Death To Everyone - Death To... Drag Queens, Cults & Birthday Cake feat. Eve Elle

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

This week the celestial goddesses are joined by Adelaide's finest, Eve Elle! The gals discuss what should be spared from the impending apocalypse. Which Australian drag queen, which cult and what type of birthday treat will people be served. Find out now! Follow Eve here: IG: @misseveelle Death To Everyone!!! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 Turn to everyone 🎵 🎵 It's supposed to be you 🎵 🎵 🎵 This person will kill you. Another day looking beautiful. You know, when you look me in the eye and say that, I'm going to think you're talking to me. Am I looking you in the eye right now? Yes.

I just couldn't tell. Is my face directed towards your face? Yes. Good, good, yes. Oh, my God. Excellent. What's up? I'm so glad to be with you, my sister.

It's a new year and it's a new me. I've resolved to do a few things this year. Be more confident. Put more faith in me. Is that possible? Just take, you know, I put other people's needs before my own for too long. And now I'm going to be number one. Yeah.

That's me. You know, that's self-care. Oh, wow. So this is the new 2024 me. What do you think? Quite similar to new 2024 me. What do you think? Quite similar to the 2023 you. What do you mean? The bashful, quiet, young ingenue that everyone's come to love through DTE.

What about you? Who are you now? Who am I looking at, supposedly? Well, I've thought about renovating the swamp. That's not my swamp, huh? Yeah. Yeah, maybe this year I could be more of an alligator in the swamp. Did you see that Taika Waititi and Rita Ora went to go and stay at that Airbnb that looks like a Shrek swamp? No.

And she got there and put herself in Shrek green makeup to look like Fiona. And then she forced him to dress up like Shrek? I didn't see that. No. I did. And now I have to put caustic acid in my eyes every three to five hours. Did anyone put a comparison of Heidi Klum and Rita Ora

as Shrek woman next to each other? No. It's not fair to compare. Okay, true. Just like putting Heidi Klum next to other worms. She's always going to look better. I do love worms. Famously, would eat. Of course.

Sister. Yes. We have our first special guest for the year. Wait, wait, wait. Oh my God. This show is called Death Day, everyone. I'm Lazy Susan. I'm Zadavin.

And we do have a very special guest. And the first guest of the year. And it is my pleasure to welcome our Adelaide sister, Miss Eval. Hello, this is she. Miss Eval, I would say you're part of the Adelaide dynasty, part of the Mary's Poppin' crew. Yes, I am. I'm a 31-year-old man from Adelaide, South Australia,

commonly regarded as the most beautiful woman in Australia. You kind of are. According to whom? Myself. I was showing a gal at work who I talked about the pod. I was like, oh, we have a guest on this week, blah, blah, blah. And then I was like, went on your Instagram to show her. And I was like, I'll just show you the story. I'm sure there'll be something there. And it was you performing and I was like, went on your Instagram to show her. And I was like, I'll just show you the story.

I'm sure there'll be something there. And it was you performing. And I was so mad. She was like, wait, do you not like her? And I was like, no, she's obviously incredible. She was talking about this. She was like, she did look flawless. And she was doing Christmas numbers. And it made me angry.

Because it's so good. No, thank you. Starting to sweat. Yeah, Yeah, I think you suffer from being very beautiful How's that? What's that like? It's really hard You know, people don't take me seriously as a comic Yes, of course And what is the cost of beauty to your comedy career?

It's non-existent at this point. We need to work on this. So tell me about Adelaide. You're the first Adelaide guest. So what's happening? Adelaide has a pretty divy reputation. The city of churches. Because famously it's where all the Christian...

Serial killings. Oh, what? You go. I'm looking at me with your... Christian. All the Like the Christian Serial killings Oh What? You go Christian You know like When the You know when the There was the The colonization of Australia

And instead of convicts Coming and settling You know Adelaide is the one place We're free settlers We're free settlers Yeah Well not we

I wasn't there You weren't there I don't believe it But yeah The only free settled city Yeah I believe, in Australia. Which has got to do, like, that's got to be the church. Yeah, there was a massive religious boom. And you've got to imagine the people that, you know, are like,

well, I want to go to the complete other side of the world, to a place that isn't on maps and just check it out. Yeah. So naturally it is the most boring place in Australia. Yeah, the crime rate though. The so out. Yeah. So naturally it is the most boring place in Australia. Yeah, the crime rate, though. The soaring. Yeah. So there was the bodies in barrels, Snowtown.

Yeah. And then what else? The family murders was a big one. What were the family murders? There was a prominent newsreader in Adelaide, and his son went missing. But it was part of a spate of disappearances and it's never been solved. And do they think it was him?

Well, no, he didn't kill his own son. Well, what a perfect cover. I don't know. I don't know. Wow. But, yeah, it was a big thing. Very sad. The Beaumont children, they're still missing.

Oh, yeah, they went to the beach that day. Yeah. Oh, let's go to the beach. Beach. Let's go get away. We do have lovely beaches. Yes. And the wineries.

And the German town. Mm-hmm. Randorf. And what's the Grindr like? What's the grid? Very sad. Well, what you, because we, okay, this is a little bit of backstory on why we're all here and how we all know each other, is that when we went to Adelaide to do Adelaide Fringe, which is the second largest fringe in the world, I'll have you know, second only to Edinburgh.

Then we went to your home bar, your home club, Mary's Poppin'. We all met in the dressing room. It also has the best dressing room of any drag bar in the country to my estimation are you are you angling for sponsorship i swear to god this is just true because i have gotten dressed in so many shitty like yeah back back offices like on a keg like yeah yeah yeah no if we had you at the beast uh i don't think we would have you at the beast again i don't think i would agree to that but oh my god so we the first year that we met you we were with benign girl second year we had androgyny with us because benign girl dad

um quit drag she was part of those family murders But It is Eve right It was you know what I'm about to say Oh no One of my favourite Maybe ever drag memories Is that we are Honoured guests

At Mary's we're performing We're like what was it the first Year how did we get I don't know we were just like Performing at Mary's we're performing we're like what was it the first year how did we get I don't know we were just like performing at Mary's we get there and we're meeting all the girls for the first time I can't remember if it was before or after the show but we're in the dressing room and Eval looks Benign Girl up and down and says to her so how long have you been doing this and for context Benign Girl was wearing like a French-A-Penny dress, like spaghetti straps over her massive ass.

Yeah. Just some heels falling off her feet. Blonde wig with some butterfly clips in. A huge tit bib as well. Yeah. The titty bib. Well, she had the t-shirt style, you know. The bib is back, I think.

The bib is back in a big way. Yeah. But, yeah, she had a tiny little um tiara in her head um and that was when you truly won my respect yes yeah i love her to death she's don't get me wrong i just think it's so funny that's very grand incredible um because i think as well that's the thing that really struck me about Adelaide. It's just the, the finish on the girls. Like, like, yeah,

everyone's very put together. Adelaide has. Are they? Well, yeah, I think. I mean, it spends more time in Melbourne.

Like, even like, I mean, I think like it felt greyhound, like Mary's feels greyhound-y to me. And then it's just like elevated. So we look like dogs to you? The racetrack.

Yeah. But, yeah. Anyway, so what we... So you're fans. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, anyway. All of that to say.

Fans. Big fans of evil. And evil. Do you... What's... Where did you... How did you come up with your name? I actually didn't come up with it

My drag mother And I'm using air quotes Molly Morphine She came up with it I had a different name that I was going to go for And she was like Oh, don't do that What was your drag name?

I have tried to hide this for a long time There's only maybe one or two drag queens in Adelaide that know. Juliette Karp. Horrible. Okay, love this. Aura. Aura Lasex. Aura Lasex, like oral sex.

Yeah, and the looks on your faces right now. I was ready to laugh and then I heard it. Yeah, no, that's what I said. It's just awful. It's not even awful in a good way. No, I think it is. I think Lasex as a last name is very good. It's not even awful in a good way. No, I think it is. I think LeSex as a last name is very good.

It's a bit Kylie Minogue. Yeah, she's LeSex. But that's not me. I'm a spinster. Yeah, well, we always have like the definition of like whether someone's real horny or fake horny. And yeah, in drag, like people, there are drag queens that have a real horny energy and then drag queens that have like a kind of like, ooh, sexy.

So whenever I do anything like that's like horny, it immediately reads as fake horny because I just don't think Lazy Susan has an ounce of genuine interest in sex or sexuality. And that's how people feel about her as well. Actually, well, okay, let me, did I tell this story? I feel like. This. No. No, just that I was seeing, putting air quotes around that one as well,

seeing this like bisexual man for a while, like just off and on. And I was like, he like, I don't know. At some point during the conversation, like arose about drag and he knew that I did drag. And I was just like, oh, it's so funny. Cause sometimes like, obviously my drag sisters will have guys like going for them based on this kind of like, well, maybe you could put on the titty bib tonight. Maybe you can put on the long foray. I'm hoping that it's going to be there like fantasy.

And I was like, I think it's so funny because like Lazy Susan is so not that. Like it's like a woman huffing a cigarette in a suit. He's like checking you out at the grocery store. But then he was like, I don't know. I think Lazy Susan's pretty sexy. And it's like the blood drained out of me. The blood drained out of me So clearly he'd been angling for a while for some sort of, yeah I mean, she could probably be a dominatrix

I thought you were going to go in the other direction There's a term that I only just heard Queen-zoned Queen-zoned? It's like being friend-zoned, except because you're drag queen Yes, oh my god. That's so good. I've been looking for a phrase for this for a long time. Because so much of my life has been queenzoned.

I can imagine. Once they see the drag. Have you been queenzoned? Yeah. We've all been queens. Oh, yeah. It's a real thing you didn't. Less now.

Yes. I know. I thought about fucking your ass But then I thought well she's just so fabulous How long have you two been doing drag? I've been doing Oh my god I just did my audition Eight years

You've been doing it a year long Nine years How long have you been doing it? How old are you? I'm 32 And you're 35 Yeah Little babies How long have you been doing it? How old are you? I'm 32 32 and you've been doing it for 8 years And you're 35 35

I'm 31 and I've been doing it for nearly 15 years Wow Jesus So that's almost pre-Drag Race Or is that pre-Drag Race? I hadn't actually watched it before When I started doing drag And when I started doing drag

It wasn't actually cool to do drag No it was it was it was queen's own city yeah it would have been like very like oh that's your kink i guess like yeah well the the t-word was used a lot around that time yeah nobody uses that now no no no but uh i did frequently get asked if i was yeah yeah yeah interesting i mean like which is a compliment to me oh i think it's stunning beautiful woman I did frequently get asked if I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. T-word. Yeah, interesting. Which is a compliment to me. Oh, I think you're a stunning, beautiful woman. But so then you started in Adelaide 15 years ago. You would have just seen the whole scene change.

Yeah, right. All the gals getting into drag just with the sole purpose of becoming famous drag queens versus... Yeah, so people used to just get in drag to go out and get pissed. Yeah, yeah. with the sole purpose of becoming famous drag queens versus... Yeah. People used to just get in drag to go out and get pissed. Yeah. Which was why I got into it to begin with. Couldn't agree more.

Did it try and win free beer from Karen from Binance? Did Adelaide go through... Did they used to have more venues and they've closed over time or has it always been just like one or two? Yeah, there used to be one and then that kind of reached its peak and uh there was a bit of an overlap and mary's opened and that one went under and someone reopened it and then it didn't last and now there's another venue um so there's only ever a very small opportunity to do drag yeah unless you create your own opportunity. I guess for people working in drag, it's just people doing Mary's

and then a few other little bits and bobs around. And do you feel responsible for gatekeeping drag? Yes, absolutely. If I don't do it, who's going to keep the gate? Oh, God. That's so wild. But yeah, I think if someone told me at the start of doing drag how much it was going to affect my love life,

I probably wouldn't have started. Like, I think I just had to be a certain level of oblivious. I guess I just, you know, I value my drag a lot more than that. I value my drag more than I value dick. It's my art. Yeah. No, someone sincere. Yeah.

I mean, the thing is that it's not just like the desexualization. It's the time factor and it's the, yeah, like absorbing every spare minute that you have. And money. Yeah. Sick of being poor because of drag yeah yeah i mean i'm not poor i would never be oh that's well actually though because i would like because in the dark is based out of adelaide no it is now yeah yeah so a of like, even though Adelaide is not like the, you know, gay capital, it does

have the touring company that brings every major drag queen down under. So like, I guess it does. I mean, there is that appeal to Adelaide of like working there, you kind of are, you know, base command for drag in Melbourne, like in Australia broadly, like the touring girls. It's sort of come to be that way. Yeah. But I think there was just an opportunity that someone saw in Adelaide for a hole in the market.

Yeah. And even after Mary's opened, things were still being run out of Melbourne. But during COVID, it made more sense operationally to jump over to Adelaide. And Adelaide's got a bad reputation, but it's actually a really gorgeous place to live. You can get anywhere in like 30 minutes. Yeah, it's pretty fun. And the rant is much nicer than here. And the whole city

Is surrounded by a garden Yeah Although The grid The grid Oh yes So Adelaide is It was designed

In a grid formation Not designed on a grid Jesus Christ Jesus Now we are here To do one thing And one thing only On this gorgeous

Audio program Which is We are the Now we are here to do one thing and one thing only on this gorgeous audio program, which is we are the two celestial beings and our gorgeous guests, the forces of Evel. We'll be deciding today what gets into a bunker that is saved from an apocalypse of some description, which I would like you to now, Miss Evel, please kindly describe. What is your apocalypse? What are you doing to the world? So I had this incredible idea for how the world is going to end.

I think it's a classic. Perfect. It started when I saw a TikTok of this poor, poor woman who had... Are you fans, Elders? No, I saw her on the grinder grid um this poor woman who had her face mauled by a chimpanzee in the u.s and the the way they described her so savage that it tore off her face um tore off her fingers she's only got like a thumb or a finger on each hand. And it also infected her eyes with some kind of disease in the process, blinding her.

And I thought, yes, well, that does fill me with terror. And they could easily do that. They could all evolve or rise up and do that like in the Planet of the Apes. Yes. Franco is there. I haven't seen the new one. You've seen the old one. Not the gross Charlton Heston ones.

He's a gun freak. Wait, so which ones? Oh, like the Tim Burton ones. No. Oh, yeah. The Tim Burton with Mark Wahlberg. Yes. And Helena. Baby voice. He was at his peak. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yes. Yeah. Tim Burton with Mark Warburg. Yes. And Helena. Baby voice. He was at his peak.

Yeah. Baby voice. Helena Bonham Carter was there. Yeah. Baby face. The witch. That's good. But it's a Taylor Scholler's time. Yeah. Apes go crazy and tear off everyone's faces. Yeah. And there's no one to perform the

life-saving surgery and face transplant that they gave her. Yeah. And she does look great now. Have you seen? I have seen. I hope she doesn't listen. Not what she does. Oh, she can't see.

But in her good ear, yeah. Have you seen? I know not what you say. Hannibal? Yes. You know Mason Verger who, like, Have you seen I know not what you say Hannibal Yes You know The one with Mason Verger

Who like You know Has the face And gets fed The peach And he's like She's got that kind of like Plastic surgery

Yeah Pieced together face Yeah Which I think Like do you reckon Like when I see that face i'm like maybe like with the right beat you could sort this out kind of quick yeah like a good contour send in a drag queen put that on drag race yeah make that the makeover challenge face transplant

people come in and get drag race and they're like now your name is kimberly let's sex get in here aura and kimberly yeah and then suddenly, you know what? I have the confidence to go on. Yeah. Slay, but not in the way that that monkey tried to do to you. No. Coming down the runway. My God.

Yeah. I agree. Okay, that is a really good one. We haven't had a Planet of the Apes. And obviously some lucky humans would retreat into the bunker. The bunker, yes. The rest would either be maimed, murdered or enslaved. Oh, good.

Yeah, yeah. No, that's good. And that's, I wonder where the apes are coming from. Like in Melbourne, we have the zoo. What's the zoo in Adelaide? The zoo. We have the Adelaide Zoo. I haven't been.

I've meant to go both years. You've meant to go both years to the Adelaide Zoo? Yeah. Well, I haven't been for maybe 16 years, so I couldn't say. But there are pandas. Longer than you did. Yeah, there's a reason. There's a crossover.

See, it's taken over your life. No, I just don't want to get near those apes. Damn dirty apes. Okay. Wait, so you haven't seen the original Planet of the Apes? No. There's like six originals. There's six or five.

I don't know. I watched them all maybe two years ago. Planet of the Apes. God, I don't know their names. They're amazing. That first one really freaked me out. Oh, it was so scary. I had so many nightmares.

And then the new ones. There's a new one coming out next year. I really relate to those people playing the apes in the movie because they're in that full sunlight and that awful heavy makeup it's like going to midsummer like not about that see i have a generalized anxiety disorder so the fear is there and it is real generalized anxiety disorder oh tell me you know what anxiety is. I've not experienced it myself. Oh, my God. Zelda, you definitely know what anxiety is. Oh, thank you.

It's just that, but in a general sense. There's just a general wash. Anything could be. Do you find that drag helps or hurts with that? Helps, actually. Like when you're in drag, you're like, as you are now. Yeah. When I'm in drag, I'm unstoppable.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't care who I insult. Yeah, yeah, yeah I don't care who I insult Yeah, yeah Benign girl Who's this hag from Melbourne? Get out of my dressing room And then a lash comes up and you're like I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that

Wow, interesting I'm learning things all the time That's quite good Monkey mole Yeah Okay I love it Now let's head into our very first subject for discussion That's quite good. Monkey Mole. Okay. I love it. Now let's head into our very first subject for discussion.

But first we'll take a quick break. Quick break. And we'll be our beer. That means be right back. To the world. To the world. To every world Okay, everyone, welcome back. Hello.

Well, here we are. So, first subject up for discussion here today. Sheldon, I'm throwing to you because I can't remember what it was. Well, buckle up because you might be interested in joining a cult. Which cult? Which cult will be going into the bunker? Or like concept of cult. I'm going to start us off with a strong one.

Okay. Beauty loop. Mecca's beauty loop. Mecca's beauty loop. Are you familiar with it? Yeah, I am familiar These six sad individuals running through the night Is it just because you don't spend enough to be a level one? I'm a level five

I'm a level five, as in a five-fingered discount Eval, are you a Beauty Loop member? No, I don't shop at Mecca Where do you shop? Online What's that? Internationally Wait, really?

Yeah So you're just typing makeup.com No, I just buy stuff from other retailers Makeup.com Yeah Do they have a Kryolan in Adelaide? We have a Kryolan, yeah There's a few Meccas.

Interesting. See, I've pretty much been in a cult before, so I'm not easily going to be roped back into something like that. Okay. Okay, what about... Now you've dropped that mic. No, no, I'm sorry. What was this cult?

Oh, I can't really talk about it. Oh, my God, yes. No, it's nothing like sorry. What was this cult? Oh, I can't really talk about it. Oh, my God, yes. No, it's nothing like that. Flybys, I do. That's just good value. Baby Slut loves her flybys. Yeah. No, I grew up in the Pentecostal church.

So it's not really. That's cult. It's not your classic cult. It's like the world's oldest cult Yeah, but it is so culty Was it like, because the Pentecostals, what's their point of difference? Yeah, what's the It's like a Christian rock band and stuff

Oh, it's like the like New Age Yeah, right So where does that sit relative to like Planet Shakers and all of that? Is that Pentecostal? It could be adjacent Like the mega church Yeah

It's like a, oh, what's Gomo's church called? Hillsong Hillsong It's that kind of vibe Where, you know, it's all song and it's designed to get you up on your feet And you're, you know, waving your arms And you're like, yes, I can feel it, I can feel it And you're talking in tongues and, you know, yes, I can feel it, I can feel it, and you're talking in tongues and that kind of thing.

Have you talked in tongues? No, no, I'm not lingually that talented. Well, that's it. We need Miss Oral. Yeah. Wow. And then my mum is still a member of the church. But she's an ally, ally, ally.

We love her. And any time we have to go back to the church for, like, a family funeral or, you know, something, everyone's like, hi, welcome to the church. It's nice to see you here. We always love to see new faces. And, yeah, there's just this, like, pull that they're trying to, like, drag you into the fold.

It's a very intense and strange energy that's so when did you pull away was it when you were like so my day break free my dad isn't uh religious so he was kind of like the the light that you know my siblings and i looked to yeah um and so you know we were raised going to the church with mum. Dad would not go. So we're like, there is an option. What's going on here? And so each one by one, I'm the youngest of four children,

and as we turned 13, we were given a choice if we wanted to keep going or not. That's good. And one by one, we were like, bye, see ya. So no one stayed. No one stayed. Oh, mum. Yeah. That yeah that's good though and so were you the only queer in the family uh that i'm aware of wow yeah brother sisters uh brother and two sisters and i'm the youngest so i had a friend for me i don't believe that for a second i had a friend from uni who his he his whole family was really in the church

really christian up in like sydney the beaches and the mom and dad got divorced the dad stayed in religion she went off and she became a late in life lesbian and then one by one each of the four children of which he was the youngest all came out until there was only one brother left in the church and he was like hardcore youth counselor vibes in this big super mega church until he was 28 29 and then he came out as gay oh good for him and everyone so there's two lesbian girls the lesbian mom and the two gay sons is that not intense what's in the water i wouldn't want to compete for attention over some other gay in the family true i don't know how i feel about are they all actually queer or they all just kind of going with the flow yeah like i love sucking dick and cock. Yeah. I wonder.

Yeah. And they also, you know, they pass around the collection plate and there's tithing and stuff so you can donate to the church. Right, right. And does Adelaide have a big Pentecostal scene? There's a big every religion scene, really. I guess the city of churches. City of churches.

All are welcome. Oh, okay. City of churches. Isn't the name. All are welcome. Well, okay, that's good. We've got one. That's quite good. I would say that if you're going to put a cult in the bunker, preferably not one of the intense, like, suicidal, money laundering, sexual abusing cults like Heaven's Gate, even though really camp name, like Heaven's Gate.

Well, there's so much camp that comes out of cults. Like you're telling me that a comet is going to whisk past and a flying saucer is going to take me to the next level of existence. I'd sign up for that. And then some have like quite strict hairstyle options. Yeah, you get matching outfits and Nike shoes. Yeah. That's quite good.

Yeah. See, I don't mind. Like, I mean, obviously Jim Jones, like the big suicide cult. Like, you know, there's just something. You don't mind that? Well, I mean, listen. If everyone else is doing it. A nice sweet drink.

Well, you know, That's my vice dear Yeah well you'd be like Wait we're killing ourselves And I'm not doing that And they'd be like But it's with a nice sweet drink Like hmm Kool-Aid was it? Quite delicious

You're like it is hot in this jungle Can I have my like My cup iced as well? Although it wasn't Kool-Aid apparently Jungle? They moved them all down to the middle of the jungle In Central America The Amazon?

It was not the Amazon Boring It was something starting with a G Goo Goo Goo Something Goo

Matt can you Google that? I'm on it And it wasn't Kool-Aid It was something else And then Kool-Aid spent the next few years just being like, well, what the fuck are we going to do about this? Ah, you worked in marketing. That's gold, baby.

You're like, everyone remembers our name. Wow. Yeah. Oh, well, if it's not Kool-Aid, I'm not interested. But I think he was a bit fruity, that Jim Jones. Yeah. Over 900 people died. And that was the biggest civilian loss of American life prior to 9-11.

So wild. So wild. And no one really knew. He preyed on like old people, poor people and black people. Like everyone at the fringes at that time. Someone's got to pray for them. That's right. And he was like coming in and then he moved them all down to the jungle.

I mean Tell me Like did they make their houses out of jungle stuff? I don't know I want to say it was more like a compound There was like cabins There would have been money I think there was money And I think there was like cabins

Cabin in the woods Cabin in the jungle Yeah Is that a secret? Shut the fuck up Okay When I Moved to the city Cabin in the jungle, yeah. Shut the fuck up. Okay, when I moved to the city, I lived with my good friend Claire and her partner at the time was brought up, parents, him in Scientology and he kind of like flirted with freedom and then, you know,

came back to the abusive lover. And I went with Claire one day to the Scientology church in the city, which is now a Chanel store. That's so chic. Yeah. Because they built a new one out in Ascavel, which I go past. We can show you sometime. Anyway.

What a downgrade. Well, the new church, it's actually like the garden is what a downgrade well the new church it's actually like the garden is so beautiful it's like and it's a new building free labor yeah but it's like covered in like vines and that's a really that's hard work anyway um to get that it's the growth is incredible for like a 10-year building anyway Anyway, but I went and had my personality test and it was like, we did it because we thought it was funny, but it was the most like accurate assessment of like my personality and anxieties

and like everything. There's that word again. But it was crazy. And so you go and you do the personality test and then you get the results and it's like so here's everything wrong with you and then wait what was wrong with you everything everything's wrong with you but like oh i don't know any psychoanalysis that you care to pardon me lay on me like they picked up on yeah and then it would be like okay so for this thing you're going to do this course with us and if you want to work on this

then you can do this and it was all like pinpointed around your result no but all the celebrities no that's such a huge draw card yeah i know they need some new celebrities yeah because they're kind of they used to have the A-list. Tom Cruise still obviously is very famous. But like, I don't know that you're pulling as many people with John Travolta as you once were. And now that they lost Leah Remini, I don't know. I can't get behind that. What's that?

Leah Remini. Leah Remini. Michelle Visage's best friend. From the King of Queens. Yeah. Doug's wife. King of Queens. Oh, that's that ugly cartoon. No. How dare you talk about Leah Remini. King of the Yeah Doug's wife King of Queens Oh that's that ugly cartoon

No How dare you talk about King of the Hill Oh King of the Hill King of Queens The King of Queens With With

Jerry Just keep saying it Jerry Stiller Is the dad From From Seinfeld What's the actor's name With

Kevin James Kevin James Paul Blart The meme of him Like crossing his arms Next to the speaker With the big tits With the big tits

With that shoe drag With that massive rack He could go in the bunker With that I don't know what You are saying to me But I don't want to Sign up for Scientology

For that reason either What if we Harmoniously sing The theme song Oh my god What is the theme song To you My eyes are getting weary

My back is getting tight Sitting here in traffic The fact that you were able to pull Doug. This is awful. Like the name of the protagonist of King and Queens, which I would consider to be like a B-list. But not the actor's name.

But like it's impressive. No, it's just impressive to me and horrifying. Anyway, Leah Remini is an icon icon She hasn't really done much else Well she did a show about escaping Scientology And then she used to be on a show called The Talk Where she was one of the people Anyway she's just great And she was the one that like really stuck it to Old May

The head of Scientology Being like where's your wife? Where's Shelley Miscavige? Yeah. Matt, did you find out which jungle they all died in? I couldn't find any jungle starting with G. Wait, you just Googled jungle starting with G? I just, I wrote in a G jungle.

I don't think it's a jungle. I think it's just a place. Listen, listen, okay, why didn't you Google Jim Jones jungle. Jones Jungle. Jonestown Massacre. Jonestown.

Guyana? Guyana. That's it. Guyana. Wow, you really pulled that G as well. Guyana, the People's Temple Agri-Agricultural Project. Yep. Guyana.

Better known by its informal name, Jonestown. Guyana is very RPG town name. Yeah, Jonestown has such a nice ring to it. Yeah, it's better than Elizabethtown with Kirsten Dunst and Olive. I mean, what's her name? Bloom. Orlando. Anyway.

Katy Perry's ex-husband. Ex? Wait, ex. They're still together. Not for long. What do you know that we don't? It's over. I can't do it anymore.

Have you done gay things with Orlando Bloom? Just my resolutions for 2024. Oh my God, you didn't even ask. What are you doing with 2024? Who are you now? What's your resolution? We'll see. I prefer not to make a resolution

because then you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. We'll see I prefer not to make a resolution Because then You're just setting yourself up for disappointment I don't want to fail I don't want to be seen failing I just prefer to evolve Let myself evolve That could be your drag race makeover challenge Of the face lady

Evolve Of the old family okay so other cults there is where i'm from in the dandenong ranges specifically like fern tree gully there was a cult called the family which was active when i lived there um in my early childhood but they there's a group of nurses and midwives who believed they were surrounded by this one woman surrounded around this one woman who believed herself to miranda from sex in the city she believed herself to be miranda she believed that she was the reincarnation of jesus christ and she got some of the women who were midwives to steal children from the maternity ward and then they raised them as their own

on the compound and then they bleached all their hair so they all had white children of the corn hair and then they gave them acid from time to time so that everyone in the cult could see Jesus. The gay community would die for that kind of lifestyle. It kind of is that gay lifestyle. Free bleach jobs and free acid. Yeah.

You just described, but it's voluntary. Do you think, like, what's the best gay cult apart from Jim Jones? Is there any gay cults? F45. F45. That feels very straight male, though. Oh, what's the other one? It's a Jim. Well, who are male though. Oh, what's the other one? It's a gym.

Well, who are you asking? Oh, sorry. Where are you throwing this question? Matt, you look like you might go to the gym. No. Fitness first. Is that? It's a.

Silkwood? Gym's something or. Gym's mowing. Oh, it's gym's lashes. Jim's mowing It's Jim's lashes Jim's mowing Jim's doing lashes now apparently Jim's doing lashes Get it diva A cult

Barry's boot camp That was it Barry's boot camp That is a cult Yep Why have I heard about that so much It's akin to F45 But all the gays go to Barry's boot camp

They always talk about it on the The girls next level Like Holly Madison's always like And then I just go The only thing I could do was my Barry's Boot Camp I love it when they talk about Not Scary Farm Because they talk about that all the time

Are you familiar with this? I didn't know that I just thought that was a word But they're saying This is me asking you They're saying like Not scary farm The Halloween one

Yeah But I just thought that was one word Like not scary farm So it's normally Knott's Berry Farm A what? Knott's Berry So Knott's Berry Knott's Berry

Knott's Berry Farm is like a A theme park in the US Like a chain You can go to a Knott's Berry Farm Like like a A theme park in the US Like a chain You can go to a Knott's Berry Farm Like Six Flags And what is it What's it themed about? It doesn't have a theme

It's just like a Disneyland or whatever But like low rent Okay And then Then Yeah the Halloween offering I guess Is called Knott's Scary Farm Which would make sense

Why Bridget's interested in it Because the girls at the Playboy Mansion Yes Have a podcast now Where they always talk about Barry's Boom Cow Okay And now we're all Knott's Scary Farm Wait is it Bridget's interested in it Because the girls Of the Playboy Mansion Yes Have a podcast now Where they always talk about Barry's boot camp Okay And now we're all

Wait is it Bridget Holly Bridget and Holly And no Kendra No Kendra They actually It's a very similar setup to this Yes

Because our Except that we don't hate Benign Girl They don't hate Kendra And we're three beautiful ladies Yeah yeah yeah Yeah But no They don't I don't What What I hate Kendra. And we're three beautiful ladies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but no, they don't.

I don't. What? What? Kendra sucks. Benign girl's great. I like Kendra. Oh, shut up. And I like benign girl.

Brave. Kendra, ugh, God. I'm so glad they don't like Kendra. What do you think about Kendra? I'm indifferent. I'm glad she died and then we got Faith around there okay reference yeah yeah yeah that was exciting um the other cult so yeah that was interesting the other cult cult cult there's one um let me do. Let's check my notes here. Notes?

My eyes are getting weird. Children of God. What did they do? I don't know, but they had the families of Joaquin Phoenix and Rose McGowan. Oh, that's right. They grew up in those cults. Were they Italian affiliated? Because I feel like Rose McGowan grew up in like a compound in Italy

that was Children of God. Could be. But it's still around. Probably. A lot of these cults still have little tendrils. Denominations. Lingering. Yeah, I'd like to start a cult.

Perhaps. Perhaps something like that. That could be your 2024. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cult leader. Do you think you're charismatic enough for that? You might be. Maybe.

Yeah. Maybe Zelda. Maybe I could be. And you know what? Then the age would report my death. You know, that's my thing for 2024. Is that your death reported by the age? Yeah, I think I could do it.

Good luck. You going to do anything good this year then? I will kill you and rip off your face. Leave that to the monkeys. And for once, I'm not talking about you when I say that. Well, you've insulted me here enough in front of my dear friend, Eval. Okay. Okay. Okay.

So we've got Pentecostal Scientology. Scientology is chic. Scientology is a huge one. I love science fiction. You've been working on that one for a while. What? But I do like that it's just so bold-faced a lie. Yeah.

The artwork for that, I was going to say brand. For Dianetics. Yes. Yeah, that giant blue building is very effective in LA, the Celebrity Center. And it was invented by L. Ron Hubbard? Yeah. And what did he do?

He was a fiction writer. Yeah. What of note? He did, what was the? Return of the Jedi. What of note? He did, what was the? Return of the Jedi.

No, there was a science fiction movie that he wrote. Battlefield Earth. Yeah. Wasn't that his? Was that it? Yeah, but he was just like one of those. Battlefield Earth. The one with John Travolta. Which John Travolta produced himself.

I watched that. No Hollywood studio would touch it. Yeah. They're like, we're going to do it. And like Will Smith and his family were in it for a while. But they're a mess now. They're doing so much better with that. But yeah, that's a good time.

Although, yeah, the thing that I find really annoying, and this is the thing about the Pentecostal and the churches in general, is that you know being raised atheist i would try and like go to my friend's churches you know i had a friend who was like seventh day adventist in primary school and like another friend who was just like straight you know milquetoast christian and then like all these other things and no one ever tried to like steal me in the night no one ever tried to be like, come back again on next Sunday and we'll give you a lamington. Like no one was trying to recruit me.

No one's ever tried to put me in their cult. They don't let monkeys in cults, do they? Perhaps if you went to a zoo, they might try to put you in a cage. I see you've decided to be funny in the new year. Exciting for you. 38 years later. What? What?

I'm not 38 this year. Are you not? Oh, my God. Someone should tell your face that. Before it's torn up. Okay. Okay. Let's be kind We've got company

Lulu Lemon Lulu Lemon is a cult Lulu Lemon is a cult I would say it's a pretty bad one What do they sell? They sell athleisure It is crazy sometimes Like looking at

This is like an equivalent of like Men's like gray tracksuit pants where everyone can see a dick and then like leg leggings on like sporty gals yeah that are like designed to in your ass hole and like it has the like rouging so like your ass looks incredible but like i am just looking at your whole ass. It's crazy. It's bad. I mean, like, imagine being that comfortable.

I can't help it. Yeah. It's incredible. And it's in front of me. Are you saying they shouldn't dress like that? No. Asking for it? No.

Oh, my God. No. The moon. I'm just saying that these things are critical. And what would Ms. Lemon say about that? Lulu. Lulu. Yeah.

And then, I mean, there's also Mary Kay Cosmetics. That's more MLM, which I think is probably a different thing. But it is bordering. Oh, that's so true. Yeah. What's the MLM? There are so many. Well, that's, I mean, like they've really kind of.

My aunt used to sell the Tupperware. Oh, that's. Tupperware is a big one. My friend's mom does it. Tupperware. And she does women's clothes. If we put Tupperware as a cult into the bunker, everything would be fresh. True.

Except that's discussed. And so many Jimmy Bolds. You can never find the lids. Oh, my God. as a cult into the bunker, everything would be fresh. True. Except that's disgust. And so many jelly bowls. You can never find the lids. Oh, my God. Everyone needs to talk about this. Here's another thing. Yeah. Apparently, they don't pickle the beetroot in the can anymore.

You know how you have the plastic Tupperware container for the beetroot? Yes, and it has the little thing where you pull it out and then the water is separated So when we were growing up It was pickled Now it's just in water So if you taste the beetroot It tastes like shit

Wait, what? I would like empty a can into that thing And then, because the stuff in the can Now that liquid is just water It used to be a pickling liquid Wait, so in a can now they just now that liquid is just water it used to be a pickling liquid wait so in a can yeah of beetroot that like syrupy pink colored used to be like a vinegar yeah it was kind of sweet like a brand yeah yeah brian normally it's like a sugar and now it's just water and now it's just water wow so if you want it to taste good you should re-pickle it in the container wow but i

i love this from tupperware about that tupperware thing we had one of those that was so cool yeah the suction so it's like a it's like a square a tall square container but it has a like netted contraption like a slide you pull it up and it drains away the liquid so you can pluck out the delicious beet oh my god and it's just for beetroots or like other i don't think anything else would be suitable for that look if you can think of another way to sell that product you'd make a lot of money what about like other pickles i suppose pickle pickles oh yeah yeah pickle pickle tupperware. That's a good point because every time I try to get the pickle out of the jar.

I'm so mad. The little briny fingers. Is that what it looked like? Yes. Jesus. It's so beautiful. Show me this. Oh, so it has like a gorgeous like.

Yeah. Oh. My mom probably still has the one that we had growing up. Oh, we still have one. Oh, pickles. Example number one. the one that we had growing up. Oh, we still have one. Pickles, example number one. There we go. I don't seem betrayed anywhere here.

I also love the little spinner thing for lettuce. I need one of those. Salad spinner. Yeah. That's what's cool. I need one of those. Why has no one ever gifted me that? People just don't centrifuge their salads anymore.

Well, I mean, that's it. Because otherwise I wouldn't clean that lettuce. I don't wash things before I eat them. No. I need the pesticides. The only thing I will do is when I chop a bok choy. Because there's always grit at the base of that. Why is bok choy the one like that?

We have hydroponics. Get it together. Yeah. Beer, everything else. I'm not cleaning an apple. No. Oh, I do. I'll wipe it on my shirt like I'm a gal in a movie who's going to flirt with her teacher. But only for the bit, not for hygiene.

Not for hygiene reasons. I only wash my hands. Do you rinse all fruit and vegetables before you consume them? Only ones that aren't in a sealed thing. If it says washed and ready, then I'll proceed cautiously. See, this is why generalized anxiety is helping you. Because you're going to live forever without all those pesticides in you. Look how young I look.

But I'm'm gonna die tomorrow before the age has even discovered who you are hey if you um write for the age maybe the obituary isn't it just um shoot us some note even if it's like i don't know the leader or whatever i'll take that for now Do you think You would get a write up Evel in the Adelaide age Yeah There's no such

Publication exists No but The advertiser Oh The Adelaide advertiser Yes Yeah I think you would

And Kane probably would right Yeah Kane and Abel Yeah Adelaide Other icon Yeah Congratulations I. Adelaide's other icon. Yeah. Yeah.

Hmm. Congratulations. I'm Adelaide's icon. Cain is Adelaide's other icon. Yes, the Courtney and Vanity of Adelaide. Hmm. Who's the Courtney and who's the Vanity? Um, hmm.

I would say I'm the Torah. Torah Hyman? Torah Hyman Torah Hyman Yeah Well you're the aura Aura-less sex Well that's what they call me Oh my god

Okay cults What cults? Cults Okay listen I'm happy Can we just put in the wigs From like bleached wigs Can we just do that?

Well that's I think bleached wigs We know that I mean If the gays can't be there We may as well have everyone With bleached wigs and acid. We need a second wig.

What do you think? The family from the hills? Sure. Yeah. Why not? Not putting up a fight there. This is good. This is good.

This is unanimous. Can we maybe just tweak it and say it's the family, but mum loves to sell a bit of tupperware on the side good yes but specifically only the pickle thing if you're gonna have 28 kids you know you're gonna need to keep that food fresh yeah yes and you can put the faces in there of your loved ones that were torn off by age and brine them and then pull up that little grate it's just a reminder this could happen to you yeah stop showing us that pickled face um matt do you have any cults you want to throw in oh you're from

steiner school go on yeah maybe just yeah it's steiner but no one else will choose that so i mean it felt very culty uh to some degree what do you think are the three cultiest things about steiner school that people might not know. I feel like it's always like when everybody gathers together, like when we had a school gathering, it felt very culty. A lot of the time it was like to do... Assembly! Woo! It was a lot of like chanting and stuff, singing and stuff, you know.

So when everybody got together like that, it felt very culty. We used to have like a winter solstice sort of very pagan-y sort of festival and we would all sing this song and carry candles around and wear robes and stuff. That always sounds very ceremonious. This is very culty. But what's the song? You said we'd always sing this song

It was like a song that we sang every year It was about bringing the light Sing the song Yeah, I feel like that's a really easy way to communicate this, man I don't want to sing the song on the podcast Why not? It's embarrassing Oh, come on

It was something like It was called The Gift of the Light. That was what the song was called. Well, go on. Give us the gift of a song. The gift of the light we thankfully bring. So it was like very like kind of monkey, you know, like. Monkey?

Monkey? No, not like a monkey, like monkish, you know. Oh, good. Well, we'll have to clarify that In the bunker Wow And Yeah we used to sing that song What sort of chants

Um Other Hoorah Hoorah Yeah Not like Yeah more to do with like Um

Nature And Earth Leaf Leaf Dirt Tree Yeah I know that one one seasons can someone fill me in what is steiner school so there was a man named rudolf steiner who um devised his own education

method feeling that the way that children were being educated was not correct. In the early 1900s. He was a Nazi. Yeah, it was a bit questionable. Yeah. Is that a cult? But he had a whole thing about the, like, nature and, like, how we need to reconnect education to nature and kind of put things in keeping with the seasons and making kids more aware of that.

And then also that you in Steiner school have, when you start in prep, you have one teacher that sees you through your whole education. Oh, so if you get Mrs. S in the first, you call that by your first name, you get taken through your whole education with that teacher.

What if they die? What happens if they die? Matt? Who? What died? What if your teacher died in year four and you still had more years to go? Oh, they would find a replacement. But she had to wear the face of Mrs. Lowe.

I think that hurts her feeling. If they could find the face in the monkey's lair. Otherwise a good makeup job was required. And then you're not allowed to have dolls with faces. You have to make all your toys. Is that correct? Yeah. I mean, that was one of the things that happened.

But, like, it was more like he had, like, a whole philosophy. He wrote a whole series of books on philosophy and combined kind of like religion and spirituality aspects of different things to kind of suit his world beliefs, I guess. But I don't think he was actually a Nazi. I think he was maybe a bit racist, but I don't think he was actually a Nazi. I think the Nazis actually persecuted him, potentially. He was a martyr. Yeah. From Nazi to martyr in two minutes.

And, well, okay, so my friend's kids are currently in Steiner school, and one of the versions of this, like, of a Steiner education is that, like, this is just the kind of thing that, I don't know, they believe in like there's a combination of different educational principles all happening in one big class setting project. So their teacher currently is making a giant Viking ship. It was very practical and creative.

Like they came at everything, even science With a very strong emphasis on creativity Which was good And so the end of the term All the kids had made a Viking ship that was buoyant on a lake Buoyant? And they all got on And they'd all drowned

But they had to do the maths to math out how big everything needed to be and everything so that was the kids and then my like he was like my younger daughter is in the class with the kind of shit woman and he's like one of us gets viking ships the other one gets like how to peel an onion both practical yeah i watched some videos recently on like how like because obviously they build ships on land and they like roll them into the ocean oh it's so cool and scary and then once they're in the ocean that is it baby what do you mean out yeah like unless it's like serious maintenance and then they have to go into those docks and then they drain it out it is theatrical i don't fuck with ships

Like cargo ships Those cargo are very heavy How is it not sinking? Buoyancy If you went to Steiner school you would know Yeah could I go what year was it? Were they in grade 5 and they have a better Concept of this than I do?

Interesting But yeah some of the performance-y aspects of the school definitely felt a bit cult-y. Well, I'm hearing robes. I'm hearing community. I'm hearing, you know, life lessons about the ocean. I think we should put that in instead of whatever we said before. I'm happy to put in Steiner education.

I wouldn't call it a proper cult though like oh no it sounds like someone called to me i also think we need to think twice about putting education in the bunker that sounds dangerous that does so we don't need an enlightened public rise up against us okay well let's just go for blonde bobs And some Tupperware for beetroot little pickles And faces Okay, well let's lock it in and let's move along Alright, fabulous Huzzah!

We'll be right back everyone Adios mi amor And we're back Hello We're here sitting with the Adelaide diva herself And we're back. Hello. We're here sitting with the Adelaide diva herself, Miss Eva. Hi. Hi. What do people need to know about you?

There's very little to know, to be honest. Well, don't downplay it. Surely there's something. I'm a mystery. Wrapped in an enigma. You have to find me on Instagram. Oh, yeah. Please do that as well

don't find evil leave a comment we always put the link in the thing okay speaking of your thoughts on things our next topic for discussion tonight is which Australian drag queen will be

going into the bunker you go first Which Australian drag queen will be going into the bunker? You go first. I don't know any. I've never met an Australian drag queen. Obviously, well, you may have already mentioned it. Who? Wigs by Vanity.

Wigs by Vanity. Wigs by Vanity. I mean, iconic. Perhaps the most iconic Australian drag queen. I think you might have stolen my answer. That is for real. Oh, you asked me to go first. But I have to concur. So if you don't know who this person is, which, what are you, crazy? Living under a rock.

Yeah. What are you, crazy? Living under a rock. Yeah. One of the iconic Sydney drag queens, multiple Diva Award winning drag queens, her name's Vanity. Yeah. And she has a wig company

and she does personal styling for Miss Courtney Act, if you've heard of her, of season one of Australian Idol fame. act if you've heard of her of season one of australian idol fame and she is incredible she's like simultaneously the most like whacked out crazy bitch that you've ever met but also the most beautiful talented talented doll of a woman. Like insane. It's crazy. The duality. Yeah. She's Australia drag in essence. Yeah.

Like has a kind of, she contains multitudes truly. Try and put that on Drag Race Down Under. They really should have. Why haven't they? How has that not happened? I don't think she wants to. Yeah. They're probably begging her.

I think that, yeah. Season one she wants to. Yeah. They're probably begging her. I think that, yeah. Season one she wanted to. Yeah, she auditioned and then she broke her hand. She broke her hand and then she had that pain medication and then she was out in the rain drinking rainwater off of rosebuds. Need we say more? That could have seen the ratings of Down Under season two go through the roof i truly yeah it's like how would you put her on and not crown her she's kind of too famous for it in a lot of ways

it's like putting sasha colby yeah yeah exactly it's just like everyone's like okay well goodbye yeah yeah uh vanity i was also say vanity Is she too perfect? Well no, see this is the duality of vanity Is that she's such a bogan bitch Such a larrikin She's got that essence of like She is flawed She's like, you know, a sassy drunk

Like, you know, she's got all of it in her Such a drunk Yeah, and that's like That is like She's not just perfection But she can do it when she needs to which is to me the ideal version of perfection it's like oh if i could do that i could do that all the time if i wanted to but i don't want to right now because i want to get drunk

yeah yeah like that's so good and that's what original rupaul was kind of like like rupaul nowadays it's a bit more like you don't really see as much of her like sassy, like chaotic side because she has a whole franchise to think about and the PR of all of that. And she's got a whole, RuPaul has a whole team. People looking after her. There's bulldog clips holding everything together at the back. She can't do anything. She's maintaining the image for the public.

But Vanity doesn't need to worry about that. No. The image for the public But Vanity doesn't need to worry about that No One time after DragCon in LA I saw Vanity drunk as piss In a beer garden And she was standing there trying to Smoke an unlit cigarette Incredible I walked up and I was like

Do you need me to find a light? And she was like It's just pretend Just pretend She was so drunk I don't think she knew that it wasn't incredible if anyone could smoke a lit cigarette down to its nub it could be vanity where just slowly we told that story about drag expo with her from last year but from two years ago at Drag Expo, there was the second day.

I was there early before my sisters had yet arrived. And I was off getting like an iced latte from the cafe. And Vanity was in front of me and she ordered a beer. This is maybe 8 a.m. And I was like, Vanity, you have to let me pay for that you know you know which is why she was so warm when you came up on the second year oh my god and she was like oh thanks love and then it was oh she's just well courage i i mean i just i do want to point out that there are three drag queens in this room And none of us have put ourselves in the bunker

We're beyond the bunker What about you Adam? What about you? Why wouldn't you put yourself in the bunker? Just a modest girl from Adelaide I wouldn't dare I dare If you had to put a gal from Adelaide in

That isn't you I want you to get home At the end of this pod And have no friends Well you'll have one friend Or just one friend Yeah Really good one

Ooh Is Kane getting in? Miss Humpty? What's going on? Oh, Hunty Dumpty Yeah I do love I would love to save her

Yeah But Alison Express is probably my One of my favourites She's just, you know, very hungry to deliver. Which is what we need in the bunker. Yeah. She just had her face laser resurfaced too. What does that actually do?

Horrifying. She looks like she's had her face ripped off. It's like an oxygen laser or something, and it just burns your whole face off, and then it heals and you have nice smooth skin. Wow. That's the kind of dedication I want to see in the bunker. I love that.

That's true. It has nothing to do with drag, though, really. Well, no, that's a dedication. But I think we have a shitty bar in the bunker. The biker bar. The biker bar where a bunch of women are having the best night of their lives. Yeah, vanity would really fit in there. And that would likely be the place.

Like they'd be performing there. They might get a spot at the Nanny set. Yes. And they might get invited to drive the bait bus when Crystal is out of action. Yes. On a break getting a milkshake. Yeah. So that might be the three times.

Actually, I need to raise a question. Yeah. So there are Macca's Strawberry Thick Shakes in the bunker. Yes. How are they performing up against the magnate of Wendy's Shakes? I'm going to throw that one to you, Zelda Moon, because I'm not in the game. You just said yourself that you're going for the Wendy's.

If I had the two in front of me I think I would go Flakeshake Of course Because I've had more McDonald's Strawberry thick shakes in my life than Flakeshakes Because Wendy's is rare And it shows Wendy's is like a rare

Sighting in the universe Yeah You know inhabitants are spoiled by having one you know 10 meters away at all times so yeah i think for eternity like i've had probably enough strawberry thick shakes at this point but i could never have enough of the flake shake yeah okay that's interesting, I suppose Okay, which drag queen from Melbourne would you put in? Oh, don't make me choose I'm hoping, okay, here's my plan

I'm going to follow this up with every city What about San Diego? No, but I'm going to hope And the reason that, you know, obviously I'm a celestial being I can't be in the bunker But, you know, I hope you make mean, the reason that, you know, obviously I'm a celestial being, I can't be in the bunker. No. But, you know, I hope you make some wise decisions here today. Yeah, I mean, obviously I would have said, well, one of you two.

I won't say which. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, like, I mean, I say vanity, but in... If I have to pick a Melbourne galown Does it need to be An original Melbourne Queen No she can be from elsewhere As long as she calls We just want you to bitch About drag queens

Just do that Passion Couture Oh Oh She was like The original Cause she's from Adelaide She's an Adelaide girlie

Yeah And she was iconic So you would have Overlasted Yes We love passion I used to go and watch her and just,

I was a gog. Well, she's one of these other people similar to, to a Vanity where it's like, if she wants to do

perfection, she can do perfection. Yeah, she just chooses not to. She just, but she's like, happy to be like, you know,

yeah, get down in the gutter and be like, whatever the fuck is up with you cunts kind of thing, which is when the Adelaide comes out. But she's so good. Like, you know, yeah, get down in the gutter and be like, whatever the fuck is up with you cunts kind of thing. I love that. Which is when the Adelaide comes out.

But she's so good. And I think that, you know, she would be good in the bunker because she's also a seamstress. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, though, Vanity will be styling those bleach blonde bobs. It's true. She'll be doing the, what is it, Gail Weathers?

The micro bangs. The micro bangs. Yeah. She can really maintain those. That's quite an asset. She'll be doing the, what is it? Gale Weathers? The microbangs. The microbangs. Yeah. She can really maintain those. That's quite an asset. I guess as well, like Chef Miss J. Oh, camp.

She can cook. No vaping. No vaping. Melvin's like Miss J. There's a, I was going to say like in maybe like a twist of preservation, I put banana girl on the bunker, but she's kind of like celestial, like cousin off in the void.

Also you'd be forcing her to be in drag. Oh, because I think if we're hiring them as drag queen, they're never out of drag. So she would be sitting there in the dressing room next to whoopie Goldberg and like a Romaine. Yeah. Getting her makeup done.

No. Yes. No. Where do you sit on this issue? Oh, my God. Is there magic in the bunker or is there real things in the bunker? When we said that Bayonetta was in the bunker, what did that look like in your mind?

Interesting. That looked like a kind of like a two-dimensional projection, like a, you know, like an animation of Bayonetta. White Knight, where they project her on the side of walls? No, like, you know, I don't know if y'all are on the internet much. I don't know. But there was recently like a meme, and it was Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone 2, walking through the lobby of the plaza,

trying to find wherever he's going. Yeah. And the video game character comes forward. Someone's like, image them together. Like Madonna and gorillas. I haven't seen this. Gorillas? There's a video game character that comes towards Macaulay Culkin.

I'll have to find it and send it to you Well she's never seen Home Alone Yeah I don't know what What the fuck Or Home Alone 2 Lost in New York Which is the better of the two Lost in New York

Because it's got Tim Curry Tim Curry As the concierge Evil concierge Yes Yes indeed Oh that's good He's having

I don't know He's kind of more He's evil He's more meddlesome Really he's just trying to do his job. He's actually just good at his job. He's good at his job. Like, he's an unattended minor committing fraud.

Yeah. And so when we said we put Android 18 in the bunker, what did that look like to you? I wasn't even familiar with who that was. So I think what we're getting here is that evil's on my side. Yeah, I'm fortunately hearing that as well I have come to understand that there is no magic in the bunker According to who?

According to Lazy Susan I like this show, I like it I think the reality check here is that Lazy Susan has unknowingly split this podcast into a multiverse Like scenario where there are two parallel bunkers Lazy Susan has unknowingly split this podcast into a multiverse-like scenario where there are two parallel bunkers. And while we may agree on what goes in, my bunker is far more fun. Originally, I would have thought that anything would be possible in the bunker.

Yes. You'd be wrong. Yes. Ask Brandon Sanderson about rules and magic law. Sorry, go on. And then, yeah, I think L susan just really pushed her point that it had to be within the realm of possibility rebecca romaine getting makeup done every day she's burnt out but she's got a flake shake yeah i can't do this anymore i can't do this

conversation anymore who was rebecca romaine you See, because you're giving up. You could fight for your cause. It's because, look at her. See, I have a witness now. It gives me energy. On her face. Because, as I said before, she doesn't actually care. I care deeply. You just care about ruffling my feathers. I care deeply about the citizens of the bunker.

Oh, my God. She feeds off this energy, this chaos. Matt Shears, you have just the most disgusting view of me. I'm a kind... Yeah, he's looking out the window. Yeah, he's seeing you front. Oh, no. He's actually in another room.

We all have the same disgusting view of you. Okay. Which actually, by the way, getting these photos back from a photo shoot that i did recently the most disgusting view of me is when the photographer is lying down in the glass up at me and i look like a thumb with like a lash that's gotten stuck to it everyone looks bad from that angle it's fine we should show you these photos yeah um okay so i think it's got to be vanity yeah i think vanity vanity has the skills we need for this cult as well like she is hair base she could sell tupperware yeah do you think she's gonna be okay with the

passing of courtney act when courtney comes running up to the window at the door of the bunker. She's going to be having a day with Fran Drescher. She would be totally fine. Yeah. As long as she could... We don't have alcohol in the bunker at the moment. We have a bar. We have a bar, but it's not stocked.

Oh, shit. That was good. They're having the best night of their life. We should do... I feel like they could probably distill their own alcohol in the Tupperware. Yeah. Oh, true. With the pickling. That the Tupperware. Yeah. Oh, true. With the pickling.

That was forceful enough. Yeah. Okay. Get it together, Gwyneth. So Vanity. And this is also just like now we can put a pin in this for later in life when we finally have Vanity on this podcast. Wicks by Vanity.

Yeah. Perfect. Although she's notoriously hard to book when we tried to get her for kick-ons. And we're like, come. Even like just for kick-ons in the, like when she was in the room. Yeah. Yeah. She just wouldn't go.

She was like, no. It was after 9am. Yeah, she was like. She'd already had enough to drink. That's right. Anyway. Oh, she's so good. That's great. Queen's by Vanity

Lock it in In the bunker Oh wait sorry Matt We didn't ask you I don't think I Have anything No have a confident opinion Oh well

Baby Evel Oh actually I have to veto you on that Oh Sabrina Babyslot I would Probably

Babyslot's already in Yeah Is she in? She works in a reject shop Of course Yeah She's the manager Someone's got to keep

Courtney in line Yeah that's right She was the first And now Katy Perry works At the Wendy's part time Oh perfect Like but she thinks It's for the lead up to

An album launch But it's not It's the menu log thing But not actually Yeah Okay that's good That's good So Vanity launch, but it's not. It's the menu log thing, but not actually. Okay, that's good, that's good. So Vanity, second ever drag queen in the bunker. That's good.

Okay, lock it in, we'll take a break and then we'll come right back. Amazing. Okay. Okay. And we're back Hello With Eval Hi

It's I'm Do Does everyone get it? What? My name Evo A lot of people don't get it I don't like that

Hey I've known you for seven years And suddenly This makes sense What would your makeover drag girl girl be called um it depends eve if she's got a rump on her yeah x xl oh that's good um or her sister yeah bb bb bbl bb is great because it's a gal's name like bb newworth yeah and you know the hidden meaning bbl like a yeah yeah and you know evil bbl well it has my surname is l yeah it has to be what's the moon what's the what's your makeover challenge name i don't want them to have my name new moon no no they can be like Sofa Cushion.

Sofa Cushion? They're not having my name. No, it's for the show Drag Race. No, because then everyone will always be like, oh, like Nebraska is your sister. That's one bad egg. Ew. That's one bad example of it going wrong. Ew. There's no other version where there's like Arts and Craft Simone is running around being like, I'm craft Simone.

Wait, was hers craft Simone? Yeah. I think it's nice when, you know, the drag daughter doesn't have the family name and then they can flourish. And they can surpass their mother. This is like a person in a reality. You have never considered what your name would be. in a reality you have never considered yeah considered what your name would be like the name of your child on the show for one episode that's a fun pun using any moon you know jada wants to name her daughter persephone um but but that also yeah because

like my name's not a pun so like like, why would I put pun on that? No, it just has to be from the House of Moon. House of Moon. Yeah, maybe. Persephone Moon. That's great. Maybe it could be Link Moon. Okay.

Okay. What is going on in the bunker for the final bunkette? Evel. Oh, this is my turn. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I forgot. Okay, go on.

Sorry. I forgot we were in the same room. Finally, I get to have a say in something around yeah. Oh, my God. Okay, go on. Sorry, I forgot we were on the same page. Finally, I get to have a say in something around here. Oh, my God. All right. And, you know, knowing that we just had the giant stock take, so watch it because in 2020. Yeah, in 12 months we might kick it out.

Yeah. Okay, so everybody has a birthday, right? Not Mormons. Oh, well. No Jehovah's Witnesses Sorry Everybody in the bunker Because they're not invited into the bunker That's right

That's true That in itself That's a cult in itself So everyone has a bunker No We all have a bunker inside us Everyone has a birthday Yeah

And On that special day Once a year Judy Greer will bring out a birthday cake Which birthday cake Is going into the bunker Yes And it must be served by Judy Greer

That sounds good too Well she gets a free pass then Lucky I'm sneaking her in the back door I would have Judy Greer and her drag daughter Judy Greer. Well, of course you would

because your sister, Jennifer Garner, is best friends with Judy Greer. That's true. Jennifer Garner has friends? Come on. How do you think she survived that divorce?

Whatever. Jello's doing just fine. They're not. They're fine. They're fine jaylo and ben are having troubles and i can feel it oh don't say that her whole new album is about ben she didn't write any of that yeah but she inspired the lyrics you know so okay birthday judy greer time i mean she's crashing everything she's to be in the bunker. You know, she never gets to be the leading lady. And I think, you know, it should be her time. The bunker birthday babe.

Okay. Are you Googling Judy Greer? Obviously, I'm Googling Judy Greer. Say goodbye to these kitties. Oh, my God. It's the last time. Okay. So, my God. Yeah. It's the last time. Okay. So, birthday cakes.

Now, I will mention that there is already a pudding option, Sticky Day Pudding. I do love Sticky Day Pudding. Sorry, Sticky Day Pudding and Viennetta. Yes. Viennetta, delicious. But may I just trash talk Viennetta for one moment oh go off cheap nasty ice cream gross compound chocolate it's it's all marketing i just watched a documentary on it

and there's a documentary about viennetta well it's about ice creams in the united kingdom oh and you don't experience joy as you crack through the layers. Oh, that part is satisfying. Okay. Thank you. But, uh, so that is something separate. Yeah. It's not a birthday cake. They're different putty.

They're not for birthdays. Yeah. I also, sticky date is for weddings. Yeah. Oh, okay. To me.

Okay. To me. Um, or funerals. Jesus. Sticky date putty at the funeral. Okay. Okay. B day pud. me um or funerals jesus okay okay b-day pud b-day cake like a number three but it's a sponge cake and it has like pink frosting with sprinkles or whatever do you either of you have like a an iconic childhood birthday cake that's seared into your mind yes so like the obviously ubiquitous cole's mud cake

was a big fixture at my childhood birthdays but apart from that i'm not really okay so i'm not much of a cake girl i just think it's like so dense and rich and you've already been like suckling at the teat of birthday fare the entire time. So by the time it comes out, you're like, you know. So mom never had the Women's Weekly birthday cake. My mother was not what you would call a cook. A kook. She was a kook.

She wasn't a cook. She was an academic. So she was not, you know, she chose books, not cookbooks. My mom loves to bake and make pudding and all sorts. But she did have like all of those like crazy birthday cake books and whatever. She did have like all of those like crazy birthday cake books and whatever. There was one year where I like,

we then got to like start picking the cakes that mom would make. And there was one year where I can't remember the shape of it, but it was covered in these like little, like, like kind of like a jelly mold, I guess like that shape, but like tiny little like chewy jubes. Oh, yeah.

And they kind of like dotted the entire mound of cake. That's like, see it in my memory. Hmm. Yeah. What was that meant to be, sorry? Birthday cake. But what was it like? I want a lump cake.

Like, you know. I want the lump that's covered in smaller lumps. It's a nondescript shape cake. Yeah, you're like, I want the one that looks like coronavirus. Don't think it was in a particular shape. Yeah. I wonder if there's a photo of that. That's a weird pic for a kid, wouldn't you say? Well, I don't know.

I don't know. Hey, but it left an impression. Yeah. It did. But. What color were the lumps? Multicolor. Ooh.

Yeah. Kind of like... Tacky. What? What? Eva, what kind of cakes do you like? So growing up, my favorite that was ever made for me was the train cake from the Women's Weekly Cookbook.

Okay. So I'm familiar with this cake. And my poor mum, Because she was a nurse Came off night duty She was up all night making the cakes And everything It was my fifth birthday and no one came to the party It was just family

Eva, no Wait, you were five and you'd already alienated your peers? Well, I just think no one Could come, that was the story I was told I just had to drag it forward just think no one could come that was the story i was trying to drag it forward that sucks i thought that just happened in movies i was very upset that sucks oh yeah hence the anxiety disorder i'm glad we got amazing cake visually and it was even better with the salty tears. Wait, so family came there?

Oh, yeah, the family. That's good. Got to be there. And now it's the reverse. The family wouldn't come. God, that's good. But taste, taste's a big factor. Yes.

I know there's already the Viennetta ice cream cake. What about the Peter's birthday ice cream cake? The what about the peter's birthday ice cream cake so the multi-colored yes famously my parents octagonal kind of shape when they got married were getting married in on the coast of caloundra in queensland uh which is where my mother's mother was living at the time and they opted in the queensland heat for a wedding cake that was an ice cream cake wow and so just adding further insult to injury of i don't know embarrassing things that happened to my mother the the cake had pretty much entirely melted by the time it was time for people to it was just a single story-story ice cream cake. Oh, my God.

Yeah. She came in the bathroom. Two-door Toyota Corolla got out of the back there to, like, pop the chair, and she got out, and it looked like a fun party. There was a dog there with a tie on in the photos, so I was happy. Oh, my God. That's almost more tragic than no one coming to my back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

True. Maybe if they'd have the choo-choo cake things would have yeah i um have remembered another cake from my childhood growing up i loved you might have seen them at my brother's house because the kids have them now and i fear that they don't take care of them anyway um these like worm fluffy like worm toys that were like striped and they had like Fluffy head And it was like White and red White and green

White and yellow White and blue And I had these four worms Like That I was obsessed with And one of my birthday cakes Like had them drawn on it With pen?

No it was like icing Like icing Was it well done? It was good It was from There was a bakery in Rye where I grew up. What was that bakery called? Doesn't matter.

But we got it from there. Which means that, I don't know, my parents supplied them an image of these fucking plush toys that I had. Of these like fuzzy worms. My friend Nina, for her birthday one year, many moons ago, her father brought home... Drag daughter name. Many moons. Many moons. Many moons.

That's good. That's good. Many moons. Waning moons. Many moons. New moons. Blood moon. Blood moon.

Sorry to derail. No, that's fine. Like the choo-choo. Okay. So her father, he's a big Irishman, brought home a tiny little mud cake about the size of a coaster. And there was about 10 people at the birthday. Sorry about that, Eval.

And so we were all there. It was meant to be just a family dinner. And we're like, Joe, what the fuck is with this cake that you thought would serve 20 like 10 people and he's like it's very dense and we hung shit on him for the entire course of the meal for purchasing the most inappropriate birthday cake that was like and then we ate it and it was so dense. You really just needed the tiniest slice. Anyway, so then that began this tradition of every year, like up until now, Nina's birthday cake has sucked in a different way. Like this was the wrong size for a cake, but it didn't taste bad.

It was delicious. And then every year since, like the year later, her mom, who's this incredible cook who just can't do desserts, made this cake that was, like, just, it was the most disgusting thing. And we started eating it. And I was like, and everyone's kind of looking at each other. And then the next year she'd become vegan. And so someone, like, attempted another cake. become vegan and so someone like attempted another cake and it was like like every this is a new like variation and like the last year we were eating the cake and we were looking at each other

and i just like lost it because everyone's like well finally she's broken the curse and then we started eating and i was like i don't think we have it's's very good. Oh, my. So there's one cake that holds my highest esteem. I used to work at a place called Cob Lane, a cafe that's owned by- Cob Lane? Cob Lane. Owned by a British guy who was a British dessert chef who's very famous. Nigella Lawson?

Yes, he's Nigella Lawson. Okay. famous nigella lawson yes he's nigella lawson okay and nigel lawson and he had this carrot cake recipe that was like this insane carrot cake so good with like a delicious cream cheese icing that was like overwhelmingly cream cheese flavor anyway so good you can still get it in places around melbourne because they wholesale to other cafes but obviously like the the their public facing offering went bankrupt while i was working there and it was suddenly out of a job but um fuck yes i used to like if i see that in a shop i have to be in the fate of many hospital places that you've worked i think i don no longer exist yeah i have to sweep them under the rug oh my god yeah okay go on that no that's it there's that carrot the cob the cob laying carrot cake it's

like the most insane carrot cake you've ever had because of course the carrot cake the actual cake is just a vehicle for the frosting well right but i love that dense moist like not entirely sweet flavor like that to me is a perfect cake because saccharin when it's like cloying on the yeah i can't deal that interesting because i i didn't think you were that girl i don't like your carrot cake girly i love carrot cake zucchini cake flourless orange cake with poppy seed i love that reminds me, when we were doing the 7-Eleven offering, my friend who listens to the podcast was like,

how did you not shut up the orange poppy seed muffin from 7-Eleven? Oh, that is good. So juicy. He was like, there's nothing else. The other muffins don't make sense. Just the orange poppy seed is like iconic and delicious. So I went and had it. It was veryins don't make sense. Just the orange poppet seed is iconic and delicious. So I went and had it. It was very good

but too sweet. They just dump syrup on it. Oh, come on. Have a bit of fun. What about cakes with people inside? I like that. Jumping out of the cake. Happy birthday. I really want to do that. Oh my god. What if Holly and Bridget out of the cake Happy birthday Yeah I really want to do that Oh my god

What if Holly and Bridget were in the cake? What if that What about when you cut it open There's sprinkles inside What about dolls? Dolls Doll cake It's called a Dolly Varden

I'm sorry? Tuna Monet? That style of cake A Dolly Varden? Dolly Varden cake. That's my drag daughter. It's where there's the Barbie doll jammed in the cake shaped like the skirt of a dress. Which is like, I hate that you can't eat the doll.

Yeah. You could. That's right. That's what they put in the age. Yeah. Famous drag queen dies from eating dolls famous famous drag queen fine drag queen dies queen

but i do yeah i think the cheat of like just putting like a like mini micro on a cake it's like make it out of sugar or don't well racing cars putting hot wheels cars on you didn't do shit like a you know when you're turning eight yeah have the race track shaped like an eight and then putting cars on it that's a cheap you just yeah unless those cars are edible then they like it's like when they did the willy wonka movies and you're like most of this set is edible and i'm like either all or nothing honey just like do it or don't um i'm just having a thought i'm just gonna say it out loud now because it's come to mind perhaps i guess you've just

described talking i think that i may have found something here when i said that you weren't famous enough to be in the age that really got under your skin didn't it yeah and this whole thing about the bunker not being any fun is just you so if i say that you get in the age can we have a fun bunker i think there's nothing funner than um like rules okay well we're back on this well i just think it's like i don't know if you've ever played like a board game or a video game or something but like say you started zelda and then you could immediately just have everything have unlimited health have all the weapons suddenly the challenge of it is gone isn't it What you're describing does not apply because that's not how it works. Because we're still selecting the things.

Yeah, but the struggle, the intrigue, the figuring out how to make it work. So you think that you are a celestial god? Yeah. Next question. Okay. I'll see. I'm sure you had to be here for this either. I can't deal with this hypocrite

Hypocrite? Back on your magic shit We don't talk about those turf creatures here Okay, okay, okay Okay Just a thought, just a thought No, it wasn't the age It wasn't the age

It just means I have to delay my death longer than I'd hoped Okay, back on topic When will I know the sweet relief? I wasn't any age. It just means I have to delay my death longer than I'd hoped. Okay. Back on topic. Back on topic. My favorite type of cake, though, is cheesecake. Yeah. Delicious. I've grown out of my cheesecake years.

It's too much. I fucking love cheesecake. It's too much. Just have less. Chocolate marbled cheesecake. We used to have cake day in the office at my old job and because they basically office culture realized that they couldn't do cakes for everyone because every day would be someone's birthday if the office was big enough so they were like we're gonna do cake day once a month

and then just read rapid fire a list of whose birthday it was that month so essentially just taking all the magic out of celebrating your co-workers birthdays which is what you like to do i wanted something special for me so well yeah fun cake in a box but they bring in all the different types of cake and so it's like i've sampled the delights of the world but But to me, none of them are like, cheesecake in particular. It just, cheesecake is so overexposed at the moment in the marketplace. The cheesecake shop, I just think it's too much. Okay.

We've done too much. So what, you want sponge? You know, they're rebranding. Are they? The cheesecake shop. What's it called now? It's still the cheesecake shop. But they're just changing the green to a lighter green. Lighter green.

That green's pretty intense. The shops are ugly. Yeah. They are ugly. It's going to be a lighter, like a, you know, like a limey, like a key lime green. Oh, I can't see that going well for them. What do you know? Brunetti's has that gorgeous red and gold.

It's like quite a rich red, like a crimson. No, like it's not crimson. It's deeper than that. Do you know what I desire more than anything is one of those gorgeous retro cakes that have become very famous recently. You know where they have the like heart shape and they like have the double stack and they have the gorgeous like. The ribbon piped around. Yeah. The ruffles.

Yes. And they have cherries on the peaks of each of the icing mounds. And then it says like, happy birthday. That's my dream just for the look. Or you can even get like dirty messages on them now. Yeah. You stupid little cunt. What do you think about like the chocolate plaque that has the things on it

And then they just sit that on the cake I'm not a fan I don't like that I like to eat it though It's not nice tasting chocolate You hate the compound chocolate We're not one for that No

What about the Santa Claus, chocolate Santas Have you had any of those in Christmas? Maybe not Is it compound chocolate Yeah they're the most Like compound chocolate They're like the red tulip Of them

Yeah I just I mean like What about cakes That like You know that woman That does cakes That look like other things

Which I love the artistry of it But I'm like Is it cake Yeah well she She got ripped off by Cake or fake No cake or I don it But I'm like Is it cake? Yeah well she She got ripped off by Cake or fake No cake or I don't know real or cake

Is it cake? Is it cake? Is it delicious? Maybe On these people's birthday Judy Greer should take them in the bait bus And do like a special round of Is it cake?

But they're like being baited Yes The cake bait It's a sexy woman or is it cake? they're like being baited the cake bait they have to fuck the twink what? the gremlin twink you know what I love though cupcakes that's a great time individuality and like so easy to grab

my friend Nikita though her dream for her wedding like the reception is to just have a big cheese wheel And have like a massive charcuterie board And that to me is a dream I love Going to The zoo

At a fringe festival And going to that place That serves the gnocchi That is cooked in the cheese wheel Which we found out this year They don't Well this year they don't well last year that they don't actually cook it in that wheel i know it's a lie but still the fantasy is real yeah have you seen that stall at the garden of unholy delights they're going out

of business now yeah fuck well no they just have a steel bowl inside that giant parmesan cheese another food establishment that you've sunk well tacos and tortas you know I was speaking to Kurjan and he was like oh we're catching up with these people do you want to go to

tacos and tortas and I was like well you don't even listen to the pod and then I had to be like we don't go to tacos and tortas not since I've

blacklisted them I don't even know if they're still open I think they might be. Well, it wasn't reported in The Age that they died. Yeah. Maybe that's how you get in The Age, become a food critic. Well, it's definitely going to be easier than becoming a famous drag queen.

You're quite critical. What's that? You're quite critical What's that? Do you think there's still going to be more famous drag queens to come in the world? I think we've maxed out Who was the last big famous drag queen to appear? Was it MIB? Mistress Isabel Brooks?

Oh, I was in the cold page. Was it Sasha Colby, I guess? No, because Sasha was already... She was already famous in Drag Circles, but she's really having a moment in the mainstream. Was it Carmen Farada? Carmen. She's kind of got a bit quiet.

Where is she? She has a bit. I'll be honest Yeah I struggle to keep up now No for sure I'm not keeping up With everything

There's not enough time Of the day You could put me in a room With a bunch of drag queens Yeah And they're like I was from this season And all this

And I'd be like Okay That's the fear That's the fear I'm dropping the ocean Well I was on this podcast Yeah yeah yeah Well I'd say

You'd get more famous From this What can I say But that is like I feel like now It's more in the category Of like the ocean well i was on this podcast yeah yeah well that's it you get more famous from this what can i say but that is like that i feel like now it's more in the category of like if you were on a season of like blow blow out or whatever or is it cake it's like i was on that show and it's like okay yeah okay that might be a good idea though just go to DragCon LA and be like I was on season 4 of RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under And they're like yeehaw Yeah okay I actually won

So you're a racist I'm not that one Or that one Or that one Or the other one So you went to DragCon Have you just been once? I've been twice

What's the vibe? It's incredible It's so good It's massive And just lanes and lanes of stores Lots of lines though Yeah The lines are massive

But it is next level Did you do LA and New York? Just LA Twice Yeah, once and then two years later And did you go and do a stall? Or were you just part of a Oh no, I was there.

Just there as a guest? Just wandered around. I managed to go with someone with a media pass. Oh, my God. So there was an ulterior motive. Amazing. And did you meet folks? Yeah.

Who was good? We skipped a lot of lines. We were like, media pass here. Who was good? I don't really recall. Did you go in drag or? I did the second time Yeah

And yeah, it's a long day to be in drag And then we went out after I don't know how people go out after cons It's such a full day And then you're like, why am I drinking? Where did you go out? Something, red line Did you suck anyone's dick?

Many dicks Really? No Oh boy No Oh And maybe that Nothing exciting like that

Hmm Hmm Okay Wow Wow Okay Cake What birthday cake?

Yeah See Hmm Hmm So no cheesecake I also want a Vito sponge I just think that that texture Yeah

It's like eating a sponge Boring I'm back into flan Is that a Flan I had a really good flan With a glaze On top

Like clear glaze Yeah that's fun Have you ever had a birthday for a moribund pudding? No, actually, I went to Miss Jandrews, Melbourne Drag Queen Jandrews. Flandrews. Flandrews. Flandrews. And she had a flan served.

Actually, no, we were at an Italian restaurant, and they said it was a group of 25. This was the thing I was at. Were you there? What? Yeah you were there Oh my god How are you describing this story without me?

I was like yeah tell me more Wait This is quite familiar There was a plan? No and so then they were like Okay so we can do Like we're gonna bring out It was tiramisu or panna cotta

We're gonna bring out Tiramisu or panna cotta We're gonna bring out Tiramisu or panna cotta We've got half and half And it was like Well why did you do that? Because everyone wanted the tiramisu Everyone wanted the tiramisu But it was like weird

That they were like Treating it like we were in a school canteen And they were like We've got half and half And it's like Well you could have just made more tiramisu Me love Like what are you doing?

So that was weird But it did give me a chance to re-meet my friend flan yeah and i liked her very much i and that was a birthday plan the two puddies that night i think the the plan was the plan yeah yeah the plan was the plan okay so what are we doing what What's happening? So we're We're vetoing sponge We're vetoing Cheesecake Cheesecake

I'm happy to say that flan is probably not You're not putting a candle in flan I think No One of the keys to a birthday cake Is that you need to be able to put a candle in it Yeah I kind of

You know what I'm feeling Miss Eval Is specifically The The Sad Choo choo train Cake

But it has to be made By your mother In the bunker Late at night That's cute Like I think that that Is what I want And then she gives it off to Judy Greer

And goes back and Yeah You know That's good Also a nurse And then it gets Well gets my mum And then she gives it off to Judy Greer and goes back and, you know. That's good. Also a nurse. And then gets my mum and a nurse in the bunker. And Judy Greer. And Judy Greer.

Yeah. But then you've got to be careful. You've got to watch my mother. She's going to try and sneak that Pentecostal Christianism into the bunker. And then, you know, she'll work on it. As punishment, she has to wear the white wig. Do you think she would go off in the... The cult's not welcome.

The cult is not welcome here just the cult of avril lavigne um do you think that she would enjoy the bar where women are having the best nights of their lives no she'll have she'll have like a couple of um fluffy ducks or like a midori what's a fluffy duck um what's in a fluffy duck? Something called Advocat. And then Advocat. Is it pineapple? I don't know. I don't know how to make it. But trust me, she knows how to make it.

And she can make it in the bunker if you want. That's right. Well, it might be the first alcohol we have. We'll check back in on that one later. Okay, what's your mother's name if you were to get a share? Oh, she's going to kill me. Nikki. Okay, so we're getting Nikki.

Dear old Nikki. Okay, this is my pitch. I think we have dear old Nikki in the bunker, and she specifically is not allowed to start baking until two in the morning. Yeah. And she does have to work at 12. Once she's finished her shift at the hospital. She just has to work.

So we do need to have a tiny hospital for her to work in. I think it's about time we, you know, put in a wing. Yeah. Just a wing Sick bay Sick bay Yeah sick bay And if anyone's feeling a bit off

They can go and lay down Yeah and she has to do A 12 hour Supervising that And she works 7 days a week Well I mean Assuming that there's going to be People's birthdays most days

True I don't know what calendar system We're putting in the bunker Good point Not the Gregorian Just do the Once a month cake day No we're not doing that It not the gregorian just do the once a month cake day no we're not doing that it was so sad oh why it was nice you don't even know how bleak this once

once a month cake day was it was just it's so impersonal and you'd be eating the cake and someone would be like yeah it was my birthday they're like We are great Thanks for the cake Oh my god Oh my Yeah You felt more like a little like Like factory farm chicken Than you ever do It's like

Happy birthday Okay Quick story When I worked at Paul Louie Chinese Matt don't laugh when I say that When I worked at Paul Louie Chinese restaurant

Wait slow down What did you just say? What? Paul Louie Paul Louie's Chinese restaurant. Wait, slow down. What did you just say? What? Paul Louie's? Paul Louie's Chinese restaurant. Yeah. When I was growing up, there was a guy who worked in the kitchen and he had a... He'd hope so.

Then he had a second job of air conditioner maintenance. Not the overlap I'd like. And he told me a story once about when he went to like a ingham chicken farm and because they're in these like huge like murdered den sheds and they're all like have air con i guess or like some kind of cooling heating system yeah and he had to go and maintain them every now and then. And to get to like the scaffolding, to climb up, to get to the thing, like you'd open the door and you just had to walk. Yeah.

And crush the chicks and chickens under your feet. Oh my God. Because there were just so many animals in that place. Like they don't, there's no room for them to move aside for you to walk. And you just had to like walk through. Like being in an Evanescence concert. Yeah. And you like have to walk through and just footsteps of death.

Can't he slide? He never slid his foot? Yeah, he shuffled. I don't know. It was not my story. If only I'd been there, I could have told him. He was like sliding. Then I'd only have to crush once and then I'd just move him around.

So fucked up. That's, yeah, really sad. Okay, but train birthday cake. That's great. Yeah. Now, there are multiple carriages on the train. Are they all the same cake? Oh, so what was it when you had it?

I want that cake. Filthy filthy disgusting sponge cake well because i want it to be as in like the cake yeah your mother it can be that yeah i think it has to be as it was the day that your dreams and hopes died and you developed more of a general anxiety yeah and there's little you know little piles of popcorn in each carriage is there as the coal um and yeah little biscuits as the wheels incredible that's fun popcorn your mother was popping corn at three in the morning yeah while you were asleep you know bed yeah i love I love it. Oh, my gosh. Amazing. Oh, my gosh.

Okay. Oh, what a little cavalcade of joy going into the bunker this week. And so we have the cult is going to be the family from the hills. Yep. With? With some gorgeous bleak blonde bobs. And? And?

Tupperware. Tupperware. For beetroots or people's beets? Faces. Oh, faces. Yeah. And then? Vanity.

Vanity. Vanity to maintain the hair styling. The wigs. The wigs. And I'm sure, you know what? Do you think Vanity and your mother would be friends? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Vanity and Nikki having a fluffy duck together. At 100%. At 10 in the morning. After she's off cake shift in sickbay vanity would be using the sickbay just for a cheeky lie down they have to kick her off to get someone with a broken leg in vanity you can't stay here she might have injured herself again that's true yeah vanity's in but it's only when she got the hand injury oh i love that the wigs are a little bit lopsided yeah that's fine um and then yeah a birthday cake the choo

choo birthday cake that eval was served on her fifth birthday yeah yeah made by nikki late at night served by judy greer yeah served by judy greer because it's the last time and i think like that nikki and judy greer probably become quite close oh yeah yeah okay and now eval i now finally get to put something in the bunker one unadulterated thing which after you've already forced judy greer and your mother my mother anything else dear I just love that Nikki is the first, like, just civilian woman that is just there. She's seen some shit. Yeah, I love a Pentecostal gal who's a nurse. All right.

I have, there are two things. So I feel like maybe I'll let you decide. Oh, I love deciding. Well, we always think the same, so that's good. Since I've forced these things on you already. Yeah. Are you familiar with a band called R.E.M.? Yes.

Yes. They have a song. Life. Sorry, go. Oh, life. No, that's somebody else. You go, you go. They have a song called It's the End of the World.

Yeah. You know it? Yeah. Yeah. Monkey rip-off face. Exactly. I would love for there to be a burnt CD of just that song. Here's to you.

Playing off of a boom box that's connected to the intercom by an AUX cord. In Oprah's room. In Oprah's suite. Yeah. She probably has to hit repeat every now and then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it'll only play in the stairwells and the elevators. Oh, good.

Just a bit of ambiance. Yeah. The other option for you is a portable DVD player, probably about 10 inches. But it is jammed. The only DVD that is playable in there is Rat Race. Oh, my God. The only DVD that is playable in there is Rat Race. Oh, my God.

That's so good. Okay. I love Rat Race. So that song feels like there are certain songs that make me feel like I'm having a stroke. That would be one of them. You often have a stroke. Just like completely dread of like, I don't know if you're saying that song because you have affection for it,

but it's like the dread of like, like an unambitious life. And you're like, you know, like it's a song that they played towards the end of like a 21st or a marriage or something. It's like this Bogan celebration. You've had to hear like the Grease mega mix. And then that song plays later

and like the couples who have been together for 30 years are like kissing on the dance floor and they go home and they like watch their taped episode of Survivor before they go to bed. It's just awful. Lacey, is that the song that was playing at the end of your parents' wedding after the cake melted? I'm sure. I'm sure.

No, I think it would have been Bruce Springsteen wall to wall, so they were safe. I can see. Songs like that, you know, the genre. Do you know? Yeah. That's a good song. It's a pretty upbeat song.

Yeah, but like. If you're thinking about the end of times. Well, here's my reservation on the, in the HBO Max or, sorry, just Max. In the like faux prestige television series of The Bunker, like if you were going to make that, they would have a needle drop where it's the end of the world, as we know it would be playing in the elevator and my fear is that it's like yeah it does feel like a television series it's like

yeah and so it feels a little bit too like on the nose whereas i think there's something very like eerie about coming across a just jammed portable dvd player maybe 10 inches playing the rat race menu in a hallway and then like it just you see it sometimes and sometimes you press play and it's very at various points in the movie that doesn't feel like it's trying to tell me anything about the the narrative of the bunker it just feels deeply like um unsettling surrealist like it's just like what is that why is that and it does have a lot to say about you know the end of the world and america what's rat race we've spoken about rat race is it the car one no i don spoken about car No, I don't remember

We've spoken about car Yeah, but I still Which one is it? It's an iconic movie starring John Cleese Kathy Najimy Oh, okay Yeah, that's coming back

Whoopi Goldberg Wait, are they in a car chase? Around the world They're driving across America Vegas to New Mexico Yeah From Paris to Berlin If you're not going to listen to it

I'm going to explain it I'm trying Essentially there's a bunch of people that are staying In a hotel casino And they all get roped into Competing in this eccentric Billionaires Folly to race

Across the country to get to this Money first But hilarity ensues. Hilarity does ensue. How many people are in each car? Well, there's two to five. Four. John Lovett.

Can't they go to like a haunted house and win the money that way? Stop rewriting things. And it's called Rat Mansion. Are you thinking of Mouse Hunt? I don't know what you say I'm so sorry Eval that you've had to live through this Oh my god Rat Race, you should watch Rat Race because Yeah I could do that

Yeah it's a great show Kathy Najimy Kathy Najimy having a good time And Kathy Bates Kathy Bates makes a cameo Oh, yeah And Smash Mouth Smash Mouth, isn't it?

Oh, no Somebody once told me the world was gonna Would that play at that wedding? We've done Shrek too much tonight That would play at a Bogan wedding Yeah I think Smash Mouth is And Seth Green, isn't it?

Seth Green, isn't it? He is Oh, my God Well, I'll see it for Seth Green And the other guy Zelda would love The guy with the tongue piercing Yeah She would think he was very hot

It's a stereotype Who is it I'm going to look it up right now Yeah Who is It's a guy with a tongue piercing And rat race Rat race

Type that down I don't know Who says things Yeah so that's a perfect film And yeah I do I always coveted my friend's Portable DVD player. I used to think that was such a cool thing.

Oh, he's so hot. Oh, and he's next to Seth Green in this photo. That's hot. They're traveling together. They're gay. They're brothers, I think. Yeah. Can't have it all.

All. Maybe you're into that. Hmm. Um, I think, yeah. What is it like? Uh, what kind of DVD player? A portable one, 10 inches Maybe 10 inches How much more specific can that be? No, no, no, I'm thinking like color scheme

They're always kind of like a silver color Yeah, you really can't get much variety, I'm afraid Yeah, yeah Yeah, cool Good, not that REM And, you know, you have to be careful as well because if you pick it up or you tip it, the disc will kind of skim and it'll be like...

Oh, that sound. And you know that it's a scratching sound on the inside, like on my PS2. I always wanted to go to Big Brother just to win a PS2. And now it's like you feel bad for those people. That's all they got. They gave away their dignity for an outdated console. Okay, well, Miss E-Bell, what a fucking commotion.

What a fabulous time. It's quite refreshing having someone on the pod who's intimately familiar with me. Yeah, it's far too intimately familiar. Great. I've never listened before in my life. It's been an absolute treat. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much.

And please come join us again sometime. Thank you. We have your mother. We're not giving her back. Give her back to me. And so you can find Miss Eve L on her Instagram, I assume somewhere like that. TikTok, do you do that?

I'm not very good at that. Okay, good. Stay away from the TikTok. Okay, well. Incredible. Thank you so much. Ciao. For now.

For now, but not forever. Could you give me your best... Oh, that's quite good. I've seen that. She's got a future in Snatch Game. Okay. Adios, mi amor. It's time to go.

Bye. Death Day of Run was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears. Our themes and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. If you want to say something, do so at deathdayofrunpod at gmail.com. Won't you support us, please, at patreon.com slash death to everyone. at gmail.com won't you support us please at patreon.com slash death to everyone goodbye