Death To Everyone - Death To... Everyone *SPECIAL EDITION BUNKER STOCKTAKE*

Episode Date: January 2, 2024

Happy New Year! It's time for a stocktake. In this episode the celestial goddesses review the contents of the bunker and decide what needs to be thrown out. Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠���⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 Turn to everyone! 🎵 🎵 Christmas William 🎵 And especially today. Happy New Year, sister. Well, in it. How are you, darling? It's Sulaing Yor for the first time this year.

Sulang Yor to you. Sulang Yor to you. And Abba Legda to you and your family. What a time. Yes. Oh, we're past it all. Christmas, fabulous. New Year's, fabulous.

And for those of you who thought this podcast was never going to last, that we weren't going to make it into the new year. We'll step on your graves first. Wait, what? Yeah. Well, no, that's what I said. Oh, good. Or if you've seen Saltburn, we'll fuck your graves first. No, I haven't seen it. Oh, well, pretend you didn't hear that. Oh, God. Okay, so my name is Lazy Susan. And I'm Zelda Moon. Still. And it is 2024 and this is Death to Everyone. Welcome! Now, you don't know this, but we know this because it is the beginning of an annual tradition. So it is the new year, and with the new year it comes responsibility.

So typically on this show, Death to Everyone, if this is your first time listening, we, two celestial beings from out in space. Beautiful celestial beings. Pick and choose from the bounty of human existence and the earth. And we say, I'll have that. I'll have that. What will be going in our bunker for the end of time after the apocalypse? That is what we normally do. We've made a very good job of it since July. Yes, thank you.

In our previous 22 episodes. Yeah. Oh, 22. Yeah, 22, 22, Yeah. Oh, 22. Yeah, 22, 22, 22, 22, 22. 21. We've done it. No, 2021. Yeah.

21 episodes. We've added a lot of things to the bunker, three things each week generally. And now the time has come for stock take. It's time for stock take. We need to review what we've put in. And you know what? Some things aren't pulling their weight, darling.

Yeah, what is a system without strict counterbalances? Some things have really snuck in. Yeah. So it is our job now this week to just give you a quick rundown of everything that was added to the bunker, and then quickly decide what thing we're going to take out from categories.

Yeah. Because category will be objects, second category will be people and for the third category dear listener well it's a special one you may have noticed across the year that we've had some special guests join us now one of them is in the bunker already sabrina baby slaput. The rest are not in the bunker. No. Benign Girl kind of lives in an existence of Celestial being status. She's the only other Celestial being. You know what?

She quit that job. She did. So, I don't know how we feel about that. But for the third topic tonight, we'll either kick Baby Slut out or we'll put one of our other guests in. Yes. Which I think is quite generous, but we'll put one of our other guests in years which i think is quite generous but we'll see how we go now we uh also have a tradition here sister where you and i we play you know like ping pong or

something and decide the apocalypse for the week i suppose there's no apocalypse this week in a way but i thought just for fun We're going to pretend there's an apocalypse And Matt's going to tell us what it is Oh Me For the first apocalypse of the year Yeah I'm just here in the booth

Uh-uh Not this time Riding the dials and the wheels Oh Matt, you're too much You're a wiki-wiki in there, aren't you? That's right I'm kind of like the puppet master behind the celestial gods, aren't I? Sound technician.

That's right. That's correct. So, Matt. So, I get to decide what the apocalypse is in a fake way, though? No, because we still have a bunker, so the world still needs to end. And in fact, the things that we kick out will be the ones to suffer the fate of your choosing. The ones that are consumed by, yeah. Yeah.

So, what is it? Well, there you go. Well, what have we had so far? No, no, no. Come on back. No, I just thought because this is a review. A bit devious. We should go over what we've already had.

But last week, was it last week or the week before, we were talking about my fear of bugs. Oh, yes. Yeah, I would want the apocalypse to be quite scary for me in my mind. Everyone wants that. So maybe there's just like just bugs take over. You know, God actually had this idea, didn't he? Yeah, the locusts. Yeah, you and God. So I like that. What kind of

bugs? All of them? Are they regular sized? Just crawling bugs only. Oh, actually no, some flying ones. You'd think the flying would be the main fear part. Yeah, I guess so, maybe. Yeah, the ones that swarm. Do arachnids get a little piece of the pie? Not spindly spiders, not like thin. They have long legs. Yeah, the ones that swarm. Do arachnids get a little piece of the pie? Not spindly spiders, not like thin. They have long legs. Yeah, not ones that have like a delicate looking, just big tubular. Tarantulas.

Yeah, the ones that are furry. Huntsmans. Yeah, or have like bulbous sacks on their back. And now are these insects flying arachnids, are Gigantic size or are they normal size Well I think eventually they become Gigantic yeah And just grow bigger and bigger And then just eat all the crops

And eat all the people all the animals They just start to and then it's just like Eventually it would just be a big Bowl of like writhing insects That's good In the end it's just a writhing insects. That's good. That's scary. In the end, it's just a writhing bowl of insects. And will there be ladybugs in that or what?

Yeah, what about the nice insects? What about the ones we like? Butterflies, are they part of the bugabuglets? No, just, yeah, no. All the nice ones that have bright colors and stuff will get eaten pretty quickly. Oh, they die too. Yeah.

That's fair. I think like moths, you know, like big fat moths. The ones that fly around like idiots. Yeah, they bash into stuff. I love moths. You know, ones that just like kind of just like bash into the walls. Oh, I hate the thick sound of their body. Yeah, not the delicate bugs.

Definitely no delicate bugs, no spindly spiders. What about stick insect? You really made delicate bugs, no spindly spiders. What about stick insect? You've really made a point of excluding spindly spiders. Well, they're just not scary. You know, none of those bugs are scary. Well, you know what? They are not scary because in my new house, there are so many dadalongnags.

I basically roll over in bed and kiss a dadalongnags before I go to sleep. They are just like right next to the bed and I don't care. What are they going to do to me? Nothing. I go, good night, and then I turn off the light. Plus in the second Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, they make friends with the Daddy Long Legs.

Much like they did with Auntie in the first film. It does feel like we're retreading things, but I like Daddy Long Legs. Auntie. Auntie, the aunt. That's so good. I didn't remember that name. Oh, it's so good. I love remember that name Oh it's so good I love Honey I Shrunk the Kids

Okay so insect Death Yeah a lot of centipedes Anything Anything that pops when you squash it Or has juice That comes out Okay Matt that's enough out of you

We opened Pandora's box and now we regret it. We get it. Okay, I've described it enough. Yeah. Normally we just used to Zelda being like, what if I was a big lady? Well, I was trying to get a big insect out of him when we got there, so that's that.

Big insects defeats the purpose of what's scary about insects. It's about a mass of life. Yeah, like that's the multitude of small things taking over. That's scarier. Like ants in the Amazon. Yeah. That is foul. Well, I'm glad that I can make a really foul one for the first one of the year.

Three times the mass of human beings on this planet is made up of ants. Yeah, that's crazy. That's mass. Not like one ant to one person. That's like the weight of one person in ants. that's crazy that's mass not like one ant to one person that's like the weight of one person in ants that's amazing yeah if they figured that out we would be gone yeah yeah they don't know they know they don't give a shit they're like you stay out of our business we'll stay out of yours but we don't that's the thing unless you leave a sweet treat on the counter then we'll come and make it i don't think ants know where the cause of global warming.

That's what I'm saying. If they figured it out, they would just. How do they find sweet treats? They smell them. Yeah, that's amazing. Through walls? Well, no, they don't smell them. I think they just send out like.

They're just constantly searching. Yeah. And then once one finds it, they send up this pheromone. I really understand that desire for a sweet drink. You are kind of ant-coded. Because they find it and they'll sip it up.

She's like, auntie. You could be auntie. In another life. Yeah, Rihanna, auntie. Okay. Rihanna? Didn't she have... Ants? Auntie. Her album Oh my god Okay

Okay, well that's great, thanks man Alright Thanks man How was your New Year's? Yeah, it was good I went to bed at about 7.30 Oh, you're crazy In the morning

From Paris to Berlin Yeah, recently I was up At about From about 2 till 4.30 in the morning And I was just thinking Like it was the same weekend as Meredith Music Festival And I was just imagining

All the times that I was at Meredith And how like I'm still up at that time but I'm just Carrying a baby instead. Yeah. Life to be like that. Babies. Wait, do you think you have another festival life in you at some point?

Yeah, I would love to be one of those like parents that take their kids to festivals. You'd like to be a negligent parent? Yeah, take them, put their little earmuffs on them. Little earmuffs on. Let them sleep in the little trolley while we. Trolley? Have some, you know, like they wheel their kids around in little carts. I've never been to a festival like that.

I've never been to a festival. How many? Been to Big Day Out. Does that count? No. Okay. Then no, I guess. These are like week long.

Yeah, no, that's my. Camping. I love camping, but I also don't like being near other people. So maybe that's my issue. Right. Right. Okay. Okay.

It's now time to move into the stock take. We do have a lot of work to do. You have a lot of experience with stock take. Yes. So I just make up the numbers when I did stock take. Oh my God. Okay. Let's have a quick break and then let's get into some fun okay stock take brb

okay we're back so hello first thing on the agenda is object objects what object is going to be subjected to tubular insects on the outside okay now i'm just going to rattle off some objects real quick okay and you feel fit to pipe in as well yeah um okay first some objects we've got tomato sauce sachet this is from episode one yeah we got fries and strawberry thick shake yeah and a tomato sauce sachet we've got kellogg's crunchy nut we've got a bag of anthrax we've got a halberd we've got nail clippers courtesy of banana girl we've got kellogg's crunchy nut we've got a bag of anthrax we've got a halberd we've got nail clippers courtesy of banana girl we've got the big dog the kickbot 5000 we've got dino riders toys we've got the sound wand we've got oat milk we've got four halloween costumes

we've got the board game jumanji The four Halloween costumes are Witch, Mummy, Frankenstein and Vampire Just to clarify Frankenstein's monster Yeah We've got a crystal coffin Which of course has Has a woman playing Snow White in it

Yeah, has Snow White in it Let me say the same thing We've got Carrie Fisher's skeleton That's an object of sorts There's no white in it. Let me say the same thing. We've got Carrie Fisher's skeleton. That's an object of sorts. What other objects? What other objects? I've got a kettle, of course.

We've got a SodaStream machine. The bait does? Yeah, I suppose that's an object. I've got it under vehicles, but, you know, get loose. Are vehicles not objects now? Yeah, but, like, vehicles not objects now? Yeah, but like I've... Like, why not go deeper? Okay. But we're like...

So then I guess we've got the Jurassic Park Jeep, which also when you take the decals off, that's... Lorelei Gilmore's Jeep. Yeah. Lorelei. How else is she going to get Rory to Chilton Academy? Which no longer exists because it's filled with bugs. Oh, my God.

Paris Geller's going to hate that. We have that fucking terrifying puppet from your childhood. Joe. Don't name it. We have Crunchy. Crunchy. Oh, the bar. Delicious.

That was a great choice from us. Is that your favorite? Yeah, favorite size. Oh. We've got a clip-in ponytail that's 42 inches long, courtesy of Sabrina Babyslot, of course. We have a framed photo of Lacey Susan's father, signed, of course. Mr. Garner.

Yeah, so many objects. Yes, yes, yes. And which one of them just isn't doing it? Okay, so I have a pitch. Okay. I think Kettle was rushed in. Oh, it just isn't doing it. Okay, so I have a pitch. Okay. I think kettle was rushed in. Oh, kettle. I just have never felt right about kettle as the appliance in the bunker.

This is from the episode where we discussed kitchen appliances. And I know we just, okay, I haven't got this yet. Uh-huh. But if I ever have it, an ice machine. Ooh. I love ice water so much. You do. And I just...

I like ice. You like ice? We can't have a party without ice. I just think having readily available ice is the... Like, that is like, you know, if we do all die as an effective globalization, industrialization, global warming, if I can just have ice in a little box prepared for me without me doing shit day or night, maybe it was worth it. You're not wrong. Ice. So, I don't know, but like, we're not, I mean, like, this is.

Oh, my God. When I was growing up, I used to, I love, I still love grapes. Just green grapes, not red ones with the seed in it, please. What is with that seed? Like. What is with that seed? Can the farmers get on that? They've taken seeds out of everything else.

Right? Because, like, I love the globe, you love. Yes. Like, I'm like, from the outside, I'm like, am I in Pan's Labyrinth? Who am I? Yeah. But then I'm like. Yeah. And, I'm like, am I in Pan's Labyrinth? Who am I? Yeah. But then I'm like. Yeah.

And you want me to do this a hundred times? No, baby. Because like a pit is bad enough, but at least there's one. Yeah. You want me to have that experience over and over again? Every grape. Get real. Absolutely not.

So green grapes, far superior. What do you think about people freezing grapes? Well, that's what I was going to say. So I used to, in the ice tray, put one grape in each tray and then i would fill it up with water and then i would have grape ice cubes and then when i would suck on the grape on a hot summer's day it was like ice cube and then i would have a you know sweet little grape treat that would be kind of shriveled and prunish on the inside but yeah yeah. And would your friends who were hanging out with you on that day, would they also have a grape tree?

Well, that's quite a cruel question because you've set up a scenario that never happened. Would your mom have one? I wonder if they remember that. Are you forced her to play Jurassic Park with you? Go on. Have another jab. Have another grape Oh my god

Cause there's 12 of them there for you Cause no one's gonna eat them with you We are going to have my mother on the podcast very soon This is the year of the parents Yeah, yeah, yeah My mom, your dad I think we could do your dad as well Yeah, I wonder

Everyone wants to do your dad. Oh, my God. We can't do my mom because she's dead. Sorry, just before you asked, Elder. But I'm so excited about your mom on the pod. She's alive. Oh, my God. Do you think?

No, I can't. Okay. We could just get old recordings of her and make it sound like she's not the butt. I think this is serving pussy. If you have a recording of your mum saying pussy, I don't know. That was one full recording, not even cut up. She just spoke like weird. My mother was a rubber.

Dick butt. Yeah. Yeah, so Ice is good This is it I can put ice machine Like I don't think Are we just taking something out Well I'm sure this year we'll have a topic of like Which form of H2O

Goes in the bunker Is it steam is it water is it ice Oh steam is so glamorous And water is so cool mist of course how could i forget clouds low mist and what about drops of dew well we already have a um not smoke machine but we do have low smoke low smoke in the bunker wait where why are we having low smoke from what episode how did we end up with low smoke in the bunker was that halloween decoration that's halloween decoration yes that's a quality come on darling what other From what episode was it from? How did we end up with low smoke in the bunker? Was that Halloween decoration?

Yes. That was Halloween decoration? Yes. That's a quality. Come on, darling. What other decoration did we put in? Did you just read it out? No. What was the decoration?

Well, I can't read everything from the list. Sail the Moon, we're doing stock take and it's an object. Oh, my God. Well, okay, smoke machine. Well, not smoke machine, but that thing. Just confusing. I distinctly remember you saying that it wasn't a smoke machine because I said I like pressing the button. It's a dry ice machine. Yeah, smoke machine. Well, not smoke machine, but that thing. I distinctly remember you saying that it wasn't a smoke machine because I said I like personal development.

It's a dry ice machine. Yeah, I know. Okay, other objects, other objects. I'm pretty sure that's all there. The reject shop? That's a place. That's a conservatory versus the lead pipe. God.

Yeah. Are the Rio underwears, is that an object? Yes, bitch. Okay. What about the onewears, is that an object? Yes, bitch. Okay. What about the one cup from Two Girls, One Cup? Of course. We have that tiny picture of a dick from your childhood in the library. That's an object.

Yeah. I don't know. Enough. Okay. I think, I'm happy to kick out that kettle However I think that oat milk Yeah I'm not feeling

We've never Anything about oat milk I look at this list And I look at these categories And I think You know what's never getting out of the bunker? What? Romeo Beckham

We just He's the mascot of the bunker at this point He is the face of the bunker Yeah Human AIDS And Yeah He's the mascot of the bunker at this point. He is the face of the bunker. Yeah. Him and AIDS. And oat milk? I have not thought about since that moment. No.

In hindsight, if we're talking about what kind of milk goes in the bunker, I don't know, something more funny, like sour milk. You know? Doing bits. Yeah. But oat milk, what a genuine answer. Boring. Yeah. Who were we that week? I don't Yeah Like Oat milk What a Genuine answer Boring Yeah

Who were we that week I don't know Oat milk Oat milk And I'm sure we said something like Oh she's serving You know like What a disaster

And we would have Bitched about soy milk Being disgusting Because it is But like imagine Like The two of us The two of us

Putting oat milk in the bunker That is so cliche Yeah No okay good I think I advocated for it pretty hard Well we're not saying you're not part of the problem You can get rid of it if you need to We need things that we can reference

That people go That's not in the bunker No one's thinking Well whichever one doesn't leave Because we're not kicking out more than one thing Unfortunately, it's against the rules Okay But I think that if we don't use it in the first half of the year

If we don't call back to it Yeah If we don't make a concerted effort to have a good jolly laugh about the kettle Then it's gotta go Or oat milk Yeah Wait, what? You're saying you want to wait? then it's gotta go or oat milk yeah wait what? you're saying you want to wait?

no I'm saying one can go today and the other one is on fucking probation you're on warning bitch well you know what we're going to do two stock takes a year because that's healthy wait so also just quickly it is good but

I don't know that I feel any kind of way about the Jumanji board game. Oh, let me tell you. I recently was, you know, like in mid-December doing my Christmas shopping and I was in it, toy store, and I saw the newest version of the Jumanji game, which I know we discussed on that day. And we, of course, put in the one that we had as children, which was far better, but you can't get that anymore and the new one is soulless although

it does still have the og mustachio rifleman which is good they're not like some new like the rock version or something yeah yeah so that i appreciate but the game is not the same darling and i just might want like i'm more like is it connect four i don't know yeah i feel i would still argue for mastermind i think well that's it mastermind has really much stayed in the consciousness of the death everyone listener we know yeah yeah i think people are still talking about the mastermind episode absolutely then matt said that thing about that other version what was that again like mastermind junior mastermind junior which is what we would be putting in well or mrs mastermind with a woman women are allowed to play master i just think you can't have a name that's an oxymoron Oh my god

What? I was like I saw my doctor and she said this And Zedal was like a woman doctor? Oh how could it Be the case My favorite thing Lazy has this tendency when she's telling stories

And then every time I hear anyone else says it But she's like, a woman, blah blah blah And I'm always like, a woman? Or she'll be like, the woman at the end The woman? Actually Actually Oh my god, don't get me started on love actually

Oh, that's fucking DVD, that's an object Yeah The cut down version That's staying in Because actually He's staying in Well I wish Actually is important

To the pod actually Well Actually I wish That Alan Rickman In Love Actually Actually Actually

Said obviously Because that would be My favourite Alan Rickman She'd say you're making a fool Of the life I lead Actually and then he says Obviously Oh my god okay Um

I I We're not going to put something in in place That's what I'm saying about the ice machine situation. I think I've missed the opportunity to have the ice machine, but it does. The kettle just needs to come out. I think, yeah.

Because I don't know. But oat milk, I think. Oat milk is worse than kettle. If I saw oat milk in the bunker, I'd be like, who are these celestial goddesses anyway? It's like a judgment. It's like, oh, thank you. Like cliche joke about the north side.

Yeah. Whereas if I saw a kettle, I'd be like, well, obviously there's a kettle in here. At least I can have some hot water. Well, yeah. At least I can throw hot water on some of the people in here. Correct. Okay. The good thing about getting hot water thrown on you.

Oh, my God. Good thing? Yeah. Like, obviously. Obviously. Okay The good thing about getting hot water thrown on you Oh my god Good thing Yeah Like obviously Obviously Actually Yeah What's happened? What's happened?

It's just a funny joke, obviously. Okay. Okay. Okay. It's just a funny joke Obviously Okay Okay Okay Oh Mercy Happy New Year everyone The good thing about having hot water thrown on you Obviously

No it's like Because Acid Is terrible Oh my god And it stays on the skin And continues to burn Yeah

But hot water is like Well, you've made some good points It's not so bad now It's kind of lukewarm No one's sad about having lukewarm water thrown on them Well, that's a shower You've just described a shower I've just described a shower Yeah I've just described a shower.

Yeah. God, I love a long shower. I'm a bath gal. True. You do love bath. I only know one other person in this life who loves baths as much as I do. Who?

My friend Tristan. Actually, he comes from a whole bath family And Cause like no it's true We'd be like Everyone like His dad would be like I'm going to bed

Like we know If we're like having a sleepover At his house And then he's like But I'm going to go and have my bath first I don't know that someone else's Parent should tell you That they're having a bath

It's going to be pretty damn obvious When we hear the splish splash swoosh Of a bath going on in the other room Oh my god But I think it's just weird And I understand baths are obviously Much more disastrous as far as Water consumption

Oh not when you look at the duration of my showers But the long shower I've become too aware Of how long it is Yeah it's like oh i didn't need to think about how much water i was wasting because it's like leaving a tap running feels wrong yes it would i've never but then like but with a bath it's like by the time i arrive it's like well it's already full i might as well enjoy it it's just like if i had to sit in it while i was filling

which i do sometimes but i love sitting in bath while it fills because then you can pretend like you're slowly drowning like um what lies beneath yes yes i do like to do that that's very good have you ever done rose petals in a bath no okay see this i'm a bit of a bath purist i don't like bath bombs i don't like the salts i don't want anything else and i will save like washing my hair and doing the soap until the last 10 minutes of the bath you wash your hair yeah wow it's a like and i went down in the river to pray so you know that dale's fit out and i'm like washing my hair but i do that at the very end because once the suds is in the water you can't go under the water and open your eyes anymore no that hurts yeah um i

when i was in germany last year staying at my friend michael's house when i left he gave me a bath bomb for i don't know why um and then i used it like two weeks ago and i filled up the bath and then i thought to myself oh you know what, I'm going to treat myself to that bath bomb and then I joyfully dropped it in and it fucking splashed purple powder everywhere and then the powder went on my bath mat and then when I got out of the shower, that powder got wet

and then the bath mat was all stained purple. And now it's still purple. No, I washed it out. But I was very annoyed for about half an hour this has really ruined the zen that i built up in that bath yes and how long was the bath oh half hour is that a long bath or a short bath for you oh i'd say short i had a shower first and then i sat in the shower and then i thought you know what maybe i have a bath so then i plugged the bath and i sat in the bath while the shower filled it up. To the rain.

So I was probably in the bathroom for an hour and a half. Okay. But I was lying in water for half an hour. But rest assured, the tap was running for an hour. Oh, mercy. That's bad. We shouldn't admit that. Okay. We can ble admit that. Okay.

We can bleep all of it so they can't hear. No, they know I'm being funny and sassy. Yeah, she's joking. I'm joking. That was a joke. Obviously. But also gay men douching, like that's using up a lot of water, baby. Yeah.

Yeah. So, you know. Yeah. It's not a healthy lifestyle. Oh, come on. For the planet, I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So, oat milk. Yeah, fuck that. Fuck it. Also, did we even say what brand? I don't even know oat milk brands. Yeah. Who did?

What were we? Oh, no. What are we doing? Oat milk? In. I hope you enjoyed your time. I hope you enjoy your life in the bugs. Can I say?

Okay. So, we've never established the entry point to the bunker. Is it a metal staircase? Is it like a basement kind of staircase? Is it a latch roof with a climb up bridge because i want to kick these things out and we'll all throw them out so what are we throwing out the thing that i have always had in my mind which i'm sure is the same as you because we are always aligned on everything yeah about the bunker yeah um is you know those

like pool ladders that have the, like they loop down? Oh, yes. It's that. It goes up and then it just descends into the earth. Yes. And you have to like down into the hole. See, that's perfect. Yeah.

When I was growing up, one of my, I had a primary school teacher that like I had for quite a few years, coincidentallyidentally and she had like a bung front tooth it was like just a bit like yellowed yeah dead tooth yeah yeah it was dead yeah and we of course asked her about it one day and she said that she as a child or teenager was coming out of a pool on one of those things and slid and smashed her tooth on the edge of the pool. That is a nightmare. Yes. Yes. Ew. And that's how she got the dead tooth.

Jesus. So be careful everyone. Those things are slippery and they also can take you to the death to everyone bunker. That's right. Okay, that's good. So in that case, we're holding or you know, like we're not doing it, but I guess Romeo Beckham's doing it.

He's holding the oat milk and he's throwing it up the ladder. But, like, it's, like, open. He's like, ah, and then watching it go up and then it kind of splats back down. Absolutely. He can wash it off in the oceanarium if he dares. Megan Mullally. is you uh going over on the um flying fox over the ocean area and you hear her go save me yeah i want a prime time okay fabulous i love that all right yeah i feel, I feel like that's been weighing on me.

Yeah, that and kettle, just something about that didn't seem right. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to kick it out as well? We can't. We can't. I'll return to this. Kettle is on the chopping block.

If I can slip kettle into future conversations, if I bring it up, then know that kettle might be the find. Okay. Well, what an incredible start. Let's have a break and be right back. BRB. Hello, we're back. It's now time for people.

It's time for people. Finally. Especially you. That's the tagline for the 2024 campaign of Especially You. It's time for people. Especially you. And it's like, who's the celebrity mascot for especially you? Like the brand campaign What's that tone?

It's like Oh wow Olive toned like Table runners and things What? Like it's for a middle aged woman Oh I thought you meant with olive tones I was going to say

Salma Hayek? What? No like I think like We're selling olive colored table runners can selma hayek be the face of especially you she's too good for especially you i don't think especially you would sell like premium target vibes what i don't think we're high end what we can't yeah it's not like suling your darling no i don't want to be sold in target you want me you mean like when like um like there's a vanilla fragrance in our line oh no i don't make the rules but it's called especially you

oh what's like um i'm going to figure out the Italian translation for especially you, and maybe that will make it cost more. Well, that would be the, yeah, they'd have a premium deluxe version, like the collab. Oh, or like, what's that car thing? Lexus. Lexus is like fake rich car. Because it's actually just Toyota, right? Oh, I didn't know this.

Is that right? I should have brought this up in car episode. Yeah, but I hate cars. Okay. Wait, wait. Who's the celebrity person for especially you?ja kruger sonja hayek we can't get we can't afford okay we can't get her who's like ricky lee no she's probably too bogan yes but like only just oh God. Like someone who. Nat Bass. Maybe now that she's a lesbian.

She's a lesbian? Did you miss this? What? She got a divorce. This is why I need Benign Girl around. But no, she, she, well, I mean, she might be bisexual. Yeah. Well, if they exist. One week a year.

Oh, my God. It's just very funny. We both have incredible bisexual friends. We actually have bisexual friends. I've got a bisexual friend. God, it's funny. it prove you have a bisexual friend what color is their hair well can't really picture it okay okay um so what celebrity face of... Yeah, especially you. Okay, so not... They need to... You want an Australian?

Well, I think this is probably all we could get. We can get someone who is... Misha Barton could be especially you. Misha Barton. But we can't get... It has to be someone at that level. Who would be... So not like we can't have...

What about Cate Blanchett? No, that's too high end She's got her deal with Swiss to worry about Well that's Nicole Yeah Nicole no What about Hugh? What about Hughie? No you're thinking too high

I can't think low Especially you Greta Killeen Oh At home with Greta Killeen Oh At home with Greta Killeen The former host of Big Brother No it's probably a bit too obscure She needs to have like

What's her name? Wife of Hamish Blake Oh Go to girl No I want I want my favourite Australian Terry Irwin

Terry could work I want my favorite Australian, Terry Irwin. Terry, good work. You know, it's incredible that her hairline isn't receding because she has had that ponytail for 30 years. It's the Jojo Siwa effect. Yeah. Maybe she went to Turkey, had it done. Gobble, gobble. Terry Irwin, I think, is a gobble. Okay.

She has her base. Terry Irwin, I think, is a great select. Yeah. Everyone knows. Imagine the in-style cover with Terry discussing her collaboration, how excited she is to share the new line. Oh, my God. Especially you. This is also my in to go to the fucking Irwin Bowl.

What's the Irwin Ball? What do you mean? What do you mean? Because for the past like three years, I have said to the Beastie Girls how much I want to go to Queensland for the annual ball that they have at Australia Zoo. And now she's looking at me like I've never said it before. You've never said this? Oh my God. Matt, has she ever said about the Irwin Ball?

I haven't said it on the podcast. Benanga will my god i haven't said on the podcast but now i go well no if this you know but i've been there isn't rolling oh to what the the ball that they have at australia zoo but i go went to the ball no no she's been to australia zoo i've been to australia zoo what yeah i saw steve irwin at austral. I am from, like, my family is Queensland through and through. Baby from one half. But, like, it runs deep. Yeah, wow. And when you go to Queensland.

It's a zoo. So it's cool. The opposite. Okay, okay. Look, we're moving right along but Terry congratulations especially we have some at home with

she tells us her secrets to a perfect vanilla slice we have got some human beings in this bunker please a round of applause if you would

for Romeo Beckham Gwyneth Paltrow Susie from Now Queer Education Lady Gaga Avril Lavigne question mark. Avril Lavigne. Question mark.

Brazilian Avril Lavigne. Yes, perhaps Brazilian version. Melanie B. Lindsay Lohan. Playing both. Characters from, I think, oh, the Gobble Ghost. Gobble Ghost. Gobble Ghost because, like, Gobble Ghost is untouchable, I'm afraid.

Oh, Gobble Ghost is in. Gob I'm afraid Oh a gobble ghost is in Gobble ghost Also fits the theme of Halloween perfectly So you know that's a good fit right And no one's allowed to wear ghost Halloween costume Because that's actually offensive to gobble ghost You can't just put that on once a year One night a year

You're going to know my struggle As gobble ghost We have the entire cast of the nanny of course Nanny, my friend Except for the Who fills in for Sylvia No, for Yetta No, it's Yetta's bones

It was Yetta's bones Yeah, yeah, yeah Because then Carrie's bones aren't so lonely Carrie Fisher's bones Which I suppose is an object But another untouchable object, obviously Well, the bunker is very much in debt to Carrie Fisher's burns, hanging from the ceiling like the whale in the National Hedgerby Museum.

That's exactly right. That is the core agreed upon element. Yeah, that's true. That's never changing. Okay, we have Ryan Reynolds. Wait a second. We put Ryan Reynolds in? Yeah, because you wanted to do the sexiest men alive or whatever the fuck.

We didn't put Ryan Reynolds in. Who did we put in? We put Michael B. Jordan. Oh, my God. We put in Michael B. Jordan. Don't you come here to me telling you we put Ryan Reynolds in the manga. Well, you know, but you put him in the title of the episode. I don't do anything for a click.

A click. Yeah, okay, that's fair enough. Okay, we have Jojo Siwa, for some reason, not Elijah Wood, but whatever. Child star. Why did we put a child star? Yeah. I mean, we have Mystique in the shape of Rebecca Romijn, so I suppose it's kind of that.

Rebecca Romijn. We have got Hilary Duffuff when did hillary get in when the bunker the only place that hillary got in where did hillary get in i think look okay a full disclosure No. Where's your list? Well, my list is ended now. Edit this out. Edit this out. Click.

Yeah, I'm now relying on the unreliable list. Okay, then we have Crystal who's driving the bait bus. We've got the gremlin in the base bus giving gobbies. We've got Courtney in the reject shop who also does shifts over at Wendy's. Yes. We have Sabrina Baby Slut working at the reject shop managing when she's over at Wendy's. Yes. We have Sabrina Babyslut working at the reject shop, managing when she's called in. We'll get back to her.

We've got a gaggle of fabulous gals just having the night of their lives. Women in their 30s and 40s having the best night of their lives. Yep. Don't ask where their money came from. It's best not to know. Yes. We've got talk show host Oprah Winfrey. Oh, yes, but she's not allowed to leave her little room

where she makes announcements. No, she's got quite an important role, so, you know, that's pretty solid. She is the voice of the bunker in a lot of ways. She is, of course. Pennywise, the evil force beneath the bunker. Yeah, would you consider it a human? Well, it can take the form. That's true. Very true.

Okay, we've got Whoopi Goldberg, which of course is in Whiteface. In A Nun's Habit, yeah. Yeah, in A Nun's Habit. We've got the two Brazilian women from 2001 Cup. Carrie Bradshaw, SJP playing Carrie Bradshaw. Oh, yes, yes, yes. True.

Okay, have we missed anyone? Lindsay Lohan, the twins. I mean, there's some other people in there like Bayonetta and the Wii Fit trainer, of course. Oh, Wii Fit trainer. Okay. Okay, is anything sticking out there? Oh, Megan Mullally.

Meg, the Meg. We've got Snow White. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. What's sticking out there is it doesn't fit. Okay. Well, you know what?

I've tried a few times to bring up Michael B. Jordan. Yeah. I've tried. No. There's no source. You never bounce back with anything. What do I have to say about Michael B. Jordan? Well, that's my point.

Yeah. I've tried. He's hot, that's my point. Yeah. I've tried. He's hot. He's so hot. But... I haven't watched Creed. What's that? His breakthrough film.

Oh. But you've seen Black Panther, his actual breakthrough film. Yeah, I guess. Let's see what his films are. Oh, God. Maybe we should watch every one of his films so creed creed 2 creed 3 oh my god he's gonna be in i am legend 2 and fantastic 4 oh no that was in 2015 okay black panther black panther wakanda forever without remorse just mercy fahrenheit 451 Oh, no, that was in 2015. Okay, Black Panther, Wakanda Forever, Without Remorse, Just Mercy,

Fahrenheit 451, Fruitvale Station. Oh, that was Billie Eilish's favorite film for all that time. Chronicle. I liked Chronicle. Chronicle. Okay, anyway. So here's the person. He was in Space Jam, A New Legacy.

You know what? It's weird that we've never brought up SJP. We have Carrie Bradshaw in the bunker. Yeah, we don't talk about Carrie. Yeah, and I think that's on us. That's not on her. There's so much, yeah. That's a fun toy that we should be playing with more.

Yeah. We also don't talk about Gwyneth enough. No, we talk about Gwyn all the time. Yeah, true. She comes up. Not enough, but she comes up. I'm just tentative. I'm like, we want diversity in the bunker. Yeah.

Are we going to kick out a prominent black man in favor of Carrie Bradshaw? Oh, Jesus. It feels very loaded. Oh, wow. I just am like, what kind of bunker at the end of times are we building here? We want to reinforce the kind of... Oh, my God. Sorry, I just forgot that I didn't mention.

We put in Katy Perry. Oh, yeah, Catherine. Well, let me tell you. We talked about her almost every episode. Yeah. The honorary... The Japanese woman. Oh, my God.

The other celebrity that we constantly talk about is Victoria Beckham, but she's obviously not allowed in because we already had our Beckham. Yeah. And Mel B got in. Mel B. Mel B we talked about plenty, and she's got that fabulous song, so she is not going anywhere. Yeah.

Also, the entire cast of The Nanny cannot go anywhere, obviously. No. Maybe Bratton. Oh, no. Oh, no. It might have to be the actor who played Bratton. He is the only one letting that team down. He is.

I saw like a before and after. Oh, don't. He looks. He seems the nice. He seems like a nice guy. He's a nice guy. The whole cast seems lovely, but maybe we do need to send Bratton to eat by bugs. You know what?

And I think that, you know, that Jojo could play that. Jojo would devour. Yeah. In a nanny reboot where Jojo plays Brighton as a young lesbian woman. Yes. God, that'd be good. I think we could make that happen, sister. Fran, do it again.

Oh, I'm so sorry. What is the nanny without Brighton? We should at least, let me just quickly, you say something. Okay, well. Because in his honor, we need to at least know his name, I guess. It's Brighton. Oh, my God. Okay, well, yeah, because I just need to remember how did Hillary Duff.

Oh, he's got a good name. Benjamin Salisbury. Well. Imagine if his name. Benjamin Salisbury. Imagine if his name was Benjamin Salisbury in the show. How did Hillary Duff get in? I don't know. No, I remember. I remember.

I remember. Hillary Duff got in on the Young Hollywood edition. Oh, my God. How did I let it not be Evan Rachel Wood? Yeah, you really didn't fight for that. No. I think because, you know what, sometimes it's your topic, sometimes it's my topic, and sometimes it's our topic. And when it's your topic, I don't want to press too hard.

Yeah, and my sister was here. True, Jennifer. And we had opinions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now it's quite, you know, I'm happy. I don't want to stand in front of the family. No. Don't cross our family.

I might forget that I put her in there a few weeks later But I'll still stand by that decision till I die And Hilary Duff is fantastic I just completely forgot she was there Did she have freckles? Said all of America What? Did she have freckles?

She never had freckles Oh, who's a freckle girl? Lindsay Oh, okay She's in Okay Doing a good job Well and we haven't even played on see we maybe we need to have like a dollhouse episode where we just play with all the things in the bunker well yeah that's kind of what we could write fan fiction where it's like and then

fran drescher said to lindsey lohan well i i kind of would say maybe this is good for an additional question of our fan base, our ever-growing fan base. Yeah. If you have something you want discussed, obviously you could always email us. We are always checking that email. But if you have fan fiction or opinions about how you think things are going in the bunker, I need you to send that through.

Yes. So we can read it to everyone in the audience i need you to send that through yes so we can read it to everyone in the audience i would love a fan fiction section yeah where people write in little fantasies of like well you know um mel b she woke up she went to the reject shop and she bought a um a uh a volcano corpse yeah because she needed a new chair for her corner of the bunker. But you know what's the funny thing about Mel B going to the reject shop? She goes in there almost every day and she still doesn't know Baby Slut's name.

She kind of just doesn't want to talk to the plebs of the bunker. Even some of the plebby celebs. Like she doesn't talk to Brighton. No. She would talk to Fran, but not not Mr Sheffield Yeah okay Right?

Oof It's cutthroat Mel B Yeah Gwyneth is yeah Hammering up Oprah still Do you think Gwyneth is You know what I think Gwyneth might be trying to get Goop stocked in the reject shop

Because it's the only option down there And I think Sabrina's just not letting her have it No she's like it's not on the list Ma'am And then Gwyn goes to the Wendy's and tries to order like a green smoothie or something And Courtney is like, bitch, we have the Flakeshake And she's like, well, what do you have that's healthy? How about a strawberry thick shake from McDonald's?

Yeah, so if you have little ideas like that. Yeah, okay, yeah. Maybe we should do that. I start sending in the emails. And you're like, we have this email. It's from you, Zelda Moon. Again? Okay.

Benjamin Salisbury. Sorry, babe. I'm so sorry, but I'm going to have to get you to climb that ladder. And I would say, okay, we need to be honest. We're putting ourselves and Michael B. Jordan on probation in a similar way to the kettle. That if we don't have a successful callback for Michael B. Jordan in the next six months, he's really, we've got to talk about that.

The only fun I've had with Michael B. Jordan is thinking about him going to the bait bus. What, you haven't thought about that? I'm going to watch Creed 1, 2, 3. What do you think about that? You are not going to watch those movies. What if I do? Maybe you'll like them. Like you like Fast and the Furious.

I don't think Creed is similar. What is Creed about? We saw the Rocky movies with Sylvester Stallone. Yes. So it's a update, like what happens, because Apollo Creed is the one that goes up against Rocky in the first one. Apollo 13. Yeah, when he's punching at that shuttle yeah what and then so it's like what happens to the son

of apollo creed when he gets into professional boxing and then he gets coached by sylvester stallone sylvester stallone is in it yeah oh that's cool yeah it's it's in the rocky extended universe and michael b jordan. Jordan plays Apollo Creed's kid. Michael B. Jordan plays Apollo Creed? Who's Apollo Creed? He was Rocky's nemesis. Yeah. Oh, Rocky's nemesis.

And he was beaten by Apollo Creed. Oh, God. I'm never watching this. I can't. We'll watch Fruitvale Station. What? Fruitvale Station. Yeah. What's that? That was his breakthrough film in 2013. Oh. What? Fruitvale Station. Yeah.

That was his breakthrough film in 2013. I haven't seen it. I did watch, did you watch Kingdom? Kingdom was like a boxing show. That's something I would say. That is the map of like one of your key jokes is like, say something. I'll say something with that same name. And what of it?

It. Beneath a bunker. Oh my God. God, is that what it's like talking to me? That's so annoying. Annoying. Oh God. Okay. God, son of. Oh god Okay The

God Son of Kingdom Is like a Boxing show Is that with Jonas Nick Jonas

Yeah Plays a gay guy I hate that I only watched season one But god Nick Jonas is hot I'm putting a ban on Nick Jonas in the bunker

He's not coming in But fuck He's really hot I I kind of am like He's just really handsome he's handsome but i'm like i just i just no i just can't with those boys no no oh the idea of a promise ring have you seen frankie jonas the young like the bonus jonas frankie grande another disappointing

famous sibling wait there's what another one the fourth one who's much younger than the Frankie Grande Another disappointing Famous sibling Wait, there's what? Another one? The fourth one, who's much younger than the three Yeah He has been opening for them on tour And he's kind of like A little bit like I don't know, he's giving Noah Cyrus energy

It's like Oh, you grew up in the shadow You're not even like The third even, like, the third forgotten sibling. You're the fourth forgotten sibling. So you kind of have a personality as a result, but it's, like, weird personality. But he's been getting up and performing his music act in, like, a rat onesie.

And his whole thing is, his name is Sewer Rat or whatever. What? Yeah. And so all these, like, young gals withals with like nostalgia feelings about Jonas Brothers go up. And they're like, oh, and there's that young one. Sewer Rat? Yeah. Oh my God.

It's upsetting. I, oh my God. I mean, kind of. Is it like a good costume or is it like from Kent Target? I think it's more leaning in the Target direction. But it looks like it's been pissed in Not like out of, in Into

Who was your favorite character on Oh, I might know the answer to this Not that I ever really cared about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles But who was your favorite character on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? What was that woman's name? The reporter, right? That's for you. Yeah, obviously. But I loved

the rat. Oh, what's his name? Stick? Scar? No. Splinter! Splinter! Splinter! So cool! I love that. I was really into the live action movie as a kid. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Splinter, so cool. I love that.

I was really into the live action movie as a kid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those cool puppets. That's my main, yeah. But I don't know. I think it's weird that you could be able to tell the difference between the different personalities of the turtles. They all looked very similar.

Yeah, and just had different weapons. That's kind of cool. Like us. I have a halberd and you have anthrax i have fabulous dust oh my god you know what we didn't even see if you could write some fan fiction about um someone blowing anthrax to the pneumonic tube system in the bunker that would be really great yeah yeah well that's why quentin just wears that mask all the time now because Gwyneth keeps coming in and trying to blow anthrax at her. Oh, my God. Gwyneth.

Okay. Michael B. Jordan hates that. See, it just never works. It's not funny. It just is like, oh, yeah. It's not funny. And then he's holding oat milk. See?

Michael B. Maybe his joke in the bunker Is that like he's doing something Like he's like painting Michael B painting No he's like Yeah Michael B flying foxing Yeah Michael B baiting

No it still doesn't work However you've survived this round Michael You're on probation but but Michael B. on denies Yeah Maybe it could work Alright, alright, alright Okay, I'm so sorry Mr. Salisbury

But up you go It would be sad to be like, go I have a, what about this? He gets to the top And Matt you say an insect now Centipede Centipede eats off the top half of him And his legs fall back into the bunker And then

Mike will be eating that tonight Perfect Alright we'll be right back Okay Hello sister Hello we're back and back and back Dear listener did you have a good new years or what To everyone Hello, sister Hello, we're back and back and back Dear listener, did you have a good New Year's? Or what?

I don't know Was it good? Did you like fireworks? Baby, you're a Firework I hate the ones that go But I like the ones that go But I like the ones that go Oh yeah, a little sizzle

Yeah, that's a good one Okay, maybe like if we want to If you're so concerned with like I say that like it doesn't benefit us But you know what I mean Like if we want to like a clickbaity episode title We do like which slime formula goes in the bunker? Like foam sizzle or like watery slime or, you know,

because they all make different sounds. Is your idea of clickbait that works in podcasts is like, well, I'm going to listen to the slime formula episode. Because we can insert the sound. People are going to love this. What do you mean? I would click on that. Who wouldn't? What? Slime formula.

Yeah, which slime formula gets in the bunker? More people would click than ever before. Okay. Now I talk it out. Maybe it's not the best idea. Maybe. Okay. For something a little bit different on this very different episode which guest goes in or which guest gets kicked out and currently sabrina

is on the line to be kicked out or we have ms banang girl banang girl patrick patrick and jennifer jennifer gonna my own sister yeah they're all the guests that we've had so far Patrick, Benign Girl, Patrick. Patrick. Dern and Silver. And Jennifer Garner. Jennifer Garner, my own sister. Yeah. They're all the guests that we've had so far. Yes. Okay. What do you think?

Well, hang on, first of all. Sorry. Benign Girl is not in this equation. Because she exists in the celestial void with us. No, she's beyond it. She's in the celestial void with us no she's beyond it she's in the celestial void she's the only other person in the celestial void so

I think that excludes her we can talk about her some if you want but here's the thing if benign girl was to enter from the celestial void she needs to have a la Arrested Development a surrogate No, okay, here's the thing. If Benign Girl was to enter from the Celestial Voiled, she needs to have, a la Arrested Development, a surrogate. So she's not actually there.

It's just a woman that she puppeteers. Oh, my God. Like that guy who just, oh, that's very funny. Yeah. Like the corpse of someone that has dead eyes. And Benign's voice comes out without her ever opening her mouth. Okay, well, that's quite good. So that would be the way. Patrick would walk into the bunker and be like, wait, where am I?

I've never heard of this before. I've never heard of any of these people. Jennifer Garner would do a great job in the bunker because she would know who everyone is. Yes. And she would get the references. Yes. But I think that my sister, could she manage a reject shop? Well, what if she did it with a new rack?

Because, you know, that's an option option facelift and new tears yeah i think that my sister would probably like get to know courtney and then like courtney would start sending off passag vibes if she'd replaced courtney's favorite slut. And something in their relationship with Sour as her manager. And Courtney would start being a bit passag, and it would kind of just drive my sister insane because she'd be like, well, why doesn't she like me? Would your sister like the best night of their life? Oh, yeah, she'd go off that. She'd like that, yeah.

Like she wouldn't do it all the time, but that would be Tolerable to her Did we have We have the The worm from Labyrinth As the bartender there right? Yes we did That's a weird choice

Okay but that's good You still haven't seen that so Labyrinth? Oh it was Edie that hadn't Yeah Edie Centric is another great option Edie I mean she might lose her mind in the bunker

But it's better than being dead She lost her mind on the surface. And you know what? She knows the words. And she already thinks she has bugs under her skin. She, I think she'd be a good time gal in the bunker. And then Patrick. Patrick would definitely go to the bait bus.

Patrick would. Yes. Yes, to the bait bars. Patrick would. Yes. Yes, he would. And Gobble Ghost. Yes. And you know what? Who else is servicing those industries? You know, especially now that we've kicked out.

Michael B. Michael B. Gobbled. Michael B. Gobbled. Oh, Patrick Okay I'm gonna just say it None of these options are as compelling as Sabrina Baby Slut Running the reject shop in the bunker Wait, but so what, you're saying we need to kick her out?

No, but keeping her in Oh, good, good, good, good the bunker wait but see what you're saying we need to kick her out no we're keeping her in oh good oh good good good i just am like because i i thought it was kind of on the proviso that we kick sabrina out we have to bring one of these people in no no no no oh we can just bring someone in yeah it's either bring someone in or because yeah so it's having no one no guest ever no guests from the show, or having two guests? Well, it's either in or out. Sabrina was clever enough to get herself in.

Yeah. I thought that we had to take Sabrina out in order to bring in someone new. No, no, no, no, no, no. A la season four of Lost. Oh, well, okay, that changes everything, because I kind of thought that it was going to be like, is there anything that can compare to the fabulousness of Sabrina? no no no no no because like with the other two it was like we're kicking things out because we're going one way but this way it's just like we're either

bringing something in or like because yeah so i think sabrina should stay oh sabrina's staying so we're not kicking her out benign girl's not going in what about the surrogate? The benign-er-gate. The benign girl. If it's a corpse. My God. And also, that's a way to get around the fact that benign girl has quit drag. Yeah. That's kind.

I don't know, darling. I don't think my sister would like to survive the apocalypse, to be honest. Yeah. I think she's like, I had a good run. So I'm going to take her off the board. I don't think she'd like that. And I don't know that Edie would like it. No, I don't think Edie would like to survive the apocalypse either.

However, Patrick, Patrick could also be in the shows. Oh, true. He could act in The Nanny. He could be the new Brighton when Jojo gets sick. Yes. From the anthrax that could have blew in her face. In the woods. Yeah.

Is he allergic to bees? No. See? He's perfect. Okay. Let's put Patrick in on a trial. Oh, very much on trial. Probationary.

Yeah. And we'll see if anyone thinks that that's good. What was the object that Patrick put in? His writing from year 10 oh yes yeah well he could tell that around the abyss yeah it's sad that the writing got there before him and now it's like oh yeah the guy that wrote that yeah he's got a bad reputation i do think he'll be like shunned he'll make some for mel he's very Yeah. Mel B. and him will get along. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good role for her.

Friend of Patrick. Okay. Okay. What an episode. What a year. What? It's been a good one. 2024.

Two days. There's so much more to come. And do you know what? What? Diva. Devatronic Diva. This year is going to be good. Okay. I can feel it in my whole abyss

Oh, you know what? That's an option Maybe we can just drop the oat milk down the abyss I don't want to dirty up the abyss If it's not good enough for the bunker It's not good enough for the abyss Well, the abyss is pure as it is right now. True.

I don't want like... And you know what? Currently, no one knows what's at the bottom. But if we drop oat milk in, they'll know that oat milk is at the bottom and mystery. Yeah. Yeah, it's not good. You can't have oat milk and mystery. No, no, no, no.

Okay. No, because there was that one person that fell and came back from the abyss. And he cleans the bathrooms now. Remember? That's the law. Do you he cleans the bathrooms now remember that's law do you remember this do i remember that yeah this is patrick's edition oh i see he's like only one person has ever survived the abyss oh yeah just cleans the bathroom and talks about the abyss just say so many things and now he's gonna be saying them for all time. Oh, my God. Okay, amazing. Well, we are so excited to spend the next year with you all, dearest listener. And come on us on this journey as we continue to. Won't you come on us?

Dear listener, if you could please come on us, that would just be great. Yeah, come with us. Oh, that too. On this journey. Through the next chapter of the bunker. Well, okay, I'm just thinking of things. It's crazy. Matt, we're going to just listen to what you have to say and then consider it.

But if you had the power, which you don't, to kick something out of the bunker, you've had to listen to us talk about many things. If you could kick out one thing, what would it be? Oh, my God. Even, hang on, real quick, I'll just say some of the things from other categories that we have in the set. Remind me, because I can't remember what we talked about.

Okay, we've got the spinach from Cotteroll. We've got the bathroom that plays the Waking Up in Vegas film clip. We've got the plus from LGBT plus. We've got the Pompeii death room. I like that. We've got Shakira's apartment's window with the mother-in-law and that song. Oh, the witch. We've got an airline reward system and the little clicker thing.

We've got, you know, so many things. Oh, look, I don't know. I enjoy all of the things that you talk about each week. Some things I don't understand. A lot of things I don't understand a lot of things i don't understand what you're talking about no i i really can't remember any of the episodes i'm really struggling to remember anything i just i can't believe you have you've had this whole education unlimited access to some of the great minds and And you're just going to be walking around knowing things now about the world.

Me? Yeah. And one day someone will be like, well, someone's going to bring something up in your company. It's like, oh, Mandy Moore was on the cover of that Young Hollywood edition. And you'll be like, I've heard of that. Yeah, it was the 2003 cover. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't remember any of that.

What are we to you, Matt? Well, you're just like voices in my head because I'm not even in the same room as you. We're wearing out of space. Yeah, that's right. Sometimes I wonder, like, if I've just imagined all of these episodes this year. God, that would be sick. Perhaps you'll remember this, Matt. Do you remember that one?

Yeah, that was a good one. Just last week. Yeah, I got home last week after the episode and my partner was like, what did you talk about? And I was like, I literally can't remember anything he talked about. I think that that episode might be one of the most deranged. Just talking about it, like, we put in Fairlight. And then I say this stuff to my partner and she's like, that sounds cool.

And you're telling me people listen to this? Yeah, yeah. It's a catalyst for the conversation that comes up around the stuff. It's not about the stuff that we put in. It's about deciding what goes in. She's like, oh, sure. She's like, get a job. We have a crying baby at home.

They're off doing this. It's like, don't drag queens, like, do mega mixes or something? Alyssa's not saying the word mega mix. True, true. Okay. Anyway, no, I can't think of anything. I'm sorry. Well, you're right.

We're perfect. Thank you. That's all you needed to say okay except for oatmuck and brighton all right well thank you so much for joining us everyone and goodbye listener you are ready for a year of beauty and you deserve it all You deserve everything that's happening I hope you work hard for it Actually Obviously Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie

If you have something to ask us or if you've written some fanfic about the people in the bunker Well send it to us at deathtoeveryonepod at gmail.com And won't you support us at Patreontoeveryonepod.gmail.com. And won't you support us at Patreon? At patreon.com slash death to everyone. Happy New Year. Happy 2024. Waiting for tonight.