Death To Everyone - Death To... Harry Styles, Pets & Smells

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

Darling heart divas... Harry Styles? Did you ever think the day would come? Well here we go! Pets and smells, unrelated? Or more related than you think! Listen now to find out... Death To Everyon...e!!! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

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Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵
Starting point is 00:00:16 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 Hello out there Hello sister Sister, however I am Sister, so long to you sister
Starting point is 00:00:38 Hello It's so nice to be back here in the studio Of course, and welcome dear listener, to Death to Everyone Now you don't know this dear listener, but we were meant to film this, record this yesterday But my car exploded On the way And we were driving down the highway, 10,000 miles an hour, screeching like a bat out of hell And then all of a sudden the power steering went out all the lights on the dash went
Starting point is 00:01:05 out yeah and it was just us on the open road tilting towards madness there was a moment where lazy was like my little dashboard thing is indicating some icons zelda can you get the manual out and see if you can't find what these mean and it was the first time i've ever held a car manual pull your driving goggles down yeah i took off my driving gloves and i flicked through the manual and um i was quite overwhelmed by a lot of what i saw in there and i wasn't much i don't recall getting any answers to those questions no i was like i'm seeing a small man and a fire symbol and uh what looks to be tnt and a skull and crossbones.
Starting point is 00:01:47 I didn't even know this car had a skull. This is the international symbol for radiation. Is that a bad sign? So then we tried to dash back home. And I was like, if we can make it home, then we can just like ditch the car, come back. But then as we were driving down the road in fairfield the car stopped just stopped just it was like girl we did our best but in a very like like meant to be kind of way it stopped just when we could easily push it into a car park yes so it was actually like okay yeah and we were in the middle of fairfield so we can go and get a bite to eat yeah um go shopping yes and wait for the people to come yes to help
Starting point is 00:02:32 us the um the most incredible thing about this story however is that lazy had a gig after we were recording yesterday and um with the time frames and stuff when i got to her house she was like i put on my eyes and like her eyebrows like block brows severe eyebrows and then eyes um and nothing else though no base no lips like not not a lash just like half you're half done, you know, and we do always have makeup on when we record. Well, of course, but this one time it was half done. And so all of this happened with Lazy Susan. With his like severe mistransparency eyebrows. Like pencil thin eyebrows.
Starting point is 00:03:18 Like, yeah. And many people were looking. Yes. For the three hours that we were on the side of the road. But thankfully I had a costume for the occasion in the back. Yeah, you did materialize a safety vest. You should always have a high-vis safety vest in your backyard. Back your boot.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Just in case. Because it actually is like, not because of safety, but just because people respect you for some reason. Yeah. Like, so we had to defend the parking spot in front of my car so that the tow truck would be able to help us get the car up when they arrived. And so for 30 minutes, they had to stand in this car park and just like glare at people to tell them not to park there. And somehow it worked. It worked.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Anyway, my name is Lazy Susan. My name is Zelda Moon. And this is a show called Death to Everyone. Where, you know, we talk about a lot of different topics, and then we pick which things from those topics should be preserved after the apocalypse. Yeah, we're gazing upon the smorgasbord that all of life and Earth has to offer,
Starting point is 00:04:21 and selecting what we'd like. Jell-O cubes. Yeah, that's delicious and i'll snack on that forever more mousse a little soft serve oh my god oh we should do that topic one day so growing up um we went to the pub occasionally um like occasionally like i don't love pub fair yeah it's just not my pub genre yeah yeah like when people like now i'm like oh let's go to the pub i'm like which one well you don't drink why would you go to a pub true true true true true but um good god i loved the chocolate mousse at the pub growing up see i
Starting point is 00:04:59 would always like get overwhelmed by like having a dessert And so my mom was like, maybe you should just have the frog in a pond. Oh, yeah. Just make sure you don't overdo it. Remember last time? You're going to have the frog in the pond. But what would happen? Would you go crazy or would you vomit? Yeah, just vomit.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Oh, wow. Too much. Yeah. Our cat got hit by a car when I was young, Wednesday. And something turned off in her brain that told her when to stop eating. So she would just eat until she was sick. Yeah. And so I think that that's a similar thing that affects me.
Starting point is 00:05:35 I see. Yeah. Yeah. Both of our cats got hit by cars. Wow. Yeah. We were pretty irresponsible. Both survived, though. Hmm. But they came back different. Wow. Yeah. We were pretty irresponsible. Both survived, though.
Starting point is 00:05:45 Hmm. But they came back different. Okay. Did they die and you resurrected them in a cemetery? Yeah, a little pet cemetery, darling. Yeah. Okay. Wait, what happened with the other one?
Starting point is 00:05:59 Boo. He got hit by a car. Your cat's name was Boo? His name was Boo after Monsters, Inc. The little girl in Monsters, Inc. is called Boo. I haven't seen it. Then why did you say what? Because what?
Starting point is 00:06:15 Do you know what the plot of Monsters, Inc.? Tell me what you think the plot of Monsters, Inc. is. Oh, okay. I know that there's like the little green one. Okay. And the fluffy one. Yeah. yeah they which are called greeny and fluffy okay good they work in a factory yeah what do they make in the factory i don't know because i feel like every scene like every image i have is that it's really empty and there's just
Starting point is 00:06:40 lots of things walking around i presume it's ar monsters. These monsters work in a factory and then... I don't know any of... I can't see anything else other than this empty factory. Maybe they... I don't know. They're going through a hard time. They're like... I don't know.
Starting point is 00:07:03 I haven't seen it. So Fluffy and Greeny are going through a hard time. That's the start of the film. Yes. What happens? They are looking to get into a different industry, perhaps. What's the industry that they're in? They're in warehouse management.
Starting point is 00:07:19 Okay. Two monsters in warehouse management. Yes. And I think Oh, I know that there's a franchise of these movies And one's like a university Yes So they are
Starting point is 00:07:33 They're aspiring for a different life Not necessarily a better life But just a different life And they're going to go into higher education So that happens after the warehouse closes and then they become. So it's like kind of like a Billy Elliot, like, you know,
Starting point is 00:07:50 like, you know, working class people are losing their jobs. Working class monsters have to go in and reeducate themselves. But something I've always pondered is where, where is this happening? Where is the warehouse? Well, you tell me, darling.
Starting point is 00:08:07 You're writing the feature. True. I think it's Northern England. It's not in England. Well, maybe. No. I, hmm, where would monsters like to be? Jamaica.
Starting point is 00:08:24 But I feel like It's like all of us They want to go on vacation True Maybe it's in Bali Like Hotel Transylvania Oh I haven't seen that
Starting point is 00:08:31 No but that looks fun Does it? I love You know what My nephews have seen it They really liked it Connoisseurs They liked that Mario movie
Starting point is 00:08:40 Yeah true Boo Bad sign So how close was I? Like 60%? 68% I'd say yeah great no they do work in a factory if they work in an energy factory because the monster world which is where they live is powered off the screams of children really yeah and so monsters have to terrify it is like our real monsters yeah yeah so they have have to terrify children to fill up these screen jars.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Yeah, with power. And then they basically go through doors into their cupboards, like their walk-in wardrobes. I guess kids without walk-in wardrobes already have enough to be afraid of. But they come through those doors into portals into their rooms. And then so the big blue one is the best scarer. He's the Jack Skellington of this situation. And then he accidentally brings a little girl back with him through the portal one night.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Little girl. And her name's Boo, because that's what she always says. And she's not afraid of him. And then they think that children are evil. They've been fed a lie. And so when she comes back, they think they're going to be contaminated by the child. And then he realizes that children have souls and that they're real.
Starting point is 00:09:54 And then he's like, fuck, we'd be making a huge mistake. And then at the end of the film, they find out, spoiler alert, that the laughter of children creates more power than the screams of children. Oh. So what, then they go tell them jokes at night yeah and then like it changes the way that the monster will and monster university is monsters you is like a it's like a flashback you know before yeah when they went to the university to learn how to be good monsters. I see. Yeah. Oh, I don't like that. But, okay. And that's, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:32 That isn't, the whole thing of Aria Monsters was that they were like, went to school. Yeah. And then went and scared things. Yeah. But there was no like reason. They were just doing it. But I mean. That was Nickelodeon in the 90s.
Starting point is 00:10:44 It was absurdist. It was, there's no like reason They were just doing it No reason But I mean That was Nickelodeon in the 90s It was absurdist It was There's no reason That professor had four feet With high heels on Yeah And a pointed nose And spoke like this
Starting point is 00:10:53 Gay people are evil So Yeah I mean all of the RL monsters are gay Yes Like Oh my god That crumb
Starting point is 00:11:02 Holding his eyeballs Yeah And putting up his sweaty piers. Ickis, little Twinkie. Yeah. And then, oh, my God, Obliana. Oblina?
Starting point is 00:11:15 Oblina. Yes. Oblina, Ickis. She was so good. Reverse candy cane. Oh. Yes. Ickis. People would hangse candy cane. Oh. Ears. Ears.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Ears. Ears. People would hang those on trees. Yeah. Do you know that? They do that in an episode of Iron Monster. Oh, really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Okay. Okay. Okay. And, well, just before we dive into our first topic for the week, sister, how are you? I'm good. Just give me a little update. I've just been, aside from my car deciding to light itself on fire. I'm good.
Starting point is 00:11:47 I've been bumping along. I'm really enjoying the new season of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 16. Yeah, so my sister has suffered from fatigue. Oh, je suis fatigué. She has not seen it for some time. Some time. Well, I mean, no, I watched last season of America. Yeah, but you didn't watch Italy.
Starting point is 00:12:05 I didn't watch Italy. I didn't watch Spain. I didn't watch Mexico. I didn't watch Belgium. Because, do you know what? I want to have other things in my life. But I make appointment television for US. I'll do UK.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Are you going to do UK versus the world season two? Maybe. You have to. With Hannah. Hannah. And also, you never know when the next Jenny Jacquet will be around. Jenny Jacquet. Not because she was a good drag queen, just because she has a good drag name. I like Jenny Jacquet.
Starting point is 00:12:41 And yeah, so I don't know. But it's good. And I think that the discourse around plain Jane is quite interesting About like this character on the show who's being like a bully for no reason It's a kind of misguided attempt to try and give us what we want And people who are like, this is what you want when you say you want a villain And it's like, yeah, but I think like to kind of go to the prime example, when like Jeremy Carey or Fifi was like being rude to Sharon Needles, it's because she didn't understand Sharon Needles. Fundamentally, like she thought that she was a betrayal of all the things
Starting point is 00:13:22 that Jeremy Carey stood for. And so when that was happening on the show, if you went into a villain's perspective, it made sense. Like she's like, I've worked for years becoming a drag queen. This is what drag is. And you being here at the same level as me, not having to have done all those things undermines my position in the world. So it's like, you get it.
Starting point is 00:13:43 With Plain Jane, like i don't understand aside from the construct of the tv show like i want to be a villain yeah what her perspective is and why she's going after a mandatory meeting except to just be like your shit yeah you know what i mean and all of that attention like if you're going to go that hard in on someone or people or just be that character it highlights you and if you're not immaculate like it's a dangerous game to be like i'm critiquing other people's drag so then of course people are going to critique yours yeah um and it's just funny because from what we've seen so far and i don't know who work off drag race i'm just going from
Starting point is 00:14:30 these three episodes but the argument has been said that it is like kacha meets jimbo yeah which like yeah yeah yeah those comparisons always really annoying but from what we've seen that is kind of it yeah so it's like yeah like are you an alternative girl like yeah i don't know have you got your shit sorted out like and that's why it's like the violet chachki the first villain winner my favorite um the violet chachki of it all is like you could see that she held herself to the same if not higher standards than she held other people yeah so it's like her genuine opinion of things that she thought about other people's things affected how she looked and what she did.
Starting point is 00:15:10 So I think it's like that of like, you can't do the Jimbo stupid talent and then come for someone for looking messy. Because it's like your talent is something that's meant to be intentionally bad, intentionally messy. Yeah. So it's like, why can't you transition that thinking across? Whereas like Violet, everything she does is in the pursuit of beauty and perfection.
Starting point is 00:15:31 And so obviously she treats everyone like they need to fit that standard. Yeah. Anyway, it's weird. It's very curious. But I just think it's like, it's a bit too produced, self-produced. And it's like, well, I do want a villain. And I do like that this is something but but i think already because like on season 15 we had mib yeah who was similarly like villain
Starting point is 00:15:56 adjacent yeah but she um was like had unclockable makeup and yeah you know like amazing costumes and like was a fool like you don't think of her and need other people in order to describe her you can just explain her personality and stuff for sure it's like yeah it's just interesting and she seemed to get joy out of being a sassy bitch well she was it was also shade yeah like she wasn't actually awful she was just a drag queen she just kept like mugging and being like i can't believe i'm saying this to you but whoopsie yeah yeah and like plain jane just seems to me to be like not enjoying herself like it all just feels a bit sweaty like a bit too overly calculated a bit too like rehearsed um and not like she's kind of
Starting point is 00:16:43 getting anything out of it. Yeah. Where it's like, if you're going to be mean to people, at least enjoy it. Exactly. Okay. Well, I think it's my week. Go on, girl. How will the world come to an end? This is how the world ends.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Not with a bang, but with a whimper. What's that? Go on. No, what's that? It's a poem. Is that? Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Oh. I think... I've already done... Yeah. What do I think for this week? Hmm. I'm going to go with... you know what, short and sweet. I am a celestial being, of course.
Starting point is 00:17:32 And I do wear heels. Oh, my God. And this week I'm wearing stilettos. And under the pin of my stiletto, I'm crushing planet Earth. Another crushing from Zelda Moon. Goodbye. It really is episode 26. stiletto i'm crushing planet earth another crushing yeah from zelda moon yeah goodbye it really is episode 26 um but just yeah just kind of like a grape popping under the pressure of a finger yeah okay how good well listen we will go to a break while you pop your giant stiletto on um and then we will decide what's going to be surviving your um stiletto moon yes yeah okay okay see you in a second
Starting point is 00:18:11 and we're back hello now for topic number one today, Zelda, what are we doing? We shall be discussing... Can you smell that? What? Which smell is getting into the bunker? Great. Excellent displaying there, Zelda Moon. Can you hear that smelling?
Starting point is 00:18:41 Can you hear the people smell? Smelling the smells of smelly men. It's my new song. I see. Smell is a rub. What? Okay, so I think to differentiate this between fragrances, we're not talking about fragrances today.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Midnight Fantasy. Jennifer Lopez, live. We're just talking about smells. Yeah yeah i think just anything in the smells and this is brought on because i was going through my notes app as i want to do um and it said smells i really like and then underneath it had one option is a tan bark sometimes i'll just open up my notes up and write things down just in case Like for example, you know how like Guardian The Guardian Like the news site
Starting point is 00:19:31 Yes The news publication Has like, they'll get like local Australian comedians and people in entertainment To be like, 10 best things I saw on the internet Oh, go on What about that Don't you like Oh
Starting point is 00:19:46 Just like As we create a podcast About our opinions It's like What do I care about Some comedian's opinion On ten things Anyway
Starting point is 00:19:56 But that's The thing If you like that comedian Well that's the issue There's no comedians That I like They also get personalities Hmm
Starting point is 00:20:04 People from the world. Oh, like Lillian Chin? Maybe. Okay. That I would agree. There's just the comedian part that I'm having that's knocking for me. But I always have now started my 10 things that I've seen online list in my notes up for one day if they ever ask me. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Yes. And? Do you want to hear what I have so far? I'd love to. Okay. List in my notes up For one day if they ever ask me Oh my god Yes and Do you want to hear what I have so far? I'd love to Okay I think Well because they need to be things That you've thought of funny Yeah
Starting point is 00:20:33 Best thing Oh so I have Adore Delano eating a taco in her car Oh that's great I love that That's really good And Volantis The flag dress Of course I love that video. And Volantis.
Starting point is 00:20:50 The flag dress, of course, which you can wear in the bunker. And that's all I have. You just need to be wowed by eight more things on the internet. Well, when eight more things appear that are worth it on the internet, I'll let you guys know. But don't tell the Guardian guys. If you work for the Guardian, tell the Guardian that I I want this And I guess I have to be famous enough But if I've done that
Starting point is 00:21:08 They'll know I have something to link in my obituary That's true Famed Guardian writer What do you think Volantis smells like? Paint? I reckon they would have just finished spraying it white And I think that body suit yeah looked like it didn't take paint well i feel like it wouldn't feel completely dry
Starting point is 00:21:31 no no no it's like that plastic that you can't put spray paint on yeah but that's what they did stays tacky yeah yeah so i think it would smell fumy yep in that whole giant warehouse where lady gaga was doing the art pop thing. Do you know what I was reminded of the other day? When this is in the Volantis era, Lady Gaga's app that she put out. Oh, no. The Kardashian app where they- Have you never seen this?
Starting point is 00:22:00 I need to play this to you because you download this app, but it was during art pop and it was like, this is a lifestyle app. Hold the phone. Okay. This. You just reminded me of something else, but we'll do this first. My name is Petka. I am the interface of this application.
Starting point is 00:22:20 No. What? Hello. My name is Petka. I'm the interface of this application. Before you can exist in the universe, Narkop, I must first generate your aura. Oh, gosh.
Starting point is 00:22:39 She's so... Do you think Petka is in the bunker? I don't think. Hi, I'm Petka. Well, I suppose Gaga is, so maybe she feels like putting on that Petka is in the bunker? I don't think. Hi, I'm Petka. Well, I suppose Gaga is, so maybe she feels like putting on that Petka voice. Wait, what are you saying? What? Lady Gaga and Petka is two separate people. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:22:57 How dare you? Is Petka short for something? Yeah. What? I don't know. Okay. Wait, I'm going to find out. I need to know now because Petka.
Starting point is 00:23:07 Well, that crazy celebrity, foe, whatever that is, has reminded me of my favorite celebrity's insane video that she released this week, which is, of course, JLo's trailer for her new album slash fucking TV series, music video, video album thing. Is it not a movie? I don't understand what it is. But I think my understanding is that it's like maybe eight episodes of something, but they're all like eight music videos with a big storyline attached or something isn't that what it is i yeah i don't know but i just it's crazy did you
Starting point is 00:23:50 watch the video yes it's incredible she's riding a motorcycle across the glass desert and then she's in outer space but then she's at a friend's wedding and then it's like oh oh, my God. I can't wait. I also just think it's funny because J-Lo will have all the success. J-Lo has done the things that every famous pop star has done. She's been in films and been incredible. Hustlers was very good. She's released epic music videos. She's done the Supertime halftime show The thing about it is It always feels so low stakes
Starting point is 00:24:29 When it's JLo I don't feel like the world stops When JLo does something JLo released this entire Insane thing And everyone's like yeah Well What a harsh critique.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Stop my world. I also, she wore those glasses this week. What glasses? The like Schiaparelli like glasses with the built-in angry eyebrows. Oh, that's cute. Did you see them? No. I sent them to you.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Well, I don't read everything people send me, darling. You didn't even have to read it. It's a photo. I can't read with my eyes. Okay. Smells. Smells. Do you like tan bark?
Starting point is 00:25:13 Go on. Tan bark is great. I love that. I mean, like, obviously, it's just about things that you connect to your childhood. So tan bark, burning rubber, alcohol, blood, copper, you know, those things. Yeah, those things. Yeah. But there's, like, I mean, like, you know, like, because there's, like,
Starting point is 00:25:35 there's a whole world of smell that is, like like things that are so bad or like non-pretty smells, not made to be enjoyed, not like cookies and cream and flowers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I think are like in the like wheelhouse of smells that I like. Like a really, really intense blue cheese. Okay, yes. Is like so pungent and so ugly that it kind of loops around to it's like yeah intoxicating yeah exactly yeah um what do you think about horny smells like
Starting point is 00:26:13 like i'm going to smell your armpits i love i love a pit smell yeah it's dang um pits what about more intimate areas oh like balls dang balls and ass ass the love language ass um eyelids inside your mouth that no it smells yeah what do you think about those smells i do like them okay yeah human musk you you know? There is like... But you can like, it's obviously a person-to-person thing. Yes. It's diet dependent.
Starting point is 00:26:50 It's, you know, like there's a lot of different... True. The body can make many smells. I think, like I'm fine with all of that. And sometimes it's very hot. The thing that I don't like is like when you go to a hookup and you've obviously both like had a shower before you go and meet someone to have sex presumably
Starting point is 00:27:10 and then they put on deodorant. Yeah, I hate that. It's like you don't smell yet because you've just had a shower and if you're getting dressed to go out for 12 hours, put on deodorant or whatever. But like if you're about to have sex with someone like what's the point if you then like accidentally like smell it or like lick anywhere near there your tongue goes your tongue goes like you get copper in your tongue yeah it's so shit oh no aluminium that's the one yeah god that's disgusting i hate it um yeah it's also i mean i think people are so indoctrinated with
Starting point is 00:27:49 like you need to always smell like deodorant so it's like i was reading somewhere the other day that people put on deodorant to go to bed yeah it's insane like i'm like yours like that's sick that's crazy like and it's just like there there's no, like, I don't know. Like, I think you're talking to someone who's been told twice at two different workplaces to go home and put on deodorant. Oh my God, what? Yeah. Oh my God. It's so embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:28:19 What? Which workplaces? Well, at Hudson's Coffee, it happened. At age? At age adult. Like, sorry yeah no i was um at hudson's and i was working the hospital alfred hospital or something like that maybe there's a private hospital that has a hudson's and i just would occasionally pick up a shift at the hospital the store yeah and i got there and then was working and like yeah it was bad like it was just one of those situations as well where like they only gave you so many work shirts and i
Starting point is 00:28:52 hadn't washed this one from a previous shift so it's like it's fine when you put it on and then like suddenly this when you reactivate it yeah it's awakened and it's something like i'm gonna kill you which is like not a vibe. No. And the manager was like, you need to go and get some deodorant right now. And so I went to the hospital gift shop and for some reason bought salt crystal deodorant, like a salt crystal. And I didn't know that you had to wet it.
Starting point is 00:29:21 So like me in a hospital rubbing a completely dry salt crystal under my piers. And coming back and he was like, what did you do? And I'm like holding up the salt crystal. You're like, I prayed it with this crystal. Yeah, well now I feel like we've really dealt with the situation. Oh my God. And what happened the second time?
Starting point is 00:29:43 Same thing, but like I think someone else had some deodorant. At Hudson Coffee? No, it was at Blondie. Damn. But you know, I don't know. I also just am like, yeah, I don't really care that much. Yeah. Whatever.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Yeah. Okay. Yes. But people are terrified of that situation. Yeah. Because they do crazy things. Well, but people are terrified of that situation. Yeah. Because they do crazy things. Well, exactly. I think it's like if I was someone that experienced more shame,
Starting point is 00:30:11 then I might, you know, like be like, oh, no. But I was like, that's kind of funny. Yeah. Okay. What about, I don't know, any other favorites? Any other favorite smell? Yeah. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:30:27 There's so many, like, I mean, like obviously there's like bitumen when it's raining and it's been a hot day and the water is just like evaporating off the bitumen and putting that smell into the air. Love that smell. Like that kind of ozony gorgeousness. Fresh cut grass. Yes.
Starting point is 00:30:42 I mean, a favorite of all. Absolutely. Um, the smell of like the Mac laptop. Oh, yes. Like when you just get it out of the box. Yep. That's so good.
Starting point is 00:30:52 I like that little bit of perfume they have in the Ben Nye setting powder. There's like something there. Oh, like a soft. Yep. Powdery. They use Ben Nye setting powder. Yeah. Like the loose powder.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Yeah. Huh. What do you use? The Kryolan one. I can't afford that. Are you rich? Wait, is the Ben Nye sitting powder. Yeah. Like the loose powder. Yeah. Huh. What do you use? The Kryolan one. I can't afford that. Are you rich? Wait, is the Ben Nye one cheaper? Much.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Yes. Oh. Yeah. I don't know. I've just always had the Kryolan one, so it's just the one I repurchased. Yeah. We need to do, yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Ben Nye I don't think is good for a single other product though. Yeah, right. Yeah. I don't think I've ever tried anything. No, no. They have a clown white that's like actually the most disgusting smell as well. Oh God. a single other product though yeah right yeah i don't think i've ever tried anything no no they have a clown white that's like actually the most disgusting smell as well oh god hmm um i like all those smells um i like it very much i kind of like it a shmell um but my favorite is tomato leaves oh the tomato bush that's nice yeah and what memory is that connected to
Starting point is 00:31:47 well i don't know i mean growing up so my dad's a horticulturalist and we always had a veggie patch and we're italian so there were always tomatoes in it um but that and also my non is veggie patch like always tomatoes like so many plants um but yeah like i it's just those like hot summer nights where you like go out and water the summer night um yeah but you go out and water the veggie patch and that smell and all those little bugs that fly off catch them in the golden hour but um it's such a good smell um and thankfully one that is semi-universal i would say because there's a few candles out there in the universe that you can get that smell like oh yeah you have that really nice one who does that good the one i have at the moment is flamingo estate flamingo
Starting point is 00:32:39 and new york company yeah uh la la la check out La If you have a spare 100, 200 How much is that candle? Oh Jesus Yeah probably I don't know Yeah 100 bucks Isn't that fucking crazy?
Starting point is 00:32:54 Matt how much would you spend on a candle? Nothing You've never spent money on a candle? No Not a birthday candle Not nothing Not a tea light No I don't think so
Starting point is 00:33:06 well you haven't bought a 48 pack from ikea of those tea candles i'm just not into candles you're not into smells i'm into smells not candles though how do you get the smell into your room you're an incense boy uh yeah i used to like incense. Now I'm more like those, what are those misty ones? Like air wick spray? No, like a humidifier. The one that's on the timer that you're sitting in the room and it goes. No, you like burn essential oils and you put it in water and then. Oh.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Like, oh, no, not the reeds. Not the reeds No, they're electric Or you put a little candle underneath, like an oil pot What is it called? A humidifier An oil diffuser Yeah, a diffuser, I guess
Starting point is 00:33:59 Yeah Actually, we should decide what the smell Like whatever smell we decide to put in the bunker tonight Actually, we should decide what the smell, whatever smell we decide to put in the bunker tonight. We need to figure out how it's being carried out. Ooh, true. Okay. Well.
Starting point is 00:34:16 This is the smell of certain plastics. Obviously, the My Little Pony smell is so iconic. But I remember coming back to the hills where I'm from, like the Dandenong ranges where it's like just a mix of all the, like, you know, the nature and the wet like ferns and mud smell and all of that. It's like, it was almost, it's just like this overwhelming, like you can almost cry. Like I think scents like really affect me more than like totally a lot of others like you know i don't need to be able to see yeah oh actually even though i said that it wasn't fragrance but um jeremy my like very good friend you don't you all know um when we were like
Starting point is 00:34:59 teenagers and like went on a few dates or whatever a long time ago um jeremy used to wear this particular like diesel fragrance and we like both like reminisce about that fragrance because it like holds such a strong strong memory yeah it's crazy well i think that's the thing it's like you talk to young or no like gay men about they're like well i mean just anyone who was around in the 90s in 2000s about lynx africa yeah right like how like much that takes you back to being in high school yes where just like men were like drenched in that smell yes which is worse than just the body odor oh it's the most offensive smell on this planet i believe um officially yeah yeah burning you know what i um stayed at someone's house the other day and when i had a shower the
Starting point is 00:35:57 next morning they had a link so it wasn't africa but it was some other cursed fragrance line um body wash in the shower and i thought you're perfect for me this is it this is love something fresh cooking on the stove i mean there's so many good smells i also like the smell of paint um like just that that room smell of paint i you know what even like i've never smoked a cigarette but there's something about that as well these days that feels almost nostalgic like yeah cigarette smoke like out or whatever you don't really smell cigarette smoke anymore yeah anywhere yeah no and like i i do like i think fresh cigarette is like a really nice smell like that burning tobacco leaf but then it's like when it gets stale or like i don't know
Starting point is 00:36:52 i had a friend like a lot of friends that were like chain smokers and i remember like waking up to one of my friends and she had like just like cigarette breath like that morning cigarette breath and it's just like when you hit that point You're like I can't do this Okay so Well I think the vessel makes sense A candle
Starting point is 00:37:14 Probably makes sense I think a candle is what we would choose As celestial goddesses But I think you make a pretty good point With that timed airwick sprayers where did they come from there and why are they so like attention seeking my um one of my mom's exes had one in her house that fucked. And this was like many years ago. And there were a few times where I like stayed over there
Starting point is 00:37:49 and like would sleep on the couch in the lounge room or whatever. And all night, every like 45 minutes, it would just be. You're like, thank God this room smells good. It's insane. Because it's like in a public bathroom, maybe. Yeah, because. But it's still terrifying when it goes off, you think you're alone. And then it's like. Because it's like in a public bathroom, maybe. Yeah, because. But it's still terrifying when it goes off, you think you're alone and then it's like. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:10 But the like in someone's home and like, I don't know, it's really funny when you have these products that are like super like low end. Yes. Like they're just like the supermarket product and they have to figure out how they're going to like model it So they go for this kind of like sleek minimalism case That slides over the whole thing And is meant to like help it disappear into your minimalist white house But then it just becomes this like evil little device Sitting in the corner going
Starting point is 00:38:42 When I moved into the house I am in now, there was one on the windowsill in the bedroom. As the first thing I did was like, get out, get out of my house. I have, but I think that that would, that energy would be good for the bunker. Like a bit of, well, they don't have a sense of time of course yeah so that will currently there is no yeah maybe that's how well well maybe that's it maybe we just do measurements of time in the bunker but it's like oh i'll see you in three weeks three airwicks from
Starting point is 00:39:20 today or yeah on the 25th airwick we will start the feast of souls yeah that could be quite good yeah yeah but maybe they'll just say on the 23rd yeah i don't think that has a name yeah just yeah yeah um that's great okay so that's good now what is the refillable liquid sand Scent. Scent. I mean, my vote is tomato bushes. Tomato bushes. Just put it out there. A temptation to remind them of the world above. Your nonna's yard. Yes. I think that is quite an enchanting smell.
Starting point is 00:39:56 But also tan bark. Tan bark. What about pits? Pits. Armpits. That does feel like, I mean. What about pits? Pits, armpits That does feel like I mean Yeah, they'll be like, well we were saved by like
Starting point is 00:40:12 We can compromise it and have it be your nonna's armpits Oh my god I don't like that You don't think we can't have that? No What's wrong with that? No No I don't think we can have that. No. What's wrong with that? No.
Starting point is 00:40:26 No. Pits. Pits. You want pits. Okay, who's pits? Michael B. Pits? Michael B. Pits. Well, yeah, whoever it is, they need to be scraped.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Scraped while they're in the bunker. Yeah, milked. Well, you know, Matt's in the bunker. Yeah, out of your pits, my man. Yeah. I don't wear aluminium deodorant anymore as well. Yeah. Yeah, that's good.
Starting point is 00:40:59 So they're a bit fresh sometimes. But, yeah, the good thing about the one that I found, I used this one called Mugu. Oh, yeah, I've heard of Mugu. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's quite good. It just doesn't stop you sweating. It gets rid of the smell but doesn't stop you sweating. So you just end up with really big.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Sweat patches. Pit stains, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The, what is it? The antiperspirant side. Yeah. I don't fuck with that
Starting point is 00:41:25 yeah that's no I'm like yeah I literally before I came here I was like I'm gonna put on my antiperspirant just because
Starting point is 00:41:31 I'm gonna do that favor to the people in this room oh my god um but now that I know that neither of you tried for me
Starting point is 00:41:38 I put on deodorant but I'm wearing the Aesop deodorant today so it's really just that's really just an idea of a thought. Exactly, exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Yeah. Mugu. Okay. Well, then, Matt, it'll be you. Okay. Yeah. Matt, sweat in the bunker. So, not your nonna.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Not my nonna. Leave my nonna's armpits alone. Leave Rita alone. Well, what do you think There's like middle aged women Having the best night of their life Over at Reggie's They're not going to swear
Starting point is 00:42:09 They're And that's why I don't want it That would smell awful What do you mean Excuse me Well it's just not for me Okay I straight people into
Starting point is 00:42:21 Things like that Into what Like Smell Like your partner's armpit smell Is that good for you? Yeah, I mean, I like the smell of my partner I have dated people in the past where I didn't like their smell Name and shame
Starting point is 00:42:36 No, I'm not naming anyone No, but yeah, and then it kind of, after a while It's like, we need to go our separate ways. Hmm. Okay. Hmm. But yeah, no, I think it's important for all people to be into their partner's smell.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Yeah, I think they say if you don't like the smell of your partner, then it means you lack a chemistry. Yeah. Hmm. Okay. Well, listen, I'm not as sold on. Chemistry. Yeah. Okay. Well, listen, I'm not as sold on this now. Okay. Wait.
Starting point is 00:43:11 Fuck. This is important. This is important. Well. Petrol? Yeah, let's do that. That's pretty good. I was going to say before.
Starting point is 00:43:23 But maybe like the petrol that's like been spilt onto the asphalt yeah yeah asphalty petrol yeah yeah that's pretty good okay so and does the oh no i think that betrays the i was gonna say like does the cover for the airwick have like the petrol color so like a little rainbow so you're like that's the limited edition like catches the light a little uh rainbow iridescent like that's the limited edition one for the bunker yeah i think that's good we'll get airwick on the line and see if they'll do a limited edition petrol themed airwick um amazing yeah okay when we release like um the the line from the bunker especially you yes like one of it won't be airwick it'll be an Airwick, especially you collab.
Starting point is 00:44:05 Yeah. Or it'd be like Air King. You know how you said about the Soda Stream King. Oh, Soda King. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Gotcha. Gotcha King. Yeah. Okay. Fabulous. Well, let's do that. Yeah. Petrol sent out of an Airwickick, especially you, Soda King.
Starting point is 00:44:28 Yes, that goes kuh. Yeah. Excellent. And that's also the new measurement of time. Yes. Sorry, most important. Very good. We'll be right back after this.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Kuh. To run To run To run Hello Hello We're back Now, we've done this once before, my sister. Have we? We have.
Starting point is 00:45:08 We're not discussing which thing from this topic gets in, but just here's a concept. Are they in? Yes. And this was asked by one of our listeners. Was it? Yeah, many months ago. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:45:22 I can't tell you who and I don't know why. Oh, my God. Let's just say it was Anne. Yeah, right. I can't tell you who and I don't know why. Oh my God. Let's just say it was Anne. Anne Hogg. Okay. Today we're discussing, based on their current merits, does Harry Styles get into the bunker? God, this is going to be a short segment. But you know, I can't just come out and say no.
Starting point is 00:45:42 I will. No. I'm not. I'm going to weigh it. I'm going to weigh it. I'm going to really weigh it. So, like, I was one of the poor, unfortunate souls who had to see Don't Worry, Darling. And with Florence Pugh. And directed by Olivia Wilde.
Starting point is 00:46:03 And let me tell you, Wilde it was not. Olivia Tame And Harry Styles is a confoundingly bad actor Truly in a way that I don't quite understand You know when you see things You're like I don't understand what a good actor is But I know it when I see it And when I see Harry Styles act It makes me want to like
Starting point is 00:46:23 Vomit inside my mouth And then swallow it back down I see Yeah because act, it makes me want to like vomit inside my mouth and then swallow it back down. I see. Yeah, because I want to spare the moisture. But I find that that's bad. I've only ever seen him act in the Eternals, like the MCU movie. What was he doing in that? He was in the post-credits scene.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Doing what? He's a celestial goddess basically oh shit yeah he's an eternal from another planet oh my god
Starting point is 00:46:53 and he's teaming up with Angelina Jolie to go on a has he ever come back? not yet will he? I mean apparently
Starting point is 00:47:00 but who knows what they're doing yeah but I mean he was put in there as a teaser for a future project So, like, I'd say so Ew Yeah, gross
Starting point is 00:47:10 Okay, so what do you know about Harry Styles? Almost nothing He works at a monster's university Yeah No, I don't know what they do there, it's quite empty I know, it's very empty there He was a One Direction direction yes and where does one direction come from the uk yeah and what where did they how did they form oh i don't know i know
Starting point is 00:47:36 there's zane zane that's the two directions um and then I know Watermelon Sugar High. And I know that you released Nail Polish. Yes. Like, and I hate that a lot. She just did in inverted commas. Yeah. Because it's like, you know, actually anyone can wear Nail Polish. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:02 Like, yeah, no shit. Any brand. You don't need to buy the harry styles version yeah so i think yeah if it was just there's various points at which harry styles is like i think it just becomes more and more egregious the the further along you go so it's like being a like reality tv show contestant on the x factor and getting put with a bunch of other random boys wait so they didn't go in no they were all losers and then simon cowell was like what if all of your stinky ass losing could get combined into one competent person group yeah yeah so then they put them all on together and became One Direction. Wow.
Starting point is 00:48:45 And then they became like heartthrobs, even though they didn't win. And then they ran on like this never-ending massive world tour and just got Spice Girls, essentially, until they burnt out. So their whole thing was that they were like approachable, you know, the classic archetype of like approachable young men that young women can feel safe you know non-threatening teens harry styles was the breakout star of that because he's kind of foppish he's kind of sweet he's particularly inoffensive um and the issue is with being inoffensive as your core quality and kind
Starting point is 00:49:26 is that if you amplify that to global superstar famous, you're like, well, why are you global superstar famous when your whole thing is that you're just, okay, you're just approachable. But then he started wearing dresses. And then we finally get to, I mean, he went and had his solo career and has had the most success of all the 1D boys. Yeah, right. Actually, can I tell you a story quickly?
Starting point is 00:49:55 Maybe you should. One time when I was at the Peel when I was 18, just 18, I was like hitting on this guy, which now when I reflect on it, I was like, I wonder why this guy isn't interesting to me He must be in like 30 something In like a suit He'd like clearly come from work He was in like a button up shirt
Starting point is 00:50:11 But he'd taken the jacket off And it was like getting to that like People like the dance floor was starting to thin Yeah the thinning hour Yeah and I was like dancing up to him And he was like He literally looked at me and was like No
Starting point is 00:50:24 Which was fair enough And I was like dancing up to him and he was like, he literally looked at me and was like, no. Which was fair enough because I was 18, but I must have looked like 15. Like, you know, I looked very young. And then he was like, no. And I was like, okay. And then some guy did come out at the very end, at the like five o'clock mark. Yeah. She'd be like, sweep me off my feet.
Starting point is 00:50:50 And he took me back to his apartment. And he was an older guy. Must have been like 35, 40. Yeah. And then he took, no, maybe that's just like in retrospect he seemed old. Yeah. But I was actually this young. Maybe it was like that. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:51:02 He takes me back to his apartment. I get to the front door of his apartment in Collingwood. Yes. And he points across the street to where there's some like flats. And he's like, the Muslims live there. Oh. And I was like, oh my God, what's about to happen? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:18 This is like awful. Yeah. And then he takes me into his house. So that like, I should have left then. But I also had nowhere to go Because I was still living in the hills An hour on public transport That hadn't yet started up again yet
Starting point is 00:51:32 So I was like, I am here This is where I'm sleeping tonight Otherwise I'm walking around Anyway, get into his house His apartment And I want you to picture this guy's house Floor to ceiling mirrored built-in robes ikea bed set and a tall boy with a like light blonde pine finish oh yeah on top of that
Starting point is 00:51:56 is like a single framed picture of like some random friends yeah there's always that maybe like a few junky elements and then a like not junky but like little pieces of just like detritus like oh i thought you meant like a meth no no like keys the keys and like a little beanie baby little g dropper yeah yeah And then like a fucking, it's always like something like that. Yeah. And so, and then the, the room is like lit by the sun because it's got these down lights in it that are like blinding you.
Starting point is 00:52:34 And there's no second light source. And then in the corner of the room, the tiny room is like a, a gym bag, like a country road gym bag, just like next to his like pristine sneakers that have been lined up along the next to the tall boy and then everything else nothing else in the room so i want you to imagine that yeah and he's like i'm just gonna go to the bathroom i'll be right
Starting point is 00:52:57 back and then i like lie down on the bed turn the light off no don't turn the light off and then i'm like sitting there in the bed and I look to the left To the like Bedside table And on top of the Bedside table Dead body One Direction magazine Like one of those
Starting point is 00:53:12 Little kids magazines That you could buy They're about the size Of a K-Zone Like an A5 Yeah And it's a magazine Just with photos
Starting point is 00:53:20 Of One Direction Oh And I'm like Young looking 18 year old Yeah Just come to this guy's house I could fucking die with photos of One Direction. Oh. And I'm like young looking 18 year old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just come to this guy's house. I could fucking die. That has got to be one of the creepiest things that's ever happened.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Yeah. Anyway, so I was like lying in that guy's bed and then like he, I can't even remember what we did, but then like he went to sleep and I just lay there like staring at the ceiling until I could like leave and go home. Wow. Like the sun slowly. Yeah. That reminds me of a kind of similar just in maybe the age difference.
Starting point is 00:53:56 But like when I was like fresh to the city, probably still 18, maybe 19. I remember hooking up with this guy but it was just through you know what it was through manhunt.com you hunted those men i did um this guy who lived in saint kilda um but he would have been yeah late 30s early 40s kind of vibe um and i went to his place stayed the night we like we didn't have like sex sex but we had like oral sex um and he had like these two dogs and it was this whole thing and then the dogs like slept on the bed and i just remember that was really weird but it was he was a really nice guy and it was like whatever. But then the next morning, I think because I was so young and like, you know, just didn't have enough life experience,
Starting point is 00:54:51 we got up and then he was like, he invited me, but he was like, oh, we're going to breakfast with a friend. Do you want to come? Oh my gosh. And I was like, sure. And then like we go downstairs and we go to this cafe in Tequila on like the Esplanade or whatever. And it's me and this guy who is more than twice my age.
Starting point is 00:55:09 And he's like diva, like girlfriend from work or whatever. And the three of us just sat there and had breakfast. And the whole time I was like, I wonder what she thinks is happening right now. And then after that, I went home. Wow. And yeah. How was divaa i remember her to be fabulous and great well wherever you are now yeah i hope you're okay yes but yeah it is so funny those yeah if my friend brought a random like hookup to a brunch yes like i don't know that you understood The brunch invitation Right And especially like
Starting point is 00:55:45 I mean the age dynamic was Yeah Extreme Well thankfully you've always looked 20 years above your age Okay So But I think the power of leaving
Starting point is 00:55:57 Is the power of your 30s I love leaving Yeah yeah yeah Just leaving whenever the fuck you want to leave. Yeah. And not feeling any kind of way about it. This is not just for hookups, but just for all things in life. All things.
Starting point is 00:56:11 You don't ever have to stay in one place. No. You don't have to stay there, no matter what it is. Just go. That's it. You're done. Yeah. And when you're done, you go.
Starting point is 00:56:19 Yeah. And that's it. I love it. Harry Styles. Yes. Anyway, so the gay shit Oh yeah Okay
Starting point is 00:56:27 So this is the issue You know like There's a There's a big conversation About whether Harry Styles Needs to be explicit About whether he is queer
Starting point is 00:56:38 Bisexual sucks dick Yeah Because he's inferted A lot of times Then he's also started Dressing in like like queer coded ways. Yes. And everyone who like is in the rabid fan base and, you know, also outside is like, people don't owe you this kind of explanation of their sexuality.
Starting point is 00:56:57 You can't force people out of the closet. To which I say, shut the fuck up. To which I say, shut the fuck up. Like, I do agree with you that, like, random strangers on the street shouldn't be forced to be explicit about their sexuality. However, I think if we talk about, like, what you're using, quote-unquote, using your platform for and what you're making your money out of. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Like, I don't think he owes us shit, but I do think that you can't deny them that he's like having his cake and eating it too. That's the thing. If you're going to like profit through, yeah, like using clear, like, yeah, like dressing flamboyantly and, you know know like doing every signal to suggest something and like using that as a tool in your marketing campaign for yourself for whatever reason but then being coy about like whether you suck dick yeah and eat ass it's like well what and i think it is because it's about the kind of like all the queer things that are safe that don't put in people's mind the explicit act of gay sex you can be gay in every way or like queer coded in every way except for
Starting point is 00:58:14 the act which is why ellen was allowed to be a completely neutered lesbian on television because it was like middle america can accept the way you look like a lesbian the way you dress like a lesbian and the way that you act like a lesbian you can even call yourself a lesbian but you're not allowed to ever be explicit about the act of sex that you're having with someone of the same sex because that's where you alienate your straight middle american fans because you know and your publicists know and your team of like incredibly like high-end professional pr people know that as soon as you say i suck dick you have lost some money yeah and i it's like so calculated that it's offensive because it's like to to then
Starting point is 00:59:02 deny it and protect like to for the fan base to then deny and be like no one owes you this kind of explanation it's like sure but the reason we're not getting this kind of explanation is because he knows that it would alienate a whole group of customers exactly and so being explicit would cost him that whether it's explicit and then he's straight yeah just to say like i am a straight man and i'm dressing like this because i think it's cool but i'm just like like taking these queer coded imageries that like has you know been a way that the queer community has signaled to each other but also being like this the the reason that gay people are like shunned or you know like
Starting point is 00:59:45 dressing effeminately but like there's a case we made the straight man could do that yes but then leaving it in this weird or say i suck dick and this is the guy you know like whatever like but it's like you can't be explicit because you know this there's a cost and even yeah and that's exactly it. And that's why it's left vague. I remember seeing, I can't remember exactly what it was. I think it was a trans moment. But like Katy Perry did like some, like just misc,
Starting point is 01:00:16 like it was like gay month in the States or whatever. And she did like one Instagram post about like, I support trans kids or whatever and she did like one instagram post about like i support yeah trans kids or whatever and the comments are fucking crazy like the people being like fuck you unfollow like i can't believe i've been betrayed after following your career for the past 10 years or whatever um so the evidence is there right and it's just whether or not, yeah, like you- It took Taylor Swift like two years. You know, that's why it's like, even though it's like the bare minimum
Starting point is 01:00:50 and also like who cares about your opinion, but like when celebrities do support anything, it is like- But like there's only like a handful of openly, like, out, even now, pop stars that are in, like, the top tier. Yes. Yeah. And it's like, well, not even in the top tier. I just don't even think, like, you know, we don't even have them. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Like, Whitney Houston spent her entire life closeted as a bisexual. And it's like, and,, I guess like Lady Gaga said that she was bisexual many moons ago, but like, it was kind of like, once again, never given the like, then you see Lady Gaga out with, you know, weirdly Lindsay Lohan has done more for gay visibility. I don't know. Anyway, but the thing about that that i find
Starting point is 01:01:45 frustrating is just like the the case to be made that that he deserves some sort of kudos when it's like i don't know you're just kind of watering it down or like not giving us the like explicit confirmation which is like if you were having sex with men just say it why not why not you know you don men, just say it. Why not? Why not? You know, you don't have to say it, but I do have to ask why not. Why would you not think that that's important? Well, yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:14 Why are you scared of saying that? Why is that so bad that someone would know that about you? Yeah. Because people, you know, you don't want people to know about your private life. Guess what? You've released two documentaries about yourself. And you're making like music that's autobiographical why is this detail this one detail being left out we know about your relationship to your parents to every single one of your exes to watermelon and sugar pie yeah but you don't have i took in the ass one time come on honey you know why you know why
Starting point is 01:02:43 you're empowering homophobes and it's like when yeah when taylor swift her whole career like up until a few years ago didn't come out and say i'm against donald trump i'm against like the actions of the republican party because she knew that she had a country fan base and if she alienated those people she she would lose them forever. Yeah. So she played on that ambiguity. It's like, fine, great. But you know why you're saying nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's, yeah, it's better for the bottom line.
Starting point is 01:03:14 And so do we. And that's why you're not in the bunker. No fucking way. Get fucked. I just like, yeah, I just, I don't like that shit and i think the nail polish i can't well and i hate it yeah it's just like all of that stuff that is like this is kind of queer and i'm like no that's nail polish yeah the things that are queer uh having sex with someone of the same gender and that like having a different experience of your own gender
Starting point is 01:03:46 like these are like these are the spaces that are explicitly queer the things that have built up around queer culture yes but they are not queer culture like it is so weird to have it boiled down to something as stupid and goofy as oh i wore nail polish like and there is nothing um homophobic about being straight no intrinsically it's like you can be straight and like you don't have to be the straight person who like has leaned into being like you know maybe actually like queer is how i would identify yeah like no yeah well you know i think it's like if you know that you like i i don't know if you know that like it's not for you that it's like that you are not part of the queer community that's okay like i think not everything needs to be for everyone yeah
Starting point is 01:04:39 and i think like i respect that when i see it in people that are like, I support you. I'm not part of it. It's not like I'm not profiting me anything. I'm not taking anything from you. I just support you in whatever the fuck your life is or whatever. So yeah, no, fuck off. Absolutely. However, the second that he does become explicit about queerness in some form, we will revisit this and discuss.
Starting point is 01:05:08 Hmm. Do you think that, cause Sean Mendes is like the same kind of world, right? Well, I think like doesn't direct, like maybe not in the same way, but just gay people wish he was gay.
Starting point is 01:05:20 I think he is gay. And I think, I think Sean Mendes is the opposite of harry styles i think harry styles is straight and is just knows that there's there's like a value to seeming like hip and contemporary and queer like his young fans who are now a lot more open and accepting without alienating some of the older fans who maybe aren't or from places where it's not accepted. I think Shawn Mendes, however, I mean, I'm sorry. This is like, I know this is like harmful to him that he's like, everywhere he goes people are like, fag.
Starting point is 01:05:56 But that is a gay man. I am so sorry. I mean, like I could, yeah, we can all lie. It's fine. It's fine to be like, whatever your journey is. That is a fucking fruit, honey. Like, I just, I mean, I've seen him talk and with his, like, ex-girlfriend. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:17 And I'm like, I know this story, honey. I've watched this movie. Yes. Yeah. That is, you're a gay man. I'm like, whatever you need to do but i suppose in the different way it's like if we presume that harry is straight then yeah there's a benefit like of course there's a benefit to not come out as like be explicit about that yeah like i'm not
Starting point is 01:06:43 queer at all just right um but for like there then the opposite when it's like sean sean you know our friends harry and sean um it's the that taylor swift thing except that it's like you would like being authentic would mean that you lose a lot of opportunities. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah,
Starting point is 01:07:06 blah, blah. And that is so fucked. It is sad. And I think it's like, these people are operating inside of a, the real world. And I think it is funny.
Starting point is 01:07:15 Like it would cost you like a whole, like choice of arm will never be at a certain level just by the fact that he's gay. Like it is part of the reason that he's gay like it is part of the reason that he's like so successful in his like niche category i mean aside from just the other like stuff about him but like yeah him being so openly gay and i this is what i love and will was talking about last week it's just like someone being so explicit in the sexuality side of things about what he's interested in, his preferences and that sort of stuff. That's exactly what middle America is afraid of. Or like bumfuck nowhere Australia.
Starting point is 01:07:55 It's like someone talking about like, not I like to wear nail polish, but like I like to go to a glory hole and you know, whatever. So fuck you, you Harry you know what like maybe you are allowed in the bunker we'll just give you the code to the door but we're not going to be explicit about it so you can and just like it'll be kind of in a range you know
Starting point is 01:08:18 we'll give you each number in a range and maybe you'll talk about it I think if he ever found his way in we would tell him that we got that um like black 4.0 paint and did a big circle on the ground and then one day he would walk into the abyss yeah and he'd be gone forever yeah that's great harry and goodbye but yeah at this point in time no absolutely not get fucked yeah get fucked are the other ones bad from One Direction? I presume they're all awful.
Starting point is 01:08:48 Zayn is weirdly super cockney. And has this really thick British accent. And then that's quite funny. And he's the hot one, right? He's the hot one. He's very hot. And then there's an awful one, right? He's the hot one. He's very hot. And then there's like an awful one who is like actually so awful that it's kind of like, he's like become just like a weird, disgusting pox on the world.
Starting point is 01:09:15 Yeah, right. And then there's an Irish one who's blonde and he's just seems like an amateur. He's the baby spice. He's just like an inoffensive, like sweetie. Yeah. Yeah. And then the,
Starting point is 01:09:29 that's all of them. Yes. No, there's another one. Is there four or five? Who knows? I don't care. I think it's just four.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Is there four? They're all crushed under my sternum. Oh no, there's five. There's the other one. Gary. Yeah. And Gary's doing well
Starting point is 01:09:45 Yeah And that's it However Harry Get out And we'll be right back And now we're back for our final segment. Finally. It happened to me.
Starting point is 01:10:09 Right in front of my face. And I just cannot hide it. Are those the words? We're going to discuss today which pet gets into the bunker. Yes. Which pet? Oh, we already talked about some pets. How funny. Well, that's it. We're setting to discuss today which pet gets into the bunker. Yes. Which pet? Oh, we already talked about some pets. How funny.
Starting point is 01:10:28 Well, that's it. We're setting it up. It's thematic. Of course, Boo and Wednesday. Wednesday. Both dead. Now. Well, they were hit by cars.
Starting point is 01:10:38 No, they lived for years after that. Wow. They were very cool. They were both black cats, which explains my bad luck. You had two black cats at the same time? Mm-hmm. That's cute. You could tell them apart.
Starting point is 01:10:47 Yeah. Cute. Wednesday had that eating thing. She was a little bit of a big girl. Okay, so talking about pets. Before we started recording, I was like, are we saying like domesticated animals or like pets that we have personally had? Like, I don't't know i think it's like an it's a category yeah like i think dogs cats birds mice rats snakes lizards turtles fish
Starting point is 01:11:15 fish uh what other ones are there sea monkeys um rocks with googly eyes with the googly eyes or without your choice grasshoppers skinks that you've caught in the summer yeah yeah um there's you know lots of puffer fish uh jellyfish okay so um anything you could keep at home yeah like those crazy women like that one with the orangutan that tore the face off okay well and what everyone gets a pet um no we're just saying that if anyone is allowed a pet it has to be this category of this category okay category um okay well i have grown up with dogs and cats. Dogs and cats we've had in the family. These days, all of my family members all have dogs and cats, actually. Yeah, we still all have a mix.
Starting point is 01:12:18 Your father has cats. He has cats. My brother has both, and my mum has dog. I like dogs and cats equally. Maybe I sway more towards dogs of the world. Yeah. And then I have always had aquariums. Growing up, I've always had aquariums.
Starting point is 01:12:37 I've had big aquariums, small aquariums, freshwater aquariums. Yeah. And in more recent times, I've transitioned to keeping a shrimp. Which is the coolest pet. And very cute. And I bought an aquarium last year that I haven't set up yet, but it's ready, to have a turtle. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:02 Which I'm in a constant debate about if I will do or not. They live too long. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's my pet history as a baseline. What's your pet history, sister? So, yeah, cats. Oh, and I did have a ferret. I had a ferret for a year and a half.
Starting point is 01:13:21 So when I first, oh my God, okay. So when I first moved to the city, I moved in with my friend Claire and we went to high school together and had always talked about ferrets. We'd never seen a ferret. We were just like, ferrets are so cute. Then one day we'd been living together
Starting point is 01:13:37 for like maybe two, three months. And we were like, we can do whatever we want now. We're adults. And then we got in the car who drove claire good and we're like we will go get ferrets and while we were driving i was like looking up where to buy a ferret in victoria so you got in the car before the plan had been made like not a joke we were just like oh my, we could do that thing we always talked about. Let's just do it right now.
Starting point is 01:14:08 See, where's that woman gone? Where is she? You become a planner in your old age. Oh, my God. So then we drove to the peninsula, funnily enough, and went to a ferret breeder who had just, like, He was doing what to the ferrets? parrot breeder who had just like... He was doing what to the ferrets?
Starting point is 01:14:26 These like massive outdoor like enclosures of ferrets. These small, long creatures bopping around. And then we wanted like kind of young ferrets, of course. Oh, God. And in the pen of the ferrets of like the younger age um there were like lots of albinos and then two that were like the natural color and we were like well we want the natural color so claire got her ferret and then i went to get the last one and the person was like oh no no you don't want that one it's missing a leg i was like what and then i was like well no? And then I was like, well, no, I want it.
Starting point is 01:15:05 Like, it's cute. Like, and it was missing its back left leg. And then the breeder was like, all right, well, I'll give you a discount. One leg up. And I got it for half price. Half price? Yeah. If anything, it should have been a quarter.
Starting point is 01:15:20 Well, right. Yeah. And then we went home and had ferrets. And we had the the i lived there for like a year and then when i moved out i didn't take my ferret with me because we were like we should keep them together a ferret is for life not just for christmas well claire had them forever until she gave them to another friend so but they were fucking awful they were the worst pets i've ever had in my life. Why? They stink.
Starting point is 01:15:46 And you didn't like that smell? They bite. You can't toilet train them. They're awful. They're really, really awful. But they're extremely cute. They are so cute. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:58 And they sleep a lot. So when they would wake up, they would be really personable and they would come up and they would like kind of snuggle and bounce around and be really cute. And then once they'd been up for half an hour, they'd come over and just like bite you. And Claire used to feed them chicken wings and they used to always hide the chicken wings in and under my bed.
Starting point is 01:16:18 And every night when I would get home, I'd have to like check for fucking chicken wings first. Claire, stop giving the ferrets chicken wings that's quite cute no but anyway sorry sorry i just remembered that time i had a ferret why would why did they what do they think they're doing when they bite you i think they just don't like you know when a dog bites you yeah playfully it they know like they're not biting to pierce yeah because they have that you know ability to like tell the difference yeah but ferrets don't have that they just think that they're having fun with you yeah but like they have really sharp teeth and yeah they're they're
Starting point is 01:16:58 they're awful wow so never again with the ferrets. Absolutely not. If I ever, Laps, sister, listener, Matt, anyone, remind me of this moment. I'm not having stinky ferrets. They're awful. We had female. They were both females and we had them desexed and they still stank. Wait, why does having reproductive organs make them stinky?
Starting point is 01:17:24 Because they're trying to get some, you know, that's their armpit smell. They're musking. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. And the boys smell worse. They're awful.
Starting point is 01:17:34 Awful. Anyway, so what did you have? I had a pet rat named Marcy as well. Marcy. Which is funny that we're rat and ferret people, but I guess you could tell that that's what this podcast was brought to you by Oh my god Ew
Starting point is 01:17:48 Ew We really are just so fat But it's because I wanted a cat And my mum was like, we're not getting a cat We'll get you a mouse or whatever And then she did some research Or someone was talking to her and was like Don't get mice
Starting point is 01:18:03 Mice stink And weirdly enough, rats are just a lot more hygienic So we got rat some research or someone was talking to her and was like don't get mice mice stink and weirdly enough rats are just a lot more hygienic so we got rat yeah mossy and she was a sweetie pie yeah um but like yeah i just like i can't deal with those animals that are just like constantly pissing and shitting uh-huh and like just you know what i mean it's just yeah and like they're just too fragile they're constantly about to die like you need something that can get hit by a car and live just to survive being my family yeah yeah yeah um there was a weird parrot man that lived on my street that had a giant tropical parrot oh my god like that was like i don, like, giant and would sit on his shoulder and he'd just walk around.
Starting point is 01:18:47 That's so cool. And I was like, your identity can't be parrot. Well, check it out, darling. I think it was. Yeah. But, yeah, birds as well because they have, like, the weird thing where they're, like, those big birds. They think that you're their like life mate. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:05 And so they become super protective of you. I don't like that. Big birds, birds. Big bird. Big bird on the gravel of China. Birds freak me out. Yeah. I just can't tell what they're thinking.
Starting point is 01:19:20 Yeah. Love undomesticated birds birds especially visiting my bird bath um but yeah but i would never have a pet bird like it's just weird as well and i also think like don't they need to like fly around what i even like people who have like a pen or whatever you still fly in like 20 meters to the other side yeah um i just't, they need to fly like a lot. Well, I remember hooking up with some guys, like a couple and one of them had,
Starting point is 01:19:50 well, they had both had like a bird that was like a budgie or something. And it would just fly around the apartment. So number one, you just find like random bird shit on things, which is so not it. But then it's just like hard when like, like later on they were like oh
Starting point is 01:20:07 we accidentally like one of us stood on like harry or whatever and it's like i can't be sad about that that's so stupid like it's just like why are you living like this why have you turned your life into an obstacle course oh my god because i think that's the thing it's like does it add like how much complication versus how much joy does it add to your life yeah and i think birds are more complicated than a dog with like less affection less of the fun things that's why it's like with a fish tank relatively low amount of like it's going to impact your life. Yeah. It's not going to ever get underfoot. It's not going to ever like shit all over your apartment.
Starting point is 01:20:51 Yeah. You can choose when to interact with it, but you get almost no, well, you get absolutely no affection from it. Yes. It's like a moving painting more than anything. Wow. But. Okay.
Starting point is 01:21:06 But that's the thing So it's like There's that trade off Whereas like yeah Dogs add a shit ton Of complication To your life For every second That they're in your life
Starting point is 01:21:14 Yeah Feeding Walking Vet bills Kennels Yeah Like Just their random
Starting point is 01:21:21 Fighting Fucking furniture That ends up in your life Yeah Like things I don't know Just constantly Having to think about them When you want to go on vacation Like just their random fucking furniture that ends up in your life. Yeah. Like things, I don't know, just constantly having to think about them when you want to go on vacation. Yeah. No, but you get the most personable creature that's like going to actually want to spend
Starting point is 01:21:36 time with you and like be a big old sweetie. But yeah. You currently have a cat at home. Yes. Tigre Your housemate's cat Yep Which is the perfect Can I say
Starting point is 01:21:48 If you live in a share house Get your housemate to get a pet Because then Everything is not my issue Like I can opt in Like I'll help And I'll take care of Tigre When he goes away
Starting point is 01:22:02 And I'll You know, whatever But I Like, you know, whatever. But I like, you know, Tigre needs to go to the vet at the last minute. That's not, that's not me. It's not your problem.
Starting point is 01:22:11 I'll be like, Oh my God, look, he's bleeding. But then that's, that's it. He's vomiting blood. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:22:17 exactly. But it's like, that's as far as my expectations go. Like you couldn't send me to jail for anything. Yeah. See, this is how I feel about having children. Cause that's the experience I have with my nephews and you're like it's
Starting point is 01:22:27 bleeding you're just a really good uncle yeah yeah yeah um yeah that's what my brother said when we had a baby he was like i was born to be an uncle it's meant to be well that's the thing that's why you know genetically there's always a gay in the family. Not that your brother is gay, but just that you have to have someone to take care of the children. I feel like a lot of people get dogs just as a warm-up to having children. Either a practice or a Band-Aid. That's right. It's like a little test run.
Starting point is 01:23:07 It's like, oh, could we handle a child together and probably a lot of the time people are like it's too much responsibility but did you enlist to anything like that no we didn't have any pets before we had a baby we just went straight into it i think that's probably the best way to go do you have a pet now me yeah um i'm actually looking after my old family cat at the moment at home calypso yeah and she well she was kind of my cat at when i was living at home and then when i moved to share houses i was just like she was an indoor cat and i was just like i can't take her yeah yeah it's not it's not fair on the housemates to always be like making sure she doesn't run onto the road and you know just like rental properties are hard to get cats in or pets into in general anyway and i mean they used to be yeah now you're allowed to
Starting point is 01:23:51 yeah so i just was like i'll just leave her at home she's much happier there and just go and visit her and stuff but yeah it's so nice she's just coming for a visit at the moment and so she just like is so cuddly and affectionate some Some cats are, like, really a bit, you know. Flighty. Yeah, or, like, you have to work really hard to, like, earn their affection and stuff. Or they, yeah, are a bit, yeah, not very nice. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:18 But this one's good. She's great. But she's getting really old now, so she doesn't move much. Yeah, I think when they get old, they become more docile, which is fabulous. Yes. That's, you really want an old one. Because then they can't run. Drag their legs along the ground, their back legs.
Starting point is 01:24:35 My boyfriend, Kurjan, hates animals. He hates them. He likes the thought. And when we first started dating, I was like, yeah, I'm not really drawn to the idea. I don't feature the idea of getting a pet. I like animals existing in the world. Great. But I don't need a pet right now at this point in my life because it's not like I'm going to be staying in one place.
Starting point is 01:25:03 i'm going to be staying in one place or i don't want to have that feeling of like i have to to be here reliably for the life of this animal which is you know 20 years sometimes even more and so it's like wow what what am i doing for the next 20 years and so it's like i take that very seriously i wouldn't want to do that to an animal but like i didn't realize until later into our relationship how much he was like oh no i just don't fuck with those motherfuckers yeah like i don't want to touch them i don't want to talk about them i don't want to look at them like keep that shit away from me because it's just too much does he like fish though i don't i think he just thinks it's all a liability He said as much
Starting point is 01:25:47 He would just be like, no, that's too much bullshit Oh, funny I've had fish before and I like having fish It's fun It's nice to watch them just floating around Trapped In a little bunker You feel like a powerful
Starting point is 01:26:03 Celestial goddess Yeah, you can send the food down Here you go Yeah In a little bunker You feel like a powerful Celestial goddess Yeah You can send the food down You know Just Here you go Here's some food But
Starting point is 01:26:11 I had a fish In my last year house Before I moved in With my partner And I loved that fish I named him Linus And
Starting point is 01:26:21 He was just such a sweetie He would like Come up and like Nibble my finger. And then one time in the middle of the night, I think he was getting a bit restless or something, or maybe the tank wasn't quite clean, and he would start to kind of try and jump out of the tank a bit.
Starting point is 01:26:38 Suicide. Yeah, death by jumping. And then so I was, like, really like really like anxious about him jumping out and one time in the middle of the night i just had this dream that like and i kind of heard noise and i was like something's not right and then i just woke up and i couldn't see him in the tank i just sat bolt upright and i couldn't see him and he jumped out down the back of my chest of drawers where his tank was on top of my chest of drawers so there's a giant water fish tank on back of my chest of drawers where his tank was on top of my chest of drawers so there's a giant water fish tank on top of my chest of drawers and it's full of clothes so it's
Starting point is 01:27:12 extremely heavy and i just heard him flapping down there and i just got my torch and i was like i have to get him so it was like you know those stories about like mothers who just like lift giant car off the baby on the road or something giant like building off the baby So it was like, you know those stories about like mothers who just like lift giant steel. The car off, the baby on the road or something. Yeah, giant like building off the baby. Linus, no! And I just moved this whole chest of drawers. I don't think I could ever lift it again.
Starting point is 01:27:35 And the fish tank, it was all like full of like water was like sloshing around and stuff. Oh, good. He needed some of that dark there. That's right. And I managed to move it. This is at three in the morning. And then I picked him up and, you know, of that dark there. That's right. And I managed to move it. This is at three in the morning. And then I picked him up and, you know, it was like classic.
Starting point is 01:27:48 I just dropped him in the water and he just lay there, like on the side. And then eventually just like started wiggling his tail a little bit. He was probably out for, I don't know, I don't know how long he was out before I woke up. But I heard him flapping down there. So it would have only been a couple of minutes. But I couldn't believe that I just, you know, like woke up in the middle of my sleep. Saved your child's life.
Starting point is 01:28:10 That is your, like, test run of having a parenting. Yeah. You saved Linus. And wait, where's Linus now? He's dead. Wait, what happened to him? I don't know. I think he just got tired of life. No, no? I don't know. I think he just got tired of life.
Starting point is 01:28:27 No, no, I don't know. He's kind of stopped eating for a while. He might have gotten sick. I'm not sure. But, yeah, they don't last for ages, goldfish, unless, like, you are really on top of, like, keeping the tank clean. Aren't they, like, the lowest effort fish? They're pretty, yeah, they're pretty low manians
Starting point is 01:28:46 but the thing is and lazy's always she's had aquarium so she knows this but people who have never owned aquariums will always ask like oh my god what are your fish's names and it's like well they're fish so like they will die it's funny giving them funny names, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like pet fish aren't like a pet dog. No. Like, it will die unexplainably, and then you'll get another one. I've still had a lot of emotional attachment to different fish
Starting point is 01:29:21 that I've had through the years, but it's not the same. Yeah. So like. You give them a little nickname, but you can't be like, yeah. Yeah. Super like. Yeah. I mean, when you have a bunch of like small fish that all look the same,
Starting point is 01:29:36 it's just like, oh, they just want, they could be, that could be George and that could be. Yeah. But I do like, I mean, like that is kind of the only instance where you could keep a swarm of something like a giant school of tetras yes so it's like what about a swarm of bees and maybe it is bees we've got we already got bees yeah and jokes on you because we already have the oceanarium oh yeah we don't need to worry about fish tanks today and we've got the meg. Yeah. The real pet.
Starting point is 01:30:05 And some crustaceans. Yeah. I love, I mean, I love sea monkeys. I think sea monkeys are so cool. Just because it's like, it's just a shitty thing. It's a shitty thing, but it's also. Do they just grow from like powder? Well, it's just their eggs.
Starting point is 01:30:23 They have eggs in it. Oh, right. And they're just dried eggs. Well, yeah, they're just kept their eggs. It's a genetically modified like type of brine shrimp that like is able to reactivate after a long time in dormancy. Because a lot of aquatic life like that, like things that live in ponds and stuff as you go through the seasons they will yeah like if they lay all the eggs while they're alive then in the summer when everything dries up the eggs survive and then when the next wet season comes everything comes back to life and the cycle
Starting point is 01:30:56 starts again so you could take that and put them into a little packet yes and that's i think i love the branding yeah of that which is so chic that it's like, I don't know, calling them sea monkeys, making that imagery of them. Yeah. It just, it's like, puts your imagination to work. I think it's like kind of similar to when people, you know, have the voice that they do for their dog. And like, you know, like how dogs have like a whole overlay of like personality on them.
Starting point is 01:31:25 Yeah. Where they're like, oh, this is Terry. Terry's a grumpy old man. Oh, right. And it's like, well, Terry's not a grumpy old man, Trish. Yeah. He's a dog. He's a dog.
Starting point is 01:31:33 I can see him right there. Yeah. But you've imbued him. Yeah, you've put a whole story on him. Yeah, right, right, right. That makes him like, you know, Terry doesn't like it when I vacuum. He thinks it's really, you know. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:48 So if I ever got a dog, I think it would have to be a big dog. Not a big, big dog. Medium size. Kelpie. Blue Heeler. These are the dogs with like personality, vibe. Yep. Very intelligent.
Starting point is 01:32:00 Very intelligent and not small, which is like an unfortunate quality for a dog well so just the ones like the ones that are like inbred as fuck like i just think are so tragic and like not like it's not that i want them to die it's just that they look like they're dying and i feel for them because it's like yeah we should this is our fault humanity's gone too far and we need to get rid of you it's like um it's like cows and chickens and stuff in like factory farms it's like i don't want them to die i just don't want the next generation to be born yes so it ends we just need to and i think that would be great if we could just get rid of all the super inbred dog breeds just start again get rid of the schnauzers. Get rid of the, like, bulldogs.
Starting point is 01:32:49 Get rid of the, like, everything. It's like the chihuahuas. Like, they can all go. We'll just kill them. Oh, okay. No, sorry. What do we do? Nuder them.
Starting point is 01:33:00 Oh, my God. And then just not make it illegal to make them. Okay. Because they're, like, okay because they're like fucked they're so fucked um yeah it's cruel to create something you know is going to live in pain and yes like there's um there are so dear listener you probably know this about me by now but i do frequent a lot of weird reptile channels on youtube and which i don't know why i never want to own a like reptile reptile but anyway
Starting point is 01:33:30 um there are particular breeds so like in like snake keeping there's all these different like morphs that you can get which is just like different color variations um and there are specific color variations that come with certain defects of the animal like this is chelsea she doesn't have a liver but look at how cool she is yeah but she gleams in the sun isn't that cool um yeah to the point where like it is like some of them are so bad that it's like it's illegal or whatever to purposefully breed for those traits because those traits come with um yeah like they can't they don't have body uh probably like motor function and stuff like that like redheads is that so no um yeah which is so weird. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:25 No, it's exactly that. It's so depressing. But yeah, it's like, well, why? Yeah, don't make something like that. Have you seen Gattaca? Exactly, that poor Ethan Hawke. Okay, so what are we thinking? A dog?
Starting point is 01:34:42 No, I'm not doing dogs or cats I just think it's so like It's just funny that this has become the fundamental human debate And we can't just put a crown on one of those two things Because I'm not indulging people Do you like dogs or cats? I'm like, they're both fine They're both doing different things Like it's so weird how long and how many
Starting point is 01:35:06 times in your life you're gonna have this conversation it feels like a conversation you're only gonna have in primary school then you find out it's a conversation people have into the day they fucking die as if anyone gives a shit like no one's saying like do you like zebras or goldfish more you know i mean it's just like they're just different things it's fine they're allowed to be out here doing different things sure um i'm tantalized by the sea monkeys my mother killed my sea monkeys while i was away in camp oh shit yeah it was a there was a heat wave okay so the sea monkeys though there's this product that i've always wanted more than anything. Little bubble dome watch. And it had a little like you unscrew the bubble dome, fill it with water,
Starting point is 01:35:50 and you could put your favorite two sea monkeys in there and walk around with them for the day. What? Is that not incredible? Oh, my God. It looks like from the future. I would wear it as an adult and just carry around like little sea monkeys. I mean, that feels cruel to those brand stream monkeys. Oh, why do they care?
Starting point is 01:36:07 They don't have souls. Oh, my God. Do you think, I feel like, I mean, I'm a vegetarian. I just don't eat like any animal things. But like, I don't understand. Like, I'm not going to think about it because i know i'm not going to eat it but like the ethics of like eating muscles yeah and clams i just i don't i don't know like whether they feel it well just whether they're anything yeah well apparently they're
Starting point is 01:36:38 not they don't have a central nervous system yeah right but like in heart, I say it's an animal. But is it? This is a woman who just put a stiletto heel through the United States of America. And she's suddenly caring about these mussels and clams. Yeah. Because like I would never eat that. But what a weird, I don't know. But you'd eat seaweed.
Starting point is 01:37:03 Yeah, right. So it's like... Where's the line? Yeah. That's often debated. I don't know. We can't answer these questions here today. But clams are delicious.
Starting point is 01:37:13 Oh, my God. You like seafood. I do. Well, seafood is the only meat that I eat. Yeah, yeah. Because I've killed them before. And I'll do it again. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:37:23 Okay. Well, we're certainly fucking not putting ferrets in let me tell you that much yeah um and i think it's like yeah it's just those genres because otherwise a cladsdale horse is quite cool oh a miniature pony as well people always like people have like yeah there's like why i'm in a japonii just thinking about like pets that people would get when you live in like near country areas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like there'd be just people that had horses.
Starting point is 01:37:51 Which is weird because horses are like so expensive. Like that is like a real, like you do get the majesty of a horse. Yes. But God, you don't even, like they can't come and like sit on your lap you know what i love oh maybe this is my pitch is arnold schwarzenegger's donkey he has a donkey he has a pet donkey it's really cute i think you've brought this up before probably um he makes a lot of social media content with his donkey it It's really cute. Actually, though, the thing that I've always wanted,
Starting point is 01:38:29 which is donkey adjacent, is the little goat. Oh, goats are great. I love how fucking terrifying they look. And they scream. They scream and they've got the eyes of the devil. Yes. And they've got the horns of the devil. And they're great climbing.
Starting point is 01:38:49 They're more athletic than we'll ever be. Yeah, if you down they jump on your back that's so cute and i think that i could probably convince kergen to get a goat with me that's great yeah that's pretty and i love a like a an animal that comes in natural like heel sounds. Like, ooh, where are you going in those Manolos? Is that my pet goat or is that a businesswoman coming to the front door? Exactly. And goats are the businesswomen of the petting zoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, for sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:21 Look, I think, thinking about what we have in the bunker already, we've got plenty of shelves that need to be stocked at the reject shop. We could put some sea monkeys on those shelves. And whoever might like to set up a little aquarium. Get a pet. Yeah. That's quite good. Okay.
Starting point is 01:39:39 I like it. Well, you know, as well, because if any of you want to actually buy sea monkeys, it's the original neo-Nazi. No, the Nazi. Not neo-Nazi. He was just like an old school Nazi who made sea monkeys. What? He's dead.
Starting point is 01:39:57 But there's a whole story here. But his family have like locked up the patent for the specific for the genetically modified sea monkey. So the new sea monkeys and water dragons, which you can get at Officeworks, and there's a load of fucking crap. I hate it. It's so ugly. Also, water dragons? Baby, no.
Starting point is 01:40:18 We're not going to a land of myth and legend. We're going to 50s ladies that are underwater with hair. Yeah. legend we're going to like 50s ladies that are underwater with hair yeah anyway they don't always hatch oh they rarely do hatch which is really frustrating anyway so we'll make sure that it's the old school nazi sea monkey jesus christ wow why There's just so many Nazis out there. I guess it was just a time where there was a lot of them hanging around together. Jesus. Yeah, which Nazi gets into the bunker?
Starting point is 01:40:54 No. No. None of them. Zelda being brave here on the pod and saying zero Nazis allowed in the bunker. What about Coco Chanel? No, not even Coco okay all right well that's it sea monkeys the smell of petrol stocked at the uh reject shop the smell of petrol through an air wick especially you colab uh sprayer that goes which is now the official time demarcator in the bunker
Starting point is 01:41:25 and then oh no oh and Harry Styles can fuck off the absence of Harry Styles is now getting into the bunker in fact when I aim at planet earth I'll be looking at his house first that'll be the entry point yeah
Starting point is 01:41:40 incredible well gorgeous another week of satisfied customers we will see you all in hell yes um if you have the eyes of a goat you'll be first in okay thank you so much death to everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Bledling. You got something to tell us? Tell us at deathtoeveryonepod at gmail.com. Or fanfiction.
Starting point is 01:42:16 And if you'd like to support us, why don't you do so at patreon.com slash death to everyone. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. so patreon.com that's it everyone bye

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