Death To Everyone - Death To... Katy Perry Music Videos, Play Equipment & 7-Eleven

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

Things get HEATED this week on the pod as the celestial goddesses decide which Katy Perry music video should be preserved in the bunker, the piece of play equipment that will be used til the end of time and the item that shall be purchases from 7-Eleven before we all meet our maker. Death To Everyone!!! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 TURN TO EVERYONE 🎵 🎵 ESPER SUILLO 🎵 🎵 ESPER SUILLO 🎵 🎵 ESPER SUILLO 🎵 Oh, my Lord, it's Friday. Oh, it is. We've never disclosed a recording time before. I know.

Well, this is an unusual one. Yeah. We're throwing you off the scent. We should be afraid. We've spent all day together and it shows. Yeah, it's a catchphrase. Welcome to Death to Everyone. My name is Lazy Susan.

And I'm Zelda Moon. And we're your... Celestial goddesses? At the end of time. Oh, yes. So you are the listener. Yes. Dear listener.

You're not doing anything new with your hair, but what you're doing already is enough. You look so good. And I think, you know, we're focused in our society on change. Sometimes staying still is the bravest act of all. And you look fantastic don't change a thing you know unless it's not working in this case change right now so this is a show a podcast yes um and it's a show about the end of the world it is we're gonna decide the best of the best to be preserved for

the next generation if we get that lucky well it's hard to know it's hard to know what new like the next generation or the survivors of the apocalypse should get you know as a culture yeah what is worth saving and who gets to decide us yeah i forgot two melbourne drag icons icons do you think we're allowed to be icons now i think we are the most famous drag queens in australia well then why the fuck wouldn't the age right about my death i'm lying no one messaged me in the ensuing weeks to say i think she's wrong which means everyone thinks i'm gonna die in obscurity yeah choking on hubba bubba in a bathtub okay if you had to choose between hubba bubba or like i don't know what it was called but you know the one that was like a big rope? Hubba Bubba Tape. Oh, okay, yeah. Shane Brand, honey.

Oh, wow. Okay, do you want it in a block or do you want it in a tape? A block. The tape is very powdered. It's powdered and when the kids take a bite out of the whole roll, that's sick. That is sick, but I did do it once or twice. But I fucking loved Hubba Bubba. Famously, I kept bubble gum behind my ear and then I got infected and had to have the whole thing.

Why? What? And. Wait. Yeah. How did it get infected? Because I kept it there. But what was, how was it entering your body?

Well, a wet foreign lump being kept behind one's ear. You're so foul. For weeks's ear for weeks weeks well until it got infected yeah that's because of charlie the chocolate factory a hundred percent yeah yeah i was like quite young like maybe like seven or eight or something and your parents didn't notice a bath time they didn't know it was after like when i was bathing myself. So you're old enough to bathe yourself, but not old enough to understand that that's stupid. We all learned lessons. And that one.

That? You know. So when you say infect, like a rash? No, it was like weeping. Oh my God. Yeah, like, yeah. I mean, it wasn't like, and then there was a scab and then it was over. But. So many of your life stories could be explained in this fashion.

Yeah. I also, the only thing I have ever stolen in my entire life, and I very rarely break any crime because I'm scared. Break any crime. Yeah. I don't do any, or laws. That's what I mean. You know what, leave me alone.

Yeah, but I'm too scared to do anything. But when I was, this was before the infection. Yeah. But I stole a packet of bubble gum from Safeway in Rye, where I grew up, and I kept it hidden. And I remember, like, I had my backpack for up and I kept it hidden and I remember like I had my backpack for school and I kept it in the left pocket this was primary school like I maybe was again like seven or eight yeah and I kept it in a secret pocket in the backpack and no one knew um I don't

know if I ever even told my parents wow yeah they might so that's how i know you were raised and socialized as a young geeky boy and not a cool hot chick because gals like were thievering yeah like that's a hot chick thing to do and lord knows we did pocket it um oh god i remember one of my friends who shall remain nameless for the sake of her, you know, thriving career as a judge or whatever she does now. But she was like fully racking like big ticket items from Maya, like perfumes. Oh, wow. Quite often. This would be like 17. And then one day she got caught by a security guard and she said, beyond the feeling of like I broke the law or whatever,

she was like, this is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me. And I'm probably never going to do this again. But yeah, I don't know. For a second I like dabbled with shoplifting. Yeah. And then it just didn't sit right. Funny that. Like I don't mind.

Like I mean like obviously Woolworths and shit, but I just am like nowadays, like good luck to you. Yeah. Because they have the cameras. I don't mind. Like, I mean, like, obviously, Woolworths and shit. But I just am like, nowadays, like, good luck to you. Yeah. Because they have the cameras. I deal with thieves all day, every day in my regular job. I do, too, in my drag career. I've seen you all with your yellow wigs. Yeah, it's crazy the audacity of some people.

But, like, okay, so, so like you work in retail, but like it's like no one is doing it like coals and woolies as far as stopping you from stealing. Have you seen the instant playback at the self-checkout? No. I don't, I try to not look at cameras of myself. They have a top-down camera. And then when the person, when they get the like at the self-checkout like they come over to press the little buttons and swipe that then it like plays the funniest home videos but

the funniest home video is you like from five seconds ago scanning the and it is so embarrassing even though you weren't doing anything wrong because i'm like god this is my me time like i don't like come here to be judged. I come here to walk around, listen to, like, a whole hour-long podcast and just enjoy myself in the fluorescent lighting. And just, like, it's, like, pretty much the only time in my life I'm alone. Wow. Yeah.

Okay. The other day I went out with you to trivia and some gorgeous friends. And afterwards I ducked into the Coles opposite. Which is in Fitzroy. Yeah. Collingwood. Yes. I would never go to a Collingwood Coles.

It was a woeful experience. Honey. But I needed to get a few select items. And then when I got to the self-serve checkout, I didn't have a bag with me that night i didn't have a jumper either it was quite chilly anyway um and i considered i was like do i pay for this bag or do i just put my things in it and walk away and let me tell you i paid the 15 cents for that bag well i love those new paper bags. Yeah, it was paper bags.

Because we went through the period where it was all the green bags. They're disgusting. I hate the way that they look, the way they feel on the skin. The paper bag, it's romantic. I feel like I'm in a 90s rom-com. Right? Those bags that were so tall and these have handles, that's good. That's fine.

They're optional. They're tucked away until you decide to use them. Yes. That's chic. Clutching those bags. To your chest. Also, when I was in high school, I absolutely paraded around like holding my books on my chest. And none of the other boys did. The girls did.

And me. Why weren't you hanging out with the girls and being cool and shoplifting things? I was hanging out with the girls, but I'm too scared to do that. You should have been the lookout girl i had like one key male friend through pretty much all of my education and he was only friends with me outside of school like we hung out almost every weekend but in school it was different circles and then i had my girls who i'm still amazing friends with the girls're girls. In school and out of school. But, yeah, it was like there was one male friend. And I like that. Yeah, well, I mean, listen, I just can't believe that you hung around

with that many women and you didn't go through this phase. Yeah, I wonder if they were stealing things. They absolutely were. Show me a woman in the early noughties and I'll show you an impulse body spray tucked inside of a pair of school uniform track pants yeah absolutely trigger brothers yeah um okay okay don't shop at the collingwood woolworths you'll run into someone you know what's happening in your life no i don't know i don't know it's rupaul's drag race audition Yes. And I may or may not be once again attempting my sixth audition.

Amazing. I didn't think I'd get here. I thought that like at some- Oh, you thought you'd get on the first time. Well, do you know what? Like maybe. Like I did. And I'm glad that I didn't every day.

If I'd gotten on the first time, that would be it for me. You should have gotten on season two of Down Under, however. I'm like, you know what? I think things happen. Objectively. They're meant to happen when they're happening. Yeah. And I hope against hope and pray against pray that it can be happening this time.

But if it doesn't, I can just, the Westgate is right there. Fucking hell. I am not applying this year because I am in the middle of moving house, which we have done all day. We have been together for the past 12 hours. 12 hours, yep. And it's finally over. However, I now need to set up the new house um and the audition tape is due in six days so it's just not going to happen for this time i love that you say

that but it's like i haven't shot a single thing yeah true we're actually at the same point um so you still could i could but i can't do that no can't. I don't have the mental capacity, which is a shame because I couldn't apply last year either. And I would have both years, but it's just life. It's a weird time of year to do it. It finds a way, gets in the way. Like November's hard. Anyway, Zelda, what's the apocalypse this week? Okay.

I'm out there in the universe. I'm occupying the celestial void and I feel like a little snack so i've got my celestial sized saladas yeah and i'm gonna squish planet earth between the two yep a salada yep and it's gonna squeeze out those little holes and i'm gonna gobble it down which continent is squeezing out the middle hole the sahara desert well, we cut out your entire conversation about the Sahara Desert. You did too. Velva has a long diatribe about how she's obsessed

with the Sahara Desert, and it was not in the episode. Yeah. Dear listener, we oscillate between Lazy Susan and myself editing. I would love for you to have a fun game of deciding each week who edited it. I think there are some stylistic choices. I love how you edit it, my sister.

Thank you so much. This isn't a criticism. It is an observation. You did say the word edit. One of us edits it and the other one assembles it lovingly. Wow. But, yes, you cut out that and you cut out some other things last week and i'll never forgive you for it it's curating an experience so if you enjoyed

last week's episode know that you could have not have but uh yes apocalyptic salada and um i've noticed a recurring theme in you know your destruction of the earth is that it's often a giant woman doing something awful to Earth. That is what this podcast is about, sister. So where's the bunker in that situation? It's squeezed out. It's squeezed out one of the holes. It's on a satellite. Yeah, it's like Salada's very crumbly.

It's on one of those crumbs and it's just drifting through space. Yeah, like a Vitaweed, my self. Oh. Yeah, I like a Vida Wheat Mash, here. Oh. Yeah. Or what about this? Let me give you something. This? Let me give you 1998 core.

Krusket. Krusket. Love a Krusket. Cheers. What? Jats. Jats. What?

What about, you know how you can get like the like what is it water cracker yeah and then the water cracker with like pepper i'd be so mad if i was a water cracker because you had like a year where you were the cracker yeah you were like very chic and cool and you were not the savoy you were the watercracker everyone was obsessed with you and then those new chunky like german bread looking motherfuckers came out with the like pistachio and apricot in them and they're like thick like yeah you know whole wheat yeah and like watercracker who yeah maybe secondary choice and even if i was gonna go and slum it with a watercracker at that point i'm going over savoy because i'm like at least you have at least you're having yeah you feel something yeah um and also it's like a water cracker can't bear the dip no she cracks under

the pressure she can't handle it because i'm getting a lot of dip the one thing i know about this girl she's dipping it the cracker is just a vessel for the dip. Yeah. It's a social courtesy that I'm not just shoveling it into my face. You went to a Vogue ball and you said, they keep saying dip, but I can't see it. I can't see it. Are you shaking away a little table of treats or are we just going to watch these women dance?

Did I bring my own cheese knife or what? However, my preferred method for all, like my preferred vessel for all of this is Turkish bread because very soft bread doesn't scratch your throat and you just rip it apart. That's so good. I don't like it when people don't toast it and add olive oil and make it a moment.

I'll bet. And like a little rubber, like rid of garlic on it. That's so chic. Okay. chic okay okay well we've got some great categories this week so you know we're going to be deciding what's going into the bunker um that floats outside of the savoy cracker of earth we'll be right back after this break bye and we're back hello hi you still look good but you kind of you look sad oh yeah why hmm right in right in should we do a personal advice section i want i've been waiting you know what no one's written in i'm just to be brave and say it. Yeah.

We get lots of messages, but like we say the email. Every week. No one. Should we say it at the top of the episode this time? Because a lot of people just don't make it that far. That's true. Well, here we are begging. No, I'm not begging.

I am. I'm saying if you need help, we're here to help. I'm begging. Like if you have a category you want discussed, or if you have some advice you'd like, or if you want to know if you yourself are getting into the bunker, you can send us an email. And that's deathtoeveryonepod at gmail.com. That's right. Lines are now open.

And I wish you would. I wish you would. Please. Okay. Okay. First category is, which Katy Perry music video is getting into the bunker. So as discussed previously on this very podcast, every gay person has a diva. Yes.

Zelda's secondary diva after Jennifer Lopez is Catherine Perry. Yes. Who is weirdly like people have strong opinions about now. Yeah. Talking out the other side of their neck about Miss Catherine, where I'm like, she's not controversial. No, actively not so. She kills nuns, but the Catholic Church is not without its sins,

so let's call it even. Call it a day. Yeah. She's just evening out. Yeah. Yeah. Like she's a big old dork loser. Yes.

But try hard. Pathetic. But it's like how many. Like attention seeking. Is there a pop star that isn't like a loser? Like maybe Rihanna. Yeah, true. She's pretty cool. Yeah. My fear with rihanna is that she might be a

bit social climbing like she would only hang out with people that matched her steez yeah that's and that's kind of lame but yeah she's very concerned with optics obviously like britney spears is a big old dorkus malorcus like she's sweetie but she's a lame, lame sweetie. Lady Gaga, obviously. Yeah, theater. Like, I mean, anyone that was in the Mickey Mouse Club is lame. What? That's where Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, they all started on the show called the Mickey Mouse Club. What is the club?

It's a TV show. Oh, my God. What? Justin Timberlake? Yeah. That's when him and Britney met when they, my God. What? Justin Timberlake? Yeah. That's when him and Britney met, when they were like eight. What? Yes.

And Ryan Gosling. Gosling. Yeah, Ryan Goslamay. And then the other one who was in Homeland. No, she wasn't in Homeland. The other one. Oh, that one. Yeah, no.

Okay, yeah. Anyway, they all came from- Wait, what was the show about? They just did songs. Mickey Mouse Club. They, no. Okay, yeah. Anyway, they all came from- What was the show about? They just did songs. Mickey Mouse Club. They did numbers. About Mickey Mouse. They did spot numbers. That's not occasionally there'd be a giant Mickey.

Oh. Yeah. God, I can't stand the idea of that. Wow. So if you came from that, and then like Madonna, she seems very lame. Like just, if you were at a party with a non-famous Madonna who'd never made it, unbearable person, I imagine. Yeah. Do you think Beyonce is cool?

No. She's like very like churchy Christian girl. Oh. Who loves to dance. Well, speaking of Katy Perry. Exactly. I just think it's like, have you met a cool, like they wouldn't be cool because they would feel at home in themselves. They wouldn't need the world to love them.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But you know what? Male pop stars, they're the fucking worst. Justin Timberlake. Ugh. Bruno Mars.

Oh. Like, it's like. Men. Okay. Okay. But anyway, so all of this to say, we katie perry she hasn't secured a pot in the yet but her oeuvre of music videos i was noticing the other day it spans so many different like moments that are essential to the culture yes Like she has ridden a wave that spans two decades or a decade and a half.

And I think like we need to take at least one of these music videos into the bunker. I couldn't agree more. It's such a little like personality test to decide what of these music videos appeals to you. Yeah. So. I, okay.

I'm going to assume that you haven't seen these music videos if you're listening give you a quick little rundown of what happened oh get get as who hasn't you know it's funny i often play katie perry at work because she's great um and yeah someone i i said an obscure thing about one of the music videos and someone was like oh oh yeah, I remember that. Like, yeah, people know. Okay. Katy Perry's very good. So what music video is getting? And it'll be playing in the toilet.

Okay. We have a toilet? Wow. Well, yeah. Okay. We're putting in our toilet. Yeah. Okay.

And we'll be playing in the toilet. Do you know that? Okay. So at VCA, grad show. Yeah. They have like all the art artists put in there. And when someone put in their video work, my friend Marday, some rich woman bought his video.

Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was Nina's, my friend Nina. She did video work. And this woman, very wealthy woman, was like, can I buy your video work? And she's like, yes. And she's like, I'm going to play it in my bathroom. Wow. video work and she's like yes and she's like i'm gonna play it in my bathroom wow and she was just gonna have fine art like video art playing in her toilet yeah which i think is very fabulous and rich very rich like the guest because you know what this woman said she said when i have dinner

parties people can come and then when they go to the toilet they experience your work yeah and they come out it's a conversation starter true chic and cool yeah yeah and that way you don't have to supply your own video work when you watch tiktoks well she had that tv installed she'd better put something on there i i want to know where in the room the tv was is it embedded in the wall is it like you know how in shops they kind of like will flip a tv so it's profile instead of landscape it's like burnt in i hate that when it has the logo for the tv brand still on it in the wrong direction buy a tv that doesn't have the brand in a certain direction if you're going to flip it around.

Hoyt Cinema. What? Be brave. Say their name. Let me tell you that Dark Horse video is not up for discussion. No one ever said it was. It's shit. Dark Horse is one of her,

is it not her highest performing song of all time? Yeah, maybe. I don't like it. No, it's not my favorite. And the video just, ugh. So she's in Egypt. She's got hieroglyphs airbrushed into her wig. She's Rowan.

And then she gives gifts to a pharaoh and it's Cheetos. I mean. There's a tiny dog. Not her most culturally sensitive moment. That's not her strong suit. And I, well, I mean, Katy does not. She's just learning about the world. She's, it's a.

Every day. She's on a journey. Yeah. I don't think her depiction of ancient Egypt and their lives is my issue with that video. I think it just feels very like it's the beginning of katie perry trying to meme things yeah and like the cheetos i don't know that's just something just very try hard yeah and also that video just makes me think of remember the time which is a far superior egypt themed music video that features iman which is incredible and eddie mur. Yeah. Okay. Anyway.

So it's not that. I want you to know before we go too deep into this conversation that there's actually only one legitimate answer to this question. Here we go. I know what you're going to say. You say. No, no, no. I'm not.

Oh, you're not going to say. We'll build to it. Oh, okay, great. I'll let you burn through whatever trickle of trash you're going to say. Okay. Well, I just want to eliminate. So Dark Horse, no. And also Raw,'re going to say. Okay. Well, I just want to eliminate. So, Dark Horse, no. And also Raw, no.

Ugly. Everything. That song's also bad. And as a Lady Gaga fan, I'll never forgive that for coming out at the same time as the which is a fucking banger of a music video. Lady Gaga's carrying that giant mannequin leg filled with flowers. Incredible. Are you kidding me? Imagine that's the beginning. I was carrying that giant mannequin leg filled with flowers. Incredible.

Are you kidding me? Imagine that's the beginning. She's in. Relax. That's your meeting with the thing. They're like, get me the biggest fucking mannequin leg you ever fucking seen. While Katy Perry's like, I don't know. Can we get a lion?

What a fucking. I need a mannequin leg. ones i love is um unconditionally um wide awake i'm wide awake wait no what that video i love that that video those of you it so she's going through a labyrinth no it picks up at the end of california girls she comes off the set and goes into her makeup room and she's like it wasn't actually that perfect and she's in her california girls outfit oh and then the mirror she goes through the mirror and she's suddenly in a labyrinth oh in a cloak but you know what also sometimes she's a child and sometimes no she's walking with her child oh that's right child self but then in the mirror, it's just Katie on her own. Holding no one's hand.

And then the thing that pisses me off about that music video, aside from her cloak, which is disgusting. I love a cloak. Kate cloak. Just foul. But the. Center part, purple, dark purple hair, Katie. At one point she picks a strawberry.

Oh, is it dark? She picks a strawberry in a way that no strawberry has ever grown. It's such a prop. It's like- There's like a small brown stick extended out in front of her and then a single strawberry. And listen, I can suspend my disbelief but why should we like couldn't it have been a luxe little vine anyway i just can't watch a grown woman in a

purple cloak pick a single strawberry off like a stick i can i'll watch it every day yeah i was in the know So it's not getting in. Falling from cloud nine. And then the other one that I fucking love is Part of Me. It's so hilarious. Oh my God, where she joins the army. Yeah. She gets a pixie cut and she joins the army. So she's having a fight with her boyfriend.

She runs into a gas station bathroom. That was like definitely paid for by the US military. Absolutely no doubt. She was like, I'm having a bad time in love. And so what am I going to do? Join the army. I don't need a man. And then does she do the parachute activity?

Like where they're all like throwing, like they have a big parachute. She does like the like. She's doing the like army training. Going through the trenches. Yeah. Like us trying does the army training. She's doing the army training. Going through the trenches. Like us trying to explain army things. I learned about the US Army today from the Katy Perry music video. Do you know that's a real thing? Yeah.

People actually do that. You don't actually have to shave your head. You can get a piece of cut. That's also allowed. Yeah. You can come in, Catherine. Yeah. But where they throw up the parachute and everyone runs under.

Anyway, she does end up definitely in front of a billowing American flag there. It's amazing. That might be a contender, actually. It's so good. It's so funny. And I fucking love that song. I don't particularly care for, like, the other ones that are also things you probably want us to talk about.

This is a part of me that to talk about like so good like the the house party one yeah whatever that was like peak like she was casting someone from glee she put rebecca black in there that like i just that saxophone person oh yeah like then what about that that carnival one for Shma? Also, just because Rebecca Black got bullied that one time doesn't mean we all have to acknowledge her presence every year. It sounds like you're bullying her now. Let her fade into obscurity. She's not good enough to, like, warrant you guys talking about her this much. It's just such, like, remember this?

And you're like, yes, it's fine. Yeah. Let her be nothing. Like, it's just such like remember this and you're like yes it's fine yeah let her be nothing like it's fine she's not a thing and like she will sit down for every one of those interviews about how she's not 13 anymore and like congratulations we understand how aging works now can we never talk to you again like we get it you have a different haircut and makeup style yeah but you were still like unbearable anything else to say about rebecca black i just wanted to cut the conversation off now about rebecca black she's never coming up again and i am aware that like drag queens that become even semi-famous are automatically put at the exact same celebrity level as Rebecca Black.

So there's a good chance maybe, if this audition goes well, that I have to eat my words when we have Rebecca Black on this show. Yeah. At which point, if any motherfuckers send this to her, I'll kill you. Yeah. Okay. motherfucker send this to her i'll kill you yeah okay but yeah i i my my my heart of heart says wide awake i'm wide awake okay well so that's wrong it's so good but go on okay two contended well one is the actual thing, but the one that I have a really depressing story about is Firework. So when Firework came out, and I'm not like a Katy Perry stan or anything.

I watched the video and I must have been like 16. I bawled my eyes out. Oh my God. bawled my eyes out oh my god i like he sobbed when that fat girl that felt insecure about her body jumps into the pool and doesn't care oh my god incredible and then fireworks like come out of her chest that she has like the confidence now and like no one like and then when the little boy whose parents are fighting and the dad is abusing the mom like fireworks start coming out of his oh my god i'm getting like tingles right now i'm just thinking about oh my god it's so emotional goes and like pushes the dad away yeah and then katie perry's like on the top of the building and then she's like

fireworks are coming out of her yeah oh my god anyway so i watched that i'm sobbing yeah and then i'm like nina the aforementioned nina i'm like nina you've got to watch this and once again nina didn't have a television in her home growing up she has no context for like pop anything like literally her like they just listened to the pogues and like bob dylan and that was it that was like you know what i mean like yeah so when i was like we need to watch katie perry's music video she's like okay whatever like let's give it a shot we watched it buckets we're like holding each other weeping oh my god i'm like oh what a good time yeah um and i don't know why but fuck that's a good music video yeah it's incredible like it is an amazing song and when

fireworks come out of everyone and people always make fun of it like you know the line of like like plastic black yeah in the wind yeah but. But like, it's sticky as shit. Like that stays in your head. Yes. More than any of the other innocuous bullshit. And like, yeah, whatever. But like. Yeah.

Yeah. Incredible. It's great. Yeah. It's very good. Like, I think if I saw her perform that song, like live, I might sob. Like heave sob. I like will cry to that song sometimes good okay we're

on the same page yes absolutely i'm just like i don't know why it just hits in a like and i think the thing about katie perry is that it's so goofy but she's so sincere yeah it doesn't feel premeditated or like like cynical in the way that like she's like well this will make those motherfuckers cry and then i'll get my grammy it's like no she she's gospel girly she like is dumb enough to believe that we're all just fireworks and like that three minutes and 45 seconds i'm like i am dumb like you katie and i believe that we're all plastic bags yeah like truly that's her magic that is she is like if you can get on her like wavelength and feel like if she can like dumb you down for a second yes if you allow yourself to be

numbed by her yeah you can experience amazing things you can enjoy like life as like a dumb rich woman yeah and that is the magic like you're like wow what the um like part of me documentary is incredible if you even if you yeah don't like katie perry you should watch that documentary because yeah when russell brand breaks up with her halfway through. Oh. And she's just like. Going. Turn the lights off. Yeah. Sobbing in the makeup room backstage for her arena tour.

Yeah. Having to smile for tweens with her like, yeah, big Candyland set. And then they like take her over to the elevator that's going to push her up into the middle of this giant stadium. And her eyes are puffy. And she's been sobbing for days because that awful man broke up with her via text message. Yeah. And then they start the motors on her spinning candy cane tears and give her one last moment. And then they're slowly like and then you can hear the

like thousands of people screaming yeah for like the vision of her yeah instead of the real human being and she's like and like a switch flips and she just smiles and then slowly goes up into the stage. It's incredible. It is just like electrifying. And like no one has reached that with their stupid documentaries about pop stars. Like only that and Truth or Dare in Bed with Madonna are like worth your time. It's amazing.

But anyway, all of this to say, Waking Up in Vegas is a perfect music video. It has like eight to ten costume changes. It actually could be her application for Drag Race. Yes. Because it's got talent. It's got personality. It's got everything.

Yeah. It's got her snatch game. But like it's got the magicians, Penn and Teller. It's got like, I mean, like it's got everything. And it feels like it's at the perfect time in her career where she has enough budget to do whatever she wants, which in Katy Perry's case is just like wear lots of outfits and be a silly binti. But like before you're trying to do a reinvention that's less harmonized with your actual vibe. Yes. a reinvention that's less harmonized with your actual vibe yes she hadn't yet fallen into like the when you think of katie perry you think of like this kind of kooky costume yeah that wasn't

her yet no it's a bit more free she was having fun in the streets of las vegas and that the arc of the video is that like you know it starts off with her and her lover they're bum out of luck they have one quarter left to play in a small slot machine uh in you know old town las vegas yeah they play it and they win some money and then they like on this big rise and they win all this money and they get all the excesses that come with that and then they lose it all again and then they end up right back where they started but they still have each other it They just go at each other. It's beautiful. Perfect.

I also love thinking about casting boyfriend for music video. That's such a genre of music video. And you can really tell a lot about what's happening inside. You know who doesn't cast boyfriends for themselves? Troye Sivan. No no why does he cuss like hotties yes but he'll never cast a boyfriend yeah which is very like you know how when share was having her 90s resurgence like do you believe she would never be allowed to be like the like of sexual desire. So they would like cast a young couple to be having the storyline while she like watched as like a love angel from the side.

Yes. In a tinsel wig. Yes. And I was like, just let her be sexy on her own. Like Kylie, I feel like she doesn't cast a love interest for herself either. But she's more about like you're banging me. Not like you two are banging and I'm singing about it. I'm just happy for you guys.

Yeah, I'm old, but you have fun. No, see, yeah, I love the boyfriend cast. I love thinking about what their real world partner thinks. I love thinking about why don't they cast the real person. That would make it hard when you break up. But who would you break up but who would you wait who's your favorite all-time boyfriend in a music video oh and is it alexander skarsgård in paparazzi true that's pretty good there's a um sion s-s-i-o-n song we're gonna go somewhere weird with this but um queer american singer whatever like has a

few amazing amazing albums do recommend and in those music videos he gets this particular actor slash model to sometimes play him and sometimes play the boyfriend but he also populates all of his music videos with his friends and it's's just like, it's so good. And yeah, this particular model, I can't remember his name, but yeah, that's the one. We'll do a video for it. Oh my God. Do you know what?

I forgot one thing. Yeah. Katy Perry in old age makeup in the one that got away. Oh, that's so good. Oh, that's so good. Oh, true. You track a whole love story with Katy Perry and some indie boy falling in love, giving each other tattoos, taking Polaroids on the bed. And then it like cuts between that storyline and her as an old woman in like the future. Because it's Katy Perry.

It's not just like high school. It's not like she high school when we first met it's not like she's like in the future like she's not like no we'll just do like a modern home and not like not she's like no we're in the future and she's dressed all futuristic walking around with her elderly husband and she's in like old age makeup like she looks fucked she looks it's crazy and then you see the like story like you know that they fall out of love and then he's driving away from her and then at the very end you see katie old katie go out to this like like canyon like highway and then her um you see like the flashback and this is where the boyfriend drove off the cliff and died.

And then Katie as the old woman is like staring out. So good. And the song ends and then you can just hear the soft sound of Johnny Cash on the radio. And it is like heartbreaking. It's so good. She truly. Oh. Oh.

I might have cried in that too. Yeah. I'm going to cry right now. That old age maker. The fact that she performed through the old age maker made you feel so good. You know that it's not comfortable, darling? No. Johnny Depp got a lot of praise back in the

day yeah for being able to act through all that bullshit and so did robin williams and jim carrey but where was katie yeah she could do she could do anything jim carrey has ever done i would love more katie acting if she was in the grinch who stole christmas like, she could do it. She could. She would eat it up. And probably Eternal Sunshine as well. Oh, true. Oh, she looks great with different colored hair. Watch out, Kate. No, she's the Jim Carrey role.

Wait, Jim Carrey's in Eternal Sunshine? Darling, I can't do this with you. It's Elijah Wood. He's one of the dream erasers. But whose dreams are they trying to erase? Jim Carrey. What? He was in love with Kate Winslet.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yes. That is Elijah Wood. No, it is not. Elijah Wood is in the film. What? Jim Carrey is the protagonist of the film. I'm hearing Elijah Wood.

I don't know what to tell you, darling. So it's Mark Ruffalo, Elijah wouldn't curse and mark ruffalo they run the the operation where you can delete your memories yeah and so jim carrey and kate winslet with a love is at the center of the story elijah wood just has one scene where he's got like googly eyeglasses on yeah they're getting drunk around the body of Jim Carrey Who's having his brain erased It is Jim Carrey Well I think you mean Katy Perry

Well, you know, my takeaway I do love that movie But perhaps I should re-watch it Because to me it was Kate Winslet and Elijah Wood on the front cover of that DVD. Anyway, I want to say how much I hate the version of E.T. that has Kanye West. And sadly, the music video is the Kanye West version.

It's kind of like floating. You're so hypnotizing. Love me with your poison. Great song on the album, but the fucking music video version has Kanye. I got a dirty mind. But she has a great love interest. It's like half deer. That's great.

So what's going into the bunker toilet? Why? I'm so pleased to tell you that is, of course, the promo video slash music clip to Every Day is a Holiday, which is, of course, Katy Perry's music video slash song that she did for H&M in maybe 2015 where she's happy and merry. She's, you know, we celebrate all holidays here that's why it's not you know every day is a holiday however it is incredibly uh christmas themed she's dancing

she's a pixie she's wearing h&m's latest collection and every day is a holiday when you're the reason to celebrate dear listener From all of us to all of you. Happy and Merry Christmas and Merry Holidays. You didn't even take the message of the video. Yeah, whatever. Okay, so Zelda, we'll have a conversation when December rolls around about the merits of the song, the track. Every day is a holiday, which you cannot find on Spotify.

No. So don't look, but you can find on Spotify. No. So don't look. But you can find it on YouTube. She did. Cozy Little Christmas has a great music video. But anyway, go on. But the video is not of a level that is the same as what we've just discovered. I must admit, I'm reaching.

It's more of an ad for H&M than it is a music video. I will give you that. But it is good. I'm not going to shit to that in the bunker. Okay, yeah, I'm back. Do you know what I mean? I do. You know what I mean?

I'm not going to have my 12 o'clock. I'm thinking of that rich woman in her, like, very bougie bathroom with every day is a holiday. A Turok mansion. Yeah. No. In the bunker, people are going to spend a long time crying in bathrooms. Yeah.

Kind of contemplating suicide in these bathrooms. Well. We need to make sure the video is up to par. Yeah. And I think in my mind it's the bathroom from The Shining. Oh, that's. Like extremely stylized and beautiful. Yeah.

It has to be. And like low ceiling. Yeah. Obviously it's a fucking bunker. An LED screen inside every cubicle. No, I just want it in the room. Like when you're washing your hands. Just the like echoing sound of the Katy Perry music video.

The echoing. That's what we need. Yeah, okay, I'm on. And it needs to be a CRT style, like old tube television. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, okay, no LEDs. Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. So is it?

Oh, also I just need to say that the Space Jam fucking, that one's not in. Oh, swish, swish. Swish, swish. The fucking, the other one where she's having a big dinner party, that one's not in. Oh, Swish Swish. Swish Swish, the fucking, that, the other one where she's having a big dinner party, that one's not it. There's so many that aren't that good. Katie's done so many things.

Yeah, okay. So, to me, it is, it's waking up in Vegas. Yeah. Look, I have, I'm confident that I have more opportunities in my future, yes, to get the things of Katie that I want in. So I'm happy to give you this. But I do think that you have been quite critical of Wide Awake's music video and that's quite hurtful because I've cried to that song and that music video as well.

I have fallen from cloud nine. Okay. Well, I think when the time comes and we need to form a militia that's going to go out into the wastelands of the Savoy, we will probably need the song Part of Me to get people to join the military. True. So we can, you know, when the time time comes bust it out yeah the training video yeah yeah yeah like this is what we need you to do yeah everyone well i mean we already have a wig in the bunker but like hairstyle well i also i like the idea that that in there is no war yet in the bunker no like people don't have a continent like the generations to come will not

have a concept of war. No. But then they'll see that and they'll, the only understanding that they will have of like how like modern warfare existed was from that Katy Perry music video. Yeah. The only conflict in the bunker is some people being unsure if that diva over there is the real Avril Lavigne or the fake one. That's the only conflict that's in there. So confirmed it is waking up in Vegas. Yeah, okay. Okay, we'll be right back after this break.

Bye-bye. Why didn't you ask me about that? Oh, no. Okay, wait, wait, rewind. Hey. I haven't seen any of this. Wait, you haven't? No, I haven't watched any.

We'll have to watch some together. Wait, based on the descriptions, what took your fancy? No, I think the training video for the military sounds funny. Oh, I see. She wants part of me. But I've watched all of Lady Gaga's videos. That's my favorite music videos to watch. Matt, who's your diva?

My diva? Yeah. As in what? Like, who's your pop diva? What do you mean? Oh. You're talking crazy right now. What do you mean?

Hit him. Probably Lady Gaga. Okay, good. Matt's been really, like, lazy Susan. Yeah. good. Matt's been really like lazy Susan. Yeah. Yeah. Coded. Yeah, well, because you've brainwashed me over the years working together.

True, true. This is like more of a sickness, yeah. Yeah, I just say anything for your approval now. Excellent, excellent. It's good work. I thought she'd beat me again. Okay. Okay, well, now we'll take a break. Thanks, Matt, for chiming in to give us nothing wow yeah

okay bye hello welcome back everyone how How are you doing? Still good. I presume good. Excellent. We're doing just fine. Wait. Whatever you're thinking about doing, stop.

Take time for you. Stop being worried about other people and their needs. You don't need to worry about them, darling. Let them scream it out. Can I tell you something? I cannot stand this concept of, like, deserve. I deserve time. You deserve it.

You deserve. Are you telling me all the drink bottles are wrong? I fucking hate it. What? Like, even, like, on a baseline humanitarian level, sorry, but it's like, why do you deserve anything? You have to earn it to deserve it. You don't deserve to be treated nicely by other people. No, you don't deserve that.

Send the moon. Like, it's nice, but, like, do you deserve it? I deserve it. I deserve kindness. No, you just exist. I do exist. You haven deserve it? I deserve it. I deserve kindness. No, you just exist. I do exist. You haven't done anything to deserve it. But earning things, I don't believe in earning things.

Yes. Earning things suggests that it's just as much of a fallacy as deserving things. No, okay, well, but like, you know, you just- How about things randomly happen until you die? Yeah. Okay. That I like. Put that on a fucking typo bottle.

Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm like earning is like. You just are here and things will happen around you. You don't fucking deserve it. But we live in a society. We live in a society. Wow.

I can't believe Jennifer Garner didn't talk about this when she was on. I can't believe you just said that. My sister for so long, if you asked her what her favorite film was, would be like Joker. And I'm like, you still haven't seen it. And she's like, we live in a society.

And I'm like, you've only watched the trailer. And she's like, yeah, I love Joker. We live in a society. And I was like, you need to think of like one more quote. And she's like, no, I don't.

But also like, that's a fucking Seinfeld quote. True. Like, why didn't everyone talk about that? Maybe they did, but you know what? Maybe you. I think the overlap of guys that love Joker is pretty, like, thoroughly overlapping with the guys that love Seinfeld. Yeah, that's very true.

They feel like they're, yeah, the same person. And they're, but, I mean, that's what I mean. They're the kind of person who's, like, would comment on, like, the Instagram trailer for Joker 2 and be like. It's a musical? No. No, they would be like, yeah, we fucking deserve a sequel of this quality.

It's like, no, you don't deserve it. It just will exist. And you can engage with it or not. You don't fucking deserve it. No one does. Gosh,

I don't know. I, I deserve a lot of things. No, you don't. I deserve them. Oh, I'm mad. You of all people. I deserve a lot of things. No, you don't. I deserve them. Oh. I'm mad.

You of all people. I deserve heaps. But that's the thing. We live in a society. Oh, my God. But like of the things. We live in a society. Yeah.

Like we live in. So it's like, you know, we make up the rules. They can be whatever we want. We as a collective have made up the rules that we deserve things. I don't think you do. Like water, shelter. Oh, well. You don't think we deserve that?

No, I'm saying I don't. And you can't extend that generosity to a nice little smoothie and a nice latte and a bit of me time. No, that is where I say it. That's where you draw the line yes so wait you're saying i deserve the right to water i don't know if i believe that just because you're a human being who is like capable of independent thought yeah doesn't mean that you deserve water i think we are all like i think of a collective that but like fundamentally like i

think as part of a society yes like i want to provide you and everyone then in what void are you do you deserve it like why do you just because you exist yeah i think as soon as existing is not enough as soon as you are born many things exist you join like, big family. You're part of the club. Where was that big family when I got robbed, you know? Well, I don't think that's the same as, like, a child not having access to clean drinking water. No, but, like, I want that child to have that. But you don't think they deserve it.

You're like, what have they done lately? Like, you know what I mean? I wish I did. I think, just just to be clear if you are listening to this and you don't have food or shots i think you deserve it can i when i began this i was thinking of it more of the lens of the dude bros deserving a good joker too not do all children deserve water yeah but we have ended up there. I mean, I'll always take it there. That's how much I believe it.

Well, you know what? While we're talking about children, that's a perfect segue into our next topic. Wait, what? Which is which playground equipment goes into the bunker, you fucking psycho. And perhaps I will change my answer and say it's the water bubbler. Oh, that's kind.

But I don't like that. Oh, no, I like that. Because you put a stick in it and then you squirt someone's eye. Well. That's good. It's hard that Jared Lansdale from primary school pissed on the bubbler. Pissed on it. Wow.

Yeah. And then it washed offed on it. Wow. Yeah. And then it washed off, I guess. I guess so. So. Now that you say it, but I didn't drink out of it for three years. And did you tap him on the shoulder and you say, I deserve clean drinking water. Thank you.

I deserve that. I like a slide sometimes. Okay. Here's the thing about slides. Okay. Why? None of them slides. Okay. Why? Why none of them slide, baby? What?

Like you, have you seen a slide in the last 25 years? Oh. They don't move. You're like sticking to it. Yeah. It's not. Did I change or did they? Yeah.

I think water slide. I've never been on a water slide. I've never been on a water slide. You've never been on a water slide? No. A water park? I don't want to take my top off. You can wear a rashie. I would now.

No, no, no, no. I used to, but now I would. I mean, I think there's plenty of reasons to leave a shirt on at a water park. Well, I also get really sunburned. Like I got sunburned today. You need to cover up. Like the world needs to cover up because skin cancer is a major problem in this country this is true i just don't like it's not worth it unless we're having waterpark

at night which sounds fantastic oh yeah i like that but i i'd like to drown quietly at a water park at night that sounds like a good way to go i kind of see that i didn't see them in the corner there and then when we came in the next day cheryl found him yeah see the thing that i hate now as an adult is being around other people in like a shared environment where they're gonna have their tops off and it's like wet and likeching. Oh, we're talking about pools still, not sex bodies. Well, that too. I mean, I just, no. I just think at a certain point it's like I have a choice to not be here

and why would I be here? Yeah. And it's really hard to, like, I don't know, water park theme parks are not a vibe. Well, I've never been, but I'm scared. However, yes, water slide, that would slip you down. Also old school slides where they were like made out of metal. Also slides get so hot in the sun.

Wood doesn't heat up in the sun like plastic does. I just think playgrounds, contemporary playgrounds suck. Yeah. Like since we got rid of tan bark and started using that recycled tire tread bullshit that is so foul if you're not getting splinters you're not living i'm like what are you going to learn from the playground if you haven't injured yourself i don't want to touch it under your palm yeah but also it's like that's that shit gets really hot and doesn't feel soft enough to not break your arm yeah anyway and Anyway. And it's ugly.

So number one, the thing that isn't getting in, that spiral pipe that goes up to the little castle mezzanine, you know the one that I'm talking about? Kind of. She's just like poked into the tan bar and then she spirals her way up to the second floor mezzanine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What am I meant to do with her? Like it's not a ladder.

You're not a ladder. No. Am I meant to do with her? Mm-hmm. Like, it's not a ladder. Yeah. You're not a ladder. No. Am I meant to get inside and climb up through, at which point, like, why? Then you're up there. Or am I meant to slide my ass down the spiral? Oh. Like, figure your shit out.

Okay. Because you're not a ladder. Yeah. You're not a rope against a slightly, like, slanted wall. Yeah. Which I can get behind behind because then you can pretend you're climbing up Rapunzel's hair. That's a vibe.

Or you're Indiana Jones. Go on. Well, speaking of, the rickety bridge. Like I want to stick my finger in there and have it forever destroyed. No, that's for stomping on. Going over the swamp hogs underneath. But it doesn't feel like... It doesn't feel rickety enough.

Well, depends on the bark you're going through, darling. They don't move enough, you know? Yeah. They're not giving me the drama, but you know who does? Yeah. Flying fox. I love flying fox. Flying fox is fun, except I'm very tall and my time with Flying Fox was short.

Have you never kicked your legs up, honey? Yeah, but I want to be free. I don't want to constrict my body. I want to hang. I want to be free. I want to hang like a swamp hog in a slaughterhouse being brought along to the killing board. I don't want to tuck my legs up. I'm meant to be in the air.

Not, you know, hiding under a table in an earthquake. Okay. What about this? The thing that goes from either very shit to extremely dangerous, that like, it's like a little wombat and you sit inside it and it's got a spring beneath it. Like, it's like at one point, it's like, that's the most judgmental fucking thing. Cause they're all like, I don't know if you've done this as an adult adult but there comes a time where you sit in that thing and it just is like wow you're like why won't it bounce forward it's like well that's a question you need to answer why is it a bouncing

back yeah that's more about you than about it yeah yeah um whereas seesaw that's just about whoever's on the other side true yeah also Yeah. Also quite. Also very judgmental, yeah. Because what if you need two players? I love a tunnel. Oh. Just like, just a pipe that you walk through. That's fun. See, tunnel to me is a bit scary.

Yeah. Like, what's on the other side? That's right. That's, again, children need to learn at some point. Don't go. Also, when you come out of- Children know better than anyone about going through a dark tunnel. They were just born, honey.

Children know. We forgot. Okay. We need tunnels. When I was growing up on the peninsula, the Mornington Peninsula, I was growing up on the peninsula, the Mornington Peninsula, there was a period where the Sorrento Park had its playground redone and it was like the park playground after that.

And it had three points through the park that had an intercom system that somehow worked without electricity. I don't know. I'm not an engineer. Oh, that's cool. I'm a child. And you would be at one point and you go. And then at the other two points, you could hear the tunnel sound echo of. It was so cool.

Very cool. And the other thing I don't like is that kind of. Is that like kind of spider chain on a slope that you like. You think you can stand. No, see, I like that. Because that felt very slope that you like, you think you can stand and walk. No, see, I like that because that felt very like Gladiator, Who Dares Wins. But also you could pretend you were caught in a spider's web. Come and get me.

No, because the chains, like those chains would pinch my skin. They do. Yeah. Well, do you know what they had in my like childhood playground growing up i don't know uh you know just a nice set of stairs and like tell me like it was a grand double staircase up into a castle and if that's not aspirational i don't know but it's like i feel like kids without imagination they need a swirly pole to to just like somehow like give them something i can make a meal out of walking up and down a set of staircase and that served me in my career yeah

nothing else is good i'm not walking across wobbly bridges every day but i am like sauntering down a staircase this is true so i don't know yeah good value yeah true true um okay so now i i i don't want mcdonald's playground oh see i like some of that shit i like i like the looky looky loo hole that little that like bubble why are we not doing that on houses? True. Yeah. I would happily have some looky-loo holes. Have a little porthole. Yeah.

But not, like, one, like, a chic little thing, like a playground style. Like, with your face, like, There's someone coming with the driveway. The push-man's here. Hello. Why not? Yeah, true. Yeah.

Or you could have one that's's like, yeah, second floor. You like sit in it. I love a skylight and it's kind of like that, but more interactive. You know, I don't like a skylight. You don't? No, you don't. I know that. I think it's eerie.

Like there's something gross. It's like, number one, like, am I underground? And like a window that you can't gaze out of? No, you can look up. Don't look up. Darling, my neck doesn't. But I just live in the fantasy that one day a goat leg is going to land on that fucking skylight. A goat leg?

Yeah, like Jurassic Park. Yeah, immediately we're through to that. What? What? Because the car has a glass roof oh the second one yeah yeah sorry god but here's the thing most of them are frosted glass they're not clear yeah and that's a mistake i want big clear i want to live outside i want a tree house well darling you came very close thank god God you found that house. Yeah, true.

But the modern art museum in Mexico City had giant dome McDonald's style skylight over the entire cylindrical building. But the whole thing was covered in like algae and like lichen and it was no it's beautiful because it was yellow diffuse light like popping through and it was it looked like the moon it was so beautiful and if i ever have to bear through a skylight i will get some lichen up there and get it colored. Yeah, okay. Anyway. Okay. But also Matt has a child. Yeah.

But not yet old enough to play on play equipment, I suppose. No, no. She, yeah, she would just bounce off that. Yeah, we could put her on that springy thing. Does she have a set of those like wooden fruit that are cut in half and they hold together with Velcro? Oh, no, we don't have any of them yet, but we're planning on buying some soon. Good, good. I love that.

I think that is such a good toy. So what do you hope for for your child? In playground equipment? Yeah. Yeah, I agree. The flying fox is good. Yeah. It's really fun.

Get that baby up there. Flying through the air is obviously just. You really can't beat it flying fox is good. Yeah. It's really fun. Get that baby up there. Flying through the air is obviously just. You really can't beat it. You can't. Yeah. It's the closest that we can come to having wings, I guess. Yeah, being free. I used to like going on the really big ones that went down like a hill or something.

Well, yeah. This is like. Beach side ones. Yeah, like school camp vibes. One of my, yeah, one of my friends growing up in his backyard had a flying fox that I could extend my legs on. Thank you. And it was so fun.

I remember the like scumbag neighbours of my friend Samantha would like sit and smoke inside of a playground that they'd – a school must have been getting rid of it because the wood was tainted with lead or something and they took it and set it up in their mud front yard yeah and like oh god those kids were scary but they were so cool we used to play down by the train tracks wow yeah we were young too like 10 or 11 they were yeah that was good um what Are you worried she'll break anything, Matt? Yeah.

Have you ever broken anything? Whenever I see kids, like, running around and, like, they're, like, almost, like, they're running so fast they're almost, like, tripping over their own feet. It gives me so much anxiety. Like, I reckon I'm going to be one of those dads that just, like, run around after their kid everywhere. I think it's good.

I think it's good for them to fall over and learn how to balance and everything. But I'm just going to have anxiety watching it and stuff, I think. But I never broke any arms or legs or any bones at all. I was like very careful on my play equipment for some reason. Even though at Steiner School where I went to, like the playground was like an OH&S nightmare. It was just like rusty metal things sticking out everywhere and giant wooden things, rocks at the bottom of the slide.

Yeah, like fully like fucked up playgrounds. Like I just, I do, there's like so few of them left that I'm like, I just don't think kids are going to know about like a playground that's like, I will fuck you up. Yeah. I will eat you. Yeah. Yeah.

My favorite playgrounds were definitely the ones that were like, like they were these giant wooden ones. There's certain ones around Melbourne. Like I don't know where they are now or if they're still around, but my parents used to take me to some and it would be like in this random suburb, like really far away. And we'd drive like half an hour to get there, but it was like a giant wooden castle, like just big planks.

And like there were all these secret passageways and tunnels and stuff. But that's not really one playground equipment thing. No, but like things where it's like. Like giant castle in there. I think a giant castle is so cool. Although, you know, obviously reinforces thoughts of the monarchy. But I guess maybe. Yeah.

But the thing of like, yeah, kids being obscured from their parents is like too much of a liability and no one's gonna take that risk anymore it's just not the atmosphere for raising children nowadays which is unfortunate because kids do need to just like have their own private lives true and you can't be there for everything yeah okay can we just agree that the flying fox is going in? The flying fox. And as an added little dash of spice, the flying fox goes over the oceanarium. Don't let go, darling. Okay.

Yeah. So three, two, one. Flying fox. What? What? Okay. What did you think we were going to say? I don't know.

Oceanarium. Okay. Three, two, one. Flying fox. One more time. I don't want to do that. Wait. Three, two, one.

Flying fox. See, you liked it. Yeah, maybe. Oh. Great. Flying fox? Oof. But the platform's made of wood.

Yeah. Yeah. The whole thing's made of wood. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the thing's made of wood. Yeah, yeah. Fun. And it's high enough that you can, a six foot three person could stretch their legs.

It may skim the top of the oceanarium, which may invite some unwelcome company. But, you know, what's life without a bit of a thrill? Okay, yeah, good. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. It's time for our final category.

What is going into the bunker? Oh, okay. Okay. We are going to discuss. Yeah. I don't remember. 7-Eleven. Oh, 7-Eleven. Now, unfortunately, we already have our shop, the Reject shop.

And a Wendy's. A small Wendy's nearby. Yeah. In the bunker. Yeah. But we are allowing one item from 7-Eleven into the bunker. Yep. Now, there's a large scope here.

And I think, can I just clarify, that we're not just talking about like the home brand 7-Eleven offerings. No, whatever. Anything in the 7-Eleven, you can get. You can make it a big 7-Eleven. That is your choice. You can have what you like. And I suppose we're taking it through the lens of Australian 7-Eleven. Yeah, unfortunately, we don't have the access to the grandeur of japanese 7-eleven no it's just so good okay so in the

australian 7-eleven which is a haven i love i love 7-eleven i just i don't have a lot of brand loyalty there's a few brands like that i just love they just feel like home yeah and when your bare ass feet flop down on that linoleum what like we need to get you more shoes i don't deserve shoes true but you know like i to the extent that like i will feel like a bit upset in a weird way when they don't open the door for me late at night oh yeah yeah i'm like i thought we were friends yeah there's that one near um brunswick street and when you go past after a certain time you have to go through a window and beg yeah like can you go and fetch me i'm like you're not open raspberry lemonade and a spinach and ricotta roll please like three hours ago we were besties hanging out inside with the doors like automatically opening up and now you're like

look at this mail slot you can talk to me through there and then tell me what you want they called you a mail slot but also i'm like i don't know what i want i want to peruse yeah i need to know like what i'm going to say give me a cherry cherry air freshener and an obscure reduced to sell like Magnum with white chocolate. And like, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Like just let me in.

What Pringle flavors do you have today? I don't, I can't see from here. And also it's like, if I'm going to the hot food area, you're not going to let me just take a barbecue sauce and two tomato sauces and maybe a mustard that I'll never open. Yeah. Let me tell you, they're going to give you the old flaky dry. Yeah, you're not going to pick.

You want to go to the back and get the one that's just recently come from the warming zone. And what if it is just the flaky dry pastry and they bring it to you and you're like, I haven't even had a chance to, I'm buying this sight unseen. Yeah. Like it's like, and that's when I don't, that's when I'm offside. But I went very late to the Clifton Hills 7-Eleven recently. It was like maybe 1.30 in the morning.

Yeah. Guess who left the doors open, baby? He let me in. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. It was great also like the 7-eleven color scheme and logo and the stripes very chic oh my god so good i'll never forget when the mobile at the bottom of my street growing up yeah changed into a 7-eleven wow and i was like guess who got

upgraded there was a 7-eleven at the bottom of your street? Yeah, Hughes Street in Upway. It was a vibe. Wow. Yeah. God, we didn't have, there's no 7-Eleven on the peninsula. It was like a- And it shows. Let me tell you, honey, it shows.

So for 18 years, 7-Eleven was like a very, like maybe two or three times a year treat when I would come up and my uncle would take me, not take me to 7-Eleven, but if I was visiting family who lived in civilization, we may go past 7-Eleven and get a Slurpee. That's where my, you know, I am obsessed with sugary drinks. It is my vice, dear listener. If you get me a Dr. Pepper, I'll love you forever.

Go on. And the Slurpee with the straw that doubles as a shovel to get that sweet ice down my throat. You little gullet. See, I love the concept. I've just grown out of being able to digest a big sugary lump, but I would love if they introduced a plain flavor slurpee what do you mean ice water i love ice water you do but like if it was like a big slurpee texture but with no flavor yeah just if they had to add a powder to

keep it from freezing as one block i'd be okay okay with it. But imagine plain flavor Slurpee. Yep. Okay. I'd be so into that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quite refreshing for sure. How much do you think they could charge for a plain flavor Slurpee? $2.

I'd pay $5. I'd fucking pay $10. Slurpee prices are amazingly low. I went to the 7-Eleven on Sydney Road near Barclay Square the other day. Also not a great one because it doesn't have petrol. I'm like, are you even a service station? What are we doing? It looks like it, but it's not.

Yeah. And I went to get an iced latte, which I love because I don't have to speak to anyone, which is my preferred method of getting through life. And, oh, so 7-Eleven iced latte. which I love because I don't have to speak to anyone which is my preferred method of getting through life. Yeah. And oh, so 7-Eleven iced latte. There's issues here because the ice melts into each other in the freezer. Into a lump. It's a lump.

And then when you've put it through the machine and it's been filled with liquid of choice, it's not hot enough because it's an iced latte. Yeah. It's only the coffee part that's hot and that's not hot for very long yeah and it doesn't melt up the blocks and then when you try to put your straw in it will not penetrate because the ice is one big ice cube and i know this because i have experienced it for many years. Yeah. And the other day. Oh, no. This was when the apartment was being auctioned

and I couldn't bear to be there. It's all this domicile. Yeah. So I went on a little walk and went to my favorite place. They're like, man, take off that veil. I'm mourning a loss today. My life. Anyway, so I was in there and I was like, not today.

Did you just say, my life? Yes. Okay, that's enough out of you. Okay. And I was like, not today. I'm going to crush the ice in the vessel ever so lightly to help my straw penetration. And there I was. And I was so smug and i was like i'm just gonna give it a little crush and then i'll be ready and as i did all the ice shot through the lid and the ice went all over the floor

and as that happened someone had come around the corridor and like he was just standing there and i shot all this fucking ice towards this stranger and it went all over the ground. He kind of – and I was like – and then I had to kind of like grab the ice and I was like, am I paying for – like is this my ice? So I put it all in the bin. I picked up all the ice. I didn't want it to melt or something to have a fall.

Kick it under a display, you freak. And then it would melt out. I guess you knew that person was watching you. I would have picked it up regardless. Okay. Me too. And then I got another one and I didn't do that. And it was the straw got bent and then it was all you've got to take the full lump out in your hand and snap off the individual pieces and that's the only way to

get it done they gotta sort it out i don't it's not getting sorted out it's that and then the fucking lid doesn't fit they have the frappe machine yeah they need to give up on that cardboard but the frappe machine is new and it's quite good. And if they do a coffee frappe, which they do, then you don't need the ice. Maybe I should try that. But also not all 7-Elevens have that new frappe machine. Not all 7-Elevens. They don't.

Okay. Okay. The other night. Okay. So, like, there's an answer that I have in my heart song. Oh, okay. Yeah, me too. But, like, the other night. Okay, so like there's an answer that I have in my heart song. Oh, okay. Yeah, me too. But like the other night, there's something that came very close to upheading me.

I'm not a massive fan of sugary beverages. No, you're not. But this hit me in a way that I've not been hit before. I went in at 1.30. Yeah. And they had the Krispy-flavored milkshake. Oh. And I was like, what is that?

I'm going to buy that. Yeah. $2. Wow. Great value. And even just great value because I don't know if you've seen this, listener, but the Frappe machine is not like a pre-mix thing. You're watching a robot make your beverage.

We are living in the future. Yeah. Katy Perry. Yeah. Yeah, the one that got away. Yeah. And so there should be a scene in The One That Got Away where Katy Perry goes and gets a frappe at 7-Eleven.

She's got the old makeup on. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Anyway, so you put your cup in, select the beverage of your choosing. And then it like squirts a little bit of syrup and then sprays a shit ton of ice. And then like puts a little, I don't know, other liquid. And then it moves it across to the next bay. Which, yeah, maybe this is a bit long for the Katy Perry music video, but they could edit it down.

And then they put in the blade that spins at such a velocity that it crushes all the ice into fine particles. It's incredible. That's like, yeah, it's akin to a milkshake. It's got a thick shake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's ice. It's fantastic. It's got a thick shake, but it's ice. It's fantastic.

It's so good. And the flavor of this beverage, which the lid fit perfectly, by the way. Yeah, they sorted it out. The straw is like paper, but it's thick. Robust. It's robust, and the aperture of the straw is wide enough to allow for any of the icy particles to pass through at a rate that you'd be happy with. Although I did get a brain freeze and I was not happy about that.

Oh my God. That was on the second day after I put it in the freezer and taken it out again. Well, that might be you, not 7-Eleven. Well, yeah, I think the frappe machine is kind of a little lower of the temperature. Anyway, this flavor, the Krispy Kreme Original crispy cream original glaze inspired milkshake is delicious it's everything that i'd want from a vanilla milkshake but vanilla is a little bit meh like a little bit tried and tested like i know i've been to bay's water rollerama i get it but this has that little bit of something which is the the original glaze. It's got like that bready, burnt vanilla flavor.

And it is just a delight. Wow. It's a real treat. I've got to try this. It's actually incredible. We might get one on the way home. I think we should. They're really good.

And then I'm like, I'd pay $2 just to watch this robot do this thing. I've only had one of those frappes once. I'm watching that robot do this thing yeah i've only had one of those frappes once and watching that robot do its thing it's impressive like they will take over that's the that's the theater yeah and then you get it and it's two dollars and it's like a reasonable size it's not too big i hate when the beverage is too big yeah but it's like it's a good size grow up you can get through it in two days like this is a good size and the straw didn't even die in the in the freezer see that's good so i took it from the freezer put in the fridge allowed it to defrost for six hours and then it came back to its original came back to its original texture and i finished sipping it up

the next day it was delicious wow and it was just it was it was a perfect beverage because the other thing about it is because it's ice as the base and not dairy you're just like sipping it up and it doesn't feel too heavy yeah milk i love like i would never drink milk we've talked about this this. I don't want to drink milk. I don't want to drink milk. I talk about it all the time. Milk, ugh. But milkshake? Oh, sign me up. How about ice?

The best. Yeah, ice is fine too. In a fine puree. Like I love a Big M, like a thick shake. Well, I mean strawberry thick shake. It's in the bunker. Big M is off my list. You know in other states they don't call it Big M? Yeah, I knew this. It doesn't. It makes me the bunker. What's happening? Big M is off my list. You know, in other states, they don't call it Big M.

Yeah, I knew this. It doesn't. It makes me feel sick. What do they call it? I don't want to know. But they used to have the smaller box. Yes. And they got rid of it.

And that's when they lost you. That's why Nippy's is for you. Because the Big M, you can't reseal it. No. I don't want the fucking Nippy's. I don't want a little juice box i like the the cube yeah you like a carton you like packaging i say that endearing i don't know why it sounded like that i like the cube with the spout but once

the spout has been open it's not closing. So what do you want me to drink? Half a liter of milk in one sitting? You're sick. You're unwell. Live. What about the little peel back and then you poke the straw in on the side? Because I was always a peel back straw on the side and my brother was a pouring spout. It's because you're a big old fucking faggot.

Because then I can sip it at my leisure. I want to sip it at my leisure. What are you doing? Are you folding the straw and putting both ends into the hole to keep it sealed? No. How are you keeping it sealed? I would still drink it across maybe half an hour. An hour?

Without refrigeration? Oh, it's fine. I'm vegetarian. It's fine. Food poisoning? No. Okay. I love, I would never from anywhere else buy this, but from a 7-Eleven, I love a raspberry

lemonade, especially after a night out. Are you? It's so sweet. i love it but that's the only time or if i was at a pub or like a rsl oh oh i would get a i would get a raspberry yeah maybe if it's pre-mix so good i love that but that's the only two situations i'll get a raspberry lemonade Anyway, then a, what? Yeah. But yeah, my like midnight or like 3am walking home from the club is like raspberry lemonade and a spinach and ricotta roll. You just said it.

That's it. You just said it. I do love the veggie fake meat sausage roll. It has a place, but the spinach and ric the spinach ricotta roll well honey here's the thing on its worst day a spinny and ricotta roll is still edible yeah whereas on its worst day the fake meat dries out it's a fucking insult it's a it's a doorstop yeah but i like i like being able to just pick up and take as many of those little sauce sachets as you want yeah they trust you at 7-eleven yeah they sure some people are going to abuse the system me but but you know

they they never stop you no and they don't judge you doesn't charge you until you're at that time well i went to it i know i talked about this in the first episode, but I went to Taco and Tortas. I'm naming and shaming. Yeah. In Fitzroy. Yeah. Taco and Tortas. Uh-huh.

Big red sign right next to Vorderville. You didn't name and shame last time. I'm naming and shaming. Taco and Tortas. You are... We went there for a little tacos. Yeah. And shaming. Taco and tortas. You are. We went there for a little tacos. Yeah.

On the way to the airport, dropping curgeon off to fly away. And we were like, let's have one little taste, last little taste of Mexico. Let's go south of the border. Wow. For our final meal. Dude, Johnson Street, Collingwood. So, we went there yeah we got five no six tacos to share between the two of us that's already how much was it it was that would be 38 dollars in the hole that's insane 38 fucking dollars okay i like, do I half own this building now?

What are you doing? Yeah. And then we also got some chips, you know, as a side, because it's like tacos, they're small. We're going to need to fill up. And potatoes. Potatoes. Great at that.

That's, she knows her place. So add another fucking $9 to the bill. How about that? $9 bowl of chips. It's fine. It's actually a very generous serving. That's good. And it's well seasoned. It's got a lot,9 bowl of chips. It's fine. It's actually a very generous serving. That's good. And it's well seasoned.

It's got a whole bunch of shit. So it's not just like, I couldn't get these chippies at the RSL. These are taco and tortas spices. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Rolls out. And you know, we have a rapport with the waiter.

The vibe is coming on. He's a bit of like a space cadet vibe, but he's nice. I like that. Yeah. And we've had like chit chats and then the bowl comes out it's a little metal bowl it's a metal bowl no it's nice it's like oh the chef just you know it's like oh here we are like you know can i just very quick tangent i hated that phase of maybe it was like 2015 to 2020 of like you'd go and they'd serve you the chips in like the fake deep fryer. Like a bean inside the fryer.

No, that's the fucking, like you're not tricking me into thinking that that's the thing from the fucking fryer. Bring me the whole hop or I'm not taking it. I don't believe you. I want to see like hot oil dripping on the waitress's leg, giving her third degree birth. I have worked in a kitchen before.

I'm actually. I don't believe you. I'm sorry. I'm from the industry. So like, I would like it to be served in a fucking bowl. Yeah. Anyway. Maybe save your money on the fucking mini fry things.

Anyway, they sent in a bowl, which is like, okay, it's been tossed in the spices in the bowl. Anyway, whatever. We say to this man that we have a vague rapport with, oh, sorry, can we get a little bit of sauce or something? Like a bit of mayo. Come on, these are dry. Like you didn't bring out a sauce. And he obliges, brings out a very generous amount of sauce.

And I'm like, no, you've kind of gone overboard, but I appreciate the candor. I appreciate the vibe that you bring. He's like, oh, this is the vibe that you bring he's like oh this is the chipotle mayo i was like thank you i shouldn't have said thank you oh because why because when the fucking bill comes out four dollars oh baby if you're gonna charge me four dollars you say it at the time i'm not familiar with your whole menu you tell me at the time that's gonna be four dollars so would you like to continue with this purchase i if a waiter fucking deranged wait wait wait if i hate it when people call me like sir

don't do that sir or like he just wants to believe that you could own a house well take a closer look because it's pretty obvious that that is not my title. What would you prefer? Hey, pal. No, don't baby name me. Just, like, just you there. You? You? You want sauce? Here you go.

That's fine. Then walk away. Well, I just felt so betrayed. Yeah, $4? And I was like, yeah. Chips and sauce for $13. Yeah, exactly. $13. betrayed yeah four dollars like yeah chips and sauce for thirteen dollars yeah exactly but it's like yeah like it's like get your shit together because this should come with sauce it should just come with the sauce i shouldn't the sauce is ever have to ask you and do you know who doesn't

make this a fucking big deal that we have to do tacos and tortas is the fucking good people at 7-eleven yeah they would never fucking try this shit you can get anything you want as much of it yeah and they don't put on airs no they're not sending anything out like you invented chips no how dare you sir and that's why the spinach and ricotta roll is the number one. I just can't fathom. Like that man ruined my night. I should have been like teary at the airport waving my husband off as he went back to war. Instead, all I could think about was that like heap of like, and I thought even if that is $4 in the menu. Because I had seen like additional something.

Yeah. $4. And I was like, this can't be the additional something. But even if it was, I thought that we were friends. Like you could do a little sly. Like you've been fun. You also spent like $40 on fucking tacos. Which apparently is just the fucking base rate.

Yeah. This is just getting started. And this concept of sauce being additional or extra, it's like if I order a stir fry, it's just going to be like heated vegetables and then I have to beg for a sauce on the side and it will be like $5. No, it's part of the dish.

It's part of the experience of the fucking dish. Chips and dip. Yeah. It's like. Yeah. You deserve fucking dish. And dip. Yeah. It's like. Yeah. You deserve sauce as well. Well, what. Everyone deserves sauce.

No, that's actually not true. Like butter hasn't been specified as part of garlic bread. Do I have to ask for butter now? Yeah. You're just going to put a little bit of garlic on bread and like dry as a fucking bun? I haven't made garlic bread, but what are the green things? That's parsley. Is that parsley?

It's a parsley. Okay, parsley, not oregano? Oh, no. No, maybe. I don't know where upmarket places you go. We don't have the technology to find that out. That's parsley. I don't think anyone needs to know.

We're not meant to know. No. But I like that it breaks it up. It's quite nice. Well, it's practically a salad. I couldn't agree more. That's quite nice. Well, it's practically a salad.

I couldn't agree more. But, you know, I just, I'm like, just like your staging, like it's a con. Because it's like if it is incomplete by the time it arrives at the table and you're forcing, because not everyone's as forthright as I am. Tell me about it. For the people that are not confident enough, for the people that don't have the confidence in our society to ask for source, what are they doing? You've just ruined their night.

They'll suffer in silence. Yeah. I just can't believe it. What would you pick up from 7-Eleven at 1.30 in the morning? I have had a bit of an addiction with Pringles at the moment. I love Pringles. Just a big old can of Pringles. Once you pop, you can't stop.

Yeah. What flavor? I just eat just a plain flavor. Sometimes it's just like one of those weird guilty binges that you have. I just go in, buy it, and I just eat the whole thing in one go. Plain flavour. What's plain flavour? What do you mean?

Just like normal red one, the salt one. Oh, original. Original, yeah. Okay. That's what I meant. I'm like picturing the Bringle Plain. Okay. Yeah, that's good.

But that's, you know, like that's not like something that I share very often with people, so you should feel a bit of shame for it. It's kind of like something you just do, you know, one of those things, a guilty pleasure. I do know it, yeah. But I don't think it's as guilty to eat a whole thing of Pringles as it is to eat a whole bag of chips.

It's different. It feels different. Yeah. It's taller. But do you know the thing about it is the journey of eating a bag of chips because they're all different shapes and sizes it locks in your memory more whereas when they're all a uniform shape you're like well this could be chip number one or chip number 50 i don't i don't remember wake up sheeple it's like it's just a repeated experience yeah make an impression

on those around you yeah oh i think we're talking about different things i don't i just think that like the journey of eating a whole pack of chips it's like uh through a terrain that's constantly changing what about when you're a child perhaps on a playground um and you got the chip that was like baked over and it was like a lucky chip wish chip wish chip you had to eat in one folded one yeah yeah you had to swallow it without chewing in order to get your wish to come true or very similar perhaps exactly the same when you would um have fettuccine for dinner and two of the fettuccine pasta noodles were stuck together it was like a weird double fettuccine that never happened to me oh so the one dollar coffee is so good but it is the spinach and ricotta roll it's the spinach

um there i mean like listen if you're considering having a snack today and if you never had this before oh no actually we shouldn't tell people to get it because it's always out of stock yeah everyone back off that's our only option yeah Yeah, actually, I can't actually eat everything. Like, you can. You can have all the other meat pies and the pay-per-hour. Just leave the spinach and ricotta for us. Thank you. Nothing ticks me off more than when I get in there and there's nothing.

Nothing. Or they're in the heat tray and they're not ready. Yeah. It's so rude. Yeah. Is there a rush on them or and they're not ready. Yeah. It's so rude. Yeah. Is there a rush on them or are they just not thinking about us? I think that they sell less so there is just less in rotation. And then, yeah, it might be others like us that are eating them.

But I don't know. If you're going to be like, if you're going to eat meat and then be like, you know what, today I'm going to try this pina colada. You're taking that away from someone who doesn't have any other options. They deserve it. No, they don't! Yeah, okay. Spinach ricotta roll easily in a landslide.

Yeah. Except in Pringles Plain over here. We'll just ignore that. I would get a spinach and ricotta roll as well well don't do it because you're taking it away from someone else

who's that character yeah bring her in guest for next week I like spring onion Pringles oh

delicious I do like that you bought those and I ate all of them you did but you know what? That's quite all right. I was so hungry.

I couldn't eat a whole tube of those. I could. In one go. Oh, what, suddenly you're above? You're better than Zelda Moon? No, I'm just saying I'm impressed that you can do that. Thank you. Yes, it is.

Finally. It is quite impressive, isn't it? It's an achievement. Something to put on your resume for sure. Don't tempt me. I'll put that in my track race application. That will be my talent. Give me one minute.

Video you eating a whole cube of spring onion Pringles. Put it on your tongue and then you crush it with the roof of your mouth. Amazing. Okay, good. Just lock it in. I love it. What a fulfilling week. Well, you know what?

I'm on the playground. I'm eating my spinach and ricotta roll. I'm flying Fox. And then I just need to take a quick break in the bathroom. And what is happening in there? You gotta help me out. It's all a blur last night. Dressed like an elvish.

Why am I wearing your glass ring? I don't want to get struck for copyright. Because I know WME will scan. It's not even a person anymore. It will just scan and hear the similarities from what I'm singing to the Katy Perry. Can that machine also make me a slushie or what? No, it can't. Only the good people at 7-Ele not tacos and tortas which i will say

oh my god here we go the one thing i will say is that the food was one thing the one final thing i'll say before i drive zelda moon off into a lake um is that the food was really good yeah atos and Tortas. I just am like, why are you abusing me? I'm having one final meal with my significant romantic partner and we're trying to enjoy ourselves and we selected you. We picked you. And we didn't have to. We have all the options of the whole of like the whole You know city the most

Livable city in the world which includes Some of the most beautiful cuisine That you can purchase in this country Of ours we chose tacos And tortas and you're treating us Like thugs like You're fucking thugs but here's The thing squeezing every drop

Out of life out of us Like like you can't afford it. Like you're about to go out of business if I don't. I'm happy to pay, honey. Yeah. Just don't make me ask. Yeah. But like in Mexico, every time you sit down at a taco restaurant,

which I assume they're basing it off that experience at Tacos and Tortas. I would presume, yes. They bring you a small dish filled with chopped up, fresh salsa, like onions, bits and bobs, coriander, two different types of salsa, and limes, fresh limes to squeeze in your tacos. So in Melbournebourne i'm confused honey have you not do you not understand the fucking theory did you miss like have you not been have you eaten this correctly because you just brought me out tacos with nothing

everything was dry it's like you don't fucking understand what made it good and here you are trying to like convince us that this is the real deal you're sick you're like unwell they brought us hot sauce but i was like where's the fresh zing to make this taco sing you're gonna make me beg for everything it's just like shut up like you're so fucked tacos and tortas in fitzroy Call them out. They're being called out. Well, I just, I'm like, I was so excited to try it. I'd never been when they had their food truck down. And I'm like, I love. This is the first I've ever heard of this fucking place.

I know. They just moved to a new location. They had like a food truck location down. Is it tortoise or tortoise? Tortoise and Tacos. So there's Tortoises. No, there's like sandwiches. Sandwiches.

Like Tortoise. Made out of Tortoise. Listen, the Nocolapco Serencini. It was just like they got the facts halfway there, but it was honestly like why couldn't you get this right yeah there's a i think you're gonna bring your own or something well there's a safe way across the street you want me to go and get some lime and coriander and teach you how to fucking put out a spread it wouldn't cost you that much your tacos are not costing you like the rent is expensive

paying this dopey motherfucker is expensive but like, like, I just don't believe that it's that expensive. You couldn't chop up a fucking onion and give me, like, a hair of coriander. Do you think? What is an onion these days? Wow. What does an onion cost? $10? We're going to bust some of that gas.

A whole bottle of sauce would cost less than $4. Exactly. Like a whole. I mean, I get lime fluctuates, but that's fine. You don't have to always put the lime down. Do you think if the sauce was $1, you'd be as outraged? $4 is exorbitant. If it was $1, I probably would still be pissed that I had to ask for it.

Yes. I'm like, you should pay me $1 for having to talk to you again. True. But at the same time, $4 is the most outrageous thing that's ever happened four dollars that's one dollar away from five dollars five dollars is a note that's a note a note for sauce honey and also it's like like the you gave me too much like i was like this is generous for free but like if i knew that it was four dollars i was like give me a quarter of that i'll pay you a buck yeah you've given too much too much and the fact that they have it on their menu is like like you're crazy you people are gonna go out of business and it was full after this but i like, how many more times can you trick these innocent people?

You're not even serving like hot cuisine. You're serving street food. It's a fucking corn tortilla with a bit of mush in it that you haven't even given the appropriate accoutrement to make it into a fucking meal. And it's street food. And we'd like to thank you so much for listening to everyone this week we'll look forward to having you back with us next week of course and yeah we'll be adding so many more things to the bunker so enjoy your week everyone

and we'll be right back okay bye bye okay okay okay okay Death at Room was recorded in Natural Habitat Studios by Matthew Shears. Our music and theme song was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. If you'd like to, and we encourage you to, ask us anything or complain about whatever dip amounts you don't, deathtoeveronepod.gmail.com. And if you'd like to support us, because, you know, we're going through financial hardship at the moment,

you could do so by subscribing to our Patreon at patreon.com. Bye-bye. Bye.