Dear Hank & John - 369: Now It Gets German (w/Sarah Urist Green!)
Episode Date: April 24, 2023Where does the word delete come from? How do I maintain friendships in a difficult time? Do humans undergo physiological changes along with seasons? Could a potato take a picture? How do I do stuff at... college? Why do we do what we do? What shoes are best at deflecting cleats? What's the deal with tuberculosis? John and Sarah Urist Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnÂ
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to Dear John and Sarah. Or as I like to call it Dear John and Sarah
because I like to follow an alphabetical arrangement of names.
Why have you submitted to your husband? No. It's a podcast where we provide dubious advice
to answer all your questions and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars
Which is a cold dead rock in space and aFC Wimbledon, which is a cold dead football club in South London Sarah?
Yes, what do you think about when you think about what's going on with aFC Wimbledon?
Uh-huh, and when you think about the biggest problem at the club being let's face it a lack of
the biggest problem at the club being, let's face it, a lack of investment outside investment. Think about what Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElene did for Rexham.
Yes.
Are you putting me on the spot in a public venue in order to get me to commit more of our
personal funds to your team?
Our team. But yes, sorry, finish your question. Don't you feel like
people who are in a position to give more? Yes. Should. Well, I disagree with the framework of
the question. I think the biggest problems facing AFC Wimbledon are climate
change and divisive politics. So, you know, and unequal access to healthcare. That's a
big one that you've met a lot. That's right. So I'm going to go ahead and focus on those
things as a way to make whatever small impact we can.
And did I also tell you that I don't offer dubious advice?
Oh, you offer good advice.
I offer good advice.
You're in a good advice question.
Ernest Ernest advice.
Ernest good advice.
Well, let me ask you this question.
Yes.
Here's a question from Lindsay who writes,
Dear John and Sarah,
I was thinking about the Quarty Keyboard layout
after a trivia night last week and got to wondering, where did the
word delete come from?
Did it exist before the digital age?
Was it at the same time as Quarty?
I can't fathom an application of the word that doesn't involve a computer, not like Lohan Lindsay. Well, doesn't it have to do with like deleterious, like the comes from Latin?
Yeah, you don't need the word.
It is deleterious to your argument.
You should delete it.
These are related words, absolutely.
Yes.
There are, I think it speaks to how radically technology has changed our lives within my lifetime
that a lot of young people today cannot fathom a use of the word delete outside of tech.
Yeah.
But there are lots of things that were deleted before words were deleted by the delete key.
Right?
before words were deleted by the delete key.
Right? Sure. Yes. So the first reference to like deleting a word from a manuscript comes from around 1600. So whereabouts of Shakespeare? I like to, when it comes to English, define things,
whereabouts of Shakespeare, post Shakespeare, prep. Hmm. This seems very Eurocentric.
Well, English is a rather Eurocentric language, not now, but it is, it was historically.
I feel like spicy today.
Yeah, it's really, so it's from around Shakespeare's time, we've been deleting things for a long
time.
Even before we had the word, we used to blot things out, destroy, eradicate things, etc.
Yes. lot things out, destroy, eradicate things, et cetera. Yes, to-dob comma, a race by smudging, as of the wax on a writing table.
Imagine how horrible it would have been to be a writer in the days where you had to
like, doob.
Doob.
Or even on a typewriter.
Even on a typewriter.
It hasn't been that long. No, I even on a typewriter. Like even on a typewriter. It hasn't been that long.
No, I wrote on a typewriter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's very hard.
But kind of fun.
I don't find it fun at all.
No.
Actually.
Okay. All right.
It's not fun for me.
I find it like very time consuming.
Yeah.
Like I wrote my college applications on a typewriter.
Did you?
I did.
Yeah.
I did. Yeah, I did. But I answered one of the questions
by making a collage in Photoshop.
Are you serious?
Yeah, Photoshop back then?
It was early, but yes, they sure did.
They sure did.
All right, we got another question from Anne.
It's a good one for Sarah to answer.
Dear John and Sarah, I'm in the middle of a depressive episode. My doctor is adjusting my medication and I'm starting therapy again,
but I know it might be a while till I'm back to normal or neutral.
Neutral is better than normal.
Yes.
And your word was better than mine.
Yes.
How do I keep up my friendships in the meantime?
Oh God, and I don't know.
I try to focus on my friends, so I don't have to talk so much,
but they're good friends and they want to know how I am too.
They know about my depression and I don't want to lie, but I don't want to also keep saying
nothing new here.
I'm still depressed, but I appreciate you asking thanks in advance.
I overthink therefore I.
And that's great.
Anyway, and this actually reminds me of a conversation that we just had with our good friends.
Yeah.
Chris and Marina, where we were talking about how you cultivate good friendships
and it wasn't just about giving, which is important,
but about having that back and forth flow.
So I understand the real struggle
of not being able to maintain friendships,
because it does take work.
It does.
Like in relationship.
And like it really, for a friend,
they're not gonna get a lot of satisfaction
out of just talking about themselves if they're a good friend.
You know, they do wanna hear about you.
Right.
But they don't wanna just hear about how you're doing, right?
Like that's not the only part of a friend.
That's true.
So I've been going through a rough patch mental health wise,
also have had an adjustment of medications.
I'm in a not dissimilar boat.
It sounds like Ann.
And so I've been observing this as well, thinking about it,
because I have this, I have a similar feeling, which is like,
I should probably just retreat. I'm unpleasant to be around. so like why wouldn't I just like take a step back and
not engage with people because I make their lives worse when I'm engaging with them. And that's not
quite real. Like that's something that's happening inside of my mind that may not be their experience
of it. And you had a good friend who recently took you for a kayak ride.
Yeah.
So like do something, you know?
Yeah.
So he knew that I was kind of in a bad spot.
And he wasn't like, let's call and talk through your feelings because he knows that the
feelings, I mean, I agree with you, and it's pretty monotonous, right?
Like, you wake up and you feel the same way you did yesterday and the way you felt yesterday wasn't good and the way you feel today isn't good.
And you feel like probably tomorrow's going to be the same. And like, there's nothing to report.
It's just, it's like painful, but in a very uninteresting way.
Is how I feel about it anyway. And but the great thing about my friend being like,
hey, let's go for a kayak, right? I didn't want to.
And then initially I actually was like, I can't do it that day.
And he was like, great, let's do it next week.
I can do any of these four days.
And I was like, oh, man.
But then it was so good for me.
And we didn't just talk about how I was doing, although we did talk about that.
And we, you know, and he was able to empathize and listen and everything.
But we also talked about lots of other stuff,
like what the river looked like,
and plans for a big trip that he wants to take.
And all kinds of other stuff, we talked about his work,
we talked about my work.
Like we talked about family,
it's just sort of like when you're doing something together,
even if it's a walk in the park or something,
you can just talk about the trees.
Or even something that doesn't involve talking necessarily.
Yeah.
You could go to a movie, do a puzzle that involves some talking,
but have you seen the one that has two arms, two legs,
and a little knobby hit?
It's more like referencing something.
Is that how you describe puzzle pieces?
Two arms, two legs and a little knobby head?
No, some of them, sometimes they're people.
The ones that have two arms, two legs and a little knobby head.
That's how you describe them.
Yeah.
In the North, a major puzzle shapes.
Tell me the other ones.
No, no.
All legs.
All legs, four legs. Have you seen one that has four legs? For all arms, like a No, no. No, all legs. All legs, four legs.
Have you seen one that has four legs?
For all arms, like a-
All arms.
What do you think of them as all legs?
What else?
This is great.
This is gold.
No, I don't know.
I'm just, I'm just, anyway.
But you know, you could do like a yoga class together.
Sure.
If you're into that kind of thing.
And, but if you're anything like I am when I'm depressed, that's what you could go to a
free event at your local library. Gallery opening.
Reading at your local library. Talk about the art you don't like.
You know, like there's lots of things I think you can do that can
deepen a friendship while not necessarily involving talking about your feelings.
And we know all that stuff is hard. We don't want it to sound like it's not hard.
No, no, it is. We just think it's worth doing. There's also a puzzle piece.
And I don't mean to run past your question, Anne, that I think of as being shaped like one of those
throwing stars. Yeah, that might be all eggs, though. Oh, that's what you call that all eggs.
stars. Yeah, that might be all legs though. Oh, that's what you're you call that all legs.
Maybe. You know, there was a massive argument in the Tetris community as like classical Tetris became a bigger deal over how we were going to describe the pieces because
everybody in their own world had developed their own descriptions of piece shapes. When what are
they? What are now? It's been sort of systematized to square eyepiece, which is the long bar.
Yeah.
J.
Yeah, I know.
Which is like that.
Right.
And is it?
Well, what's the boop boop boop boop boop boop.
That's like a z-piece.
Yeah.
Z.
Yeah.
But there's more in it.
But there's more than one z-piece, right?
There's the one that goes z, and then there's the one that goes the other way.
That's on its side. I can't remember what they call that one.
And then the one they call Z and N.
And maybe. And then there's the T piece, which is like, you know,
three down. The one that looks like a two.
Yeah, that's the good one. T piece is overwhelmingly my favorite of the Tetris pieces.
It is. It is. Yeah, okay. Well, cool.
Gotta love Tetris. Yeah, you could play Tetris with a friend. Yeah, play Tetris with play Tetris pieces. It is. Yeah, okay. Well, cool. Gotta love Tetris. Yeah, you could play Tetris with a friend.
Yeah, play Tetris will play Tetris.
Online. You don't even have to like go anywhere.
They got a game called Tetris 100. It's like Fortnite, but for Tetris.
This question comes from V. Dear John and Sarah, do humans have any physiological changes we undergo
as the seasons go by? Every spring my cats shed their winter fur by the handful, and it got me to wondering
whether we have anything comparable.
Maybe I'm forgetting something obvious,
or maybe there's something really subtle that happens.
I know the question of whether humans have pheromones
is a complicated one, but is there
something that reliably, measurably changes
about the human body in any particular season?
Is there a human equivalent of growing a summer coat
or are all
ours artificial like tanning or shaving or very real but not universal like seasonal depression?
Axial tilt and antlers V. I mean, I of course think about the reproductive system,
which isn't like quarterly, but more monthly or roughly so.
But it's not seasonal in the sense that it doesn't respond to heat and cold and wetness
and rhinos does it? I mean, maybe it does. I'm not an expert, y'all.
No, but I mean, I guess like seasons, yeah, so it has to be about whether adaptations, but not.
But the other thing to remember is that seasonality,
as we conceive of it, is not universal, right?
In Sierra Leone, people don't talk about summer spring,
winter fall, they talk about rainy season drops.
Rainy and dry, right.
That's the case in a lot of the world.
Right. And so, and then you have a place like New York, They talk about rainy season drugs. Rainy and dry. That's the case in a lot of the world.
Right.
And then you have a place like New York,
it's going to say New York Los Angeles,
the New York of California, where,
I mean, what else?
Is it the San Francisco?
You're right.
You're right.
Yeah, you're right.
LA is kind of like the Miami. The Miami of California.
The West Coast. No. I think if it is sort of being the Indian
apolis of the West. Yeah. No, that's like Sacramento.
Anyway, let's move on here. Yeah, so seasons, uh, seasons are relying on where in LA
on our issue are there are no seasons and people now label tell you that there are seasons
They'll be like, oh no, it's like six degrees warmer. Right. We have different wins or whatever they are no seasons functionally
But the human body does adapt to your environment. You know what I'm saying like I remember when I went to summer camp in
Alabama growing up. Yeah, and like I'd get there and because I was so used to air conditioning,
I was super hot at the beginning. And then by the time I left, I had sort of
adjusted to the extreme heat and humidity, humidity so much so that when I went home into my
air conditioned house, I was freezing.
Interesting.
Yeah.
So, I mean, I think you do get used to it.
I don't know.
I don't know, man.
I've lived in Indianapolis for 15 years.
And just today, I was walking through like that sideways freezing rain that we have, you
know, where it appears to be coming up from the ground
because the wind is so extreme.
Sorry, I started crying.
I'm so upset about the, about wintery mix in April.
It's not fair.
Oh, it is April.
April is the coolest month.
Oh God, it's so true.
What do you mean by that?
Do we know?
We'd have to look it up where wins and something
Wings and wheels
Shoot you lively and less your poetry memory is just incredible
It's the beginning of the wasteland, right? I don't remember what poem. It's from April is the coolest month
Best begins one of the most important pieces of modern poetry ever written
Yeah, April is a cruelest month. Best begins one of the most important pieces
of modern poetry ever written.
T.S. Eliot's the Wasteland.
From part one, the burial of the dead.
April is the cruelest month,
breeding lilacs out of the dead land,
mixing memory and desire,
stirring dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering earth in forgetful snow,
feeding a little life with dried tubers.
Summer surprised us,
coming over the Starnsburgersi. Starnsburgersi? It's best to. Starnsburgersi. You got to take it
way out just like you did the first time. Starnsburgersi. You don't know what you're talking about.
Coming over the Starnsburgersi. Perfect. With a shower of rain, we stopped in the colonnade
and went on in sunlight into the
Hofgarten and drank coffee and talked for an hour.
No, it gets German, so we're going to stop there.
Yeah, we're going to stop there.
So, April is a cruelest month,
breeding lilacs out of the dead land.
That doesn't seem that cruel.
Seems like it is.
I think about contrast, like breeding something beautiful out of out of the death and
to darkness. But why is that cruel? Because the good and the bad are so closely juxtaposed. You go
from wintry mix to like glorious, beautiful spring. Okay. That's my reading. Having, having
listen to you read that so beautifully. My big conclusion is
that there must be some physiological changes because at least according to T. S. Eliot, one of
the major poets of the 20th century, Winter kept us warm, covering Earth and forgetful snow
and summer surprised us. So we had different physiological reactions, one paradoxically of warmth in the
cold and the other of surprise in the summer. So the answer to your question is yes, and
I will not be dealing with any further. Maybe Hank could follow up on the next.
No, I don't want, I don't want an answer from Hank. I want an answer from us. Hank is not
available. Okay. Dear John and Sarah, on the internet, a seemingly common joke about a low-res image is that the
pick is potato quality, but could a person take a picture with a potato?
Like layer on light receptive chemicals on the surface or the inside of a potato and
take a picture.
Is it possible?
My cat says hi, Sarah.
It's a camera obscura, right?
I think they mean a print, not kind of potato,
but comma camera.
But could it become the surfec?
Could it be a medium onto which a photo could be rendered?
Right?
Let's get the question.
Okay.
You can include that, Tuna.
Sarah, we respect your question and we don't know.
It's a great question.
It would be really cool to print a photo.
I'm feeling Hanks abs.
I'm feeling Hanks abs is a big one.
Yeah, again, I'm sorry.
I know, we really need Hank here. But I think it would be, it would be really beautiful Feeling Hanks abs. I'm feeling Hanks abs is a big one. I'm sorry.
I know, we really need Hank here,
but I think it would be.
It would be really beautiful to print a photograph
on a very thinly sliced potato.
I would be into that.
Yeah.
Okay, okay.
This question comes from Kate.
Oh, glorious greens.
I am doing my first year of college
and I don't know how to do anything.
I don't feel like I can commit to anything, college, not college, invest in a job, have
a job just for the money.
I guess just things that come from deep desires and goals.
I have neither of these.
I try and let myself be pulled by the winds of my values, but largely it's just seeing my way through with Lexa Pro, please advise not a crab Kate.
Yeah. So.
So don't, I mean, I think Kate has accurately identified
the human condition.
Well, certainly the human condition
of being in your first year of college, right?
Like, I don't know how to do anything
and I don't feel like I can commit to anything
is still how I feel a lot of the time, but it's how I felt basically all of the time when I was that age,
where there's like this infinite number of things you could do.
Too many things.
Too many clubs.
Too many jobs, too many majors, too many classes, too many opportunities that aren't classes.
Too many passionate people around you.
Right. And then you have some percentage of people
who know exactly what they want to do.
And they want to be doctors or lawyers or whatever.
And they're taking all of the doctoring classes.
Or that's what they say and have decided.
They don't actually know.
Maybe they don't.
Some of them do.
I've never been one of them.
I don't know what it's like to be them.
Well, but we know plenty of people who decided at some point in life that they wanted to
be a blank and then they do all the things to become a blank.
And then they become a blank and they're like, oh, is this all there is?
I know.
I mean, I'm married to one such person.
And one such person is married to me, I think.
So it's difficult.
It's really difficult, but I think what's difficult about it at that age, in some ways,
it's a bummer that I will never be a doctor, right?
In some ways, it's a bummer that I will never be a TB researcher because I discovered
my passion for tuberculosis in
query later in life and also because I suck at chemistry.
In some ways, it's sad that I will never be a Mr. Beast style YouTuber who makes fast-paced
stuff for the people.
It's sad to me.
I would love Sarah. I would be happy if
only I had a hundred million subscribers.
Okay. I think we're getting away from Kate. Oh, I forgot. You're dubious. I'm earnest.
Exactly. You got confused. So my point is that as you get older, in some ways, that
stuff is sad. In some ways, it's really a relief because that sort of
like infinite possibility that was all that kind of crushed you when you were like 19, where
God, I could be any of these things, which one should I be? I don't know which one to be, it was sort
of terrifying and overwhelming, like I don't have that anymore. Because I know the thing
approximately, I don't know all of them, but I know most of the things I'm going to be.
Well, yeah, life can surprise you though. And like what I like about your description, Kate, as I try and let myself be pulled
by the winds of my values, because they are winds. They're winds that come up against reality. Yeah.
And not just like a cold, hard reality, but the reality of your college
situation and like what you need in terms of like whether you need to earn income, whether
you have time to join blank club or do whatever. And so you have it, all they are is wins. Right. Right. That are informed by whatever you end
up doing. But at a certain point, like, I mean, I, I would almost embrace how random those decisions
are because like, you know, maybe you throw a dart at the list of activities or whatever,
and are like, you John Cage it and say, I'm going to do,
I'm going to join whatever club I close my eyes and put my finger on the screen too.
You know what I mean? Or whoever asks me at the student center.
But when it comes to big questions,
like, should I go to college or not go to college,
should I stay in college or leave college?
I do think that it's not totally an act of randomness, right?
Like, I think you've got to kind of play the odds
a little bit.
Yeah, well Kate is doing,
Kate's first year of college.
I don't feel like I can commit to anything college or not college.
Right.
So they are making that decision.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
So yeah.
But sometimes you just have to make one decision to build on others.
And be okay with it not necessarily like being the most thoroughly considered.
Well, and be okay with it, shutting out other options.
Right.
Because actually shutting out other options is an essential part of growing up.
But it's scary.
Yeah, it sucks.
It's scary, but it's, it ends up being good news most of the time, I think.
Yeah.
And as you say, like, there's actually a lot of life left.
We have a friend who worked in advertising until he was 40 years old and then became a nurse.
And is a great nurse.
And that's sometimes the way that it goes in life.
So I would just encourage you to, I mean, I always want to say stay
in school because that's like the way I was taught, but I don't know if that's always the right call
Kate. Like, we're all just doing our best here. But nobody knows how to do anything and not alone in
that feeling. But sometimes it wasn't it, uh, uh, sister Kareeta Kent, the art-making nun who said,
like, sometimes you have to choose a place to stay and then stay there for a little while.
You know, like, and Kareeta Kent was talking about art, you know, as a way to like
plant in some kind of practice and then, for a short time and long enough to see where it goes.
Right, because no matter what, the first year of college is really hard in the second year.
Oh, yeah.
In the third year is easier than that, and the fourth year is easier than that.
I think it's fine to place to trust and then stay in one.
Yes, yes.
Yeah.
Find a place to trust and try trusting it for a little while.
Yeah, so that's what I would say is if you can find a place
to trust, or even if you glimpse the possibility of finding
of being in a place that you might be
able to trust in the future, do try to stay there for a while.
Yeah, good luck, Kate.
You're going to need it because 99.99% of life is luck. Is that a good way to go? No.
It's true though. Can I ask this question about being a... Yes. A moth? Sure.
Because it'll... Do you know my favorite joke? Yeah, I do. Have you heard the one about the moth?
I've heard it and I'm sure this audience has as well at least once.
Goes into a pediatrist office.
Yes, I've heard.
Yeah.
Do you remember what the moth says?
The light was on.
Well, you skipped the whole setup and went straight to the punch.
I know.
It's almost like you don't want me to tell the joke again.
I ruined it.
Say, Error writes, if we're all just moths flying toward the light and no one knows
whether we're really making decisions or just responding to stimuli, why do I constantly do things that
are not helpful to me? Like, why do I stay up an hour later instead of going to bed when
I'm tired or drink soda instead of water when I'm thirsty? And why is it that sometimes
I do drink water or go to sleep on time, but not always? Are there just a ton of metaphorical
lights shining on us all at once? And which light is it the one that makes me feel like I have to be doing something every minute of every day?
Because I'd like to turn that one off.
Sarah.
Well, the thing about the monster.
So many Sarah's today.
I know.
The thing about the monster jokes are that it's a little bit of an oversimplification, like a lot of jokes.
I don't think life is as simple as we're always just flying toward the light.
And also, I think you're right that there are lots and lots of lights, right?
Like the TikTok corporation is a light and it wants you to fly toward it.
And that might be why you stay up later one night than you do another night.
And the Dr. Pepper Snapple Curring Corporation is a light and they want you to have a soda instead
of water. In fact, they sort of want you to have a soda instead of water.
In fact, they sort of want you to doubt that water is safe, so that you will consume more
and more Dr. Pepper curing snapple beverages.
And at the same time, you're getting lots of other messages to tell you that like you
should drink water, and you should go to bed at 10 p.m.
And so I think that the ways that were responded to stimuli
are extremely complicated. We need to remember that and remember how much uncertainty there
is in all of this. Like the other day Hank was at the doctor and the doctor was like,
yada yada yada. How are you feeling? Do you understand how your ulcerative colitis medication works.
And Hank was like, no, I don't.
And I'm not convinced that you do either
because we are trillions of chemical reactions
happening all at the same time.
And I'm not sure that we have a full understanding
of the situation in which we find ourselves.
Hank's, he's stopped talking about being a person,
which I think is really interesting,
and he started referring to himself as being whatever it is
that I am.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I think of this,
I have a little bit of a different view of this question
because I think we tend to do whatever's easiest, okay?
So, and sometimes, but you do have,
you can set up your life
so that the easier thing to do is what your goal is.
So I plug my phone in at night in the bathroom
so that I can't scroll in bed, number one.
And so that when my alarm goes off, I have to get up and out of bed.
And then it's easier for me to stay up than it is to hit snooze and get back in bed.
So, and then do it again because it's that getting up
that's so hard.
So after the band aids pull off.
So I also know that opening a can of lacroy
is easy, is easier than getting out of cap
and putting some ice in it and putting some water in it.
So I filled some empty bottles with filtered water
and I keep them in the fridge.
And I made that.
And I don't mean this.
It's like the key to life is to do it up.
But I do think that we tend to do whatever's easiest.
No, I really appreciate those life hacks
going with Paltrow.
Oh, come now.
Do you have a, hey, I can't believe you're getting an IV
right now that's so on brand for you.
Is it have like vitamin E and a yellow in it?
No, it's sour cream.
It's exactly just burritos.
Yeah.
It's just sort of like munched up burritos.
Yeah.
So I agree with that, but here's the thing, Sarah.
Like, even when you do that, you are flying to the light.
You did not invent the idea, but I'm admitting that tap water is better for you than a la croix. You did not
and better for the earth. It's actually more better for the earth than it is better for you.
You didn't invent the idea that like you need to be separated from your phone in order to
sleep better. Right. And so you're you're still flying to a light. Like, yes. My argument is that like, you can't separate your so-called, like, rugged individuality,
your consciousness, the rest of the shared consciousness of humanity, or at least of your,
like, particular community. Yeah. No, I see that. But I think acknowledging
how impressionable we are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. And then trying to be thoughtful about how we're going to be
impressioned, right? Trying to be careful about it. Right.
That's why I listen to the Goop podcast every week. I do so that I can, so that I can
get a different world view. Actually, that reminds me that today's podcast,
this episode of Dear Hank and John
is brought to you by Goop.
Is it?
Goop.
Oh.
Yeah, it's our official sponsor.
Oh, gosh.
We will accept money from, I mean, anybody,
especially for the fake sponsors.
Well, I'm glad I've already eaten quite a bit today.
This podcast is also brought to us by the word delete. It existed before the
personal computer, and it shall probably exist probably not after the personal computer.
But that's a good one. You don't think so? I don't know. Now this is exactly the kind of
like CBD. This is the kind of like natural, friendly conversations
that sponsors always want.
They do.
So you're welcome to the delete key
for giving you that kind of high quality ad read.
Yes.
And of course today's podcast is additionally brought to you
by not knowing what the heck you are doing in life.
Not knowing what the heck you're doing in life.
You know, for somebody
with such a...
It's underrated.
I don't know.
I think it's appropriately rated.
I think it's difficult, but I hear it.
This episode of Dear John and Sarah is also brought to us by April, the crulist month.
Yeah.
It really is.
You have a great voice for radio.
Thank you.
So do you.
You know it, though.
Do you think that you could sneak in a
reading of that Franco-Hara phone? Which one? Having a coke with you? Yeah. Into this episode?
Yeah. Do you think we're like far enough in that we're not going to get copyright struck on it?
No, I don't. I've talked to Margaret O'Hara, the sister of the very talented poet and curator, Franco
Hara.
But I encourage everyone listening to go Google right now, having a Coke with you by
Franco Hara and read it.
It's lovely.
All right, Sarah.
Before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, I want to ask you
a football question from Theran, who writes, hello, I have somehow been talked into refereeing Peewee soccer games,
despite the entirety of my football knowledge coming from listening to this podcast.
Well, that's all you need, Ranley Farron.
You can, as long as you, as long as you know who are you, Bissol and Oli Al-Hamedi are,
you'll be just fine.
Our first games of the season went pretty well, and then our, our second games were one by
soggy pitch.
Oh, the most, in
both Peeley Soccer and League 2 Soccer, it truly is one of the most formidable enemies.
Here's the question, what shoes should I wear to better protect my toes from being squashed
by cleats so many times while still being able to run fast enough, icing bruised little piggies, Farron.
That is tough.
Don't you think you should also wear cleats?
Yeah, but wear soccer cleats.
But cleats don't protect your toes.
Well, I would.
Here's what I would do.
I would go into your local shoe provider.
And I would say, I want cleats, but I'm not a soccer player.
I am a referee. And so I want
cleats that have some thickness on the toe. And then the other thing I would do, Fairon, is I
would try to stay away from those players. You know what I might do? I might take some crocs.
What now? And then customize them. What? We got most of them kidding.
You have to wear them in sport mode of course.
Of course, I thought that you were going to give earnest advice.
No, I was thinking that you were going to say,
all right, so here's an argument where you could use crocs.
Cut out part of the top of the crocs.
Yeah.
And then like glue it on top of the soccer cleats.
So you have a little glue it on top of the soccer cleats. You have a little
more protection on top, maybe. You could metal plate some cleat, some crocs. What if you
just went in with full Doc Martins, you know, and you were just a Doc Martins referee.
Not really, it's a run as though. But you're a referee. I mean, you, yeah. As I'm sure you're
finding out, Farron, the key with being a referee is just being in the right place so that
you never have to do more than over the job. I would wear whatever shoes you can run the fastest in and just stay away from those
children.
Do you remember when our beautiful son was a referee in Peabies Soccer games?
He was great.
He was a great referee, but he was also somewhat suggestible.
So like if one of the parents would scream like,
that's a corner kick, he'd be like,
well, I mean, that does seem like the way
to minimize the stress of that parent.
We're gonna say that's a corner kick.
But he was, he was really good
and he was super supportive of the kids.
He was great.
He was just a little intimidated by the parents,
but then who's not?
Yeah.
Well, we wish you luck, Farron.
And congratulations on refereeing.
It is the most underappreciated, but really vital facet of the game of soccer.
Yes.
Hats off.
Yes.
We respect you, even if maybe some of the parents will yell at you.
There was, I remember in that same league, when Henry was playing,
not when he was referring. I remember there was one moment where one of the opposing coaches,
you were actually the coach of Henry's team, but one of the opposing coaches started yelling
at the Linesman saying that something had been offside. And finally, after being berated
and berated and berated, the Linesman's epic come back was I'm 14.
Was the perfect. It's just the most precise. It's like, I think you need to shut your mouth,
old band. All right. All right. Hank, what's your name? Is it Hank? It's Sarah.
Well, it's time I checked.
Dear John and Sarah, could you put your combined knowledge together to explain how my grandmother
has the tuberculosis germ but is surrounded by antibodies so we don't have to have a
heck of concern?
Any time I hear about this, I nod like I understand, but I absolutely do not.
Why are people dying of tuberculosis while this 85 year old fragile white lady is just chilling with this deadly
German her body? tuberculosis and terror, Rachel.
Well, that is a big question. And to say that we fully understand it, I think would be
inaccurate because there's a lot that we
don't fully, fully understand about tuberculosis. But here is what we do know about a quarter of
all humans are infected with tuberculosis, like your grandmother is, and almost, almost all of them
will never get sick. The reasons for this are complicated.
Generally, if a tuberculosis infection,
you're right that your grandmother has this,
it's called a tubercle, where there's
a little bit of tuberculosis that's inside of her
that her body can't kill.
And so instead, all these white blood cells
have surrounded it, almost like a tiny golf ball that has tuberculosis
in the middle of it, but that tuberculosis won't ever be able to get out because it's
surrounded by all these white blood cells.
That's the idea anyway.
And she may have many tubercles, you know, she may have many of these things where, but
at any rate, over 50% of the time that someone
is going to get sick from tuberculosis, they get sick within a year or two of the initial
infection.
And so most people who will become ill with tuberculosis will become ill within a couple
years after being infected.
And the risk factors for becoming ill are things
like malnutrition, having a really severe immunocompromising condition like untreated HIV, for instance,
or, and there are other risk factors as well, including like some about age and poverty is a big risk factor.
So the reason your grandmother is good probably is because she's had this infection for a long
time.
It's been in a sort of state of balance for a long time and one something is in a state
of balance for a long time.
It's pretty hard to upset that balance.
That's not to say that she could never develop active disease because she could, if she
were severely immunocompromised at some point, if her body went through a lot of physiological
stress, then it's possible.
But it is very unlikely and it's not something that you really need to worry about probably. And that is, you're right, a stark, stark contrast
from the experiences of the tens of millions of people
who will get sick with tuberculosis this year.
And I do think that we need to really consider
why it is that we are able in the rich world to live with such a low burden
of tuberculosis while other communities are not able to do that.
Look at that earnestness.
No, it's, well, I'm very earnest about TV.
I'm almost too nervous about it because I'm trying to like bring some voiciness, some humor
to my TV work, but all I feel is anger.
Right.
But it's, it's, it's comes from a good place, John.
Yeah.
All right.
Speaking of coming from a good place, AFC Wimbledon were in a good place earlier this
season.
They were.
I'm sorry.
We were, we were, we were, we were ahead two to one in the 90 second minute.
Went outside. We had some friends come over and I went outside to greet them. Went back inside
and we'd lost the game. Oh, God. Then we played Steven-in-edge and we decided to take on a different
strategy. So we've been one-nil up in most of the games that we've ended up losing. But we tried
decided to take a different strategy of going one-nil down, which I was completely in favor of.
We let in a goal in the fourth minute, and I was like, obviously, we've, you know,
back in the locker room, Johnny Jackson explained to the boys that we need to let a goal in
immediately, because the other way isn't working.
And then Oli Alhamnety, my favorite player, maybe ever.
I mean, if he leaves over the summer, I don't
know what I will do. I, I, the only time I have ever been tempted to hide spending from
you is I am tempted to pay Oli Alhamadi's wages quietly without you knowing I am tempted.
I'm not going to lie about it. It's important for me to tell the truth. That said, he scored a goal to tie the game
and then through a really unfortunate error,
we gave up a goal and we lost two, one.
And we are not technically safe from relegation yet
and we also haven't, you know, like we've lost 13 out of,
or failed to win 13 out of our last 14 games.
And I'm a little worried, like we need lost 13 out of or failed to win 13 out of our last 14 games. And I'm a little worried like we need one more win or some results to go our way in the
last four games of the season or else we could not be a full time professional team in
the football league anymore.
And that's a really, really scary thought.
And it would be truly catastrophic for the club.
And we just we have to figure out a way to make that not happen.
Yeah.
And it's all on the shoulders of these lads who feel it.
They feel the pressure.
They definitely feel it.
Yeah.
I mean, they definitely feel it.
It's not all on their shoulders.
It's also.
That's true.
It's also on everybody's shoulders.
But yeah, there's a lot of pressure on them
and they feel it and that doesn't make it easier.
And I don't envy the situation that they're in.
And a lot of them are so young.
I mean, a lot of these, you know,
Al-Ai al-Hamedi's 20, Jack Curry's 19.
I mean, these are these are-
They're called them lads.
Yeah, they're lads.
They're lads.
They're just little lads.
What's the news from Mars?
Well, I don't have news from Mars, but I do have news from the pottery lab.
Oh, I'm trying to figure out what to call my new little space for making pottery.
It's unheated.
So I have, I've been waiting for it to get warm enough.
Yeah.
I like pottery.
Pottery studio is a little too formal. Pottery lab, a little
too clinical. Pottery barn kind of funny. Kind of funny, but the pottery barn. I get it. I don't
know. Yeah. Yeah. The pottery lab is what the pottery studio was called at our high school.
And so whenever you say pottery lab, I always think the
pottery lab, that little pottery room. Yeah, it was by the chemistry lab. I know I got kicked out there.
Yeah. Okay. I was expelled from school. But so I have, I, I, I'm gonna update you on what I'm
up to now. So, um, John and I have been planting some trees this spring. Yeah. And I want to make some ceramic markers that are going to identify what type of tree they
are.
Yeah.
And I'm going to make some sort of samples so we can see how sturdy they are.
Are they a shape?
Do they, you know, does a shape indicate the tree and then there's a key or do they have to say what they are?
That's interesting. Now, let me ask you and you know how I like to turn your projects into bigger projects.
Yes.
But is there a way that we could also expand this to have a few of those markers in the forest behind the pottery lab with existing mature trees.
So that we could know this is an ash, which are increasingly rare, satin, and Indiana.
This is an ale, and this is an oak, this is a sugar maple, whatever.
I think that'd be really cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think the trees would appreciate it too.
I think they I hope they would. Yeah. I don't feel like it. It's like a it's like an accessory.
I just think it's nice. It's like a name tag. I just think it's always nice for trees when you
give them something that isn't made of wood. You know, like ceramics are made out of dirt. Here's
some big dirt. Here's some big dirt and that will make you feel better than if I have whenever I
see like a wooden sign identifying a tree
I'm like this is a bummer for the tree.
Okay, like they know where that came from.
So I think it's great that it's like cannibalism.
It's close to cannibalism, right?
It's like close to feeding your chickens chicken nuts.
Yeah, yeah, and I don't like it.
So I love ceramic tree identifiers.
So I just how many shapes could you make though?
Well, interesting. There's a lot of different trees here. So I love ceramic tree identifiers. So how many shapes could you make though?
Well, there's a lot of different trees here.
I know.
I know.
And the 30 different kinds of trees.
It would be unfortunate if it required a key, you know.
Yeah.
But they should probably be able to be understood by anyone who understands English. Anyone who's prancing through the forest? I feel like
that should be a pretty limited number of people, frankly. Because they could just be a tract of
colorful things that have meaning to only some people. Because it could be both. Yeah, and then you
just like hand out the keys. Because there's also color. You hand out the key to like visiting artists or friends or whatever.
Right. Because yeah, you could do both color and shape. So blue square could be sugar maple
and like red square could be red maple. Mmm. I love it. I forgot that you can color
pottery. Now does that involve any wood? Color. You could color pottery. What at week? What do we, what do we do, John?
We call it staining. Glazing. We call it glazing. Glazing. Yes.
So that is the news from my pottery making space that needs a name.
If you have any good names for the pottery making space, let us let us know. It is an old shed type building. It is a shed for 1890 that is
unheated, but very nice. Yes. I mean, well, as as questions without electricity
or running water go. It has a hose hook up. It does have a hose hook up. So it's
pretty fancy. If you have any ideas for what I should call it,
please, please propose them. Yeah, right, right, right to us at Hank and John at gmail.com. Also,
I'm looking for a name for the shed where I work, which is, you know, maybe 50 feet away from that shed.
Right. But yours is going to have heat and plumbing. It will. Yeah.
It's going to have a bath for have a bathroom. I'm pretty excited.
Well, and we've been calling it the writer's shack.
Yeah, that's not right.
But it doesn't feel right.
And also, and after we fix it up,
the shack won't be the right time for it.
And if you've watched any of the format videos,
you might have seen this place or watched the video
where I made pottery, because we used to make pottery there.
Um, but that, if you have a name for that shed,
other than the writing shed, which just
I don't really think of it as a shed anyway.
No, it's like it's just a small little cabin.
It's like a cabin slash studio apartment.
Yeah, it's like a 300.
It's like a tiny house.
It has everything you need for a tiny house.
It's like a 300 square feet tiny house. Oh, fast, slip the bathroom and a tiny house. It has everything you need for a tiny house. It's like a 300 square
foot tiny house. Oh, fast. Flip the bathroom and a kitchenette. Yeah. Yeah.
We'll have. And what are you going to do there?
You don't have to be too philosophical about it. He's going to write. He's going to do the internet.
I'm going to try to put one word in front of the other and not log on to Twitter.
Yeah, he's gonna make TikToks.
He's gonna exercise his format.
Yeah.
Then he's the format for sure.
He's gonna eat things.
Yeah, drink diet, Dr. Pepper.
I tracked mice.
Yeah.
Well, thanks to everybody for listening.
We are so grateful to have you here with us.
And so grateful to all of y'all for your questions that you can submit at Hank and John at gmail.com.
Sorry, we didn't answer more questions as always. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tudimentish.
It's produced by Rosiana Hals Rohoss. Our head of community and communications is Brooke Chotwell. We had no editorial help this week
from Deboki Chotcervardi and Boy could you tell? But she and Hank's brilliant minds working together
will be back next week and in the meantime thanks again for listening and as they say in our hometown.
Don't forget to be awesome.
Don't forget to be awesome.