Death To Everyone - Death To… Disney Princesses, Weapons & Cereal

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

What do cereal, weaponry and Disney Princesses have in common? More than you might think... This week Lazy & Zelda wander through the cereal isle, further discuss war crimes and end neatly on the best of a complicated bunch - the Disney Princess. Death To Everyone!!! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

Hello and welcome to Death to Everyone, a podcast from the end of time. The world is doomed, but thankfully we're here to save the worthwhile crumbs that society has spat out over the past 4.5 billion years. What do we deem worthy to be spared from the rapture and stowed in our crucible of culture. Join us to find out. Thanks for tuning in, everyone, to episode three of Death to Everyone. Well, hi, I'm Lacey Susan. And I'm Zelda Moon. And in the opening, I noticed you said the Earth was how many years old? 4.5 billion.

Oh, no. I clearly haven't discovered the scriptures of young Jesus Christ. The Earth is only 17,000 years old. Oh, my God. The dinosaur bones were planted, Zelda Moon. By who, Judas? Oh, my gosh. Yes.

He had a bone making factory. By the non-believers. So, in my school, when I was was growing up we had science class but i went to a hippie school yeah science is a loose term for it go on yeah very loose and our teacher in an effort to facilitate fair and balanced learning for our evangelical student allowed her to present the findings on how fossils were just buried by atheists and make a case for it which sounds very progressive on paper but also you're feeding this poor gal, who was lovely, by the way, to the wolves. Because then she then has to field questions about the stupidest conspiracy ever that was force-fed to her by her insane family.

Oh, my God. Like, she doesn't know. She doesn't know? Wow. Yeah. When do you, I don't know anything about this. Do you know when we started to discover fossils and like dinosaur bones? Because that would be.

Yeah, right? Yes. I feel like that whole part of history is recent. Yes. Because imagine being in like Jesus times and digging up a triceratops. Yeah. What would you think? They're all a lot closer to the surface back then as well.

True. One layer of sediment higher. Yes. The things they could have discovered if they'd just put in a bit more effort. Instead of building all these bloody pyramids. That was what happened in Jesus time, right? Yeah. Yeah. But I'm not telling you that' time, right? Yeah. Yeah.

But I'm not telling you that. Also, this is not a fucking history podcast. If you've come for a history podcast, you're sorely out of luck. I actually, this is more of a finding out about the future podcast. Yes. Because it's the end of the world and we're deciding what should remain. And that's in the future. Yes.

For the next generation. How's your week been? It's been good. It's been good. What's happened? What's happened? We started making kick-ons, which is a web show on YouTube. God, nothing makes you feel more unemployed than explaining to someone over the

age of 50, what you're doing at the moment. And that it's a RuPaul's drag race down under after show shot on YouTube in your back shed with a drag queen. Who's famous in Australia. Yeah. It's always like art is the thing. It's like, she's really, she's really famous.

She's actually really famous. You've probably heard of her. But that's if they've heard of RuPaul. Yes. And so. Oh, yes. Really, it's like. But you know what they have heard of?

What? Coles Minis. Coles Little Shop Minis? Correct. Yes. So by association. They know Art Simone. They do. Oh my God. It by association. They know what Simone. They do.

Oh, my God. It's true. But like that truly. Oh, God. Okay. So Little Shop Minis as a quick side piece. Oh, yes. This concept back like, you know, like you go to a supermarket, you'd spend a certain amount of money and to incentivize you spending money at that supermarket brand loyalty, yada, yada, yada.

They would give you a small gift with purchase. And this gift would be a shop mini, one of their products, a participating business that would then have one of their products made mini great concept. I mean, terrible for the environment, but who the fuck cares? It's an end of the world podcast and the you get the little gift with purchase

and your kids would love it and it would probably shut them off for like five minutes in the back of the car and just like oh I bought a little thing of dishwashing soap yes which is great and adorable I love many things as does the world however

I will never forgive these motherfuckers for making them all different scale oh the scale if i can't put them in the pantry of a little doll's house what are we doing here yeah it's like the pasta box is the same size as the Tim Tams. Piss off. That doesn't make sense. It's disgusting is what it is. I preferred the Safeway version that was like the little seeds. You get little seeds and some coconut fiber, and then you could grow like flowers and vegetables.

Non-natives. Growing invasive species. Oh my God. Furthering your colonialist agenda. flowers and vegetables. Non-natives. From invasive species. Oh my God. Furthering your colonialist agenda in this country of ours. Wow. Well, I thought they were quite sweet, but they all constantly died because I don't know if they dry out really quickly.

It's hard work. If you, I mean, I guess that's probably our first easy like mini round of, of what this is, is, you know, if you end up in the fucking bunker and I'm surviving off minis and you're surviving off the little seeds that won't grow, who dies first? Because I think it's you. I think it's you. You're eating plastic. That feels systemic. But you're going to just be staring at dirt.

What's going to grow? It's cocoa fibre. That was once a coconut, maybe, or part of. Well, let's just bring Ooshies down as a compromise. Ooshies. Oh, God. Do you think the globe has been exposed to Ooshies, or is that just Australia? Definitely just Australia. God, God. Do you think the globe has been exposed to Ooshies or is that just Australia?

Definitely just Australia. God, wonderful. Ooshies are a fever dream of someone who needs to be killed. So they're like little rubber characters. Yes. Are they intended for the end of a pencil or do they just have a hole for some reason? I think they're stickums.

Like their thing is that they stick onto things. Oh, God. Yeah, they're like a squishy vinyl. Yes. But it's awful character design. It's like Simba as an Ushi. Oh, well, cause they had the Disney sponsorship. Yes. But they were really like the actual design of those little creatures was awful.

Not cute. I wouldn't get those for my children. Awful. My children would not know about Ooshies. No Ooshies for you. No. The thing is that you can't really control that because they go to school.

Their friends are going to have Ooshies. Yeah, but I'm going to be like really a bad, like a rude parent. Oh. Yeah, like super controlling. Like the mum from Carrie. Yeah. Look how that turned out.

Exactly. She was fabulous. She's an icon. Well, her daughter was quite successful, actually, as a telepath. Yes. Great in the colour red. And she won prom queen. So, I don't know. Mothering seems to have worked out for her.

Oh, my God. Oh, good times, ain't they all? Oh, wait. And how was your week seldom moon oh thank you for asking that question i was wondering when that question might come uh my week it's been a very busy week we had a gig together it was very busy we had a gig a gig jesus um yes but we had a gig together, which was fabulous. It was a wildlife-themed trivia, which was fun.

They did about as much research for those questions as we do for this podcast. I think the trivia had the opposite issue in that there was some really in-depth things there. Yes. About plant species and which one's native to australia like every question was like if you were in like the botany university yeah maybe these people would be getting it but these are volleyball players who are raising money for their volleyball tournaments or whatever they do they just want to know is it an elephant or is it a giraffe i mean that's the trivia i would have put together i think they would have struggled some of the best hey listen if you're a new fan

who just found us through that gig and you're listening now you were there um yeah so that was fab um we went and saw barbie oh barbie we did so we went with Miss D Flowers and Mum, fellow drag queens. Metal Queen. And it was fab. It was very good. It's hard when things, I can't remember something that's had that much hype, except maybe like Pokemon 2000 or something. It's crazy. The amount of hype.

Yeah. But it's hard to live up to the spectacle was very exciting. Except, yeah, as you were saying, there's going to be a lot of really disappointed basic bitches. I think so. Which is so mad. It's kind of funny. Yeah.

Like going with your gal pals and getting like a two-hour long like meditation on death. Yes. You'll be mad. Yeah. and it's like it's the same crowd that like went out with their gal pals to see the sex in the city movie and that movie gave them what they wanted well that's right this movie maybe if you just watch the first 15 minutes absolutely like yes but when that rosé buzz buzz starts coming down you're like oh oh um seemingly i read a post from the other day that was like okay this is my last post and now i'm going on strike we've just ended the barbie

stuff um and just like a very like passionate like making this film was incredible greta and um margo like put in everything to make this movie exactly what they wanted it to be and i just admire them for that and blah blah blah it's like oh he's such a honey yeah truly yeah great film it was fab and oppenheimer not seen it yet i haven't have you no no i will go and see it, but not wantonly. I see. One of the gals at work today was saying that she saw it on the weekend and that her eardrums were hurting

by the end. Oh my god. It's a film about bombs. Yes. She was like, I think I was sitting too close to the screen and I had like a headache for the rest of the weekend. Like, wow. She said it was three hours. I mean, really, our podcast should have seen the one about the atomic bomb, right? True. Although atomic warfare just seems so predictable at this point.

It's not going to end well. No, no. It's not the kind of end of the world that I desire. Okay. You asked me this last week and now I'll ask you. The world's going to end. How's it going to happen? I like the Grey Goo theory.

You know the Grey Goo? Go on. It's where they make a type of nanobot that can make other nanobots and it's so small and then it just goes into a hyperdrive and starts manufacturing just billions upon billions of nanobots until there seems to be this just giant seething wave of technology that like engulfs us all and like picks us all apart atom by atom to create more of itself until the whole universe is devoured you are describing this as if it's a concept that i meant to be familiar with everyone knows about gray goo honey you you got to get on

it's like the ushis before ushis actually ushis are very similar they were everywhere took over the entire universe kitchen benches in all homes covered in shoes imagine if they could self-replicate my god i'd love to see as like a series a period piece series of photos would be like clutter from different eras oh that's fun because like yeah like those little clutter piles that just just like near the phone back in the day. God, I used to come home from school and get straight onto the phone to my best friend. Brag about it. Yeah. Oh, we used to talk on the phone so much and the cord to the phone didn't go very far.

So I would sit on the kitchen bench. And twiddle your little fingers through the hole. Yes. And the cord to the phone didn't go very far. So I would sit on the kitchen bench. And twiddle your little fingers through the hole. Yes. And in hindsight, I was gay. He wasn't. So what's happening there? Well, it was the 80s.

The 80s. There was nothing else to do. Pardon? Sorry? Yes. I would do the same thing until my head got very hot from the phone. Yes. I think we're going to get brain cancer. Yeah.

Well, shall we talk about our first topic? Yes, let's dive in. After this break. And welcome back. You look great today, by the way. Oh my God, thank you. Not you, the listener. Walking along in your gorgeous little top.

And this fabulous little thing you have on your feet or nothing it's also working your teeth have never looked better oh wow or lack thereof which judging by our demographic i assume 50 50 i um before coming to record this podcast tonight i was editing one of our uh react videos for our patreon account um and it was after said gig on saturday night we filmed a react video for drag race um and at the start of it we both have our makeup on i'm still in drag we look quite amazing and then like at the time it was like half past midnight or something so we start to take off our makeup and about 10 minutes in i think we're both under the impression that our makeup is completely removed i lived that life for the past three days and then i

started editing that video tonight and we look like we have like crawled out of a dumpster after being set on fire and thrown into the dumpster to die like it's horrendous i'm like well we can't reshoot the episode that's just what's gonna have to exist you think that the people who pay three dollars a month to watch two strangers watch drag race on a couch somewhere in victoria yeah i'm gonna like give pause watching us look like absolute fucking troll dolls yeah no now first topic for tonight i thought you were about to like do a cunning lead-in from that story into no i don't have one if you were like a skilled segwayist, maybe that would have happened just then. Well, I'm not a segwayist. Or a linguist.

But our first topic for tonight is, of course, cereal. Okay, so let's get it out the way. What point, what age does it become weird to eat cereal? 15. Yeah. I reckon that's right. Yeah. Cereal.

Cereal. If I am at someone's house and they're opening a little box, a little bag inside. Little, like the mini ones. Oh, I do love those mini ones. But no, if they're opening a box, variety pack, regular size, don't mind. Yeah. And pouring their little dust and covering them in a bit of milk and making themselves a little like special soup. Yeah.

No. No. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. I think muesli, as disgusting as it is, feels like grown-up cereal. Yes. Yeah. Granola.

Pretentious grown-up cereal. Yes. All okay, possible. But if it's like Crispix, no. It's all pretty bad. But it's crazy the amount of space that takes up in a grocery store, it's like half an aisle, maybe a full aisle. I think that's the thing though.

Like grocery stores would be nothing without cereal boxes. Cause they are like the diva tronic diva of the supermarket world before there were Ooshies and Grey Goo, there was cereal boxes. Because like, yes, they're like just empty, Before there were Ooshies and Grey Goo, there was cereal boxes. Because like, yes, they're like just empty mushes, calorie flakes and just in bags. But they're like box real estate is iconic. No one has done boxes like cereal.

And also unafraid to have a mascot. Not many other things have a mascot like that like even like maybe muesli bars or like roll-ups like i suppose it's all because it's aimed at kids and now it is like as i say but yeah and we're also out of mascot era oh true that's unfortunate what about the capilano honey bee? You know? See, she's not mascoty vibes. No, she just happens to be a bee on the packaging story. The mascot.

It's not like the Froot Loops. Toucan Sam. He has a name. Okay. So what am I putting into the crucible of culture? Yes. What is the best of the best of a bad bunch? Well, it's not that they're bad.

It's just that you reach an age limit and you're like, okay, it's time to move on. Yes. Yeah. I think growing up, it was very like Nutri-Grain heavy. The boy cereal. Yeah. It's weird how fucking heavy. The boy cereal. Yeah. It's weird how fucking gendered that cereal is. Yeah.

Iron Man food. And also that advertising is so amazing. That guy's scream. Jalimun of the future, put the sound of the Nutri-Grain ad in here. Oh my God, that could be the first thing on the soundboard. Jalimun of the future, write down a note. Don't get a soundboard. So yes, if you're not from Australia, Nutri-Grain.

How do you describe Nutri-Grain? It's kind of like a brick shape. It's a chain. It looks like a three-holed brick, like a brick shape. It's a chain. It looks, Oh no, it looks like a, yeah, a three hold brick, like a cinder block almost. Yes.

With rounded edges. It's like a brown, like it was like a workshopped color in a lab to find a, a, a brown, a specific brown coloring that would not offend the like fragile masculinity of like young men. australian men young australian men so it's like the whole branding is associated with like triathlons and running into the ocean and like being like a going from boy to man like yeah

you know it's a bum it's for in a box and like like, okay, that's not the advertising strategy, but go on. Where was I? And they really just have never advertised to women. I don't think they do even, even now. Um, and they call it Ironman food.

Um, and it's just like a sweet, it's delicious. It's good. But it also looks chocolatey, but it's not chocolatey flavored. I don't know how I could describe that flavour. Truly.

God. It's like sweet, a bit salty. Yeah. It's delicious. Also doesn't like completely fall apart in the milk. Like there's a certain, if you eat it quick, it's crunchy. Let it sit, get soft. But it doesn't like fall apart.

It's not like Weet-Bix where you're going to be eating a slosh. I love Weet-Bix. Oh, yuck. I like this one. Eat Weet-Bix. We won't allow all kinds of, we want Nutri-Grain house. We will like Power-Grain sometimes when my dad shopped at Aldi. Power-Grain?

It's like the booty boo knockoff. Nutri-grain. I'm so sorry, sister. I didn't know that. It does explain a lot. Power blocks. And we had the wheat picks and you would take a little bit of brown sugar, dust it over the top of your wheatix and then drench them in milk.

So we were Nutri-Grain. Nutri-Grain, very, very, very occasionally Fruit Loops. Fruit Loops? Very occasionally. Oh, I am calling child services today. Oh, like I'm talking like maybe one box a year. We had Coco Pops. That was our one box a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We weren't going to the demonic you know multi-colored yes well um yes occasionally coco pops and then came the queen crunchy nut i didn't know who was going to bring her up first. But incredible.

Crunchy nut. Oh, my God. Who is she? It is. It's like. It's. It's like Froot Loops could never. Oh, nothing.

They're like cheap pandering to our senses. Yeah. When Miss Crunchy Nut comes along and perfects cornflakes. Let's be real. Yes. They are cornflakes, everyone. Yeah, it's glorified cornflakes. But then you take a little bit of the nut, sprinkle it in.

And how are you going to adhere the nut to the flake? Well, of course, humanity's oldest weapon, honey. It's so good. When it's like falling apart and you just got one bit, it's good. And then other times you get a clump. And those are the good times. Those are the good days. It is so delicious.

It makes the milk sweet with the honey. Oh, it's amazing. Oh, well, we don't need to discuss this any further then. Oh, it's clear. It's crunchy nut. It is crunchy nut. And it's like, what a zig and zag for cereal culture. Because no one saw it coming.

I remember when it came out. Yeah. It was like a whole thing. Yeah. I don't think they have it I remember when it came out. Yeah. It was like a whole thing. Yeah. I don't think they have it overseas. I wonder if not. Sort your life out. Like people were like Tim Blooms from Australia.

Uh-uh. Yeah. Have crunchy nut. Um, an honorable mention to, I can't remember what they were called, but like, you know,

the puffs of matrix. Yeah. Like are they checks? Yeah. It's like a puff and puffs of Matrix. Yeah. Chex. Are they Chex? Yeah. It's like a puff and it's like all. Yeah. It's like a lattice.

Lattice. With like a honey. That was like pre-crunchy nut. Crunchy nut's the improvement. But that's a good one too. Yeah. And I would say a shout out to international listeners. Apple Jacks are incredible. It's a Cheerio with a cinnamon

sweet appley flavor it's very good i love it excellent also like the weird dynamic of going and spending time at other kids houses when you were young and what cereal they were allowed to have versus what you were allowed to have true oh it was like kids who could bring roll-ups to school yeah i never had roll-ups and where are those kids now zelda they're still on the peninsula dead no teeth there's some of our no teeth listeners yes oh and you go it's weird like the school lunches like letting other other kids, I don't know, just it's a lot to see each other's lunches. It's so exposing.

Yeah. Like, oh, this is what your house can provide you with. Also, I'm sure we'll talk about breakfast another day as a broader concept. But I remember going to, again, my best friend's house, who I used to call on the phone after school, and they would prepare scrambled eggs like this. You would crack the eggs into like a Tupperware container, put plastic cheese, like open it up,

and like kind of cut it into fifths, kind of swoosh it around in the just egg egg and then put it in the microwave for like two minutes and then it would come out as this like kind of frothy and you kind of whisk it a little and that was that how they made scrambled eggs and then what happened you'd die and this was your best friend you say but it was also was also so strange because they own like a family business of like a long line of butchers. And they have this like very bougie butcher shop down on the peninsula. Name and shame.

No. No, let's not go there. But yeah, it was like, it was so strange because it was like the worst way I could possibly imagine preparing an egg. Did you partake? It was pretty strange because it was like the worst way I could possibly imagine preparing an egg. Did you partake? It was pretty good. Yeah. That's what I imagine.

Yeah. It's like once you get inside. That's why I love like airplane food. Like all that like weird pre-made scrambled eggs that comes in like a little pre-portioned section. Yeah. After they've just lit up the cabin again and you're all there still. I hate, I hate it. I don't want to eat on top of myself.

And then like you've got so much rubbish and there's no room. I love it. And then they offer you like a can of Coke and a cup. And you're like, well, there's only one little divot for a cup on this tray table. Oh, yes. So am I putting my cup there? Am I putting the can there? You're meant to empty the entire can.

Yeah, but then they're going to be back in half an hour to pick it up. I'm going to live with that can. And the lid of the thing and the cutlery plastic. It's a lot. It gives you something to do because you can slowly condense it over time. Like you might put the can in the cup. I'd rather have nothing. Well, nothing you shall receive.

Oh, God, I love all the stupidity of all the individually wrapped everything. A little salt, a little pepper, a little sauce, a little bit of milk, and also you can just have as much tea as you want. Tea. As much coffee as you want. It's As much coffee as you want.

It's so good. No. I don't like drinking on a plane, though. That's crazy. Like drinking alcohol. Yeah. Oh, I could think of nothing worse than being trapped in a space in a, like, oh. Being drunk, just forced to sit down silently.

Like, great. I'm glad I have a buzz for this i get all the awful parts of being drunk another joy when we were flying from new york to l uh from new york to london we were at their like jfk airport that's right right yeah yeah and there was this guy there, just like getting on the plane at the same time as us, because there were 10 Australians, well, 9 and 1 New Zealander. He like heard the they're different.

And they care to be different. And you know, we respect all sorts here. Even New Zealanders. And he was like, oh, hi! You're all Australian! That's my Australian accent, apparently. And he was like oh hi you're all australian that's my australian accent apparently um and he was from queensland and was so wasted and he was just like oh god i can't believe i ran into some motherfucking aussies here fuck me no he was like uh he was an athlete he was like a runner

he was like i live here i'm just going to like a runner. He was like, I live here. I'm just going to London to do a race and then I'm flying back or whatever. It was so strange. But he was so drunk that he couldn't control himself. He was quite sweet, but like he was just talking so loudly. And then we get on the plane and he's like continuing the conversations with the various ones of us who were like three rows away. And like, it was very chaotic. That is like like that's why you don't get drunk on an airplane because you can't control yourself sort it out greg yeah he made a fool of himself that day and i'll never forget it

why do people go to places for races that's weird run at home fucking loser run around the block like what difference does it make is it just that everyone gets like the one time everyone's gonna look at you like what is this about well it's probably like us going to la drag con you know like so you want to meet other runners maybe you want big opportunities you want on RuPaul's Drag Running Race. You want to beat the other runners. Is that it? Maybe. Can you just write down how fast they went into it there?

Drag is about performing. Running is about running, presumably. I don't know. That's beyond our expertise. Perhaps you should have spent less time judging Greg and just ask some questions. We wanted to get to know you. Oh, my God. Shall we have a quick break?

Yeah, let's do it. To my world. To my free world. Welcome back. And now it's time for our second subject. What's going in? To the crucible. Into the bunker. We're discussing weaponry.

Weapons. Throughout all of human time, these tools have allowed humanity to thrive and to die by its own sword. Protection or oppression. That's right. Yeah. Weaponry. What's your favorite? Make your case.

So, I... Gun. I'm going to guess that your weapon is a handheld pistol. Oh, I didn't even think of that. Oh, okay. Well, that's my guess. Because it's very hot. It is very chic.

Aesthetically incredible. Yes. Unfortunate. I hate guns. You actually hate guns more than any other person I've ever met. Yeah. Did I ever tell you? So my first boyfriend,

who I'm sure is not going to ever going to listen to this, um, like, God, um, had gone to like a firing range with his dad. I thought you were going to say my first boyfriend was a gun. And he let me down.

Oh my God. And I like thought about it every time we were together. And I was like, I just can't believe that you've shot a gun. Are you okay? I was really freaked out by it. And his dad and like. You thought in the night his hand would turn into a gun and he would just shoot you. No, but I was like, but why recreationally would you want to just go and learn how to fire something that could kill someone?

Well, I guess there's so many things that you could use. Like, you know, you want to learn taekwondo or karate. Yeah, but, like, it's more than that. Art form. Yes. Well, shooting is also a sport. It is. And that forever was my like thought

process of like there's a skill set and like a real art to martial arts and like like physical like manual weaponry that there isn't in firearms but that's not true it does take a lot of skill and precision and blah blah blah however you can get a similar outcome without those things. I could kill a man with my bare hands. I don't need your pistol. But anyway, that's... Anyway, my guess for you is a pistol. Well, you'd be wrong because it's anthrax. Are you telling me there's not anything more glamorous

than taking a small amount of little powder and having it go in someone's face turning their own physiology against them oh jesus christ it's so chic it's you can send it in the mail you don't even have to be there just a cloud of death oh incredible oh my god what about the one that you put on like a handkerchief and hold it to someone's face? What's that? Oh, like a chloroform. Yeah.

But chloroform doesn't kill them. No, it just knocks you out, right? Yes. Yeah. That seems like your style as well. I do love the idea of chloroform. Handkerchiefs, except, sorry to the people that carry handkerchiefs, but you're fucking weird. Oh, so.

Like, I get like, yeah, I would almost rather die than carry like a handkerchief around. A hanky. Growing up, I had this vivid memory of, so we were a hanky house. Like I had hankies. My hankies were all red my brothers were all blue oh god i hate this story and my dad had i don't know some other color mom who never had hankies but she always kept a tissue in her bra yeah um which is another vivid memory um see that that i can get behind chic yes um but i have like, and I used to hate them.

I never used to really use them, but my dad would. And I have this vivid memory of my mom doing the washing and like, like emptying the washing basket and prepping everything, like taking the tissues out of the pockets and like blah, blah, blah, blah.

And like ripping open the hankies. Cause they'd be all dry. It's not a little clump. Cause I've been sitting there for a day. And she'd have to rip them open before putting them in the washing machine. I will. We're cancelling the podcast. So haunting.

That's foul. And when did you transition off hankies? Oh, I was never on board. I didn't like it. I think I liked, you know know like kind of waving it in my little limp wrist yes starting races at the track yes that i enjoyed but no i didn't really use them also it was like i don't know it was too like kane i didn't even have to snap open open your hankies in the washroom today. Is everything okay? Your brothers, they're all used.

Ew. No, I hate it. Except, you know, the one pass for a hanky? Oh. In Matilda, Miss Honey has the hanky that's on her wrist. And that is one of the most cute and adorable character touches. It's very sweet. Miss Honey. Miss Honey. cute and adorable character touches it's very sweet miss honey miss honey um okay so anthrax you're a demon um my choice is the halberd i'm currently looking up what it halberd is

but it's like a pole it's like a pole arm weapon so it's like a long weapon kind of like a lance oh it's like a big axe yes but it has like an axe edge it has a sword top and then a little stabby part on the back side or a double-edged halberd also very hot because like there's something so like incredible about holding this like weapon that is like on the ground and like soaring into the air you could put a flag on it oh and also you don't have to get close i don't want to get close to someone darling have you met anthrax she's your girl yeah three meters try 30 000 miles oh my god um yeah i mean it's it's camp it does feel like you're just trying to get to be in a parade yes at which point get in a parade honey we could spare some lives do you think that's what gay the gay men are after with the whole mardi gras bullshit

is like they just want to like have giant axes and go back to a kind of medieval experience. Is there something in a past life happening here? Yeah, maybe. I wonder if there'd be some meeting point of like, um, what's,

what's the medieval thing where they're on the horse and they're jousting jousting. What's like the jousting equivalent at Mardi Gras? Dykes on bikes. You know, at the end of the parade where they separate into two congregations and drive really fast with each other. And they knock off the,

the lipstick lesbian from the back of the seat. off the lipstick lesbian from the back of the seat. I know last week I was rallying against space and I don't have an apology for space. I still think you suck. However, parades, parades, no. I just. But what about like Sonic the Hedgehog is like. Oh Macy's Day Parade? Giant balloons? Yeah. Yes. You like things of scale.

Small scale, big scale. But like I just I came out of the closet so I could suck dick and eat ass. Not so I could suck dick and eat ass. Not so I could be caught in traffic. I don't want to walk slowly in the street. Thank you so much. Yeah. Ew.

And it's like a protest I could get into. Yes. I get those homosexuals. I get the 79ers 78ers Starting protesting against the police In Sydney, absolutely That has

Everything about the gay movement Or the queer movement that I really appreciate And respect to them What it has become If I was slowly Dredging along in front of a quantus float i would rather die but what if you're wearing a quantus uniform that has a little rainbow pouch i would on your breast and also it's the homogenization of the queer aesthetic into the same like five holographic harnesses and like awful body glitter yeah it doesn't look fabulous

it's not the fabulous fantasy you think it is i just we've lost our way it is so strange that there is such a lack of diversity in the aesthetic of like sexy gay yeah it's like jockstrap, harness, maybe a dog mask. Yeah. Oh, the dog mask. The dog mask. I don't know.

I mean like, like pop play. Absolutely. I just wish that people were making their own. That's the thing. I think they're all the same. and even like, even the harnesses and the jockstraps and everything,

it's like you go to every sex shop and they have the same, like six different brands with the same 20 different designs. And it's like you go to every sex shop and they have the same like six different brands with the same 20 different designs and it's like there's so little diversity in the clothing yeah it's like what well you know i always hate wearing clothes that people are like oh i saw that in blah blah that looks great yeah i'm like i don't know where i got this from yeah i meant to have just appeared yes yeah but like at those events it's like i mean you just go to like daily jocks.com or whatever yeah and like get the whole outfit no like that i think that's even more interesting and inventive ways to be naked or half naked like fab things to do but then as you say that i think of some examples which is like festival culture where everyone's half

naked and looks fucking ridiculous i hate that oh i don't mind that oh i hate it i think because you're so authentic it's like we're not wearing that when you go to like you're not wearing that when you're going to the movies are you it's like no that's you like this is my fun crazy festival outfit fuck you why don't you just dress like dress how you dress like why do you save it for like three days of the week i mean three days of the year like you're why you're hitting upon like the i think the reason that i maybe have an issue with parades and other people maybe don't is that like i am dressing like a psycho too many days of the year as a drag queen to like get a kick out of that liberation and that feeling of freedom you get from just like being a different person for a day whereas if i was like working behind a desk in an office maybe i would

feel like that exhilaration of being like no one ever sees my legs and now they're out for the world to see and i've got my my striped adidas socks halfway up my calf and no one can stop me i'm crazy it's just weird to go from like one set uniform of like, this is how you dress in an office and this is how you dress at the gay parade. And it's like, this is a big exhilarating moment of freedom. So it's less that I resent that people have stepped out of their regular mode of being.

I just wish that they were doing something that was like unique and exciting to them and not so much like a uniform of the same five things and that is why i love cosplay and i love like comic-con kind of events and like video game conferences stuff like that because people it's the same kind of thing and like it's it's different in a way because you're not creating your own original thing you're just like taking something else but it's this showcase of like i love this thing and I'm going to dress as that. And,

and that's the thing that I want to represent. And so much of that culture is the opposite where it's like the more that you've done yourself, the higher the praise. And it kind of like then spins it in, like it highlights your personality and it really gives you a chance to be yourself and like live this fantasy. Um, it's like, you can't go to the cause, like, I mean, you can't, but you look like a fucking idiot. You'd be like, go to the cosplay shop and like buy the, you know, I don't know, Demon Slayer outfit.

Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it is like a, it's an interesting space we're in i hope the parade i hope mardi gras something big happens it changes it shifts its vibe it's yeah it's bizarre i think we're both also like um having our minds like some friends of ours run events and there was an event. Was that two years ago where like the police for it was a complicated event, but like had to shut down this party. And then like in the middle of Mardi Gras, this like party was shut down at like 1 a.m. And like all of the patrons inside who were half naked had to like go out of

the building and were just like on the street naked and it was just like crazy like i couldn't help but wonder why were you all wearing the exact same outfit but yeah sydney police needs to get their fucking shit together yeah it's like things like. It's like this event is great in theory, but there's just so many, I don't know, there's issues. And that's why I think the halberd is the best weapon. Well, you know. But I think if we've already got Carrie Fisher's bones strung up as decoration in the bunker, we don't really need a halberd next to it.

But Anthrax has a certain sneakiness to it that I like. Well, I think, you know, when you want to poke it, carry fish's bones, you'll want the long stick. Is it true?

Um, do you know one of the most haunting things that Zelda moon ever said? Oh God. Apropos of almost nothing. Well, she was relaying a story was she was talking about like she saw a picture of someone holding a uh gun with a uh bayonet on top and she was like you that's it that's a war crime you can't have that that's a war crime it's a violation of the geneva convention yeah and it was just like what

the fuck are you talking about and she's like to have two two blades you can't have two plates on it you can't have more than two blades on a um on an edge weapon see because it's exactly how she said it was so weird because it's like it lacerates the wound and it's like very difficult to stitch back together that's inappropriate just in the normal stream of you every day you can't have that no i'm sorry it's a violation of the geneva convention it lacerates the wounds in such a way what are you okay and then you chose anthrax it doesn't lacerate you at all except on the inside um but yes then today you bring out the halberd yes which has many, many sharp things.

No, but it makes a clean wound because it's only one edge. There's three blades on there. Yeah, but you're not shoving the entire thing into someone's chest. But wouldn't that be epic? Oh my God. Okay, we'll be right back. Bye. and welcome back our final topic for the day is of course the humble yet beautiful disney princess who's coming into the crucible bunker Into the bunker. None of the bunker. Into the bunker.

I care so little about this. I don't know where to begin. It is because I, like, you know, we both grew up during the, what do they call it? The, like, the revival, the Disney resurgence of the rebirth the rebirth of the Disney animation studios through little mermaid. Lion King. Like, and so I don't know how, like passing through that era, it didn't stick in the way that it is like stuck into the souls and identities of some of our peers.

Yes. Because you meet seemingly normal folks and then you discover they are like full out Disney adults. It's unnerving. I'm not going to yuck anyone else's yum unless it's eating cereal or not sending anthrax in the mail, but it's bizarre. It bizarre but yeah it's i find it quite bizarre just because like i don't know those stories are just like i mean what you like

the space version of it you're a star wars girl yes but like, but, like, I don't know. I just have never resonated with any of those stories very much, I don't think. And I also love musicals. Like, I love things. I love animation. It's just, like, I don't know. It's just never really done it for me.

Especially, like, the classics of Disney. Like, if we're talking, like, Cinderella and Snow White and Ariel and Belle. Okay, so who even knows her name? You, just there. Yeah, but like. That's because I have research for the podcast. Well, I will say. By looking up Disney princess names. Who are they?

When did they happen? Yeah. I did love the Beauty and the Beast growing up as a kid. And I'd walk around my lounge room and I'd pretend to drop my books like Belle in the mud. And then I'd wipe off the books and hold them like she did in front of her chest, which I always thought was very chic. And walk around my house holding the books. Just one moment. Earlier in this podcast, you said, when I came out.

And I'm quite confused by the timeline. Well, I was six and a half and I said, I want to suck dick and eat ass. And not walk in traffic. Was that before or after your parents witnessed you with these books and imaginary mud? Little town. Quiet village. Thank God. Every day. these books and imaginary mud little town quiet village my god um yeah but i did not hold on to that i couldn't particularly tell you the plot of that film i didn't see the remake with emma watson but I just it's like what are we holding on to here

I don't know that there's much in the way of like personality traits particularly in the earlier girlies like Ariel's not an interesting character so I guess I'm today going to just be breaking down by like based on the vibe the look and the vibe

yeah did going to just be breaking down by like based on the vibe the look oh the vibe yeah um did you see any of the discourse this week across snow white what about her that's her casting in the live action oh for fuck's sake what because i can't remember her name but the actress is who did they cast like um i think she's like latina or something oh yeah and it was like um but her name is snow white you're like canonically skin is white as snow like you know well it's time to get back on 4chan, Zelda Moon. Let the world know your thoughts. No, I have no thoughts.

I could care less. It was just like... She has... I was going to say, she's got vitiligo. And that's the story. But yeah, that Snow White, now that you bring her up, is kind of baller attitude. Kind of has some of the coolest trinkets.

Like Poison Apple is quite close to Anthrarax if you do ask someone like me. A glass coffin, quite chic. True. And then hanging out in a house with all those men. You famously love short men bald with beards. It's true. And they mine diamonds. She kind of had it set up.

Then Belle, she also kind of had it set up because she got that giant castle with the library, which is also very chic. Yeah. And all the talking bits and bobs and clocks and a horse. Yes. Hmm. It's between those two for me. Uh-huh. Cinderella, she's just poor and has like one good night like good for you babe i guess she does get all of it for all time though at the

end oh but she doesn't get a glass coffin which is very like chairman mal like go and visit his body and repose at tiananmen Square kind of vibes. Is his body there? Yes. In a glass coffin? Yes. Visible? Yes. People walk past all day.

Wow. Yeah. Jeez. Imagine walking past to see like the bloated corpse of John Howard. Just like, what? I would rather not. I would rather not. I would rather not. You just walk past him in the street and you're like, no, he's not dead.

It's like one of those installations at Fed Square where like Regurgitator are recording an album in Fed Square. But it's... K-Rod's body in repose at Fed Square today. Oh my God. I, thinking about Snow White, do realize that I've based a lot of my entire personality on that one scene of the witch closing the trap door. You know, now that you say it, I do see it.

Yes. I love her. Yeah, well, obviously the villains are far more interesting yes that will be another day also spooky forests that's a great character like you came as spooky forest yeah but just like you know like every branch in the darkness is another there were a lot more haunted trees you know wizard of oz thing-ing, HR Puffin stuffing. Or like labyrinth, like falling through in the hands. And, oh, what about terrifying children?

Where has that gone? There's nothing scary in Encanto other than. Yeah, true. You know, being a bit misunderstood. By your family. What's scarier than that? A spooky forest with hands. i guess it's just displacement oh see encanto's good is she a princess i don't think so but you know who is moana moana she's a princess she has good songs moana is frozen's a princess yes there's not actually

elsa is it Both of them are. Both of them. So, okay. I remember this is a little story time. When I was in LA many months ago, I went on a date with a guy and he was like, I'm a Disney animator. And I was like, oh, cute. And we went to Denny's together. And it was very cute because we were both like obsessed with the kitsch of Americana

stuff because he was from Spain. who were both like obsessed with the kitsch of Americana stuff. Cause he was from Spain. And so, and he's like, I got into his drop top car and he was like, I just couldn't come to LA and not get like a convertible. Like, I think it's so funny.

And we like, we're like, let's go to the Denny's like the family restaurant. And it was like, yeah, when I got pancakes at the Denny's and I was like, so you work for Disney animation studios, like, what are you working on? And he's like, yeah, when I got pancakes at the Denny's and I was like, so you work for Disney Animation Studios. Like, what are you working on?

And he's like, oh, I'm working on this new film called Frozen. And it's like the first Disney film that has two Disney princesses in it. And I was like, oh, sounds kind of shit. Sounds like twice the nightmare. Cut to like a year or so later when it was coming out and then i was telling my friend i was like you've got to go and see my friend's new movie frozen little indie picture yeah i hope you make him yeah oh my god yeah wow um okay so jasmine she's in there. I am not Jasmine.

I am Aladdin. Jasmine, Mulan. Mulan's pretty sick. Yeah. I like her. But also like I'm gray on like, is Pocahontas a princess? I think so. She's counted sometimes in the like merchandising.

Yeah. Um, okay. I'm just going to make my call i'm gonna have to say it's no way she's got it down she's got a cool outfit she's got a vibe yeah um and you know what i believe personally on this side of the podcasting studio that i would enjoy her played by anyone of Anyone of any race. As would I. She's also my pick for Queen of the Disney Princesses. Also because that's like, it's the only one that I watched as a child often. Well, most of them weren't out by the time you were a child.

What was it, the 60s? So funny tonight but yeah it was great yeah and like it has so much soul like i think i do think a lot of those movies have soul um like they're not soulless you just like move on super gay like this is the thing like the howard ashman and alan menken contributions to the Disney Renaissance, like is insane. And that's like centering a gay man and like his specific sensibility and humor that is totally there. It's just for kids. Like I just don't understand why we need to all be infantilized as adults.

Yeah. But I do also like about Snow White that she feels like the outside of the princesses. Because she's not of the same era as the rest. She's like so much older than they are. Well, it's her and Aurora and Cinderella. Yeah, but she doesn't count. Yeah, she's like, she's kind of a loser. She doesn't have like flowing locks. And she's also got, kind of a loser she doesn't have like flowing locks and she's also got

she's a brunette yeah and yeah and she's also got that like 1930s style like voice and it's like when she's at the well i'm wishing i'm. That's the origination of that stupid radio voice. It's the echo from the well. Oh, my God. See episode one for more information on that one. Do you know what I'm talking about? Are you not talking about in episode one where you were, like, saying the same thing twice and changing your voice? yeah i got two okay i understand i wonder if

i bet those two things aren't related anyway i was determined those two things aren't related maybe why are you hi are you okay oh my god you're like r Ryan Seacrest saw that and was like, this is the inspiration for Kiss FM. Maybe, maybe. iHeartRadio, this week, I'm wishing, I'm wishing. Yeah. I do love the joke where they're like, now that Disney's acquired this, this person's technically a Disney princess. Yes.

Fun. Now that we've taken snow white into the bunker what's happening to the other girlies and who do you think is surviving like in the post-apocalyptic landscape without our help i think some of them might assimilate the nanotech and become cyborgs. In the Grey Goo. Yes. Riding the Grey Goo wave. Yes. Moana. Moana.

She knows. She commands the Namibots. She does. She speaks to gods in her film. She's on a different level. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's really fucking weird.

I don't... Please comment, but I don't remember how much Belle is doing to help all the things that are trapped inside of objects. She's living in a house of horrors and she doesn't bat a fucking eye. No. Weirdo. Yeah. No.

She's first to go. Well, no, that makes me think she's kind of got a cold dead heart. And the nanobots will respond well to that. That's right. Has there been a robot princess robot princess at least a cyborg certainly what's disney thinking yeah then i'd like that the brave little toaster was she a disney princess what about wally eve there you go eve eve eve in wally oh it's been a long time since i've seen wally here you can't just drop wally and not expect me to chat you know what i think about when i think of wally what i think of that katie perry music video where she's like you're

so hypnotizing. That's kind of set on a WALL-E kind of planet. I wonder if that was the inspiration for WALL-E. They saw Katy Perry's music video. For E.T. And they decided to make WALL-E. Maybe. Ask her. You don't know.

Do you reckon Katy Perry's upset that she wasn't asked to play a Disney princess at some point? Yeah. Like the pop girl he's after, obviously, like the Little Mermaid. Yeah. It's like, how is, what's her name? Amy Adams. How is Amy Adams getting that gig and not Katy Perry? Famed actress Katy Perry.

That's about enough out of you. So today, going into the bunker, officially we have Kellogg's Crunchy Nut. If you don't have it in your country, move. Not Ooshies. Not Ooshies. We have, oh, we have two weapons yeah i think two let's bring them both anthrax and giant axe the humble halberd the humble halberd the name of your first child and then we have snow white snow white which now that i about it, I'm glad I don't have to be in that bunker because when she starts to sing, my teeth get on edge. I liked it more when she was dead.

That too will come. I would like her to be in the glass coffin. Oh, in the glass coffin. I don't want conscious Snow White. You know what? Well, we're not bringing a fucking coffee table in, so I might as well bring a glass coffin. Glass coffin, coffee table, thank you. With Kellogg's Crunchy Nut for banquets.

And that's for all. Oh, my God. A sprinkling on top of a set, yeah. Absolutely. Well, you could use the glass coffin as storage. Well, it's got a body in it. Yeah, but it's got a body in it. Yeah, but it's not taking up 100% of the usable space.

Well, you want to keep the box of crunchy nut next to her head? Yeah, but she's not dead, Zelda. Don't be ridiculous. Oh, my God. You think she's going to be, like, breathing on it or something? Ew. Ew. Just it's next to her right palm.

Glammy. Glammy white. Well, thank you so much for listening, everyone. And we look forward to having you back next week. And thank you so much for your patience during this hard time. That's going to be my new sign off. Is that in reference to you spending an hour with me? Yes. I see.

Death to Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. And we've been your hosts,

Drag Queens, Lazy Susan and Zelda Moon. And you can contact us at death to everyone pod at gmail.com and if you would subscribe to our patreon at patreon.com slash death to everyone