Dear Hank & John - 14: Jurassic Mars
Episode Date: September 7, 2015Do other people exist? How do I become a good middle school teacher? How do I know if I'm being egotistical? What is "home" and will I ever find it? And a secret that Hank has never told anyone and is... totally ashamed of!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John.
Doors I prefer to think of it dear John and Hank.
It's the podcast where me and my brother John talk about stuff and we answer your questions
and we give you dubious advice and it's fun.
We also share all the news from Mars, which is a cold dead rock distant from the sun and
AFC Wimbledon, which is the white hot center of America's most popular sport.
And we usually start out this podcast with a poem
from my brother John.
Actually, we usually talk about how we're doing.
How are you, Hank?
Oh, is that really?
I don't know.
I don't know how the podcast works.
I'm good.
You know what I just did, John?
Do you know what I just did like moments before
this podcast began?
Did you get a new refrigerator?
No, better than that.
Is your refrigerator fixed?
That's what the world wants to know.
I ate pesto that was taken out of my fixed refrigerator.
Congratulations on having fixed your refrigerator
and being able to enjoy Pesto.
In personal news, today is day 29 of my 30-day elimination diet, which means that tomorrow
I can begin to reintroduce food groups to find out what I'm allergic to that's causing
my eosinophilic esophageitis.
At the very least, along the way, I have learned that many of the things that I thought were required for living turn out
not to be and that in fact you can survive without dairy and wheat and soy and essentially
everything that makes food taste good.
Yeah, but you can't have pasta, huh?
I have not been able to have pasta in some time.
Would you like a poem for today?
It's kind of on the topic now that I think about it.
Oh, it's a Pesto-related poem. It's a poem related to consumer goods. And Pesto would have been,
you know, Pesto is essentially a consumer good. Today's poem is actually a request, Hank.
Luis. Oh my goodness. Long time listener to Dear John and Hank requested this poem.
Well, not that long time.
Yeah, long time.
No, he's listened to all 11 episodes.
He requested this poem.
The world is too much with us by William Wordsworth.
Great British romantic poet, William Wordsworth, and this is a great example of his poetry.
The world is too much with us late and soon,
getting and spending, we lay waste our powers.
Little we see in nature that is ours.
We have given our hearts away, a sorted boon.
The sea that bears her bosom to the moon,
the winds that will be howling at all hours
and are up gathered now like sleeping flowers.
For this, for everything.
We are out of tune.
It moves us not.
Great God, I'd rather be a pagan,
suckled in a creed out warn.
So might I, standing on this pleasant lee,
have glimpses that would make me less forewarn,
have sight of proteus rising from the sea,
or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.
William Wordsworth expressing concern about our relationship with nature
and our obsession with consumer goods way back in like 1808.
I guess we have less to concern ourselves with
if it's been a concern so long that it must not be a real concern, right?
I don't think that's how concerns work, but I do think that Wordsworth would be alarmed
by the proliferation of inside culture.
But sadly, I have to say that as much as I enjoy a good Wordsworth poem, Inside Culture
is my favorite kind of culture.
John, I have a question for you on the subject of poetry.
Sure. Why do poems sound like poems?
We don't talk like that in any other situation,
except when poem ing, you know what I mean?
There's a way you talk when you're reading a poem out loud,
not you, but a person.
All people talk this way when poems are being read.
You sort of have to like, of have to emphasize the syllables more
and make the things sound the way that they should.
It's like, it's kind of like performing a musical piece
except that there's a lot more room for improvisation.
Well, I think you've, well,
there's lots of room for improvisation
with some music pieces,
but I think you've hit upon precisely what it is,
which is that poetry is rhythmic.
Poetry is musical, you know, and so not all poetry, but lots of it is.
And so I try to reflect when I'm reading, you know, what I think the meter of the poem
is, and the most common meter in English is, is I amic, right?
Where it's to do, to do, to do, to do, to do.
That's I amic, right, where it's to do, to do, to do, to do, to do, to do. That's I amic pentameter.
The world is too much with us late and soon. That's the first line of that Wordsworth poem. And I don't know exactly why we use I amic pentameter in English poetry, except that it sounds good.
That to do, to do, to do, to do, to do. Something about it just fills our little heads with delight in the same way that,
you know, I think certain kinds of music do. So that's my theory about it. But when I'm reading
a poetry that isn't in Iambic pentameter, like if I'm reading, you know, a little bit of Walt Whitman's
song of myself, for instance, I would go in a totally different direction. Like, let me give you
the first stanza of a song of myself, okay? I celebrate myself and sing
myself and what I assume you shall assume for every atom
belonging to me as good belongs to you. So I feel like that's a
very different poetry reading voice than you have when you're
reading, you know, some old toward. No? I disagree. It sounds
the same to me. It sounds in the same way that it sounds different
from normal human speech.
It sounds the same.
Well, I think it's supposed to be elevated.
You know, it's supposed to be elevated.
Yeah, yeah, and it has like, yeah, it has,
and I think the question is, could you read that
in a way that doesn't sound like reading a poem,
or is it the poem itself that sounds like a poem?
I mean, I think a lot of poetry, a way that doesn't sound like reading a poem, or is it the poem itself that sounds like a poem?
I mean, I think a lot of poetry does want to sound
like heightened language.
I think some doesn't.
Like Franco Herr is having a coke with you.
You know that poem.
Right.
No, but I can feel it all.
You're just trying to get me to avoid reading you some Frank O'Hara.
And I don't blame you. Or, you know, what about what about some light verse like, you know,
Dorothy Parker. You know, like her poems, they still sound like, right, right, they still,
you know, Dorothy Parker poems still sound like poetry, but, you know, they're making fun of the way
that poetry sounds, if that makes sense.
So I think sometimes there's self-conscious about it.
But what if you just take a song of myself
and you just say it like words?
Like I celebrate myself and I sing myself
and what I assume you should assume
for every Adam belonging to me is,
it guys good, belongs to you.
Nope, you still sound like you're reading poetry to me.
I don't think there's any way to avoid it
because the language is precise and the language is chosen
and it has a rhythm to it, right?
I mean, you could sort of like tap out good poems
and like I don't think that's a bad thing.
I think that's a great thing.
Like you can tap out any great sentence
in literature, right?
Like the first sentence of great Gatsby in my young...
Is there maybe a better reading of song of myself, of most poems that isn't the way that we read them
because we sort of get caught up in the way of reading poems that sounds like poem reading?
No, because I think you have to acknowledge the heightenedness of the language in the speech.
You do, but you just said like that. because I think you have to acknowledge the heightenedness of the language in this specificity of the language.
But I don't, I think your underlying concern is maybe
that people when they're reading poetry get
to obsessed with line breaks,
and I think that's absolutely true.
Like, you should try in so far as possible to read a poem,
I think, anyway, as if you were reading.
Like, you know, as if you were reading aloud.
But, you know, and the line breaks are only there
to give you like the briefest of an eye pause
rather than the pause of like a comma or something.
But I don't know.
I'm not an expert in poetry, Hank.
I am just a guy who read you a great words worth poem
that you should have enjoyed more than you did.
I did, no, here's the thing that's happening,
I think, with Dear Hank and John,
and my being forced to listen to a poem every week, is that I'm starting to think more about poetry and about what it
is about poetry that sort of rubs me the wrong way.
And there are lots of poems that I enjoy.
More modern stuff is always more enjoyable to me, I think, because it's made for me and
people who are alive right now.
And so it requires a little less,
to like, there's a little bit lower of a barrier to entry.
Like I like Watski's poetry, for example.
But I think that a lot of it is the pretension
and the way that we perform poetry sort of does
elevate it in a way where I'm just like,
oh, I can't, like, it's like people talking about
how like about like the notes of raspberry
and twists of lemon and a glass of wine
when I'm like, you know what this day's like?
Is freaking grapes, it's grape flavored alcohol.
Let's get over it.
And I just,
Yeah, but I think you're maybe not giving enough credit to the validity of other people's
passions and interests.
So as a counter example, I would say that a lot of people find the language of science
or the language of mathematics to be very off-putting and to be very alienating.
However, that language exists for the purpose of specificity and for the purpose of accuracy.
And so if someone's trying to accurately map something from inside of human experience
or accurately map a relationship between contemporary human consciousness and the natural world,
you need specific language to do that.
So I don't, just as I think that there's nothing inherently wrong with someone saying that
certain wine tastes better than others, or trying to find out what it is
about that wine that tastes better than others.
I don't think there's anything inherently wrong
with this sort of heightened language of poetry.
But I will try my next week to find a poem
that you will enjoy that is unpretentious
and is read in a way that does not sound
a poetry.
Deal?
Deal.
And I don't want you to think that I'm criticizing you, and I don't want poetry to think that
I'm criticizing it.
I just, uh, just in the same way that when I'm talking about science, I like to do it in
a way that will be interesting to the maximum number of people and lower those barriers to
entry and make it less alienating.
I think that there's ways to do that with poetry, and that people who are in the poetry should think about it.
Yeah, that's why I picked a very accessible Wordsworth poem,
instead of one of the more difficult ones.
Sorry about that.
Well, let's do some questions, John.
Is that sound good to you?
It sounds fine.
I think increasingly that the way that I wanted you to feel about AFC Wimbledon
is instead the way that you're starting to feel about poetry, which is extremely unfortunate, because I just wanted to read a poem
to sort of like set the mood, and now I have to read a poem and then defend it every week for 20
minutes. My first question comes from Zara, or possibly Zara, who writes, dear John and Hank,
can you find some way to prove that my life is not a big crazy experiment and that all the people
I interact with are nothing but actors
and everywhere around me is one big artificial movie set
and that the real world is completely different to the one
I think I am living in now period,
which is not really a question because it ends with a period,
but I appreciate the sentiment because for many years
I believed exactly that.
When I was a child, I believed that I was the only real person
and that Hank was an alien and my parents were aliens and that the entire world that I knew existed
only to sort of entertain and distract me because I was the only real human in this very
complicated like alien play about what would happen to a human if you did various things
to them. So I'm very simple.
Do you think that that comes from a place of just knowing a lot more about yourself?
And the experience of the self is a much richer experience than the experience of the other.
And so, is that where that, I think a lot of like have this thought at one point in their last?
Right, so there's a bit of a word for it, right?
Solop, solop system.
The idea that like the self is, you know, my self is the only thing or the only self
that can be known to exist and that I should act out of that, out of that belief.
Like that's a, you know, big idea in Greek philosophy and then moving forward as well.
It's very difficult to, is it proven negative
or disproven negative?
It's very difficult to prove that that's not true.
However, I don't think that it is true.
And I think like one of the central facts
of being a person who is alive in a world with other people
is that you have to have faith that other people are as real as you are, and that their experiences
are as real as yours, that their grief is as real as yours, because otherwise you will end up acting
in a way that puts you further from, you know, further from connection to people.
So it is a leap of faith to imagine
that other people are actually people
and not some kind of like complicated experiment,
but it's a leap of faith that makes a lot of sense.
It is the far more likely your scenario for starters.
Yes, and yes, certainly.
I'll also say that it would be very, very unusual for Hank
and John Green to have done a 10-year-long video blog project so that we could play this
one very small part in the life of Zara. Well, I mean, it would be unusual, except not
from Zara's perspective, because from Zara's perspective, essentially the only thing that's
ever verifiably happened are things that happen to Zara, right?
So there is no, there is no world outside of Zara to Zara.
And that's kind of the challenge of being stuck inside
this prison of consciousness that like my consciousness
is the only one that I'll ever have.
My eyes are the only eyes I'll ever see out of.
I'll never know what it's like to be someone else.
I'll never be able to inhabit another person's mind.
And like, I don't want to minimize the size of that challenge
because I think it's the greatest challenge
that humans face.
But I do think that responding to that challenge
by saying, oh, these people probably aren't real
or I can't verify that they're real, so screw them.
I think that's the wrong response.
Yeah.
So the answer is, can we prove it?
No, but it is the case
Everybody's just their own person. Yeah as much as I can't prove it
I am still sure of it that said there are a bunch of philosophers who have
ostensibly
Disproved solipsism there are others who still argue for it, but not not so many
But yeah, I don't I think the right way to go about
the world is to assume that other people are probably people who don't exist purely for your
amusement and or edification. All right, we have another question. This one is from Kristi,
who asked, dear Hank and John, it's occurred to me that for the last few years, I've always been
between places. I live in places temporarily at university or my parents' house.
I travel between them as well as around the country to see my friends.
Either due to a restless nature or reading too much carolac.
I want change and new things, feeling that I need to be moving.
What is home?
Is it a place?
Is it an environment?
Do you reach a point in life when you find home?
And how do you know when you found it?
Ah dang. Yeah, that's a big question.
I
Don't think everybody reaches a point in their lives when they find home and I don't think everyone needs to I
Have an artist friend for instance
who's in her forties and
It was born in Afghanistan and lived for most of her childhood in Afghanistan,
but doesn't have a permanent residence now and also doesn't particularly want to have one.
She spends a lot of time in the U.S. and a lot of time in Canada and some of the time in Afghanistan,
and she isn't seeking permanence in the way that I would seek it.
But that said, I remember that feeling of restlessness and having read a little bit too much
carewack.
And it took me a long time before I felt at home, but now that I do, which is, it's almost
like something that you see in retrospect, where you, at least for me, where I'm like,
oh, I guess this is home, because I've lived here a long time and I don't want to move
anymore. And once I found it, I've lived here a long time and I don't want to move anymore.
Once I've found it, I've been very reluctant to leave.
Yeah, I also feel very at home in the place where I am, but I also empathize with Christi
in that sometimes, I do love to experience new things.
I do love to do things.
I also love to sit and stay at home and do
the thing that I normally do and have a routine. And I think that what this boils down to is the idea of
I mean, maybe not, but I've been thinking about this a lot. The idea of normal, the idea of
of normal, the idea of the regular, and having, and there's sort of, you know,
there's a push in my life,
and I think in a lot of people's lives,
to avoid that, to be weird, to try new things,
and especially when you're young,
I think that there's sort of a mutagenic force
of youth in culture,
and that's an important part of that,
is like this desire to do things differently.
But then when you settle into the normal and you find a normal that really works for you
and it might not be society's normal, hopefully it isn't exactly society's normal and it
may be very different from society's normal.
But the normal that works for you and of course that normal can change from day to day and
year to year can be a really wonderful thing
as
As much as I kind of think that it's underrated as you know Hank
I believe that stability in general is underrated
Both political and social stability are underappreciated because we're always fomenting
But yeah, I quite like normal, but there
is a wonderful friction to life before you settle into a normal, where lots of good and
interesting things can happen. But I also found that time of my life to be very stressful. Yes.
Like there was this constant deep down, gnawing fear of not having a safety net, of not knowing
who my people were for lack of a better term.
Like not knowing who I could count on day to day, and not having a great understanding.
Some days of like, you know, what my bed was even going to look like.
I've had the same bed for 12 years.
That, to me, is the definition of home.
Home is that bed that I've had for 12 years that has Sarah shaped and John shaped densit. Yeah, my definition of home is comfortable normalcy.
As much as my high school self and college self would hate that.
I was going to say somewhere 17 year old Hank is spitting on 36 year old Hank.
spitting on 36 year old Hank. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and I'm very nervous, that's because you're not in the normal period, yet you're in that terrifying, difficult, but exciting, pre-normal period. I want to cultivate a love for reading and writing within my students while also performing
to the high standard I've set for myself.
How can I balance rigor with my joy in my job?
That's a great question.
And in general, Hank, do we have any advice for a new middle school teacher?
The only thing that I would really say,
Megan, is that you are doing God's work with God's people.
God's people, of course, being middle school students.
And that I am deeply and permanently in your debt
as is the entire United States of America
for the hard and good work that you are
about to start doing with middle
school students and a special message to the middle school listeners out there.
Be nice to your teachers.
They're trying hard.
And as you can see right there, they are maybe just as scared as you are, maybe not just
as scared, but quite scared.
So I think you'll be fine.
Yeah, I mean, I just like that you're
asking difficult questions like that,
like wanting to cultivate appreciation while also wanting
to get good stuff out of your pupils.
That's exactly the balance that you have to find.
And I, having never been a middle school teacher,
cannot help you with that.
But the fact that you are asking it
shows that you care, and that's probably the number one thing.
Yeah, I mean, my only other piece of advice
to Megan would be to find good mentors.
People who are better teaching mentors
than John and Hank Green, who know absolutely nothing
about teaching.
So I'm sure at your school, there will be good mentors for you.
And I'm sure once you're there, it'll feel normal.
You probably are there by now, by the way, since we're answering your question belatedly.
And probably everything is going fantastically.
But yeah, find good mentors.
That's always my advice to anybody starting out in any career.
And I also want to say like people enjoy being mentors.
That's a lot of times it feels like it's a one-sided thing
and you're like asking a great deal of a person.
But if you find someone who you really respect
and you like the way that they do their work,
people will often enjoy sharing that
because if they're doing a good job,
it's because they love it and they're passionate about it
and probably think a whole lot about it and want opportunities to talk about it.
Today's episode of Dear Hank and John is brought to you by enthusiastic mentors.
Enthusiasticmentors.com, a website where you can find a mentor who wants to be a mentor,
not some person who feels like they got tricked into it, a real proper enthusiastic mentor.
Enthusiasticmentors.com, a website built in the future.
Probably tomorrow, the day after, by Hank Green.
Ha ha ha.
Today's episode of Dear Hank and John
is brought to you by Reading Too Much Carolac.
Reading Too Much Carolac, inspiring restlessness and change
in generations of students and humans before they realize that
really there's a lot of pleasantness about just sitting around and watching Netflix
with people you love.
Today's episode of Dear Hengajan is brought to you by Poetry Written after 1980.
Poetry Written after 1980, the only kind of poetry that Hank thinks is for him.
Today's episode of Dear Hengajan is brought to you by the Truman Show and the Matrix,
which have reinforced this idea of solipsism.
Apparently, it was a word that is really old.
Did I just teach you a word?
Yes, I know, I did not know that word.
I'd heard that word, I did not know what it meant.
Wow.
And everybody thinks that these ideas are so new, but they aren't.
All right, we got another question.
This question is from Blake, who writes, This also means that my brother now has a brother. My dad and brother, not my mom, have been very supportive of my transition and refer to
me as their son and brother.
My question is, how do I brother son?
I feel like there is a set of skills or a way of being that I don't understand.
It isn't necessarily about gender roles.
I'm not concerned with that.
I won't be able to bond over similar interests or anything.
But being a brother and son still feels different. I am in my early twenties and my brother is
in his late teens. What does being a brother mean to you, and is it in any way defined
by gender or sex? How do I operate as a brother and son, both in public and in private?
That's a big question. It sounds to me like you already are a brother and a son, Blake.
So you're probably doing it right, merely by doing it.
Yeah.
I always encourage people to like reach out to other people in the trans community and
other people who've had similar experiences, who you can find via social networks or
in real life, in meetings. But I think my experience as a brother is that being
a brother or being a son means trying to be a good person in a relationship, which is
not that gendered. I don't think. I don know, though. I've never been a daughter or a sister.
But I would say that there's probably as many ways
to be brothers and sons as there are brothers and sons.
And everybody does it differently,
but the thing that they have in common is appreciation
and love and respect for the rest of their family
and compassion, you know, like that stuff.
And so in a lot of ways, I think that you have become
a brother and son just by being like just as everyone else
has, you do the thing, you know.
And if your family knows that you love them,
then you're doing the thing right.
Do you love me, Hank?
Ah, come on.
Ha ha ha ha ha. All right, we got a question from Julie who writes,
Dear John and Hank, I was raised in a cult where we couldn't read
outside books. I don't know what outside books are.
I do. But that sounds like the vast majority of books.
Yes, correct.
I always love to read but was only allowed a very limited
amount of material. I left the church a couple of years ago and I constantly
hear people talking about all the books
they were required to read in high school.
And I wish I could have had a high school reading list.
Instead, I was attempting to teach home school
to my younger siblings, which was a disaster.
My question is, what books would be good to read
in order to better fit into this new world?
I have discovered outside the confines
of the one I was raised in.
That is a fascinating question, Julie. Yeah. The first short
story I ever wrote Hank was about a kid. I was in high, well, like the first serious short story I
wrote when I was in high school, was about a kid who'd only been allowed to read the Bible and had been
homeschooled. And all of the language that he had was the language of the King James Bible.
That was the language that had been spoken to him.
And then he found himself, you know, in a world
where the King James Bible and quotes from the King James Bible
and stories from the King James Bible
were not the only quotes and stories
and the language that were used
and it was quite overwhelming to him.
It wasn't a bad idea for a story.
The execution was of course just epically terrible.
But yeah, I mean, I think it's tremendously challenging
to try to live in a world where the sort of common
cultural references are very different
from the common cultural references
of your own experience or of your own childhood.
Yeah, at the same time, I wouldn't necessarily be searching
for the books that are gonna help you
like associate with other people and understand their references.
You might just be looking for the books
that you're going to enjoy the most.
So what I would do is just pick a bunch of classics
of a bunch of genres and find the things that you might going to enjoy the most. So what I would do is just pick a bunch of classics of a bunch of genres and find the things
that you might be into.
Right, yeah.
And when I say classics, I mean from today,
you know, the Fault in Our Stars being an important classic.
I would say, you know, you should read.
You want to start with a book like the Fault in Our Stars
that's kind of a contemporary classic.
And then, but you want to read more broadly,
so you also want to include, for instance,
like a great boarding school novel, like looking for Alaska, or a good sort of like comic road trip
novel, like an abundance of Catherine's. Really, between the Bible and the works of John Green,
you should be pretty well set. Yeah, I'm, yeah. I mean, I think that you can't try to read in a systematic way to catch up or to
be able to, you know, like, converse at cocktail parties because everybody's read different
stuff and that's good.
And it's good to be able to talk about books that other people haven't read and maybe
get them excited about them.
I think it's good to have, you know, different kinds of reading experiences. I will tell you the five books that I read in high school,
four school that mattered the most to me, and then Hank will do the same thing. Number one for me,
Song of Solomon by Tony Morrison completely changed my life. Number two, their eyes were watching
God by Zoraniel Hurston. number three, slaughterhouse five, by Kurt
Vonnegut, number four, the Ketcher in the Rye, by JD Sallinger, and number five, angels in
America by Tony Kushner. Those are my five books that I read in high school English classes that
had the biggest impact on me. I feel bad about excluding Whitman and the entire American
you know, Whitman and the entire American canon and Shakespeare and Wordsworth and Theodore Dreiser and whoever else, but those are the five that really mattered to me that I read
an English class. John, do you want to know a secret that I don't know if I've ever told anybody?
Yes. I didn't read any books in my high school English classes.
Are you serious?
None? I don't read any books in my high school and go classes. Are you serious?
None? I don't think I finished any book.
Wow.
Really?
Yeah.
What about like Romeo and Juliet or something
that's pretty short?
That's not a book and no.
I mean, they printed in book form.
You didn't, well, did you not have good high school
English texts like did you not get it?
I did have, I had good high school English teachers
and I enjoyed exercises in high school English.
I have very mild dyslexia and I read very slowly. And
when what would happen is I would be assigned the three chapters for that night. I'd read
the three chapters and then the next night I'd have to read another one. And I just couldn't
keep up. And by the time I was behind, I was just behind and reading the cliff's notes.
So I didn't. And I didn't enjoy any of the books because I was reading them to try and churn
through them as fast as possible.
I did not enjoy a book until I read Jurassic Park.
Well, that's an enjoyable book, no question about it.
I remember reading Jurassic Park in high school
and really enjoying it.
Yeah, so I enjoyed Jurassic Park.
That was the first book that I read all the way through
and like the first like adult book.
And it did inspire me to then go out and read longer books
that took me, you know, I'd probably,
in the beginning of this process,
would spend a month or two reading one book.
And like I just couldn't go faster than that.
So that's what I did.
And in class it was like,
you, like we're reading these,
these like 10 books this semester. I just was never gonna be able faster than that. So that's what I did. And in class, it was like, we're reading these 10 books this semester. I just was never going to be able to do that.
What else did you read in high school that was book length that you liked or that you finished?
Can you remember anything? I read The Mars trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson. And that was huge for me.
by Kim Stanley Robinson. And that was huge for me.
And I honestly, until college don't think I may not have read,
I must have read some other books,
but I don't know, man.
It took me a long time to become a reader.
And now I read just, like, you know,
I still read slowly, but I read a lot.
Yeah, you're a better reader than I am now.
Well, yeah, you have, you know, I still read slowly, but I read a lot. Yeah, you're a better reader than I am now. Well, yeah, you have, you have, everyone who has children will sometimes look at me
and like touch me softly on the arm and say,
what's it like to just read?
It is true that you don't have as much time to read,
but I could choose to read a lot more than I do because, you know,
at the end of the day,
after the kids go to sleep,
I often watch television instead of reading.
So I could definitely make better choices
or different choices.
I'm not, I don't know if it's actually better.
There's some pretty good TV shows on these days.
But that's really interesting.
That explains.
Oh, oh, a book that was huge for me in that change
that I read in high school was a THWYTS book about what is it?
What's it called?
The Once in Future King.
Yes, that one.
I never read it actually, but I bought a copy once and cut a gigantic hole in it and put a ring inside of it for Sarah's birthday.
Oh, I remember you doing that, and actually I remember looking at that hole in that book and feeling like you had
Burnt an American flag basically. Whatever you buy a book. It belongs to you. You can do whatever you want with it
That's really interesting. It also explains your continuing fascination with Mars that like it was these three Mars books that had such a huge
Impact on your reading life.
It almost makes me sympathetic to your position that Mars is of anything other than passing interest.
Well, I may also point out that I'm not the only person who is fascinated with Mars.
And in fact, I would like to see an analysis of movies about outer space versus movies about football,
the game played with the foot,
not football, the game played with the hands.
And see which there are more movies about.
I bet there's more movies about space.
Well, I'm sure that there are more movies about outer space
because it's inherently far more dramatic,
special effects, budgets are higher.
People like to go to the theater, does he stuff blow up, almost never do things blow up in soccer matches.
Only when something goes very wrong with a flare in the stands.
Alright, we got another question.
This one is from Aaron who asks, dear Hank and John, if you could add any one mandatory
course to the high school curriculum in the United States, what subject would you focus
on?
I love this question. Great question.
Hank, let's answer together.
Ready, three, two, one, computer programming.
Mars.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I do feel like not enough American high school students
are educated in the field of fourth tier English soccer,
which is one of the reasons that AFC Wimbledon
doesn't have as large a following here as I would like. But I of the reasons that AFC Wimbledon doesn't have as large a following here as I would like.
But I think that Mars and AFC Wimbledon
should be off the list for future courses.
I really think computer programming.
I think understanding how basic,
the basics of how computers work
and how we get them to do stuff with and for us
is extremely important to contemporary life.
So that would be my vote, hey.
I like that a lot.
I feel strongly in that regard as well,
I think that that, you know,
it is offered in a lot of schools
and I hope that lots of students
are taking computer programming.
Even if you're not going to become a programmer,
it's just a really important thing to know.
I have taken computer programming courses
and I'm not a programmer,
but it is very helpful to me in my life to know what is possible and to be able to communicate
with programmers. So that's great. I, you know, just to go out of different direction,
I feel like there needs to be a course on how to live, like how taxes work, and personal finance, and things like that. I would really like
for that to exist. And then I think that there should be a course on critical thinking that is
just called BS Detection 101. And I don't know, I feel like that's just something that isn't,
we just, you know, it's a post,
like it seems like it should be something
that is in all of the courses,
but somehow we've lost it.
Yeah, I would say that that,
I would say critical thinking needs
to be integrated into existing courses
rather than made into its own course.
But I don't disagree with you about
what used to be called
home economics or homeic being really,
really relevant to people's lives.
Like knowing how to, you know,
like not overdraw your checking account is very important.
And I did not really know how to do it
until I was about 28.
Yeah, right.
And like, and the consequences of it.
And understanding the difference,
what it really means when you have a monthly bill.
And all of the different ways that not having money
costs money and how to avoid them.
Because I think that there's a huge, there's a whole industry in America that's based
on people not understanding how money works.
And it just, it's a great industry for making poor people poor and rich people rich.
And it makes me very, very angry.
And I don't know why it's not something that is taught.
And also I would like that course to teach how to vote.
Yeah, how to vote.
Not which person to vote for.
But just how to vote.
But how to engage with the American political system.
Yeah.
And that no matter how much money you have,
you have the exact same number of votes
as the richest person in the world.
Our last question for today, Hank, it comes from Eam who writes,
Dear John and Hank, I just realized that Eam's name
is not Eam because his user name is,
I am decadent.
I don't think that person's name is Eam decadent.
I think that person's name is something
that is not in their email address.
Okay, anyway, EM writes,
dear John and Hank, do you like cooking?
Is there a go-to meal you have when you wanna be fancy?
What if you're tired, but don't want delivery?
Thanks and happy eating, first off,
when I'm, there is no such thing as me being tired
and not wanting delivery. Yeah. Yes. Even when I'm not tired, I want delivery.
Yeah.
I do like, I like, I like, I want delivery right now.
Yeah, actually come to think of it.
Why isn't there a pizza here?
Oh, right, because I can't eat wheat or soy or dairy.
Um.
The go-to meal for me when I want to be fairly fancy is a nice piece of fish very simply
grilled with cauliflower, some nice kind of baked cauliflower and very lightly boiled
asparagus.
That's the perfect meal for me.
But it takes a lot of work
and I just as soon have pizza delivered.
I think for us, it's either like curry,
like mushroom curry,
it's sort of like the fancy if we wanna spend some time.
And then if like I just want to eat
and I don't, and I like honestly, if I just want to eat, and I don't, and I like, honestly,
if I don't want delivery,
it's because I don't want to wait 30 minutes.
And so it's something like a tortilla
with cold cuts and cheese microwaved.
That's my, oh god, that sounds terrible.
That's like, I need food, food.
Mm.
Mm.
Or just a cold cut wrapped around a piece of cheese.
Oh God.
Or two bananas.
Yeah, two bananas sounds more reasonable to me.
I have to say that I've had to plan my meals very carefully
over the last 30 days because I can't eat any normal foods.
And that's been really helpful to me,
to know every morning what I'm going to eat that day,
to know what breakfast, lunch, and dinner are gonna look like,
and to know when I'm gonna prepare them,
because I don't find myself in that situation
where I'm super hungry and have no idea what to eat,
and then have to like ransack the pantry
in search of something to provide me with calories,
because every morning I'm like, oh, this morning,
I will have spinach.
And then later today I will have chicken and asparagus.
And then in the evening I'm going to have, you know,
salmon stir fry or whatever.
Oh God, it's been a long month.
Hey, can we move on to the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon?
Let's do that.
Do you want to know the news?
Do you want to know the news?
Do you want to know the AFC Wimbledon news? Okay, tell me the AFC Wimbledon news. Do you want to know? Do you want to know? Do you
want to know? Do you want to know? We want a home game. We did. Oh, good. Oh, that's very nice. We beat
Exeter City at home. Fans got to see a victory from the John Green stand. Ack thousands of people
sat in the John Green stand and watched an actual AFC Wimbledon victory beating Exter City 2.1.
And it was a beautiful game.
The winning goal was scored by our 21 year old striker, Aziz, the new striker.
He was with the team last season scored seven goals this year in expanded role, looking
very promising, very exciting and and and Hank currently five games into the season.
AFC Wimbledon are twelfth in league two.
They are in twelfth place.
There are 24 teams in league two.
The bottom two get relegated and then the top few get promoted up to league one.
Twelfth is dead center mid table, very comfortable,
not a bad place to be right now.
And hopefully if we can put a string of results together,
we'll be up nearer those promotion places
and we can dream of third tier English football.
But it's too soon for that.
It's just one home victory,
but it was a good weekend.
That is amazing news.
I am so happy for you.
And also for everyone, because of how AFC Wembley
is the most important sports team and institution
in history.
I thought that you were just gonna say sports team
and I was gonna have to correct you,
but I appreciate your expansion. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that to be quite complicated. I know, but AFC Wimbledon has overcome those regulatory hurdles because they actually care about their community
unlike some people.
What's new in Mars?
All right, this week on Mars,
well really on Earth, a slab of ice, 130 feet thick
that is persisted for tens of millions of years
was located on the surface of Mars.
It's the size of like Texas and California put together.
It's a very big thick slab of ice
that was probably deposited as snowfall,
tens of millions of years ago.
And it has, it is very odd that it has persisted for so long.
We don't understand why and how it has happened.
And it is, you know, we knew that there was ice on the surface of Mars,
there's ice all over the place, but there were mostly,
we were just thinking that there were these big thick slabs at the poles
and that all of the water around the rest of the planet
would have evaporated into the atmosphere.
But it looks like that a lot has persisted all around the planet
and it's sort of leading us to understand
that Mars has had a much more variable
and peculiar climatic history than we expected.
And also, it's pretty cool
that there is so much dang water on this planet.
So there's a lot of water on Mars right now.
Yeah, tons. And Mars has had a more variable climate So there's a lot of water on Mars right now. Yeah. Tons.
And Mars has had a more variable climate
than we previously believed.
Yeah.
Were there dinosaurs on Mars?
No.
But that would have been high school,
Hank Green's ultimate book,
it's Jurassic Park plus the Mars Trilogy.
No, you know what would be that is if we were like, you know, it would be, we could make dinosaurs,
but we've seen the Jurassic Park movies. So we're not gonna put them on Earth.
We know it would be a bad idea to put them on Earth, but we're gonna have Jurassic Mars!
Jurassic Mars! Oh my god! Hank, we have a bonafide hit on our hands. Somebody call Steven Spielberg
Jurassic Mars. We had Jurassic Park, we had Jurassic World, the logical next step, Jurassic Solar
System, Jurassic Mars. All right, John, you're the writer, so I expect to read a short story
called Jurassic Mars within the next six months.
Mm.
I'm pretty sure that that is a copyrighted idea,
and they seem to protect that copyright pretty aggressively.
There's nothing copyrighted about the word Jurassic.
I think there's something copyrighted about the idea
of bringing dinosaurs back from the dead.
Nah.
You don't think so?
Nah.
No way.
Alright, then it's settled.
Forget writing a short story, I'm a movie producer now, Hank.
I have a movie producing deal with Fox 2000.
I'm going to make the movie Jurassic Mars.
Do you think Spielberg will mind?
No.
No. mind? No, no, especially if it's really, really surrealist and crazy, just stupid.
Did you see Jurassic World? No, maybe it should be animated and it should be for kids,
but there should still be lots of blood and guts. Jurassic Mars for kids. I mean, it's a great idea for a TV show.
Dinosaurs on Mars is a fantastic idea for any format.
I cannot think of a format where dinosaurs on Mars wouldn't work.
See Hank, when you come up with,
when you tell me the news from Mars,
I try to use that to make your relationship with Mars
even deeper and better.
And when I tell you the news from AFC Wimbledon,
you dismiss it.
And that is the fundamental difference between us.
I did everything I could to be supportive of this time.
Thoughtful, engaged sibling who is truly a collaborator
and you are an underminer.
You are trying to undermine my passion
and the world's greatest institution owned by its supporters.
I did everything I could. I'll try to be better in the future.
Oh, Hank, what did we learn today other than Jurassic Mars?
Do you think that we could get Kristen Bell to play Veronica Mars, the character,
and solve a mystery involving dinosaurs on Mars?
You know, there's always one step too far
and you took it.
Okay.
We need to keep thinking,
we've only had this,
we've only had this dinosaur on Mars idea
for like five minutes, okay?
Let's not expect it to completely cohere yet.
Okay, okay.
But it's coming together.
I can feel it.
I can feel the creative juices working as soon as we go off,
the air of the podcast, I think you and I need to set up
some meetings with Hollywood producers,
and it's just all dinosaurs on Mars all the time.
All right, until then, John, what did we learn this time?
Well, we learned that William Wordsworth is a good poet,
whether Hank likes him or not.
We learned that we don't know whether everyone else exists,
but they probably do.
We learned that being a good brother and a good son
is mostly a matter of loving and being loved,
even though Hank wouldn't say that he loves me.
Thank you for spending some time with us.
I'm Hank, that other guy is John.
He's my brother.
This podcast is called Dear Hank and John,
and you can send us questions at dearhankandjohn.com. The other guy is John, he's my brother. This podcast is called Dear Hank and John,
and you can send us questions at deerhankandjohn.com.
This podcast is also something that is edited
by Nicholas Jenkins.
The theme music is from Gunnarola,
and as they say in our hometown,
don't forget to be awesome.
One other thing, Hank, you just said that you could send us
questions via deerhankinjohn.com
Which oh you can you've created a website. Oh well it doesn't actually...
Did I?
Well there's a deerhankinjohn.tumbwa.com it looks uh oh nope nope that's a different thing.
Yep you can't submit questions via deerhankinjohn.com you have to go to hankinjohnatgmail.com
Confirmed. What is this? There's a deerhankinjohn.com. You have to go to hankinjohnatgmail.com. Confirmed.
What is this?
There's a deerhankinjohn.com.
Yeah, it's a Tumblr where people write us really nice letters.
It's really sweet.
That existed before this podcast did.
Oh.
It did.
Yes, we stole the idea from them.
We stole a name from them.
Different ideas, same name.
Yeah.
Sorry about that, deerhank.
Probably in retrospect, maybe should have called
the podcast, deerjohn and hank. We probably in retrospect maybe should have called the podcast,
dear John and Hank.
I think dearJohn and Hank.com is available.
In fact, I'm going to register at the mall.
No.
Thanks for listening.
Bye.