Dear Hank & John - 328: The Dear John Episode

Episode Date: April 18, 2022

Do bees know what they're doing? Do you worry that you'll run out of thoughts? What is the wildest thing some rando has ever said to you? Can my weekend sleep schedule be different? Why are advertisem...ents so annoying? How do ships traveling at half speed save fuel? What are the implications of a tiny plastic baby? How do you do anything when the world is ending? John Green has answers! Music breaks in this episode:"Dear Hank and John Theme" by Gunnarolla"Stolen Hearts" by T. Morri"Becoming Mr. Bossa" by Redeemin' If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Note: The podcast ad for the IMPACT app is unscripted and being recorded live. It may contain some slight differences. Please visit https://impact.interactivebrokers.com/ for full details of products and services. Interactive Brokers, LLC member FINRA/SIPC.The projections or other information generated by IMPACT app regarding the likelihood of various investment outcomes are hypothetical in nature, do not reflect actual investment results and are not guarantees of future results. Please note that results may vary with use of the tool over time.The paid ad host experiences and testimonials within the Podcast may not be representative of the experiences of other customers and are not to be considered guarantees of future performance or success. The opinions provided within the ad belong to the host alone. 

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John Wars. I prefer to think of it dear, John and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, provide you with dubious advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and Dave C. Wimbledon, but it's a little different this week because Hank is busy doing, you know, 75 of his 76 jobs and so he's unavailable. My spouse, the lovely Sarah Eurost Green, is on a work trip, and the person who was supposed to co-host Dear Hank and John with me today has COVID. They feel okay, don't worry about them, but they do have COVID. So it is a one-man band spectacular. It is an
Starting point is 00:00:41 unprecedented episode of Dear Hank and John. It's the Dear John episode. The episodes that I for one have been waiting for for years and years. Oh God, I don't know how this is going to go. It's going to be challenging for all of us. Nobody wanted to be in this situation, but here we are. I want to answer your questions. I want to provide you with dubious advice, and I don't currently have a co-host. There will be no dad joke today, by the way. That's the first unilateral action that I am taking as your solo advice
Starting point is 00:01:16 podcast host. We are removing the dad joke just for this week. I'm sure Hank will be back with it next week. Hank will be returning next week This is not a permanent development or anything like that. Oh boy. I did have an opening bit this week because we got a question from somebody who was like, I don't ever care what you say. I just like the sound of your voice. You could just read the back of a cereal box
Starting point is 00:01:38 and I would be equally happy. There's no need to put all this work into telling jokes and answering questions. And so I thought I would maybe try that today. I was going to read to you from this box of Frosted Mini Weats I have. You know, in reading, you never really look at the text on a serial box, but in reading this text, I find myself troubled by the marketing approach that Frosted Mini Weeds has taken. So here we go.
Starting point is 00:02:07 It's a new segment of Dear Hank and John where I read to you, serial boxes. Kellogg's Frosted Mini Weeds, original, one bowl, and your good till lunch, footnote. There's literally a footnote after one bowl and your good till lunch, footnote. There's literally a footnote after one bowl and you're good to lunch. Footnote, after eating a ball with 2% milk, at least half of adults had a lower desire to eat than before breakfast. Well, that's not just true for frosted miniweets. That's true for all food. Frosted miniweets on the front cover of their box. They just described the experience of eating and bragged that if you eat frosted mini-weets, you will feel as one feels after eating. Then we've got the back of the box.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Sorry, I shouldn't have told the joke. I should have just read the copy. One bowl and you're good till lunch. It's also on the back of the box. They're so happy with that line they used it twice. Every bite, delicious. Every bite, satisfying. 10 layers of wheat, 48 grams of whole grain,
Starting point is 00:03:14 6 grams of fiber. That's it. That's all they want you to know about Frosted Mini Weats is that it makes you less hungry. That's their big brag. If you eat this food, is that it makes you less hungry. If that's their big brag, if you eat this food, you will feel like you felt after. That's it. That's their big brag. All right, let's answer some questions from our listeners beginning with this one from Frida. And by let's answer some questions from our listeners, I mean, I will now be answering some
Starting point is 00:03:40 questions from our listeners beginning with this one from Frida who writes to your John and Hank, now be answering some questions from our listeners. Beginning with this one from Frida, who writes to your John and Hank, do the bees know what they're doing? Thank you, Frida. Now, Frida, this is a great Hank question, but Hank's not here, so I'm going to answer with a poem. Lines written in early spring by William Wordsworth. I love this poem. There's so much to like about it. You may think that you don't like poetry, but just bear with me through the reading of this poem, and then we'll talk a little bit about it. I heard a thousand blended notes while in a grove, I sat reclined in that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts bring sad thoughts to the mind. To hear her fair works did nature link the human soul that threw me ran, and much of it grieved my heart to think what man has made of man. Through Primrose Tufts in that green bower, the
Starting point is 00:04:36 Perrywinkel trailed its reeds, and tis my faith that every flower enjoys the air, it breathes. The birds around me hopped and played their thoughts by cannot measure, but the least motion which they made, it seemed a thrill of pleasure. The budding twigs spread out their fan to catch the breezy air, and I must think, do all I can, that there was pleasure there. If the belief from heaven be sent, if such be nature's holy plan, have I not reason to lament what man has made of man? Now, there are some things I don't love about the poem. Like, I don't love that William Wordsworth is imagining that like humans need to return
Starting point is 00:05:25 to the state of nature as if there's just one state of nature. When in fact, there was never really a time when humans organized themselves in purely utopian ways, like from the beginning of human social orders at least so far as we can tell. There were lots of different ways that people organized themselves. And sometimes they were oriented around egalitarianism, and sometimes less so. And, you know, it's just like oversimplifies prehistory a little bit,
Starting point is 00:05:52 although that's not really William's words worth fault that he was living in the 19th century when that was the common way of talking about nature in Europe. But what I love about the poem, I love the idea that flowers enjoy the air they breathe and that birds enjoy flying through the air. Obviously, animal emotion is complicated and we only know so much about it. I'm actually reading a great book about it right now by Ed Yong, the same person who wrote, I contain multitudes. It's really fascinating. I've never learned so much about the, like, inner lives of animals, but we've done quite a bit of research on this topic now.
Starting point is 00:06:29 That said, I just really love the idea. I like the idea that bees know what they're doing on some level. They may not know what they're doing, like, we know what they're doing, but I like the idea, and I believe that they do. That is not a Hank answer, but once again, Hank is not here. Alright, let's answer another question. This one's from Emily, who writes, Dear John and Hank, do you ever wonder if you'll run out of thoughts? I have a tendency to get scared that I'll run out of thoughts, or maybe that I've already run out. Has this ever happened to you before? And how do I stop this? Usually, I just start consuming mass amounts of media, but then nothing sticks, and I just
Starting point is 00:07:09 obsessively think about when I'll stop thinking. Hopefully, this isn't my last thought, Emily. So I've never heard of this particular obsessive worry, but I find it really interesting because of its recursiveness, I do love a recursive obsessive worry. And this particular obsessive worry, when you can't stop thinking about the fact that you might be done thinking, chefs kiss for recursion. It sounds very unpleasant to actually live with,
Starting point is 00:07:36 but metaphorically resonant, wise, it's perfect. I don't worry that I'm gonna run out of thoughts because Emily, the thing that I would encourage you to remember is that you are always having new thoughts or else new shades of thoughts. I do think the consuming media can help us to have new sets of thoughts, but I find for me at least that also walking in the woods can help me to have new thoughts,
Starting point is 00:08:06 talking with a friend can help me to have new thoughts. What actually makes me have the most new thoughts is getting out of my comfort zone, getting out of my routine. So if I'm just kind of mindlessly scrolling on Twitter, I'm probably not being pulled toward a really interesting or important new thought. Now sometimes I am, like sometimes you come across a tweet that you're like, wow, that really helped me. I found that quite useful, but not usually.
Starting point is 00:08:35 You know, usually I don't feel like I'm thinking a radical, thinking in a new way or approaching a problem from a new angle when I'm on Twitter. So I like to get out of my routine if I can, even though that's uncomfortable, because I find that's where the thoughts happen for me. So if I read something new, if I go someplace new, even if it's like slightly new, like this morning, instead of going on my usual walk, I walked the same trail in the opposite direction and because I don't have a particularly sophisticated sense of direction or place, it all felt new to me because I was looking at the same trees but I was looking at them, you know, from the
Starting point is 00:09:19 opposite side, the trail I walk is a circle and so if you walk the circle in the other way, to me, it appeared to be a completely new trail. It was full of unprecedented surprises. And I had more interesting thoughts, like I'm working on a story right now, and I had more interesting thoughts about the story than I think I would have had if I'd walked the path in the usual direction. So I would say read something new or try to see something new, even if it's on Google Maps and see if that works. But you're not going to run out of thoughts. I mean, you are going to run out of thoughts, but not until after you return to chemical equilibrium. Return to or reach. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:10:09 That's the kind of thing that Hank would work off of in a really interesting way, but instead, I'm just going to have to ask you the listener to decide. Alright, cool party. Let's answer this question from Emily who writes, dear John and Hank, yesterday while leaving the hospital where I work, I paused to watch the medical helicopter land. I've always loved helicopters, and so does my mom. So I snapped a picture. And some random pedestrian walked past me at that moment, somehow not looking at the helicopter and looked at me and said, is this your first time seeing a helicopter? I abruptly said no, louder than
Starting point is 00:10:43 necessary, and she left me alone. My question is, what is the wildest thing someone random has ever said to you? Helicopters and hostility, Emily. You know, what is it about the rude things people say to us that stick in our heads so precisely? It's related to the feeling of mortification for me, but I have vivid memories of events like this, Emily. Like the other day, I was walking on the trail, not to make
Starting point is 00:11:16 this all about my daily walks. The other day, I was walking on the trail, and there was somebody else walking in the opposite direction, and I said hello, or something, good morning, something innocuous. And they said to me, not you. And I realized that like they were talking on their on their airbuck pods to on the phone or whatever, like talking to someone else. And they had said something. And I they thought that I was responding with good morning and then they said to me not you and I have replayed this brief exchange tens of thousands of times since it happened and
Starting point is 00:11:58 what is it about what why can't we let it go it's yeah, I don't know, I don't know what that is, Emily, but I'm sorry that this person was rude to you. And I feel like there is an element of people have a little, I don't want to sound like like old man yells at cloud, but I do feel like there's a little bit of an element of people have kind of forgotten how to like talk to each other in person. Like also a few days ago, I was at a restaurant to pick up some food, and somebody stormed in and said, you said it would be 20 minutes, and it's been 24, and slammed down the thing, and then I said to the the host person at the front desk, I was like, I'm so sorry, that happened. And they were like, ah, it goes with the job, and I was like, does it? It shouldn't, like, yeah. So I don't know if people have always been a little bit rude,
Starting point is 00:12:48 but we need to have, we need to, we need to, we need to channel our inner Paul Farmer and find a hermeneutic of generosity. We need to find ways to interpret the actions of others in the most generous lens possible and not in the worst lens possible. But even then, I struggle to understand looking at it through a hermeneutic of generosity. Why this person went out of their way to tell
Starting point is 00:13:11 you have you never seen a helicopter before. Maybe, all right, here's my attempt at an H of G in this situation. Maybe they maybe it triggered something in them, some bad memory that they have, some experience of being in a helicopter, maybe even being in a life flight helicopter. And they felt this sort of like anger rise up in them that they didn't know what to do with, and so they turned it to you. Or maybe they didn't know how to modulate their voice for your expectations, and they were genuinely curious if you've never seen a helicopter before and wanted to start a conversation.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Maybe it was that. I don't know. But to answer your question, the weirdest thing a stranger has ever said to me is one time I was on the L in Chicago on my way to work one morning and I was just reading a book and a woman walked up to me and got right in my face and said, son, you've got the devil in you. And I didn't know what to make it at. I still don't. Sometimes I think like, oh god, I do. I do have the devil in me. And she saw it. Tuna, do you think we can have music breaks or something? Just something other than my voice, maybe just a little bit of the intro music again? That was nice. That was a good break. All right, back to the questions. I've never,
Starting point is 00:15:02 I've never missed my brother more in my life than I miss him right now. This next question comes from Kate who writes, dear John and Hank, I recently started my first full-time job and quickly realized the only way to get everything done in addition to working 10 hours because we do four-day work weeks is to get up at 5.30 in the morning so I can work out before work and then get off early enough to cook dinner and wind down before bed. I don't mind waking up early and going to bed early, but I've been wondering,
Starting point is 00:15:27 how should I sleep best during the weekends? Should I keep that same schedule or is it okay to sleep in? Don't make me wait. Kate, Kate, you are a vastly more disciplined person than I am and I do not feel qualified to give you advice on this matter. When I have to wake up at 5.30 in the morning to work out,
Starting point is 00:15:45 you know what I do? I don't work out. 100% of the time. If you tell me the workout is at 5.30, I'm not gonna be there. Period. So I don't know. I would sleep in in the weekends,
Starting point is 00:16:02 but like I also wouldn't wake up at 5.30 to work out, so it's a little hard for me to fully empathize with you. I feel like you can sleep in on the weekends as long as it doesn't like overly interrupt your sleep schedule, I think you're gonna be fine. Honestly, I think you're doing great, and I'm a little bit envious. All right, next question, Emily writes,
Starting point is 00:16:20 dear John and Hank, I just watched Hank's TikTok about the laundry pod, laundry sheet beef, and it made me wonder, by the way, you don't have to see that TikTok in order to understand this question. You don't have to get on TikTok at all. It's highly addictive. Why are most advertisements so annoying?
Starting point is 00:16:35 That's Emily's question. Is there point to annoy you? Or do they really think a computer animated voice with a song that makes me want to rip my hair out is going to make me want to buy the product. It seems like most ad reads on podcasts that are read by the hosts aren't bad at all, like John's policy genius reads. Oh, thank you, Emily.
Starting point is 00:16:53 But ones where it's some other company reading me a line, I just can't reach for the skip button fast enough. Why do most ads have this effect? Annoyed with ads, Emily. So you have to remember that advertising doesn't just exist to give you a positive impression of the brand. It also exists to give you an impression of the brand, like a memory of the brand. I'll give you an example of what I mean. There's an insurance company that isn't policy genius.
Starting point is 00:17:24 It's called the general, and they have a very annoying jingle. Go to the General and save some time, and it plays during all of the soccer games. So, like, I hear this jingle. I've heard this jingle every Saturday, two or three times, for, I don't know, 12 years, and it's one of the only advertisements I see on a regular basis, because I don't watch a lot of like, linear television, except when I'm watching soccer. And it is not effective in the sense that it is not for one second persuaded me that I do not have
Starting point is 00:18:04 the right car insurance solution, but it is effective in the sense that I now know what that company is, what they sell, and how they are trying to present themselves to their customers. And so when I go shopping for insurance, which I don't need to do because I can just go to policygenius.com. But if I were to go shopping for insurance in some other way, I might be like, well, I know what they are. I know that they're an insurance company. I have heard of them in a kind of public-facing way, which makes me think that they're somehow legitimate.
Starting point is 00:18:40 And so I think that we have to remember the complex series of things that advertising is trying to do to us. And then the second thing we have to remember is that advertising works. It is effective. And if it weren't effective, it wouldn't exist. If advertising couldn't directly increase the amount of sales that a service or a good can generate, it wouldn't exist. Like, there are companies, Arizona IST is a famous one that spend basically no money on advertising because they don't need to.
Starting point is 00:19:19 They've decided that like, there's a different strategy that's gonna work for them. In the case of Arizona IST, like they're available at every gas station, they're less expensive than every other IST, and they're quite good. And so they don't need to advertise. But most brands make their money from brand awareness. We know what Coke is, we know what YouTube is,
Starting point is 00:19:43 we know what Netflix is, and y'all know what policy genius is. And that's worth it to them. Like, I used to think that I was immune to advertising, I used to think like, well, they can show me on the advertisements they want, but I'm gonna buy what I'm gonna buy. But the truth is so much more complicated and nuanced
Starting point is 00:20:04 than that. The way that it impacts you is not necessarily in that direct, what a great idea. I think I'll go to policygenius.com and find out more about life insurance kind of way. The way it affects you may be over the course of the next five years, you think, well, gosh, do I need life insurance? And maybe it's like three years down the road when you realize, oh yeah, now there are people who are kind of counting on me financially. And if I were to die, it would be a huge problem for those people. And I can make that situation easier for them. And so I think I'll go get
Starting point is 00:20:40 life insurance. Well, where will I get life insurance from? Oh, I've heard of a couple places. So yeah, I think it's complicated, but I think the thing to remember that I always forget is the advertising works and I am not immune to it. And if I think I am immune to it, I am in fact more vulnerable to it. All right, Tuna, how about another musical break? Maybe this this time something a little jazier? Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Alright, we got another question this one's from Sydney who writes, dear John and Hank, my name is Sydney and I'm in high school and yesterday on the bus someone I don't know asked me for a piece of paper which I gave to them and then a few minutes later this person turned and gave me a tiny plastic baby.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Now Sydney, I am pretty sure I know where this tiny plastic baby came from which is one of the reasons I wanted to answer your question. But I'm going to finish the question. They didn't say anything. They just gave me the little baby. And I said, thank you. I'm still so confused. What do I do with the baby? What about this person I met? Are we just friends now? Dubies' advice is appreciated, not the place in Australia. Sydney. I knew that Sydney because my mother is also named Sydney. PS, my mom is a high school history teacher and we both really appreciate your Crash Course videos. Thank you, Sydney, and please say hi and thank you to your mom as well.
Starting point is 00:22:14 And a big thank you to all educators everywhere right now and also all librarians everywhere right now. Like, it is not an easy time to have any job, but it seems like an especially challenging time to have those jobs. So thank you, thank you for doing the hard and important work to create young people who have a better understanding of themselves in the universe.
Starting point is 00:22:44 What are we gonna do about this baby? This tiny plastic baby. So Sidney, here's my theory. So there's this special kind of cake. It's big in New Orleans. I don't know if you're from New Orleans, you might not be, but it's big in New Orleans and it's called a king cake. And I have a suspicion.
Starting point is 00:23:01 I might be wrong, but I have a suspicion that your tiny plastic baby, which used to be this other person's tiny plastic baby, came from a king cake, just based on when you sent your question in. So this is a kind of cake. It's big in New Orleans in the US, but I also know they make them in other places. And it's a sort of cake. It's, I don't really like the taste of the cake, but that's neither here nor there.
Starting point is 00:23:24 The point is that there is a tiny plastic baby in this cake. I think it's supposed to represent the tiny baby Jesus if I understand it correctly, but at any rate, the idea is that if you get the piece of the cake that has the tiny plastic baby in it, you get a prize. And when I was a kid and even into adulthood, I would eat these cakes because my mother is from the south and went to school in New Orleans. I would eat these cakes, and the whole time I would just, I would be closing my eyes and I would just be thinking, please God, anything but the tiny plastic baby. The thing I most don't want is to bite into this cake and discover a tiny plastic baby Jesus.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Like, that is a nightmare scenario for me. Even if you win a prize, I don't want the prize. I want to have a piece of cake that doesn't have a tiny plastic baby. So I think my suspended, most tiny plastic babies in this world, at least that I have seen, come from King Kicks. So what I think happened is this person, quote unquote, won the prize, ended up with a tiny
Starting point is 00:24:36 plastic baby. They've got this tiny plastic baby, they're carrying around in their pocket, they need a piece of paper, you give them a piece of paper, which by the way is very generous of you. You didn't ask anything in exchange. It was a pure gift that came from the best possible place. This person took the piece of paper back to their part of the bus and then used it in whatever way they needed to use it. And then they thought to themselves, what an extraordinary gift I've just been given with no expectation of any kind of return. A person I barely know gave unto me something of theirs. That is so lovely. I am so grateful. How will I express this gratitude?
Starting point is 00:25:14 And then they felt in their pocket the tiny plastic baby Jesus from the King cake, and they thought, I will give freely of myself unto this person. So they walked up, they gave you the tiny plastic baby. Now this is the point up until now, this has been an amazing exchange. Everyone has won capitalism, the fundamental idea of it has been challenged because people are doing things that they have No financial incentive whatsoever to do. It's a beautiful exchange of gifts between two lovely people But now I think that the person who gave you the tiny baby Jesus from the King cake made a Significant mistake which is that they handed you the
Starting point is 00:26:06 tiny plastic baby and then they walked away. What they should have said is, here is a tiny plastic baby from a King Cake that I want to give to you because I am grateful for your gift. Actually, now that I'm saying that out loud, maybe the best thing was just to give the tiny plastic baby Jesus to Sydney and walk away. Maybe that, maybe everything went perfectly, actually, Sydney. Maybe things went exactly as they should have gone. And now, now, you are at the beginning of an amazing friendship, potentially like a game-changing friendship. Like you're at the beginning of a buddy comedy
Starting point is 00:26:49 friendship or it could be a romantic comedy friendship. It could be, it could be a suspenseful drama kind of friendship. I don't know the kind of friendship, but I know that it's extraordinary because of the way that it began. So yes, you are friends with this person, and you should play them this part of Dear Hank and John, and laugh about it together, and discuss where that tiny plastic baby Jesus came from. And if indeed, at one point, it was in that person's mouth, in which case I hope that they washed the crap out of it before they gave it to you, but at any rate, I think you should have that conversation after listening to this section of the podcast.
Starting point is 00:27:27 And Sydney, we fully expect an update on what kind of buddy movie it turns out you to are in. I love this question. I love this story. I wish Hank were here to enjoy it with me. In fact, that reminds me that today's podcast is brought to you by tiny plastic baby Jesus, tiny plastic baby Jesus.
Starting point is 00:27:50 It's hard for me to get excited about having a piece of cake with you inside of it. Additionally, today's podcast is brought to you by Hank Green, Hank Green, unavailable. And of course, today's podcast is brought to you by COVID. COVID, making this show a one-man band for the first time ever. And God, hopefully the last time. And today's podcast is brought to you by Emily's Thoughts.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Emily's Thoughts, you're not going to run out of them. We also have a project for awesome message from Kerber. And this is a challenging one. I'm not going to gonna sugarcoded friends. This is not gonna be an easy minute for any of us. I don't know much about words, so here are some words from people I love. Saudeid, Abercadabra, Lylex, Dreams, yes. Anti-disestablishmentarianism, Indigo shadows, unequivocal resilience,
Starting point is 00:28:42 scandalist, Sassafras, Sumpshuas, Roli, Polly, Petrocore, Morangivocal resilience, scandalous sassafras, sumptuous roly-poly, petro-core meringue crumbl, tontine, radiant haberdashery, color, arrow, earthlove, spring, flower-sleep, chantrell, possum on a half-shell, seme, clementine crumbl, history,akzilla, Shimmering guacamole, Technomancer booty judge, Serendipity, Luminary, Viking, Dragonfly Wiggies, Bollyar, Michaela, Napsack, Unoya, Swallow Music, Snuffleupagus, Proposterous Family, Sunshine Time, Love Comp, love composition, trust, adventure food. What a great collection of words, Kerber. I think my favorite is Earth Love. A word that I've never heard before, but I think should be like a quasi religious focus of our species for the next few decades, at least, of our species for the next few decades, at least, Earthlove. Earthlove. That's lovely. So many of them were lovely, but Earthlove was so good I have to
Starting point is 00:29:52 Google it. Oh, of course it's a subscription service. You know what really loves the Earth? Only subscribing to things you need. All right, before we get to the all important news from AFC Wimbledon and to a lesser extent Mars, let's answer this one from Lena who writes, dear John and Hank, sorry to be such a downer, but how do you do anything when it feels like the world is ending all the time and nobody with the power to actually prevent it from ending is doing anything about it? How can I continue to feel motivated to compete my silly university degree when environmental scientists keep saying
Starting point is 00:30:28 that we have 10 or 15 good years left until the environment is so messed up that things are revocably bad. I can't stop memento-moreying Lena. We get a lot of questions along this line and this is something that Hank and I have thought a lot about and we've been working to address in a meaningful way with our community.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Hank calls this the sad gap that there's a time in between when you find out about a problem and find out about the scope and breadth of the problem and the time when you can kind of journey through the complexity of that problem to begin to imagine some of the ways that we will address it. So the environment will be irrevocably harmed in the next 10 or 15 years. It was also irrevocably harmed in the previous 15 years. But this isn't going to be by any stretch of the imagination, the human story, and nothing about the future is set. As Margaret Atwood beautifully wrote, very little about history is inevitable.
Starting point is 00:31:31 And I really believe that. And I also really believe that we are seeing changes. For the first time in the last 10 years, economic productivity has been decoupled from carbon emissions. That is a huge change. It indicates that further change is possible without dramatically shortening the quality or length of human life. We have seen, since I graduated from high school, Lena, the chance that a child will die before the age of five has declined by more than 50% globally. Kids are twice as likely today to survive to adulthood as they were when I was a teenager. And so I think that there is absolutely cause for despair. I have never been as worried about the human situation as I am right now.
Starting point is 00:32:26 And I don't want to be all polyanna-ish about it and say, like, the problems aren't real or the problems aren't potentially catastrophic or aren't even likely catastrophic. What I do want to say and what I really, really believe is that we can make change. We can't make it alone, but we can make it together. Like, I understand why, and I often feel this way, even with, you know, a lot of power, and I'm conscious of the fact that I'm coming at this conversation from a really privileged position, but like, I often feel powerless in the face of these changes. Like, as I wrote in the Anthropocene Reviewed book, like, how am I going to do something
Starting point is 00:33:04 about the problem of deforestation when I can't even get my kids to eat breakfast and it's a struggle to get them to school on time? But the answer is that I'm going to help my kids eat breakfast and I'm going to get them to school on time and through the way that I spend money, through the way that I vote, through the way that I live my life, through my values, I'm also going to try to do something about deforestation. And we all, none of us have enough power to solve these problems on our own. And I certainly share your frustration that a lot of the people with the most power seem uninterested in solving them or uninterested in settling people on the sacrifices that are
Starting point is 00:33:39 necessary to solve them. But we all have some power. And we can work together to create real change. And I know that because I've seen it, I've seen it over the last, you know, the decades that I've been an adult, I've seen meaningful improvement in a lot of areas in life. Now I've seen places where things got worse too. But if I look at the long arc of history, if I look at how things were 500 or 800 or 1200 years ago, I think that things on average are better for people, and I think that they can be better still.
Starting point is 00:34:10 And so I understand feeling despair, but I really believe that despair never tells the whole human story, and the real work that needs to be done, not just to solve, address the climate crisis, but to address the other big problems that we share, healthcare inequity, economic inequality, to address the scourge of poverty. That's not easy. The work is complicated. People in good faith disagree
Starting point is 00:34:40 about how best to achieve our aims. But I think getting into the nitty gritty of that work, getting into the complexity of it is, for me anyway, like where the real fulfillment comes and where the despair kind of stops. So that's my kind of selfish motivation for wanting to do what I can in the areas where I feel like I can make a difference,
Starting point is 00:35:04 which for us is in child and maternal health to do what I can in the areas where I feel like I can make a difference, which, you know, for us is in child and maternal health in the most impoverished communities in the world. There is the motivation to want a more just world, but there's also the motivation to not want to feel mere despair, to want to feel like I'm doing something. And so that's what motivates me. And I really, I've never been more sympathetic to despair, believe me, but I continue to think that it's not the whole truth.
Starting point is 00:35:34 Okay, Hey Tuna, how about one last music break? I like that one. Alright, it's time for the all-important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. Beginning with the news from AFC Wimbledon, which is not great, but that's standard at this point. AFC Wimbledon still have not won a game in 2022. And they are running out of games with which to win this season, very frustrating, very frustrating draw at Plow Lane against Milton Keynes over the weekend. I mean, Milton Keynes are in second place in the in League 1 and are likely to be promoted up to the second tier of English football. And so in that sense, getting a tie is a good result, but not beating them is always a discouragement.
Starting point is 00:36:51 And we don't need to talk about the behavior of their fans and how a bunch of their fans got arrested for being utterly without class. We can just talk about what happened in the game, which is that it was a one-1 draw. With four games left in the season, AFC Wimbledon now are in 22nd place, which might sound hopeless, except we are only three points away from being in 19th place. So if we can win a couple, maybe three, maybe two of those last four games, we might just pull off another miracle. Now this is, this would be the most miraculous of all of AFC Wimbleden's five miraculous savings from relegation because there has been very little evidence since January 1st that this team can win a game, if we're being honest
Starting point is 00:37:54 with ourselves. But I mean, if we win two, maybe three of our last four games, I think we will stay up. It's just whether we can do that Because again, we have not won a game in 2022 four games to go Hank will be coming back just in time to console me and or Perhaps somehow celebrate yet another miracle in Mars news week, some very exciting news from our friend, the Perseverance Rover, having such a huge fan of Perseverance like both the value system and the Rover. On Soul 404, the 404th Martian Day that Perseverance has been on Mars. Perseverance has spotted for the first time
Starting point is 00:38:48 its own parachute. It found the parachute that it used to land so comfortably and safely on Mars so that it could drive around and be the semi-autonomous vehicle that it is. So there is an image that perseverance has taken of its own parachute kind of floating and fluttering in the distance. And then beyond that, you can see like yet another set of Martian mountains. I just find looking at the Perseverance images phenomenally beautiful. They're just, I mean, first off, the camera's really good. Like, it's significantly better than the first Rover camera was. And Mars, I mean, it doesn't look fun. It looks a little bit like the movie Dune, the recent one.
Starting point is 00:39:42 But it is really, really beautiful. So I'm very grateful to my brother for introducing me to the beauty of Mars. I don't think otherwise I ever would have found out about it. Life is like that sometimes. Speaking of my brother, God, I miss him, and God, I look forward to reuniting with him next week. Thank you all so much for listening to this, the one, and God help me, hopefully only one man band episode of Dear Hank and John. Today's podcast was edited by the incredibly hardworking, especially today Joseph Duna Mettish is produced by Rosiana Halls Rojas. Our head of community and communications is Julia Balloum. Our editorial assistant is to Boca Chocobardi and the music that you're hearing now
Starting point is 00:40:26 and at the beginning of the podcast is by the great Gunnarola. Thank you all again for listening and as they say in my hometown, don't forget to be awesome. you

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