Ah, excuse me, what? You're using my mom's. What? Oh, that's lovely. Adam, I'd like to do Ainsley's hair.
Starting point is 00:02:14 This is where, by the way, we find out Adam can't roleplay weddings very well. Yeah, I guess I'm sort of a farm folk. You're like, ah! Gold top hat, fucking cane. We rejoin the party in North Hallow making preparations for the big day as we're doing this
Starting point is 00:02:31 I want to kind of scout is there anywhere where I can actually buy a puppy yeah same I was going to say well you do pass through the markets at some point
Starting point is 00:02:36 when Grayson's like haggling for food and stuff is the wedding tomorrow is that a curiosity you're not sure you have yet to ask well I'm asking you ask when is the wedding when is the wedding tomorrow? You're not sure. You have yet to ask. Well, I'm asking. You ask?
Starting point is 00:02:47 When is the wedding? As soon as we arrange everything. Ah, fantastic. Maybe give it a day after we've arranged everything. I wasn't expecting it tomorrow. If it was, I would have been shocked. It probably won't be tomorrow. We need to get a priest.
Starting point is 00:02:58 You need to find one when one's available. Okay, cool. You find a puppy when you're going through the thing. It's like they're right there with you though That's alright, we'll note it down for tomorrow Yeah, I'm not going to buy one I don't want to make it obvious But I look and maybe even pat one
Starting point is 00:03:12 Okay Because hey man, puppy bellies That's Zamet's weakness, not Leo's Zamet's like, oh puppy bellies That is my weakness Is that like a No, puppy bells. That is my wig. Is that like a... No, it's not going to work. I wanted to get like sunflowers and weave them into my beard somehow.
Starting point is 00:03:31 There's plenty of sunflowers. Yeah, but if I weave... A sunflower is big. Like a single sunflower in my beard. But I might at some point go collect flowers to weave them in my beard. Actually, when you got into the room, like Monica like showed you into the... Like I said, this tavern isn't great looking.
Starting point is 00:03:49 It's a farmer's salary tavern. But they somehow sprung for you and Grayson to have your own room together. And in the room, it's just filled with sunflowers. Monica would have at some point mentioned, like, you know sunflowers? Like part of the wedding thing, yeah? Yeah, I do, don't I, Adam?
Starting point is 00:04:11 Yes, you do. Thank you. Yes, I do. You brought this earlier. Good. Oh, I wasn't sure you were aware of our customs. We have the same religion. Similar.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Sort of. Help me, Adam. I love Natura is more magic than religion Ah yeah But let's just hold back on the entanglement As you walk up the aisle Entanglement what? I usually
Starting point is 00:04:34 I wish I had I wish I had one little spell The boss Like a little A little of my spell Which was like Make flowers bloom or something So I could just be like, huh?
Starting point is 00:04:46 You need some prestidigitation. I do, I do, but I don't have it. So that first day passes. You guys all convene down in the, it's like a big family get-together in the tavern itself. They push a couple tables together. Grayson's family consists of 20 people, cousins and extended family included. Past his immediate family, it gets a bit rambunctious. Like there's one uncle or something like that with a big red nose who looks like he enjoys a drink.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Awesome. And like during the, they're having basically a party tonight. During this party, you're like, you never learn his name, but he's name but Ainsley and Leo you're like I think the silver has a human relative and there's like a bunch of younger cousins like maybe around Sheila's age love saying that name because I know it bothers you
Starting point is 00:05:39 it cuts me deep I want to like stick over to Cassie's. I found a place where they sell puppies. Oh, fantastic. Is the wedding tomorrow? I don't know. I don't think it's tomorrow. We'll get it tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:05:53 I would have asked Monica, wouldn't I? No, that's not going to happen. She explains that this thing just happens when it's ready. Okay, and I'll pass that on to... If it's going to happen the day after, we might as well. I can hide it. All right. I've got control animal.
Starting point is 00:06:04 I've got control animal. I can keep him. All right. I got control animal. I got control animal. I can keep him calm. Yes. Can I plane control a puppy? I'm just going to calm it down so I can keep it quiet. I think you're dead, Mike. I'll just hold it. So if I use a lot of magic tricks, would everyone get scared?
Starting point is 00:06:20 A lot of people would. Well, it depends. Person to person is different. Like a little magic trick. Like dancing live. Like maybe a lot of the younger people would probably be entranced by it from like fairy tales and stuff like that. But a lot of the like older people would get maybe a bit suspicious
Starting point is 00:06:36 and some in between. Well, like with like Sheila and her friends, like kind of, you know, like a children's entertainer. Like I tell like a story. I tell like, you know, us versing a dragon. I'm using that word I can't pronounce. Presti. Presti.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Presti. And be like, you know, summoning a really crude shitty dragon and like, you know, all this kind of stuff and like, you know, tagging adventures.
Starting point is 00:06:56 That kind of dumb stuff. I'm enthralled. I know, it's beautiful. Monica sits next to you, Ainsley, and she's like, oh. Adam's like, I'm going to blow you up.
Starting point is 00:07:06 They're children. I don't even need a role. They're impressed. They're like staring in wonderment at what you've done. But you have to hide it every time an adult comes near by. Yes. Probably some of the kids are like, you know, conspiratorially like, oh, you know.
Starting point is 00:07:24 They obviously get the idea that adults aren't supposed to know. You're making their bloody ear. And then I follow up with some magic tricks. Just like actual card tricks. Yeah. Because like three kings. Fuck, I love that trick. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:07:39 You perform them well enough for a children to believe. For a child. For a children. For a children to believe, yes child for a children for a children to believe for a child to believe uh monica sits down next to you ainsley and just like uh you get the subtle impression that she's interrogating not like to know about you she wants to know about your travels oh yeah like your background where you came from how you met grayson as well and stuff like that basically just everything that we've covered in these D&D games up until now.
Starting point is 00:08:06 I was over a lot. Yeah, I would like to. Don't talk about the sex in the boat. Yeah. I'm just going to talk about like. Lots of boat sex. Oh, I'm sorry. Grayson, yeah, we have to jump back a lot.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Grayson would have totally been like, don't tell a little bone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm well aware of that. Don't tell anyone in my family. Also, Ainsley, don't tell Grayson or anyone else that you did this to try and get out of paying him for mercy. That's not a great beginning. That's not a good beginning.
Starting point is 00:08:32 We'll just skip over that completely. I would like to gloss over a lot. Okay. Is there anyone dancing? Yeah, there's like a minstrel playing in a corner. I want to just get rambunctious and dance my heart away. It starts off with that uncle with the big red nose. I'll dance with him.
Starting point is 00:08:48 He dances with you. Yeah! He's got to bend over to dance with you properly. He leans in closely and says, don't tell my wife, but you're the prettiest girl I've ever danced with. Oh, beautiful! Like a bit of a joke, he gives her the chuckle. I blush and chuckle and dance along.
Starting point is 00:09:08 A bunch of the kids join you, like, after you've stopped doing, like, card tricks they've sort of seen before. So they're interested, but, like, dancing. They get into the dancing. There's a dancing dwarf out there. Rusty comes out as well with, like, some chick he's trying to pick up. Oh, you're missing out. I try and muscle him.
Starting point is 00:09:24 I try and muscle him. I try andsel in. I try mussel in. Kind of dance with Rusty. Oh, dance with Rusty. Oh, okay. I'm going to get in and I'm going to be like, I know this dance. Can I know this dance?
Starting point is 00:09:46 I'm super cut. Rusty,y like just very bluntly Very Grayson-esque No Rusty's found his mark for tonight He's not deviating I slap him in the back Good luck Dance back into the crowd
Starting point is 00:10:00 You slap him in the back of the knee Karate chop him in the back of the knee, maybe. Karate chop him in the back of the knee. Are there pub games, like darts and stuff? Yeah, there'd be a darts game going on. Like two of the cousins, maybe teenagers, are versing each other out. Challenge them to a dart off. You're so small.
Starting point is 00:10:19 I'm good with throwing shit. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Some good throwing daggers. Racial bonuses. Would you throw daggers instead of... Is that what they claim? They're like, oh, we're going to order racial bonuses.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Cheating. My ass kicked. You do the worst. You don't even hit the target. I like to imagine you're like, pick me up, put me on a table. They're like, nah. You're like, I'll do worse if, nah, it's funnier this way. You know what the funniest part is? I rolled a one, so I'm like, I'll do worse if... Ah, it's funnier this way. You know what the funniest part is?
Starting point is 00:10:45 I rolled a one, so I'm like, crit fail? Tragedy strike. And I did roll the confirm. Ladies and gentlemen, but he did not confirm crit fail. Stabs Grayson in the throat. What would it have been? Oh, let's just find out. Suddenly becomes the red wedding.
Starting point is 00:11:01 You become entangled in your gear. That's all right. That would have just been humiliating. Even worse, though. It's not the red wedding. You become entangled in your gear. That's all right. That would have just been humiliating. He's all right. It's not the red wedding yet. Or the purple one. I'll just keep having darts. That's my favourite.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Don't look at me like I know what he's talking about. The purple wedding when Joffrey dies. Hey! Oh, yeah. Spoilers. That's right. Nah, that was a good wedding. Yeah, it was a good one.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Moving on. I'll just keep playing darts with these cousins. Yep. Okay. They do another round. They're, like, laughing at one. Moving on. I'll just keep playing darts with these cousins. Yep. Okay. They do another round. They're like laughing at you. Legit laughing. They both hit the target.
Starting point is 00:11:30 They both hit the target. You missed the board. Awesome. Okay, you do a lot better. All three of you do pretty poorly, but you do the best. That's a win for Leo. Win for Leo. That is, yeah, I'll spend that party.
Starting point is 00:11:47 I'll keep dancing, having a time. I'll go over and chat to Ainsley occasionally, you know, like just kind of gossip about the family. I know. How are you finding it? Oh, Cassius. It's good. I think everyone's really lovely.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Everyone's really great. I don't know about hen's nights, though. Do they do that here? I don't know. If we have time. You know of no such tradition. Oh, all right. Is there a box of nights?
Starting point is 00:12:15 You know of no such tradition. We can get raucously drunk now. Yes. Let's go get ales, please. Yeah, I'll ask for two ales from the bar And we'll just drink the night away Any of the other ladies drinking they would be Probably sipping on like
Starting point is 00:12:30 Pimms Pimms and lemonade One pimms of lemonade please I don't know what that was One pimms of lemonade please One pimms of lemonade please Just a pimms of and lebedite. Can you have a pibs, please?
Starting point is 00:12:48 Thank you. Well, we'll drink ale. I'll drink ale. Like to get plastered or just drink? I'm going to drink to get plastered. And Ainsley? I'm going to keep up to like every second one that she's having. And Leo?
Starting point is 00:13:03 I'm not going to drink. And Grayson? What's Grayson? every second one that she's having. And Leo. I'm not going to drink. I'm only occasionally working. And Grayson. What's Grayson? Grayson's in a deep conversation with one of his cousins. They seem to be chatting about something maybe unpleasant. They've got dark expressions on their faces.
Starting point is 00:13:16 That'll be fine. We'll figure it out. Wander up to Grayson. As you approach... Would you overhear? You overhear snippets. They're talking about one of their mutual cousins, all of their relatives are mutual.
Starting point is 00:13:32 One of their relatives, like another cousin who isn't here right now. Something's wrong. And then what do you do? Do I, are they wanting to be... They like stop when you get close and they like turn away and like stop talking Do they turn away from me?
Starting point is 00:13:48 Away from each other Hey Grayson Is there anything we do like before you get married Do you want to do anything We have this party we get all the arrangements done That's it I don't know I'm a halfling I don't know your human traditions Not much else no
Starting point is 00:14:04 Alright then I've always loved the relationship you and Grayson have Look, I'm a halfling. I don't know your human traditions. Not much else, no. All right, then. I've always loved the relationship you and Grace will have. It's like you super want to be his friend. I'm trying. Fair enough. No, we're not friends. Is he secretly racist? Maybe.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Also, you kidnapped his fiancee. That's only, like, new information. He did that before. Hey, if I didn't kidnap her, you wouldn't have met. That's true. Good. It was meant to be, though. I say that.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Who says that? Oh, lovely. That's lovely. You didn't hear it, Ainsley. You can't get sentimental over it. You're drinking with Cassie. Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink. Okay, so I want to ask
Starting point is 00:14:47 is it like drink down it drink down it drink down it like no we're just kind of quaffing
Starting point is 00:14:53 oh boy that's not good bye bye pop blocker it's fine listeners it's fine if you want to know about the pop blocker it lives
Starting point is 00:15:03 it's okay no it's just we're just getting we're just like having a good night. So I'll just say, for my sake, in an hour, how many standard drinks would you have? Like three. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Three standard drinks in an hour? Yeah. And how many hours? How long would this party go for? It's going to go until like midnight. Yeah, it's probably about four hours or so, probably. I made that up. It's good, though. Yeah, it's probably about four hours or so, probably. I made that up. It's good, though.
Starting point is 00:15:28 It's like eight o'clock now, yeah. Am I allowed to stay in the same room as Grayson tonight, or do I have to bunk with Cassius? Because I reckon... Slumber party! You have the same room, but you'll be sleeping in separate beds. Because Grayson's family arranged the beds.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Old timey ways. I know know but that's what i was thinking i was like wouldn't you separate it you got one for fucking one for sleep good guys that was really a lot of dice for drinking i know did i make you embarrass yourself in front of your family? Oh my god Ainsley you get plastered You're only drinking every second drink You still get pretty plastered I'm banking on You are also Cassius
Starting point is 00:16:13 So like just verging on that Even like you can tell You're like I drink anymore I'm not going to remember Awesome I'll probably cut myself off around midnight Yeah so yeah around midnight uh every family starts getting up saying their goodbyes like anyone who has a kid picks up
Starting point is 00:16:32 this now sleeping children and goes up to their respective rooms um monica like claps her hands together and says i'll see you two up to your room. Okay. As in me and Cassie's? Us two. You and Grayson. Sorry. Why would you assume you and Cassie's? Because I'm sitting here. Next to her. All right.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Yeah. Let's go to bed. Okay. She sees you and Cassie. She's like, she can tell you're drunk. Yeah. She's like got an arm around. She's's all right. She's got an arm around. She's an old lady.
Starting point is 00:17:06 She's got an arm around you and is helping lead you up the stairs. Grayson's had a few as well, but he's not nearly as drunk as anyone. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. All right. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. I like to imagine I'm alone. No, the guy with the big red nose is still dancing on the dance floor. Good.
Starting point is 00:17:27 With his wife, to be fair. He's a bit old for me anyway. Where'd Leo go? And he's married. Yeah, where'd I go? Oh, Leo, what would you have done in the night? Oh, I just kept playing darts. Was there a pool?
Starting point is 00:17:39 Well, those two, no, those cousins actually would have gone out to like the, not the harbour So the um Park nearby Oh I'm gonna Have to do what? You don't know Oh no You gonna go with them?
Starting point is 00:17:53 Yeah what's going on? What are you guys doing? I don't know We're gonna go out I don't know Do what? We're teenagers We're gonna go do
Starting point is 00:17:59 Teenager stuff They say You can have a night Of rambunctious graffitiing and doing no I'm into it what happens Adam tell me
Starting point is 00:18:13 okay you go out first thing you do is like one of the cousins is like the son of the guy with the big red nose and you guys like go immediately behind this tavern he takes out he's brought a bag with him he takes out a couple pipes and some weed some dnd weed get your pipe he's like i took this from my dad
Starting point is 00:18:37 everyone doesn't like me at this place. The cousin who took it from the son of the big red-nosed guy, he's like, I don't get it. It just doesn't affect him. The other one, it's just like, oh yeah. And then you, Leo.
Starting point is 00:19:00 It hits you and you're like, yeah. Alright. This isn't like weed. This is like medieval weed, if that makes sense. Hemp. You just got some hemp rope and lit that up. No, you like colors start mixing together and stuff. Alright, I cast Dancing Lights to see what happens.
Starting point is 00:19:23 Well, the two cousins freak out. One of them's like, whoa, bad trip. The other one's like, magic! Yes, magic, where'd it come from? Oh my god, where did we come from? Where did weed come from? You take a couple more puffs, and then you guys just have a nice night
Starting point is 00:19:47 Out on the town in the park You're like this is the best Do we meet up with other Other rowdy teens No No graffiti the town wall Town wall I think at midnight I'm going to go and try and find Leo
Starting point is 00:20:03 If he's not around He's not in the tavern and you don't see him around the immediate area oh no I don't even remember if anyone told me where I was sleeping I'm going to go outside Leo! he's shouting to the night do I hear him? no
Starting point is 00:20:17 you're clear of the tavern now maybe clear of North Hallow did anybody tell me I had a bed? I'll go back in and just the tavern now. Maybe clear of North Hallow. Did anybody tell me I had a bed? I'll go back in and just sleep in the tavern. There's the bartender still there. Can I...
Starting point is 00:20:35 The common rooms have been rented out entirely by the family. Which way? Just up the stairs. It's the first level. Thank you. Thank you. I give him a gold coin. He takes it. He's going to take that gold coin. You have a good night. You're lovely.
Starting point is 00:20:52 I am. Yeah, alright. I walk upstairs to bed. Okay. What a night. So, the next morning, Leo, you managed to get back to the tavern And in bed
Starting point is 00:21:07 You like had a really Sort of You know like in the cartoons Where they have the trip and it's like Some Beatles song starts playing And it's like all the colours passing them That's the night you had You had elephants on parade
Starting point is 00:21:22 You had elephants on parade Except. You had elephants on parade. Except that is fucked up and scared me as a child. Same, I was terrified of that whole sequence. That's not booze. That's not how booze works. What was happening to Dumbo? Ainsley, once you get to bed, Grayson goes into his one and you just fall asleep, yeah? If I try and make the moves, does he just kind of go,
Starting point is 00:21:46 nah, go to sleep? How are you making your moves? Like, my usual standard technique. Demand. I know his butt is, he sleeps, like, face up, so you can't pinch his butt. Maybe I just, like, suggest it to him. Grayson's learned.
Starting point is 00:22:00 I just suggest it to him, just be like, you know, you wanna? Not like that, though. That's super bogan. You wanna? Hey, fancy a shack? Yeah, no, no. You're drunk. Maybe you do say it like that.
Starting point is 00:22:14 I know, that's true. Grayson, come here. Come here. Come on. Come here, Grayson. I got a prize for you. Maybe like in the beginning, you're like, Grayson, I got something to show you. And you fall, because he's had a couple as well. You fall them in the beginning.'re like Grayson I got something to show you And you fall Because he's had a couple as well
Starting point is 00:22:26 You fall him in the beginning You do the horizontal tango Take that Monica I love this game Shut up Highs all over Highs So the next morning
Starting point is 00:22:43 Monica like opens the door to your room As like, opens the door to your room. As, like, you hear the door, like, unlocking and opening, you just hear Grayson, I don't know, maybe you're spooning or something like that. Grayson's just in your ear. Fuck! And he rolls out of bed. It's like being a teenager again.
Starting point is 00:22:58 And you're like, he hits the ground. Monica opens the door. Oh, Ainsinsley you're here Where's Grayson I think he went to breakfast I think he went to breakfast I'm not sure He's showering
Starting point is 00:23:15 Oh okay I'll check downstairs then Yes It is like being a teenager Over again From the floor Grayson says I help him up. I fell on my wounds. They're everywhere.
Starting point is 00:23:31 His whole body is one giant wound. Grayson's still a little loopy from last night. That's good. I like it. You think,
Starting point is 00:23:39 no one really noticed, but he took a puff. Just a sneaky one out the back with his guts. Yeah sneaky one out the back with you guys. Not out the back with the kids. Before the pipe weed was stolen, he took a puff. Good on him. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Loosen up, Gracie. He only had a small gathering of elephants. Yeah. You're in the common room. Leo, sorry. You're in the common room. You're probably snuggled up next to one of the cousins. Adorable. Just like both of you are... Well, you, snuggled up next to one of the cousins. Adorable.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Just, like, both of you are... Well, he's... You're not anymore, but he's snoring pretty heavily. You have your clothes on, so don't worry. That's cool. I didn't think I did. Hey, Leon was worried. Hang it on, Josh.
Starting point is 00:24:16 It's D&D. What else? It's like, oh, God. All right. It's like, put my mouth, like, hand over his mouth. Please shut the fuck up. Will you stop snoring? He, like, rolls over. I'm just going to get up you stop snoring uh he like rolls over
Starting point is 00:24:25 I'm just gonna get up stop snoring though I'm just gonna get up and what's the D&D equivalent of a shower it's probably a bath I don't know
Starting point is 00:24:33 go throw yourself in the river I'm gonna do that wake up it's like one of those trails for horses out the front stick your head in that
Starting point is 00:24:40 yeah there's no bath this is not that kind of establishment that's a good that's a good like hangover cure shoving your head in a horse trough there's no bath. This is not that kind of establishment. That's a good hangover cure, shoving your head in a horse trunk. There's a public bath that you can go to. I'm going to do that.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Okay. I smell of booze and D&D weed. Pipe weed. Pipe weed. It is like being a teenager all over again. I need to get this stench off me. Is there like Febreze? There's no D&D Febreze.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Oh, post-digitation. Oh, yes. I'm going to do D in Febreze. Oh, Prestidigitation. Oh, yes. On the soil's clothes. Oh, it does too. I'm going to do that. That's awesome. Yeah, that. You fix your clothes up with Prestidigitation.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Clean myself with that. Do I feel right as rain? Clothes are cleaner. You're maybe a little bit cleaner. Do I feel right as rain? Yeah, you could go to the public baths if you want. All right, I'll do that then. How hungover am I when I wake up out of curiosity?
Starting point is 00:25:24 You've got a pretty head-splitting headache, but that's normal. That's just like an average wake-up for you. I'll roll out of bed. Oh, hang on. As I wake up, I have a moment of panic where I'm like, did I get in a fight last night? Grayson will be so mad.
Starting point is 00:25:40 I'd like to just casually look down at my armor to make sure there's no blood on it. Also that, did I stab a cousin? For the first time in your life, your armor is blood free. Oh my gosh. Did I accidentally stab a cousin? I should also have that worry. That wake up, you're like...
Starting point is 00:25:57 For the first time in your life... Oh, actually, you never cleaned your daggers. They're still pretty dirty. But not fresh blood. That's the thing I'm gonna go searching for Leo because we need to
Starting point is 00:26:07 buy a puppy it's a big common room what a night there's like a bunch of the cousins and stuff here it's not a big there's maybe like
Starting point is 00:26:14 10 beds in total and the majority of them are taken up by cousins I'm gonna go to the bathhouse first alright I'm gonna do that
Starting point is 00:26:22 and then I'm gonna go to puppy I'll meet you at the front. You're not gonna get clean? I feel clean. My armor's shiny. That's a win. Do you wanna go to... I heavily suggest
Starting point is 00:26:37 maybe you wanna go also to the baths, Cassius. Fine. I'll come along to the baths with you, Leo. Alright. I also cast prestidigitation on his armor. It's already clean. Her armor. It's looking delightful. Let's go to the baths.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Okay, we'll go to the baths. Baths, puppy, flowers for my beard. Let's get your hair done. Yes. Come back. As he's getting up and putting his pants on, I guess, he says to you, so we really only need... Do you want to wait much longer?
Starting point is 00:27:11 We really only need this more day of preparation. We could go tomorrow if we wanted to. Yeah, that sounds fine. Still need a cleric, though. Let's go. I've spoken, and they have an acolyte who could help, or we could get a proper... I don't know what that is, Adam.
Starting point is 00:27:26 An acolyte is like just someone who works in the priesthood but isn't himself a priest. So a priest... Apprentice. Yeah, like an apprentice to a priest. Whatever makes you feel better. Like I'm not fast, whatever's easier. My mum's probably going to want an actual priest.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Let's go find an actual priest. Sorry, I don't know if I was talking as Grayson or Adam just now. A little bit of a joke. A little bit of a joke. A little bit of a joke. A little bit. It's actually very serious, guys. We'll go find a priest. Talk to your mother about priests today.
Starting point is 00:27:53 That's what that sounded like. Like, we have a lot of fun here on D&D, but priests are no joke. Let's go find a priest, then. Okay. Together? Oh, yeah, why not? Yeah, well, why not? Yeah, well, who fucking knows what Leo and Cassie's doing,
Starting point is 00:28:11 and I don't know most of your family, so let's just chip off. Okay. Yep. Grayson looks out the window, says, I reckon we could just climb down, avoid them entirely. Oh, fuck yeah. No, I'm all for it. It is like being a teenager. Oh, fuck yeah. No, I'm all for it. It is like being a teenager. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Yeah. Grayson opens the window and he's like, my mum's going to be a bit mad. I just say, I was like, look, I don't mind avoiding them. I don't mind seeing them. It's going to be funny as hell if we climb down. But if you think that it'll be easier on your mum. Odds or evens?
Starting point is 00:28:44 Evens. Evens to evens? Evens. Evens to evens. Let's do it. Yeah! One last sneaky adventure. And he, like, gives you a hand to help you out. You're, like, walking across the roof. There's, like, a balcony.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Sorry, not a balcony. A, like, veranda that covers the front part of the tavern. Grayson, like, looks as far as he dares over it to see if there's any of his family, like, in the immediate area out the front part of the tavern. Grayson looks as far as he dares over it to see if there's any of his family in the immediate area out the front. And he's like, nah. Hang on. He jumps off
Starting point is 00:29:15 and you hear a whining sound. As he attempts to jump onto a horse. Oh my god. He nails it. Grayson, you absolute champ. The horse is tied there and it's not his though, so he gets off. And then he's like jump. Yeah, I'll catch you.
Starting point is 00:29:33 You said, oh, he's catching you. I know, I'm so excited. You said he puts on his pants, so this whole time I've been imagining him shirtless. You never said he puts on a shirt. And then when you were like he jumps on a horse, I imagine him laying in his hair, it's like, flowing in the wind. Yeah, Zardo.
Starting point is 00:29:50 Yeah, what's the climate like? Could he be shirtless? Probably not. It's kind of cold. They're never cold. Rats. He catches you, all right. Oh, good.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Does he drop my head on the ground or anything? As he lets you down, he, like, bobs down, and he's like, we've got to go now. Okay, all right, let's go. You hustle off with him. What sneaky adventure you're having. Sneaky adventure to go talk to a priest. Not like being a teenager.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Don't you guys remember sneaking out late at night so you can talk to the priest? A little bit. Once, yes. You guys are going to the public bath? Yes. Yep, okay. Just a scrub up. Just a scrub up.
Starting point is 00:30:29 It'll cost you... Oh, well, that depends. Do you want to go into, like, the common baths or they have private baths? I would like a private bath. Yeah, spoil yourself, ladies. The lady who's, like, running the place, this stone old lady is, like,
Starting point is 00:30:42 but separate private baths, yes? Oh, yeah, because, yeah. I want to, I'll have a common room, I'm fine. All right. Okay, five copper for you then. And a silver for... Actually, fuck it. I don't do that math.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Yeah, I'll take a silver. I'll give her a gold. But separate ones, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not with that. I'm not with that. I'm not with that I'm not with that I'm not with that I'm not with that either
Starting point is 00:31:10 I'm not with that we're not you're not sure exactly like if it's interracial or like just a man and woman
Starting point is 00:31:17 or like if she thinks you're a guy and it's two guys but she disapproves of this somehow of you two bathing together somehow
Starting point is 00:31:24 she's like in some capacity that's wrong we're know, we're just... She's like, in some capacity, that's wrong. We're just friends. We're just buddies. It's all right. Just bath buddies. You feel the need to explain to her? Just to clarify, she's giving us looks. Okay, you guys go have your bath.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Good. That takes you, I don't know, well, how long do you want to take in the bath? I'll be quick. They offer massage here as well. Yes, that too. No, no, no. Oh, fuck it. That's a bit more, though.
Starting point is 00:31:47 How much more? Well, how long do you want for the massage? Oh, whatever. How much? An hour? I don't know. Like, maybe for half an hour, it's another silver. Do it.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Nah, go nuts, Leo. Yeah, I'm going to... Like, go nuts, Leo. Go nuts, damn it. I know how you feel about massages. Wait. Three. Good?
Starting point is 00:32:04 I was there an hour, so I'll spend two. Three hours? No, an hour, so I'll spend two silver. Okay, cool. Done. I know how you feel about massages wait three good three hours no an hour so I'll spend two syllables okay cool and Cassius does not I'm not getting a massage but I'm gonna like wash my beard
Starting point is 00:32:13 and my hair I'm gonna get super nice when you get out the water's fresh oh good you needed a good scrub I haven't been clean in years you won't be clean again for years I'm that pale. I haven't been clean in years. You won't be clean again for years.
Starting point is 00:32:27 I'm that pale. I won't be clean until the next wedding. You'll see a tattoo. Oh, I did get that. That's fun. Who the hell is Daniel? What the fuck is that about? I'm as canon.
Starting point is 00:32:41 I have a Daniel tattoo on my arm. I don't remember this guy at all Is that from Mara? No His name was, I wrote it down, Ogden or something I don't know, I didn't remember It wasn't Daniel It'd be super amazing if I had Daniel on my other arm What?
Starting point is 00:33:01 What? Who is Daniel? Maybe we'll find out next time on The Indies for Nerds. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com. Hey there, fellow adventurer. Follow the links on our website, sandspantsradio.com. once only available to Sants Pants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot,
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