Dear Hank & John - 375: The Water Episode

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

Why is unsalted water called freshwater? How long would it take to drink a swimming pool? How do I gently reject a fish? What size are we on the scale of the universe? Can I eat misdelivered food? How do I break spaghetti? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John! Norse, I prefer to think of it Dear John and Hank. That's a quality podcast for two brothers, Anzhi questions, give you to be his advice, and forget to look up a dad joke. That's fine. It's a whole new era for Dear Hank and John. We don't need a dad joke at the beginning of every episode. We don't need sponsors in every episode

because it's not about meeting the expectations of a genre that we made up. It's about enjoying each other's company for an hour each week. That's right. But I don't you like my dad jokes, though? Oh, I'm sorry if I didn't make this clear over the years, but I absolutely do not. Okay, but people of the world, do you like my dad jokes? Sure. They like them, but they're also on board with us. By the way, the response has been very generous. Thank you to everybody who's written in to let us know how much you approve of our new strategy, the new podcast format, the post cancer, Hank doesn't like saying post cancer, the post treatment vibe is just different now.

And better, I would argue. But there was that solar eclipse, John. And Aaron asked me, he said, Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is? And I said, no, son. Great. All right. Let's answer some questions from our listeners, which is ridiculous on two levels. First of all, he wouldn't need me to explain because he understands the solar eclipse is so well. He understands all of the celestial movements. It's wild. And second, I would absolutely explain it to him.

But I would do a better job of it than saying no son Right no, it wasn't a good joke. I agree But I appreciate you breaking it down for me so that I could understand a couple of different ways in which it wasn't good This first question comes from miles who asked dear a good job This and the answer is so good. Why do we call non-salti water, fresh water, when most of the water on the earth has been there for billions of years? There's no fresh water.

Why do we call it that? Water and wondering miles. Why do we call it that? Because fresh meaning, fresh water, as in not salty water, is the original meaning of that term. Oh, like that's the original meaning of fresh meaning. Yes. Freshment, not salty water is the original meaning of that term. Oh, like the original meaning of fresh meaning. Yes. Fresh met not salty.

Yes. Fresh men water that did not have salt in it. And then we took that and we made it to mean new and, you know, like fresh fruit. It's fruit that happened recently. Oh, wow. And fresh men are our recent students. Yeah, fresh men are just students with less salt in them. Yeah, I think that might actually be true based on my understanding of... Probably, yeah.

Doritos. Doritos and how you kind of get pickled over time. I think of myself as being significantly more pickled than I was when I was a freshman in college. Oh yeah. No, I definitely have been pickled. Between the salt, between the salt and the alcohol, I feel like I'm and some I've had a quite a bit of vinegar in those years. So it's amazing to me actually that salt water continues to be toxic to me because I feel like I am salt water. Well, you are a little bit. You are a little bit saltwater. You're a saltier than fresh water. But you're fresher than saltwater.

Is it true that most water is billions of years old, so we're all drinking dinosaur pee all the time? Well, I mean, all the molecules are billions of, like all the atoms are billions of years old, or all the protons and neutrons and electrons anyway. And so the, but like, yeah, like water mostly just gets recycled through the whole system. So it arrived pretty much at the beginning we think of the existence of the earth for something billion years ago.

And the, it's been here the whole time. We're not sure if it gets like replenished over time, like if we sort of like, because we lose it to various processes, it gets blown away into space eventually. And so like, is it just being sort of re-delivered by comets or et cetera. But yeah, it seems like most of the water on earth is old,

though it's very hard. There's no way to tell how old it is. And really everything on earth is old because it's all made out of atoms that are really, really old. It's all made out like all of the particles were created during the Big Bang. So, well, I actually, as somebody who's working on a podcast about astrophysics,

oh, tell me why I'm wrong. Which particles weren't created during the big bank? Well, it depends on your definition of during. Okay. Protons and neutrons and stuff, we're not in the, we're not in like the first picosecond or anything like that. Yeah, it's just like a soup of quarks or something. It was just, yeah, it was soupy. It was soupy and then it got, and then it got cool and calm enough for there to be some protons and some hydrogen, a little bit of lithium helium. Yeah, helium. Yeah. the that's my understanding at least and that's a spoiler or word I do have a podcast coming out about this, but it's not coming out for like six months So I don't think that now is the time to talk about

People are I was like, why are you keeping it a secret? It's because you don't want to know yet But I it's yeah, you can't there's nothing there's nothing to pre-save-save if that's indeed what you do with podcasts. Yeah, but I am curious about another water-related question Hank. Okay. And I think in some ways, this is a, I mean, that was a great question. Don't get me wrong, but I think in some ways,

Caitlin has gotten to the question that's beneath all other questions. You know what I mean? Like sometimes, like one of the things that we're trying to do in physics right now, for instance, is understand how, you know, these forces of nature that are fundamental and seem different from each other might actually be aspects

of the same force. Sure. And I think that Caitlin's question is kind of the question beneath all the other questions. She writes, tear John and Hank, how long would it take me to drink a swimming pool? Or rather the equivalent amount of water that is in, say, the average 20 foot by 20 foot

backyard pool pool in pondering's, Caitlin. Oh, long time. Well, Hank, I looked this up and are you ready to have your mind blown? Yeah, sure. Do you, just based on your overall impression of a swimming pool, and your overall impression of an average human lifespan?

Okay. Do you think that it is less than one lifespan, about one lifespan, or many human life spans to drink a pool's worth of water? I think a small, like an above ground swimming pool you could get in a lifetime. 20 foot by 20 foot, average 48 inches in the shell and six feet in the deep end.

So like new pools, not the kind of pool that we grew up in. That was an extremely different. We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different-

We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- We do like a different- Did you look up a table somewhere? I did differential calculus. I had somebody teach me Calc B, so that I could determine how the slope affects the overall wall you have to. And then I also, I decided whether or not I wanted the pool to be one or two inches below grade where the water is, right?

Like, you don't want it to be all the way up to the top. There's gotta be a chart, John. You gotta have, please tell me you looked up a chart. No, why would I do that when I could have somebody teach me how, of course, I looked up a chart. Okay, good. How much water is realistic to drink in a day as the other question? I figured it's like a half a gallon. That's what we drink. That day, a half a gallon is what you, you drink in a day if you're not trying to drink a swimming pool's worth of water. Caitlin's question is how long would it take me to drink a swimming pool? Okay.

So I think a gallon a day you could do and stay in the safe zone. Yeah, I agree with you. I don't think you want to go to two gallons a day. I think that's edging on the safe zone. That's like you're going to have to supplement with salts and all kinds of stuff. Okay. I think you can drink a gallon of water a day. I agree with you.

90 years. So just a human lifespan. Well, if you're lucky. Not a median human lifespan. I'm skeptical of your math. I think it's a lot. I think it's definitely decades. It's.

What are the reasons that you find in a 20 by 20 pool? It's 90 years because it's 30,000 gallons. All right, if it's 30,000 gallons, then it's 90 years. Yeah. I am aware. Thank you, I did the math. Ha ha ha ha ha.

I'm just surprised by how many gallons of water there are in that 20 by 20 pool. It made me call my best friend Chris and say, man, I think you, I don't think you should fill up this pool. We need that water, bro. But that's good, because you've got it stored that just in case. That's a great point.

And it's pre-coronated, over-coronated. But I mean, that's the other thing though, is like, could you drink, it would probably be bad for you to drink nothing but pool water. Yeah, I think they probably don't suggest that. I think there's probably rules. They say you can have a little bit in your mouth. I just don't.

Anytime I swallow more than about one teaspoon of pool water, I get really grossed out. I feel it in my stomach and I don't know if that's real, but I definitely, I don't know if it's placebo effect, but I feel it. How much pool water can you drink? I don't know if I'm gonna, but I definitely, I don't know if it's placebo effect, but I feel it. How much pool water can you drink? How long would it take to drink the whole ocean, John? A while. Yeah. I mean, especially because you die

like several times in the first month. Yeah, it depends on which ocean you're trying to drink as well. They're all affected. There's just one ocean, John. In a way, so you're really asking like, how much time would it take to drink all of the salt water on earth? And I think the answer to that is a long time.

Yeah. I bet somebody, I bet somebody's going to do the math and send it to us. You know, I bet all of the water in the ocean has been drunk at this point. Not by a person. No, no, no, certainly not by a person. What do you mean? It has been drunk. I think that it's all been inside of a body at some point.

No. Yeah. No, not unless, I mean, are you counting a me by as bodies? Yeah. All right, I don't count them as bodies. You got to be a mammal to have a body. Turtles don't have bodies. That was good.

They don't got to be offended on behalf of turtles, but you were ahead of me. They don't have bodies. Look at them. You know why you have to be really brave turtle to reproduce. This is another dad joke. You really have to come out of your shell. Do you just like have them on standby? Like thousands of them.

It's just like what you, instead of learning French, you just have have them on standby? Like thousands of them, that's just like what you, instead of learning French, you just have like a thousand dad jokes in your mind at all times? I don't know, I don't know where they come from. Like if you ask me to just come up with one, I can't, but if we're talking about turtles, I'm like, yeah, I got some turtles.

I wonder if you drink all the water. Like, I wonder if it's realistic to drink from one source. I wonder if you could drink from a pool your whole life. That's what I'm wondering. From birth. You know, and you just like, that's your pool. And that's how much that's how much water you have. That's your 90 years of water. And you sort of watch it get lower and lower. And if you got too thirsty, if you just did too much, if you were too greedy, you reach like 78 and you're like, I'm running low.

This is a problem. You'd have 180 years of normal water consumption, but you're right. Like maybe knowing that you have a finite amount of water makes you greedier, makes you like thirstier. I don't know how it works. So then yeah, you're just like watching your life drain away in this very sort of literal way. Right. And then like, one day you have a heart attack and you're like, well, it's not my day though. There's a lot of water left in the pool. And then you just die. And you're like,

oh, that's not what that meant. Dude, you've gotten so dark since we did this podcast. It used to be me. That was my job. Now, yeah, the one who's like, you're going to die. Do you get like 80 or 90 or 70 years? But yeah, maybe. Do you remember when on this very podcast, somebody was like, if, if, uh, if you were given 78 years, guaranteed, would you take it? And you were like, no way.

Absolutely. No way. Crazy. Why would I do that? I intend to live to at least 110. I'd take that deal now. Jesus. I'd take 78 in a second. Yeah.

I mean, you're probably gonna last forever. No, no, no. No, I just kinda look at me and I can tell. Ah, you don't know. The most common age of death now, globally, is in the 80s. I know. Wild stat.

By Wild stat is wild. It's great. You know what I was just looking up is the, because I was thinking like, we have a real pedestrian traffic problem here in Indianapolis. Like a lot of pedestrians get hit by cars because we have the least friendly pedestrian city. I think that you could design. Like, I think if you were trying to design a city to make pedestrians miserable, you would make a deenapolis. That's how we do it. And did you know that the rate of pedestrian and cyclist death in the United States from cars is almost 90% lower than it was in the

1970s? Huh! I was shocked. That's really interesting. I would love to know why. And because it didn't confirm my prior hypothesis, I didn't tweet about it. You're like, that is not a line with the narrative I'm trying to portray. But you know what it is. That doesn't feel true to me.

It's that people don't do it as much because it's more dangerous. Well, maybe. I think that that's, I listen, I'm going to just throw it out there, Hank. I don't know that we're experts on this matter. And one of the things that I'd like to change about the podcast moving forward is I think we should acknowledge when we're not experts because I feel like there's not enough of that happening on the internet right now. In an emergency, you should drink your pool.

Well, in an emergency, you should. No, I think even in an emergency, you should recognize that the pool water is not safe. Depends on the scope of the emergency. This is definitely some emergencies where you should drink your pool water, especially if you don't have access to any other fresco. If you haven't drank water in a day. Yeah, drink your pool. Well, we're not experts.

You know what? We're not experts. We're not experts in how to survive a pool related apocalypse. What's the apocalypse where your pool still works? The pool doesn't stop working immediately It totally does It don't know how these like pools work It's just it's like a use gravity. It's just yeah, it's just water is being held there by gravity

Where's it gonna go? Things inside of your pool water can you you drink pool water in an emergency? Superprepper.com. This guy seems like he knows what he's talking about. I'm at the same website literally. My name is John Waltern. I'm your typical family man, except for one thing. I'm also a passionate prepper. Well, good to know yourself, John. It's good to know the truth of yourself. Is it safe to drink pool water in an emergency?

Not that safe. Yeah, seems like not. But there are some ways to make it safe to drink. You know what? Just go to superprepper.com if you're in an emergency. That's why you come to us. And also, this says that a 12 by 24 pool has only up to 13,000 gallons.

I know, but Hank, I was not talking about a 12 by 24 pool has only up to 13,000 gallons. I know, but Hank, I was not talking about a 12 by 24 pool. I was specifically talking about about a 20 by 20 pool. That's true. Okay. Who has a 12 by 24 pool in 2023? It's all about luxury. It's about doing it a little bit bigger than you need to. I always forget about pools because they don't exist in Montana.

I tell you, there's not a lot of them in Indianapolis, but my buddy Chris is the only person I know who has one. Yeah. Can I ask you another water-related question? Oh, this is the water episode. I didn't know it, but it seems to be. It's from Tiarna, who writes, dear John and Hank, I'm in the deep end with this one. See?

I recently got a fish, and I don't know if you know this thing, but fish actually live in water. Yep. Fish's name is Toby. He's a beautiful red beta fish. Whenever I go up to his tank to say hello, he swims to the top of the water and blows a bubble. Nice. I looked it up and this turns out to be a mating behavior.

Uh-oh. He doesn't do it to anyone else. So, I think he's chosen me. How do I gently reject my fish's mating advances? Not the princess, Tiana. It's a really good, you know what? That's a brand new sentence, Tiana. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Got it. I'm gonna put this one in quotation marks and put it in the Google and confirm. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, that's first time. Ha ha ha ha ha. I mean, there is a fore a question that's how do I politely decline someone's romantic or sexual advances in a way that would upset them, but that is not with regards to a fish. Nope, that seems to be a sum one, not a sum fish.

Yeah, I mean, this is a classic use your words situation, right? Yeah, I mean, this from Quora is quite good. Stay polite, and if they can't respect that, block them from your life. Ha ha ha ha ha. Hey, Toby. I'm not going to be able to mate with you for a bunch of reasons.

One, not interested. I just don't feel a spark. Two, don't actually know how that works. I don't know, I don't understand your physiology or your life cycle. That's so what we're looking at is something that's impossible that I also don't want. And that's a, you know.

Mm, well, wait, the way that the noise I just made is not the noise I had intended to have made. But, it's quite a noise. The noise I just made is not the noise I had intended to have made. But it's quite a noise. What if you just are like Toby? Yeah, sure. Can you convince the fish that it's just a very long courtship? No, no, Hank, this is classic Hank Green kick the can down the room.

Just string them along. Look, you're like a long-term, long-term, long-term. Budget crisis in six months. No, we've got to deal with this Tobi thing now, Hank. All right. I want to yes and you, but you're wrong on this one. You can't just say, like, oh, Tobi, all, but you know about my real feelings later.

That's how you end up in, you might, I don't do that, I agree. Don't do that to a person. But this is, I think just blow some bubbles back and Tobi be like, I agree, don't do that to a person. But this is, I think, just blow some bubbles back and tell me to be like, I'm gonna live on those bubbles for the rest of my life. Nope. You gotta make it dramatic, you gotta be like,

like love is, is love and, but sometimes, the stuff, ships passing in the night. We've always got someone else at the wrong time when I'm single, you're not, when you are, the stuff, ships passing in the night. We've always got someone else at the wrong time. When I'm single, you're not when you are. I'm and then I just never worked out. But I just feel like a whole time. I've always been your plan B, Toby. I've always been your backup, you know?

I think if it came right down to it, you'd prefer a bait of fish. And I just can't get over that. No, no, you have a firm talk with Toby. Where you say Toby, I value our relationship, but our relationship is owner, pet, not peers. And so because of the power imbalance, the interspreciation, and many other factors, I'm going to need you to stop blowing bubbles because it's suggestive. It's problematic. I don't know that Toby's going to get it. So, you don't underestimate Toby. Toby contains multitudes. Toby can absolutely understand this. I don't know exactly how to translate into this. Do you know how beta fish signal that they don't want to mate with a male who's blowing bubbles? How? Uh, the female will not allow herself to be squeezed and thus will not release her eggs.

So that's all you really have to do. Okay. Just don't let Toby squeeze you. And I think he'll get the point. I still think you should have a talk with him. Just weigh it all out on the line. I still think you should have a talk with them, just way it all out on the line. Yeah. Either way, Toby's going to have to get over this because this is not about you, Caitlin. This is not anything that's wrong with you. This is Toby's issue. That's

correct. I just that's something that I think maybe Toby doesn't need to hear, but like 19 year old me definitely needed to hear. This next question comes from Tessa, who asks, dear Hank and John, I know that there are some things that are orders of magnitude in comprehensively bigger than us, like the universe. There's also things that are way, way in comprehensively

smaller than us, like a proton. What I wanna know. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is this not a water question? Uh, look, all this stuff got water in it. Fair enough. Universe got water. Fair enough. Protons.

Water's got protons. Fair enough. What, what I want to know is, are the bigger things bigger than the smaller things are smaller? Mm. Great, I love that. As in, are we closer in size to the proton or to the observable universe?

The human brain is bad at this stuff. What's like the mean or medium size of things? How would you even go about calculating something like that? My name backwards is my most valuable asset, Tessa. Oh, that's good. Asset, that's great. Surprise. Man, they are specific sign offs.

I do have a vague answer, yes. Because I would like to know what the median sized object is. Can I guess what it is? Yeah, give me a guess. I'm looking around the room. Okay. I've got a t-shirt.

I've got a small tree that lives in the corner. It's weird that you're sort of like focused on stuff that's like in your world. I got to look for a plan. That all those, anything that's in the corner. It's weird that you're sort of like focused on stuff that's like in your world. I got to look for a can. That all those, anything that's in your room in terms of like the scale of the universe to a proton is, and don't take this the wrong way, exactly the same size.

Sure, I'm gonna say it's the Le Croix can. Okay, okay. Let's say Le Croix can is the median sized object of all things. You know, it's not that far off, honestly. So people have done this math various ways, but the big, the main one is to sort of take the observable universe, which isn't really that like the size of the observable universe is a function not of the universe's size, but of the universe's age. And so it's just a, like a snapshot in time.

But if you take that as the biggest thing, you take the smallest thing as like the plank length, which is as small as physically something can be, then the thing right in the middle is about the size of a fairly large eukaryotic cell, like a wittle wiggly thing that you would see under a microscope or on Journey to the Microcosmos to YouTube channel, which seems small, but on the scale of those two things, the fact that like in the middle is a living organism, and because those two things are so far apart from each other, the whole universe and the plank length, basically we are the same size as that eukaryotic organism. Like we're so close, like it's only a couple of ordered of magnitude away from each other.

Sure, but you know what's closer? What? Look, Roy can. It's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am not that surprised by that, but I will say that it's pretty likely, if I'm not mistaken, that the observable universe, well, it's almost certain that the observable universe, while it's all we can ever see, is not, I mean, potentially, is orders of magnitude away from the size of the universe. Oh, I mean, could potentially and in my perspective, probably an infinite number of orders

of magnitude away from the size of the universe. Yeah, but once you start to get into infinities, I get very, I feel very squiggly. Everybody does accept me. I'm like, I don't understand why you can't, like, what's wrong with just a line that goes forever? What, like, I don't understand why you can't like, what's wrong with just a line that goes forever? What like, that seems fine. Well, first off, no line goes forever, except in theory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, like, like, because everybody's, like, oh, physicists are always talking about how everything's made of fields. And I just don't have any like problem imagining an infinite field. I have a problem imagining an infinite anything.

I think that imagining breaks down in the face of infinity, but I know what you mean. And it reminds me actually that today's podcast is brought to you by the infinite field of yearning. The infinite field of yearning. Oh, a field that shoots through the entire universe, observable and otherwise. This podcast is also brought to you by Toby, who contains within him an infinite field of yearning. I'll say, and of course today's podcast is brought to you by Water. Water. Don't drink it out of the pool. And this podcast is brought to you by Pepe. Good. Great job.

No need to have a tagline for Peepee. We also have a project for awesome message from Megan to James James. It has been the greatest privilege of my life to watch you grow up into the incredible kid you are today. You're so funny, genuine, and empathetic. And I could not be more proud to be your mom. Being a pre-teen is hard, but you have so much life to look forward to. I love you.

PS, thank you, John and Hank for making this pot and giving my son and I one more way to connect. And laugh together. That's very, very sweet James middle school. Middle school can be really hard. I've got a kid in middle school. I was a kid in middle school. It's a struggle. But it is also temporary.

And I hope that soon you're nestled happily in high school. And yeah, it's hard, but you're doing great. We're proud of you. I got another question, John. It's from Bailey who asks, dear Hank and John, if food is delivered to my home by accident, and the bag doesn't have the correct address on it, and I can't find the person whose name is on the bag, and it's been sitting out for a bit and not claimed, is it my food now, P and P Bailey? Oh yeah, that's your thing. Yeah, that's, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it's one of the great, what are we gonna do? It's one of the great things about modern life is sometimes you get sushi when you didn't mean to or ask right. And this has happened to me a bunch, which I don't know what that's about, but I, yeah, I sort of like feel as if I am being loved by the universe. There you go.

That's a beautiful, that's beautiful sentiment. But what I will say is mostly it happens when I order one thing and get a different thing, which is also a kind of surprise from the same restaurant you mean. No, no, no. Like Dordash will have like multiple food orders in the car and they will bring me the wrong one.

And then I'll call and I'll be like, I'm the wrong thing and they're like, that's yours now, buddy. Yep. I can't, I, are, it's too late now. I go, okay. Though sometimes they will take it. So definitely call your dash or if that happens, they will come. Yeah, especially if you notice it pretty quick. A lot of times they'll, they'll, they'll come and they'll round it up. But yeah, I mean, my policy is that if they tell me that they don't want it, then I almost have to eat it. It's almost like a moral obligation to try something new.

And I happen to, it's like, oh, I would never order this. Yeah. But here we go. No, I mean, our go to Chinese place over the last few weeks has been a place that we found out about because it was misdelivered to my house for lunch And I was like, it's pretty good Broccoli chicken. They should just do that. They should

That's a new advertisement is like hello broccoli chicken has arrived in your life Surprise chicken has arrived in your life. Surprise. Sounds like an expensive campaign, but. It does sound a little expensive, but it's a good idea. It worked for this place. I like how Bailey is just really dedicated to making sure that they're doing the right thing in the situation. I like. That was your food a long time ago.

Right. I hope that you didn't wait the full eight weeks since we first saw your question. Yeah. It's now it is no longer your food if it's eight weeks old. Yeah. That belongs to the to the recons now. One time I ordered pizza late night when I had a couple drinks coming home from a party. And I was like, Oh, Sarah,, we're gonna love having the pizza when the Uber gets back to the house And she was like, yeah, oh whatever. I'm just gonna go to bed. And I was like not me man Not me. I'm gonna eat pizza and watch a late night television and

woke up the next morning and the pizza was Still on the front doorstep, but it had been just absolutely destroyed by raccoons. Like you fell asleep and left it there? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Totally forgot. Totally forgot.

Best day for a raccoon ever. I've heard this story. I hope it wasn't on the podcast, but I think it might have been on the podcast. As I was telling the story, I was like, I think I've told this one before. Um, but, um, yeah, it was great, great raccoon day. Oh, great raccoon day. Why am I gonna have after this? I am so hungry.

I'm gonna have a nap. I didn't sleep well last night because you know that thing that you can do to your neck where I know that stupid thing. It gets so, it hurts so bad. And then once it happened, it happened at 3, 12 in the morning. Ugh. And then once it happened, I took Advil and I thought I was gonna be able to go back to sleep,

but I couldn't and I was so uncomfortable all night long. And you know, I'm always a pleasure to be with. As you know, just because of my sunny disposition. But when I'm in pain and it's four o'clock in the morning, I'm especially fun to be with. And so Sarah was like, Hey, could you just shut up? Is there any way I could convince you to stop

telling me how much your neck hurts so that I can sleep? And I'd be like, but it hurts so bad. So I'm going to take a nap. Which reminds me it's time to get to the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. Oh my goodness. This now works, no Hank, it's all, this is how it works. This is how it works, no Hank, it's all, this is how it works. Yeah, yeah. It was scheduled. All right, listen, and also say to the person who asked about spaghetti,

if you don't want your spaghetti's to fly all over the place when you break them in a half, you should twist them first and then break, and for some reason that makes them not fly, like break into three, it makes them break into two. And then also you can point it down at the pot as you break so that any extra things fly into the pot instead of, or just don't break them a half.

That is also, you just need a bigger pot. Okay. Good job. Great. Wait, wait, offer some practical advice on this bad advice podcast. I love it. Do you wanna go first or do you wanna me to go first?

I'm always happy to go first. We lost. You go first. Oh no. We lost a football game. We lost a Bradford city. For some reason, we've been very good away from plow laying this year. We're undefeated away from home, but we've had a hard time in our home games. I think it's that we put pressure on ourselves to perform well because the stadium is so new and beautiful. And we know how much it cost because we paid for it ourselves and we're deeply indebted to the fans because the fans ultimately loan the money to the club

to build the stadium. I think all of that combines to just create a lot of anxiety. And I think, so I think that's our issue. We lost a Bradford city. I mean, it was the goal that they scored was a little bit of a whatever. We had the most possession, we had the most shots. I thought we played well.

We were definitely missing a real scoring threat up front, and I'll tell you why we were missing a scoring threat up front. It's because Oli Alhamadi, our star striker, was playing for the Iraqi national team, which is great. I'm really, he, like, he was born in Iraq, but then he had to leave when he was a year old, because his father was a political prisoner under the Saddam Hussein regime. And so it just means a lot to him to play for his country, the country of his birth. And also he starts, he plays, which is really cool.

Like it's rare that a player in the fourth tier of English soccer plays for their national team. Like, Lyle Taylor, you might remember played for Montserrat, the Caribbean nation. But the Iraqi national team is pretty good, and Al-Ahamadi starts for them. And he scored a goal. He scored a goal from open play. It was a good, it was a good, quick standard Alley Alhamadi goal where you didn't even think he was going to have time

or space to kick it. And then somehow it's immediately in the back of the net. So I'm almost encouraged that we lost because it's just a reminder of how much we need Alley Alhamadi, which hopefully is something that the powers that be at the club are thinking about because the transfer window opens on January 1st, and I sure would like to keep him. Nice. All right. Well, you remember the Mars in Sightlander, John? Sure, of course. It was there, and measuring Mars quakes, trying to figure out what's going on inside of Mars, and...

Pretty sure it's still there. It is still there. Yeah. It's still there. I don't know that the mission is still going, but the... I mean, it turned out it was very hard to dig into Mars. Yes, it had that problem. But in its time of measuring Mars quakes, it measured the largest Mars quake ever measured.

I should probably, I think that it was also the first thing to ever measure Mars Quicks. So the first one it measured was the largest one ever measured. And then from there, we got a lot of... It measured a series of increasingly larger ones as it broke its own record. And yes, it's like one of those those like stand up arcade video games where one person is really, really good. And so the top 10 scores are all just the same initials. That's right.

And all insight, insight, insight, insight. We are curious. So this like the strongest one I measured, we're like, what the heck is this thing? And the, you know, if it is, if it was a, like generated from the planet, that would be more interesting and more useful than if it was something hitting the planet and creating that tectonic signature. That seismic signature. And so what we had to do is sort of try and you like, where we thought that, like seismic event happened and then look at that area of Mars and see if there were any new impact creators.

And so that's not like a quick job and took a little bit of time and we have not found any. And so we think this strongest of all Mars quakes was likely tectonic. So it was the planet itself doing stuff with the Mars. So there is, even though it is tectonically locked, like there aren't, it's not like plate tectonics like the earth where things are still floating around and moving

and someday we'll get another super continent. Yeah. It does seem like there is some activity in there, which isn't super surprised because it seems like the most recent lava flows on Mars are not billions of years old, like there flows on Mars are not billions of years old. Like they're right. Millions or hundreds of thousands of years old.

So it seems like there's still a tectonic activity on Mars and some day in the future, probably a long time from now, is because it seems like these are rare events. There will still be maybe some things happening. You know, there could be another volcano on Mars someday. Which is wild. Yeah, that is wild. I have a couple follow up questions. Mm-hmm.

Number one, I'm not sure I agree with your premise that we will have a super continent again. Oh, well, we Earth will. Tuck. Yeah. I don't know that we will though, you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, we never had one.

Right, and I don't know that we're gonna. Are you gonna, do you know what, John? I think that we will though, you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, we never had one. Right, and I don't know that we're gonna. I got to, you know what, John? I think that we will, because I don't think that humans is what we are. I think that we are the system of life. And I think that life will still be around that. Making it work is one way or another. Well, I definitely think life will still be around.

So, I guess I agree with you. I kind of like us though as a species. I like us to be around. So I guess I agree with you. I kind of like us though as a species. I like us to hang around. Yes. My second question is, what is a big Mars quake like compared to an earthquake? You know, you'd think I'd know. I think that this one was like a four. Like comparable to a four. I would feel that. So like, feelable, yeah, but I might be wrong about that. I felt, I had a 4.7, it says. I had a 4.7 once, and it kind of rumbled underneath Indianapolis, and I woke up.

Yeah. Yeah, I had a close fight. Have you ever experienced an earthquake before? Oh, yeah. Oh, you say that like it's so obvious. When did you, when did you last experience an earthquake? We Oh, yeah. Oh, you say that like it's so obvious. When did you last experience an earthquake? We have them in Montana. I did not realize this, but like Montana buildings

have to be built to earthquake codes, which- Oh, wow. And so yeah, we've had three, like, three or four like noticeable earthquakes and like one that I was legitimately scary, where like the house was making noise and- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've only been in one scary one. I was legitimately scary, where like the house was making noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've only been in one scary one, that was in Alaska,

but also I don't know if it was actually a scary earthquake or if like, scary meter is just way off. Yeah. Yeah, like the part where the house was like, right, right, right, I was like that, but then nothing was damaged anywhere in town. So it was not obviously not a big, big one. Yeah, but it doesn't take much of the earth shaking beneath you

to be properly frightening. It just doesn't seem like something it should do. Doesn't, it seems like the ground should be stable. Yeah. And then when it's not, it's pretty upsetting. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was, I was like, no, that's not how this works.

But it is. On some level, that's why we had to take six months off from the pod Yeah, you think that things are like stable, but then they're like You can email us your questions at Hank and John at gmail.com Thank you for listening Hank. Thanks for making a pod with me. Yeah, you're welcome. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tune of Metis. It's produced by Rosie on a Hulse Rojas. Our head of community and communications is Brooke Shotwell. Deboki Chocovarty is our editorial assistant.

And Hank Green is a tiny little man. Just a little guy. He lives inside of like a top hat. Yeah. And then he comes out sometimes and he sings and dances like, um, jimmy cricket. Yeah. And it's wild in there. You'd think that it would be boring to live in a top hat.

But there's like a whole house in there. Yeah, it's like the tarot. Yeah, but it scares much bigger on the inside. The wallpaper is very intricate, especially if you're a tiny little hank greed. Yeah, but the wallpaper is kind of like an MC Escher painting, you know? Yeah, yeah, but it's like, it's like velvety.

Oh, it's actually like a jeer. I can feel it. I do love it. I love a textured wall. That's how you know you're in a classy joint. Mm-hmm. Or in this case, classy top hat. It's a classy joint, but it's also,

but it's also a, you're allowed to smoke cigars. Of course, but they're so tiny. They're tiny cigars, so they're not bad for you. And instead of being filled with bubblegum cigars. They're bubblegum cigars. But you do smoke them, but then they smoke you, too, instead of breathing it in. Which everybody knows is fine. It's fine.

It's fine. And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. Don't forget to be awesome. Don't forget to be awesome.