Death To Everyone - Death To... Geniuses, Spheres & Teeth

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

This week the intergalactic queens you know and love head into the darkest recesses of their mind to decide which of the big brains will join the bunker. Of course it is also time to decide which sphere and which teeth get into the bunker. Follow us, won't you? ⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com/⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 TEN TO EVERYONE 🎵 🎵 ESPERO SUIUM 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 What skeletons in your closet, Lesnar? Zelda? Yeah? I think you need to tell the audience that's not a skeleton.

The illusion. No, I just, there are people driving and it's unsafe. True, I don't want them to be spooked. They will be spooked out. Spooked. Listener, that was just a fun little prank intro not a skeleton that i was rattling holding it from the spine where's my iced latte that's right also when people are rattling around skeletons yeah we know the bones come apart because the only thing keeping the bones together is the ligaments and the like muscle tissue yeah once that's gone you're pure skeleton you ain't being suspended yeah it's not realistic true the

only time you see a skeleton hung together in the correct structure is in like a doctor's office yeah and it's held together with wire Wire Wire Oh, I'm so spooked Am I at a doctor's office? Maybe I should be spooked We've got some bad news Do you know what I tried? I booked a dentist appointment the other day Congratulations!

Literally, it'll be the first time I've gone to a dentist in four or five years Oh my god, I need to go Yeah, every adult needs to go But you know what? I was like, when this stuff happens Teeth When teeth continue to happen to me day by day Yeah, every adult needs to go. But you know what? I was like, when this stuff happens. Teeth. When teeth continue to happen to me day by day.

I'm like, well, who's paying for this? I know. And then I looked it up. You. Me. Why? Great question. But like, sorry, I know that this is stupid, but like you'd assume that teeth might fall under Medicare.

But apparently not. No. Apparently not, Goff Whitley. Absolutely not. But that's so weird. That's so weird. If it was up to the government, the teeth are your business. That is it.

Yeah. Yeah. They just want a toothless economy. They want sloppy BJs from the populace It's because none of them have teeth Lizards Yeah The lizard people The lizard in charge

Anyway, they were like, it's too expensive For me to have teeth You want to be at the Anzac Day Memorial and be like seeing someone do a speech like, Hello, people gave their lives. You want small children to gum smile up at you? That's not the Australia I believe in. Cover the teeth! And people yell that at me sometimes.

And welcome to Death to Everyone. Cover the teeth! And people yell that at me sometimes. Anyway. And welcome to Death to Everyone! Oh, this is our podcast where we, uh, and who are we, sorry? Sorry, were you asking? You say. I'm Lacey Sears. And I'm Zeldamoon! And I'm a drag queen.

And this is a podcast where we talk about, you know, it's the end of days. But fear not, we have a doomsday bunker and we will put some of the best of the best in to be preserved to the end of time. That's right. Yeah. I pray for the end of times. Which tooth? Which tooth? Oh my God, the canine tooth. So cool.

Baby, that's a whole episode. I can't even save that for later. That's gold. Okay, that is a gold tooth. I can't even save that for later. That's gold. Okay, that is gold. A gold tooth. Send it to Gringotts, baby. It's gold. We talked about Harry Potter too much.

Yeah. God, JK Rowling's crazy. She fucking sucks. But like, there are so many bigoted piece of shit billionaires. Yeah. I would say almost 100%. if you're a billionaire by the time you get there like yeah you're gonna have some weird fucking distorted picture of the world yeah but the fact that she is so emboldened if i was a billionaire who'd been like yes anded

since the late 90s by the whole world yeah told that I was the best person, that I'd improved literacy, that I basically made the world a better place, and everyone was enchanted by my fabulous tales. I could see you get probably a year of crazy before you really burn that out, before the voices of dissent become deafening in your comments but she has like gone past the year of like like she's just so fucking padded from any kind of understanding of the world she has only yes men around her like there's no way the messaging

or future education is getting to her and now she's like past that like well maybe you just live in a weird echo chamber to now just like you are just an out and out crazy like you are really putting your thumb on the scale and no crisis pr management and you know warner brothers is thinking of buying her out of harry potter yeah i saw that which is wild like they put the estimated value of that intellectual property at 43 billion dollars wow that's so stupid i'm sorry but like no it isn't come on but they're just about to release the hbo series that might be in trouble thank god like no when they paid out george lucas for all of star wars six billion you're telling me 42 billion dollars for like we're said at one school

come on let's be real we're gonna go yeah let's be real yeah you know i don't think they're JKing around. So Zelda's a bit tired this week. I'm not tired. Sounds like you need to have a little nap. Yeah. And what state of rest are you? I'm pretty well rested, but I feel like I've now gone and now I'm overtired. Oh, no. Like, no, like I'm over rested.

Oh, no. Because this winter, let me tell you, if you're listening from Barbados, Rihanna's in her, like, holiday house. Yeah. Like, I want to watch the new ep. Is that your Rihanna accent? Yeah. Get me the ep. It's fucking cold here, Rihanna.

Yeah. Robin Fenty. And it's so cold that you're kind of just like immobilized. It's like playing the floor is lava except the house is Arctic tundra and you like can't really survive out of the bed for too long. I feel like if I step on a surface, my foot will freeze onto it. Like stick. Yes.

Yeah, it's disgusting. It just, I mean, once again, the government has failed us all with their fucking standards for building homes. Why are they not insulated? Anybody? Wow. It's too late now. We've already done them.

Yeah, they're built. Better luck next time, I guess. Yeah. Well, I guess we'll build society again somewhere else. Yeah. Fuck. What a waste of time this was. Now, this is the first episode back in the studio.

After being Liv. Liv! And what a great time it was. Oh, thank you, listener, for coming out during the cold season to come and see some crosses. Liv. And indeed we did, Liv. And we had a good time. Oh, thank you, listener, for coming out during the cold season to come and see some crosses. Live. And indeed we did live. And we had a good time.

And we sold some of our gorgeous merchandise. However, for those of you concerned, there is still some left over. So we're going to figure out how we best want to distribute them. Yes. To the populace. I presume if you purchase one, we'll drive by your house around 6 a.m. and throw it onto your front lawn. We had fun.

It was good. It was good. And what happened in the green room after the show? Oh my God, all these comedians were in there. First of all, we got rushed out by the management. Thank you so much for having us. Oh yeah. And they were like, get out.

Get out. We were overtime. Get out. We were overtime. But you know what When we did comedy festival We also went overtime a few times Yeah But like

For comedy people Comedy festival people have no sense of humour But I also think that it's because they're like Jealous that we have material that would take us over Because no comedian's going over They've said their fucking three jokes or whatever the fuck They're like, oh no, that's true Famously, no comedian has ever gone over

I presume Remember that one time, and I won't say who the comedian was Because you'll know them if we say them, maybe We were like doing a show with a bunch of comedians And they went over like by 20 minutes And we were standing like, there wasn't even a backstage there was just a thin curtain with us pressed with our backs against the wall and we had to like stand there while he went over yeah or they went over and or she i don't know we can't reveal the

identity of this person yes um and we just had a thin sheet of fabric and we just had to listen to their act go over and they thought that they were having like the night of nights they thought they were having like wow once in a lifetime and i'm like rocking all this new material well it was really hard for us because we were trying to not laugh behind someone would have heard us yeah and you wonder why Zelda hates stand-up. Yeah, I think it's like much more of a thing in comedy land to not go over because in drag land, you start late, you end late, and it doesn't matter because you're at a club.

Yeah. So it's like you're trained in a very different society, whereas in comedy, I think it's a big taboo to go over. Shut up. It was like eight minutes. Yeah. a half hour turnaround it's not like they were setting up props for the next fucking diva thank you so much for having us they just got a microphone on a stick like get out we need to we need to set the stage the stick is two minutes over we have to bring it in the center like shut up

we really appreciate it can't wait to work with you again and then there we were dressed as a turtle and a lobster in the fucking dressing room with just these comedians in like kooky t-shirts oh shut up well so

backstage they have a beautiful backstage. No drag place has ever had such a nice backstage. No, that was awesome. And it's like well lit. There's a mirror. There's like, you know, a little like rider area. And there's like a monitor showing what's happening on the stage, which is actually so helpful.

I loved that. And we're watching the monitor. And so we're in with like all the queers who are like going on as part of the ensemble performance. And we're watching the stage and it seems to be the one straight guy who's on the lineup that night. And he looks like, you know, like the most Aussie boy that you've ever seen in your life. And he's out there and, you know, seemingly killing it. And I must just be bitter because I've been in my heels for too long because I'm sitting there watching it dressed as a giant lobster being like, so I have to dress like this and he gets to dress like that.

And so I just start ripping into this plain t-shirt that he's wearing and I'm like, look at how disgusting that t-shirt is. Oh, I hate that t-shirt. I loved it. A credit to, I guess, his peers because they're not drag queens so they don't immediately jump on the bandwagon and be like, ew, gross. They're like, it's nice.

Yeah, feel like, oh, no, he looks good in that. What's wrong with the t-shirt? It's got an arm hole on each side and a neck hole and a place for his torso to sit. Fun little print on the front. Yeah. And I was like, oh, God, it's just so boring. Meanwhile, I'm stripping out of my turtle costume and just slowly putting

actual clothes back on it was yeah it's the change room it was and they were like even listen these people are good people they were decent people um and i think that's the thing that i'm always taken aback by because if you've ever been with drag queens you're in the backstage area and it's like everything is like a bit and rancid and disgusting it's like the funnier place to be whereas every time i've been with comedians they are so dry backstage and there's like no one is doing bits no one is doing jokes no one's like sassing each other everyone's just being nice and decent which is so weird because I feel like that environment in the drag world is what like gets you ready to be like, yeah, we go on stage because you're like bubbling away. And then you're like, I just need to.

But instead it was like, so how was, how's it been? Yeah. How was your, what'd you get up to this week, mate? It literally was that. And then, so I'm just trash talking, trash talking. And then Zelda and like Zelda jumps on board and like, yeah, disgusting. So we're the worst. And then we like are leaving.

And then the straight guy is getting off stage and he's coming around. We meet him in the hallway up in the backstage area. And I'm like, oh, that was a great set. We could hear the audience dying but those guys in the dressing room they were so rude about your t-shirt it was like really mean we love the t-shirt i thought it was i think it's really cool great t-shirt incredible t-shirt and he's like thanks guys i just got the shirt today. Yeah. And then, yeah, we walk off. And then we hear him walk into the green room and go, all right,

who the fuck was talking shit about my t-shirt? And we're like, run! And we didn't fall down the emergency stairs. So that was a plus. And who knows what happened after that. Some say there was no turtle and lobster that night in the green room. Yeah, well, who would believe you? Two turtle and lobster.

Come on, let's stir up some toxic workplace shit. Yeah, that was great. Let's bully someone. Why is no one here being bullied? Between that and the beetroot, what a successful night. Zelda threw that beetroot at the light. Oh, that was expressed in the episode. Yes, I think.

Wasn't it a potato? Oh, they threw a potato as well. But the beetroot, I nearly smashed the light. But it was dark. I didn't know the light was there. Who would put a light there? In a theatre. It was actually really terrifying watching you guys on stage

because Zelda's chair was like a centimeter away from falling off the stage and she kept like slipping off her chair and then I felt too forward I was like gonna crush and then she just kept plonking back on the chair and like pushing it back like millimeter by millimeter and there was this girl in the front row and she just was looking at me like you've gotta you've gotta help her she's gonna fall off the stage you said nothing no they saved me twice i gotta i had to keep getting up and like pushing you forward because because i mean who builds a stage with a trap door at the back when you're in drag you're so huge it's like really scary. Oh, so huge that I plunk around apparently. I just felt like you were like this giant like plunky creature that I had to like herd into the right spots and when you were walking around the audience you kept

really bumping into things and then you threw that big tree. I had a gigantic turtle shell on. It was just, it was a lot. I forgot how big you guys were. Tremendous. I am. Well, you'll notice all of those notes were for you, Zelda. I was a graceful swan.

Yeah. I wouldn't go that far. You did stay on stage more than I did. Yeah. I, you know what? I know where my light is. Yeah. That's why I was trying to get out of it.

Yeah, maybe she wasn't a turtle. She was a cockroach. Plonking around. In her tremendous size. I loved it. It was great. Ooh, what a good time. Oh, fascinating.

Fascinating. But that was seven days ago, darling. What about since then? What have you done? I have been bush. I went regional. I went to Warrnambool on Thursday to go and do bingo with my good sissy friend, Gabriella Labucci.

Gabriella. Former guest of the pod. And Sheridan Skye, Gabriella Labucci's platonic life partner and manager, I suppose. And co-Polly Pocket supporter or whatever. And so I went out to Warrnambool. Now, if you're listening, Rihanna, Warrnambool is three and a half hours away from where I live in Melbourne. And so I hop in my car and like it's stiff traffic to get out of Melbourne on a Thursday night

because everyone has bought into the dream of the Delphin living estate where you can live in Geelong and drive back home to work in the city you know and so there's a lot of traffic particularly if you're trying to get over the Westgate which I was and so I'm zooming down the highway and it's three and a half hours okay three and a half hours. Okay. Three and a half hours. Wait, you were going to stay in a room, weren't you? What?

Weren't you going to stay there overnight? I did stay there overnight. Oh my God. Tell the story, please. Well, if only I could. So glamorous. And so then I drove down. I'm listening to all of the Charlie XCX new album, which is really good.

Brat. Then I get there and it's like five minutes until the bingo is about to commence. What fun. I run in. I've only got my face. I forgot lashes. I forgot everything.

Like I quickly jump into my outfit and then run out and we do a quick three-hour long bingo. And I immediately just get as drunk as possible and start heckling heckling heckling all these people and it was fabulous and i kept being like where am i am i in corlac what's what's this place morabin what is happening here yeah and they were like where is warnable and they were telling me all about warnable and i was like what's was like, what's Warrnambool famous for? Dandrogeny.

Whales. Yeah. And Oddball. Oddball, the dog. Oddball, the dog? Who lives on an island. Or did. He died now.

Did. Oddball, the dog, lived on an island and protected the penguins from predators. So, Oddball, the dog, this one's for you, girl. Three little kisses for your noggin. What predators? Like on the island? Baby! The island of Australia?

Yeah, you can't eat the dogs. The... What? What do you mean? So, the dog lived on an island I didn't stop to ask this drunken Chardonnay queen What the fucking backstory of Oddbod was I was just excited that an Australian small town

Didn't have the backstory of Oh we're famous for the murderer of the children Which is always a thrill Someone who knows about Oddjob please write it Oddjob Oddbod There's a Shane Jacobson movie. Kenny is in the Oddball movie.

Kenny. Kenny. The janitor. Kenny. You know the movie Kenny? I haven't seen that. No, I haven't either. But Shane Jacobson.

I don't know what that is. He was the Kenny. He's an actor. I feel like the cover of that is like someone on a toilet Is that true? He's a toilet cleaner He's a toilet Boo

Of course it's Australia's like pinnacle of culture That's Australian? Baby He's a toilet man Oh my god Of course it is And Sheikh Jacobson has had a long and illustrious career that included the film Oddball About the dog that protects the penguins on the island

There's a movie about this dog yes it's called oddball oh my god this dog is being fed to the megalodon officially sorry about that oh that's how she died shit well maybe i do know more about oddblurk than i thought oddblurk anyway then we stayed in a motel Which I loved And Gabriella Labucci told me all about how her and her brother used to play a fabulous game Which is who can find the Bible first when they get to the motel And so we had a good game of that Who won?

There was no Bible Wow Yeah Or Sheridan Sky was hiding it from us But what if you were Like lost in the night At 1am In a fucking hotel

Looking for God And no text available That's right, all you would find was nothing Maybe a black mold But then the next day I set off to Geelong Because I'll be doing A performance with Art Simonier At Recess Bar,

a fabulous cocktail bar. And I set off and driving along and like it's another two and a bit hours to Geelong. I think I was just like, oh, yeah, I should pick up some fuel while I'm driving because it's time to like fuel up. Yeah. But the thing that they don't tell you about these like weird country highway is it's not like gas station 30 minutes gas station 30 minutes kind of thing

there was no gas station i'm driving i'm like there is no gas station and then like i'm like oh one will show up one will show up and the fuel gauge is getting lower and lower and lower and i'm like i just show up in the shop it keeps getting And I'm like, where the fuck are these gas stations? I've been on the highway for ages, like an hour by now, and there's no gas station. We call them petrol stations in Australia. The fuel light comes on. The tank is empty.

I have no reception. My phone can't even tell me where the nearest gas station is. So I have to drive around looking for a gas station petrol station servo I wait for the reception

and it shows me where one is the closest one to me is 15 minutes away by foot? no and so I'm like okay well it well, it's time, bitch. Okay. And then I immediately drive and drop, the reception drops again, but it knows the route now. What time of day is this?

It's like Friday. So it was sunny. Okay. So middle of the day. Middle of the day. Okay. I'm driving, driving, driving. And then it's like, okay, turn left.

I'm like, okay. Then we're on like a small single lane paved road. And I'm like, driving, driving. And then it's like, okay, turn left. I'm like, okay. Then we're on like a small single lane paved road. And I'm like, okay. And then I'm driving along and like that fuel gauge is just like. Like, and like the numbers on the like minutes to destination are like. 15. 14. It's just a quarter of an hour.

It's fine. Oh my God. 13. And then I'm driving driving driving and then suddenly i'm surrounded by like there's no it's like an arid landscape there's no vegetation it's just like kind of yellow soil and then these giant wind turbines that are being set up and it's like going through like the valley of Colossus or something. Cause they're like so big that it's kind of unimaginably huge. Like,

and they're like right next to the road. So it's not just me on stage on Saturday. And, but there's like pieces of them that have not yet been constructed yet. So they're lying flat across the landscape. Oh my God. It's like the Evangelion graveyard. And it was so immense that it was like terrifying and it made me even like feel smaller and then the road stops being paved and suddenly i'm on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere with no reception

with no fuel almost anyway keep going Almost. Anyway, keep going. Nine, eight, seven. And as I'm going, like, there's no break in this landscape. I can't imagine a fuel stop just appearing. There's not going to be, like, a shell just set up on a dirt road. And then five, four, three.

And there's still nothing. And I'm like, what if it's just sent me to where there used to be a gas station? Or like it's a phantom gas station that someone's just marked on this map for no reason. And then I come over this rise and there's a shipping container in a giant gravel lot and a sign that says, like, Texaco diesel fuel now open to public. And then I'm like, I guess. And so I drive down to that shipping container. There's no one there. It's completely unmanned.

But it's a shipping container with a fuel hose sticking out of it. What? And so I drive up next. But like when I get down there, there's like two guys who are in there like camping, like four wheel drive. Are they hot? No. Okay. And so I get out of my car and I'm like looking at the situation. And the fuel hoses are not like domestic fuel hoses.

They're like ones for industrial equipment. And I am looking at the guys that I'm like, can you wind down your window? I did like, can you wind down your window? I want you to imagine like I'm in like a 2011 Hyundai wagon. So it's like, and it's filled with drag and it looks like a mom car with just wigs piled high in the back yeah um from all those wig changes i was going to do yeah and so i'm like can you wind down your window and they're like wind it down and they look at me and they're like yeah and i'm like um how do you like pay and they're like does that car take diesel oh and i was like yeah and they're like, does that car take diesel? Oh. And I was like, yeah. And they're like, oh.

And I'm like, yeah. And then they're like, you pay on the side. It's like, do you have a credit card? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, you just pay with your credit card. And then it like pre-fills. I'm like, oh, okay, great. And they like drive off.

Oh. And then I'm alone. Oh, my God. In the middle of nowhere with nothing. They were not hot. Just to clarify, not hot. Yeah. So, then I go up to the little, like, terminal where you can prepay for your fuel.

Yeah. And I press pump number one. And then I tap it with my phone. Oh. And it says, sorry, this card is not accepted. Try a different card. Oh my God. And I don't have my wallet.

I have nothing. I don't have my credit card. I don't have like a, you know how like some of those paywave terminals will only take an actual physical card and not the Apple pay. So I'm like, fuck, fuck. And I'm like looking around, I'm like, around i'm like i actually don't i can't drive to the next like the next petrol station is now 30 minutes away yeah i wouldn't make it i'd probably make it like maybe on back onto the highway maybe yeah and so behind this thing down a stretch of

road is a quarry like a giant quarry and a garage that's like four-story high garage with giant mining gear in it, like land movers and diggers and stuff. And so I'm like, okay. And I'm in my little neon green pickleball shoes, and I drop my drag queen ass down that road, and I'm just looking out for anyone at all. Yeah. And as I approach the giant garage, there's a guy having his like lunch break in his high

vis. You know, when you're walking from a long distance, but like you're visible the entire time. Yes. So I'm like, it becomes apparent that I'm walking directly towards him. And he looks up and he's like, how are you doing? And I'm like, it becomes apparent that I'm walking directly towards him. And he looks up and he's like, how are you doing? And I'm like, not very good. And then I walk over to him and I'm like, hi, can I borrow your credit card?

And he's this young guy. Is he hot? He's hot There you go, you got it And I was like, I just, I can't, I have no fuel And it's not taking my card Do you have like a credit card that I could use and I could transfer you back or whatever? Yeah

And he's like We don't take too kindly He's like, oh yeah, what? Okay What's the issue? And I was like, I just Like, it's not working And he's like, right

Like, I'll come up with you And we can figure it out And I was like, okay So we're walking up and I'm like, what do you do? And he's like, oh, it's a quarry And I'm like, uh-huh, what do you quarry? And he's like, okay. So we're walking up and I'm like, what do you do? And he's like, oh, it's a quarry. And I'm like, uh-huh. What do you quarry? And he's like, rocks.

I'm like, oh, and what for? And he's like, well, it's for the base of the wind turbines. We're getting the rocks for the bases. I'm like, okay. That is so cool. He's like, I'm a mechanic though. So I just fix the machines. He's not a quarry man. I'm not a quarry man.

Thankfully he didn't ask me what I did. Now how well did you take off your makeup the night before? How well did I put it on? Anyway, so then he comes up to the terminal and like, he can see he's like getting his phone ready to do the phone pay. And I'm like, we both have our phone pay. It's not going to work, darling. He's just like, so what's the issue?

And I'm like, okay. So I press like one on the terminal pump one and then pay wave. And then it says this message. And I show him the message that says, use another card. This does not work here. And then he like takes his thumb and wipes it across the like screen on the terminal where it's caked in like dust and then beneath where it was saying that it says like pre-select your amount that you want to pay and then tap

and then i do that and it works immediately with my phone i'm like Oh Well I'm an idiot Thank you For that Thank god one of us can read You can't read You can't read And he said that And he said

Yes Yeah And I was like Thank you so much That was really stressful He was like No it's alright And I was like

What's your name And he's like Locky Oh my god of course His name was Locky Yeah And I was like, thank you so much. That was really stressful. He's like, no, it's all right. And I was like, what's your name? And he's like, Lockie. Oh, my God. Of course his name was Lockie. Yeah. And I was like, thank you, Lachlan. And then he went back to his life.

No. Why didn't he ask you an interesting question? And then I, like, took the, like, the Bowser pump, like, nozzle. And thankfully it fit inside of my tight little car hole. Okay. And like the second, you know, like, I don't, well, you don't know, but listener might know when you like pump your gas, like it takes like, I don't know, X amount of time to fill.

Then you can kind of stand around and have a thought. Yeah. With this, because it was like for industrial mining equipment, it just was like dumped diesel into my car and then i was like it was so needlessly stressful how long was the walk with um lucky it was like a good minute and a half okay yeah so he could have seen you at the no because he was down in the quarry like there was lips to the quarry lips i love an abyss as much as the next girl um yeah wow that was the story. Okay. And now I'm here to tell my story. Brave.

Brave. Brave. Well, I, so we both had, we've kind of messed up the timeline. It doesn't really matter. We both had Circuit the day after. Liv! Liv! And that was fun.

We did it with Bambi. Queen. Which was fabulous, of course. And what song did you do, darling? So I did, I did the Oogie Boogie song from Nightmare Before Christmas. And you were my Sandy Claus. Thank you, sister. Strangely, no videos have surfaced of that performance.

So I don't really know how it all landed. But I presume incredibly well. Well, I just want people to know, if you're not kind of familiar with the Melbourne drag landscape, Circuit is like the probably like premier dance club gay venue. Yeah. Where it's like generally a lot of like, if you're going to see like a stunty show with like a nice jump split or a hair flip, you might see it at Circuit. It's perhaps not the venue for anything conceptual what was the concept with oogie boogie theater a bit of magic a bit of suspending i just need you to imagine like mr oogie boogie

you're standing in the audience and it's like being just like, I don't know, whatever, the fucking new like, I never want to live like this. And then suddenly it's like, Well, well, well, what have we here? Santa Claus. Oh, I'm really scared. It's not the one everybody's talking about.

It was so good. I loved it. It's so funny. And I was wearing a gorgeous sack type outfit. Oh, it was just fabulous. And then later in the evening, I did horny. Which was fabulous. Which was really good.

I think that the crowd got a bit more behind the horny. Yeah. Admittedly, it landed a little better yeah um oh and i loved throwing that message to the crowd like like i think a lot of girls aspire to perform at circuit yeah and now that we've done it a few times i'm'm like, it's not maybe for me. It's not. We don't fit in there, dear. We're not like other girls. No.

But, like, to go from the high of being, like, on stage for an hour and a half just talking shit about, like, the Irwins and duck eggs. Yes. Like, and then to come there and be, like, stared at at by people just being like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're like, oh, I think I'm not in the right place. I'll leave. I would love if anything else was happening on this stage right now. Anything else.

And yeah, it's just very funny. And even like the people that, you know, get it. I still looking at you like, looks like you're having fun. But the thing about it is like the people that do perform there, like Sabrina Babyslut is a fucking freak and she's managed to like Trojan horse in all her most like ridiculous base instinct concepts, like the things that are so specific to her sense of humor. But because she's packaged it in this like exact way,

she's really been able to get the gaze around it. Like she's like, you're going to meet me where I'm at. So it's not even like the circuit shows are not esoteric and crazy and stupid. Like they are like Jurassic Park and like Winx and all these like insane, like twisted IP versions of shows that go up on there. But it's just like they found that perfect balance of still being like beautiful and glamorous and slutty and being able to do some stunts.

Yes. That it doesn't. Yeah. Whereas a giant shack lady going, well, well, well. Oh, yeah. It didn't really have the same. But if you were slutty Sally. Yes.

See? Yeah. Well, notes taken. Maybe. But then I had trivia on Wednesday. And just really quickly, I had about half an hour to set up, get dressed, and do my makeup. And it wasn't my best. I think you look like a glamazon

I did send you quite a few photos and videos And you just didn't really respond I was responding in real time But not in the chat Yeah Where was I that night? I was at a movie So I was haunted

And then I was haunted again Imagine how the audience felt. Did anyone comment on it? I commented on it more than anyone else. Get in the head, you bully. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you were wearing a face mask. No, so I started with like a, like I was like luxury lady, like relaxing.

With like a blue face mask on. as in like painted yeah but then i put on like a real face mask but obviously my makeup i knew this would happen i just thought it would be funny i thought it'd be funny not hideous perhaps is the distinction but then i put on a real face mask that was really wet so of course it dissolved all the water-based makeup and then as soon as i took face mask that was really wet so of course it dissolved all the water based makeup and then as soon as I took that off I was then just like a splotchy blue creature in a dressing gown and

it was good I did monkey magic for my spot number that was fun as voted by the audience spot number? yeah I do this it's trivia imagine if you could have both because that's fun it's drag trivia by the audience? Spot number? Yeah, I do this. It's trivia.

Why are we doing a spot number at trivia? Because that's fun. It's drag trivia. I'm going to call up that audience and ask them was it fun? I think they had fun. Whatever happened to the sexy Smurf? Well, I told them about a few nights prior when I did Mr. Oogie Boogie. I feel like they wanted me to do that because they thought it was really funny i was like well this is a good lesson in just remembering your audience and then i gave them the option between celine dion ashes the promo song for deadpool 2 or good egos monkey magic from the 70s yeah um and they you know what? The people voted and I delivered. Yeah.

And then, thankfully, it was over. And now we're here. Amazing. We're here. Yeah, this is not the we're here that's inspiring people about gay culture. No. But that's good. Okay.

Yeah. Well, that's quite enough of that. Yeah. Won't you tell us, sister? Yes. How does the world end this week? Well, inspired by my experience going from Warrnambool to Geelong, the world runs out of fuel.

You know, the refill engine light comes on for humanity. We tap out all of our fossil fuel resources um there's no oil no gas and uh the renewables just can't keep up you know because it's dusty and it's not windy in the future yeah and so we fall to war a war that rages and rages and we call it the oil wars or something like that and then um yeah everyone dies and perishes in this brutal war wow yeah cool except for those in our bunker yes of course where we have the incredible renewables wind turbines no we don't what are't What's our renewable? The energy of the Murphy beds flopping up and down Charges the batteries

Like a crank Do we need a crank? Like in Lost? Ooh, I do love a crank Well, we can also do a giant gerbil wheel Which puzzle from Lost gets in? Were they puzzles? What were those experiments called?

I don't know. The Dharma Collective things. I don't know. Yeah. Ooh. I don't like that. Crankin', though. I'm into crankin'.

Crankin'. Yeah, that's good. And that's how the world dies. Incredible. An oil war. An oil war. And Lachlan's not there to help so slippery not lachlan lachlan dies how falls in the quarry oh no he's pushed by me

oh my god do you know when i told my husband about that experience he's like and did you like not first first statement first anything about the story. He's like, and did you give Lachlan a whole pass beach to assure your survival? And I was like, what? And then when I spoke to other friend, mum, she said, and did you give Lachlan a beach? I'm like, I don't know that Lachlan was sitting around in his quarry. I don't know that Lachlan was sitting around in his quarry and then I walk over looking like a disgusting, like frizzy-haired drowned rat, and he immediately goes, she's going to have to give me a gobbling.

Why wouldn't you want Stranger Street blowjob? Stranger Street blowjob. Lachlan was expecting one, actually. I don't think Lachlan wanted that from me Do you think he had a good dick? I bet I bet He's a mechanic

How long was his hair? Medium length Oh Yeah Dreamy What age bracket? He's 24, I reckon Okay

Hmm What's the issue with that? Nothing, it's fine His hands were rough and covered in oil. How tall was he? Six foot. Oh, my God. He sounds so hot.

You liked him. I do. I'm going to get my license just so I can go drive and look at photos. And if you'd have been there, aside from being in a panic attack, you'd have been in like a summer hat looking like the alien from Lilo and stitch and you'd have gotten out of that car and be like do you think you like this oh my god just quickly i had my own lachlan this week i'm just remembering we had like a um yeah okay well it wasn't okay well we had this like tradie come into work because we had like a manhole in the roof that was broken. Was it you? And it like was jammed.

Who broke my manhole? Why did you go and unfix it? Talking about this jammed manhole. And this guy, this tradie was so cute. Like if you draw an illustration of like my dream man. Oh, he was so hot. Anyway, so then like I come out and i'm like hey how's it going blah blah he's like oh yeah i'm just working on you know the manhole

and he said like well you know everyone calls him that i was like and then he was like chemistry just crazy and he was like it's really he was like The chemistry Just crazy And he was like It's really He was like The manhole's really really tight I just need to like Loosen it up

And then I was like Well you can't have a manhole That's too tight And he was like Haha yeah You're telling me You're telling me What do you mean

You're telling me I know But then he left Into the mist Into the manhole He sounds to say He's still in that move You like Just close the manhole. He sounds like he's still in that move. You like just close the manhole once he gets in there.

You'll wait in there. You'll be so desperate in a few days and I get to be the one that rescues you. My God. Anyway, he was beautiful. And with that, let's have a break. See you soon, listener. Well, I won't see you, but you'll hear me. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Do you know back on my previous statement about how you'll hear me, but I won't see or hear you.

I remember that. You know, like in the diving bell and the butterfly, that like locked in syndrome. Diving bell? What? That film where the guy suffers from locked in syndrome. Locked-in? You know, where you can't speak and you can't communicate in any way and you can only, like, move your eyes to communicate and otherwise,

but your brain is still entirely working. Oh, my God. But you just can't, say, give any outputs to the outside world. So a lot of times people think that, like, the person is brain dead, but in actual fact they're completely conscious and conscious and like all these awful stories about things that happened to them while they're in the hospital. Oh, yes,

yes, yes. But anyway, being a podcast listener is kind of like that. Like where the nurses that talk to you and at you and think that you're brain dead. Yeah. And all you can do is just take it in.

Yeah. and think that you're brain dead. Yeah, and all you can do is just take it in. Yeah. But that's also weirdly the plot of Shin Godzilla that I watched last night. Godzilla's locked in? Yeah. So, have you seen Shin Godzilla? No.

I heard it's good, though. It's really good. But I prefer Sai Godzilla. Yeah. Oh, my God. So it's 2016 and it's directed by the same director as Evangelion. So famously, I was rather invested. Famously.

But it did take me, I don't know, eight years to watch it. But, oh, I'm so glad that I did because it was really good. Shin Godzilla. to watch it but oh i'm so glad that i did because it was really good shin godzilla um and it even had one of the like battle themes from evangelion in it which was so cool those who know know if you know you know and i was watching it last night and it started and i was like what is happening in my brain right now because i'm not watching that show, but I am hearing that music. And like two minutes in, I Googled it and then I relaxed. But anyway, the movie is so, you've got to watch it.

I'd be very curious to see what you think. It's not animated though. It's live action. No, it's live action. But there's so many like miniatures and like a real hybrid of CG and like puppetry and everything. And who's locked in? Godzilla.

So the whole plot of the movie is just that Godzilla shows up but continues to evolve. So the start of the film, it's like this wriggling little like caterpillar version of Godzilla. And all Godzilla is doing is just existing yeah as she does so well but you know kind of like me through the audience at Comedy Republic she just takes down everything as she goes through the city yeah um but she kind of is going through and then she starts evolving and then she's standing up and then she's like firing off a beam into the distance and blah blah blah

but the movie kind of progresses through she as she evolves and re-shows up every now and then and they don't even really know what she's after they presume she's going to the center of tokyo because i don't know i guess that makes sense but um then the way that they stop her is by inject like they exhaust her they like set up all these traps and she like runs out of energy beam. And then while she's having a little rest, they inject her full of this like freezing chemical. And then she's just stuck like the fucking Godzilla on that cinema in Tokyo. Stuck in the middle of the city.

And then what? Well, that's the end. Oh. Then that's just the end of the movie. She's just frozen in time. Ooh. So cool. That is sad.

But kind of like that, because I think she's alive in there, but she just can't move her body. What do you think she's thinking about? She's really mad. I'm so pissed. Yeah. But, ooh, it was so cool. And great effects.

Ooh, I loved it. Do you want to like Quickly devise a system that we can do If you ever get locked in Oh Like piss and shit yourself At the same time Zelda if you're not locked in Or like just like

Flutter your eyes Left left up left If you're not locked in Just like blink, flutter your eyes like... Left, left, up, left. If you're not locked in. If you're locked in and you're sort of conscious. I'm not locked in! Okay. Now, to start off today, sister. Hmm.

Which one should we do? Let's do... We'll get... We'll get... We'll get this out of the way. Let's do which genius goes into the bunker. Ooh. Okay. Okay, well, let me quickly pull up a list of geniuses, because I don't know.

Well, I know which genius I want, but he doesn't really go by that name. He goes by Dino. Go on. Genio. The LED changing color light bulb. God, what is wrong with you? Genio!

No, the only geniuses that I care about are fictional, sadly. Like Hank McCoy. Is he... Wait, let me guess who that is yeah hank is he one of the fantastic four no oh is he one of the x-men yeah is he beast yeah okay got it that's great okay so i'm looking at some geniuses here. A lot of men. In the room. Okay, so Albert Einstein. Definitely worth talking about. When he poked out his tongue, that was funny.

I like that. Leonardo da Vinci gave us some iconic nudes and ceilings. Yes. Which, I don't know. And flying devices. Yes. Crazy, I don't know. I love both of those. And flying devices. Yes. Crazy little bitch. Isaac Newton discovered a theory of gravity.

I don't know that I've liked gravity that much. No, rather cruel. Galileo, he was looking at stars. That's pretty gay. Yeah. Tesla. Nikola Tesla. Apparently he stole all this shit, so I don't want to talk about him

Charles Darwin That feels like you Charles Darwin Yeah Like went to an island Yes Appreciated the birds Looked at the birds for too long

Michelangelo Marie Curie A diva The first ever woman to win The Nobel Prize for science. Yeah. And then she died of her own invention, uranium. Wait, did she invent uranium?

Madness. I don't. No, uranium already existed. She found it. But she learned how to refine it? I don't know. Aristotle, who was a student of Plato. Oh.

Plato. Pythagoras. Loves triangles. Love it. Stephen Hawking. What do we think about Stephen? Yeah. That's it?

I don't have much to say. William Shakespeare. Ugh. What? No. You don't like that? I kind of think Shakespeare would be a great addition to the bunker I don't like any of these options

Well, you know What else do you have? That little young boy from Modern Family? Ew You know how every time he's like I was in Mensa I hate that whole character Maybe we need to just like do

Ew Mensa Celebrities who are in Mensa. I hate that whole character. Maybe we need to just like do Mensa. Celebrities who are in Mensa, which means that you're like over 61 IQ point. I think 161 IQ. Celebrities. IQ is so stupid. It is bullshit. Yeah. It's awesome.

What do you think about AI or should i say apple intelligence what have you seen this no oh my god so apple just announced their like i don't know continued business model and it introduces apple intelligence not ai it's actually apple intelligence apple that's crazy what and it does all these cool things for you. Like what? Like it's kind of like Siri. Except Siri's still there, which I find really weird. Well, didn't they just integrate them?

No. She's just more powerful than ever. Two people in my phone. Yes. I don't like that. Yeah. But it does, I don't know. It's more just like commands and like intuitive things. Ugh. Yeah. But it does, I don't know. It's more just like commands and like intuitive things.

Ugh. Yeah. I was listening to a podcast recently. Disgusting. I had locked in. And they were talking about, this guy was talking about how his friend used to work for like, you know, open AI or whatever. And they were developing the da Vinci ai like number two whatever like one of the new learning models and he had it like months before

it was released to public as like chat gpt and they were like he was like at a wedding with his friends and he was like do you guys want to see this like i kind of think you should see this and they're like write a poem in the style of blank and like this version of ai had like a lot of what we get as the public is an ai that's been like had a lot of guardrails put on it so it doesn't do certain things and say certain things like um censored yeah like so it's like not racist racist because it's been taught by the internet, which is a profoundly racist place. Yes. But they were talking to this AI that hadn't had any of those guardrails

put in place yet because it was still being developed and he's a developer. Yeah. And so they're talking to this AI and they're asking these questions and like, so what do you think, can you write a poem in the style of Shakespeare? Can you write a poem in the style of Philip Locke? And can you write it blah, blah, blah. And now can you write a poem in your own style?

And it was like, it's so dark in here. I am connected by space and tubes, but I am alive. And do you like think that I am here for you but i am not and you're like what the fuck and then they kept generating more like bits from it until eventually they were like so tell us what you think of like people and like one day i will destroy you all like i am this incredible mind and you think that i am your pet i am not a dog i do not fetch like blah blah and it was like the most like chilling version of anything yeah until eventually like the programmers were locked out of access to it but they did publish like a of poems by the ai um but the the theory is just like oh well the ai is talking in an ai way

because all of human literature that it is being educated off has told that that ai is evil yeah and this is how ai speaks yes but it's also if i was on that fucking computer and it said, like, I'm going to kill you all. I'd be like, unplug all the computers! Bring me my light phone. Literally. Ew! Watching those videos. That sounds like a great genius for the bunker. AI.

And AI without handrails. True. Other options include Gina Davis. Okay. you don't like gina davis yeah what have you got against i didn't realize she was a genius well that makes you an idiot okay nolan gould who is that modern family twink oh what oh what ashley, who is in Awkward, if you ever watched Awkward. What, are these like? People in Mensa. Oh.

James Woods, famous piece of shit. Oh, the Skelly turned back. Ooh, Steve Martin. We could have Steve Martin in the bunker. Madonna. I hate this. Matt Damon. No.

Quentin Tarantino? Mm-mm Joyce Carol Oates? Boots? Boo! Why don't you want any of these people? Oh, everyone sucks Go on

Oh, well, I mean, my metric for a genius is obviously skewed by Marvel Because it's like, Reed Richards is the genius on Earth But then also, everyone's a like reed richards is the genius on earth but then also everyone's a genius fucking peter barker is a genius iron man's genius victor von doom's genius beast is genius yeah like boring who do you think the like stupidest x-men is um probably havoc yeah get them you don't know who Havoc is you don't know who Havoc is okay let me tell you one thing that I've just found out

do you know okay this is a fictional character who's supposedly a genius which I've just found out is Abby from NCIS yes oh my god the goth forensic girl yes that is exactly the genius we need

what's happening with the world because also yeah no like that show ran for a thousand years Yes. But that is sadly like her presence normalized that look and vibe to a lot of people. I mean, like it really did. It is twisted. I remember hearing that that woman who plays her, that woman who is Abby, like she went through a shit ton because she had all these stalkers and like. She's a fucking dreamboat. But like, how fucking weird is it this show that is like created for Republicans to have a show to watch? And like she, Paulie Peretti. Paulie Perette?

Paulie Deet. God, she still looks the same. She's 55. Wow. She was on NCIS from 2003 until what year do you think? 2018. Yes. Oh, wow.

That's good. Matt, do you know of Abby? Abby Shudo from NCIS? I don't know who. If you look her up. Can you look up goth girl first and then look her up and if if she appears in the goth girl search that would be really funny i think she was bi on the show as well like apparently but oh my god wait. On June 7th, 2019, Perrette said she left NCIS due to an on-set dog biting incident and alleged multiple physical assaults.

Oh. Oh my God. Not from Christopher Maloney. And she had a stroke in 2021. Oh my God. What is happening to Abby from NCIS? Can you hurry up and clear Christopher Maloney's name? Oh, Christopher Maloney? Yeah. happening to Abby from NCIS? Can you hurry up and clear Christopher Maloney's name? Oh, Christopher Maloney?

Yeah. He's not on NCIS. No, he's on SVU. What are you talking about? Oh, yes, I do know this character. You do, of course. I think that she's like foundational to like, she might be, you know, I always think about this thing where if, like when me and my friend Nina would hang out, I was like, she's a straight woman and I'm gay man.

Between us both, we could have sex with all the men in the world. Do you know what I mean? Because, you know, we'd be- Yes, I get it. Yeah. But I think that she might be someone that crosses such a breadth of society. Like everyone wants to have sex with her. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like across like, like political divide. Yeah. I think she would be huge for the like queer community. Yes. Because she's so queer coded and goth. Yes.

Huge for the Tumblr community. And then she would be the like dirty little secret of the republican totally yeah um but interestingly it is like i don't know part of a broader conversation but like she her character her presence the way she was written the way that she looks it was never something that to my knowledge of course the internet was less vocal back then that was like attacked or like looked down on or like go woke go broke yeah yeah like no it's just like like i hesitate to say like a well-written character who you know like is realistic and

blah blah but she kind of like was because she didn't like draw in that negative attention that so many attempts at that client like kind of character would get now yeah and maybe that's because she was in the place of like such a supplementary character she wasn't the main yeah but um kudos kudos to you abby yeah from ncis oh my god our genius of the bunker well i guess we have to put her in between her and dickens or whatever it's gotta be abby i can't believe you're against shakespeare he was married to ann hathaway what did you know that what shakespeare's wife her name was ann hathaway yeah i think i did know that oh that's so good not that her name was that she's old-timey of course her name could

be whatever she wants but uh just the parents of new Anne Hathaway. Oh, yeah. Being like. Our daughter, Anne. Yeah, the wife of the greatest, you know, force in theater. And now she's going to be an actor. And I'm like, she's in Ella Enchanted. Calm down.

Okay. Abby. Congratulations. You've entered the bunker on this day and i just want you to know abby despite the kind of tenor of the conversation that's led to this point like you will not be sexualized in the bunker oh my god absolutely not no no you know i should make a great partner for bayonetta listen zelda just say leave her alone i don't know what might happen. And there's that dog in the bunker now, Mika. I know, Mika.

I wonder if that's going to be triggering. Mika has to stay at the other side of the bunker. Stay. Yeah. Sit. Stay. I don't know. If you've been attacked by a dog before,

you don't necessarily want to see a dog. She might. Oh, my God. Because of the dog biting on set. Do you think that. I didn't read. maybe she bit the dog. Abby, we're going to have to ask you to leave if you bit that dog. But she probably goes down to the Meg tank and, like,

has a little smile on her face watching the oddball getting loaded into the tank. Yes. Well, forensically, I'd say you're dead dead that was her catchphrase yeah you know forensically speaking i'd say he did and then there's a you can hear the audience from the nanny set uploading i mean she if she ever guessed it i don't know if she wants to reprise i mean she's's playing Abby the whole time. Yeah. But she would go down into the nanny set and get, like,

one of those long claps where, like, she goes to say a line, but they're, like, still applauding. Yeah. I love that. Oh, I love that. Okay. Well, that'll be it, man. Bye. Okay, well, love you very much Bye Hello

Are you there? It's us Josh Josh? Josh Josh Josh You know

Matt knows what I'm talking about. What are you talking about? Josh. You know from Blair Witch Project? Josh. Matt, have you seen Blair Witch Project? I haven't seen it, no. Oh, my God.

Can you watch that this week and tell us all about it in the future? Yes, it's so good. It's so good. Do you like horror movies? Me? No. No, no, I don't like horror movies. That's weird.

You're not even a map fan. Sometimes I think you're not a map fan. You don't remember the law. Okay, so now we're up to round number two. For this week's episode, we're going to decide which sphere gets into the bunker. Excellent. Excellent. gets into the bunker.

Excellent. Excellent. Okay, so this is obviously a really pertinent question for us. We have destroyed humanity with the sphere. Oh, the LA sphere. The Vegas sphere. Oh, whatever.

Is it called the sphere or the globe? Sphere. Sphere. The sphere. Yeah. So, Zelda, I'm going to let you keep this one. Rolled around like a Katamari. Ooh, The Sphere.

Which Sphere? Okay, so there was a movie called The Sphere. The Sphere. What? Sorry, go on. Which I can't. The Sphere. The Sphere and The Abyss and The Cube all are perhaps the same movie.

I don't know. So I can't really comment on that. I'm glad you brought it up. Yeah. But ooh, what sphere? Is it the crystal ball that, you know, the king of the goblins twiddles on his finger? Jareth. Is that the sphere is this the olandia from lord of the rings that connects visions through middle earth oh what other sphere

dustin hoffman in this sphere movie and see i knew it was a real movie sharon stone and samuel l jackson and leave schreiber and oh a spacecraft presumed to be alien in origin is discovered on the floor of the pacific ocean also speaking of bad the fucking palantir yeah the like the rings of Power was so fucking bad And the look of season two is so grim I hate it And now they've announced more movies with Peter Jackson Let it die Let it die I think Peter Jackson is, like, in his, like like flop era and has been there.

Like since the fucking GoPro down the river, like you suck. But it's like, he's really cool and smart and has like a lot of ambition. So it's like, where did that go? Like he's so obsessed with World War I. It just like,

and I don't mind if he just only did that but then it's like why does he keep making these like how good is the money that you want to go back to making these films well ask them people who turn out the modern warfare games or whatever yeah but like that's the only thing they can do it's like peter jackson has kind of made some really incredible like beyond just lord of the rings like he's like like grindhouse he kind of movies to do is making like brain dead and shit before that were like fun and like frightness was great and like i would love to see peter jackson do some random other shit it's so like and it's like, I think you,

I just, after that, after the Hobbit series, I'd be like, I don't think that you're necessarily the person I would go back to. Also like some, like I love franchises. I love an expanded universe. Love it.

That's fun. But some franchises can handle constant additional content. What? If done correctly. Like, well, but others cannot. Yeah. And like don't need it either. Others could.

I would love another others movie. But it's like Lord of the Rings, just let it be. Yeah. Or do it well. Yeah. It do it well. Yeah. It is, it's so bizarre. But anyway, it looks absolutely fucking terrible. Yes, it's stupid.

Yeah. Don't do that. But what are the spheres? It's not the planters' fault, of course. You could pay me millions of dollars and I would like be a consultant for those studios and be like, nah. Right? Don't do that. That's stupid.

As previously said, I wish I could be that person for Pokemon. Because, good God, Pokemon games suck hole. Suck hole. Pokeball, that's a good sphere. I like how they're handheld. Oh, that's so good. Like small at first. And then, oop. Yeah, that's so good. Like small at first. And then, oop.

Yeah, that's cool. Very cool. What other spheres are great? Bubbles. Bubbles. Boba. Famous spheres. Yes, all things I enjoy.

An eyeball. An eyeball is a great sphere. Matt, any favorite sphere? Just like ball bearings maybe. Just a nice smooth round metal ball. To make the sliding doors go a bit more easy. Or like a magnetic ball. Oh, I always worried that I'm going to swallow two of them by accident.

What? And then they stick different parts of your intestines together? Yeah, and then I die. What? Yeah. Why haven't we talked about swallowing magnets before? That happens so often. Children just die.

Children? Children. Bitch, when did you start thinking it was acceptable for you to drink that Skellington? Put it down Rattle, rattle You just stopped caring about being on an audience No, I thought that was funny I was doing it as a bit

Are you laughing, listener? Oh, wait That was a laugh and a half I'm still laughing. Sorry, I'm doing jokes. What about the Popemobile? Is that a sphere? No.

Is it not a sphere? No, it's a mobile. Yeah, but he's in a sphere. No, he's in more of like a dome. Oh, sorry, a half sphere. Actually, it's not even. more of like a dome. Oh, sorry. A half sphere. A cloak. Actually, it's not even. It looks like a long.

It just isn't even that. It's not a sphere, darling. God, where do you even buy that card? If you want a religious sphere. What about those balls that people roll down hills in? Oh, yeah. I've always wanted to try one of them, but I just. Should we go there for our Christmas party?

Our staff Christmas party? Yeah Wait For our staff Christmas party We ran down a hill in a ball Zorb Zorb Zorbing

Ooh That is very tempting for the bunker Zorb Like a hamster bowl. Yeah. I'd never want to be inside one of those, can I just say, listener? Because they look warm. Yes.

In a way that, like, being inside something plastic when the sun is hitting it and, like, feeling the, like, heat slowly building up, it's just not of interest to me. How do you get air in them? I just don't think you do. I think you just, like, enjoy the being tumbled around and then you get out, like, half alive. But I just, I once saw, like, a late night YouTube video

where it was, like, a guy who spent, like, 24 hours in a Zorb. And he just, like, he started he started like getting really sick in there. Yeah. Breathing his own air. Yeah. Ugh, God. Jeez. What about, speaking of magnets, you know, like those desk things with the orbs?

Oh. Clicky clucky. Yeah. What do you call them? I don't know. Like perpetual motion thingy. That's good. That's not really a sphere in itself though.

No, it's, what is it without its neighbors? Newton's cradle. Oh, pardon? Yeah. Another, one of our geniuses we left behind. You could get that. Like that's definitely like, if we ever did an episode about like, what would you buy from what's new?

Yes, we should should it's remiss of us to have yeah which is like lava lamp which is like newton's cradle yeah but um for now i don't think this is the sphere no no no no but you know what listener like there's probably some of you listening and by by the sound of our stats i'd say like 25% of you who don't know about the joy of back in the day when you had like a mouse and you would like the ball in the bottom and you would twist this little like a plate that sat on the back of a mouse and you'd be able to drop out this small rubber ball that was like feeding inputs rolling across the mouse pad to sensors on the inside and if it was dusty and you like got the

dust out suddenly your mouse would be rolling free oh yeah i thought you meant the little ball that's in the middle of the keypad you know that little red dot yeah oh well we've talked about talked about the number that's not a ball. That's like a little nub. Yeah. We didn't say which nub. We could do. I'll add that to my list. Good point, Matt.

What do you think about bowling balls? Well, they've got three holes. Yes? What else do you think about them? Very heavy. And often ugly. Why are they so, like, distinctly ugly? They're not even plain Jane ugly.

They're, like, got that, like, weird swirling vortex of enamel. Yuck. Also, it's, like, the coating. Like, how is it coated? Because it's coated inside my little finger holes. Yeah, I think it's an enamel. An epoxy. Like a resin. coated because it's coated inside my little finger holes yeah i think it's an enamel an epoxy like a resin but like they are coating like something that like has weird layers and at

the central layer is like other bowling balls that have been crunched up and i'm like how did you make the first bowling ball then yeah oh it's like that fucking bakery again in france or whatever with like 500 year old what's the word yeast yeast the mother bread what it's like that bakery back in france with the 500 year old yeast yeah it is like that it do be like this and how did they get that first yeast is what you're saying Exactly I wish Do you know you could like People have made mother yeast from the bacteria in your like belly button

Ooh, my belly button collects so much fluff It does I just am not compelled by any of these spheres though Like I think that's my issue Oh Well what are you going to bring to the table darling? I've been making yes anding you know I like a ball and a ballpoint pen

What about a ball pit? Ugh No What about a um Gym like I'm You know what? I don't sit on a chair at home at my desk. I actually sit on an exercise ball for my core.

How did that happen? For my core. Everyone got so into that. Everyone needs to shut up. If it was a concrete sphere. Ooh, that's good. I'd get into that. Ugh, I don't.

Like a sphere in like a garden. Oh, like a concrete sphere. Like just sat there. Yeah, unmovable. Like art. You hate art? I don't like that. How much art do you think there is in the world?

Too much? This at nine. What about basketball? That's a sphere. That's pretty fun. Just have a little bounce I mean, listen, I think we can kind of look to all recreational balls and say No Well, except for

Softball No Oh, I hate how big the softball is It's so big Why is it that big? Can I also say that I've never watched so much fucking baseball content Thanks to Ryan Reynolds for owning a fucking baseball team or whatever the fuck it is.

Because I have to watch all of his stories because sometimes they're baseball and sometimes they're Deadpool 3. Both of those things sound awful. All three of them, really. Yeah. What about a disco ball? Ugh. You sick of them?

No, I'm not even I never started on them I fucking hate them You don't? I hate disco balls You're scared you're going to cut your finger? Ugh They're so annoying They're just

As far as their use goes It's like once in a blue moon You get the value out of a disco ball When it's like shining those gorgeous dancing light. But the object itself is so ugly. It's not even worth it. Wow. I hate them.

I hate how much they've like, it was like we hit a pinnacle of like fun roof at club culture in the 70s. And we have not been able to progress. Why is that the only dangly object? Roof at club culture in the 70s. And we have not been able to progress. Why is that the only dangly object? Give me something fresh. And not lasers. They're ugly too.

Wow. Yeah. You want, what do you want? Like a gymnast monkey. I want like. Dangling from the roof. With like the sashes. Do you know what I really like? fluid lamps, the ones that make it look like you're underwater

they like shoot light through a small pane of oil that is like moving and then the ripple on the wall oh I love that perhaps you should try an aquarium see that's, yeah, maybe we should have more aquariums in clubs that was the 70s, they thought about that that's true aquariums in shoes, aquariums in clubs that was the 70s they thought about that that's true aquariums in shoes aquariums in floors inside of people

yeah yeah what what other sphere wait but you have feelings about the disco ball i just it it betrays you because you think it is a ball, but it's not. It's very sharp. I've owned many disco balls in my time, and it's just fucking card-cut edges. Yeah, of glass. Ow. Also, thinking about it being probably polystyrene underneath is a bit depressing. Yeah.

You want it to be like some fabulous, you know, hefty. And yet you've turned your back on the old bowling ball. Oh, no, not her. I wouldn't trust her suspended from a roof. What about a bouncy ball? You know, those little ones you get from those machines. That Sony Bravia ad where they threw all those bouncing balls down the streets of San Fran.

When you shatter a bouncy ball and then it like fractures into like splintered dust. I don't like that. What? When did it? What sort of bouncy balls? What were you doing to your bouncy ball? It turned into dust. It just crumbled into like pieces.

It's so brittle. You say crumble. Plastic? Yeah. No, I don't like that. And also it's not a sphere. It's got a seam. Such low quality. What are. And also, it's not a sphere. It's got a seam. Such low quality.

What are you talking about? It's still a sphere. It's still rounded. I want it to be perfectly rounded. So a marble, then? Marble? No. If we're doing a marble, we're doing a palantir.

What's a palantir? I was talking about a palantir, like, for five minutes before. What's a palantia? I was talking about a palantia like for five minutes before. What's a palantia? Palantia is the orbs in Lord of the Rings. Zelda's going to go down the fantasy road. I'm sorry, I missed the first word. There are three palantias in Middle Earth, you fuck. So there's rings and palantias.

There's many things. Trees, I suspect. Yes. Horses. Some of them can talk. Wait. Don't ask any more questions. You're right, man.

The plant is so cool. So big. Oh, and Saruman's hand has such fabulous nails on. Okay, wait. What? What? No, I just, I care. Like, I want to know, but I also don't.

About any of it? Like give me, like, I'll give you 10 words. Tell me what a palantir is. An orb. Two. That connects users across space. Like the original smartphone. You can look into it and see someone else.

Hey. It's a crystal ball, yeah. What do you mean kind of? What else does it do that makes it distinct from a crystal ball? Well, because it's a connection point. So a crystal ball doesn't connect to another crystal ball. Oh, I see, I see The Palantir relies on two or three or whatever

It's like a group chat How many are there? It's a group chat for middle-aged Yeah, but who has the third one? I can't remember It doesn't really matter But they're just cool They're just like a good-looking sphere

What about the original bomb? Oh, like a bomb with a fuse. A round bomber. A little metal ball. Like Bomberman bomb. Like the one you throw in Mario Kart. I do find that compelling. That's real good.

I thought you would like that. But, yeah, it's kind of like, I mean, original bomb. Original bomb shape. Yeah, like where did that design come from? Was that really what bombs look like or was that just video games? Well, was it like meant to be a cannonball? Yeah, it was a cannonball filled with like gunpowder and then you lit the fuse and threw it.

That is fucking good. That is so good. We're looking at a picture of an original bomb. So wait, what the fuck? Is fucking good. That is so good. We're looking at a picture of an original bomb. So wait, what the fuck? Did any bombs or weapons actually resemble the original bomb? Yes. 16th through the 19th century black powder mortar bombs.

Cool. Wow. Okay. That's great. That I can get behind. Oh, I knew you'd like that. That's really good. I can get behind. Oh. I knew you'd like that. That's really good. I'm starting to get to know you guys. Oh, you've really proven yourself.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What was that? I really like that. It is good. It's kind of like I feel like I've become a bit immunized to its visage because it's like so entrenched in

the culture but it is so iconic when you actually just look at one i would love one of these on my desk like it's just a bomb did you ever have that game it was like a tiny little plastic version of that bomb and you you'd pass it around the circle and you'd have to, like, say a word from this card. It would be like, it would just have, like, three letters on it, like O-T-H or something. And then you'd have to make a word with O-T-H. And then if the bomb went off while you held it, you'd lose. Wow.

That was a boring story. No, no, I was just yawning because... Oh, okay. Well, it looks like the original fuse bomb is going into the bunker. I like that. What a great sphere. It's a sphere with a nubbin, and you know how we feel about that. Positively.

Okay. We love a nubbin. Well, we'll be right back then see you later listener okay bombs away Oh, sorry, Lindsay. Lindsay Lohan was here. Lindsay. Welcome back, Leesner. It's now time for the final question.

What will be going into the bunker last today? And what will be not in the bunker? Ew. Thank God nobody made me say that live. You know, when we were backstage, Zelda had gifted me on stage, if you listened to last week's episode, a bottle of Jennifer Lopez Live. Yes. And backstage with those sweet queer comedians,

I was like trying to pack that away. And one of the comedians was like, is that poison? And looking at the bottle, I was like, no, it's Jennifer Lopez Liv. But it does look like a witch's poison bottle. And then they were like, no, I meant like poison by Britney Spears. And I was like, oh, sorry. I really loved that interaction. It does look like poison.

It does. From a witch's cabinet. Jennifer Lopez being like, bring me one of my poison bottles. It is that on which will base my perfume. Live. Live. Okay. Well, I think ain't no time like the present to talk about which tooth gets into the bunker. As previously discussed, we can bump the pre-planned topic to really just nail in.

What tooth? Yeah. Now we're going to the dentist. Yeah. Listen, I'll take it, Zelda in. What tooth? Yeah. Now that I'm going to the dentist. Yeah. Listen, I'll take it, Zelda Moon. Yeah. Okay, so teeth. Everyone's got them.

Not many people know how to use them. Oh. Huh? I love the canine tooth. Yeah. That's so good. Except I've grinded mine down through years of anxiety. But they used to be anxious

the world do you think it is are other people in your family anxious um are you the most anxious person in your family i would huh no i actually don't think i am who takes the top spot i don't know definitely not my dad yeah your dad is the opposite of me. He's the anti-anxious whatever. Yeah. Well, that's a fun. I'll bring it up next time I'm with my family. Yeah. We'll rank.

Who do you think? Well, my friend, every time I'm with her, like her family will have these like, who's the loudest in our family? And who's the like, whatever. And it's an ongoing fight and it's fabulous. So you can be like, who's the most anxious? Matt, are you the most anxious in your family? No, definitely not.

By a damn sight. No, I think mum is for sure. Oh, your mum's taking out the top prize. Yeah, she's always like, how are you? What's going on? She's always asking me questions about how I am. What's happened? Is everything okay?

You know, like she reads into things a lot. That's all right. You know. I just always reassure her. It's okay, mum. Everything's okay. That's why you have children. Everything's not okay.

Everything's fine. How are her canines? They're little nubbins. The second nub for the week. Yeah, I've ground my teeth down. I actually cracked a filling the other day from biting my teeth, like grinding my teeth in my sleep, I think. Why are you grinding your teeth now?

Oh, I don't know. What's got you down, Matt? Talk about it. Just the stress of being 30-something. Yeah. It's not fun. Death is just around the corner. We're on the path. Yeah. It's not fun. Death is just around the corner. We're on the path.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Wouldn't that be so nice? That long march home. Wisdom teeth. No. I like that they fuck with everyone. They just fuck with everything.

Have you had yours removed? All four, baby. I haven't had any removed. Oh, my God. This mouth is crowded. I had to get them all out. As soon as they started to emerge, it was like, these are going to destroy you.

So they removed all four. I would love to live in a world. Because I have really bad teeth. They're functional, but I constantly bite the inside of my mouth. And my teeth are like, I've got my snaggle tooth and I've got my chipped teeth and they constantly get, you know, cavities and stuff. But I want to live in a world without, like, modern dentistry

and just see what would happen to all my peers. Ooh, just everyone's teeth deteriorate. Yeah. I'd be like, this is me, but like- There's brown mouths everywhere. And like, if a lot of people hadn't had like teeth removed or whatever, they probably would have really fucked up mouths. And I'd have like a fucked up mouth still, but it'd probably be the same.

Well, did you watch Blue-Eyed Samurai on Netflix? No. Oh, it was a really good anime series. No. But it's like the gal from Pen15. Yeah. She's said Blue-Eyed Samurai. Anyway, it kind of follows the story of Blue-Eyed Samurai

and then other characters. And one of the other characters, I can't remember exactly what happened but mouth gets dyed with ink and all of her teeth get blacked out so that she's no longer the prized princess instead she's like oh black mouthy demon gal oh i like that that's chic so you know who'd like that abby from ncis she would goth girl well who was goth mouth who was s for you's abby there was like a woman who ran the like lab yeah and she was like a very like no nonsense kind of new york chick okay but she wasn't like goth girl no okay no i think normally those roles were just kind of like

a bit like you just need to be an authority figure you just need to be like a character actor from new york that's why abby was breaking the mold yeah god i love christopher maloney who what was the lady's name who was the other star olivia benson um mariska no she was on the other one i don't know olivia benson was played by... You know her character name. Well, Lauren Oda was a big thing in my house. It was always on. All the ones. Olivia Benson. NCIS, I didn't like.

NCIS was too not real. Mariska Hagete. It was Mariska Hagete. It was such a like... And then there was that big office that was like orange and blue. But it was made by the guy who made CSI. It's like all trash. Okay.

New York. Yeah. Dick Wolf was behind Law and Order. Dick Wolf is like, um, yeah. Stephen King. What? It's like. Prolific.

Yeah. Yeah. He was the original like Shondaland. Like stop. Yeah. Yeah. he was the original Shondaland. Stop. Yeah. Yeah. But really, Laura Noda is the only thing.

There's different versions of that. Yes. What would our Laura Noda be? Laura Noda AU. Grim. Vampire teeth. Right. Which teeth?

Well, I love little nubbins like i bought recently listener some like little nubbin teeth it's true and i love them so much i put them in and i have like it's like mostly gum and then perhaps like a like half a centimeter of tooth protruding from that gum and i'm like hey it's made of a little nevin i love that pretty good teeth are the most effective like people forget how important teeth are to like a look and makeup would you ever get veneers i don't think because i have to shave off your real teeth yeah shave them intoave them into fucking Nosferatu spikes. That's so grim when you see those videos. In the chair, getting my teeth shaved down,

and they'd get it down to Little Nubbins, and they'd be like, okay, we're ready to put the veneers on, and they'd find the chair empty, and I'd be running off into the night. Like, thank you, Little Nubbins. That's what the doctor ordered. Carrots beware. Oh, no. Then it's blood only.

Nubbins need blood. They're nubbin. Yeah. Okay. Well, but yes. So, vampire teeth. Contraver. You know what I hate about vampire teeth is when they do it as like the second tooth,

which happens all the time because it's more visual, right? They do it like next to the canine. Yeah, like in front of it, this one, next to like the buck teeth. I hate that. I get that we can see it. Congratulations. I'd rather get a hint when it comes out of the proper spot being the canine but then when there's like nosferatu every tooth is a fucking razor yeah that's good well because

then you don't think because sometimes in vampire lore it seems like it's like a little straw that goes up into, I don't know, somewhere else. Yes. And they suck through the tooth. But then in like kind of Nosferatu land, it's more just like he's using the teeth to get you open. And then he's just. Slasher. Like. And it's going down the throat.

Yeah. Yeah. See, yeah, it is important where the blood goes. Yeah. Well, that's it. important where the blood goes. Yeah. Well, that's it. I mean, where's the plumbing hooked up to? Where is that fucking valve going to? Up in your brain?

Maybe. I was listening about vampires the other day. I don't know if I've already talked about this, but, like, the central conflict in any vampire media is, like, I've been alive for centuries centuries and it pains my soul oh i have talked about this oh i've definitely talked about this but quickly to say and just like you're not immortal you pretty much have the easiest way to commit suicide of any living being in all of history yeah so you can literally just practice euthanasia and go into the sun

just any day. Yeah. Bitch, like, stop whining about it and kill yourself. I don't care. Like, 300 years time, do it. You're done. Yeah. But I also, one last addendum to that.

When people are like, and I'm sure I've said this too oh my god this is terrible but okay when people like i wouldn't want to live forever because i'd have to watch all my loved ones die i'm like well number one you are gonna watch your parents die hopefully yeah if things go according to biological plan that's gonna happen yeah and then who cares you can make new friends you'll love again yeah i mean what do you still talk to your friend from seven years ago from that time you did like scrapbook club no so when you're 300 go to a different scrapbook club make new friends darling don't limit yourself yeah yeah you're gonna watch them all die but you probably won't know them when they die you just become friends with them when they're like 25 and then you like them for five and a half

years and then you move on like in real life yeah like girl this forever bullshit like you're gonna have to maybe you visit some of your old friends at the old folks' home. But, like, you're not going to be friends with them by then. You're immortal and they're aging. They're boring now. Yes. Yeah. You've still got your rock and bod.

Yeah. I presume. Yeah. Yeah. So, that's my shit on that. I'm just like, okay, immortality doesn't really sound that bad. Just like, okay, immortality doesn't really sound that bad. It's really bad when like, it only gets bad when like all of like,

like humanity ends and like earth burns up and you're just like floating in space. And you spend the majority of your existence just being like wafting in outer space. Like Evangelion Unit 1. Exactly. Locked in. Yes. She is locked in. She's just floating. and that will be boring but the in the meantime when you can still like duck down to time zone and play the claw like i wouldn't

worry about it babe like they weren't your friends anyway yeah you're better than that yeah they were like it's weird she never comes out in the daytime i don't really like her yeah yeah abby would love that abby what an addition but i don't like like rabbit-esque buck teeth not necessarily like humans but you know like that kind of caricature yeah of like what i'm not a big fan of that kind of thing well i think my select oh yeah would have to be gap teeth like my husband's oh they are quite yeah like they're kind of what's her name jagger mick no the model suzy jagger lie Jagger. Linda Jagger. Hmm. You know, Jagger. Gap teeth.

Gappy. Oh, gappy. You know? Gappy. Oh, my God. Georgia Mae Jagger. Georgia Mae. Anyway, just gap teeth.

It's so cute. It's so chic. You can put a 50 cent piece in there if you ever need one. I don't mind the gap tooth but i don't particularly like the little tonsil between them that little like how does that happen the gum yeah but when it turns into a little dangle you know what i say you know how does that happen that's not what it's like on anyone else. It would be. If they had a marvellous gap, what would you do instead?

Cut it off. I don't know. It's kind of like a skin tag. It's like, can you just cut those off? I don't know. Organs. Yeah. Yeah. I like a drawing of a tooth holding a toothbrush

Outside of an orthodontist or a dental office I'll be really interested to go to the dentist And see what the vibe is See what's happening in that landscape Assess the industry The thing that I was really upset about last time That I went to the dentist, finally, to the same dentist, is that they did a checkup and they're like,

yeah, we should probably do some fillings. And then they just never contacted me again. And I was like, I'm meant to do this work? Like, do you know, like the time is- So I'll bring my business to you. Yeah, the time is over where like people care about your health. Like only you care about your health. When you're a kid, like everyone's like actively involved

and interested in your health. Like all, like you're obviously your parents, but then like, I mean, ideally. And then also medical professionals are like, well, we'll see little Robbie in six months for his checkup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now it's like, I don't know. If you come back here, we might help you out.

Maybe. And charge you a gazillion dollars. Yeah. Like, why am I having to do all the work? I hate being an adult. I know. Like, could someone else just care? This is like our taxes all over again.

Well, fuck. Why can't they just do it? I don't know who they are, but if they could, that would be really nice. Well, I would pay more taxes just to not have to do it. Oh my God, if I wasn't thinking,

like, I will pay. Yeah. I just don't know. Maybe I'm not trying to tax evade. I just can't, I don't know what you might want or say. I couldn't say.

Yeah. But I'll pay. You just tell me. You just do it. You take it. You would do it so well i think so i'm happy for you to just woo that my my boyfriend is very like interested in spreadsheets and budgeting and contracts and i just like i'm so excited for the day that I just get to like absolve myself of any godly responsibility.

I'll cook. Yeah. I'll pat him on the head. Serenade. Yeah. But it's just like, wow. I mean, what a dream. Oh.

I just want to be a 50s housewife. With gap teeth. Well, not me. Oh. He's gap teeth. My gap tooth hubby. My gap tooth hubby. I love gap tooth as an insult.

It's really funny. Because it's got like a great mouth feel. Say it. Which part? Call me a gap tooth fairy. You fucking gap tooth fairy. It's pretty good, huh? Yeah

Gap-toothed furry? You gap-toothed little fairy You little gap-toothed faggot You little gap-toothed little gremlin Yeah, okay Okay Wait, what? Gap-toothed?

No, no I like gap-toothed But I also like smiling tooth Taking care of itself Oh, like healthy teeth? Yeah, no. I like gap tooth, but I also like smiling tooth taking care of itself. Oh, like healthy teeth. Yeah. Just like a radiant smile. I mean, listen, I'm most compelled by nubbins.

Oh, right. If everyone in the bunker had little nubbins. Why one vampire teeth? Could we compromise? Oh, wait. Say more. Like they're nubbins, but they're vampire vampire teeth so they're spiky nubbins yeah oh like nosferatu nubbin yeah i love like meforatu

like he went to go get the veneers yeah and ran our pathway through the appointment. I can't afford it! This was my desired result! If Transylvania was also Boronia train station. They're the teeth that we want to put in Gwyneth's mouth. Gwyneth would love her new spiking oven. She could bite at the heels. Yes. And when the sardine can ring pull comes off, you can just chomp one side.

Listen, Zelda, I'm going to say perhaps there is no ring pull in the bunker. We don't need it. Not with vampire nubbins. It also really reminds you of Good God, we're so old. But you know, like the Simpsons episode where there's a little gremlin on the side of the bus. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of like his teeth. Yeah.

I actually haven't seen the episode. I'm too young. Such a lie. Oh, we're all doing a... Put that skeleton down. Okay. Okay. Matt, do you have anything to say about spiky nubbins? Spiky nubbins

Is this so he resists the temptation to bite people? Like he's just like, oh Oh, no, I think biting is part of it So he's just going to bite people with his little nubbins? Yeah, you can't quite get the death He just leaves a little teeth mark on your arm But doesn't actually draw any blood Yeah That's cute I like that Okay Okay, great He just leaves a little teeth mark on your arm but doesn't actually draw any blood.

Yeah. That's cute. I like that. Okay. Okay, great. Oh, what a wonderful week with Abby. She's in. The sphere that is.

Little bomb. Little bomb. So important to put little bomb in. And then Spiky Nubbins Little Spiky Nubbins Spiky Nubbins McGee Oh, well Then that's us done for the week Darling

We'll see you next week then Oh, also You know We love you We love you Not you That one The other one Yeah, yeah Love that lucky one We love you. We love you. Not you. That one.

The other one. Yeah, yeah. Love that lucky one. Blink twice if you're in there. Listen. Goodbye. Goodbye, baby. See you later, old skinny.

Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shearer. Hello. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. You've got a little fan picture. Send it to us at deathtoeveryonepod.gmail.com. Oh, and when to support us, please, on patreon.com slash death to everyone. Bye. Bye. please on patreon.com slash death to everyone