Dear Hank & John - 6: Would You Eat a Moon Sandwich? (w/ Emma Blackery!)

Episode Date: July 13, 2015

Hank is joined by Emma Blackery (youtube.com/emmablackery) to give you some dubious advice about gherkins, Google Plus, fate and being short.If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [e-mail] us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. This is the weekly podcast where I, Hank Green, and usually John Green with this week, Emma Blackery, answer your questions, give you dubious advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. But first, Emma, do you have a poem for us? I do. I decided I would fill in for John and give a nice romantic sort of poem, and I'm going to dedicate it to John, I think.

I think he'll enjoy this one. Okay, are you ready? Yes. Okay. Daniel, my brother, you are older than me. Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal? Your eyes have died, but you've seen more than I. Daniel, you're a star in the face of the sky.

Thank you Emma. I'm glad this is becoming a tradition. As long as John is gone, all of the poems will be Bernie Topin, lyrics. The man who wrote almost all of the L. John's songs. Thanks to Marie and Johnson for starting off that tradition and thank you Emma for continuing it. You're welcome, it's a legacy now. So for everyone who doesn't know Emma Blackery is a YouTuber and a musician and you're something of an advice giver yourself, so I'm excited to welcome you on the show.

Tell us about yourself. Okay, geez. I always hate that question. So tell us about yourself. I know. How could you? Basically, I started making YouTube videos in 2012. I originally started because I wanted to be a musician

and post my own awful self-made music videos, which were just me standing in front of a tripod singing, which is why I call my channel Emma Blackery. And then I started reading 50 Shades of Grey online when it was released, thinking, hey, everyone's reading Twilight, I'm gonna read 50 Shades of Grey. when it was released thinking, hey, everyone's reading Twilight, I'm going to read 50 Shades of Grey. And after they nearly sued me for doing that, for reading all of this copyright infringement and slacking off the book, I decided to start doing more like comedy vlogs and stuff. And that's kind of taken over my channel now.

So it's kind of like my channel is a mixture of music, slash comedy, slash not reading copyrighted books. So it's kind of like my channel is a mixture of music slash comedy slash not reading copyrighted Well the funny thing about reading copyrighted books is it's only okay if you're slagging off on it to use You are afraid that I do not actually know the meaning of it. Oh, yeah, so that's that's a that's a UK thing We have lots and lots of slang but slagging off basically just means you're talking bad about it Trash talking I believe you would say. We sound so weird within a British accent, you know, trash talking. You'd actually be saying, it's like me saying slagging off. That sounds really stupid. Yeah.

So, but yeah, I mean, if you're actually critiquing the thing that you are reading, then it's okay to read the copyrighted material as long as you don't read all of it in sequence, which I think is what you were doing. That's what I did, word for word, every single word. I think I probably could have applied the fair use thing if I'd just taken some things out of context and read a few lines.

Yes, that would have been fine. But I made a few seeming at long videos. Just reading a chapter. Just an audio book of 50 Shades of Grey. But with occasional commentary about how bad it is. But the worst part is. The worst part about it is a couple of weeks before mine got taken down and they were like, Hey, we might sue you for this.

Which they didn't, which was great. Another person who was reading books online made a video saying, oh, I had this book publishing company take my videos down, don't read books online. I was like, oh, that's scary, I better stop. No, you know what, it won't happen to me. And then two weeks later, it just happened to me. So, what advice if you want to start a YouTube channel? Don't just don't read copyright content.

Well, but was that a contributor to your success? Would you say it was it was that's how my channel kind of started getting big so thank you Yeah, well in that case then the the thing that you should say is do do illegal Things that might get you sued but stop once you get big which is really, that's the whole story of how YouTube got big. YouTube used to just be like family guy clips and daily shows. Oh, I remember those days. Stolen. Yeah.

It was all just TV shows before copyright was even a thing. Like, well, copyright was always a thing, but I mean, like content, ideas, stuff, where things just get taken down now and audio gets taken out. You know, I remember those days. Oh, that's like 10 years ago now, isn't it? 10 years from 10 year anniversary this year. Yeah, and I feel like if YouTube hadn't remember those days. Oh, that's like 10 years ago now, wasn't it? 10 years at 10 year anniversary this year.

Yeah, and I feel like if YouTube hadn't had those days, it just like being a really great repository of stolen TV stuff, it would never have gotten as popular as it did. Yeah, I think you're probably right on that, because a lot of people just wanted to access quick, quick clips. And yeah, because I mean, the first video

was a guy at the zoo, the creator of YouTube, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, one of the creators. Yeah, if it was just that, or people talking on my cams and black and white for 10 years, I guess it wouldn't have taken off now. That's right, you're right. That's weird. Basically, break the law, kids.

It's going to be a good day. As long as you're small enough to get away with it, and then as soon as you're, as soon as you're starting to get on people's radar, run away and hide and then pretend like that never happened. And that's really, you know, the story of many YouTubers, not necessarily with copyrighted content, but with doing things that are slightly maybe, you know, the little, little hacks and tweaks and dubious is a good, good word for it. Thanks. I like you word. It's my word at the week. I have I have one at the week

that I never share with anybody. I just I have really in a monologue sort of podcast going on in my head all the time. Do you do this is my word at the week. It's not even a joke. No, I believe you. Yeah. Yeah, it's just for leave wasn't it? Oh, geez. You're going to have a lot of opportunities to use the word dubious, I think today. Just because you're going to have a lot of opportunities to use the word dubious, I think, today. Just because you're gonna have a lot of opportunities to use a lot of words, because this is deer hank and John. Indeed. What? Indeed.

Or ember and hank this way, right? Indeed. Yeah, well, I mean, as long as that's the way you want to say it. Yeah, just waiting till I can write a book and promote it around the world. And then I won't be available, and then it'll just be deer hank and hank. Oh, no! You need your trouble. Oh, God. I'd love to see that. And then I won't be available and then it would just be dear Hank and Hank. Oh no! You're in trouble. Oh god!

I'd love to see that. I would, it'd be awful nice if I could borrow Weezy Waiters' Clooney machine and do an episode of Dear Hank and Hank because, uh, you know, sometimes it's hard to get people on the phone. Uh, everybody's busy, but I'm not, when I'm not busy. But I would say that there's a lot of people that say, oh, you know, there's, there's not, you know, one M of Lackerees enough or one John Green's enough But I genuinely think the world could do with more Hank Greens. Honestly. Oh, thank you

That sounds like I'm just, you know, complimenting you and just trying to make you blush, but genuinely I think if it was a world full of hanks, if you were to replace Every other living being on this planet. I think it would probably be quite a fun place. I'd get sick of it. I think of you super boring. It'd just be, you know, things about Mars all the time, wouldn't it? It'd just be a lot of things about Mars.

I think probably, yeah. I think that, yeah. Well, the problem is that all the hanks would want to send humanity to Mars, but none of them would want to go. Yeah, imagine that would inhibit the person's quite a bit. Because there just be a lot of vomiting on the way. You sure you wouldn't go?

You sure? Oh, that's one way ticket thing that they're and that they're doing right now. Especially not with the one way ticket. I'm not much on the risking of my own life in any circumstance, and Mars mission would be very dangerous. One, two, I get motion sick very easily easily and so weightlessness is sort of not an option for me.

And three, I just, I like, I live in Montana. Like, if I wanted to like a really exciting high stakes life, I'd move to a big city, but I don't. I like the laid back, I like normal things, normal friends, normal life, and doing the normal human-American things. Can I just say, if you want a life where you're just climbing big red rocks in really dry desert, just go to Utah. Just go to Utah.

Oh yeah, we got some pretty Mars-like places in America. Yeah, that was tough. I went to a place called a Brez Canyon, which I didn't even know existed. Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah, it was absolutely gorgeous. Like I genuinely preferred it to the Grand Canyon which a lot of people were really shocked by but we had a horseback ride down the canyon and it was the scariest thing

because the twists and turns were so sharp and these horses didn't know what they were doing. Mine was a muay. So I mean it wasn't doing a very good job of being a horse. But it was scary but it was so beautiful there. so if you're into the whole red rock kind of thing but you're kind of afraid of space travel and death by alien, just go to Bratz Canyon, just go to Utah. There's a little tiny town called Moab, which was absolutely beautiful. Oh my god, Moab is not tiny down there. It's well, no it's not, but I mean what we saw of it was tiny, okay.

I walked to the end of it and back. It wasn't like the tiniest town, but it's walkable. I live in Montana where a tiny town has like eight people. Oh, okay. Well, we don't we don't really have those kind of towns. We call them, well, we say that we say the villages, I guess, but we don't really have like really small towns anymore. Not that long. Yeah, there's not enough space for that in your country. Well, that's the thing, actually, before we go on, you'd be very surprised because you've flown to England before and you've probably looked down, and the amount of green that we do have in our country.

Yeah. Only 10% of our land is inhabited. Seriously, that's a huge high percentage on the global scale. Well, exactly. I don't know if that's actually the specific figure, but I know that it's a very small amount. And like, our politicians that have you believe, oh, there's no room for any more people.

We shouldn't have any more immigrants come in because we haven't got the room. But it's more a case of the room. Yeah, they genuinely say that, but the truth is, where do you get a put them? Exactly, but the truth is, I guess we don't have the money to build houses. I guess that's what they're trying to say.

Right. But they sort of build this sort of, they build this vision of like the island being so heavy that it's six. You know, that's the thing. You can't add anymore people. Exactly, one more person and we're going down boys. We can't have it anymore, you know.

But no, but a lot of it is just, it's just green, you know. Yeah, yeah, you got a beautiful country. It's just, it's just, you know, it's much smaller and with far more people than per unit of space. Yeah, like it's a lot more compressed, you know. Yeah. It's like drinking squash rather than just juice.

It's tough. You don't know what squash is, do you? I do not. Oh, cordial, have you had cordial? Nope, that's unfamiliar as well. It's like really, really concentrated juice that you water down. Oh, we call that concentrate. Oh, well, we don't call it concentrate.

There you go. There you go. This whole podcast is just me translating, well, you translating what I'm saying. Well, you translating what you're saying well you translating what you're saying uh to you yeah to me saying what does this mean I don't know you're supposed to be telling me you know oh well thank you for educating me yeah do you want to hear some questions yeah that's that's kind of warm here just talking about my own country geez yes send me some questions all right our first question is from Alpha,

who asks, dear Hank and Emma, this is mostly for Emma. Last year, I started a channel for music, but I've been inactive for about a year now. And now I'm willing to come back, but I can't find the motivation. Emma inspired me a lot these past few days, as she's been watching your videos. And I want to know what keeps her inspired

in making music videos and writing music. I need your sage advice. Oh, okay. what keeps her inspired in making music videos and writing music. I need your sage advice. Oh, okay. What keeps you inspired? The first was quite confused, because you said in the last few days, I was like, I haven't done the thing in the last few days. I sort of sat in bed feeling really tired. That's not inspiring at all.

I cut a bit out of the question where she talked about how she's been binge watching your videos. Okay, good. I was going to say, like, are you spying on me? Just eating crisps in my underwear? Also chips, potato chips. Ah, to me. Okay, in terms of keeping inspired, I mean in terms of videos, I get inspiration from anywhere. Like just today, I was in a store and I bought a shirt and the lady said, oh, that's a nice shirt. And incidentally, I thought, I'm gonna make a video about this when a when store assistance judged the clothes you're buying. You

know, like I get inspiration for that sort of thing just from everyday stuff. That annoys me. Don't do that. Why not? Don't gel. Don't like tell me whether you like the clothes I'm buying or not, because that means there are some clothes in the store that you don't like. And what if I've picked that up and you're too rude to say, what if you don't actually like this shirt? What if you're saying that because the last thing that you beat through for my stuff was really horrible?

You know what I like though? I really like when I'm at an ice cream shop or some food place where you sort of create your own item. Yeah. And I like, I'm going to get a root beer float, but instead of vanilla, I'm going to use cardamom ice cream. And then the person behind the counter is like, ooh'm gonna get a root beer float, but instead of vanilla, I'm gonna use cardamom ice cream. And then the person behind the counter is like, ooh, that sounds so good.

It makes me feel like this person is, like, they work at an ice cream shop. They're at Connoisseur. They've heard everything. But I like the idea that I could impress them with my superior ice cream ordering skills. That's true. In the UK, I don't know if you guys have this,

but we have it where you go into a restaurant and you say, like, what would you recommend? You ask the waitress, like, what would you recommend, or serve, whatever you guys say? But like, I find that really weird because you're saying to someone else, we've completely different taste buds, completely different genetics, like, what food taste buds, completely different genetics. Like, what food pleases your palate? It's like, I mean, everyone is different. Well, but this is a person who has more expertise than you do.

They work at the restaurant, they've seen the things prepared, they've theoretically tried a lot of the different dishes. I totally get that, but I just find that really weird because if it's someone, because I've had it before, they say, oh, well, I really like this and it's topped with almonds and nuts and I'm just like well I hate nuts so that's that's the question. Yes I also, oftentimes it'll be like the muscles are particularly great here and I'm like that sounds

disgusting. Exactly. I do not talk to me. I do not talk to you. I do not talk to you. And throw them away for you. That's so adorable. Anyway, in terms of being inspired, yeah, making videos, I think actually kind of sadly, it's more a case of it's all I got right now. Like, I quit my job to start doing this. I was a waitress and I started earning more money from YouTube than I did from waitress thing. And I was like, hey, you know what? I'm going to try real hard to make a living out of this. And I was able to. But if I stop making videos, then I guess I go back to Waitresson, where I get up at six o'clock in the morning again.

So the case of I have to do it, which sounds like a really bad sort of inspiration. It kind of makes you sound like you're gonna hate it. Like it's a job now. And I think that's very, very good in keeping me inspired. It's like, well, if I don't do it, I'm poor. In terms of music, I'm a really bad role model in terms of inspiring people to make music

because I haven't written anything in about a year. So, so I don't, this is the thing because a lot of people, I was saying this today actually, to someone else, some people write music every day, but they're musicians who just pick up a guitar and write a new song every single day. They force themselves to get inspired. I can't do that.

Like I genuinely, when I go with my writing processes, okay, I've got an EP that I need to write in about two weeks. I'm going to be recording in two weeks, I better write some songs. And I'll just work on four or five songs, you know, and luckily the will turn out pretty alright, I think. But you know, I don't really, I don't force myself to write. I think that was- It sounds like you do force yourself to write. It sounds like you- Oh, yeah, but not like every day.

Record an EP, alright, right. Yeah, for like- Having that thing that you have to get done. For me, that's a lot of what it is, too. It's like, you know, from the beginning of Vlogbrothers, we've had a schedule that we have to abide by or else. And knowing that, knowing when I have to have a video done every Friday means that I'm thinking, you know, certainly today and also all of the previous days of the week, like, what the heck is that video going to be about?

Is it going to be a response to John? Is it gonna be something about how to make sure that you don't use, I've been seeing a lot of people friends emailing me and they use the wrong word, and I'm just like, that's fine. I know what would you mean. I'm not gonna correct you on it, but if I were an employer, I'd be like, that you can't, you got to watch, you got to

not do that. Yeah. You got it. So maybe make a video about like, here's some words that people commonly use wrong and this will prevent you from looking like an idiot, not that you are an idiot, but you don't want to look like one. So you just get inspiration from like everyday things. You get inspiration, but it's not like, the thing that's really inspiring isn't the everyday thing. It's the knowing that you have to make a

thing and so you're constantly your brain is on looking for things to make things with. Exactly. Like if you create switches on, you can find inspiration from a lot of places. I think in a way, I want to say you're kind of lucky. In the use, obviously, you and John started this channel, or simply, you know, vlog brothers to talk to each other. So it's a case of, if you wanted to quit at any time, you kind of could, but you kept it up because you were dedicated to it, both of you. And then suddenly you were massed this massive community

of people that notified us that suddenly, we're also depending on these videos. So now it's not just your brother that wants a video every Friday. It's like three million people on a video Friday. Right, and in the end, that's the most inspiring thing is like the knowing that I can't let these people down,

but that's not helpful to somebody who doesn't already have an audience. But like that's really the thing that keeps me making videos and keeps me like caring a lot about whether or not they're good and like fretting when I know that they're not what they could be is that I have these people who I rely on and have given me great gifts and I can't let them down.

True, but like sometimes I look at all the things you're involved with and I just think how is he doing this? Have you actually got Weezy Wade's Cloning Machine? Because instead of the Cloning Machine, I hire people which is how I do lots of things. But it's still you. It's still you with Crash Course and SciShow and Vlogbrothers. And I see

you all over the place. Now you've got a podcast. I can't do that with you. There must be six of you. There has to be. I sleep a normal amount. I work more than an average person, but only because my work is so fun. And yeah, I just have lots of help and lots of, and I also have the, like,

and also an inspiring thing about having this audience is that they are like, because they're passionate and they want to help and we share values. If I have a new idea, a new thing, they're likely to come and check it out and at least see if they like it and if they don't, they might go away, but if they do, they might become new loyal podcast listeners. And sometimes just the fact that you can do something,

it feels like you, since you can, you should and you kind of have an obligation to, because especially if other people want to do that thing and you have an easy path to it, and I sometimes feel like a jerk if I'm like, well, I could, but I don't have time to fulfill this thing that is a dream of millions of people. Like, the problem with me though is that I often get released spontaneous. I'll go through phases where like, I'm going to make this channel, This is a genius idea. I'm gonna make this, I'm gonna be dedicated to it and then like a month later I would just be like oh I have not

uploaded them there for three weeks. You know I'm I'm really awful at just making really rash decisions like I don't plan things out. I just do them. Which I am working on. It's it's all about self-improvement. You know you've got to be a better human every day. That's kind of one of my sayings but yeah I was I was get really excited about projects. I'm like yeah I'm gonna film and like when I when I came up my second channel which is like a lifestyle beauty kind of thing. I filmed like 20 videos in advance. I was like see now now I'm ahead now I can keep doing this and now I haven't uploaded on there in about three weeks. So it this case, it's like being inspired is hard, I think.

Yeah. I think it's hard to keep yourself motivated, but I would say at first, I don't know because I don't know if it's better to apply pressure to yourself as in, you know, you have to have this done, like you and John do, or whether it's easier to not apply pressure to yourself and go, I'm going to take it slow, I'm going to do it in my own pace,

which is kind of what I do. But I think it depends on what works for you, really. I mean, I think we both work in very different ways, but we both get our content up. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I think that the, for me, forcing yourself to do something, even if nobody's watching is great, because I think no matter what if you're creating,

you're improving yourself, you're being empathetic, you're thinking about what other people think, would think about your content, you're creating stuff that you think is good, you're getting better at creating, you're getting better at thinking critically. All that stuff is part of the making process, no matter what you're making, if you're making a business or a painting or a video blog.

It's all about, these are very complicated exercise and no matter whether you're doing it just for yourself or you're doing it for an audience, it's always a kind of self improvement. So I try to think of it that way, even when I'm making something that I know that somebody's never gonna see, I'm like, well, at least I'm doing this thing

that's helping me understand myself better and helping me understand the world better. Yeah, like I think no matter what it is, no matter who sees it, if it has a positive outcome, whether it's for you, or whether it's just for like you and a friend, or like, you know, if no one's gonna see it and it just makes you feel better, then do it.

If it's only got a positive thing, then there's no reason why you shouldn't do it. And there's, I mean, it's almost like because there's now this this very sort of terrifying internet thing where anybody's creation, if it's clever, funny enough, can get, you know, a million notes on Tumblr that it's almost not worth it to make something that's not going to get a million notes on Tumblr, but that's, of course, a fallacy. I think it's a trap that a lot of YouTubers want to do.

Like a lot of YouTubers want to, I mean, I've fallen into this trap where you think, I'm gonna make this video because it's gonna go viral. And it's the worst way of thinking. It's completely, completely poisonous. When you choose a topic, you think, oh, that's gonna get a lot of views

because that's the worst thing you can do. Because especially if you've started to build an audience through not doing that, like for those weasier way. So even me, like I just started just talking to a camera about my own personal views. So when you start making videos that you think, oh, that's kind of a clickbait title, that's the sort of thing that Buzzfeed would do, you know, which is what I've kind of done recently, admittedly, you know, it's good for views, but it's not good for the audience

that you already have and they can feel like you're abandoning them. So just stay true to yourself. And at the end of the day, I would say in terms of, you know, being inspired to make music and videos, just make them for yourself. And I always say that, make videos that you would enjoy watching. And eventually the people that enjoy your stuff will find you, you know, if YouTube works.

Yeah, as long as all the parts don't break. Do you want to give us another question? Sure, I'll read the next one. This one is from Ellen, and she says, I'm an America with school for the first time. I'm from the UK. And I tried a corn dog for the first time yesterday. And I understand now why you like them so much, Hank.

I'm not really sure if John likes them too. I just wanted to ask, if you could only ever eat one food again, what would it be? My answer is definitely not corn dogs. I think they're the worst thing on the planet. You've had a corn dog. So that's a controversial. I have. Yeah, I had one at Disney. It was literally a hot dog fried, just deep fried, in batter. It was the way it was staying and it didn't work. I just thought it was awful. I cannot understand how you feel the way you feel. I understand how, what I mean is I understand how people can like them because they've

got that kind of satisfying crunch, the texture. But for me, it was just, maybe it was the way it was cooked. Maybe it wasn't done right at Disney, but it was really greasy. And I was just sitting there. It made me feel really full. Although I had eaten an entire deal pickle before I ate that. Because as much as I like corn dogs, I can just eat a whole deal pickle. You guys do them in bags. We don't have that in the UK. You guys do like bad pickles.

It's the best thing. They take the makeup of, you know, they make fun of them. Canadians having bad milk. But if you guys have bad pickles, and I think that's the best invention. So if I can only have one food again, it will probably be bad pickles, do pickles. I think that's great. That's the answer. That sounds so awful to me. That's my answer. You don't like pickles? I don't like pickles. They're so, there's way too much flavor in a pickle. All the vinegar, it's painful. It's just, it is clearly a chemical

that is designed to kill things, which is what pickling is. And so I don't know why one would pour a bunch of dilute acetic acid solution into their stomachs. I only found out, like about a year ago, that a pickle is just a cucumber. I only found that out about a year ago. a pickle is just a cucumber. Like I only found that out about a year ago. It's just a cucumber vinegar and it blew my mind. I thought pickles just grew. Yeah, I'm awful. Well they give it a different name and everything. Don't really name it because you've shoved it in acid.

Well, I'm not really fine. I might get that framed. Don't rename it because you've shoved it and affid. It's strange that there's lots of pickled things. You can have pickled beets and you can have pickled onions. Pickled onions and pickled relishes is a pickled things in relish. But you can't have pickled cucumbers. You just have pickles.

It's standard. And what if you had a pickle? So it's a pickle cucumber and then you put it back in vinegar because then it's just a pickled pickle and that doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make sense that they will pull it a pickle. A pickle. A pickle was a verb. You can't do that. You know, it changes from a verb to a noun. That's not right. English language is mad. But I like them. I think they're great. I don't know how often you personally eat McDonald's, but I have to ask, are you the kind of guy that would take the pickle out of the big Mac? Yeah. Yeah. Well, my wife loves pickles. So I take the pickle out of the big Mac and I give

them to her and she like it's double pickles. Okay, good. Because like, even though I don't eat big Macs anymore, because I usually went vegetarian, which is explained why I don't like corn dogs. like even though I don't eat big maximum or cause I, I usually went vegetarian. Which is explain why I don't like corn dogs. Um. I'm, I'm the person, well, I used to be the person, everyone would just, you know, they'd take out the pickle and just throw it at me.

Although we call them gurgings over here. So that's a good name. See, that's better. G-H-E-R-K-I-N, gurgin. And can you, can you explain to me what a H is? No. A H. You don't, oh, you don't me what a H is? No. A H. You don't, oh you don't say H do you?

You say H. Correct. Oh, and you, you know what really annoys me and a lot of British people? Why don't you say hub? It's a, I don't know. It has a H. It's a hub. It's not an herb.

What's an herb? It's just thinking with a U. I? I'm just really enjoying you saying herb. It's awful. I'm using you as the spokesperson for America right now. Why do you say herb? Why do you say, why do you say, and herb? Yeah, that's true. Because.

That's just awful, Like that makes no sense. The only reason that the N exists is so is you do. I've heard British people say that. I will have to check so that we can cut this part of the podcast if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'm right. Well, I mean, in my accent, I'm from a place called Essex, which is notorious for having sort of, you know, like Cockney Rhyme in slang and the sort of commoners, like all of a twist, please say, I can have some more.

I know it's like London, but imagine those old time Londoners coming to another place, that's what Essex is. And that's what my accent is, like Russell Branden, is that accent? And we would say, if you've got any herbs, like we'd just say herbs, but we'd say, if you've got any herbs, not like herbs, you know, we leave out of the ages with my accent.

And you are not convincing me that that's different. Because of course you say it differently, because you have an accent, but you don't use the accent. You have an accent. So, huh, we, everyone has an accent. All right, happy to last. All right.

We came from this. I don't know. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent.

We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent.

We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. We have an accent. All Americans are really loud, and the British just go really, really quiet. Really quiet. You just really have to swear that day. You know, like that's so separate, like the July 4th is so separate from the idea

of independence from the UK. We never think of independence from Britain. We think of independence just like we are independent. We are free. And mostly we're thinking about, mostly just thinking about ourselves. And in no way do we consider America's context, like the broader context of America in global society. In fact, Joyforth is the day on which you want

to do that the least. Because if you do that, then it's kind of complicated and you're like, is America great? It's a lot of good and bad things. But you don't want to feel that way. You want to be like boom, that thing exploded. Give me a hot dog. Exactly.

And all the way to getting to whore of whatever the tea thing was about. And then you got the small pox thing. Like I said, we're not doing any of it at all. Yeah. It's just not. Oh, that's fine. Well, we're not taught anything about all of your wonderful

kings and your, and your cromwells. And you got you well, we're not taught anything about all of your wonderful kings and your and your crom wells and your No, we don't know anything about that. World War two. Skip over World War one. Well, it kind of comes up and not that off. It comes up when you're like 13, 14. It's like, well, we're dying at the end. Hitler. It was bad. Yeah, World War one. Bad idea. Don't do that again. Okay.

Or just do it again immediately. Yeah, World War One. Bad idea. Don't do that again. Okay. Or just do it again immediately. Yeah, a couple years later, with a guy who served in World War One, so has expertise. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We're good at chatting. We're good at chatting. I haven't answered the question. I would probably eat. I don't know what would I eat. I know. Probably not. No, I think I would have to. I would want something that would have enough nutritional content for me to not die of a vitamin deficiency. I would recommend, if it was a single piece of food

and you wanted to live forever, I would probably recommend tomato. Oh, I don't like them. I mean, I like them. I wouldn't leave this podcast. I don't, I like them. I just, I couldn't eat them, like buy myself, buy themselves every day.

I didn't buy themselves as a snack all the time. Alright Sarah asks dear Hank and John I'm in my first year of med school and I failed chemistry which means that I have to do it next year and will delay my career I have always been a good student So this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I feel like a complete failure Do you have any tips on dealing with screwing up? Yeah? It's happened now, so yeah now. So that's it. Yeah, life didn't take. That's it.

Like, you can't go back. And I hate when people say, like, you know, if you could do things differently, what would you do? And then they say, oh, well, I wouldn't do anything differently because it's meant to be this way. Because even though I believe in fate, and I honestly do believe everything needs meant to happen for a reason, which you may disagree

with being a scientific kind of guy. But I think when it comes to screwing up, you have to say to yourself, at the time, I did my best and it didn't go the way I planned. And now, instead of dwelling on the past, I have to find a way of working around it. If it's put you behind a year, that year is going to give you a lot more experience in life. You might even just, you might have some life-changing things happen in the next year. And you might find that you're actually a lot more well-equipped to do the next year. In the year that it's taking you to get back

on the track. But I think that comes to if you wake up every day and feel bad about every mistake you've made, you're just not going to want to get out of it. And I think that's a very bad way of living, if you just live in regret all the time. Completely agree. I actually majored in chemistry, and the first, my first semester of chemistry I did very poorly.

I don't, I think I got a C. It wasn't bad enough that I had to retake the class, but it was bad enough that I was like, I have, I did not expect, yeah, I did not expect to ever do this poorly in a class. Like I thought that I would always do well because I'd always done well in high school because high school was pretty easy.

And what I did for the next, what I did was I was like, well I can't do the same thing I did again. I have to think about this differently. And so it was an opportunity to say, like, why didn't I learn this well? Why wasn't I able to do this? And like, I kind of completely reformed the way

I studied and tried to learn things. And like, I thought about it carefully, not about like chemistry, but about how I learn. Like, I mean, if you failed something, it may be a case of things just not sticking in your brain properly, or you didn't understand a certain formula. You like, you never kind of got it,

and the nerves got the better view or something. But you go, if you go back, not just relearning that subject that you didn't do well at, but the way that you process things, I think you're completely right. I think that's one of the best things you can do in front of yourself personally. And one of the, like, learning how to learn

is really the trick of school. Yeah, definitely. I wish I knew that 10 years ago. Yeah. I wish I actually revised anything 10 years ago. I didn't study at all. I never studied. I was the arrogant kid who never did any homework,

never did any studying, and still got AIDS. Except for this one time, I was in what you guys would call middle school. I was 15. I think that's middle school I think yeah, maybe go to school. Yeah, we just call it a secondary school, but I I got into I started studying physics. It was a subject you could take at middle school and in the first lesson he I teach made us take a pop quiz and I went in there thinking yeah, I've done really well in science so far I've got this I like physics, physics is cool and I've got an E which was the lowest you could get because he refused to ask. So I remember just getting it back like the next lesson and I just, I stayed behind after

class and cried my eyes out because it was such a slap in the face. Not in an offended way, but it was like, reality hit me hard, that I'm clearly not good at this. As I thought I would just walk in there and do well and come out going, yeah, that was easy. But I sat behind when my teacher, I said, you know, I'm really upset, what did I do wrong? And he was like, first off, you need to just you need to calm down

Crying is not gonna give you an A and That kind of that advice just sort of brought me through the next year. I worked super hard I actually did the homework for that class that I was lucky because my teacher actually made it interesting Actually really really enjoyed studying physics with him I'm although it's really really really easy physics. No, we didn't even learn many formulas or anything It was just a Chernobyl, mostly, for the whole thing. But at the end of it, when I took GCSEs,

I don't know what you guys would call them, your end of middle school exams. I had gotten A in physics. So I went having an E. No, I got an A star, which is like A plus. So I got the highest mark he could get, because I applied myself and I had a teacher who was really supportive. So I would also say like if you feel as though

you've let yourself down in terms of chemistry, go back to your tutor and just have a chat with them and say I feel really knocked back. My confidence is completely gone. What can I do? And see if they can give you extra classes. I don't know, obviously obviously how the American school system works But if there's a way of like staying behind and you know having revision sessions, you know studying

Then I'd be all for that as well. Yeah, absolutely. I took a lot. Wow You can really go Wow geez. Yeah, sorry. I feel like you I feel like you kind of remembered a great deal about your your childhood there That maybe you haven't thought about it in a while. I mean yeah, it was like eight years ago Yeah, like he was he was a good teacher Yeah, I feel that this is probably gonna be the longest podcast ever have fun editing this yeah indeed Cat asked dear hankin. Oh, what what what okay fine? You missed a question. Oh, you're right, I did.

Which is really important. So you weren't reading the right question, but you skipped me. All right, right. Was it like being a vlog brother, huh? Andrew asks, dear Hank and Emma, oh dear Emma and Hank, if you gene something, Surnin, Kernan, you know who that is.

I don't. If that dude had left a bacon sandwich on the moon in 1971, number one, with the bacon sandwich still be safe enough to eat, and number two, given the chance, would either of you eat said bacon sandwich. I don't know about the first one, but the second one was kinda easy. I'm vegetarian, so no, unless it was corn bacon, in which case, I think life's too short to not eat a moon sandwich. The good.

I would say, if a national came out to me and went, hey we found this in the moon, do you want to eat it? You'd be an idiot to say no. Alright, I will venture a guess on number one, which is that it would still be safe to eat. Do you reckon? Yeah, I do have oxygen in space. Just a little, like not-

Just tiny, tiny bit. Yeah, I think that- I've been full-eat for I think it's been a long time But what the question really isn't it has it degraded or oxidized which would not make it unsafe It would just make it less tasty which it definitely would be less tasty It wouldn't make it unsafe though because Even if it had bacteria on it would probably be sterilized by the temperature fluctuations. It would be very hot and then very cold,

because like the sides of the moon, one faces the sun. It'll get, yeah. Oh yeah, the surface of the moon gets hot. Because it's in the sun. It's in the sun. I did not do any revision. That's fine.

And then, and it would be sort of, it would be bombarded by the rays of the sun, which would also sterilize it. So it would be safe to eat. I'm pretty sure. And, and less I'm missing some way that bacon could decay into something dangerous. Do you think my rays can sterilize bacon sandwiches?

I don't know. I mean, there's something in there. Oh, but like it I mean, there's a lot of things that I don't know. Oh, but like it's like, there's a bunch of, yeah, you will. You can sterilize it or completely destroy it. Yeah, so what would happen is like the high energy UV radiation of the sun would sterilize and break down the sandwich.

Like if you, if just like sort of a bacon sandwich of sitting in space, the thing that would eventually degrade it would just be being bombarded by the radiation, like solar radiation. No, I thought you were going to say it just got hit by tiny little asteroids. That actually would be a thing. Like it eventually would probably be hit by enough tiny little asteroids that it would break apart. Ah, that's a good point.

So it's a matter of the sandwich floating in space and this time that we're rocked, just hitting it. And like the bacon flying out in slow motion. Yeah, that is a beautiful image. I had to be able to understand how space worked, ever. Like, would a sandwich even move? Would it break apart? How does it even move in space?

There's nothing up there. I mean, it's also completely dark. How would you see if anything's happened? Well, it's not. It's not. It's with the bacon sandwich move. Who knows?'s not. With the bakers I would move. Who knows? I should be on the SciShow.

I'd be great. So I wouldn't be given answers. I'd just be doing hypothetical questions and then bug myself out like this. If you want to just send us SciShow questions for us to answer and like have an Emma Blackery segment of like, how does things even move in space? I don't understand how space works. Then I would be happy to answer those questions for you.

I genuinely did consider being a president of space so that I could get a question. I don't know what the question was, but now that this is official, there is definitely gonna be an M of Black recycling on every side show from now on. It's confirmed by Hank Green himself. All right, it's done.

And given the chance, would I eat the bacon sandwich, I would first want to do science on the bacon sandwich. I don't know what kind of science I'd want to do. But... There's not time for science. Given the... It's bacon sandwich. I mean, if you're going to bring it back to Earth, it started to get the grade. You know, that bacon started to warm up since it got back in the rocket ship, rocket ship spaceship. I don't know. I just watched kids TV. You know, it's gonna start degrading. It's gonna start getting gross. You have to eat pretty quick.

I did food hygiene courses when I was a waitress and you've only got a few hours before that meat gets nasty. So you don't have to prove it unless you're gonna like freeze it with that liquid. Maybe I'll eat half the bacon sandwich and leave the other half to do science on. But don't put science in the priority. But I think if given the opportunity, you have to eat a space sandwich. Thank you. It's a moon sandwich, but thank you. Okay, you've been asking the next question.

All right, Kat asks, dear Hank and Emma, how are you feeling about Google, Google plus these days? Uh, they, they, they, uh, we went on a date and they, they didn't, they didn't come back. Uh, they, I think they swipe left or something. I don't know. Um, Google plus don't hate me, which is good. Really? Yeah, they don't. Um, they hate me for a while. Apparently I was actually told by a few people who knew people who worked at Google that they really, really were mad at me. If people don't know what's going on, Emma wrote a song about how she did not feel enthusiastic about the transition of YouTube's sign-in system to integrate with Google+. Which is a Google social media. Yeah, and so they were kind of mad for a few weeks after I wrote that song,

and about a week after I released it, I had to go into Google for a meeting, which it was all right, I thought it would be really awkward, but they just didn't mention it, which they've continued to do. I think they're just not mentioning it. Apparently now I have actually heard that a lot of people who work within Google+, said they completely agree with the song, which is quite bad. I think if you work for a social media site and they go, yeah, she was right. Our site's awful. I'm not going to name names, but yeah, a few people have said to me, yeah, they actually like it and they realize you were right. And now no one's a Google+.

And I'm not saying I've built down an entire social media website by myself, but you know, it did go viral. You're looking at the person that can bring down a social website, whether you've loaded. Well, we're not looking at you, but we are listening to you. Here on Dear Hank and John podcast, that is brought to you by Google Plus. Oh, don't say that. I have to write another song about how great they are. I can go and find a ukulele somewhere.

You should do that. You should come back and you should write a song about how wonderful they are. I can go and find a ukulele somewhere. You should do that. You should come back and you should write a song about how wonderful Google Plus is and how wrong you were. I had a friend over on April 1st. I had a friend over on April 1st, saying, we love you, Google Plus. They just, they just overdubbed it with, it's the best thing since sliced bread.

And it was terrible. How do you think about Google Plus? Oh, you know. The usual. We talk sometimes, you know, it's a casual shit. I don't think about Google+. Ever. I don't think it thinks about you, Hank.

I don't think it thinks. Let's hope it doesn't think. Because if it's thought. If Google+. Go sentient, I am running for my life. Seriously. Yes, hide. If it's like a transformer, I am running away. He will not find me. I will be on the moon. Oh no, he knows I'll be on the moon. He's listening. Can I ask you a question about Walmart?

Is it true? That they sell guns in Walmart? Yes, that is true. That's ridiculous. That's like my local supermarket. That's like my local supermarket. That's like as does selling guns. What? You have like a gun section, is that a thing? It's like in the fishing rob section. No, no, no. So you got where the fishing supplies

and the camping supplies are, then there's also guns so that you can get in shoot the deer or something. But I mean like they don't let you just take up a gun fire. No. Like you have shooting ranges in the US and everything like you can just take a gun, take your neighborhood gun, you know. Well it's not like a shared gun, it's your own gun. Yeah, no. You take your gun down, you could take it to the shooting range and practice your gunmanship. That's weird.

It's so weird. Yeah, I also think it's weird. It is not like I am a gun owner of myself. I do not know. I was going to say you don't seem like the gunner guy don't own a gun. I mean kids get fucking shot. I mean, it's not worth it. It's not worth the first, second slash whatever amendment you guys have.

Well, I mean, for a lot of people, it is the second amendment, yes. The first freedom of speech, right? Correct. That's all I know. Yeah, so we have the freedom of speaking with your mouth, and you also have the freedom of being able to if the circumstance arrives to speak with your guns. Oh, this next question is good. Do you want to read it out? Sure. Halle asks, do you're Hank and Emma? I'm a senior in high school and I

am very very short. Luckily for me, I'm a girl. And girls don't get teased as often about being short as guys do. And also high heels exist. But I'm also not very good at about feeling confident about my shortness. And I was wondering if you have any advice. My advice as someone who is 157 centimeters, which is not tall, it's 5 foot 2. My advice would be, you can't do anything about it. You're stuck. You're not going to grow. So you either hate yourself the rest of your life or you embrace it.

For instance, I used to, I was never teased for being short. I had people, I always have people use it as an icebreaker. Whenever I meet people who watch my videos, I say, you're so short in real life, as if I don't know. And I've actually taken to it sometimes, so I've been really sarcastic and just jumped back and gone, oh my god, everyone's so tall and just freaking out, you know, in sarcastic ways just to make them feel really awkward about it But now I'm just like, well, you know, people are just gonna try and use an icebreaker But in terms of like being teased, I was never, I was, I was never teased about it But I started seeing it in a positive light, for instance, if you're short, you are the last person to know when it's raining And you are the last person that's gonna it's raining and you are the last person that's going to get really drenched in heavy rain. If you were to climb Mount Everest at exactly the same time as a tall person, you would live longer because the air would be thinner for the other people. Although you would be the first to probably die in a room that was flooding if you couldn't get out.

But I try to not think of that one. But you know, I mean being short has its benefits for sure. Like I can walk under many low bridges that my friends have to duck under. I don't have to duck. I hardly ever have to duck, you know, which is great. If I fall over, it's not as far to the ground. So even though you'd think it would be proportional, it doesn't hurt as much, I'm sure of it.

No, that is definitely true. I would say as a tall person, so I'm 61, which is above average, I never notice how like the height of other people, unless they are taller than me. So because 90% of people are shorter than me, I, like, all people who are shorter than me are the same height in my perception.

So just as, like, to understand how people who are taller than you are seeing it, they're probably not seeing you as particularly short. Just. That's interesting. Yeah, I really, and well, I guess like when somebody gets to be like, like, five foot for, for 11 kind of height, then I'm like, you are a short person. And I like, I see that. But like, I never feel like it's a, I'm five foot two. That's even shorter than that. I am very small.

I just, I mean, like four foot 11, like, like not even five foot. Oh, okay. I thought you meant like five foot four and 11 bits of an inch or something. I was like, that's really specific. Now very enough, yeah, like you can, that's the thing. You notice like the extremities. Like, for instance, I wouldn't go to you. I wouldn't think, wow, Hank Green is really tall because you do see people who were six foot one. Yes. I'm not saying you're very, very common. I'm just saying that, you know, you say, yes, it isn't about, you know, it's above average height, but it's not, it's not like ridiculous at all.

Like, I know people who are six foot seven. And they are very, very tall. Yeah, then it's like, what just happened? Like, if you see Rhett of Rhett and Link, then you're like, oh my goodness. And then he's got the hair. I've never met Rhett. Yeah, you'll, yeah, you'll come up to his waist, he's ridiculous.

What I find very annoying is that I once had a friend who like, there was like six foot six. And we run on tour together and people just made us stand next to each other all the time. Just because it's funny, I was gendling the nipple height. It was horrible, I really, really was nipple height. But another good thing about being short is that if you are a kind, generous person, if you are quite short, if you are five foot two, you are the absolute perfect height for an arm rest. If someone tall or of an average height is standing next to you and they want a ponder, they want to just think, you know, stroke their beard but have their arm resting on something.

You are the best perch. Your shoulder is an incredible perch. I make people do it when they need to think. When they're stressed out to say, perch, perch over here, and it's just tap on my shoulder. And they do, and they feel better. So, you know, it's all about embracing the things that you don't like about yourself. I mean, if you're really, really,

insecure about things that you can change, then I am all for people to change them. I'm completely pro-plastic surgery if the reasons are good, if the reasons are just because it makes you feel more confident. But with your height, there's not much you can do, apart from like you said, wear high heels or that really drastic surgery.

I don't know if you heard about it, where they take a break your legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they break your legs. And then they regrow the bone and you gain about two inches. And I've read stories about people who have done that and they say they don't regret it even though you lose like a year of your life. But I would say honestly, quite frankly,

you can't do anything about it. You're sure. Yeah. Well, and the other thing about being sure is that it's fine. Like, I don't know that anybody has a lot of negative, like there are sort of a general negative series of opinions about short people, especially short women.

Yeah, there's not negative connotations. Yeah. Short men, you kind of see them as like Lord Farquad from Shrek a little bit, sometimes. Yeah. You think, short evil man, like plankton from SpongeBob, you know, you think, oh, is a short evil person. With women, a lot of people just say it cute.

You know, they say it's cute. Which I guess is actually very, very sexist. But. Totally. Oh, yeah, definitely. But I, I, yeah, and this is a problem with society, not with the people who have, who are, you know, at the outskirts of a bell curve. And there's, yeah, so the, the good news is it's not that bad of a thing to be in terms

of society's weird hang-ups, not in terms of like reality, which of course it's not in terms of reality, which of course it's not in terms of reality. But the other good news is that even if it were something that is like society is weird and hung up about, the best thing that you can be is confident about. In your knowledge that society is weird about things that are even the very slightest bit different and that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with how weird our like

in general cultures can be. You can't change culture immediately or on your own, but just or on your own, but just being comfortable. And I know so many strong, powerful, amazing, short women. And it turns out that it has nothing to do with anything about them, except for how high up they can reach. Yeah, basically, the shorter you are, the better you are, is what Hank is trying to say. So, if you're full and listening to it, if're five foot four Hank is not gonna like you but I mean you're completely right like you know your height doesn't reflect anything about your part from how you feel about your height that's the only

thing it reflects people I mean I would say it's a final thought to to to Halley if that's how you pronounce it might it might be Haley, maybe Haley, I don't know, I'm English. I would say how often how many hours a day do you spend looking at people going, well, they're tall, well, they're short, well, they're average, those people will probably spend in the same amount of time as you, not not at all, you know, it's very easy to overthink it, especially if you're really insecure about it, like I used to be really insecure about my teeth and I used to think everyone was constantly stirring my teeth. The fact is when someone's talking, they're looking at your mouth, deliberate. You know, but you do get very self-conscious, but it's about overcoming it and embracing

it. I'm totally fine with being short now. I mean, you may, how you might be shorted on me, but it's a case that you have to find the positives in it, otherwise it's just going to completely weigh you down. Or get your legs broken. Your choice. Those are the options. We have one last question, I think. And it's for me, apparently.

Apparently, I answered it. It's a girl called Emma. I wrote this question. No, I didn't. I was just saying, it would be really, really weird if I sent this question in a few weeks ago thinking, oh, I love this podcast. I hope John answers this question. No, I didn't. I was just saying it would be really, really weird if I sent this question in a few weeks ago. Thinking, oh, I love this podcast. I hope John answers my question. That would be bad.

But, actually, I should read this. So Emma asked, dear Hank and Emma, I know that as people, we're always growing and changing. I'm someone who believes everything happens for a reason. I'm completely the same. However, some of the things that we do are just absolutely cringey and horrible. So my question is, how do you not regret the bad or strange things you've done even knowing it may do who you are? That's a good question. You just, you already answered this question, this podcast.

I did! That's weird. You do, you regret them. You regret the bad and strange things you've done, and part of that regret is what made you who you are. Yeah, I mean... Even the regret. And don't regret your regret because then you just get caught up in the cycle. Well, the thing is, like, when you hear that day and day out but you still get really, like, cringy about the things you've done,

it doesn't really help when someone says, oh, well, it's made you who you are today because that doesn't negate the fact that what you did is really embarrassing. I think it's completely, I think it's a very, very, very positive thing to regret something. Because it means that you've grown, it means you've changed, it means that you go in back in time, you wouldn't do that thing.

Therefore, you are a better person. As I said earlier in the podcast, my main motto in life is to be a better person every day, improve on yourself every single day, and looking back at things that you've done thinking, oh, why did I do that? That means that you wouldn't make those mistakes again. And it's good, because if you said to yourself, oh, I don't regret anything I've done, then in a way, you're almost being foolish in a way that you're thinking, oh, well,

it was meant to be that way. And you're leaving the door open to thinking that you might do it again. You know, like with my music, I don't want to keep, I'm not trying to promote my own music future. You can buy an iTunes, this podcast is sponsored by my EPs. But I would, I look back at my old music and some of the songs I'm like, oh, that song is so boring, or that song is so simple. It was like the first single that I have released on YouTube.

I loved the song at the time, I thought it was so catchy, but now listen to it. I was like, oh, this is so awful. The lyrics are so bad, but I don't see that as a bad thing. I see the song as bad, but I see it as good that I'm now looking at it as an improved person, saying that clearly I have got better at writing if I find this bad. Yeah, I mean, Regret serves a purpose in us,

and it's a thing that is unpleasant, but it triggers the analysis of our previous actions that led to negative outcomes. And that analysis is good up to a point, over analyzing that, getting caught up into it and never leaving it behind is a kind of disorder. But in general, regret and considering in those like cringy feelings of like, oh God, I did that thing,

it's about giving you an opportunity to think about the actions you have taken that have led to negative outcomes and why they led to those negative outcomes. So don't get caught up too much in regretting things, but don't not regret them. The thing that you, that like I really dislike in our culture is often this idea that like you can't, you know, you have to stay true to your something.

And to me, you know, the self, like who I am, is a different person every day. Like we constantly evolve. To me, the self, like who I am, is a different person every day. We constantly evolve. We create ourselves and we're different from day to day. And that is not something to be ashamed of, it's something to be proud of, because that means that, ideally, you have more life experience, you have a better understanding of yourself and other people, and that's allowing you to grow as a person,

which means that you're going to look back at some of the things you've done and said and be like, oh, why did I believe that or why did I make that stupid mistake or why did I give into that base emotion and do that mean thing? And that's good because it means that hopefully hopefully in the next the next time you're faced with you know like giving into a base emotion and doing a mean thing You'll be like well. I don't want to feel this this bad this regret that I've felt for years about that time that I did a thing like that So I shouldn't do it this time. Yeah, it's good Like if you ordered chili cheese fries and you didn't like them It's okay to regret it because then you're not going to order them again.

It's what Hank is basically saying. I just like in the analogy of chili cheese fries which I don't like. Yeah, except the problem with your analogy is that chili cheese fries are amazing. Oh, you like everything I hate. I would just have the deal pickles. I'm fine. Oh, how horrid. But I mean, I would also say really, really quickly before we move on to the news of this week's

podcast and about if it's weekly or monthly or what by now. I would also just really quickly say that even though I say, you know, you're okay to regret things, don't live in that regret. Like you said, I think it is important to be able to keep the past separate from who you are now. Let your past experience affect who you are today in a way that means you won't do that bad thing again. But don't just don't dwell on them too much. I know that's something.

I said, I don't like it when people say that, but I completely agree with them. I personally do believe in fate. I believe in destiny. I do believe that everything is planned out. I believe it's all I said I don't like it when people say that but I completely agree to them that I I personally do believe in fate I believe in destiny I do believe that everything is planned out I believe it's all mapped out for you and I understand that might not be something that a lot of people just you know agree with. But that's the belief that I have and it keeps me going I try not to preach about it. But um but if it's it's a case of you have to be able to say that was then and this is now it's it going to keep coming back to haunt you, but over time, you do get less cringy about things. In the instance

of like, if you've done something embarrassing a week ago, that cringe burn is still going to be there. Your cheeks are still going to go deep red from doing something. And that's good, because that means in the space of a week you regret doing something. But over time, I don't regret things I did years ago, because I don't even remember doing them. I don't remember any of the things I said to ex-boyfriends or anything. A lot of cringe-unus and embarrassment is short term. I think that's very important to remember. Just write it out.

Just write it out, embrace it, and just say, I'm not doing that again, draw a line under it, and just keep going. Yeah, absolutely. That went on. Sorry. I thought I knew what I was talking about, and then I just had a 10-second silence while I was trying to buffer. and just keep going. You know? Yeah, absolutely. That went on. Sorry. I thought I knew what I was talking about, and then I just had like a 10-second silence while I was trying to buffer my brain.

That's why I call it. That's why we can edit podcasts. I think it's time for the news. It is. It is. Oh, I do. Do you have any AFC Wimbledon news for us? Oh, I do.

Basically, AFC Wimbledon is a football club, and it's my favorite football club. It's one that I have personally followed for all of my life. I've definitely heard of it before. John did something with them. Although I would like to say, and I think this is very obvious to anyone who lives in the UK and listens to this, no one has heard of AFC Wimbledon, a party in John Green, no one on this planet. I live in this country and I've never heard of them. In the UK, football pretty much, if everyone in the UK who likes football

supports a club in the Premier League, which is like the big league, you know, I don't know what you guys would call it, but like the big players, you know, you got the big league. You know what, you got like the Miami Dolphins, I think, right? Is that a thing? Chicago Wars?

I honestly don't know. I don't know. But that kind of thing, right? So like everyone who supports, who likes football, will support the club that is closest to them, even if it's not close to them at all. Like I'm from like I said, a place called Essex and the closest geological club to us, you're out there, do it.

The closest geological club to us is a club called West Ham, West Ham United. And there's nowhere near me. It's miles out, but it's the closest club that's in the Premier League. So most people in Essex will support West Ham. You know, very little people support small clubs. So I think it's great that John's doing that, a genuine thing I really do, but no one's heard of them. So that's the thing. If you're in anything below, like, League One, which is, I think, I think AFC Women's in League Two or something, but no one watches and no one cares. And I'm not so bad for saying that. I worry that John is the only person

who turns up to matches, but I will tell you the news about them, which I went down to AFC Wemble Do Myself and I got this news directly from the source. I clicked the link that you emailed me. So basically, from what I can gather from this week's exciting AFC Wemble Do News, which hopefully John will be able to clarify in the next podcast, from what I can gather, ABC Women and put in a request for planning mission to build a new stadium. Quite a while ago, like a few months ago, I think, like November last year, and they have been recently making a couple of changes to the original plans that they submitted. So, I guess they would have said, this is the stadium we're going to build. Oh wait, no, we're going to do this to it. And I think by the looks of it, there were a few people around the local area who lived

near the stadium who were kind of like, well, we don't want you to do this. So I think they've made some revisions and it's causing some sort of controversy. But I heard that John himself is going to fly out and make some videos with the people who are upset about this development and basically convince them that it's a good thing. That's what I heard. John, I'm sure you'll be able to do that. But basically a statement on AFC Women's Official website revealed that the London borough of Merton will shortly be conducting a further consultation and adding this additional information to the Council website.

I love this so much. It's so exactly as weird and esoteric as normal AFC Wimbledon news. This is actually news. Is this a thing that John cares about? As far as I can, I looked, I tried to find some AFC Wimbledon news and this is all I could find that seemed like, like, actual as close to news as I can, I looked, I tried to find some AFC Wimbledon news, and this is all I could find that seemed like, like, actual, as close to news as I could get. Although I would say, very important point on this development of this stadium for a club that no one has heard of, the changes that have been made for the planning mission, primarily

relate to the basement, ground, and podium level of the residential blocks, which I assume means that people live in the stadium. Which I would not recommend because football players practice all hours of the day and you don't want to be kicked in the head at five o'clock and more than with the football. The North South Street and the East-Stand elevation of the stadium. So I can also imagine that they just want it to be really, really tall on one side. So it's more like a slope. I mean, they're going to probably have problems with the football rolling down it. But hopefully, I think what they're probably planning on doing is putting the away team's goal on the bottom of the slope. I can imagine that's a good move, because then the ball is going to

build up a minimum and just roll in. Which is clever. I genuinely hope that the Don's, which is their colloquial name, are given this permission. As a lifelong fan of the Don's, I can only hope that this is the start of something fantastic for the dons. In Mars News, for the first time, Opal has been found in a Martian media, right? The media right in question was blasted off the surface of Mars millions of years ago

and finally fell in Egypt in 1911. The tiny slice of the media right provided to scientists for analysis was found to contain fire-opal, OPPO, fire-opal, a mineral that tends to form here on Earth around hot springs. Hot springs, of course, are perfect places for life to form, and OPPO could, in fact, potentially trap microbes for future examination and inspection by us, which is pretty cool. That's the Mars news. And that gemstone, OPPO, is likely created by the interaction of water with silica. That's... I do good Mars really quickly.

Good job, yeah. That's a planet near us. Which is kind of hot and dry. It's basically a planet of Utah. It's not, it's colder. But it looks hot, it's red. Yeah, that's not... But it hasn't got any water on it. So it

has. But if it hasn't got any water, it must have gone somewhere. Because they said that there was once proof of like that they used to be water. There's ice on Mars. Yeah, there's ice underneath the surface of Mars. I said the poles yeah, which kind of which kind of makes you think, okay, well, the waters evaporated because it's hot. So it froze it's frozen, it's frozen on the frozen on the planet. It's still there. It's frozen.

But the laws is sand. It looks like Utah. Yeah, it's below the surface. Because on the surface, do you want to know? Do you want to know the answer to your question? I say, because I want it. This saves you, Dennis. I show it on it. So Mars does not have a magnetic field the way that Earth does. So Earth has a molten core, or a molten mantle in a solid core,

and the core spins around, and it creates a magnetic field which deflects a lot of high energy solar particles so that we are safer. So like we have a barrier, it's just like, no, go away evil particles. And I'm guessing that we also have a much higher gravity. We're like three times more gravity here on Earth than they have they than Mars has.

I don't know who they are. So those two factors combined, the fact that Mars does not have a magnetic field because it does not have a liquid mantle. And the fact that... The mantle does it have. It's solid, just solid all the way through. Mars is, I think, we're not sure about this.

We know that Mars doesn't have a magnetic field, but we're not sure whether or not there is still some molten bits of Mars, because the most recent eruptions of the volcanoes of Mars, we're not that long ago. No, no, no, no, no, no, see, no, this is where you're totally wrong. If it's a solid core, how do they have liquid magma? Huh? I could answer that. I should go work at NASA. There's got to be liquid stuff in there. If you've got a volcano, we've stuff spouting out of it. Well, the volcano hasn't been active in a few million years, but I'm not sure how long it was.

Why don't we drill in into it? Okay, if we can slingshot fillet onto a comet, why can't we drill into Mars? Well, maybe someday we will be able to. Why can't we now? Hank? It's... Why haven't you done this, Hank? I haven't finished explaining to you

why there's no water on the surface of Mars. I find, find, explain. So those two things combined when because there is no magnetic field and because the gravity isn't as significant solar wind can actually like blows the atmosphere regularly, like knocks the atmosphere off the planet into interstellar space. So there's a very thin atmosphere on Mars. It's very low pressure. So any water on the surface of Mars would,

even if we're ice, in a lot of cases, would immediately sublimate. So go straight from the liquid form to the gas form, and then be in the atmosphere, and then get knocked off by the solar wind. So all of the first layers of marsh, marsh and dust is dry, but we found that below the first few layers where the atmosphere isn't interacting with it as much, there actually is quite a lot of ice.

But right now it's like a sauna. It's very cold sauna with absolutely no water vapor because it's all been knocked into space. Take a walkable and just enjoy yourself, get a tan. I think it sounds great. I might go, if you're too scared to go, Hank, because it's, you're too scared. I would go, I've got a Mars, whatever. Alright.

I mean, I hope that you do. It's probably kind of bad. The internet would be a problem on Mars. You'd have to bring it with you. Okay, that's a problem. I don't know how to set up servers. be a problem on Mars. You'd have to bring it with you. Okay. That's a problem I don't know how to set up servers another quick question about Mars. You say it has no magnetic field Could we resurrect life on Mars if we just made a spinning ring of magnets and spun it round real quick? The planet it would help

I don't think that life would just put lots of fridge magnets stuck them together I don't think that life would just took lots of fridge magnets stuck them together wrapped in around Mars like slightly bigger than Mars biggest a conference because then you can actually go round it like a satin ring Yeah, and we just spun it around somehow Like if we just like flew a comet into it because we can control comets now I just decided Would that help because I mean then it could not call that radiation and then maybe in a few million years Grass could go and then we could have nice sheep on all of it be nice That is I mean one of the big

concerns In the world of how do we travel to Mars is the radiation because it is not a safe place for humans to exist on the surface of so Possibly if we went to Mars we would certainly have to have radiation proof structures and and even maybe build we would certainly have to have radiation-proof structures and even maybe build the areas where we would live underground to protect us from that, which doesn't sound like very much fun with underground on Mars. Yeah.

Do you reckon it's more radioactive and Mars or Chernobyl when it first happened? You know, I don't. I see anything I know about this. Well, when it first happened, I mean, if you're talking about, like, right, in the basement of Chernobyl, where like the...

That's from the worst. The bad stuff is definitely worse right in the in the basement of Chernobyl where like the the bad stuff Us that's definitely worse, but you know around Chernobyl. I'm not sure if now Mars is more radioactive than than the surroundings of Chernobyl I the Chernobyl exclusion zone as they call it the area We can't go because it's still radioactive. Yeah, where that guy can't a thing ticks a lot See I know a lot I can physics Tick tick tick tick tick. The thing is, you said, you know, they're sending people to to to Mars, right?

On a mission. No. No, you said they were sending people to Mars. There is a thing, they're sending people to Mars. Ah, I don't know, like there's this, there's this, there's this basically a private organization that says they want to. Yeah, but they don't have enough money to do it.

They're flying to do it. Yes. But you just said that you pretty much try to a crisp. So why would they do that? That's too bad. Well, I mean, if you have. Why would people stupid?

Sorry. If you have radiation shielding, you could make it. I think the part of the deal with that mission is that it's a one way trip, and they expect the first people to go to Mars, to also be the first people to die on Mars, which is not how the government would do it. And also not how I would do it. And also not how I think we should do it. They should put a dog on their first, like the Russians do that spot Nick thing. Send a dog.

The dog. Yeah. If that one, I thought it was a spot Nick. I don't know. If they send a dog and the dog lives, then we go. Or possibly send them a multitude of dogs first. That's not, just, I, well, what I like is the idea of just puppies, just Mars puppies. Oh, no, different puppies. No, crispy puppies.

That's sad. Well, maybe we'll genetically engineer the puppies so that they'll live safely and happily on the surface of Mars And then we'll go there in and you know a 30 years time and it'll just be covered in small dogs It'll be great another real thing you said Mars is cold Correct Mars is definitely cold warm you up and crisps you so Yeah, radiation if you're not used in microwave it will So it's different I would your phone to your if five minutes is hot so sure that they can't see each other out

It's like having a really long phone call like this one Right this is a long car says me just asking you why Mars is and Why Mars does? Yeah, but yeah, we should we should we should do a new podcast It's called who Mars are yeah Yeah, I want to do it I like you just you just ask me questions about Mars and I get increasingly Exasperated oh oh, I had a question a genuine question that's not just really stupid. Do you remember I said it to you on Twitter? I said I don't if they exiled the club members of AC women to Mars who would be more mad you are John.

I know I wouldn't be mad at all really because the first people to colonize Mars would be a relevant sports team not leading scientists. I mean I mean John would be pretty mad if all of the football players for AFC women were exiled to Mars they would have had to do something real bad. But I just don't know who would be more mad. You know, I think John would really, really be very angry that AFC Wembleton lost their team. And I would just be sort of happy that anybody like any old person, as long as they're given the proper equipment, can can can can do some good science. Lesson in their, they a lesson in their football kids. Oh, it's just the football.

I would be upset. I actually write, I might be more upset. And I think that a lot of people would be very, very upset at just sort of the unnecessary expense of such an exile. Yeah, but I'm asking you who'd be more upset. You would judge. You know what I mean? Because you'd be upset for the sake of humanity, for kicking the face of science about it not being done properly.

The, you know, the lack of, you know, the loss of life and then, you know, not being able to, they're not scientists so they can't report their findings. They're just the first humans on Mars and just they have no reason. You'd be pretty mad. I think you'd be mad. Yeah, I'd be pretty mad. I'd be pretty mad. But John would lose his entire football team. So, so this is a tough question. I suppose John, I suppose John would be more mad. Because I mean how mad can you really get? Yeah, we'd have to have him here to answer that question. We'd have to compare our levels of anger. Yeah, I hope John addresses this. I hope so as well. Sweet. I think that's important. That's the news section. Plus, all of my questions about Mars. I could have probably googled it really, but you were here. And I watched SciShow and I like your voice, so I thought it would be easy just

to ask you. I didn't have to pay for my own SciShow episode. I just got you like here. I win. Oh, thank you, Emma, for for guest hosting this episode of Dear Hank John. And thank you all to the people who are listening. I hope that it was enjoyable. Yeah, it was good. And if you'd like to support SciShow, then you can go to patreon.com for us. SciShow and I'm just using that outro on everything you do. I'm sorry. I can't help it.

And if you want to keep getting a smarter with us, you can do that. SciShow! I love the one! I love that one. Oh, I love it real life. That's definitely clipped on the mic. But that was me genuinely freaking out that I heard you say that. I'm gonna ask you to do that, VidCon.

Are you a VidCon? Are you a VidCon? I'll be there. I'll be there. I'm gonna ask you to film it. That's so good. Sorry. Oh god.

Yeah, you might want to just do the outro for this, because I don't know the difference in an intro and outro, probably. All right. So happy now. Our theme music is by Gunnarola, the podcast is edited by Nicholas Jenkins, who's a big Emma Blackery fan I'll add. You say hi to Nick for us.

Hey Nick, how's it going? Sorry, I'm so happy. If you have any questions for us, you can send those questions to Hank and John at gmail.com, and as we say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.