Death To Everyone - Death To... Chips (Crisps), Kates & Cars

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

An accidentally alliterative episode, we discuss the flavours of chips that humanity shall have at the end of the world. In addition we ask which Kate should be in allowed to survive and which car will make it's way into our bunker. Death To Everyone!!! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

Oh You especially Especially you. Especially you. A new line of homewares by Blazer Susan and Zelda Moon. Especially you. We have an amazing new Christmas line coming out, including a cheese knife, a small board in the shape of a Christmas tree inside of a bunker, and a gorgeous ornament. We intend to have a new ornament every year from the Especially You.

Yeah. But it uses an old-timey hook to clasp onto the branch. None of this ribbon nonsense. No. Like an S-hook? An S-hook. I recently had to go and buy an S-hook. And let me tell you, Kmart don't sell an S hook.

Safeway doesn't sell S hook. Only place I could find S hook was Bunnings. Well. And then they had too many options. And you were like, I'm just paralyzed by decision. Yes. Sulang Yor. To you.

Sister. Yes. It is another day And another beautiful podcast A sleigh As it would be Oh Yeah Yeah

Are you serving cunt today? Oh Is your little pussy out? Uh Are you running around With your little puss puss out? Uh Are you serving pussy?

Yeah Is this what we're meant to do? I don't Did you like that? Drag queens Um No I'm not doing that Mm Okay Are you? Is this what we're meant to do? Did you like that? Drag queens. No, I'm not doing that. Are you?

No, I'm not. No. It would be quite inappropriate. It's actually against the law. It's literally illegal to walk around with your poos out. That's right. Take note, LaGanja. She's serving too much poos.

Poos. What do you think about that sex in that Senate room? Oh, I didn't see that. I saw a moment of that on someone's Twitter with a little gaping twink on top of a desk. Is this what we're talking about? Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't know about that. What is it?

I don't know. Okay. Just that happened. And then, I don't know about that. What is it? I don't know. Okay. Just that happened. And then, I don't know, people are mad at the gays. Like, that's what we do. Also, I'm just like, oh, yeah, that's the most scandalous thing that's happened in the Senate. Like, hmm. The Senate.

Okay. Welcome back. I am the Senate. Do you know what that's from? Is it Star Wars? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Welcome to Death to Everyone.

My name is Lazy Susan. And I'm Zelda Moon. And this is a podcast about the end of the world. Finally. You're really feeling the end of the world today. Zelda, you have a down-with-dogger attitude today. I'm down-with-dog. You were about to vomit in my car on the way here. I was. You're a downward dogger attitude today. I'm downward dog. You were about to vomit in my car on the way here.

I was. You had a pale as a sheet. And Zelda gets in the car and she goes, I hate cars. It's because I just spent so much time in a car. And I think like when you're a passenger in a car. Well, get your license. Which is all I've ever been. I don't know. You don't like control the speed at which you go over speed bumps oh and it's so fucking annoying

is it really hard for you when people are fucking chauffeuring your ass around that you can't control the speed at which you go over speed bumps my dear makes me feel sick oh i'm also like don't take the road with all the speed bumps uh use your mind not google maps i think we need zelda moon to get a license yeah and you know figure her life out yeah it is like the well it's probably more of that but like it's probably like the key part of my life that I don't have control over. Driving. Yeah. Travel.

Yeah, travel. That's very, that's good. That's life affirming. I hate that fact. That's why I like walking everywhere because that's on me. I control the speed. Yes. But, oh, God, I just can't.

I just can't. I'm so ugly. What? Cause. They are ugly. Anyway, how are you? Who invited Carol to the Star meeting? Yeah, I'm good.

I was just doing some photo shoot yesterday, an upcoming project, which is fabulous, and Zelda was helping out. And I spent all day in drag with the same makeup because I refused to change. This is as good as it gets. It was a good beat. It was fun.

Yeah, no, it was good. You can tell when I really like a special occasion because I'll put on a little bottom lash like a little and then maybe a diamante yeah and that's how you know i'm like oh this is a wedding makeup there was two diamantes yeah yeah just a little something it's good um but it does not it's like you know full sun 12 hours it doesn't age well makeup what are we doing about it what are we gonna do about it um setting spray can only do so much i didn't even use setting spray i used a bit of hairspray but see i've been betrayed by that before i feel like hairspray if you use too much you can crack like it'll create a layer and then it will crack off

um that happened on a makeup that i did on someone once and it was a disaster get over here let me spray chemicals in your face um yeah so that is good and i just feel like i'm on this like last little home stretch of like on Thursday, I am going away for a little bit for the holiday season. So it's like if I can get everything done before then, then I can actually properly just sit on the beach, like have a cocktail, watch a movie about melissa joan hart being a hoarder oh my god um but yeah that's the dream yeah you can do it i think i'll make it but it's like this photo shoot was like the big thing on the horizon that i was like fuck i need to get everything ready for that and you know you dread it because it was going to be eight photos i didn't dread it but it was going to be eight photos in eight different locations with

eight different outfits wigs everything and like i had a concept of what i wanted them to look like but not so much the clothing not so much the wig it's kind of always the bit that i leave till last and i don't know why but but i was also just like the whole day being like i can photoshop that but now that that's done i feel so like I'm on the, like, toboggan going down the hill and we're going to get there. Although now, unfortunately, you have to do all those Photoshopping bits. Which I love. I love the puttering.

And I can also just take, like, I don't mind taking a computer down to the beach and being like, not on the beach because I'm not like Sandra Bullock in the net. But have you seen The Net? I think so. Oh, it's so good. I went through a period of trying to watch all Sandra Bullock films The Net. But have you seen The Net? I think so. Oh, it's so good. I went through a period of trying to watch all Sandra Bullock films because I love her.

Well, you'd be right. Yeah. She's a perfect woman. I feel like I'm sagging. Is that bad? Do I sound bad? Well, it's not close to your mouth. No.

Well, you can fix that. Yeah, but I just, do I care? Just angle the mic up a bit Yeah, you need to be like yeah, that's fine range of the make well, I don't know no no I still gotcha It's your first time doing this Yeah, so yeah anyway, so it's all very exciting I didn't. Yeah. So, yeah. Anyway, so it's all very exciting anyway. Sorry.

I'm just going to go again. Anyway, it's all very exciting. Really excited for Christmas. Haven't done any of my shopping. Oh. But, you know, those things happen last minute. Right. Okay.

So, all of this mishigosh aside, we need to know now the apocalypse that is happening this year. This year? Well, today, this week. Yeah. We need to know the apocalypse that's happening this week. Yeah. Because we are celestial goddesses. Yeah.

And it's our job to sort the wheat from the chaff of what we want to take from culture, human culture and community, to preserve in a bunker for the survivors of this apocalypse. Yes. Now, Zelda, I believe it's your time. Yeah, to shine, shine, shine. Shine, shine, shine. So what is the apocalypse this week? Okay.

This week, oh, I haven't thought about it yet. This week, I think the world will meet its end by being enveloped in shadow. A shadow will be cast across the planet and then it shall simply cease to exist. A shadow, something is between, betwixt the sun and the earth. Yeah, probably me or you. We're walking in front, like in the cinema. Oh, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry. But then when you look back, the earth is just gone.

It's frozen. I don't know. It's just gone. Oh, it's enveloped in shadow. In shadow. So dark. Yeah. No one ever saw the earth again.

Correct. Might be there. Might not. Might not. But I do know there's a pinprick of light. Pinprick of light. Where there's a bunker. Yes.

A single ray of light. And that is where we will be preserving the following three. Are you excited for that? I am. That's why I'm good. Especially you. What light sources do we have in the bunker? What, the car and the bait bus?

We can get to that in a little bit. Light sources. At the moment, it's dark. It's pretty dark. I don't think there is anything. Yeah, maybe the bait bus is headlight. But it's got a limited battery. That's true.

The reject shop would have power, I guess. They do have batteries there. Yeah, true, true, true. Maybe little torches, maybe like hen's party like dicks that turn on. Yeah. You know, to light your reading at night. But yeah, at the moment, there's not much light. Yeah.

We'll see what we can do about that. Yeah, we'll see. Maybe glow worms. Maybe we'll put some glow worms in. Or fireflies. Okay. Shall we head into our first segment? Let's do it, Zellamoon

Okay, we'll be right back Adios, mi amor Hello and welcome back Hola Ooh la la la la la la la la. Okay, it's time. So what's the first thing we're deciding about? Okay, so the first topic up for discussion tonight, my dear sister, is of course chip flavors. I have waited many moons for this subject to come to me because, you know, I am quite the aficionado of the sliced potato.

It is close to my heart because it is, of course, the most delicious food. I would argue. Yeah. I mean, it does destroy the inside of your mouth by giving you like ulcers if you have too many salty. Oh, they cut you up. Yeah. But it is worth the pain. destroy the inside of your mouth by giving you like ulcers if you have too many salty oh they cut you up yeah but it is worth the pain because the chip i mean even like i mean like i know that this has become a bit of a cliche at this point for me to like point to an inanimate object and but but let me do it one more time because being in like a like most of the chip packaging yeah is not the product like with oreos that's like she's pushed up against the edge there

and they're like well if it if it cracks when it ships then that's just your life now yeah chips mama they're in like a sorry we need to make sure there's a force field of air around me at all times and then when i travel i'm in this giant kind of aluminium pillow and i'm inside yeah that's gaga arriving in the vessel it's very that it's like they have managed to disrupt the entire industry reinvent snacking and probably like just like they're the main culprit for destroying the lives of like every you know american australian everyone in the western world right chip manufacturers yeah because they're just so high in salt and fat and cholesterol and everything and they're so delicious and they're so fucking true once you pop you cannot

stop well they're not talking about pringles oh are we yeah pringles are chips are pringles chips pringles are chips what do you mean pringles are pringle oh i see it's like, is Grain Wave a chip? Yes. Oh, my God. I figured we meant all chip-like bagged goods. Is a Jats a chip? No, it's a cracker. Oh, it's a cracker. Yeah. What is a shape?

Oh, it's a... You answer me, you stupid little bitch. What's a shape, then? A shape is... Go on. What's a shape, then? A shape is... Go on. What's a shape? What's a shape? Tell me.

It's not a cracker. It's not a cracker, but it is a chip. Is it a chip? And what's a bit of a chisel? Is that a chisel? Chisel's a chip. Chisel's a chip. Yeah.

It's a puffed chip. It's a chip with like a... It's like inflated its life as well. Yeah, PMP chip. Okay, what about a cheese and bacon bowl what you know the sphere oh is that a chip uh yes you're like i brought some chips and then you hold up a bag of cheesels what are they does anyone think you're crazy when you say that? I don't really do that. You wouldn't say that, would you? No, I wouldn't. No, you'd be like, I brought a bag of chips. Oh, I don't know.

Because the wave, I would even say the grain wave. Yeah. I would never say, oh, no, that would be where I brought chips. Pringles, you always would specify the brand. The Pringles, yeah. Like, oh, bring some chips. And then you brought Pringles? I'd be surprised. I'd be relieved. You much prefer Pringles. I The Pringles, yeah. Like, oh, bring some chips. And then you brought Pringles? I'd be surprised.

I'd be relieved. You much prefer Pringles. I love Pringles. Well, for the sake of this conversation, let's put your passion points into this. Because we know Pringles are important to you. True. And of the Pringle flavors, I like spring onion. Yeah.

It is delicious. And they didn't call it sour cream and onion, which I think is an interesting choice. True. Because it is mostly a dairy. We talked about Pringles recently, didn't we? Matt talked about his obsession with Pringles, didn't you, Matt? I love Pringles. Yes.

That was your 7-Eleven choice. Ah, yes. If I, yeah, if I got a choice. When was the last time you had Pringles? Ah. Oh. Oh, a little treat for Matt. I've had one about, this is a confession. Yeah. I think I've had a pack, what is it, a tube of Pringles at least once a month this year,

maybe once a week this year. Wow. Wow. Not good. Not good for me. Do you drain the tube drain it yeah in one seating oh no sometimes i'm good and i leave just like a quarter left you know here on death to everyone we don't attach moral values to eating or anything there's no good behavior with food or bad behavior with food.

Okay. So it's fine. You are fine, Matt. You do whatever you want. That's really kind. No one cares. We're all going to die. That's right.

Okay. So chips, chips, chips, chips. I really, because I'm not much of a lollies girl. No, I don't. I'm not much of a sweetie treatie. And so I think a nice savory delicious moment okay what about cobs popcorn like those flavored popcorns yeah i don't like that but that's not a chip no it's not that's popcorn okay that's popcorn yeah you idiot okay good we're narrowing the

field yeah it's like chip is like obviously like chips. And then like. Wait, what was that? You know, like thins and. Oh, thins. Thins. It was CCs. That's it. Yeah.

Corn chips. Doritos. That's the title. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

So what are you starting with? Well, I want Pringles spring onion. That's your go? Yeah. Well, honey, you've got to sell it. Where's the theater? Where's the drama to her? Well, I mean,ingle's spring onion. That's your go? Yeah. Well, honey, you've got to sell it. Where's the drama to her? Well, I mean, it speaks for itself. But it has some other options.

The Red Rock Jelly chili chip. Delicious. But it is, that'll get you. Like, it'll cut you up. Oh, it's too much. Too salty. Too cutty. It hurts your mouth.

We know about Jell-O's soft mouth issues. But it does. But also, salt and vinegar of anything. Ugh. Oh, so you're wrong then. I don't like that. See, this is the thing. The issue with lollies is how saccharine sweet they are

and how much they just want to appease you. And I just think that's such a disgusting behavior in a snack. It's so cloying. It's like, I want to be in a fight with you, but then I win. So salt and vinegar chips, the fight begins and it comes on strong and it's slapping you about with it's like sour salty flavor yeah and then you continue to chew and then guess who comes out on top this bitch oh you yeah you did oh good well not every time oh yeah but, you know, I don't like the Red Rock Deli salt and vinegar.

I just like the- Balsamic vinegar, honey? Get real. Vinegar? I don't like vinegar. I think vinegar's important. I need the acidity. But any chili flavor, spicy chip, love that.

The grain waves, Waves generally. Baby. They're so good. You know how we were talking about how when Ariana Grande put out Santa Tomy. Yeah. How that was like the newest hit. Yes.

Of Christmas candles. Yeah. Grain Waves is that. But for chips. Yeah. It's like, you know, all I want for Christmas is you is kind of the Red Rock Deli. Uh-huh.

Like OG. Yeah. And then Grain Waves came along like, can know, all I want for Christmas is you is kind of the Red Rock Deli. Like, oh, gee. Yeah. And then Grainwaves came along and were like, can we reinvent the chip? And they did. And they did. And you know who tried? Was those, like, disgusting sugar snap peas that have been, like, dehydrated and fried. I don't know if y'all have this overseas but they're called like

harvest something of the harvest and they're like oily porous like sugar snap pea looking motherfuckers and they just they i thought for a second like is this the one is this you know candy cane lane see ya and then no i the thing that freaks me out about those is that like i've eaten many snow peas and i know that you have to pull the little string out of the stem because that's going to get like caught in your throat or like just be and and when you've got those puff things i'm like well what but do you think it's actually the snow pea that's been puffed or Or is it just a snow pea shape? Yes, just like a mold of a snow pea.

So artificial. That's like eating a mandarin without holding it up to the sun first. Wait, you do that? We talked about this. Do we, dear? Yeah, holding a mandarin wedge up to the sun to see if it's got pips inside. But what are we going to do in the bunker? Well, we're limited on light sources. Hold it up to the headlights of the bait bus we'll get to which

citrus gets in the bunker one day yeah i do have things to say about citrus that's good um yeah and then every year okay so red rock jelly right flavors it's hit and miss because i used to be really into the lime and then it was like, I'm not sure about this. But I think the base issue is that Red Rock Deli is like just a Thins chip, like putting on airs. She's not particularly thicker. She's not fancy. So, like, to me, if I'm going for that style of chip, that thin cut,

then it might as well just be thins. Original or salt and vinegar. Like all the thins range is fine. Like if I was at a party and there was one of those wooden bowls, those patchwork wooden bowls, and they had like a whole thing of mixed chips. No matter what's in there, I'm going to have a good time. Like not a great time but it's gonna be fun well they're not pringles so yeah we'll see pringles you can't even put out at a

party because i just go like that how do you serve pringles at a party well yeah it's more of a solo chip i think that that's the thing i think the Pringles might be the food of the ultra depressed. Oh. Matt? Just a gunshot sound? No, it's a party. How would you display Pringles at a party? You could actually lay them out quite, like, fancy, you know,

because they're just, like, all stacked together still. So you're saying you take the full tower out and then you kind of slump it to the side so they're all still kind of fucking each other yeah like spooning spooning up and then you can kind of curve them around the plate yeah but see that's like that's not chip behavior chip is like the the the snack of the proletariat like chip is for the people yeah i would argue that that chips should be probably very like not very processed it can't well i mean like they have to be by the nature of them but like they can't i don't think when you get them you can do too much they shouldn't be adulterated there's a reason a chip can't hold a dip And it's because they don't want to It's enough Yeah

You're enough You're enough See like potato chips are like just slices of potato Yeah but like they're massively like you know Oh still Yeah yeah of course But like you know grain waves and Pringles and stuff They're very like

They're just like a slurry Yeah Of grain or potato And then they're just like a slurry. Yeah. Of grain or potato. And then they mold it into a shape, you know? Yeah. I guess that's what they do with corn chips though. And corn chips are. They're delicious.

Good. I wish I had a pack of chips right now. You know, like in some cuisines, you'll order your meal and we'll have like a small green salad and then like a little collection of chips on the side like crisps yeah yeah have you seen that yeah i've seen it in america when you go to like a diner you'll get like a sandwich and it'll come with like a side of chips and then um like a dill pickle that is crazy what a nice treat. On a plastic plate? That's a fun time.

Yeah, but it's just, that feels like out of context. It's like ordering pasta and having like. Chips show up? I'd love that. They haven't really done pasta themed chips, have they? Sometimes Pringles pretends like it can do flavored things. I hate when they do like pizza yeah it's like although to be fair on shapes just quickly we're not talking about shapes shapes

are like a a cracker is it a cracker it's a cracker okay um it's a savory thick small shape and australians love to talk about how the best shape is barbecue which to me is just wild because that flavor is disgusting like nothing makes me feel more ill than seeing that green box come out of someone's i'm like this is just like look at it look at the color it's green why are you eating that well i had, I was going to bring up, when did chicken become green? Yeah. What's with that? The international symbol for chicken.

But why? It's like how maths is always blue and science is green. Hmm. Yeah. And sport is blood red. Sport is me cray. Okay, so all of this to say there are some like actual answers here yeah so kettle chips is for like if i'm going to a big massive supermarket chain that

doesn't stock everything then kettle chips the chili flavor is the queen bitch that is so good it's simple it's not like with manuka honey and like the tears of an eucalyptus tree yeah it's rock salt yeah himalayan rock salt no it's exactly when they add the caveats of like just say salt yeah anyway like i can tell like blind taste the difference of Himalayan salt. I can taste it being pink. But there's two other things. There's one that's recently come into my life. Now tell me out there if you've seen this. But it's called proper crisps. It is.

And then it's called big cut. Right? It is And then it's called Big Cut Right? And they are like thick Really like chewing on like pieces of like really hardened Like plaster or tile And the flavors

Okay, they have a dill pickle flavor Which you'd think would be my George But no It's not the good one Okay It's the salt or the paprika, the smoked paprika. However, I think as a brand, their chip is incredible, but they haven't got like a flavor scientist on board

who can really take them into the next, the mainstream. But like watch proper crisps because they are coming up, honey. So one day if they get a good flavor person on board they are gonna flavor scientist we call them yeah that would be a good like a flavor description a forecaster do you know what's really fucked i remember once as a kid a bunch of kids in my class i was in grade five were like invited to do tasting for nesquik oh right nesquik god Right? Nesquik. God, that's such a bizarre product. Anyway, go on.

It's like we have Milo. It's fine. Yeah. But it is delicious. It's just weird. I think I, yeah. Anyway, Nesquik, the powder you put in milk. And they have banana as well.

They do. They have banana, strawberry, chocolate. Yeah. Anyway, so I didn't get to do it i don't know why they didn't pick me but blake langdon in my class did it oh i picked blake and i was like blake what happened tell me everything and they're like well first we had the drinks we tried a bunch of new flavors and things and then he's like and then they asked us what flavors we'd like in a new thing of Nesquik.

And in my mind, I was like, what would they want? What would they want? What would I have said? What would I want? Anyway, so a month goes by. I wake up in a cold start. I'm in grade five. And I'm like, honeycomb.

Honeycomb. And in my mind, I'm like, they don't have honeycomb. Remember, I'm in grade five't have honeycomb Remember like I'm grade five Yes I did get that Two years later what do they come out with Honeycomb honey Are they reading your mind Do you think they planted something

I called it honeycomb I'm a genius And what did you think about that when you were in grade seven Yeah I think I was very like Well about blood to death. Or like, you know, like I was just like, oh, my God, I could have done this. Wow. Honeycomb.

That was me. Was it? Well, no, but if Blake hadn't suggested, I don't know, whatever the fuck he would have said. Rocket ship. Yeah, well, if you tried to suggest back then the things that are getting made now if he'd been like finger limes and they would have laughed him right out of that yeah oh i wish anyway but um the one last thing yes, so obviously proper crisp. If you get a chance, the salt one, very good. Proper.

Proper crisp. I know, the name needs work as well. That's the issue. It feels like. It's bad. I would have never tried it. I was at this party and it was just there. And I picked it up, ate it, and I was like, wait.

Honey. Is this a taste sensation? Oh, my God. Was it decanted from the packet? No. And you know what? Some motherfucker had like ripped, like slit the front of the face of the chip packet and opened it. Crazy tool.

I'm like, just, it's got a mouth. Yeah. Just reach through the mouth of the bag. Don't defile her. What if we need to wrap, wrap, wrap and put a little peg on her later so people can. What do you think about, what do you think about what do you think about you know those like sealers for bags it's like a long thing that kind of clips i hate those i just i'm like like who's that organized it's a peg not good enough for you well exactly you're not rap rap rap and peg

like that's fine that's good that's not fussy and also pigs they're everywhere and you can like i can hang out my clothes or I can close my chip packet. Exactly. You buy a set and then when you run out, you can just move them from point A to point B. Correct. Whereas those things, they're like, I don't, I don't know. But that's like the, like, you know, they've added all those little steps to domesticity. Like, like Tupperware is just a nightmare.

No one has figured out Tupperware. Why aren't we talking about this? What do you mean? Like the ceiling. Where do the lids go? Inside on the diagonal. Why the fuck? Where do all the lids?

Like why can't I store the Tupperware with its lid on efficiently? On? No, you can't store it with it on. No, exactly. So you need to separate them. And then how do you get them back together like so many it's just like they just i don't know that that is the question that people find perplexing about tupperware honey if you're listening at home you know what i'm talking about

it's like you lose so many tupperware pieces just through like the cleaning process going back into the drawer suddenly you've got like lids that go to nothing and bottoms that go to nothing we call them tops and bottoms in our community but okay so what about oh okay no you go what about choritos do you like doritos i love them but they make me feel sick. Sick? Yeah. Like I can't have too many. Well, maybe you make them feel sick. What about that? What about nacho?

I love, I love, listen. What about Flamin' Hot? I love it all. I love it. But every time I would go to a party as a kid, like in my 16th. A weak child, yeah. I would eat Doritos, right? This is a true story. Yeah.

Eat Doritos. And then because I was drinking a lot, I forget how many Doritos I'd had. Yeah. Wow. You're crazy. I'm crazy. And I would forget, like, to kind of, like, you know, it's like one of those cats that has like a damaged brain. So it forgets when it's full.

Yeah, when a drunk cat just keeps eating Doritos. And then I would be like, I need to vomit. I feel so ill. I couldn't sleep until I vomited. And that's how everyone in my school thought that I had bulimia for a while. But really you just overate Doritos while drunk. Yeah. Did you ever do at your, well, like, or as the concept,

we might have talked about this, at muck up day drinking colored milk and then when you throw up it's all different colors. You've told this story. Yeah, it's so gross. You're disgusting little school. Yeah, that was me. Yeah. But it would have been like bright orange Dorito color.

Yeah, well, that's, but like I I wasn't like I'd make myself vomit. You can't sleep. You know, it's like I wasn't like, oh, I'm getting to the point of vomiting. I was like, I need to go and vomit now and then stick my fingers down my throat. That is not the story you sold first. Well, listen, no. I come from a house where, you know, we were discussing a little bit. Like a poo house or a shit house, a poo house or a vom house.

A poo house or a shit house. You're only allowed to do one here. No, like you either come from a house where like shitting is the solution to everything or where vomiting is the solution to everything. What? Yeah. And so I come from a vom house where vomiting is the solution to everything like if you were sick my mom would be like oh go and vomit oh my god you just need to

vomit now oh i think my house was a don't talk about that like keep it all inside yeah and then there are people you speak to and they're like i come from a poo house they're like go and shit on the toilet for a while oh yeah see it doesn't A vom house is a bit more chic than a poo house Yes Thank you I don't You've said poo too many times now I'll bleep it every time

But anyway, so because I was from Do a poll as well Well, Matt, are you from a What hole? You should do a poll on social media Oh, I thought you said just do poll She's like, what? Matt, what do you

Which house are you from? It's just Dupal. She's like, what? Matt, which house are you from? I feel like a lot of my family would disappear to the toilet for a while to do a shit. But for me personally, I think definitely a VOM is the solution. You're starting a new VOM house. Yeah.

This would be the Australian version of like Sorting Hat. What about Piers? Piers? Yeah. Piers ain't going to make you feel better. Well, okay. It's nothing. Oh, Zelda's from the rare third house.

The Pish Pig House. Piss everything out. Piss out. Piss it out. Go home and piss it out, you silly little girl. Okay. You do. I I mean when you piss It's like getting rid of all the things

That you don't want right Well shit does that And it feels sick though You know when you haven't gone to the toilet For a long time And it's like dark That's so awful Okay well we need

Now lower the tone Zelda Moon Me Yeah Oh god I was just trying to tell a story About how people thought that I had bulimia because I kept my fingers down my throat at parties.

But, like, you know when it's like you can't go to bed because you feel so sick and you're like, I could just be like one vom away from feeling better. God, I've never felt like that. I've never felt better after a vomit. I also haven't vomited that many times. If I tell you, you would be horrified. haven't vomited that many times if i tell you you would be horrified just yeah how many times so many times 10 do you keep you got a record no i couldn't

even keep a record that's how many times because it's like that reaches that point certainly over 100 over a hundred times a thousand percent of course over a thousand times not over a thousand but like you know i just like to be like a hundred times more Not over a thousand. But like, you know, I just like to be like. A hundred times? Yeah, like it's like, yeah. A hundred times in 30 years? More. More for sure.

Wow. Do you think you've had sex with more people or vomited more times? It's close, but I do, they're correlated. Yeah. The only way I could feel better after this is... Peace it out. There's a real... Sorry, guys. This is a disgusting story.

How many times have you vomited during sex? You were gagging on a dick. How many times have you gagged on... I'm like really... I'm like... Because of that, because I come from a vom house, I'm a lady about these things. So I would always like swallow it back up and then keep the show going.

Wait, what? Oh, like you feel vomiting during like... Yeah. Yeah. But one time when I was in Broken Hill visiting for the Broken heel festival yeah i went on a hookup activating our rural communities yeah i went on a hookup and i was trying to meet up with this guy and he was like the other gay guy who'd come to town like well there's plenty of gay guys but he was the one that kept popping up a grinder and i was like it's my time and so at like one in the morning, he was like, I'm going back to my hotel room.

Want to come? And I was like, yeah, I'll wait up front. And then this like drunken mess stumbles up and I'm like, oh, God, this guy's had too much. And then I'm like, oh, wait, that's him. And we were both drunken messes, but he was like, and like kind of he was this like Irish guy. Like he was like, and like kind of, he was this like Irish guy. Like he was like giving football, like.

Footballer's wife? Soccer guy. Like he'd been in the soccer, but he'd been watching drag. God, I loved that show. Anyway, so we go up in that gorgeous old vintage mining hotel. Gorgeous dick. But we get into the room everything's like antique antique antique in this hotel um and like like gaudy and fabulous like old old carpets with like

floral prints and then everything had the kind of same matching floral prints but it was stunning um and so when i blah blah we're getting down to business. He's giving the BJ. Yeah. And then he like, and so I'm like sat on the bed. And then he's like, he vomits on the carpet. Like he's on his knees on the carpet. Vomits at the foot of the bed on the carpet between my legs. And we both look at each other and he's like, do you want me to stop?

And I'm like, listen, we've come this far. And the vomit was like cherry red, like zuppa duppa red. Like he'd been drinking his pre-mix all night. Oh, my God. And then we finished. And then I was like, well, maybe you should have a shower and I'm going to go. You didn't have any vomit on you? No.

Wow. He, like, pulled, like, kept, you know, like, everything contained. And then, like, went. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And you didn't have to deal with it afterwards. No.

You just. Slight little stomach acid tingle for his pleasure. And you didn't give him any head? I believe that I did, but I think he was kind of like I don't know, his thing was about pleasuring the other person. To gag on that hog dick. Yeah, I think he was ready to like

Something like that? I didn't realize you knew the lyrics to that Nicki Minaj song. Anyway, so that's that story. Now, which chip is getting into the bunker? I... Okay, no, wait, wait, wait. Okay, so...

Oh, my God. No, this is about a chip. Oh, okay. There is a chip. Yeah. And the reason that it can't go into the bunker is because there's no way for you to have verified this chip me yeah like for you for us to come to an agreement about this chip because you can only get it in america and you can only only in america sorry what can a woman like me Go on. Get a fucking genizo. Poppy, I want you to come home.

Put your Hungry Jack's drink down. What do you mean? You're getting loose and you're getting silly. Poppy. Poppy. Sorry. And so. I've woken up now.

It's good. I feel much better. You're finally out of the car. Okay. So. So this is Chip by a brand called Zaps. Zaps. You go on.

Zapper? Zaps. Zaps. Go on. Zapper? Zaps. And they sell them only in like the South, like around New Orleans, New Orleans. And they have a flavor that they did as like a special edition called Voodoo. Okay. In honor of New Orleans and its tradition of Voodoo. What about alligator snap?

Okay. Well, maybe you need to get on marketing for neshquik okay did you invent honeycomb like i did anyway zaps potato chip yeah voodoo flavor is and it was so successful this special edition flavor that they just kept it because people go crazy for it and i had it one day when I was there and I was like, this is the thickness, the delicious flavor. It had a dill pickle undertone that was actually working. Take note, proper crisp. But the, oh my God, this chip.

And I've looked for it so many times at like USA Foods and things like that. You actually just can't get this chip in Australia. It's impossible to get a packet of Zapp's potato chip. But when I tell you, it is like I was buying them day, like every single day, morning, noon, and night. Oh, my God. Needed to have this flavor. I tried every single flavor.

The artwork on the packaging is iconic it is like the best chip and you can't even get in all of america you can only get it around the south it is so good and they just don't sell it anywhere they don't export it anywhere it's incredible wow yeah what does it taste like so that one like dill pickley dill pickle like with like sour cream and onion vibes okay so it's like got a dairy tint like milk solids but then with like a high acidic notes in there as well but it's like the voodoo flavor was kind of supposedly according to some guy that i met in the street when i was talking about the chips a lot did he choke on your dick as well no but he said that it was supposedly a flavor that was mixed,

all the flavors. Oh. Which is what they used to say about the Full Monty chip that you could get from Smith's. Do you remember that? I don't. They had a flavor called the Full Monty. Smith's chips had a flavor called the Full Monty on the crinkle cut.

And it was a wonderful mixture of all their flavors. In honor of the release of the film, The Full Monty. Oh, God, I hate that. called the full money on the crinkle cut and it was one real mixture of all their flavors in honor of the release of the film the full monty oh god i hate it why oh because it's so like you wanted to see the dick well firstly but i like what about a naked man is like... I don't know. You tell me. But you know what I mean? I do. I mean like it's obviously titillating in that way that like the Calendar Girls was.

Oh, it also like... Sorry about that. It also like it sits in like the castle kind of era. You don't like the castle either? No, I don't like the castle you know i don't like the castle oh do you like muriel's wedding yes well they're similar no okay we need to leave that okay um or we can put that in i don't care what is that chip okay if i can procure zap's potato chip at any point we will come back on this pod and discuss.

Well, you know what? We can't get it in Australia, but we can get it in the bunker. Maybe. Maybe. But maybe just one. Maybe, maybe. Okay. Maybe just one.

She'd love them. Like, what do you think? Like, how are we distributing these chips in the bunker? Tim Tam eternity. Like, it's in one bag. Yeah. And it's constantly filled by a robotic arm or what? No, like magic.

Say what? Yeah, it just constantly refills, you whore. Like the magic pudding. I think. It's our fantasy bunker. It should be a vending machine. Oh, that constantly gets refilled by magic. That constantly gets refilled by Courtney, who works at the reject shop.

Where does she get the deliveries from? Well, when we were stocking the reject shop, it was only going to be one stock. And then it was going to fill up. Yeah, but that was part of what we discussed. Well, exactly. Now we're discussing theirs. And I say, Tim Tam magic packet keeps refilling. You might say that.

And what do you say? Something not fun? I'll bet. I say something hilarious, true, and real. Anyway. Maybe it's like airline, you know, when they give you little packs of peanuts on the plane. Well, they don't do it anymore because people will die. But little packs of chippies when you enter the plane. Well, they don't do it anymore because people will die. But little packs of chippies when you enter the bunker.

And I love, do you know what I love when they hand you food on the plane? They give you a little serviette tucked with the, like, hand. And they're like, here's your snack and here's a little serviette, you fucking pig. It's the assumption that you're going to be disgusting. Yeah. Yeah, i love that is what they say yeah so i think when people are entering the bunker screaming running from

their lives from the darkness outside yes there's like um a woman there who's like here's your chips here's your chips so it's just one on entrance One on entrance Yeah I like that Okay Yeah good One on entry Okay Well with that settled You got that wry smile you demon Sent to ruin my life Oh Voodoo chips

Voodoo Zaps Voodoo flavoured chips Voodoo chips Look them up If you live in Nile Nile Go and help yourself

And send some to us Just a stupid little bit And we'll be right back Bye bye Welcome back everyone Hello hello hello I love that How are you?

Well we What? What? Okay our second topic for discussion tonight is... How are you? Kate. Kate with a C, Kate with a K, Caitlin's... Kate with an 8.

What? What? Which Kate gets in the bunker? What? Which Kate? Gets in the bunker Kate Kate Kate Winslet Kate Blanchett Kate Beckinsale

Kate E. Holmes The Katie's out there Katie's Katie Seagal Katie Perry Oh no, that's Katie That's Catherine No, just Kate

Kate Kate I had a friend called Kate What was she like? Was she in? Very cool She's not going to go in Okay

What would you say is What is your biggest memory of this Kate? What is when you think of Kate? You think of When I think of Kate What do I think of? She was the of Kate, what do I think of? She was the one who made me my first bowl of Mie Gerang. I remember that.

Oh, that's a. That was so chic. And I was like, you a witch? This is delicious. Did she prepare it just like cook the noodles, drain the thing, and then just put the bits on top? Yeah. Just stir it up in a big

stainless steel bowl we put three packets oh that's good she made a feast for us that night and we ate well and your life is never the same afterwards that's pretty luxe i was like wow yeah and she was from the city and i was like city kate yeah city, City Kate. City Kate. What a cool Kate. That's good. Maybe she should get in. Well, she's cool. Okay. What about, I feel like you know many Kates. You'll know more Kates than me.

Well, okay. Let's start with a basic Google. We'll just type in the word Kate and and see what comes up i'm typing with a k kate middleton that's the the the married one to prince yeah boo boring yeah she's not a vibe i think you can have katie perry because katherine is kate yeah but no we'll put her in on another occasion well you you do say that but this might be the time. Okay. Kate.

Can I just say right now? Yeah. That I want Kate Blanchett in that crochet dress. The Romance Was Born dress. Yes. That's what I want. Yeah. I mean, like, I think Kate Blanchett's a great choice, but I, like, I'm like, what are we doing with Kate in the bunker?

Well, she'll bring a jawline. I'm like, anyone need a doing with Kate in the bunker? Well, she'll bring a jawline. We're like, anyone need a cut glass? Kate's here. She could hand out chips. Kate could be the chip woman. I think Kate could be quite a nice curator of the induction. It's like a 10-minute induction. It's a little tour.

Hello and welcome to the end of the world this is kate planchette i'm so excited to be that's right now um if you look to your left you'll see the volcano room we have a little moment this one if you have any uh messages to send we do have the mnemonic tubes to your right. They do have bees inside of them, but we do what we can. Yeah. You'll see straight ahead the oceanarium. It looks like today the Meg is being fed. Lassie.

Lassie. Air Bud is coming. On the menu for next week is the cat from. My Little Pounder. Yeah. Okay. That would be quite good. Paper and Shed. Milo and Andy Yeah I'm Okay Cate Blanchett Cate Blanchett

That We're saying then Katy Perry What? Is not getting in How else are you gonna get If it's not on the Kate day Well because you got to have

Does Lady Gaga get in day Oh you wanna have that Yeah I just wanna have like Katy Perry day Does Katy Perry I nearly said today That we should do Madonna day, but I don't really want to do that. I don't want to talk about Madonna right now.

It's stressing me out. I just am like, where are we as a culture with Madonna? It's too much. And like the tour is so pathetic. It's just like you can't, don't do anything close to Beyonce. Don't do that because she'll be better than you. I just think if she needs to like, and this is, I don't know. I don't know what she needs to Beyonce. Don't do that because she'll be better than you. I just think she needs to like, and this is, I don't know. I don't know what she needs to do.

Obviously she knows how to be a pop star better than I do. But only by. Arguably, yeah. However, I kind of would love just get in the room with Max Martin, a few other really iconic like pop music writers, and just put out like a straight pop album like she hasn't really hit it for me in many albums what because you like mnda no you don't like there's a few songs on there oh you madonna you don't think that's a few songs on there. Why, oh, you, Madonna. You don't think that's a good vibe? It's my birthday song.

That is the most, have you heard that song? No. It's like she has a birthday song on there called Birthday Song featuring M.I.A. And it is so bad. It's crazy. But no, I think Confessions was her last good one. I mean, I kind of think the revolutionary act for Madonna at this stage, and she almost got there with Madame X,

as far as the styling goes, is to embrace, like, not get rid of sexuality. I think that needs to be maintained. But an older sexuality. And I need her to, like like embrace women her age. Because like Madonna is always like, I think that, you know, it's fucked how like ageist our society is. And then proceeds to populate her entire pop world with people in their 20s.

Yes. And I'm like, well, are you the only person that's allowed to be 60? Yeah. Because Kylie does a great job of that with some of her backup dancers are older. Yeah. That's fab. And it's like, well, if you want to, like, if you were a leader in the industry who's fighting against ageism, then why don't you lead the charge fighting against ageism and cast a whole. Because, like, she has some fab older female friends that would be so chic.

And, like, her and Debbie Mazer, like, you know, that would be so chic. Her and Debbie Mazur, that would be so hot. Yeah. Just like I wish that she did old and show us like took all the tropes of like quote unquote old. Yes. And made it chic and fabulous because there are so many women that do that and I would love to see her do that. You know that, I can't remember her name.

There's that particular model who is like, is she in her 70s? 60s, 70s? I don't know. She does a lot of runway still. And she's just like, it's also not really a gimmick. Yeah. It's just like, no, this is just, I just happen to be this. Yeah.

But it's not like, fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. Well,'s not like, fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's it. I mean, so many old women are sample sizes because they're just wasting away. Why are we embracing that? Well, totally. Yeah.

God. But anyway, how are we going to get on with Madonna? Oh, Catherine's. Yeah. So, no. We're not talking about Katy Perry today as much as I would love to. No, I'm just going to reserve that one. Who would have been in Katy Perry today as much as I would love to. No, I'm just going to reserve that one.

Who would have been in Katy Perry? In my high school, there was a guy. I had another friend named Kate, who was also stunning and gorgeous and fabulous. Really good singer. There was a guy in our class who was obsessed with her. What was his name? I can't remember. But for the sake of the story story that's probably a good thing because he was so in love with her that he with a knife carved kate k8 into his upper thigh k8 k8 kate and then hate and he was like an emo boy but like this credit to this emo boy when she rejected him you know what he did slice off that

little wedge of skin he added an s at the front and a t at the end making it skate oh no he didn't even have the te skate all right i see that still works that's ingenious thank god that was her name um yeah wow skate skate i'm sorry it said skate i wasn't done with it yet Wild, that was her name. Yeah, wow. Skate. I'm sorry, I said skate. I wasn't done with it yet. Because he showed her and was like, I love you, Kate. This is for you, Kate, and his festering infected leg.

Boys are so weird. Wow. Was the, see, I don't have any tattoos. But do you have it facing your eyes Or like facing the ground Like the Kate Yeah I think it was like running down Like sideways

Okay Yeah You do have to make a decision I understand that Kate Kate Okay Skate

Which skater goes in the bunker Kate Kate Kate. Kate. Okay. Skate. Which skater goes in the bunker? Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate. Kate. I'm sorry, refresh me again while we're not putting Katy Perry in. You love Katy Perry. Well, maybe we should. I think I just am like, I'm so confused. I mean, obviously.

I don't think that we've talked about Katy Perry before. Yeah. But I think, well, I'm more nervous about Kate Blanchett not getting a shot now. Oh, yeah, this is over for her. Oh, no. You can't have everything. Oh, well. Okay, let me just look up famous Kates.

I need to, I'm sorry. Let me just, I need to. Deepen the, widen the, you know. Famous. Because maybe Kate Blanchett could get in on a day where we talk about like Australian actors. Is she true Australian or is she like one of the ones who have claimed from New Zealand? No, she's real. Okay.

She's real. Kate Moss. Ah, whatever. You don't like Kate Moss? Oh, no. I said whatever. You don't like Diet Coke and cocaine and abusing your driver? I said whatever.

Kate Hudson. Goldie Hawn's daughter. You don't like Almost Famous? No, I do like that. Yeah. Kate McKinnon. Kate McKinnon. From SNL.

She played fucked up Barbie in Barbie, the movie. Oh, yeah. Weird Barbie. That's such a bad name for that doll. Why don't we call it Ruined Barbie? Some fucking child ruined it. Well, why don't we just write these down and get you to give the advice back to Greta Gerwig right now. Greta, she's our guest next week.

Yeah. Okay, that looks like it's the main Kates. There are not many Kates. No, there are a lot of Kates. I just have never seen any of these women before in my life. Like, who's Kate Bacon? Oh, she's from TikTok. She's 25.

Oh, there's too many TikTok stars on famousbirthdays.com. Oh, how about this one? Kate Milahake. Kate Milahake. She was our entrance for Eurovision, for those of you listening overseas. In recent, yeah. Kate Miller Heike. Yeah, like a weird pop opera singer. Why were those sticks popularized by Kate Miller Heike and...

Dandrogeny. Dandrogeny. And Frank, not Frank Miller. Frank Sinatra. No, the other Miller who did Mad Max. George Miller. Oh, because he had them on those cars. The cars.

Why are Australians obsessed with those sticks? Well. Why are Australians obsessed with those tall sticks that you stand on and use them to blow up Charlize Theron's car? Where's Charlize from? She's South African. Oh, South African. She can speak Afrikaans.

Oh, Afrikaans. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. How lucky. What was I going to say about? Kate Miller Heike? No, I was going to complain about.

I mean, talk about. Apparently Mad Max, the new one or whatever. Yeah, Fury. Is full of CGI and people are outraged about that. I know. But I would have thought that other new one was full of CGI, wasn't it? The first one. Well.

Like Fury Road. Yeah. Well, the thing about that is that all of the driving stunt effects were practical. Fun. the thing about that is that all of the driving stunt effects were practical fun. And then all the rest were, were like, like they just, they basically fluffed up the effects,

but it was like, every time we saw a car roll, that was really a car rolling. And then they were like, keep rolling, rolling. Sorry. But then the sky behind it was like on fire. You know what I mean?

Like there was just like, yeah. But also, so that it was like on fire. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, so Fury Road was a sequel to OG. Yeah. And then this is a prequel to the sequel. Prequel to a different character. Yeah.

Not Mad Max. No. Why do we need to know more about her? I don't know. It's not even her. Well, it's got old bug eyes in it. Yeah, it's got bug eyes. I want Charlize. I do want Charlize.

Because I'm like, bug eye doesn't have the essence of Charlize. Who cares? Yeah, I don't like her. I have no interest in seeing that movie. No, I'm excited to see the film. I kind of think. I said I have no interest. I want to see the movie.

Good day, sir. I said good day. I said good day. No, I'm excited about the film hasn't already come out no but we haven't already seen it did you I just think that he had an idea for this film. Furiosa. Yeah. Did you not like Fury Road?

No. You didn't like Fury Road? No. It's too like, it's too like, no, it's no. If I'm watching a movie in a desert, I just want it to be tank girl. Where is iced tea dressed as a kangaroo? Where's that? So as soon as it gets hot You're out

Yeah I just I'm like I just I kind of want to just like Throw you out of a window Because it's just Me?

It's obscene to me That you spend all of this time Oh Like being like I just want to go and see these like Marvel films and these Star Wars films with the hope, the prayer, and the wish that they combine like fun, lore-filled storytelling with interesting characters

and science fiction scenarios that have incredible action sequences that are both inventive, fun, and new and include, like, women being awesome and cool. And then one comes out that thankfully is amazing but also not connected to any of that. You see it and you're like, well, it's in the desert, so the rules dictate that it has to be Laurie Petty and Tank Girl. I don't make the rules, Danny. And then then you're like i need to make sure i see the marvels yeah well you never supported you know you hate women um you know that shalise

is in the mcu now she's clear yeah she's also in the uh uh fast and the furious oh and you love forest and furious yeah which i know i don't have a reason for why that's annoying, but it is. Well, I just don't get it. Do you, you don't like action films, I guess.

I don't know. Yeah. What do you like? You know what I like? What I really like is Kiki's Delivery Service. Cause that is a movie almost about nothing. Like so little happens in that movie. You're just like hanging out.

Yeah. All that happens is she has to leave home, set up a new life. Spoiler alert. That is it. Yeah. And it's so good. Well, Mad Max. I mean, Mad Max is kind of similar.

It's got like three main plot points. But also the other total. I love Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy. Oh, yeah. He's so hot three main plot points. But also the other total. I love Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy. Oh, yeah. He's so hot. He's bisexual. Yeah.

Mm. Shook and dick and ass. I wonder if he's ever vomited on someone's dick. Oh, you know he has. I hope so. Mm. Do you think he would want to be like head tilt back over the mattress getting throat fucked or would he want to like be going like bobbing for apples pocket little stars true go both yeah yeah that's good

yeah maybe i should watch that movie again and they hated each other on that set which i love who hated who tom hardy and charlize hated each other charlize, which I love. Who hated who? Tom Hardy and Charlize hated each other. Charlize is capable of hate. It's the only emotion she has. I love it. You know, there's a giant at my workplace, outside my workplace. There is a gigantic Chateau billboard. Oh, Chateau Dior.

And it's like, I don't know. She must have reshot that campaign. It's not the same images that have been around for a very long time. This is the very famous Dior campaign with Charlize. It was kind of a career-making moment. Yeah, so coming out of that liquid girl. But imagine, like, Charlize Theron, famous South African woman, is in a fucking billboard hanging from the sky in Maribyrnong.

Yeah. She would have no idea. She doesn't know and she doesn't care. She doesn't know. She hasn't seen it. She'll never see it. Ever. Yeah.

She will never go there. That billboard is probably like 10 meters tall. Yeah. She looks stunning. Yeah. She doesn't care. She doesn't care. She doesn't care. She wouldn't even be able to say how much she got paid for that particular execution.

She probably, yeah, she probably didn't. And she's never apologized for that awful Aeon Flux. Yes. I love her. God, I love her. Aeon Flux wasn't her fault. She was just trying to get a foot in the door. I know, but Aeon Flux is good, and that movie was so bad.

I don't even know what you think is good and what you think is bad. I can't tell you. Anyway. Oh, I wish. Maybe, you know how we were talking about mutant superhero powers? Maybe catching flies in your eyelashes is a good one. Listen, darling, the odds are higher for you. Because I have such beautiful lashes?

That and just the density of flies surrounding you at all times. One of us is going to transit one day. Which Kate do you want? I think it's got to be Katy Perry. Catherine. Okay. Well Well that's fine Okay I just feel sad

For Kate Blanchett What do you think About Katy Perry Katy Perry Performing at the Coronation Of the new king In England

Being the only Pop star That said yes Oh Isn't that so It's like So evil Like baseline evil Just to support this old force

of colonialism in a way that she doesn't and will never understand. Oh, absolutely. But it's so fabulous that she did that. It does make me think of Jennifer Lopez at Biden's one in that white outfit doing like a like slow version of let's get loud it is like there's like certain artists and pop stars that when they get their like heft behind a political cause it's like yes i believe that you genuinely do at least have have your head around the issue a little bit and then when katie perry shows up it's like well i

don't know what are we doing you just got elected king let's do it honey i love king how much is this again yeah i don't think it was for the money i just think it was for the press i think she just wanted to wear a gold dress and be like big in the uk she's so good and like adele said no ed sheeran said no like the english people said no well they know to say no yeah and katie's like well i'll do it like get this corpse in here i can't wait for that man to die yeah it'll happen oh it's gonna be good and then what the other one will but no one cares that's a good thing it's like i'm like. And then what? The other one will, ugh. But no one cares. That's the good thing. It's like, I'm like, this is the end. We're done now.

This family doesn't matter. You, like, I mean, like, just truly no one cares. Good. Because they've lost everything. Like, they just don't have their mascot anymore. They don't have, no one cares. Diana. Not Diana.

Lizzie. Oh, Lizzie. Yeah oh lizzie yeah kate is not stepping up okay anyway god it's sort of okay um well okay katie perry katie perry do you think she'll feel awkward when she goes to the bathroom and has to listen to um what's the vegas song we came in vegas on loop. Well, it won't just be listening. It'll be a visual experience because it's about the music video. Of course. No, Katy would love it.

She'd love it. She'd be like, I love this song. Wait, I wrote it. And then she'd chuckle to herself as she dried her hands. She's allowed one assistant. Oh. Wow, you're feeling generous. Well, I just think Katy Perry exists.

With an assistant. Well, like, you can't maintain the look of Katy Perry without someone to be, like, popping a wig on. Can we put with her someone who, like, has handed her tissues when she had to wipe away tears? That assistant. Single tears. Yeah.

What did you think when she did that full, like, 25-zillion-hour live feed? For Witness. Yeah. What did you think when she did that full like 25 zillion hour live feed? For Witness? Yeah. It was, I watched quite a bit of it. Of course you did. It was so wild. She did therapy?

It was, oh, and there were like different guests and it was like in a big brother house. It was crazy. That is like a stunt. And there was so much press for that album and it was just not really it. No, well, it flopped. And that was the beginning. And people are just like, well, Katy Perry's done now. Who's saying that?

What, TikTok? Who? Probably that. Give me their names. That Kate girl that I just saw on Famous Birthday. Yeah, but she, no, don't say that. I refuse to believe it. She's immortalized forever in the bunker.

Great work, Katy Perry, you're in. Okay, but what's she doing down there? Hang on now. Do you know what she should do? Join up, you say it at the same time, with Lady Gaga and Mel B. No, she's got to work at the Wendy's. And make a new girl group.

No. No. No, I don't think Catherine, Katie, I think she should work at the Wendy's. Well, that's Courtney's part-time job, don't it? No, I know. They do shifts and Courtney's her manager. Because I think Katy Perry could work at a Wendy's. Absolutely.

And she would do one of those stunt videos where it's like, I'm putting on the Wendy's uniform. And she'd be like. Ring-a-ding-dong. And she'd be pretending. Oh, what the hell is happening now? Ring-a-ding-dong. She'd put on that uniform. Ring ding ding she'd be side eyeing the

camera and we just set her up and make her think that she was doing publicity for an upcoming album but for eternity and she'd be able to put on the uniform again and again and again and be like oh i'm serving a customer and i'm katie perry and she had a little visor oh my god and she would love it yeah she'd like that music video she did with the birthdays and she dressed up as different birthday entertainers and no one seemed surprised yeah remember when those lyric videos were really a thing yeah i hated that i did not like that just do your music video that. That's it. Do it. Don't make me. Here's the thing. I hate, like, oh, my God, coming up in 10,000 years' time.

Get ready to pre-save my. I'm like, no. And what's worse is when it happens locally, when some bitch you, like, know is like, oh, I have a new song coming up. Big thing's coming. I i'm like you're not like beyonce where i'm actually like oh i wonder what she's doing yeah even then i find it infuriating like just drop it just put it out which is what beyonce did do with the self-titled album well that's right but but when people do it and you're like you're not famous enough to do

this like there's no anticipation. Put it out and we'll decide if it's good. And then you could decide if you're famous. Or let the people decide. Yeah. Okay. Katy Perry. Yeah.

That's great. Good. She made it. And you know what? I think, I don't know what kind of hairstyle she has. I mean, obviously she'll have a beehive wig with bangs. But who knows what's under that wig, what color, what cut. She does it all.

And that's just a surprise that we'll see sometimes when, you know, a cold breeze comes through and knocks the wig off. And Courtney says, put the book on. Katie, you're in. Congratulations. You work at the book on. Katie, you're in. Congratulations. You work at the Wendy's. Bye-bye. And welcome back, everyone.

Our final topic for discussion tonight. Now, I presume you're happy to talk about this. What? Cars. Vroom, vroom. Zoom, zoom. Toot, toot, beep, beep. This is stupid.

What are we doing? What car? I wanted to talk about this for one specific reason. Oh, well, yeah, one specific reason. Oh, okay, go on. I pick the Jeepep from jurassic park that is the cool like so there's two cool cars from jurassic park it's like the one that's like green and red and yellow but that's not a jeep that's like a that one but the jeep is like the

kind of beige and red and and it's really cool. It's the only car I've ever wanted. Although, when I was growing up, I really liked Kombi vans. I thought they were so cool. Because you wanted to abduct young women? Why? No, because I wanted to sleep by myself in an enclosed room. Okay, well, that begs a few questions about your childhood.

Yeah, I really like combis. And I used to wear a T-shirt with a combi on it and stuff. Wow. You and everyone else who shopped at JJ's in the early 2000s. No, I bought it from Retro Star in the city. Yeah, combis and Beatles I really liked. But Beatles, you know, I'm just too tall for that. And Kombis, however, so cool.

But then I decided that I would never drive a car and here we are. Yeah. But if you could. If I could, it would be the Jeep from Jurassic Park. Okay, here's what we have. So it's a, oh, my God. Okay, I just looked up the model. So you are talking about a YJ Sahara's Wrangler from 1992.

Jeep from Jurassic Park. That's right. Okay. But here's what I would like to, oh my God. It's so cool. I'm just looking it up again. Okay. Okay.

It's a, okay. just thinking that again Okay But he Okay It's a Okay YJ Sahara Okay In the first episode of Gilmore Girls Lorelai Gilmore The mother of Rory Gilmore Drives her to school In a YJ Jeep Wrangler

Which is that model Jurassic Park Not from 1992 But I would say I'd be more than happy To meet a compromise with you where we can simultaneously have two operating periods. One where it goes out around, you know, on the bunker floor as the... Yeah.

Driving around. People go on tours. Yeah. In the Jurassic Park YJ Wrangler. It's the Ranger car. I could give a shit. The second, like, half of the week. Yeah.

La la. La la. La la. We take off all the Jurassic Park decals and it becomes Lorelei's Jeep. Ooh, I like that. And then we can have a Gilmore Girls and Jurassic Park crossover in the bunker. That's fantastic. Oh, this is so beautiful.

This is good. La la, la la,, la. La, la. La, la. La, la. La, la. La, la. Oh, yeah. See, our two personalities can coexist. Matt, what kind of car do you like?

I actually used to really like the Mini Coopers. Yep. That's it. Yeah, that's cool. I like that, you know, in those, what's the one where the worm drives a car? The worm? What worm drives a car in that book series? Worm drives a car.

There's a worm. Okay, worm. What about. Drives. You look this up. You. Car. There's a worm. Okay, worm. What about. Drive. You look this up. What about, you know, like Mr. Bean's nemesis who drives that three-wheeled car? Yeah.

What's that about? I love that. That's good. Oh, no. I think it was, yeah, Mr. Bean and, yeah, that was where it kind of came from originally. It's a busy world of Richard Scarry. Oh, yeah, that book series was amazing. And that worm drives an apple, which is fantastic.

Oh, like an apple with wheels? There was a series of books, like little animals, like working around town and got old jobs. Oh, I fucking love this worm. Yeah, there was this worm. Yeah, there was this worm. But like that book series was like what, you know, what we thought adult life was going to be like.

And did they have two cross-dressers, one of whom was unemployed? Yeah, that's right. Podcasting? It's in there somewhere. Yeah, like little worms. One is a fox and one is like a- Cording studio is a pumpkin, I guess. One's a little swamp hog. That's right.

Oh, my God, they're so cute. Why is that worm driving a fucking apple around? Okay. I love it. Any other cars worth mentioning? I love the Wolf Creek car. And there's a guy on your street that has the exact model of Wolf Creek car. And the number plate says, Wolf Crook.

Wolf Crook. You're going to die. Oh, Crook. Wolf Cro guy. And the number plate says Wolf Crook. Wolf Crook. You're going to die. Oh, Crook. Wolf Crook. The Yassified. Oh, my God. Who would play her in the Yassified Wolf Crook? Who?

Who would play Mitch? Mitch is. Mick. Mick is the. The murderer. He's the wolf. He's the wolf. He plays the Wolf Creek in Wolf Creek.

Who would play the. Who would Wolf Creek. Who would play the? Who would play her? Who's Yassified Wolf Creek? Maybe, I feel like Korniak could do that. Oh, no, she would play one of the blonde backpackers that's like, help us, he's coming for us. You know what I didn't like at the end of that movie? Is that so many of them, no, did all of them die?

There was three of them. Yeah. of them die there was three of them yeah and one survived and one of them survived and the one that survived i remember was the one that like was unconscious for most of it yeah so how the fuck where's the rest of the movie coming from he was unconscious so we didn't know that that happened recounting these real events he was knocked out baby yeah how do we know well it's an imagined event well it was sold as like more of a documentary are you okay you're like where's tank girl yes this is outback okay god um that movie's so ugly wolf creek no tank girl no those kangaroo people i love that they're scary but cool yeah anyway they yeah um okay wolf creek car

yeah that's good what about the cars that the Spice Girls drove around in on the Olympic finale? The black cabs. That was quite funny. That was chic. And also I just love like Sporty Spice. No, posh, hanging for dear life on the little railing. Clutching that rail. I think I just think I don't want a car that's going to draw attention.

It feels like when I'm on the road, I just want to be as anonymous as possible. So if I hit anyone again, it's fine. Oh, my God. Again. What? What? What did you say?

Who said that? So Kurjan is really into it. He wants to get a Cybertruck. But actually? He is is like it's seventy thousand dollars it's only seventy thousand dollars that's what everyone keeps saying but i'm like what do you mean i would like be i pay seventy thousand dollars not to be embarrassed we'll pay up because um it's seventy thousand dollars yeah that's cheap yeah aud what really yeah can you get it here yet i don't think so okay but anyway i'm like as if i want to drive around and have people be like oh i know the entire

backstory of this car and you thought this was cool and you are like el's little like dick pig. Yeah, you're vomiting on Elon's dick. Yeah. That I feel slightly betrayed because yesterday, Kurt spoke to me about Cybertruck. Yeah. And I thought he was just making like fun banter of like, this stupid thing is so stupid. What do you think about that?

And you were supporting him. No, but I was like, no. But now I realize that he was asking because he was genuinely interested in the vehicle. Yeah. And I said that I liked asking because he was genuinely interested in the vehicle. Yeah. And I said that I liked how smooth the roller door was. That's going to jam, honey. This Cybertruck, for those of you who don't know, Elon Musk's Tesla is releasing their long-awaited, long-teased Cybertruck, which looks like a poorly rendered vector file of a fucking fucking it's laura croft boob car yeah

yeah and um and it's like got a big like ute style back like it's like a truck i guess but it's an ev so i just don't know ev anyway the only ev i. The only Eevee I like is the Pokemon. Blah, blah, blah. You saying that's me? That's you. That's how you sound. That's not what I sound like. Okay.

Cars. Cars. No, that's it. Good. We've done it. Jeep. Jeep. The Lorelei Jurassic Jeep.

Yes. Jurassic girls. Gilmore Park. Gilmore Park. jeep yeah jurassic girls oh gilmore park gilmore park they're on the brachiosaurus but it has like one of their faces on it yeah it's a brachiosaurus but it goes to luke and makes luke's and makes banter his weird apron and it dates jess for a while i know not what you say. La la. Okay. What a week. What a week.

I feel like we got there in the end. Well, to clarify, this week on the podcast and in the bunker, we will now have Catherine Perry handing out Zapp's voodoo-flavored potato chips on entry and inducting people and working at the Wendy's, I guess? Yeah. It was meant to be Kate. Actually, I don't think Katy Perry...

Oh, she could induct people. Katy Perry would work at Disneyland. What about... I feel like the guy... Who's the guy that plays the boy in The Nanny? Bratton. Yeah. Bratton. Yeah. Brighton.

He can induct people. I don't think you want that. They've been through enough. I don't think you want to arrive at the doors of salvation and have Brighton show up. He's a top executive in television now. He's a top? Shut up. Okay, let's fucking arrive at the top.

That's enough out of you. Okay. Do you think if tops... No. That's enough out of you. Do you think if gays couldn't make top-bottom jokes anymore, like 98% of our language would vanish? We'd be like partially mute?

Yes. Like people are like... I'd have to actually think of like things to say. like partially mute. Yes. Like people are like, oh. I'd have to actually think of like things to say. Yeah. It's like we have three jokes and they're just pretty on solid rotation. I can't even think of the other two right now. It's like tops.

And then it's like being like adding extra syllables to things. Yeah. Yeah. And then just quoting stupid things. Yeah. We're a disease. Quoting like a movie from the 90s where a woman was vaguely sassy. That's old gay culture at the moment.

It's like right now I'm just so, you know, the lighting on Morticia's eyes. Yeah, I'm giving Maris in The Parent Trap. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, whatever. I'm giving Lori Petty in Tank Girl. Ah, okay. Yeah.

Cool. Well, thank you so much for joining us once again, everyone. Dearest you. Yeah, you know, sulang yor to you all. Yeah, mande. I hope that you're, you know, winding into this X-mas season or this festive season. You're feeling just complete and whole. Abyssal.

You feel you're abyssal. One week to go. Goodbye. and whole. Abyss hole? You feel you're abyss hole. Hmm. One week to go. Goodbye. Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears.

Our theme song and music was kindly provided by Edie Centric and Angus Lemming. If you want to say something, do it at

deathtoeveronepod at gmail.com. And won't you give us some money? Perhaps. Please. At patreon.com slash death to everyone. Bye bye. Bye. Thank you.