Dear Hank & John - 242: I Was Dunking a Basketball (Live in Atlanta, GA!)

Episode Date: June 1, 2020

How do I show non-consumerist appreciation for my mom? Is it better to be sticky or slippery? What's your favorite chair? How do you get used to living in the cold? How do I deal with having an awkwar...d screen name? How often do books get rejected by publishers? How do you have a moderate opinion? What's the dumbest way you've ever been injured? How do you fight for custody of a goldfish? How do I become mayor? How do I lie about how I met my best friend? Hank Green and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Cold, open day, hello, we've got a live show for you this week. This one recorded in Atlanta a long, long time ago. Not just like a long time ago because everything seems like a long time ago, but actually like a pretty long time ago. This was back in January, so like almost five months. Basically, we realized that we have a bunch of live shows sitting around that we had been saving for when we were going to be traveling, which didn't happen.
Starting point is 00:00:28 So instead, we just were sitting on them. So we wanted to let them into the world, and if I remember correctly, this one was really fun. But who can remember that far into the past? So I don't actually know. I just seem to remember it being a good one. So let us listen together to Dear Hank and John at Georgia Tech. Hello and welcome to dear John and Hank.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Is dear Hank and John dear Hank and John. It's a comedy podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you the best advice and bring you one of the weeks news from both Mars and AST Wimbledon. Whoop! John! Hey. Do you know that they have one of the largest stadiums in the world here in Atlanta, Georgia?
Starting point is 00:01:16 Uh, one of the most recently opened NFL stadium in all of America. Okay. But when they first played their first game there, after the game ended, they had a huge problem with the stadium overheating. Because all the fans left. You know, on the scale of how they've gone on tour,
Starting point is 00:01:37 that was maybe not my best work. Please do an encourage him. I don't think they were. I think about 30 of them were. And the rest of them were like, oh, I see what John is annoyed by. Hank, I wanted to, before we start. Write an email? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:00 No, we were just watching a music video backstage. I was trying to explain something, but that's unrelated to this. Before we start, I just want to say a quick word of thanks. Thank you to everybody for being here tonight. I know lots of you have followed our work for a long, long time, and whether this is the first thing that you've ever been to, and you're like,
Starting point is 00:02:23 I don't understand why there's a minotaur. No one does. We just met Steve. He's really cool. He also gave me his jacket just now. I'm not. It's. It's.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Oh. Oh. How, how dead is the Hank is not Steve horse? And can we keep beating it? So if you're new, thank you. If you've been here, if you've been with us for a long time, thank you. And we're very, yeah, we're just very, very grateful. And with that out of the way, we're going to answer some but not all of the questions that you submitted to us. not because the questions weren't great. There were too many good questions. We say that in every city, but we're usually lying.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Oh. In this case, we are telling the truth. But we're gonna answer as many as we can. Hank, this first question comes from Kate. Kate writes, dear John and Hank, how do I make my mother feel appreciated? My mom is the kind of woman who hates clutter and isn't super into material goods.
Starting point is 00:03:27 So giving her good gifts is really hard. And consumerism has taught me that that's how I show appreciation. She's here with me today, Cade. Well, that probably did some work for you. I hope. Well, except at no point in this email did Cade say, like, my mom is great.
Starting point is 00:03:46 I appreciate that she doesn't like clutter. Yeah. You know what I want to know isn't so much that I am appreciated. It's that I want to know that people want me to feel appreciated. Yeah. And that is what Cade has said, which is true. That's true. That's true.
Starting point is 00:04:03 I'll also help clean up around the house. I have a three-year-old and every time he picks something up and puts it where it's supposed to go, I'm just like, yes! Yes! For sure! I'm putting it to that behavior. Yeah, I mean, I think, look, I think the way we make people feel appreciated is by telling them that we appreciate them and what we appreciate about them. But also when it comes to gift giving, you don't have to only give goods, you know, like there's a whole, like you can give experiences.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Like maybe you bought your mom's ticket to this show tonight. And at that point, she's probably like, oh, that's not the best $37 I've ever come across. But you were trying, Kate, and it's the thought that counts. I feel like in my own life, like the best gifts that I've ever been given with one notable exception were experience-based or were like service-based, you know? Like that's what it's all about, I think. So, yeah, we don't always need to increase the number of items in the world, except when it's posters and or enamel pins, in which case we do.
Starting point is 00:05:09 This next question comes from Brian, who asks, dear Hank and John, I have been told that I must be either slippery for the rest of my life or sticky for the rest of my life. Which should I choose, Brian? I'm so sorry about this. Yeah. That's terrible news.
Starting point is 00:05:33 I know this is rough. Yeah, I hate it when a hypothetical situation becomes real. That's always difficult. It's so very real now. And so first off, yeah, our thoughts are with you, and we hope that whether you end up choosing sticky or slippery, that you feel like that was the right choice for you.
Starting point is 00:05:52 I think I'd go with slippery. Yeah. Oh, we've got some slippery folks in the audience. The problem with being sticky for the rest of your life is that it's going to every time it creates a problem it's gonna be a big problem, you know? Like you thoughtlessly reach for the macaroni and now you've got a hand pot.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Yeah, that's permanent now. I guess it's more of a pot hand, but I've been able to think about my nouns. Yeah I think clothes are really hard when you're sticky. I also think that when you're, I mean, it's true. Things are going to stick to you either way, to some extent. When you're slippery and you get some dust, it still gets on you and stays. I feel like, but I feel like it's easier to wash if you're slippery. Slippery almost seems like a protection against the world.
Starting point is 00:06:43 Just a little bit of mucus to stand between you and all of the pathogens that the world has to present to you. You'd be better at football, probably. Slipp right out of their hands. As long as you're not wearing pads or clothes. How does football work? Naked. Naked. Naked and Brian breaks another tackle. Ah! Yeah. I just can't catch him till he puts pants on. It's a $12 million contract. $12 million contract. Yeah, but he has to be naked the whole time.
Starting point is 00:07:18 There's no rule against being naked. There definitely is. Yes. LAUGHTER Now, you know, but now that you've been talking about it Hank, it occurs to me that like, even without this hypothetical situation, I might want to be more slippery. Just a little bit though. Yeah, yeah, I don't want to be so slippery that I can't walk around or anything, but like, I wouldn't, I would not, yeah, I wouldn't a, like, if I were to propose a kind of update
Starting point is 00:07:48 to humanity, it wouldn't be my first one. But it would be somewhere on the list. Just a little bit, just a little slick. Next question comes from Allison, who writes, dear, John and Hank, a Georgia Tech, one of the most in-demand classes is ID-2202, history of modern industrial design, or as we like to call it, the history of chairs. Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:08:13 People like chairs. I think they like the class. Oh. Or perhaps they like the Georgia Tech. Oh! Golden Jackets. Oh! Oh! There was a guy, it was a joke, okay?
Starting point is 00:08:27 I wouldn't have gotten that close if I didn't know. Right, I wouldn't guess the Jaguars or something. Oh, oh, no, no, no, no. I mean to create a rivalry. We like, we like, we like, we like, we like bulldogs and tigers and crimson tides and whatever else needs to be like to get out of your safely You've got cost yourself much more trouble. I know you needed to know. I know I know what is the question I can't remember the question so many people who feel left out. Okay. Oh boy. We're deep. We're deep in a hole now What are John tell me about your favorite chairs.
Starting point is 00:09:06 What's your favorite chair? This one's great. I like this one. Yeah, this one. Just hold it up in between us and then. Ha ha ha ha ha. Safety chair. No, I mean, my all time favorite chairs,
Starting point is 00:09:21 probably the one that the undertaker used in. WrestleMania 12 to take out. I gotta think of a second, wrestling name. That one. So my favorite chair in the world, I do have a favorite chair. John's actually on a Sarah, pretty into chairs. My favorite chair is the Eames Langer. I think it's like the perfect chair. It seems like he's a good singer.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Correct. Yeah. It seems like you would have a more, like sort of, like off the wall while. I've sat in a lot of fancier chairs than the Eames Langer and I just don't like them as much. It's comfortable. It's the right, like size.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Yeah, some things are popular because they're the best things. Right. Like McDonald's. Mmm. Like BTS. We got to... Some...
Starting point is 00:10:12 Nope, that didn't work either. I didn't work. What kind of things do you guys like? Hey, can I... Hey, can I... We're just backstage. Hey, can I... I was just backstage saying that when we have a joke that bombs are...
Starting point is 00:10:23 Are... Are you... Are you... Are you... Are you think just to go harder on it? Yeah, our instinct is like, why don't we tell the joke again? And we're not doing that. We're pulling out and we're going to answer this question from Kayla, who writes, dear John and Hank, as a former Florety and how the heck do you get used to winters? I obviously... Are you in Georgia? Yeah, I'm sorry, you moved 400 miles north of Central Florida. To Georgia? No.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Okay. But I still find myself struggling with the mindset of it's so cold outside. Okay. I mean, I would have a lot more sympathy for this question if I hadn't spent like a large swath of my life in Birmingham, Alabama, which has a very similar climate to Atlanta and is not cold. Cold is when if you stay outside too long, you will die. That's the definition of cold. So the best way to fix this is to come live in Montana for a couple of years.
Starting point is 00:11:32 You'll move back to Georgia and you'll wear tank tops all on your top and bottom. If you were in tank bottoms. I don't know exactly how. Short. Yes. As they're known. Great. I think we should move on. Just go lay in some snow and realize what cold really is.
Starting point is 00:12:00 All right. I want to do a question. You keep doing them. I'm just trying. I'm just trying to save you. We do need to be rescued. This next question comes from Emily who asks, dear Hank and John, I named my Twitter account after a YouTuber's butt, and it has become actually quite popular. It's been replied to by Tyler Oakley and Lin-Manuel Miranda. It has become part of my identity and I do not know how to escape this branding. In a way, we got lucky with vlog brothers because it's bad, but it's not as bad as most of my 2007 screen. I actually thought about it. I was like, this is great. Wasn't, but I thought, but it was.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Way better than it might have been. Right. Julia Noons was a big, big early on in YouTube scene. Still, a very popular musician, and hers was J followed by seven A's. You had to remember the number of A's if you wanted to go to Julie's YouTube channel. It's not, however, as much of a problem I would argue as Phil's thick butt. Is that what the, yeah, no, it's sorry, John, it's Phil's thick booty. Oh, thank you. Two C's if you'd like to follow it on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:13:22 But don't, we're trying to solve every one's problem, not make it worse. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh god. I think that at some point you do have to say, like listen, this Twitter account is popular in part because of its screen name, but its screen name is changing. And then you just make, can you do that?
Starting point is 00:13:44 Yeah, you can change your screen name on Twitter. Okay. Good. I knew that you can, but you're John Green. No, anybody can. You just have to change it to something that exists. I see. That is available. Yeah, exactly. And so I think you just make the change. You actually make the change. And you just dance thick booty instead. Yeah, just making about a different YouTuber. No, move on, move on from the booty.
Starting point is 00:14:10 It can still be a Phil Stan account. I don't think that I think that you're going in the wrong direction. I think it should be like Emily last name. It could, well, okay. Or even like Emily in the city. I think, good. Great John. Here's the thing, Emily.
Starting point is 00:14:32 What you really want it to be is boring. You want it to be, oh, that's Emily. I like Emily. She's nice. Or you could lean in. You can have a separate Twitter account that's Emily in the city, but all stoned abandoned, Phil's thick booty.
Starting point is 00:14:50 Next question. This is your choice. This is your Twitter account. It's your life. Go John's route, go mine. We've presented you with your options. Yeah, I mean, that's the other thing. Don't ever follow our advice.
Starting point is 00:15:02 Obviously. Amanda writes, dear John and Hank, how many times did your books get rejected by publishers? And what advice do you have for aspiring authors? All start. So my book was never technically rejected, but only because it wasn't widely submitted. This is not an uncommon thing now.
Starting point is 00:15:23 I spent like three or four years rewriting, looking for Alaska my first novel with my mentor, Eileen Cooper, and I think if you can find a writing mentor, it's just an incredibly wonderful people to have in your life because they can serve the roles that agents and editors serve in those initial rounds of rejection and getting feedback. A lot of times, getting a rejection isn't as simple as we won't publish this. It's more like we won't publish this, but here are some things that we thought were interesting
Starting point is 00:15:55 about it, or we won't publish this because we felt like this wasn't working. You can use that feedback if you agree with it to revise. I did a lot of that process with Eileen over the three or four years that we were working on it together. And then she kind of like showed it around to a bunch of people, to a bunch of editors in publishing houses, a couple of whom liked it. And so there was no formal process.
Starting point is 00:16:22 There were a lot of people who didn't like it. I just never heard about them not liking it. And so, but it was about four years between when I first finished, like what I thought was a draft of looking for Alaska and when it finally sold. And then it was another like two or three years and really extensive revisions before it was eventually
Starting point is 00:16:44 published. As far as the advice I have for aspiring authors, and I actually think Hank's advice is better, but I'll give mine first. I think it's really important to read. I think reading is this great apprenticeship that we have, whether you read with your eyes or you read with your ears by listening to audiobooks or however it is that you engage with story. It's a way we have of being able to learn how people throughout history have used words
Starting point is 00:17:11 to create ideas that exist inside of other people's minds. And that's basically what stories are. And so if you read a lot, you start to see the mechanics of some of those stories and see stuff that you can steal. And that becomes very useful. And then the other piece of advice that I always give, because I think it's super important, is that when I was a kid, I felt like writing books was something that only a certain kind of person did,
Starting point is 00:17:36 that fancy smart people did. And I never felt like I was one of those people. And it wasn't until I got a job doing data entry at Bookless Magazine, and I met Eileen, who was a published author, that I was like, oh, Eileen's just a regular person. And then being around the Bookless offices for six years, every two weeks, Bookless Magazine would come out. And there would be 400 book reviews.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Every two weeks, Bookless publishes 400 book reviews, which means that like 400 books came out, though in those two weeks, that were good enough to get reviewed in booklist. And all those books were written by somebody and seeing that, you know, seeing all of those books come in helped me understand that like, it's not like being an astronaut or a professional athlete, although if that is your dream, I wish you well in it. Like writing is something that people do, that lots of people do. This is true.
Starting point is 00:18:30 I don't remember what my advice is. Okay, great. I, what got me through the process was falling in love with my characters, and like needing to see their story through, and it wasn't so much about whether I was gonna sell the book. I just wanted to know how the book ended, and that meant that I was going to finish the book one way or the other, and at least I was going to know how it ended up for them. I think the
Starting point is 00:18:56 fact that I cared came through and makes it matter to the people who read it. I hope. Yeah, for sure. I remember when, like, there has to, you know, a lot of times, I remember when I was writing looking for Alaska because I didn't know if it would ever be published or if it would ever reach an audience. I had to be able to say to myself, like, that's okay. I had to find a way. And even when I was writing turtles all the way down, because I, you know, I felt, I
Starting point is 00:19:23 did often feel like I would probably never publish another book after the fault and our stars came out. And so I had to be able to tell myself, like, this is okay if it never comes out. And it's okay if in the end you're not writing for an audience, but you're writing for yourself because there has to be like pleasure in the work, or at least meaning in the work, it has to feel meaning-filled. And I hear from a lot of young writers that they write something for a while, they write 30 or 40 pages, and then they abandon it.
Starting point is 00:19:52 That happens to me all the time now. Still happens to me. But I think that happens in part because you're figuring it out, and you're figuring out what parts of character and story are interesting to you and you will eventually, if you keep going, take from all of those different stories in various sometimes small ways and they will have been useful to you. So like to me, abandoning something after 40 pages or whatever, like doesn't represent like failure, it just represents a step on the path.
Starting point is 00:20:26 And that's how I try to tell myself that it's OK, that I keep banning stories and not finishing anything. Yeah. Yeah. I tend to think I have an idea of like two ideas for two books. And then I'm like, you know what'd be better is if those were just one book. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:44 To smash them together. It's like last and then I'm like, you know what'd be better is if those were just one book. Yeah. To smash them together. It's like last night when we were like, what about Gregorian Chants, but kids' Bob. And so you can really. That would be a good book. Yeah, you got to take, take, it's like, what about like first contact, but also famous on the internet. Boom.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Yeah, and that speaks to the fact that, like, Hank's books are much more high-concept than mine. There's an idea. Things happen. For a lack of a better term, there's an idea to them. But there's lots of ways to write stories, and there's lots of ways to connect with audiences. Why don't you ask a question?
Starting point is 00:21:23 OK, John, I will ask a question. This next question comes from my mind. It's time for a million dollar idea. Another a million dollar idea. This person had it on the internet. It was a million dollar idea. It's from Alex. This tweet got zero likes.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Great. It says, here's my million dollar idea. Post-millone, post-it notes. There's little drawings of post-it in the corner, so when you flip the pages, it looks like he's dancing or something. That is probably a million dollar idea. I think that if Post-millone got behind it, he could make a million dollars on Post Malone. I would buy that.
Starting point is 00:22:06 I'm not even a Post Malone fan. Let me say this. Post it notes that are also some kind of cute, funny flip book. Okay. He's a million dollar idea, I think. It might actually be a lot of work now that I'm thinking about it. I don't know how Post it notes are made. I think it's doable. I'm going to just go to YouTube and look up Post it notes and post it notes made. I think it's doable. I'm going to just go to YouTube and look up Post-It notes and post-it notes made.
Starting point is 00:22:25 I think it's a totally a thing. I think that people call him Post-It or is this just Alex? Just Alex? Okay. You've got a lot of Post-Mill own fans in the audience. There's usually a lot of people in the audience who are like, and who is Post-Mill own? And to be fair, I just barely know. Yeah, no, like a picture of his face, and that's just about it.
Starting point is 00:22:48 He's sunflower, and into the spiderverse, I know that, just from the movie. I think Post Malone needs a really good product. Oh yeah, he seems like he's having a, he's not really making it. He seems to be suffering tremendously. Yeah, he really, he needs to be brought more into the public. Yeah, we should, dftba.com should call him up and be like, post it notes, but with post more out. Yeah, we got to cut in, what's his face?
Starting point is 00:23:15 What's his guy's name? Alex. Yeah, I've got to make sure to cut in Alex. All right, our next question comes from Matt Naya, who asks, dear John and Hank, whenever I tell people including my girlfriend, I prefer my cereal with water. They can't let it go. See, this is the thing.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Let me finish the question. This is going to get good. But honestly, it's only a mild preference. And I rarely eat cereal anyway. So my question is, how do you have a moderate opinion when the person you're talking to has chosen it as their hill to die on? See? See the question started out and you're like, boo! And then the question ended and you're like, oh.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Now you're thinking about your own self. This is a great point. There are certain things that we will not abide that clearly don't matter. For example, John and his weird cereal, do you guys know? I drink my cereal with water, it's not a big deal. You drink your cereal with water. How long do you wait? I eat my cereal with water. It's not a big deal.
Starting point is 00:24:28 It is a, I wish I had never mentioned it. But this is such a great point about moderate opinions that are not like, you know, that you're not that passionate about. Like, nobody's allowed to walk into the internet and be like, yeah, I mean, I thought the Star Wars movie was pretty good. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Yeah, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Or even like, I didn't like that movie, but not like so much that I want to talk about it. Yeah, yeah. Like that's almost everything I don't like, but almost definitionally don't want to discuss it. Because I don't like it. I don't want to eat my head. Well, hey't like, I almost definitionally don't want to discuss it because I don't like it. I don't want to eat my heads.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Well, I like it. And I didn't, I didn't like, I didn't dis, if there's something that you don't dislike enough that you're like, this is damaging to the social order. Right. Like, there's a lot of bad stuff in the world that's not like overly harmful. Yeah, there are many worse things
Starting point is 00:25:24 that we could maybe be talking about besides John's weird cereal. Yeah, when you're done with this cereal, do you drink the water? Like I do with the milk? No, that's gross. Oh. Doesn't that wouldn't make any sense?
Starting point is 00:25:38 Just like Coco Puff's flavored water. Yeah, that's a terrible idea. Okay. Glad we're on the same page. Read that. I mean, the next time you find yourself ready to die on whatever hill it is, ask yourself at Naha's beautiful question, and I'm sorry if I'm this pronouncing your name by the way, how do you have a moderate opinion when the person you're talking to has chosen it as their hill to die on? Yeah, you just I feel like I need to have that tattoo on the inside of my wrist
Starting point is 00:26:12 Just glanced at it every now and again and be like oh well I don't agree, but it's not very important. I I recident I abstained from this conversation I recidund, I abstain from this conversation. Just abstain, you can have a card, says in beautiful calligraphy, I abstain. Which reminds me, John, that this podcast is brought to you by Moderate Opinions. Moderate Opinions extremely underappreciated. Well, I mean, it depends on the moderate opinion. Yeah. Some of them I do strongly disagree with.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Today's podcast is also, of course, brought to you by Slippery Brian, Slippery Brian. The next hero of the Atlanta Falcons. This podcast is also brought to you by tank bottoms. I'm not sure exactly what they are that go on the bottom. And of course, today's bad guest is brought to you by Cade's mom. Cade's mom, doing great, doing so good. to ask dear john and egg what's the dumbest way you've ever been injured uh...
Starting point is 00:27:32 i was at a super bowl party in st. Petersburg for which why the tampepe team won by a lot so that's the year it was it was the last time that happened. And I believe the only time. And I was playing football-ish, a game of-ish football. And I ran for a catch, and I ran headfirst into an orange tree. And then I had to have my eyebrows stitched back together. I once, my glasses were hit off my face during a game of pickup basketball across the street neighbors.
Starting point is 00:28:12 And then I had to go into a bush to try to find them. And I got this huge long cut that went from the inside of my knee all the way up to my thigh. And it was really bad. I had to get several stitches. And then I was in middle school. And so I was very embarrassed and uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:28:27 The kids at school asked me how I hurt myself. I didn't want to say like, oh, somebody smacked my glasses off me and I gave him a pick up basketball and then I was trying to retrieve them in a bush and got stabbed by a bush limb. So I said, oh, I was dunking a basketball. I remember this. I remember that lie. Yeah, I remember that lie. I remember this. And I remember that lie. Yeah, I think for a while, I believe that lie.
Starting point is 00:28:48 Well, I mean, it was one of those basketball hoops that goes up and down, so I could dunk, but like, how exactly the leg thing happened? It was never totally clear. Yeah, in my story, and people would be like, okay, and I was like, and I dunked it. I did it. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Starting point is 00:29:09 John and high school John, no one about TED talks before they existed. Lacey, what is your question? So over Thanksgiving, my roommate and I acquired a fish that belongs to my roommate's friend. Since Thanksgiving, I've been the one that watches him because I'm an in-state and they're out of state. So you're watching a fish? Yes, I'm watching a fish. Which I'll also feed it, take care of it, I assume. Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:36 And stare at it. A lot. It's a main, main resp- a lot. A lot. Okay. So anyways, he's just a little goldfish. Uh-huh. But we've become quite attached to him. Okay. So anyways, he's just a little goldfish. But we've become quite attached to him. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:48 And neither of us want to give him back. It's not, yeah. It's somebody else's goldfish and you're real good close friends now. Yeah, how should we go about custody? How? What? What?
Starting point is 00:29:58 What? What? How old is the goldfish? I'd say probably about six months. Okay. So most of the goldfish's life was spent with the acquirer of the goldfish. The original one. I would assume so.
Starting point is 00:30:15 So here's what you got to do. Lacey, I've got good news in bad news. Okay, you go first because I've got an idea. The good news is that you're going to be able to get a nearly identical goldfish. No, no, no, no. What is your idea? My idea is, so it's a two-parter. I'll tell you the second part first. The person who owns the goldfish will come back and you'll say, we've gotten very attached,
Starting point is 00:30:46 and I think the goldfish wants to stay with me, and they will say, how do you know? And then you will say, well, you stand there, and I'll stand here, and we'll say, go to who you want to stay with. And then the goldfish will swim to you. The first part is that you have to train the goldfish to swim to one side of the tank. See, the issue is, she hasn't brought the goldfish up. She hasn't, she hasn't, she hasn't, she hasn't won the goldfish to swim to one side of the tank. See, the issue is she hasn't brought the goldfish up.
Starting point is 00:31:07 She hasn't, she hasn't brought the goldfish. No. Oh, you should, then you should do the training and then you should say you should come to my room. I'm going to, we're going to have a custody battle. Wait, so your friend has not mentioned the goldfish since giving it. No, she hasn't asked about it. Yeah, no, you have to bring it up because you don't want to be surprised one day
Starting point is 00:31:26 when she just shows up and it's like, Goldie's coming with me and you're like, right, like in five years, it's only going to be worse. You got to close the loop somehow. You got to do it now. You got to do it now. All right, I think that I've solved this problem in the most sinister way possible.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Thank you, AC. Dan, Dan, are you here? Dan, what's your question? Hey, I wanted to know how to run for the mayor of my municipality. Oh, is it Atlanta? No, actually, it's a little bit further east. That's going to be easier. It's going to dramatically increases your chances. Yes.
Starting point is 00:32:01 Thank you. It's going to be very difficult to run for mayor of a large city and it's going to be easier and then it gets easier the smaller the city gets and then the easiest is if it's just you. Yeah. Now there are some cities in Montana where everyone is like, boy, that mayor is not good and then everyone's like, would you do it? Would you? Do you want it? No. Okay, well, I guess we'll stick with Jeff. But at least we can always find him at the bar. Good old Jeff. So, yeah, I encourage you to run for mayor in your town. I don't know who the current
Starting point is 00:32:42 mayor is, I don't know what the situation is, but getting into politics at the local levels is a very rewarding thing and it is very accessible. I think to some, sometimes we feel like it's not accessible. You might wanna dip your toe in the city council first to see what a mess it might be, but. But even before that, I think you start, I think I would start going to city council meetings. I would start like participating in, meetings. I would start participating in if you are affiliated
Starting point is 00:33:08 with a political party, or if it's a, some cities have a political party, elections in some non-partisan. That's the one I was looking for. And so I would like, if you're a member of a political party, I would get involved, I would canvas for other, I mean, this is just based on having known my friend Daniel Biss who started out as a mathematician and became a very successful politician. So he started out by canvassing and by going to meetings and by talking with people and
Starting point is 00:33:41 by saying, I want to be in a leadership position in my community. What do I need to do? And I think that's the way. A lot gets done at meetings in public life, which is one of the reasons why I admire your willingness to do it and I myself will just be voting for you. I don't know that you live in that particular municipalities.
Starting point is 00:34:03 Not yet. But once Dan's the mayor I'm moving. Dan, thank you for your question. Also thank you for your work. My company uses your company's services as I Google to you. And finally, we have Payton. Hello, Payton. What is your question for a last question of this evening's dear Hank and John?
Starting point is 00:34:24 Okay. A few years ago, I got really into some YouTubers and made a stand-account to reply to their tweets without annoying my real-life friends on my actual Twitter. Okay. That's when I met my best friend, who's here with me on this tour? Wait, is your best friend have a Twitter account called Phil Stick Booty? He does! He does! Uh-huh, okay. So I think we can just leave.
Starting point is 00:34:47 I think it's never been, not getting better. That's the peak. That's the peak. So you're in your friend. So you're in your friend, so you met? Is that you met? Yes, on Stand Twitter. And we're both 24, so that's kind of embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:35:00 Right. So I wouldn't tell a whole room full of people about it. Yeah, thank you for making me do this. I mean, this room is safer than most. Yes. Well, we've moved closer together now. We used to be, I was in Kansas, she was in Atlanta. But now we live in Alabama, my husband and I.
Starting point is 00:35:18 So now we meet up in person. Pretty much all the time. That's great. So, people in my real life want to know how I met her. And I'm not quite sure what to tell them, because how do I lie? My initial thought was, we met at work, but we've never even lived in the same state.
Starting point is 00:35:35 And I'm a nanny, and she's not three. So. So. Yeah, good. Yeah, so I'm not really sure what to do when people. So people are like, how did you meet your good friend, Emily Slash, and you're like, I don't know what to, we bet on the internet, you could say that. And then they're like, well, how do you mean on the internet?
Starting point is 00:35:55 You're like, um, stand Twitter. You can do that. It's not like, like, and Dan and Phil's a shameful thing. They're amazing. No, I would say, I would put it that way, because I think if you say Stan Twitter, you're going to get a lot of blank looks. Yeah, I would say. Who's Stan?
Starting point is 00:36:14 I would say we met because we were both part of the fan community of a YouTuber, or we were both part of off-fan community, and if then if they get specific, you're like, oh yeah, I mean Emily and I, we like a lot of YouTubers, fill down, fill. Or, or you can totally lie. Like saying, I met at work, it does eliminate the questions,
Starting point is 00:36:43 but you could build a whole backstory and be like, we just by it happened to be both visiting Washington DC at the same time and there was a freak wind storm and a tree blew over and we both got stuck under the tree. We were there for three hours under a tree. And we had to talk about something, so we talked about life and love and our parents and all the difficulties we had, and we were just stuck into the tree waiting for the DC Fire Department. We got a good die. Yeah. We were holding each other's hands. Weeping.
Starting point is 00:37:11 We've seen 127 hours. It was like that. It was terrible. We didn't know how we were going to make it through. And then finally, the four service came and she saw the three of us. She saw the tree and freed us, and we were holding each other and crying and we said, I think we're friends. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:31 So you can use that if you want it. Freak DC wind storm. Yeah. Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah, they met dunking a basketball. It's an audience suggestion. We were both up there. And then both basketballs went into the same time.
Starting point is 00:37:49 That our legs collided. Yeah, you will be like, and what is the relevance of that to the story? And you'd be like, I dunked the basketball. Both hands. I dunked and I'm five foot one. Oh, it's beautiful, John. Baden as a beautiful story.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Congratulations on your wonderful friendship. And thank you very much for your question. And thank you everyone in the room. Thank you for this wonderful evening. What a joy it has been to be with you here today. Thank you for being here with us and thank you for letting our work have a seat at the table in your lives. And we hope that you have had a wonderful time and that you will be able to go forth into the world and do wonderful things with great people. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:38:36 John, this podcast is edited by Joseph Tune. A medicine produced by Rosie on a hospital in Washington, Sheridan Gibson. Our communication coordinator is Kyle Lugarsia Prieto. And the music you're hearing now at the beginning of the podcast by the great Gunnarola. on a hospital, a awesome share of engagement. Our communication coordinator is Kyle Lugarsia Prieto. And the music you're hearing now at the beginning of the podcast by the Greek Gunnarola. And as we say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. Thank you all so much.
Starting point is 00:38:55 you

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