Death To Everyone - Death To... Katy Perry's Video, Discs & Plane Seats
Episode Date: July 16, 2024I don't know about you, but I'm feeling soo much more apocalyptic. This week your two personal etherial goddesses discuss the much maligned new era of Katy Perry and her world of women. Dive ...into the fierce debate surrounding flat circles and of course hit the hot topic of plane seats. Follow us, won't you? www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod www.instagram.com/mslazysusan www.instagram.com/zeldamoon Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. www.naturalhabitatstudios.com/ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. www.instagram.com/ediecentric/ www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/
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🎵 🎵
🎵 🎵
🎵 TEN TO EVERYONE 🎵
🎵 ESPECIAL YELLING 🎵
🎵 🎵 Hello.
Hello, everybody.
Oh, it's so good to have you back.
Oh, Sulang, your sister.
And I'm glad to be here with you on this fine April's Eve.
Yes. Hello, and welcome fine April's Eve. Yes.
Hello and welcome to Death to Everyone.
Hello.
Okay, so we are here.
It's frosty.
It's a frosty April Eve here.
It's confusing.
Why are you saying April?
Where are we?
What month is it?
July.
Why is July here in the year?
It feels like it should come before June.
We're about a few weeks away from our one-year anniversary. Why is July here in the year? It feels like it should come before June.
We're but a few weeks away from our one-year anniversary.
Bon anniversaire, as the French would say.
Is that what they would say?
If they were drunk and not from France.
My name's Zelda Moon.
And my name is Lazy Susan.
This show is about two celestial goddesses deciding what survives to the end of times, gets into a doomsday bunker so that it can be preserved for rebuilt society one day.
I just had an attack of what they call on Celebrity Memoir Book Club, ugliest girl in the world attack, where I've been doing drag pretty consistently for the last four days, like putting on makeup, doing the whole zhuzh.
And by the last day, I was like, I am the ugliest girl in the world.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Oh, sorry.
No.
It was stiff competition, but you know how many billions of people there are in the world if you want to be the ugliest.
No, you're beautiful.
You're pretty. Pretty. Well, you're beautiful. You're pretty.
Well, thank you.
You're pretty pretty.
Anyway, thank you.
That doesn't help.
But on those days when I feel in drag,
like the ugliest girl in the world,
I like to pretend that I was one of those people
that was caught in some sort of like someone threw a vat of acid at me or I was in a volcano.
You like to pretend. like years of skin grafts and everything from like donor bodies and things to get back to like
having perfectly smooth like face skin yeah and i go it's all going to be okay now and i think that
that's a great mindset to like imagine that like you're the way you are right now is the product of
thousands of hours of top medical care just to get you to this
point because you wouldn't you know then feel like the ugliest girl in the world not the people that
have had us have thrown in them are the ugliest girl in the world what i'm saying is you need to
appreciate as if a lot of work has gone into it by searching create a narrative and yeah build up
some walls around why you might present that way. And if anyone interrogates you, you go, actually,
I've actually been through it.
Thousands of hours after I was caught in that volcano.
A volcano went off recently.
Was it in Italy?
I'm presuming neither of you saw the volcano news this week.
If any one of us was going to know about the volcano news,
it's safe to say it was you.
I don't subscribe to volcano news.
Just Melissa.
So what's happening, everyone?
What's going on?
It's another beautiful April Eve.
Oh, my God.
Four days of drag in a row.
I know.
I hate drag.
The citizens of Melbourne are arrest.
I truly feel like there's going to be a petition for me to stop.
I'm done.
You know, I'm done.
I've given you all that I have, Melbourne.
Yeah.
I did a trivia for the netball team.
Yes.
The Strikers with Melbourne drag queen mum.
Mum.
And that was fab and also chaotic.
The diva that runs the Strikers netball experience has a fabulous vibe.
And he always commits to the theme,
but he also loves to just get into the party spirit
and have a few drinks.
And so when we were doing the trivia and giving out bonus points
for the bonus round, we were like, okay,
so you've just won the bonus round.
Your table gets an extra point.
This bitch saunters over looking like sandra d like in a full 50s prom dress
and it's like 10 points we're like what it's 10 points they're getting 10 points and we're like
i think that that's going to completely throw off the entire balance game because each round is
worth 10 points so for this one luck based bonus round yeah it was
ostensibly going to throw off the results of the entire competition but this drunken olivia newton
john walked past like 10 points oh my god and then at the end the um other person who is rattling it
comes up to us and is like they've won because of that extra 10 points we need to bump it down to five see and this is why it's actually really important to raise your
children playing video games because they will come to appreciate that balance the rules games
really imbalance yes like it's really important actually that kirby can win against ganondorf
or the other way around because
it's based on your skill set because the characters are balanced and if you know how to use it you
know but if you just get 10 points for playing as ganondorf and you always beat kirby yeah that's
just not it but that's not life is it zelda in the real world characters aren't balanced see this is
people wanting bonus points and half points.
People need to learn how to play trivia.
What was the prizes for the- 200 bucks.
Oh, my God.
See, people would rely on that for their income.
And then another trivia countdown.
You've heard of professional poker players.
Well, I would love for someone to write a guide of all the trivias you
could do in melbourne you could make a lot of money well actually my dad's friend stephen hall
he wrote trivia for like a lot of channel seven channel nine tv shows until he amassed the
knowledge bank then he went on a show that they used to have called temptation which was like you
would win win win and then they could try and tempt you with other prizes
to cash out your winnings.
But you kept going and then if you won that day,
you would come back the next day for a whole week.
Yeah.
He won everything and ended up walking away with a quarter
of a million dollars and then all the prizes.
Oh, my God.
And then published a book on how to win game shows
and runs a very active website.
Wow.
Yeah.
And he's like, that was his like plan was like, I'm going to, and him and his wife and his kid were all set up.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
They put it, they bought a house.
When I was growing up, I had a friend called Alex Hall.
Alex Hall.
I presume unrelated, but maybe.
friend called alex hall alex hall i presume unrelated but maybe anyway it was the kind of like friend maybe when i was like in year four he wouldn't talk to you in school but he would
talk to you on the weekend well no we like had this like moment of friendship and we hung out
like maybe once or twice on a weekend and then there was no more friendship. And I think he wasn't across that like, oh, you're gay.
You know?
How like some kids are like, whatever.
And other kids are like, woo.
I don't understand.
And then others are like, oh, no.
This doesn't fit the brand.
This isn't a friendship that I'm interested in.
What does that have to do with Steve Hall?
They have the same last name.
So. It's a yes and podcast.
Yes, and that was stupid.
No, no, I don't want you to listen.
Tell us more about your professional trivia player.
I do remember the first time I noticed people gossiping
about me being effeminate because I had a friend called Alexander
and he was Seventh Day Adventist. noticed people gossiping about me being a feminine yeah because i had a friend called alexander and
he was seventh day adventist i don't know if that has anything to do with it but i think that it
definitely does but we were like bestie bestie besties through like prep one two and then three
and then he started to pull away to play Foursquare during the day at school.
Oh, yeah.
See, that was a great divide for me as well.
And listen, I'm not against Foursquare.
It's a fun game.
I am.
But there were just moments where I could see he was like having a goss
with his friends about me.
But I was really good friends with his sister after that.
Yeah, because you're a little faggot.
Yeah.
And also because we wanted to play fun imagination games at lunch.
We didn't want to like play Foursquare.
Yeah.
Also, you know, Hacky Sack?
We didn't have Hacky Sack.
Really?
Well, it wasn't the 80s when I was going to school.
It wasn't the 80s when I was going to school.
What?
70s?
You tell me when you stopped.
60s?
50s?
She was at the start of the Hacky Sack revolution.
I fucking hated Hacky sack revolution.
I fucking hated hacky sack.
Did you also hate it when they had those nuclear tests and you had to hide under your desk?
You hate that?
What about when smallpox was going around?
Did you hate that too?
Yeah.
Yeah?
But then they invented penicillin?
Did you like that?
Anyway, hacky sack's disgusting.
I do love the design. No!
What? That gorgeous little the design. No!
What?
That gorgeous little tight weave.
No. Sometimes there's little elephants marching around the side of it.
No!
It reminds me of Ishka.
Yes.
Also, I hate it with hacky sack, how you like hold it up and there's clearly like a sphere inside.
But the sack is an exterior layer. So you can kind of hold it like a teardrop
yeah and it's like the skin is pulling away from the flesh yes you know but that's how all things
are we're all just hacky we are yeah but i don't want to be reminded of that and then kick it from
my you know knee to the inside of my foot i wish I'd developed some sort of hand-eye coordination.
Well, so did everyone.
Instead of becoming the ugliest woman in the world.
There were two paths you could have taken,
and you chose ugliest woman.
But you know what dawns on me now,
thinking about dear friends from primary school,
is that I always thought the straight boys had such a good life ahead of them
because everything kind of worked, you know.
Becoming a tradie and living on the peninsula.
But I don't think life has gone well for them.
No.
That's the fabulous thing.
That they were set up for success, but it was success on like their metric.
And at the time we didn't realize that their metric is bullshit.
But now you do.
And it's like, oh, realize that their metric is bullshit. But now you do. Yeah.
And it's like, oh, sucked in, you fucking losers.
And now we have a podcast.
And wigs.
And so many wigs.
And you've had all that surgery done.
Yes.
And my skin now, you can't even tell that I was in that volcano.
I love that.
Can I tell you something, sister?
One thing.
Yesterday, I watched The Birds.
I was waiting for this.
Yeah.
Tell your story.
Okay, so I started-
And she wasn't just talking about the birds in her bird bath.
She was talking about the film by Alfred Hitchcock.
My God, it was so good.
Enthralling from the get-go.
It starts in a, you know, exotic pet store.
I mean, what a place to be.
Beautiful, like cages, monkeys in the window next to kittens.
Oh, take me there.
Then the woman is crazy and a liar.
And she instantly starts lying to this guy who comes in for lovebirds.
And she's like, yes, I'll help you out.
And she shows him canaries.
And he's like, what?
She doesn't work there.
She's just there to pick up her own bird.
She's crazy.
I love it.
Anyway, then she goes even more crazy and sources birds for him.
And then finds out who he is and where he lives.
And then goes and puts the birds in his house as like a sweet gesture.
And yeah, anyway, then the birds turn on everyone.
I mean, obviously it's very dated, but I suppose technically is a horror film.
And you weren't spooked?
I mean, there's some chilling moments.
There's a lot of like all the birds, like the birds attack in waves, right?
So there's moments where the birds are like pecking through the walls.
But then others where the birds are just sitting and watching.
And it's really scary.
Yeah, that's what the most creepy thing about birds are,
is that they're kind of like always watching.
You said, I watch you, you don't watch me.
Yeah.
Do they have books about what I am like?
Tippi Hedren.
Okay.
What if the ocean is just the bird's birdbath for us?
Tippi Hedren, who was in the birds.
Her daughter was not Mariska Hargitay like I thought.
It was Melanie Griffith.
And that means that her granddaughter is-
Rachel Griffith.
Madam Webb.
Dakota Johnson.
What a legacy. Isn't that incredible wow that's crazy how good dakota johnson could be in the remake of the birds my father was researching birds in the amazon when
he died yes yeah very well done sister thank you i also loved that she goes to well i've missed a
key detail but she doesn't like she's not
dropping the birds at his house she's dropping him at the house that he goes to on the of the
weekend yes at the bay yes so she wears one outfit to drive luxuriously to the bay and then she's
stuck in the same outfit all weekend which is why that's the like iconic outfit she's wearing like a very sensible low but open kind of
pump like no ankle strap present and there's all these shots when hayworth dies and when she's
attacked by the birds in the room upstairs and she's like dragged through and like not a heel
never is apart from a foot well you can't show feet on main.
Right?
It's like conspicuously, like if you're dragging a dead body
and they're wearing a pump, it's gonna fall off.
But no, I loved that.
Oh, I loved when she was being attacked by the birds in the attic
and she just can't get the door open because she's just so distraught.
It's so ridiculous.
Okay.
Zelda Moon.
Yes.
How does the world end?
Oh, sister.
I did know it was my week, but I didn't prepare anything.
If only you just spent a while talking about a film with an apocalypse.
Oh, I'm not a copier.
Yeah, I'm not really interested in a remake.
No, there'll be no birds in my fucking destruction of the world this week.
I'm sorry.
Darling.
To have said that to you.
Instead, a gigantic woman approaches the planet.
And you know what?
Actually, I was thinking about this this morning.
Because I was like, is that my work?
I can't remember.
And what I decided on is that we have not yet tapped the artwork of our podcast oh a gigantic woman
closes her hand around planet earth and crushes it i like that thank you zelda what's the woman's
name zelda okay okay To my
To my dream
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
The topic number one of this week.
Okay. Okay, so our first number one of this week. Okay.
Okay, so our first topic for discussion this week is which disc goes into the bunker.
Oh, and we do have one disc currently in the bunker, and that is Rat Race,
which is caught in a DVD player in a hallway.
Of course.
But we're ready.
Our hearts are open for other types of discs.
Another disc.
I think it's time.
Well, let's discuss.
Discuss. for other types of discs. Another disc. I think it's time. Well, let's discuss...
Discus.
What do you think about discuses?
Well, discus is my favorite kind of fish.
What do you mean?
I love discus. Of all fish?
They're so cute.
They're very docile and they're scared.
I like that.
Beautiful, large and in charge charge but also easily picked on my friend Cameron used to have
a swarm of discus fish inside a tank in the upstairs room and you'd be trying to fall asleep
and those discus would be like flapping around when I took them out of the tank and put them
on the ground oh my god and it was annoying um yes i had discus growing up and they were so
beautiful um so love discus but i presume perhaps i now realize you meant the frisbee like yeah
you know that's quite a chic very roman yeah we've got laser tag in the bunker but this will
hearken back to our you know gorgeous daughter of moment. I was thinking about a discus though.
I would want like the vortex.
Like if I'm playing like a throwing ball game.
Like a frisbee?
No, the vortex, you know.
That's not a discus.
No, but I'm just saying.
That's a torpedo.
Of things that I'm throwing.
Hacky sack.
Wait, of things you're throwing.
Yeah.
That are discs?
No.
Well, that's so interesting because we're talking about discs
right yeah but i'm just saying i wouldn't want to like if discus gets in we can't then have the
vortex when we get to like what throwing object do we put in the bunker yeah but this could be
in a display like a glass case like near the pompeii room that's right you know see tell
the story of time gone by you know what can? Can I say something? Museums are so boring.
Oh, my God.
Oh, I hate it.
Why?
I don't need to see that.
Here is a plate.
Okay.
From an ancient civilization.
All right.
Very old.
It's very old.
And here's a mural about how they would have lived.
Oh, get a life.
Unrelated question.
Yes.
What do you think about being contrary just for attention?
I don't know that that's the case.
Okay.
I just think we need new things.
Proved your point
I just
I just don't
I just don't need it
yeah
um
because
well you'll love the concept
for our podcast
where we preserve things
but we select
one or two things
I'm okay with
one or two things
but like
you just want a museum
with one or two
pieces of historical
isn't a bunker
just a museum
well I don't think
we should have museums.
I mean, number one, okay, can I just say, Zelda,
while you're on this tip about me being a contrarian,
museums are intrinsically the work of colonizers.
Oh, here we go.
You're looking at blood artifacts stolen from other people's cultures
so they're not implicitly good we don't have to just assume that museums are important yeah well
you know what i also saw black panther and i agree
that's your day you know what i know that's where you got that idea from i'm gonna throw you out of a building i wish you
would and so what about the wagon wheel watusi play wagon wheel watusi i do think about that
wagon wheel table and when harry met sally um no i think that my disc is the Discworld by Terry Pratchett. Oh. Yeah. I'm taking it in a different direction.
Wait.
So as in what?
The turtle?
The great Archean with the four elephants and then the disc world on her back.
Isn't there a turtle?
The turtle is the great Archean.
Oh, right.
Sorry.
Flying through space for all time with the four elephants on her back and then the world
resting atop the four elephants.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
The Discworld.
But maybe we could just take the, like, audiobooks.
On disc.
Yeah, I like that.
What about, like, a Kylie Minogue pressed vinyl disc?
Oh, the one she comes up on on the Aphrodite tour?
Yes, yes, yes.
She has to kind of hold on to those two little pegs as she is raised up onto the stage.
Yeah, what about that disc?
A UMD for your PSP.
I hated those discs because like, is it a disc or a cartridge?
It's trapped in a cartridge.
I liked that it was a disc you couldn't scratch as easily.
No, that's part of the fun.
A bit of danger.
Take care of your things.
What less am I going to learn?
You want to like punish the careless
Yeah
You're like, I would like
The thoughtless
The people who think that their parents
Will just buy them another copy
If it gets too damaged
Fuck you
Take care of it
What about if they just throw it around
And then it gets all scratched up?
You're playing Xena?
Yeah
Okay, if you're playing Xena
Then I'll allow it.
True.
What are her weapons called?
They're called chakras, aren't they?
Chakram.
Chakram.
Yeah, the Xena's bladed disc.
That's a great disc.
That's pretty good.
That's like a discus, except with the intent to kill.
Oh, they're so cool.
Do you think Lucy Lawless comes with them or what?
Yeah.
That disc. Why don't I own a pair of these? So cool. Do you think Lucy Lawless comes with them or what? Yeah.
That disc.
Why don't I own a pair of these?
What would you do once you have them?
Throw them at my enemies.
I presume.
Do you think contact lenses count as discs?
Yeah.
Like a concave disc.
A concave disc.
Yeah.
What do you think about colored contacts?
They hurt my eyes.
A nice blue contact lens i think it's outrageous that white eye tech in cinema to when they have like no pupil or anything
like why does halle berry look so fucking crazy as storm what's the issue they look so bad like
so because like the white oh is too big and it's also not glowing and it's just like a misty you
can kind of still see it's just like not the right execution like it looks a bit more blind
yeah maybe but like in the comics it is like white it's just it's not like it's crazy big
or something there is just nothing it's white because she's using her crazy powers. And that's so cool. Oh, I see.
They seem to be able to handle all black, but all white eyes.
I don't know.
This feels like a creative decision.
I hate it.
And that's why contact lenses aren't the disc that we put in the bunker
because I don't think we're there yet.
And what's the point in preserving something that's still on the way?
I'm looking at it now.
I'm looking at Halle Berry.
She's got her laces coming a bit too far down as well.
Yes.
Yeah.
What about a nice plate?
Yeah.
So like one with like from thousands of years ago.
I know I'm going to hear from the fucking – you know, one day –
you know what the worst part is?
The museum community.
Yeah.
One day I'm going to be invited to perform at a museum
and then people are going to be like in my mentions being like,
hi, I used to listen to the podcast before Zelda fell out of that building.
And I just.
Front page news.
Yeah.
And she's now like supporting museums.
You know what?
Whatever.
You're a phony.
No, well, I'm a multifaceted human being and I'm allowed to work for the museum.
Okay, fine.
I'm working for the museum.
I take the gig. I'm doing it. I'm a multifaceted human being and I'm allowed to work for the museum. Okay, fine. I'm working for the museum.
I take the gig.
I'm ready.
I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
I love museums preservationism.
You know what?
It's just I have complicated feelings.
Yeah.
It's more with art though, can I say? It's more with art galleries because I'm like, what makes art good?
Well, it's also interesting, right?
Because you see pictures of people at the Mona Lisa.
I was in France last year and I didn't go to the Mona Lisa
because I don't care.
I went to a park instead and it was fantastic.
Yes.
Because any picture on the internet or book
or the print I could buy for my wall,
I could look at and appreciate so much more than I could at seeing the actual Mona Lisa.
Surrounded by 10,000 people taking photos and blah, blah, blah.
Okay.
So that's the thing, I guess, that feeling of not being able to see or appreciate the thing that was once because it doesn't exist because it's so abstracted by the amount
of people, by the like circus around it.
And it's so far removed from its context.
The new context is kind of hideous.
Like when I was in Venice, Venice is incredible,
a city built on water.
But it's not a place anymore.
It's not a functioning place.
It's a tourist trap.
Yeah.
And I'm sure there are parts of Venice where people live their lives,
but by and large, you are surrounded by tourists at all times.
Like Venice doesn't exist.
It is now an idea.
Yeah. And what's the point if you
can't live in it you know and i guess that's the thing if you're in rome and you're living in next
to a wall that is 3 000 years old yeah that's kind of cool because it's just part of your daily life
and you're able to keep doing stuff around it but this idea that we stop this thing in its moment in time and it loses
all of its utility yeah and it's just an artifact without context so you didn't buy a ceramic
venetian mask there were so many disgusting masks and you didn't hold it on one stick to your eyes
when you got home and said look i went there i there. I've been. You didn't do that? No.
Oh.
But it was the Venice Film Festival.
Okay.
And there was people on those gorgeous mahogany taxi boats.
Oh, yeah.
I really want to be like invited to the Venice Film Festival.
Fine, I'll do the Venice Film Festival.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What about a Discman?
I do like a Discman.
Discmans were so cool.
Yeah.
And they were just so like short-lived, you know.
Yeah, because of the skip.
Well, some of them had anti-skip.
Wow.
See, this is the thing, right?
They create a problem and they present a solution.
Yeah, I hate that.
Isn't that so disgusting?
Wow.
You really, you told them.
Yeah.
I think it would be funny to just have one Discman with one CD in it.
Yeah.
What would your one CD be?
Oh, it has to be. Jack, Jack, Jackie.
Did you have that on CD?
I did have that on CD.
Oh.
I remember this is a good CD disc story.
My cousin Mary, who is incredibly sweet, beautiful young woman,
and is also very like just a nice girl who is normal.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like she's a girl that you could go to like a really nice winery with
and she would wear the perfect outfit for the day like a
summer dress and she would just be perfectly put together yeah and like her and her friends would
all be like beautiful and perfectly put together and everything that happened on that day would be
like normal and no one would be obscene and loud and like nothing inappropriate would be discussed
at the table anyway so that girl, when I was like 14,
it would have been like her 10th or 11th birthday.
And I was like, what can I get her that's going to be like,
fully like take her into her adult teen years, you know,
thinking because I'd had such good luck giving some of my guy friends
Nirvana as an album.
Oh, yeah.
And it had like changed their lives. Like truly like they were like, I can't believe an album. Oh, yeah. And it had changed their lives.
Truly, they were like, I can't believe this album.
Cool.
But then I was like, what are we going to give her?
And then I gave her, thinking that I was the coolest older cousin in the world,
a copy of Evanescence, The Open Door.
Yeah. Yeah.
I just cringe so, so hard at myself.
It's just like I actually like it keeps me up at night.
Mary didn't like Evanescence?
Mary was like, thank you.
And then my aunt was like, wow first turkey's called sober and then she brought
it up recently at family christmas she's like you gave me that oh no what would i what okay if i
ever go back in time what should i give her that's actually genuinely quite chic that would like be good? On disc?
Yeah, for her.
Yeah.
Okay.
For the woman she's set to like needs to become.
I mean, and what year was this?
Like 95?
95?
No.
What year?
2005, 2004.
2005.
I don't know.
When did that Fergie album come out?
Yeah, maybe Fergie.
Because it's like a little bit fun and be like,
you kind of just like let loose a little.
Yeah, let loose.
But not too crazy.
Just spell some words.
G-L-A-M-O-R-E-S.
I just kind of can't believe.
O-U-S, Mary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad that she still thinks about it as well.
That's good punishment.
It literally is.
You know what I hated about discs, actually, is that growing up...
Wait, tell that...
Do you get off being a contrarian?
It's called a callback.
See, I love when you do a callback because that means that it did annoy you.
So that's great.
So deeply.
Actually, it doesn't bother me at all.
I've had a lot of things, listener, this week that didn't bother me.
I'm actually fine.
Can we get into some of those?
Oh, we can talk about my terrible taste in men at some point.
God damn it.
Oh, yeah.
in men at some point um god damn it oh yeah the thing i hate about discs is growing up always playing nintendo when like there would be fucking demo playstation 1 games in the magazine you were
never getting a demo nintendo 64 cartridge yeah that's not very i didn't like that Equitable? Yeah
Well
It's not very fair
And when they're like
Burning game discs
And then you've got like
200 games or whatever
And I've just got like
You know
Star Wars Podracer
On cartridge
Yeah
I can only get the ones
That I buy
Or when I would occasionally
You have the joy of
Hanging out with Wado
So who wins?
Wado And Gabania Yeah Exactly Yeah occasionally you have the joy of hanging out with water so who wins exactly yeah what about when age
of empires would come with a thing of cornflakes what oh yeah yeah like that yeah i never got that
you never got that and then my computer was never strong enough but i did have dinotopia
on computer and that's a fabulous disc we should put that in and i had like it came in
this big box and we got it from harvey norman yes i don't even know why we were at harvey norman
and then there was dinotopia game there and in a rare occurrence mom was like yes because she
knew how much i love the dinotopia books and then she was like uh an interactive cdROM. Do you know what? Looking back at how much things cost,
I'm like, parents are just being cunts
when they're not buying you things.
Yeah.
Because it's not that much.
No.
I remember agonizing about particular things.
And I was never like, you know,
not like kids these days,
wanting everything,
going to the store and always coming home with a treat.
No, no. I'm talking like maybe once a year and always coming home with a treat no no i'm talking
like maybe once a year i would come home with a treat what the fuck matt are you gonna be really
what kind of parenting style are you gonna enforce when you go to the shops and there's treats to be
had i reckon i'm just gonna let her have whatever she wants oh Oh, daddy's little girl. Yeah.
Someone's elder.
You know, just let her have whatever she wants.
It's all right.
Yeah.
No, I'm pretty sure that ends well for all of us.
She won't be spoiled, right?
Yeah.
What about the wheel?
Just a general wheel.
Well, I said wagon wheel.
You said wagon wheel.
I said just a general wheel. But also I think that you thought that I meant like of a wagon.
I mean like the sweet treat.
Ooh, a delicious sweet treat.
Yeah.
Marshmallow, jam, biscuit, chocolate.
Why are we all sleeping on the wagon wheel?
Do they have wagon wheel in other countries?
I don't know.
I need to find out.
Wagon wheel is probably the most delicious treat that's ever happened.
Like I think I need a wagon wheel.
It's so rich, though, that it's just the right amount.
They come from the United Kingdom, and they are sold in all Commonwealth countries,
Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and India.
Oh, God.
They are also sold in Ireland and consist of two biscuits that form a sandwich
with a marshmallow filling that are covered in chocolate coating.
Where's the jam?
Talk about the jam.
Yeah.
The star of the show is the jam.
In such a small amount.
Original Wagon Wheel is now called chocolate.
And no jam center.
And it's called an original.
Do you know what the Brits call the jam Wagon Wheel?
Think about it.
Dragon Wheel? What those pale beasts would call the jam wagon wheel? Think about it. Dragon wheel?
What those pale beasts would call it.
They call it a jammy.
Oh, yuck.
Do you know one time?
Yuck.
My friend Tom and his boyfriend Joe, who are both British,
were down in Australia.
And I was like, you know what, Joe, this is his first time in Australia.
So we'll get out all of the British, I mean, the Australian candies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like a killer python.
Yeah, like a spread of everything.
So he could try everything.
What did you call me?
A killer python.
And anyway, so then we put out a whole spread.
And then he's like, we were like, I tried this Caramella Koala.
And he's like, oh, yeah, this is like a periwiffler.
And then he's going through and he's like, oh, yeah,
this is like a sods crud.
And then it became sods crud.
He was just making up names of British candies.
It was like, and for the first few i was just like yeah yeah yeah and
then he's like i was like wait a second that doesn't exist oh my god this is a squaz wang
it was so good oh that's very funny yeah i like that it's like a jammy
lazy why don't you you get me another jammy? I mean, I think that we should put in Xena's chakram.
I like that.
That feels of the right scale.
Yeah.
Do we put in the pear or just one?
The pear.
Yeah, okay.
And we need someone to throw them.
Well, Bayonetta will have that under control.
Oh, you don't want Lucy Lawless?
Oh my God.
Yes, I want Lucy Lawless. I think this would be a great opportunity to put my God. Yes. I want Lucy Lawless.
I think this would be a great opportunity to put her in.
Yes.
Oh, and her little fringe.
I also love when they throw the chakram.
Yeah.
The sparks that would fly off all the stone surfaces.
Also, when you are inventing a character
and knowing the budget you have for season one of this show you're like we
could have a sword that is held in one hand and only works when held yeah by the actor or we could
complicate things and have two flying discs that we will have to rig up for every scene that they use yes what a bold choice
and then gabriella had a long stick yes that's where they got the budget they were like yeah
gabriella you can have this piece of wood yeah it's not magical it's just a stick yeah but you
know what we're not gonna have to have an armorer checking out whether your blade is dulled true yeah oh so good that is good oh i love that okay lucy lolis and two chakram incredible and i think
that you'll seldom see her holding them because they'll just be bouncing off the walls sparking
yes like going around corners like but also like if one of the murphy beds that's a little bit
higher is a bit jammed, she can just.
Yeah.
And if there's ever like someone hanging on the flying fox
above the oceanarium that she doesn't like, she'll cut their rope.
It's holding them to the flying fox.
I love it.
Yeah.
A little snack for old Meg.
Can I ask you just quickly, as someone who keeps a spreadsheet
on this show, which ride did we end up putting in?
Oh, Ghost Train
Yeah, Dracula's Ghost Train
Good, yes
I was just worried that we put in a ride that I hadn't been thinking about
Yeah, no, no, no
Good, it's good
Good
Okay, with that list
Oh, Matt, do you have anything to...
Oh, no, no
I know you want a Discman
But when we get to portable music container, we'll come back to it
We'll definitely think about it
Yeah
Spinal disc But when we get to portable music container, we'll come back to it. We'll definitely think about it.
Spinal disc.
Well, yeah, I was going to say like vertebrae number four or whatever.
Well, I've already got some skeletons.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Skellingtons.
Yeah, skellingtons.
Oh, well, there's one right here.
Oh!
The other day I was like, did Lazy know that he was saying Skellington?
It's Skellington Like no one picked him up on it
What are you meant to say?
Safe to say, yes
Skellington?
Skellington
How else do you say it?
She was like, is that how you pronounce it?
No one was saying anything
Just a thought
Imagine if we were like forced to like go into the real world.
Whom?
Us.
I am every day.
No, no.
Every day.
Honey, I want to talk Warnumbul.
No, no.
No more like selling lipsticks.
No more like podcasts and like fucking auctions on a Saturday night.
It's like you both have to go and work like a government research, like scientific,
like testing, like the real world.
Yeah.
And then you're like on a coffee break and you say Skellington and the people
around you are not enchanted by it.
That's just never going to happen.
We just have to be grateful.
I know.
That's not our life.
Because for some people, they could not say Skellington and get away with it.
That's what I'm saying.
Why don't I tell you something, Zelda?
In another life.
Yeah.
Katy Perry.
Yeah.
In another life.
In another life.
Yeah.
Where things are easier for me.
In another life where things are easier for me, I work in a factory.
Yeah.
Okay.
I need you to imagine that.
Get up, go to the factory, and on the lunch break,
the middle-aged women that I work with, I say to Skellington,
they fall out i'm not being stared dead-eyed by some old cross-dresser on a couch opposite me who's heard this shit and is
not delighted these women would be like you are the single funniest human being we've ever met
and i'm gonna tell my kids and grandkids all about you.
Every opportunity I get.
But we can't wait for you at the stuff.
No,
but see,
that is our lives at the moment.
We are the cameo gays that like,
there's no way that I'm not a cameo gay,
but like,
imagine the world where like,
it doesn't land anymore.
Well,
there was this one guy at my old job who was a client who was a i'm if i ever got
really really famous like president of the world famous yeah this guy would be so quickly on my
list of people that i'd call out in funny interviews with kelly clarkson on her couch
because this piece of fucking shit dead-eyedeyed fish of a man was a client
who worked at one of our big clients and he was this like 30-something
sandy blonde man who was born without a personality tragically
and had like a wife and kids, played indoor football,
loved going to the footy, like loved
them.
Hi boys, how you doing?
Blah, blah, blah.
And let me tell you, this man wanted me dead because inside of this boring man, the only
part of his personality that had any kind of light or fire was his intolerance towards
people that were not like him.
And it was truly incredible to watch how uncomfortable it made him
to be around someone he knows fucked men up the ass.
And also, anytime he had to be around my co-worker,
who was a woman who was loud and didn't just sit there
and look pleasant in office attire.
And it made him furious it you could see the darkness in his eyes and when i think about that man and
the the thought of ever having to interact with him again i just i would kill myself and he had
power he had absolute power to do whatever the fuck he wanted. And it just makes me think of all the people in the world that are like him,
fish flopping around in their corporate jobs,
in their shitty fucking polyester suits,
making huge decisions about the spending of giant companies.
And he's just such a basic fucking bitch.
I wouldn't trust him to pick a fucking restaurant,
let alone decide what we
should spend a million dollars on for a fucking ad campaign like this man evil was the opposite
antithesis of creativity like wherever he like it was just incredible i can't wait to continue to
talk about how much this man fucking sucked yeah and the way that he looked at me was like this dead-eyed contempt.
But that, thankfully,
there were women that worked there
and we could have a goss.
Mmm.
Yeah.
I love it.
Well, listener, I hope that
Xena doesn't clip your ears with her chakram.
Oh my god, too soon.
We'll be right back.
Breaking news.
Trump safe after shooting at rally.
Suspect is killed.
So.
Trump has just been shot ladies and gentlemen
And everyone else
And those in between
Yeah
That
So did the person who shot
Were they shot down or did they
I can only assume
Unalive themselves
Yeah
Unalive
You can say killed themselves
Yeah
I don't know We We can say killed themselves.
I don't know.
We'll have to – by the time you're hearing this,
you probably know the details better than we do.
Yeah, but it's literally just happened. I can't believe it turned out to be Michelle Obama.
I thought you were going to say, I can't believe it's not butter.
Yeah.
If I knew the bar was this low to get a laugh out of you,
I thought you were going to say.
You don't need to come up with such complicated jokes as Skellington.
You can't believe it's not.
Anyway, Trump is too sharp.
Yeah, all right, right, right.
I'm fucking glad he's still alive And that's not because I think
No, yeah, we were discussing earlier
But perhaps it would incite more violence
If he was shot dead in the face
For real
It would be terrifying
If that man dies now and becomes
Some sort of martyr
For the alt-right.
It would be dangerous days.
I mean, it still will be.
Something is going to happen as a result of this.
It's very scary.
I do often think, like, it seems wild in America, of all places,
where everyone seems to have a gun or whatever,
that more presidents or, like, why is it just like school shootings and
blah blah yeah and not like how has it been so long since like a presidential assassination or
whatever i think i know there's a lot of like security yeah i think it's that yeah it's just
security and uh yeah they would just have screenings, right? Yeah. Did you see that Trump golfing video this week?
No.
Where he was like, I don't know who caught the footage,
maybe like some, you know, like golf club holder person or something.
But it was just Trump being like, yeah,
Biden really bombed the debate or whatever.
Yeah.
And just like trash talking Biden,
but obviously not realizing who's
being recorded it was just like get it yeah get her gossiping with all this i saw today the other
day that uh donald trump was on impulsive the logan paul youtube channel what and fuck logan paul yes fuck logan paul so much oh my god like i knew he
was a piece of shit he's always been a piece of shit yes but fuck this piece of fucking shit
because the second that he stopped being like mainstream youtuber He's just gone and eked out this kind of weird space in the alt-right.
Oh, it's just fucking like loser dude bros who idolize these random YouTubers
and just like the ecosystem is so closed that the echo chamber is real.
Yeah.
But I've been wanting to talk about this, so here's a quick segue.
But speaking of, like, idiot YouTubers.
So, there, of course, I watch, like, lots of, like, reptile and fish YouTubers, right?
And there's this one guy in, like, Florida or whatever.
Nick Bingo, who like has like a kind of like a big like saltwater like pond.
And he has like a pond in the backyard that has like sometimes there's like an alligator in it or whatever.
Like free alligator that stumbles in?
Yeah, because Florida constantly floods. floods so then like i don't know how they are allowed to have the fish that they have in their ponds because everything floods and then all the fences are underwater and then all the waterways
are just connected to all these ponds so like when it all settles back down everything's all mixed
like no wonder the everglades are fucked anyway um
mick bingo is this like very hot semi-successful like fish youtuber and how do you categorize
semi-successful oh like you know like videos average like maybe like between 200 000 and
half a million views oh my god yeah he's not like he's not like paul cafero level
or like um like camp cannon or something there's no snake discovery that's for
sure yeah or like urban rescue ranch you know but he's like kind of like lower than but still
you know he's in the mix it's like he's extremely profitable full-time job yeah yeah but nick bingo
has a brother younger or older don't know don't, who did porn a couple of years ago, like gay porn under the,
I don't think it's a performer name.
It's just like his name, but I think his name is Christian.
So Christian Bingo, which is also hilarious.
Sorry, guys.
And every now and I only found this out.
And then I was like, oh, I do recognize that.
Because in the comments of some of Nick Bingo's, like, I got a, like, I don't know, stingray for my 500 gallon pond.
I know this man.
Right.
Okay, you guys know, this is not just someone doing gay porn.
This is like the meme of someone doing gay porn.
Yes.
Sorry.
It's the guy that gets blown on the couch.
I don't know how.
There's a guy that blows straight guys called Beefcake Hunter.
Yes.
And he's this kind of like, I don't know.
It's very like Bait Buster Jason.
Yeah.
But it's like very real.
Like that's the point of difference is that it feels like it's like a shitty hotel room.
Yes.
And this guy is the one that looks like a Ken doll type, but he's like young, young, young twink.
Like 1918.
Yeah.
He's 19 in the video, the first video.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's from like 2001 or something.
Anyway.
Yeah.
So I discovered, I put the links, you know, it was like the missing link.
That's what they're talking about is this link.
And it was in the YouTube section of comments.
And there's occasionally some like scathing little asshole who's like, yeah, well, your brother sucks dick or whatever.
Yeah, right.
To like egg on Nick Bingo when he's like gone to,
you know,
like see what I catch in the ocean today or whatever.
Yeah.
Um,
and it's just what an incredible.
Does he ever respond?
No.
Does the brother?
Well,
the brother has been on some videos,
but Nick Bingo also fucking sucks.
So I don't really watch the channel,
but just like occasionally,
um, I had the brother was like a Trump and now, oh, Nick Bingo also fucking sucks, so I don't really watch the channel. Oh. But just like occasionally.
I heard the brother was like a Trumper now.
Oh, they are all, all of them, except for Snake Discovery,
are all fucking crazy religious right-wingers.
Like, and Nick Bingo also, why I don't watch a lot of the videos. If you were really religious, would you be associating with serpents?
The devil.
True.
Some of them have pet goats.
But yeah, like Nick Bingo always signs off or mentions, you know, like praise be kind of thing.
And like when they have all the floods and stuff, they're always like, you know, send your prayers out oh we got you know my ponds overflowing again um not a joke i don't know that that's what prayers were for
yeah right maybe it was maybe that's the og reason like it's also like urban rescue ranch he's so hot
but like he's so religious it's just crazy could you date someone who is really religious no i don't think i could
i could date someone with faith but if they were really devout yeah i don't think you could do it
i it would put too many red flags on their general intelligence perhaps
that i might question how their thought processes work in other ways
first she came for the bold
no
I don't like that
religious persecution
so if you feel like
having a little deep dive into
I think you're going to talk about Sketch
have you seen that stuff
happening with
sketch the i don't know what that is he's a twitch streamer no oh there was this twitch streamer guy
who got really famous for being a meme um who's kind of big in that scene i think i don't know
what game i think he's a fortnight streamer but his um only fans came out and he'd been doing some like hardcore gay OnlyFans,
being like a little sub.
This freak?
Yeah.
But his response to being out of this doing OnlyFans was incredible.
If you'd like to listen, listeners.
Wait.
Yeah, it came out. Wait. Wait.
Where?
Oh my God.
But on a real note,
I've been living
under the threat.
I did not have sexual relations with that man.
I'm just kidding. I did.
I'll start from the top.
Look at this. Open it up.
I like that.
Yeah, that's funny.
But he was going to kill himself because it came out.
What?
And then all his gamer friends came to the rescue.
Good.
And then all of these, like the whole week online has been all these like straight boys
who are really involved in the like kind of intense
like gaming scene twitch gaming scene being like that's okay like it's okay for him to have done
this he didn't hurt anyone yeah and we're okay with it and he and it was like very like them having to really make clear that it's okay to be different.
Although the unfortunate part is that Sketch is now like, I'm different now.
I'm not like that.
God is great.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Double down.
Yeah.
I'm like, baby, you're gay.
Yeah.
You took that dick.
Yeah.
But not just one time.
It was a whole thing. Well, it was a three-part series. By Ryan Murphy. Yeah. But, like, not just one time. Like, it was a whole thing.
Well, it was a three-part series.
By Ryan Murphy.
Yeah.
Dakota Johnson will play Sketch.
Yeah.
But, like, in, like, a, like, oh, God, what was it?
Like, a Wonder Woman Lycra outfit.
Yes.
Like, with your, like, tank towards the sun.
outfit yes yeah like with your like tank towards the sun um so anyway our next topic for discussion today is of course which plane seat okay so this comes out after another recent scandal because
you know planes are talked about often on the internet they are hot debate yes and of course
that was snakes on a plane let's get these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane.
Just keep tapping.
Cobra Starship.
You go.
Oh, I'm ready for it.
Come on, bring it.
You remember that?
That's not what I meant.
Wait, was that the Snakes on a Plane song that Cobra Starship did?
I haven't seen Snakes on a Plane.
Oh, I love that movie.
There's a bit where a woman steps,
like they're all running to get off the plane
and the flight attendant, she like has her like stiletto heels on,
which you wouldn't be allowed to wear as a flight attendant,
but that's okay.
And she steps on this guy and the heel goes into his eye
and then snaps off.
And he's like, oh, the film is incredible.
Do any snakes actually accidentally get pinned to the floor through a stele?
No.
Okay.
But there's lots of snakes in the plane.
Who put them on there?
I think it was something to do with a drug cartel trying to kill someone,
but they get into everything.
They do be like that.
They find a way.
It's a great, and there's a gay flight attendant and a little dog.
And don't worry, it's offensive.
I am worried.
Okay, so wait, what happened on plane two?
Oh, yes.
Okay, so this woman, for your consideration, didn't have heels on.
She had no shoes on.
She was in a three-seater.
Brett Dennis Howard.
Three-seater row. Yeah. She had the window on. She was in a three-seater. Brett Dennis Howard. Three-seater row.
Yeah.
She had the window seat.
Okay.
She's got her back lent up against the window
and she's reading from the book that she's reading.
And she's got the window open, but it's like fake nighttime on the plane.
Everyone's windows are closed.
Yeah.
And she's letting the light into the whole cabin.
And then she is sitting there the video i saw this other woman is like this is not crazy she's allowed to do that because she's the window seat and that's your prerogative so
the each seat comes with its own advantages and disadvantages so if you're on the aisle seat you
can go to the bathroom anytime you like.
You don't have to disturb anyone.
Yeah.
And you get the furthermost, like the left armrest.
Yeah.
There's no disputing that.
Yeah.
There's no one else that can take it.
You also get bumped by everyone that walks past.
Yes.
And that's the disadvantage is that you're right in the thicker things.
Then middle seat, worst seat, but you get both armrests according to this woman
which i wish i'd known that before i took the most uncomfortable flight to darwin ever where i kept
trying to like not have either well i was yeah giving it up to the woman on my left who had the
fucking anyway now i'm angry in retrospect but at the time i was like i should be generous but i'm
trying and then you have the window seat where you have the option.
You are the keeper of the window.
So you decide whether it's up or down.
And then you also can lean against that whole wall, which is very comfy.
Love the lean.
Make yourself a little nest up in there.
Yeah.
So those are the three seats.
But if you have to get up, you disturb in one, disturb in two.
Oh, it's so embarrassing.
Yeah. Sorry. Oh, it's so embarrassing. Yeah.
Sorry.
Oh, sorry.
I'd rather shit myself.
And then, what?
I said I'd rather shit myself on the plane.
Zelda, are you following?
Yeah.
I'd rather shit myself in my pants on the plane than disturb two people.
You don't think that shit might disturb us?
Maybe.
Okay.
Yeah.
Anyway.
I think that's interesting.
Also, I think
the planes are interesting.
Like, you really see people's
true souls on a plane.
Yeah.
Also, I don't think
that those little nozzles
for air con
are discriminatory
and often need three.
Like, if I am angling it to me on the left seat or whatever, is it really not, like, is it just a pure tunnel to me?
No.
And it's the same with the reading lights.
No, but it's like.
The reading light thing is ridiculous because they are blinding.
And, like, I was trying to sleep and a guy turned his on
behind me and i think that is so bright dude like come on we can like you don't need to read this
book so like what is that your last will and testament darling you don't need to read um
but it's a shame because i love the design of those little nozzle lights that are on like a sphere, I presume, inside.
And like then the little thing is so like little boop.
A little protrusion with the light.
And you can angle just a bit.
It's got like just enough.
Yeah.
I love that.
But I hate when it's on.
I wish that they got into like a soft box light
that just was over the tray table area.
Do you know what I mean?
Something a bit more, so you could read a book from it,
but like it wasn't illuminating the entire cabin.
No, like if you look at it and it hurts your eye, it's inappropriate.
Yeah.
That's how you know it was like Boeing is staffed by a straight man.
Yeah.
It just wouldn't happen.
No.
There would be no lights, there'd just be lamps.
Yeah.
So, everyone get your lamps.
Kerosene lamps.
My rules on a plane are, like what I believe, how I live,
and how I'd hope everyone else lives.
Live!
The fact that they don't.
and how I'd hope everyone else lives.
Live!
The fact that they don't.
Is, number one, when you land, you don't immediately stand up.
No!
Chill the fuck out. It's like, you all have to wait at the fucking conveyor belt for your bag anyway.
Yeah.
Relax.
Relax.
Number two, don't put your seat back.
No. I don't think you't put your seat back.
No.
I don't think you can put your seat back.
No.
And I've seen fierce debate about this online.
No.
Because whenever I see something about people putting their seat back,
I'm like, everyone's like, well, then just put your seat back. And I'm like, that is just, it's just not going to work.
Because if one person isn't doing it, then it's just not going to happen.
And I would rather die than see the expression on the person's face
who's right behind me with a seat fucking head a foot from their face.
It's just, it needs to be phased out as a feature on those chairs.
The seat back, maybe, maybe, maybe on like an 18-hour flight,
you can put your seat back when everyone's decided and if the person behind you
has also got their seat back.
It's like if it's nap time for all 800 passengers
and all 800 are going reclined, maybe.
Maybe then.
But as soon as the first one pops up, everyone pop up.
Yeah.
Because it's just, listen, I know we all don't want to be
on a plane right now.
We'd rather be lying flat.
Yeah.
But if you are-
We all want to be in Ibiza.
We were all heading on our trip to Ibiza.
So that, and then I think what that woman did, despite the fact that this other woman was saying that that woman was allowed to have the window open.
Yeah.
If the social good is telling you that it's dark in the cabin,
then you have to respect that.
You can't open it up and disturb everyone.
You have to kind of give, like just chill it down.
The third thing, you can do a little bit,
but you can't do like really active sighing and glares at crying babies.
You have to just like let it go and know that that parent is having the worst day of their life.
It is worse for them than it is for you.
Yes.
Just like when I'm like crossing a road and like someone has to like maybe slow down a touch to to stop and make sure they don't run me over yeah like
i can guarantee in your car you're getting to where you're going faster than i am so just
fucking shut up just chill it down relax yeah no i agree yeah i agree yeah i think it's like
that the the baby stuff yeah and then no super loud conversations no yeah oh and i i just like
the relationship with food and the plane and like having it and then, you've got the tray and then you're stuck with the tray
and the tray has all the rubbish on it and there's just so much rubbish
and, like, then you have to, like, pass it over
and then, like, they've ordered another wine for some reason
from a plastic cup and you're like, is that really?
Is this the party time that you dreamed of?
Like, can't you just have nothing and just,
let's just all have nothing and just sit in silence.
You know, I was on a plane this week on my holiday and I was thinking, wouldn't it be good if it was just like a tube that came down and just like.
Serve to a drink.
Yeah, just like drink from a little tube, like kind of like the oxygen mask, but just.
Like a hamster cage.
Yeah.
That would actually be amazing.
Yeah, you just have a mental pole in front of you that has a little ball in it
that just allows liquid to flow through when you suckle on it.
That would be nice.
And you could press a button and be like, oh, I want some lemonade now.
I want some wine now.
Just give me my wine tube.
No, I think it would be a tube that you pulled down,
like a nice long plastic tube, a little, like a straw,
like a nice straw.
And, like, how do you stop that from dripping on you?
Well, you've got to drink until it's finished.
Oh, so once you've engaged the tube, you're just stuck there like,
and the little stream.
I accidentally ordered a double.
It has a valve.
I don't know the mechanics of this tube.
Well, you're the one trying to pitch the tube.
I just thought it would be better than all of that kind of fluffing around with the car.
I like it.
The trolley.
Should our meals come, you know, blended through the tube?
Because maybe.
Maybe the tube.
And there shouldn't be three seats.
There should only be two seats.
Two seats is great.
Imagine if it was all just two seats.
Do you know what I'd love?
Two seats.
Wait, am I crazy?
But you know on train carriages how they have the seats facing each other?
Yeah.
That would be nice.
That would be nice on a plane.
You know.
You could have a little table in between.
Yeah.
Yeah, the little table.
Sometimes on like Shinkansen they have the little table.
And even when I got the train under the ocean from London to Paris,
that had a table and I was sat opposite a French lady.
And I was like, do you mind if I put my laptop on the table?
And she was like, you don't need to ask my permission.
I was like, okay. So, you my permission i was like okay so you know
it could be fun little interactions like that but in the sky i can't believe that woman killed you
yeah she took my skin i'm actually her right now you don't need to ask my permission
you stupid stupid. I was like, I'm sorry. I've never ridden a train.
Do they have trains where you're from?
That's so nice.
Yeah, we really want more interactions like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think.
Well.
Window seat all the way.
I think it's window seat.
Window seat?
Window, what?
Yeah.
Window? Because you get to look out at the clouds. I think it's window seat. Window seat? Window, what? Yeah. Window?
Because you get to look out at the clouds.
Okay, well, I'm not that.
I just like the little nest you're able to create between you and the wall.
Oh, no.
I want aisle.
I will kill myself.
If you don't get aisle.
Well, no, just joking.
Sorry, she was admitting.
I just, last year I did all my travel, right?
I got it all out of the way
But I just
You saw everything
I was so
That park?
Could have seen Mona Lisa, but no, I went to some random park
Walked everywhere
I did walk everywhere
Why is everyone laughing?
Sorry, someone said I can't believe it's not better anyway i remember being so like anxious about the flight because i'm six foot three
and it's just like uncomfortable yeah and the last time I flew long haul was like excruciating.
And, but I like got like Valium or whatever,
which like I've now learned two is the amount that I will take.
Not just one.
Oh, that's good.
But on the flight, the first first flight it was like 13 hours and i had the aisle
seat which i am just like forever grateful for because when we entered night mode i was able to
like stretch my legs into the aisle yeah because i can't stretch my legs otherwise because they're
too long yeah so like that is and also like i can
get up if i need and anyway i just like have this vivid memory of like being there with like my
stupid little eye mask on and just like it being like but like it being stuck to my face because
i was just like sweating no i just had like i was just like silently sobbing
tears because i was just so anxious and uncomfortable and like i had to take the mask
off because it was like stuck to my skin because of the water from all the tears because I was just so fucking uncomfortable and just like...
Why is your life so hard?
But on the way back, the flight was half empty
and I got three seats to myself
and that was the most incredible flight of my life.
Yeah.
So, you know, never...
So that's to say you want three seats.
What I'm actually trying to say is-
You want all three.
The birds were right.
And those two lovebirds shouldn't have been in a cage.
Yeah.
Because it's not very nice to not be able to stretch out.
Yeah.
I just, I didn't, I actually didn't know the details.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Your eye mask being stuck to your-
It's pretty depressing, isn't it?
That's so- You just told me to run. That's like you putting your laptop under your mattress.
Every time I hear a little new detail about your inner life,
I'm like, wait, is she depressed?
Are you okay?
I was just very tall, you know.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm six foot.
And I think that I have now for the first time
started feeling really uncomfortable on flights
because they're getting smaller.
Especially in full drag as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With my knee padding on.
But like it's kind of getting to the,
and I can't imagine those three extra inches like.
I'm sure you can.
Yeah. Those three extra inches, like, I'm sure you can.
But, like, that, because, like, yeah,
they're starting to really push it now if I'm getting affected.
Also, like, when I get into, like, cars or whatever,
like friends' cars, and they're like, oh, put the seat back,
because they can see that I'm cramped.
I'm like... An ocean.
Yeah.
I said friends' cars.
I'm like, I live my life in, like, machines that are too small for me.
Like, I'm fine.
Even killing?
Yes.
Like, the bus and the tram and the what, like...
Trams are too small for you.
Like, if you were on seat behind seat, not that they're really...
You know what I mean.
But it's like, I'm like, I'm fine.
Like, my knees are always up around...
If you're tall and big, it's, yeah, it's hard.
Yeah.
What?
Like an old-fashioned train.
Zelda, we need to figure this out.
Because you just said a very depressing thing.
What?
It's okay.
You don't need to make me comfortable.
I spend my life being uncomfortable.
My state of being is uncomfortable, so why change it now?
Yeah.
I can't hope for a better thing.
Don't fuss, okay? It's like, I'm fine. I can't hope for a better thing. I'm like, don't fuss, okay?
It's like, I'm fine.
I can be cramped in the front seat of the car.
I don't want to push it back and then your next person has to pull it forward.
Yeah, Lord forbid the next person has to adjust their seat.
You should just keep it exactly how the next person needs it.
Yeah.
So that they don't have to do anything.
Anyway.
Also, the passenger seat doesn't need to be forward.
I think it should be aisle seat.
Yeah.
For those reasons.
Yeah.
But I am sad about that because I'm so tantalized by the window seat.
I think if I'm with friends, window seat.
If I'm with strangers, aisle seat.
That's the thing.
I usually travel with people yeah because
legally i'm not allowed to travel i'm a baby yeah like when we went to perth or whatever yeah it's
like it's so much easier and more understanding to be like oh my god i'm so sorry i need to go
to the bathroom or whatever yeah oh totally yeah and also like uh you can lean on your friends
yes and make a little like, nest all together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Except, you know what, when I was going to America, going to Mexico,
Kurjan was, like, obsessed with holding my hand,
and he's obsessed with holding hands.
No one.
Terrible.
Cute.
I hate how sweaty they get.
I just.
Covered in tears.
His hand gets tear stuck to my hand.
No, but I just like, and then, yeah, he was like,
we've got to hold hands for when the flight goes.
I know he's listening to this now.
He's now dying.
And he knows that I just, the hand holding is too much.
Oh, my God.
It's too sweaty.
Yeah.
If there's another way of showing affection, I'll do that one instead.
Imagine being loved.
Just tie each other's sleeves together.
Do you and Liz hold hands?
The other day when we were on holiday
i was pushing the pram with one hand and i reached out and grabbed her hand with the other hand
and she was like she's like oh i was like what she's like i just haven't held your hand in so
long love. Matt! Because we're just so focused
on... The baby. Baby.
She was like, who are you?
She's like, yeah.
But now, it's quite cute.
Our one-year-olds just started reaching
out from the pram to hold
our hand, so we just put out
one finger.
She just holds our finger while we walk.
It's quite cute.'s cute oh good so
you don't have to solve the issue of holding each other's hands because the baby's there
well if you're listening to this maybe hold hands
try it i think it's nice i like holding hands i always think of like that episode of the simpsons
where like you'll think we're holding hands we're merely exchanging long protein strands if you know another way um but yeah do you
prefer holding hands like cup cup on cup if i'm gonna hold hands we're gonna waffle waffle waffle
the finger interlock yeah yeah oh god that. What? The waffling.
Well, because, yeah.
No, the other hand.
That's why you're getting sweaty, though.
Well, that's probably why, because I like the, but then you're like,
if I was falling off a building and I was Mary Jane, then I would survive.
I'd bring you with me.
Exactly.
Waffling.
Ooh, or like when eagles fight in the air and they interlock their feet
Talons
Yeah
Oh, so scary
Anyway, what was the theme?
When they spin around
Plane seat, yeah
Yeah
What if you had like the exit row?
Oh
You get a little bit of extra room
Can I say the flight attendants coming up to the people being like,
do you feel ready to save everyone on this plane if you need to?
You're like, what?
I'm just trying to, like, enjoy my life.
Sorry, if everyone here dies and we're in a plane crash,
will you be able to find the door?
No.
I don't know what I'm like in that situation.
I just nod.
I just go, hmm. Yeah. Knowing that situation. I just nod. I just go.
Yeah.
Yep.
Knowing that I'm probably just like me the first one.
Imagine saying no.
Oh, no.
Can I move?
I don't think I can do that.
No, because at that point, the choice is move to a more cramped seat
or just lie and say, yes, I'll help everyone.
You're all going to die anyway.
But imagine if when you do say no, they're like, great,
and then they just kill you or push you out the door.
If you can't help us, we can't help you.
Does anyone else think that we need a man like this amongst us?
A man who would not save any of you?
Wooza, waza, wooza, waza.
Get him off the plane.
Yeah.
But also, talking about which seat, what about, like, the flight attendant seat that's near that?
That little folded phone.
Near the phone.
And it's, like, in plain sight, and they have, like, little crisscross, and they're like, I'm looking straight ahead.
Oh, they wouldn't look.
I'm not going to look at all of you.
I'm actually at work right'm not gonna look at all of you sorry I'm actually
at work right now
do you know what
I'm sitting
while I'm being told to sit
and I will
just let you know
that
we're going in for landing
yeah
I'm always sad
that like
cause the
airline
attendants
are like
the stars
of the show
but the pilot
gets the last line and kinda gets to open and close the show
and i'm like you haven't been with us the whole time you're just kind of popping in at the end
to be like victory lap yeah take credit i guess the the flight attendants do get to be like
bye bye bye yeah bye bye thank you see you thank so much. And then you say thank you. Yeah, you say thank you.
Why do you say thank you?
I hate that they check our tickets as well when you get on the plane
because it's like B5, it's down there.
And I'm like, yeah, I know I can count.
Some people might have trouble on the plane.
Well, where else is it going to be?
Yeah, but.
Down there.
Everyone's as competent as you, Lazy. on the planes. Where else is it going to be? Down there.
Everyone's as competent as you, Lazy.
It's one straight line with letters and everything up there.
What about when you get to your seat and someone's sitting in it?
And it's like because it's ABC and then like the next three on the other side.
And you're looking at the picture and you don't understand.
Yeah, that happened to us on the way up.
What did you do?
You said, get the fuck out of my seat.
When we were booking the tickets.
No, we were in the wrong.
Oh, when we were booking the tickets.
That's you.
My partner wanted the aisle because she thought having a one-year-old
might be easier in the aisle to like walk around a bit.
Yeah.
Great seat.
Or if we need to change a nappy or whatever.
Where do you change a nappy?
Oh, they have the little.
It's in the toilet.
It's so cramped.
It's crazy.
I've done it once.
But then we got to our seats and she just went straight for the window seat
because I think she thought she can create that little bubble,
that little nest there.
Yeah.
And then.
Did you buy three seats or two seats?
Bubble nest.
Two.
We had, well, under two or under three, I think, they sit on your lap.
Under two, I think, they sit on your lap still.
Like Britney Spears style.
Yes.
And so she just went straight in the window seat.
And then this old lady came up and she was like Oh, I'm sitting, you know
Sorry, old bag
Doesn't look like it, does it?
Looks like I'm sitting here
My partner's face was like, just shock
She was like, oh no
This is so nice
My plan's ruined
But the lady was like, it's fine, you can sit there
She didn't mind
You never get that from Zelda.
She'd be like, get out, crone.
Take your baby with you.
What?
Yeah.
Me?
Yeah.
Well, if you were in the aisle.
Yeah.
No, you were just telling the story about when other people are in your seat
and you say, get the fuck out.
Oh, right.
I did say that.
What if they have a baby?
What?
Me? No, I'd never say that. What if they have a baby? What? Me?
No, I'd never do that.
Guys, let's go to the cinema after this and someone's in our reserve seat.
Yeah.
I do hate that.
I hate that.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
But, yeah, okay.
So, also.
Oh.
Sorry.
I'm just thinking about that.
It kind of got me stressed out.
I think there's a lot in this conversation that's got me stressed out.
Like Matt and his wife not holding hands anymore.
Yeah, Matt.
We all held hands on that holiday.
We did it.
Your eye mask being like tears stuck to your face
and your laptop's under your fucking bed,
but it can't be on the table on the train.
I'm like, this is just so stressful.
You people are just so filled with anxieties.
But you as well, you were saying you couldn't possibly.
Yeah, you couldn't get your arm rest.
Couldn't put the seat back.
You're right, that is the same.
I'm sure you were crying a little bit.
Cry about later.
Sorry, Katy Perry. Well, I think it should be window seat with a with a little bit of leg room you get exit row window seat exit row window seat and then zelda's happy and you get to look out the window
because you know what in all honesty you can be brave i find myself more uncomfortable with more
leg room because i'm not used to that i prefer suffering
to be like resting my knees up on the thing because then at least that's what i know do you
sleep like on the tray table you know how yes i do that oh like people have taught you only with
friends i couldn't do that next to a stranger honey it's I don't exist. I don't have like an ego on planes.
Like, do you know what I mean?
Like, I don't, like, I can look like just the most crazy person as long as I can rest.
Like I, except when I wake up and be like, like I was snoring or there's like drool coming
out of my mouth.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think plane trips are like whatever goes.
Whatever goes.
Whatever you need to get through.
Yeah.
No judgment.
Like if you want to create like a little like jacket tent over your head
and like lie in that, then you go ahead.
As long as it's not, as we said, disturbing other people.
Yeah.
If it looks crazy, that's fine.
Oh, yeah.
But, yeah. it's not as we said disturbing other people yeah if it looks crazy that's fine oh yeah but yeah i'm pressing play at the same time with your friend yeah that's fine
i love looking at what people are watching oh my god i love it when there's like a really intense
sex scene like yeah sorry this should have been cut out of the plane version yeah well i would
agree with you, Matt.
I think you have a good point there, but I would like to say that, Zelda,
you also have a good point with that foldy-down chair that none of us have ever been able to sit in.
I'm really intrigued by that foldy-down five-tension chair.
They also get a sash belt.
Yes.
Because it goes across both.
Yeah.
Because we just get the little lap belt.
And I do think, though, that it needs to have a corded phone nearby on the wall.
That's the whole appeal.
Yeah.
Because also, you know, they're not talking into it to hear,
so they have the phone at an angle to just be chicly, like,
talking into the receiver.
I love that.
It's kind of funny that they made them phone-shaped instead of just a microphone.
Yeah.
What do you think about flight attendants that are too, like,
performance-y?
Like, in their performance of the safety thing, they're like,
hey, you divas and dolls.
Well, now they just have prerecorded ones.
Yeah.
And they just kind of do the motions.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a bit sad, I think.
They have robbed us of, like, a lot of the fun, quirky motions. Yeah. Yeah, it's a bit sad, I think. They have robbed us of like a lot of the fun, quirky personalities.
But it doesn't matter if this is your first time flying
or if you've flown with us before.
Please give us your attention.
Because we have different exits.
Yeah, it actually could be different now.
It could be smoky in here.
And this aircraft might be a different model.
So if you could just please pay attention.
This is actually
can i say i was flying and i got on the plane i was so tired i'd been like i don't think i'd slept
the night before got on the plane immediately as i sat down fell asleep then i get this like
firm prod in my side and this woman is like can you wake up it's a safety demonstration
and i'm like she attended yeah she's an attendant next to you no she was from the aisle and i was
like oh yeah sorry sorry sorry and i don't know why i was apologizing because i was like who cares
shut up anyway so i'm like trying to keep my eyes open during the safety demonstration, which is now, yeah, a fucking stupid long video that's like doing three things at once
because you know how everyone's going to make them like zany and creative now.
They have to be like prestige.
Yeah, like cinematic.
Yes.
Anyway, so then she's like, and then I fall asleep again in the middle of the video
and she comes over again and wakes me up
at the end and i was like oh great video great video and she was like yeah bitch and i was like
yeah no it was really good i loved it that's great yeah okay so secret service flight attendant seat
yes hold down and do you know what's good about that?
Yeah.
Is that it's very in keeping with the Murphy bed aesthetic.
True.
We only need it when we need it.
You can put it at the end of the bed.
At the end of the row.
No, you put it on the backside of the Murphy bed.
So you could be sitting in it and then someone gets folded on the chair
and you fall off.
You've got a sash belt.
It's fine.
Yeah. You're strung up belt. It's fine. Yeah.
It was strung up beneath someone's Murphy bed.
Ooh, I like it.
Does the phone, like, hook up to the speaker system?
Well, I think it does have an intercom link with the big prawn.
With the big prawn.
Oprah might send that flight attendant some secret little messages and updates.
Because I think it's too much to expect Oprah to really like do every
announcement.
The whole event.
This is a good opportunity for some support for her.
Yeah.
Cool.
Just safety demonstrations.
Gorgeous.
And like important announcements.
For your bunker safety.
Please do not run in the holes.
You know what I hate as well?
Sorry
You know what I also strongly dislike?
Is when all the bins above my seat are full of luggage
And you can't put your own bag above?
Yeah
How is that possible?
Because people think that a small suitcase is hand luggage
I'm sorry, if you're not carrying with your hands
If it's being pushed by wheels, it's not hand luggage.
It's wheel luggage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
They should open up those bins for like extra seating,
like a little lie down bin.
Like Mr Bean.
Yeah, that would be so good in there.
You just lie down.
Go into your crypt.
If you could do a whole flight lying down in one of those bins
Would you prefer that?
100%
No, I would die
I would actually kill myself
Like you're fully laid out
Wrapped in a little compartment
With like a TV screen
You don't have to move
Yeah, you just have your tablet or something
I don't know how I'd deal in that confined space
I need to stretch myself You're already stretched You're fully elongated No, but I don't know how I'd deal in that confined space. I need to stretch myself out.
You're already stretched. You're fully elongated.
No, but I can't do this.
She's putting her arms out like an airplane.
Yeah. Ironically, I wouldn't be able
to do that on the airplane.
But you could put them all the way down to your toes.
No, because you couldn't crouch over.
Yeah, you'd have a little bit of headroom.
I imagine. I mean, a tunnel.
Yeah, it's like a tunnel.
No, no, no, no, no, no'd have a little bit of headroom. I imagine. I mean, a tunnel. Yeah, it's like a tunnel.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Anyway, flat attendant seat.
Congratulations.
You've made it in.
And that tiny little phone.
Ooh, that phone.
It's kind of like a, like a aged beige.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But shiny still.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
And smooth.
Yes.
Really clunky.
Oof.
Yes.
Old fashioned. Hollow plastic.
Okay, that's good. All right, listener. Ciao for now. Bye. Yes. Really clunky. Oof. Yes. Old-fashioned. Hollow plastic. Okay, that's good.
All right, listener.
Ciao for now.
Bye.
Welcome back, everyone.
And now for our third topic of discussion tonight.
Oh, wait. No, I dropped something.
Okay, the third topic tonight is to celebrate the launch of...
It's a woman's world and we're lucky to be living in it.
Katy Perry's new music video, Woman's World,
marking the beginning of her new era.
Will it be a success?
We don't know, but for Zelda Moon, of course it is.
Zelda, do you want to tell us quickly just about what this music video is like?
It is incredible.
Katie's body is banging in the video.
She's very teeny tiny.
She's very teeny tiny.
Markably, two parts of her aren't so teeny tiny in the video
they're feeded quite quite she got big
yeah what does she got big tatas oh
you think they're new no she's always had big tatas But Is that something people say?
What?
Is that?
Don't be afraid of starting something new
Yeah
She got big tits
People say it now
Tatas
Cans
And can jugs
Oh no
Anyway
She does
And they're featured quite heavily So uh trisha paydases yes but it
kind of like goes through a few different scenes of course but it's a quick song it is two minutes
and 43 seconds that's radio play honey that's an asia buffet spot number yeah that's really but
the music video does have a bit of an extended cut because there's some, you know, fun little interstitials and stuff.
But it starts off with her, you know, incredibly working, you know, as a miscellaneous tradesperson.
She's being Rosie the Riveter vibes.
Yes.
Sexy confident.
And then she gets crushed by an anvil but don't worry she blows herself back up again
yeah and then gets in a monster truck driven by trisha paytas yeah and they go for a little
drive around town then what happens then she they pull up to a house and she breaks in and then she steals a dancing girl's selfie stick
and is picked up by a helicopter and screams to the crowd,
I'm Katy Perry.
And it might be her finest work yet.
Sadly, listener, we have already discussed
which Katy Perry music video goes in the bunker
and it is on loop in the Shining Bathroom
and it is, of course... W bathroom. And it is of course.
Waking up in Vegas.
Yeah.
You gotta help me.
This also,
this new video doesn't touch waking up in Vegas,
but fear not because you know,
the celestial goddesses find a way.
And this week we'll be discussing what,
which,
which thing from the Katy Perry music video.
It's a woman's world.
Get into the bunker
okay so a few things that seldom is start it begins with katie perry and a group of young
women sitting on a giant tiktok steel beam yeah hung from a. And then they kind of go through a series of products.
And I don't know what the-
I don't like the face roller.
That is stupid.
The idea is I think that they're showing all these products that are designed for women that are like, fuck these kind of thing.
I think that's the tone.
It's like she's like, I don't need a jade face roller.
It's a woman's world.
Because they're like holding up a sign that says it's a woman's world
in a kind of live, laugh, love.
Yeah, and then she throws it away.
She throws it away.
So I think she's trying to say like this is not us.
We're women.
This is our divine feminine.
We're not these products that are marketed to us.
Did she also hold up a sex toy at one point?
Yeah.
It says like 10% off for this.
It's like a clit stim.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
And that feels like an official sponsor.
But then why is she putting it with all the other things that she's throwing away?
And then she like drinks women's whiskey.
She's crazy.
And then she falls off.
And then an anvil falls on her.
And that's when the robot legs are born.
Yeah.
Which is the thing that Zelda didn't mention.
Oh, I didn't talk about the robot legs.
Which is kind of a central motif of the album so far or this era.
Whatever.
Like sexy, confident, it's a woman's world, but she's a cyborg.
And she's got those robot legs, but then she runs out of fuel.
Oh, she has to re-gas.
But it says low battery and then she goes to a fuel stop.
Yeah.
So already I'm confused.
Well, the electronics are run on gas. Is it an EV or is it a battery or goes to a fuel stop yeah so already i'm confused well the electronics are run
on gas is it an ev or is it a battery or is it a fuel is it a gas tank we simply have to get katie
on the pod and then she picks up the fuel nozzle and jams it into the flesh of her ass yeah and it
goes in it really cushions in which i think katie perry does have a very specific sense of humor. Yeah, unfortunately.
And I would say that it's on show very much, yeah.
Yeah.
Why doesn't she stick it in?
God.
Like, why does she stick it in her ass cheek?
Yeah.
Where would you have her stick it?
Perhaps it should be in her asshole.
I don't know. No, it's about getting like bbl like
filling up yeah pumped up that's what you think it's about matt i think so what did you think
it was yeah have you seen the music video she's trying to watching it right now oh i wish i was
watching it right now there's actually a funny part at the start Where they're all at urinal as well Yeah
And she picks the wedgie out of the
She's kind of gyrating
Yeah they're like
Kind of like
I've never seen a guy piss like that
But I guess it's not about that
Well it's a woman's world Matt
Yeah that's right
And you know what
You're actually lucky to be living in it
Yeah
They're kind of like
Wiggly
They're like jiggling their butts around
While they're pissing at the urinal
Because you have to shake the piss off your dick
I don't think anybody's ever done it like that They're like jiggling their butts around while they're pissing at the funeral. Because you have to shake the piss off your dick.
I don't think anybody's ever done it like that.
I think it's funny.
Yeah, we need to kind of quickly go to the fact that this is,
there's a music video called Raise Your Glass by Pink.
And this film clip seems to borrow quite a few cues from that.
Certainly in the like Rosie the Riveter thing.
But what do you make of that, your disdain for one artist doing that and then your love of another doing it?
Listener.
Go on.
Lazy is forever perplexed by why I don't like pink.
It is weird.
You're so similar.
And yet when you messaged similar. When you mess.
And yet when you messaged me earlier this week to pose this question, you didn't deed spell pink P exclamation mark NK.
And then asked why I don't like her.
You love exclamation points.
So there's one in the name of this show.
Yeah,
but not,
I don't,
I just don't like pink.
I don't like pink. I don't like pink.
Because of many reasons, but predominantly, as foretold,
my uncle was in a fucking pink cover band and it ruined my life.
So I don't like pink.
Thankfully, my uncle wasn't in a Katy Perry cover band.
Otherwise, a pink would be in the bunker and a pink music video would be playing in the bathroom and we'd be living in Pink's world.
Ooh, which pink music video?
Ooh, I love that.
You and Your Hand Tonight is really good.
She wears all these different wigs.
Oh, my God.
Anyway.
Also, maybe a lot more.
Party Started?
Ooh, that's a good one.
Oh, my God.
Anyway, and you know that.
Okay, it's a woman's world and you're lucky to be living in it.
You know what I don't like is her tiny little wrench earrings.
Oh, I didn't see that.
Because they're not real.
They're like decorations of a wrench.
You can get wrenches that size.
You can get tiny wrench, but they're not.
They're like bejeweled.
She has a bejeweled hammer.
She has a bejeweled hammer in her ear.
Yeah, all of her tools are bejeweled
How are you possibly using these?
This building will not be up to code
No, they're all going to flake off when you're smashing
I mean the OH&S giant anvil falling on you is pretty bad already
But where did that giant anvil come from?
That's my favourite part
The women dropped it on her Yeah, but why did they create such a giant anvil come from? That's my favorite part The women dropped it on her
Yeah, but why did they create such a gigantic anvil?
That is so good
For the gigantic women
Yes
Like
On the work site
And this very explicit scene where Katy smashes her breasts together
Okay, yeah
I think we probably need to get to this
Because I think the interesting
thing about katie perry's comeback now coming now is that a lot has changed in the world
come back after her failed smile era and the one before that
into obscurity if you were to come back, which hasn't really happened.
To her or to Jennifer Lopez.
Come back.
Come back.
You know, a return like Gandalf when he came back.
Yeah.
You know, but like in a gracious, kind way for humanity.
Yeah.
Gandalf smashing his tits together and being crushed by an anvil.
He almost was.
Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Kind of smashing his tits together and being crushed by an anvil. He almost was, yeah.
Anyway, the issue is there was a kind of hokey pokey corporate feminism
that was what made Katie famous that I just don't think flies anymore
in the current landscape.
And I think that no one's told Katie about a few things
that have changed and shifted in the world of feminism,
including intersectionality and the other ideas of, like,
what are you trying to say about living in a woman's world?
And I don't think she knows, except at the start of the music video they had a men working sign and then a woman's world and i don't think she knows except at the start of the music video they had a men
working sign and then a woman comes in with pink spray paint and write wo in front yeah say women
working yeah because women are taking over working yeah women can work yeah on construction i don't
know if you know but katie knows and i got into this conversation with my dad recently which was a big mistake where he was talking about like how like feminism has failed
because women are not like addressing scantily and i'm like dad that's really fucked women of
course are allowed to dress scantily the point is that women should be able to dress however they want. Yeah. But that's, you know, that's my dad's baggage.
But the issue I think sometimes is that in examples like this
where corporate feminism has the exact same looks, feels,
and aesthetics as exploitative patriarchal use of women
in music videos.
And they kind of are indistinguishable, namely the moment
where Katy Perry's breasts are knocking together in that star bra.
Her knockers be knocking.
And it does feel like, Katy, I don't know what you're trying
to say about it being a woman's world and having these like very like, yeah,
the tits knocking together.
It feels still like there's a bit of a male gaze element to that aesthetic.
So you don't understand why Bayonetta is great.
Well, I just, that was the moment where I was like, this doesn't,
I don't feel like, I mean, listen, please phone in.
But I don't know that I feel like that was the liberation we desire.
Like, Katy Perry is using feminism to sell an image and an album and a moment.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Like it's not a genuine mantra.
No, no, no.
She doesn't understand.
So it's just not that deep.
No, it is not that.
Unfortunately.
It would be great if it were.
But that's what I'm saying is that I think that a lot of the new
femme pop stars are perhaps a little bit more up on it.
Like I would say Charli XCX is a really interesting example
of someone who's like her feminism and femininity,
even though, and like sexuality feels very outside
of a traditional male gaze.
Like it feels like it's for her and like she's not really
particularly interested in it being on anyone else's terms.
And then same with like a Chapel Roan or like, you know, kind of the new wave.
So it just feels like Katie's marketing team for her fake market isn't like, you know, this feel like an ad for like American Idol.
Yeah. Yeah, but it's also, it's interesting because like a part of what I do love about it as a piece of like trash entertainment is that it's so like teenage dream era Katie.
Yes.
But like, you can't pull that identical aesthetic across and use it to be like, no, we're actually reclaiming this.
This thing that's identical to my previous work
don't worry nothing will change for you but yeah we will now have this message but now instead of
it being a corporate you know like machine style yeah sex sells to being like no actually
it's we own it yeah it's like what it's all These are the same things. Yeah. Anyway, but.
No, I mean, like, obviously the bubble gum campery of it is much needed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it is wild that the message underpinning it is like a kind of late photocopied version of 2015 feminism.
Yeah.
When it's like, come on.
Like, a lot of things have happened since then, Katie.
It's time.
Like, let's do it.
But let's talk about which thing we think should get in
and why it should be Trisha Paytas driving a monster truck.
Because, okay, so there's two gigantic,
well, there's a few gigantic things in this video.
But the anvil is the first one, which I'll just say that again.
Because the anvil is pretty great um but truly
that monster truck in the little because i've been very excited about this release listener
i've been literally counting down the days i like i had the youtube notification for like
notify me when it premieres and i was at work and i forced my team to watch it
at 9 a.m and when it was released on the
did they cry as well it was it was a moment of bonding don't look at me don't look at me
um did you put your eye mask on she's too beautiful i can't even perceive it anyway
in the days leading up one of the teasers was just the scene
of the monster truck pulling up in the street, crushing the car.
And I was like, that's so good.
I fucking love it.
So, yeah, I'm down for the monster truck.
Also, like, Trisha pulling the monster truck.
Why is she pulling it at the start?
I don't know.
It obviously works.
We're about to drive it.
Yeah, maybe Katie.
And they ran out of gas.
Oh, man.
Oh, my God.
Thank God you're here.
So, Trisha drives her to a suburban house and then there's a woman who's doing dishes.
Ugh.
She shouldn't have to do that.
Is that what it's saying?
It's a woman's world.
But, like, I'm like, Katie, do you...
Because Katie then walks through their patio window.
This destroys this girl's life.
So good.
Also, why did the woman have, like, who are you pre-mowed into her lawn?
It doesn't make much sense.
That's the one thing that doesn't make much sense to me.
But I love that then this, like, dancer guy who, Who like also I'm absolutely learning that stupid dance
Oh yeah they got the TikTok dance
Who are you?
Yeah well so Katie takes her ring light
Which is also conveniently the woman sign
And then
Did you notice that?
Pretty subtle
The girl is like
Wait who are you?
And she's like
Bye
She gets on a helicopter
That has KP written on the side and holds onto the side,
holding the woman's symbol lit up and with the woman's phone still on it.
And everyone's like, who are you?
And as we pick up and lift off,
we could see that in the back lawn is mode the phrase, who are you?
And to kick off the beginning of the new era, Katie says,
I'm Katie Perry!
But you forgot about that there's also an old lady on a mobility scooter.
Yes, with the flames.
With a flamethrower coming out.
She's wearing a leopard skin dress.
I kind of think that whatever apocalypse that we've been talking about
on this show for the year,, the year, it's probably,
it looks a lot like this.
Yes.
Because this world, like the woman's world doesn't seem
to be going very well.
There's a whole scene in the street as well where like-
Everything's on fire.
And everything's getting destroyed.
Everything's getting destroyed.
Why are the gay guys making a-
Fucking lamest butt grab.
Some Uber Eats delivery drivers having a little makeout session in the street.
And a woman climbing a pole.
But there's also just two women just playing chess in the gutter, like right next to that.
And then like a-
Yeah, Matt, women can actually do anything.
Virgin Saint Mary.
Super Prego.
Yeah.
I hated the gays.
Generally or in the music video?
In this music video.
I just didn't need that.
Katie was doing that for you.
Yeah, I know.
But that's like, don't do it for me.
What do you want instead?
Oh, I have two lesbians.
I have two lesbians.
Yeah.
Because it's a woman's world.
Yeah.
Also, like, I hate those fucking little, like, I'm going out outfits.
Two floral outfits.
Are you wearing the same thing?
Maybe she's saying that just the men in the world are just gay.
Yeah.
That's the only man allowed.
It's a woman's world.
So, yeah.
Trisha Paytas in an orange.
Also, the monster truck is so cool because the
proportions of the wheels gigantic but also like so many monster truck designs have like
hellish teeth and evil eyes and like branding and you know like rare written on the side. But this is just orange.
No, it's more like toned down.
I really like that.
Finally bringing a demure style to monster trucks.
Yes.
What we've all been waiting for.
Yeah, because you don't need to really like dress up a monster truck.
Or just like matte beige and then giant whales.
Yeah.
That's the future.
Okay, well, good for you, Trisha.
That's so weird. Why Trisha? Because she's got pool on the future. Okay. Well, good for you, Trisha. That's so weird.
Why Trisha?
Because she's got pool on the internet.
I guess.
Does she?
Oh, baby.
Still?
Yes.
I haven't watched Trisha in so long.
You act as if you're not watching her play a bar wench on TikTok.
I'm too busy watching Nick Bingo's brother fuck some guy.
Welcome, weary traveler.
Come into my tavern. Have you not seen this? Welcome, weary traveler. Come into my tavern.
What?
Have you not seen this?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my.
Okay, I'll show you later.
But it's incredible.
Trisha has, and she just had a new kid, Elvis.
Oh, you did tell me this.
Yeah.
People love Trisha again.
She's out of Dramageddon.
The world has, like, let her return to civilized society.
She's shaken off the Jeffrey and the, the uh oh my god what's his you know the other one yeah ryland and james charles no
shane dawson shane dawson drama yeah yeah and now it's trisha's world and we're just living in it
incredible and david dobrik nowhere to be seen because he's trapped on Snapchat Okay
Well, what a week
What a week
It's a woman's bunker and you're lucky to be living in it
Okay, so the disc that is getting in is
The Chakram, held by Zina Lucidolis
And the seat from a plane that is getting in is...
The flight attendant's seat that folds up, folds down,
and does have a convenient corded phone nearby.
Connected to the Oprah office.
Yeah.
And then the thing from the Katy Perry It's a Woman's World music video
that's getting in is Trisha Paytas in a giant monster truck.
Oh, that's so good.
Yeah. Not going to be able to truck. Oh, that's so good. Yeah.
Not going to be able to go very far, but there it is.
It's a woman's world and you're lucky to live it.
Also, I mean, Katie's already in the bunker,
so the two of them are just going to have such a fun time.
Oh, they did not spend, they spent one hour together.
Katie made small chit-chat and then,
I don't think she's very capable conversationalist.
Katie Perry, absolutely not. I think she's kind capable conversationalist. Katy Perry, absolutely not.
I think she's kind of been struggling in the bunker, to be honest.
Yes.
Well, she's missing Orlando and her baby.
She said that she's going to meet her baby in every lifetime
in the interview I saw.
Americans must be stumped.
And she's Christian.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
No, she said, I might not see Orlando again,
but I'll definitely see my baby in every lifetime.
Do you feel that, Matt?
Do you get resurrected as a Christian?
Katie does.
I thought you just went to one of the two.
Yeah, if you're a citizen, you go to one of the two places.
If you're Jesus, you get brought back.
If you're Katy Perry.
But only for four days.
That sucks.
Anyway, okay.
Four days.
Three days.
Three?
It was three now?
Yes.
It's always been three.
They downgraded.
Oh, my God.
Shit.
Jesus, three days.
You're the son of God.
You only get three extra days.
What are you doing with three days?
It's so valuable.
Not much.
And then he didn't die, but he just went to heaven.
Sorry, bitch, you died.
Sorry, but like, you died.
Oh, my God.
Jesus was like, then he ascended to heaven.
Thank you so much for joining us this week.
Sorry, anything else?
Jesus died a second time and no one's talking about it.
We can't wait to see you again next week.
Dasha.
Goodbye.
Death Day Around was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears.
Our theme song and music was provided by E.T. Centric and Angus Leslie.
If you've got something to say to us or a little fanfic, send it to deathdayaroundpod at gmail.com.
That reminds me, I haven't been reading all the emails we've been getting.
Anyway, if you'd like to support us, please do so at patreon.com.
Say hi to everyone.
Ciao.
Bye-bye.