Death To Everyone - Death To... Language, Movie Food & The Golden Globes Gift Bag

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

This week the girls dive into the essentials: What will they take from the Golden Globes Gift Bag, What will everyone be speaking after the apocalypse and what food from the world of cinema will we all be eating after the end of times? Death To Everyone!!! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 Hello! Hello, sister. How are you? Well, Zelda Moon, I'm doing well. Oh, that's good. No, I'm not doing well. Oh my god Welcome to Death to Everyone

It's a podcast about the end of the world Yeah But the world ending is not the problem today Oh I don't know, I just feel kind of glum Glum It's the start of the year and everyone gets to go back to school Except for you

Except for me Yeah I hate being a self-starter At the start of something new yeah because i don't know where to find that energy right now well i did have to tell you later earlier today the day of the week yes because you're just existing in a you know like a drop in the ocean of time to know yeah i don't know what's happening and i don't know why and i do want to like it gives me this like low hum like

when i have a project yes when i have my mind set and when when everything last year felt like it was like i'd worked like for half the year and then the other half of the year i was like now i'm free yeah and then i was like on vacation and then the other half of the year i was like now i'm free yeah and then i was like on vacation and then i was doing other stuff now i'm like i feel unemployed you are unemployed yes but i feel it for the first time in forever so i am not liking that back to school feeling i'm hoping that it passes but that i mean it should pass because you have things i have things to do it's just like and like there's actual things that i need to do yeah like things that i should be working on right now yeah and so i don't

know why i'm feeling this way i think it's just you know the back of school we've got to snap you out of it yeah snap me out of it this is good actually yeah yeah this is practical we're making something and what are we making here today's other moon well here we are episode three of the new year in space of course we're in this list to avoid uh we are going to decide some best of the best and we're going to preserve them for the future of, you know, all kind. Yes. Yeah. And, you know, every year as the, you know, clock strikes 12 on a new year and we all start the new year, it does make the apocalypse feel closer than ever.

You know, you kind of go into that deep, I don't know, like an existential vortex about the world. Don't you think? Like in August, no one's thinking about the end of the world, but January is like, wow. You know? I think most people feel hopeful at the start of the new year. Do they? Like fresh start.

I still have a gym membership. Isn't that fun? That's fun. But I'm scared to go to the gym right now. was not fun. That's fun. But I'm scared to go to the gym right now. Oh, you can't go now. If I go to the gym now, they'll be like, oh, there's that guy. I'll see you for three days. They're like, well, it's true, but we don't need to acknowledge that.

So I'm going to go tomorrow. Okay. And they'll be like, oh, no, I just go all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not because of January or anything. No, no, no. I actually haven't seen you here before. Yeah, sorry, I just go all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not because of January or anything. No, no, no. I actually haven't seen you here before. Yeah, sorry, are you new?

Yeah. I can show you where the... Say one thing that's in a gym. Where the kettlebells are. Kettlebell. Kettlebell. Yeah, I can show you where those are. Oh, God.

There is so much equipment in that gym that I don't know how to use. And it's scary. It's scary. Why is it so scary? I think... For some't know how to use. And it's scary. It's scary. Why is it so scary? For some people it isn't. And I hate those people. How do they feel in there? I don't know.

Do you know what really pissed me off? Go on. I was at the gym. This doesn't happen often. But when I go, I always get a story. I make it worth it. When I was at the gym, I like lay down my little gym mat and this woman came over to me and there was like limited space because it was like peak hour at the gym so there's like a little

bit of floor space we can lay out a yoga mat and do some stretches you know and then just do some like you know get the medicine ball do a little you know what is it sit up yep sitting up is hard enough once darling i'm not gonna do it 25 times but um and why is it called a medicine bowl ain't fixing me now this woman this old like sinewy like oh like old fit yeah yeah i know i know. Sinewy fit lady comes over and she's like, you can't put that there. And I'm like, this is my actual nightmare. Yeah. Of being in this space. The unspoken gym rules.

I don't know them. Yeah. And she was like, because then people can't get to the mat. And I was like, well, obvious, like the mats that are hung on the wall. And I was like, I get that. But like, I'm looking around and the only other place I can go is in a thoroughfare. So I'm like the lesser of two evils is like if someone needs to get a mat, they can go around me a little bit or I can just stop what I'm doing

for a second versus being in like every single person in the gym's way. And she was like, no, you have to go here because that's, you're not going to be in the way of the mats. And I was like, okay, madam. But you're not going to be in the way of the mats. And I was like, okay, madam. And then she promptly picked up one and put it in the spot where mine was going to be. For you?

No, for her. Wow. She was, like, big dogging me. There's no room in that gym for you. Yeah. She was actually saying, no, a little bit further. Tell us in the parking lot with the little gym mat. She's like, keep going, bitch. Back to the dumpster gym for you. Yeah. She was actually, no, a little bit further. Till I was in the parking lot with the little gym mat. Just like, keep going, bitch.

Back to the dumpster where you belong. Yeah. No, it was a lot. Wow. I know. Nightmare. Okay. So have you considered a part-time job?

Well, I am thinking. I think that's a bad idea. I think you actually have too much on. Yeah. Okay. So here's the thing I want to do this year. I want to do a lot more drag which is like the bookings are coming yeah but i do get stressed out when i

have to do like um what is it um like a performance performances yeah lip sync yeah yeah even though i just did my kelly clarkson mix i know at Baby Drag. And baby, when I tell you, it's like. I saw her video. That whole room was lit on fire. Yeah. Rediscovering the magic of Kelly Clarkson. Because the whole bit, listener, is that I'll do like a whole build up. Originally born of like an actual story.

But in this case, I just make something up. And I'm like, I was talking to a friend. And they said that Kelly Clarkson is one hit wonder and i can't believe it so if we can do an experiment with us here then i'm gonna do all these like kelly clarkson songs and then if you know the words you can sing along just to prove to this friend so you've added like an emotional impetus to this whole thing that we're going to prove that kelly clarkson exists yeah and the way that these like drunken galleys went off trying to prove that kelly clarkson exists yeah it was very good anyway how are you what's happening with you i'm quite good i also have gigs coming up if you believe which I'm quite excited for.

I'm officially like done moving house. And I've like... It only took two months. I know. But it's like, I needed to get that like done before I could like do the next thing, which was like return to performing. So now I'm feeling quite inspired, actually.

We also need to queue up doing a live Death to Everyone. Yes. Which will be very fun. I think that will be very fun. Send us a little message on Instagram if you would come to that. Yeah, we need to figure out whether we need to book out the MCG or Marvel Stadium or Margaret Court Arena. I think it would be very chic to do it at Margaret Court.

Yes. Just to be like, fuck you, Margaret Court, you homophobic bitch. Ms. Court. Yeah. Play tennis elsewhere tonight. We're recording a podcast. I would like to do it at the Forum, though, because it has gargoyles. We need to just get you a set that you can bring around with you.

I would, yeah. Oh, Zelda's performing here. There's gargoyles out front. But you know, I'm quite good. I have been doing a lot of gardening in the new house which i'm really excited about um and so it's really interesting content to listen to i'm sure the sand plant's growing yeah but um that's been taking up a lot of my spare time which has been just fine with me um yeah but quite good good. I do want to just, I have two things to say.

One is we've not yet received any bunker fan fiction. Boo. And I would really, really like to get that off the ground and into your ears. So please send us your bunker fan fiction. I don't mind if it's a haiku. A couple of paragraphs. Yeah. What do you think?

I mean, you could even send an illustration of Oprah Winfrey drinking a strawberry thick shake. That would be great. And then we can put that onto the TikTok. TikTok. Yeah, we could do that. We could do that. We have technology.

Anyway, go on. Anyway, we've received two emails since we last read the emails. Sorry, I mean, we've received 2,000 emails. I'm just going to pick the best two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Took a long time to read them all. Well, we actually don't even have time to read them all.

But these are the ones that are selected by Matt. Yeah. And I'd like to read it to you now. This is from Anne. Anne Hogg. Dear Mrs. Moon and and susan it's lazy by the way yeah i know but she knows that i take umbrage at the mischaracterization of grain waves as some sort of new kid on the block when they were in fact invented in 1989 1990 in New Zealand, where they remain a beloved snack, faithfully yours, Anne.

Anne, thank you so much for bringing that to our attention. I didn't realize that. And I don't really have anything sassy to say about it because God bless you for bringing us one of your great exports. Yeah. You can give us that and keep that fucking wretched banana chewy shit that you have. Oh, they love that. Ugh.

Mm. This is, of course, in reference to the chip episode. Also, Anne didn't say New Zealand. She said the real word for it. Aotearoa? Yeah. I'm too scared to say it. I don't know how to say it.

Well. You say. I did just then. Say it again. And I can't say it again. No, I want to learn. We're being vulnerable. I don't know.

I'm sorry, everyone. I'll do better. And the next email today is from Teresa Problem. Oh. Have you seen this? No. Oh. Drag icon, Teresa Problem.

Teresa Problem has titled the email, Teresa for Bunker. Oh. Am I in the bunker? And what's my purpose in the bunker? Also, can my mum, Mother Teresa, slash Meta, be in the bunker, please? I propose my mother, me, and mum become a bestie girl group like Baba. Baba. If we wanted Baba, we'd have Baba Teresa.

That is a good question. So, I'm going to have to say Mother Teresa for sure. Yes. She's fabulous. A brilliant energy. So, for context, a couple of years ago when like Beastie Girls were, you know. A thing. A thing.

Teresa was underage and used to come to our gigs accompanied by their mother. Because, you know, that's how you got in or whatever. Also like to be safe. And it was fabulous. also like to be safe and it was fabulous and i feel like we saw her mother go from being like the bored mom at the concert who's like well i guess and i'm so glad i came to see placebo with you or whatever um to them being like i love this yeah and to the extent that you know theresa's mom ended up coming to see us without teresa which is fabulous so yes and that way i think um mother teresa will be in teresa problem okay quick little story that i heard

recently about the biodome that they made in just out of san fran in the desert this hippie oh not the sphere it is it's like a sphere no not the sphere not the sphere that will devour us all um no so this the bunch of hippies made this like um dome like ecosphere which was meant to be like locked away and like completely sealed off and they were going to live in there for two years and like live off the the food that they grew in the ecosphere. And the, like they had like a sea area with coral. They had like a rainforest. They had an oceanarium?

They had an oceanarium. Oh my God. They had a rainforest. They had a desert landscape. Anyway, so they seal them in and then like things start going wrong. Like, and they've got all these different species of animals in there. It's like till the soil, like cockroaches. And then they start to suffocate in there because there was none of air because the plants couldn't grab any CO2 because the concrete was absorbing all the CO2.

And so they didn't have anything to convert into oxygen. They had a really hard time growing things. The rainforest area wasn't separated from from the desert area so the desert area became a big like marshy area anyway they didn't have a master that's probably good it was good to find a march and then like the blue algae there was algae blooms in the the oceanarium i do be like that i do be like uh because of the amount of animal shit yeah yeah you need a lot of live plants in there to balance it out then when they finished off they found that there was a bunch of species of animals and like things that they hadn't brought in that became like the victors so there was like a type of vine that took over and

became like the queen vine of the biosphere and they had to spend all day just trimming her back yeah and then there was like an ant they're like how did the fuck did this ant get in we brought in eight species of ant and this is a completely separate one. So those ants like became the boss bitch, like that gym mat lady. And then telling all those other ants they can't put their mats down here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, all of this to say is Teresa problem is those ants in the Melbourne drag scene.

Like you're like Teresa is just booked. Yeah. Teresa is booked at a gig that the people didn't even know they were throwing. And then Teresa's there like, I'm doing a spot. And then, like, so Teresa is the most, like, even if we didn't put Teresa in the bunker, Teresa's in the bunker is what I'm saying.

Got you. Yes. So that's my feeling is that Teresa would find a way to get booked in the bunker. Yeah. Yeah. And then that's my feeling is that theresa would find a way to get booked in the bunker yeah yeah and then as for mom we'll discuss mom later yes mom's time okay uh melba drag queen mom for those of you listening at home including mom good um okay yeah i think it's time to end it all yes whose turn is it i'll just say it's my turn okay because i have one that's gonna to be simple, easy, and amazing. Okay, good.

The sphere. Oh. The Las Vegas sphere. Ah. It becomes sentient. And it rolls, rolls, rolls. Keeps rolling, rolling. And it shows a happy face, smiling.

Like that particular one. Humming to itself. Yeah. As it crushes everyone and then it rolls over like it's like a katamari yeah it doesn't get bigger though okay but it does but you two is inside oh tumblr like the corpses of youtube yeah are they the only ones who have done like that special show yeah they do it every second night and do you know how much it costs like 500 for the cheapest seat what yeah i mean that's vegas but that's vegas baby and then on the other night they

had that short film by darren aronofsky filmed on 72k cameras when will it end i don't know soon that's what i'm saying the ball's gonna crush no anyway so yeah that just rolls rules and then rolls into like nuclear reactors and they explode but the ball keeps going when um the ball is crossing the ocean does it sink like a hippo and walk across the bottom or does it float on top no No, I like that. Goes across the bottom. Yeah. Oh, so it hits the bottom of the Mariana Trench. Maybe. Okay. That's good. Yeah.

But the bodies inside are like floating around. Just the band of U2. Yeah, the band of U2. Does it flood or is it watertight? I can't imagine that it's watertight. It's filled with water. But then when it comes on land, it goes whoosh. And water like drowns all the people in the coastal cities yeah because of the yeah amount of water okay anyway that's quite good yeah the globe i appreciate this giant sized apocalypse

my first giant size apocalypse and i'm very excited to be here amazing yeah all right fabulous yeah shall we have a quick break and then be back with our first topic for today? See you all in a second. Don't get rolled over by the globe. And we're back. Hello. My leg did too. Well, my leg did. Up for discussion. Oh, yes. I've got to leave this back. Hello. My leg day two. My leg day.

Up for discussion. Oh, yes. I've got to lead this one. Okay. Up for discussion tonight. So at time of recording, last night was the Golden Globe Awards in Los Angeles. A-woo-ba. In America.

Now, the thing that always fascinated me about award shows as a child, outside of the prestige, watching people who are at the top of their field, coming to their moment. You as a six-year-old glued to the TV like, I just love the prestige I see here. I do love the prestige. Look at her. She's having her moment. And she looks ravishing. Yeah. is the gift bag that they give to all of the announcers who announce the awards,

so all the celebrities who have been invited to announce awards, and then all the people that win awards, which this year included VCA graduate Elizabeth Debicki. Elizabeth Debicki went to VCA drama school and graduated the year that I arrived, so I saw her in her graduating play. And then she promptly went off and was in like Guardians of the Galaxy and The Night Watchman.

And then now she's in The Crown playing Princess Diana. Wait, who was she in Guardians of the Galaxy? The gold girl. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Old gold girl. Yeah. Because she was immediately cast out of school in The Great Gatsby. And she's very tall.

She's six foot four. She's tall, tall. And she's like very regal. Anyway, she was obviously always meant to be. Diana. But now thinking about her today, waking up in her like gorgeous home or like her gorgeous suite at the Chateau Marmont, and she's got her gift bag, and she's looking through it.

And she doesn't know that the globe is currently rolling across North America in her direction, but we must now decide out of these gift bag what we want to bring in. Hang on. So for those of us that grew up playing with Jurassic Park toys instead of watching the Golden Globes, what's the gift bag? So you get the gift bag. Everyone who goes.

No, everyone who announces an award or wins an award gets the gift bag. So if you step foot on stage, you get a gift bag. So like giant luxury brands will put stuff in the gift bag because if a celebrity is seen then using your product or going on your vacation or whatever, it's worth its weight in gold. So you like spend, you give them a $50,000 watch and it costs you one $50,000 watch. But then the free marketing of that person eventually using it. But celebrities hate it because they end up with a lot of crap. Not all of them.

Apparently Jack Black was seen like an event with five gift bags and he's like, look, it's free! Which I would be. That would be me. I can guarantee it. I can guarantee. But so they have a new system with the gift bags. And next to each one of these gifts in the gift bag,

they would say how many people can opt in to that gift. Okay? So some gifts are given to every single one of the people in all of the gift bags. And some gifts you have to go and they like have 10 available. So the first 10 celebrities that put in for it will get the gift. So if Oprah was number 11, they'd be like, sorry, Oprah. Yeah. Back to the bunker with you.

Should have gotten it in a little bit sooner. Wow. Yeah. So we have to decide which of these gifts from the gift bag at the Golden Globes in 2024 gets in. But there's some of them which are just not valid straight out the gate, but I'll just get them off. Can I just say first that my favorite thing about the Golden Globes this year,

of which I've barely engaged with. It's sad that the Golden Globes, while they're all about to get smushed by a giant video globe the irony was lost on no one well yeah um was some of the runways like the little outfits um but i don't know like i've seen a few and then i was like that's enough of this however i discovered one of the photographer women's who i haven't seen i don't know if there's footage of her yet but she i think this was big for itself I mean all of the videos of like the outfits like all the celebs on the red carpet it's just this

woman screaming please please look right ahead smile She, I'm hiring that woman. Oh, my God. To be the woman that screams that the globe is coming to crush every state. Like, please, it's a giant globe. It's got the corpses of Bono inside and the edge. Look back. Look back. She wasn't listening.

Anyway. Welcome to the globe. Okay okay now what's in this bag thing so a lifestyle magazine called rob report which i've never heard of because i'm designed what was in the bag so here we go travel and experiences we're just going to glaze over real quick because we can't have traveling experiences in the bunker. Okay, so you can go to Apaye Dal Busie. You can go to Mabusi. For a two-night stay in Burgundy, France, that goes to everyone. It's worth $2,200. Snow affairs, I'm not doing that.

Elizabeth won't be doing that. Celestia Fenisi Yacht, five-day, four-night luxury yacht charter in Indonesia, worth $50,000 and all 83 recipients can go. I'm not going on a boat. 83 people. That's everyone who received one last night. A bag.

A bag. They can't just give 83. Everyone should get it. Everyone's getting that. I thought you were going to say like 250. Well, darling, that's $50,000. What's 83 times $50,000? Well, no one knows the answer to that.

That's impossible to know. Flock Hill Lodge, all-inclusive stay in New Zealand for two people, $15,000, up to three recipients. Three. Three recipients? Only three. Honey, if you can't afford it, don't put it out there. Don't. Like, what is it?

My house, one recipient, and only if it's this person? Yeah. Four Seasons Resort, Putamita and naviva um a four seasons resort full luxury experience fifteen thousand dollars all 53 recipients can get it laborde estate stay with golf experience two thousand dollars up to 15 recipients i love that new zealand has been the cheap out so far yeah they're trying lissard estate two nights stay in ireland 2200 everyone can go the ritz-carlton grand canyon oh cayman i thought they were putting them next to the grand canyon which is the only thing that will be spared from the globe five day all-inclusive

luxury experience including transportation yacht experience experience, $20,000, but everyone gets it. Rob report car of the year, two drive spots for a total of four guests, $28,000, one recipient. I don't know what that is. Two drive spots? Two drive spots. What does that mean? What does that mean? Seabird Ocean Resort, three night stay in SoCal with private surf lessons and custom surfboard, $6,500 for everyone.

Did you know that a certain species of albatross is the biggest bird on Earth? The wingspan is three meters. And are they surfing? That's like two of me next to each other. So the brightly pandering West Hollywood one-year membership to a private social club, $3,000 value. Everyone gets it. And Exo, complimentary membership with 10K of flight credits, $11,000 value, up to 10 recipients.

So we can't have any of that. No. Because, honey, although it is tempting to just transport that whole lodge. Ooh, a lodge. Yeah. Well, tell me more about the seabird. But no, let's move on. Oh, that's lodge. Ooh, a lodge. Yeah. Well, tell me more about the seabird. But no, let's move on. Oh, that's where you got your stupid seabird thing.

Seabird Ocean Resort. Okay. I didn't know what was going to trigger you. Okay. Food and beverage. Here we go. Caviar Rousse, a central collection of gold oestra, which I assume is just caviar.

I mean, we should talk about this one day like restaurants and stuff but i hate fine dining so i'm already annoyed by that first option you don't want to taste just a little bit of something and then a little bit something else with foam on it no i want to taste a lot of one thing that's delicious preferably carbonara without bacon well that's on here they actually just put the carbonara in the bag. Shailene Woodley reached her hand in and it got all icky. Don't worry. Distillery de Monaco.

Oh, gin. $275 a bottle. Honey. I'm not lugging that around. A tequila, Camus tequila. $2,000 value, though though and only three recipients i want that just to say no one else gets it yeah yeah well if i'm getting these prizes out of spite then i'm more interested yeah they also gave a 500 bottle of their cheaper tequila to everyone

um the most expensive the world's most expensive wine liber pate six bottles to one recipient the value of which is 193 000 almost 200 000 these six bottles but like things are only worth what people are going to pay for them you know well if it's free it's now the cheapest bottle of wine in the world six for free all i had to do was win a golden globe honey they're a dime a dozen razza private class with one of america's greatest pizza leos pizza yeah okay i have to make my own give me pizza bitch where's the domino's gift voucher and then the rob report culinary master's full weekend experience for four guests twenty five thousand dollars one recipient okay no so keep that in your mind okay as we go into apparel and beauty oh hang on how'd you get

this list the internet oh okay it's not like a secret. No, they put it on the website. It's meant to be like part of the advertising. Oh, okay. 1-1-1 skin black diamond retinol cream, $250 value, all 83 recipients. Well, yeah, girl. I've got one of those at home. I actually do. 1-1-1 skin rose gold radiance face mask, $35 value, 83 recipients. Yeah.

I gave one of those to my sister-in-law for christmas atelier eva a tattoo session with celebrity tattoo artist 2500 maybe she can help benefit wait what it's just a like tattoo session but 2500 with like a very expensive tattoo artist is probably like one session is it like cool fine like line art or something? I don't know. That's falling out of vogue now because the lines get all blurred. They do? Yeah, over time.

Well, that wasn't what was advertised. Biologic Spa. Choice of bespoke facial or body treatment and skin analysis. $600. $600 to be told what's wrong with my skin? Yeah. Okay. It's Scientology all over again.

You come in there like, bad. Buy this. Kumi X Muzo Colombian Emerald Earrings, valued at $70,000. One recipient. That's hot. If you're doing one recipient though, get the fuck out. Well. Current body, LED face mask, face mask 380 everyone gets it

joanna jeck the kit skincare essentials 1250 up to 25 recipients pure gold radiance nocturnal balm for embalming your victims opie way bespoke custom-made sneakers worth $1,500. Wait, how much is the embalming fluid? Oh, $1,100. Okay. Rosano Ferretti, hair spa treatment and blowout. Americans are obsessed with blowouts. Yeah.

Are we obsessed with blowouts? I think some people are. Again, people with money. ST DuPont, Le Grand DuPont lighter. A lighter worth $1,600 with 10 recipients. A lighter? A lighter. That's cool.

Once you've embalmed, then you can light them on fire. And then Zenith, watch and manufacture experience worth $15,000. Up to two recipients. Zelda Moon. Yeah. We've completed the list. That's the end? I know.

That's the unfortunate thing. This is what kind of like, when I was young, I was like, free things in a bag. But then it's like, what? There was nothing of substance. Like, there's nothing you can eat in the cab on the way home. No. A little cookie. I'd love a little cookie.

Or like, a cupcake. Expensive cupcake. $3 billion. billion dollars you know like i'd be like oh one of a kind made by my mom um i i like that halfway through you're like i own one of the things in that list wow yeah well we sell them i don't know about that i'm underwhelmed well it's not the academy if you got everything yeah then i'd be like well that's pretty good but like the secret bidding to be given a 250 but maybe like maybe you get a certain amount of like slots like if you take one you can't have another thing you can't those things where it's like you can you've got 10 points and you can pick either you know yeah what are you

getting five points and then jubilee is three points so how many x-men do you get in this diagram see now you've lost me okay also just something like the idea of having to go on these vacations can i tell you i want the earrings well like in my head they're like have a gold clasp and then like a big fuck off beautiful emerald kind of dangling do you have a photo of it i don't it's colombian emerald earrings by kumi x muso so let's let's have a look because that does sound good but i don't think they'd be clip-ons, my dear. Yeah. It probably would be strange to have $75,000 in like those five cent AliExpress clip-on add-ons that I have. Oh, you'd like these.

Oh, they're fabulous. That's what I wanted. Okay. And then like we can decorate Carrie Fisher's bones with them. Okay. The earrings. Who does think earrings would be the hit at least that's like a thing jewelry is like a special thing and a memory i got these but like if you

even if you because they will remind you of the golden globes i won these when i won the golden globes yeah i'm giving them but if you went on like a trip to new zealand that cost 15 grand you would remember the trip to new zealand not the golden globes what if you went on like a trip to new zealand that cost 15 grand you would remember the trip to new zealand not the golden globes what if you took the golden globe with you what's better academy award or oscars they're the same wait what's the one we're talking about the golden i just don't care about these things um why is academy awards better than this one so this one is very this is the worst one that you can get. And it's because it's not a real award.

It's decided upon by 45, it's decided upon by the Foreign Journalists Association, which is just 45 foreign men. And it's only in America? I think that, no, because the Crown got nominated. No, so you can be nominated for many. And it's TV and movies? Yes. Both?

Yes, and it's the Critics Association. So, like, they're just these rich guys and, like, what they decide on is just, like, random and they bribe people to come and hang out with them. So did the live action One Piece Netflix adaptation get anything? I don't think it got anything from anyone ever. I just have never been that interested in all this stuff have you ever like watched it like sat down and watched the whole thing yeah it's fine it's also the only awards show where you're allowed to have food and beverages at your

table well that's responsible drinking whereas at other awards shows like the academy awards you're not allowed to drink and you're not allowed to eat during the show. And if you stand up to go to the bathroom, they have to bring in a seat filler to sit in your seat. Yes. So it gets stricter as the awards season goes on. But these celebrities are most like at ease and drunk at the Golden Globes because it's like a chill night. And like you can get a bit loose because it doesn't matter.

A bit loose. Huh. Yeah. So when Nico and the house house boys went to the game awards this year yeah yeah it's a four hour long experience and you're just sitting there and when you get up to go to the bathroom or anything they have to like replace you with other people and you can't you're just like starving even at the game awards yeah that's fabulous it's insane i want to go to the Game Awards.

I don't think you do. But I want to be like famous gamer drag queen, but not in a painful way, in a cool way. In a way that all those guys will suddenly love. Yeah. Imagine trying to be the famous gamer drag queen. I see them out there and I think, no, thank you. It's also just like the level of vitriol that you would receive.

Like the gay community is hard enough on drag queens can i say on that okay just to talk about like the mcu for a moment the the marvel cinema marvel cinematic universe go on tomorrow echo comes out right echo is a character who okay lazy susan's looking at me like perplexed and angry because she doesn't know what i'm talking about. Echoes are for caves, darling, not for cinemas. Echo is a character from like Daredevil comics. She is like the adopted daughter of Kingpin,

who is like the Daredevil villain. She was introduced in Hawkeye. What is happening? A year and a half ago. Is it a movie? It's a five episode drop all in the same day of Disney Plus TV show show but like those daredevil series is really beloved by the community as in like and when i say the community i mean like the dude bros who comment on shit on social media yeah like i have never in my life commented on like anything yeah like

so there are people out there who enjoy the content or dislike the content and just say nothing. Yeah. But it's a social media thing, right? Oh. But watching the vitriol that has come out on every single post. Because of women? Yeah.

And it's like, this character has been around. She's just one of the characters. Yeah. The show is about her. Just reading the comments, I kind of expect them on something like The Marvels because like that movie is for a certain audience. And like it did, like I saw it and I enjoyed it,

but it was like three women. Yeah. It's like acknowledging the existence of women and the importance of feminism. Yeah. Which is like, how dare you. Yeah. It's like acknowledging the existence of women and the importance of feminism, which is like, how dare you? Yeah.

We've already had enough taken from us. And it's like, it's just not about that. But the only thing that will satisfy them is like white men versus white men. That's it. And it has to be Robert De Niro or whatever. Yeah.

Well, that's why we're going to put them all in a convention centre and then I'm going to say, Globy, and then the globe's going to go and just crush them all to death. It's just fucked. To death. Like so many of the comments on all of this stuff is all saying how bad it is and it hasn't come out yet.

No, because fan culture is sick. These people are unwell and they need to be crushed by a giant Vegas globe filled with the corpses of you too because you too will die. Okay, so what thing do you want in the bunker from this gift bag? Okay, I think that we're going to run out of food at some point. So what I'm looking for is Pure Gold radiance nocturnal balm by la prairie they can eat it yeah yeah if you're gonna eat makeup to sustain yourself what makeup would you eat cream contour stick that does look delicious yeah it's also chubbier than a lipstick

yeah yeah yeah like it's got grease in it so it's certainly got a fat content yeah like an oil yeah yeah there's something like quite disgusting about like pumping foundation down your throat guzzling i won't be doing that pump foundation yeah foundation's too expensive but i do want to try that whipped foundation that looks delicious. Okay. Yeah. Well, la prairie. Oh, you think that. And the earrings. And the earrings. Yeah.

I think we should put both in. Yeah. Well, one to eat and one to eat with. The earrings are a utensil. That's true. Yeah. They're quite pointy, listener at home. Yes.

Fabulous. I believe it was the earrings in the conservatory. Okay. Wait, conservatory? We don't have a conservatory. We have a library, though. Yeah, maybe we earrings in the conservatory. Okay. Wait, conservatory? We don't have a conservatory. We have a library, though. Yeah, maybe we should have a conservatory. Which plant gets in the bunker?

Okay, we'll be right back. Goodbye. Welcome back, everyone. Welcome back, Suleng Yorto. You're all looking so cute today. Did you have a snack? I didn't. I had, you know when we did your photo shoot the other week? Yes.

And there was those snacks. Yeah. Some of them ended up at my house. And I had one on the weekend. And, dear listener, I don't know the last time when you had a snack, but I had one on the weekend and when i scooped out the last bit of cheese it cleanly came out of that thing like there was no remnants that's unusual is that unusual that is because i found it quite unusual unnerving yeah

i was like what is the consistency of this choose? That it can like seal. So the snack, for those of you who don't know, it's French for the snack. And it's a small container of plastic. And one side has, so imagine two split indents. Like a Chobani flip. Everyone's familiar. A Chobani flip or a yogurt. Yeah.

And it's got cheese, like a liquid cheese, that yeah and it's got cheese like a liquid cheese that's kind of like mixed between like a liquid and a solid yeah it's a paste or a spreadable cream cheese not a cream cheese exactly more yellow and then on the other side is about five three it's not three it's three it's not three my what it's not three wow My, what? It's not three. Wow. Okay. It can't be three. Hello, this is Lazy Susan from the future. It's three. Five, like, pepper-infused crackers that are, like, kind of buttery and melt in your mouth.

It's delicious. It's quite good. It's got a little cow mascot. I love that, like, cow. Baby Belle. Yeah, too bad Baby Belle is disgusting. It's got a little cow mascot. I love that cow, baby bell. Yeah, too bad baby bell is disgusting. It's not great. That's the food that I eat because of the logo. And I love the wax.

The experience can't be beat. Everything should be dipped in wax. Okay. Okay, so speaking of food, the challenge we have now set in front of us for what is going in the bunker is what kind of movie food, film food, delicacies from the cinema get into the bunker. People food. Chewing food. Yeah. But which food that has only ever existed in a fictional space will we be attempting to bring into the real space? Yeah, cinematic food. Yeah. Just quickly, saying that reminded me of that awful movie

that we watched about food. I fucking hated that movie. Oh, the menu. What was it? Oh, that was so awful. With all the bug eyes. Yeah, bug eyes was in it well you know she flies around she just lands in front of a camera lens um i hated that movie i hated that movie

hated it god what a waste of everyone's time what a way to imagine judith light having to be there on set doing that no No, that's fucking foul. It's just like, you're not the girl you think you are. And I feel embarrassed for everyone. Bug eyes? No, the film. Oh, the film. Yeah.

But that too. Ball's coming. Look over here. It's a ball. It's a giant globe. Look back. Hello. And she would be trying to get into the bunker.

Hello, please. Let me into the bunker. The ball is coming now. Let the earrings in. They are not a living, breathing human being. I have a life. I have memories. She's never getting into the bunker.

No, but she is kind of weirdly surviving. Do I see a strawberry thick shake? That is my favorite. I would love to come in. I could work at Reject Shop. I love the bait bus. I have my license. I am an ally.

I often describe myself as plus. Okay. What are some of your favorite dishes served up? I really, like, I'm like, I do have, you know, like, I do like the, you know, that really stringy cartoon pizza that, like, they have in Ninja Turtles. Oh. That's really good. What about the pizza from Roseanne Intro?

Roseanne Intro, that giant floppy pizza? Yeah. But then I was looking the other day for a recipe that, like, satiated my desire to eat this thing, and it's the bugs they eat in The Emperor's New Groove. What? In The Emperor's New Groove. Yeah.

The best Disney film. They, like, Kuzco and his friend Pacha go to a small cafe in the middle of the Amazon rainforest. And then they go in and it's like a diner and they get some big bugs and they tap it with the bamboo straw and then it flops open and it's got green, like yellow goo inside that you can suck up with a straw. And then the shell can be snapped apart and it's crunchy. I see.

That looks good. That looks really fucking good. Is it, how big is it? Is it one suck? Well, he does, like Pacha does it in one suck, but he's like a big guy with quite an appetite. But I would say it's about the size of like two of your heads. Two of my heads?

Yeah. Oh, that's a lot. How big is this bug? It's a big bug. Oh, it's a lot. How big is this bug? It's a big bug. Oh, it's like gigantic. Yeah. I don't like that. I was going to say the jello on the spoon in Jurassic Park.

Does that count? I mean, you could say that. Yeah. It doesn't mean it's going in. Okay, well. Jello on the spoon in Jurassic Park. And a shake shake. You know when the kids get back to the business?

In the second one? No. Oh. Haven't they already done that with the water? Do you know what the water glass with the ripples in it? When they go back to the, oh, I just thought of another one. And the kids are like, what? Yeah, because she sees the shadow move on the mural.

That's great. And I also love in Jurassic Park the whipped cream dispenser can. Is that with Newman from Seinfeld? Yes, yes. And what's he putting the whipped cream on? Well, the whipped cream can is the fake vessel that he steals all the DNA in. Okay. So I like that.

Okay, Matt, what do you think? Oh, I just, I think anything from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory would be good. Okay. That'd be kind of fun. Pick one. Maybe the, was there one where you drank something and then you started flying around? Yes, of course.

We remember the lemonade room. The lemonade room. And then they had that propeller at the top. Yeah, that's so good. They're like, drink up, darling. Get chopped to pieces. Yeah. Yes, that's good.

I always feel like my body would just stop at the blade of the giant fan. Just get trapped there. Well, you know, Grandpa Joe had a jacket on. You'd know this, you played him. He had a jacket on, so you could have just taken off that jacket and used that to jam up the fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the chocolate river.

Well, the chocolate river, where are we putting that in the bunker? It could just flow through the main room. The main room? What room is that, man? But if you've played a video game ever before in your life, you know there's a button nearby to turn off that fan so you can safely pass through. You know?

Every fan. You just have to put all the blocks in the right order. Correct. Okay. Oh, you know what I like is when, like, they do, like, fucked up gluttony shit. Like, obviously, like, Matilda, the Bruce Bogtrotter cake. Mm-hmm. Which looks so.

Sorry, she came back for a second there. Wait, give me a little hit of her. Well, I was trying to find that food account, and, of course, this came up, and I, you know, it's just. This way, this way, fuck. him up and i you know it's just oh my god okay so but yeah all of that stuff but in the movie kazam which is with Shaquille O'Neal, the basketball player, who's a genie, not Sinbad, honey, the boy makes a wish because he's like, I want a burger.

And then giant Big Macs fall from the sky and they flop down on him. And I think that that's maybe not de delectable but i don't know that we set that as a parameter but like imagine if there was a room in the bunker where it just rained those burgers and they slapped down on you like big like greasy disgusting like patties of meat like hitting gwyneth polcho and she has to run through there to get to the bathroom. Wow. Yeah. That's fun. That is fun.

It's fun to watch. You're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You know? That with Carrie Bradshaw, oh. Oh, my God. She would have an outfit that she wears for that room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and the heels. There'd be, like, the stiletto stepping through there.

Oh, yeah, when she. Yeah. Have you seen Sex and the City? What? Have you seen the show, like all of it? Yeah. Okay. The bit where she goes over to Mr. Big's house and he's moving to France and she like brings

a burger. Like she, and she, she's wearing a beret and she's like, here I have French fries and le Big Mac. And then he's like, no, thank thank you carrie i think you should leave and she's like i'm such a fucking idiot and then she throws the big mac and it splats on the wall and then she's like i walked across town wearing a fucking beret i'm like oh she would love the burger room. That's all. I recently, that's just kind of reminding me,

I was watching like Billy on the Street on the weekend. And there's this one with Julianne Moore where they're walking through like New York and they walk up to the woman and they're like, pay Julianne Moore $1 and she'll act for you. And then she starts this monologue that's like you fucking arsehole and she like she does it so well and this woman's just like oh my god that's so good it's great we should get julianne in one day julianne moore might be the only celebrity that would do this podcast i meant into the bunk car but she might into the celestial void with her

oh but yeah um just to call back here, Matt, the only correct answer for all of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory is where he like sips the little tea out of the like flower that's also a candy. And they're all those like disgusting kids and their parents like running around touching all this shit. And he's just sitting there amongst the flowers and having like a little classy tea and then bites the cup at the end,

which is so good. Yeah, that's quite fun. Or the lickable wallpaper. Yeah. That's cool. They should get that. I'm pretty sure Kronk makes something else as well in Emperor's New Groove, like some little puffs, spinch puffs.

Yeah, he's making his puffs for Yzma. They might be delicious. We don't even know. What about the soup Nazi? No soup for you. That does sound good. Or top of the muffin to you. Oh, yeah, that would be fun.

That's also a gorgeous muffin. Yeah. What about in Spy Kids where they put the little meal pack into the microwave and they turn it on and the full meal appears? I haven't seen Spy Kids. That would save a lot of space. Have you not seen Spy Kids? No.

Spy Kids is so good save a lot of space. Have you not seen Spy Kids? No. Spy Kids is so good. It's so good. Yeah, it's like one of the greatest films ever. Yeah, the villain who turns out not to really be a villain. Is Elijah Wood in that? No. He is in one of them. Yeah, he is.

He just like comes into like, I think it's in like the fourth one or something, like a really bad one. Is he in a child form at that point or as an adult? He's he's kind of an adult but yeah he just shows up at the end of the movie and just dies straight away i know that and so funny most importantly megan trainer's husband isn't it who's megan trainer's husband juni from spy kids oh okay anyway uncle machete and uncle machete danny treeho so good and then um there's giant thumb people that are made out of thumbs yeah they're called the thumb thumbs and they live on floops island floop runs a kids tv show with his thumb thumb he's being kept there

hey you said it was a good movie and the thumb thumbs are bodyguards and they come and arrest people and imagine they have two legs that are thumbs two arms that are thumbs and heads that Wait, you said it was a good movie? And the thumb-thumbs are bodyguards, and they come and arrest people. And imagine they have two legs that are thumbs, two arms that are thumbs, and heads that are thumbs, but they're man-sized. Wait, I now don't know if you're joking or not. They're thumb-thumbs. Wait, is that really in the movie? You've got to watch the movie.

Is that in the movie? Yeah. Google thumb-thumbs. Aren't they? Isn't Spy Kids fantasy? Yeah. They're Spy Kids, honey. It's based on a true story. Yeah okay i'm looking at an image she's googling thumb thumbs i see she's looking at her phone

real spies only smaller now i'm typing in thumb thumb okay one moment oh my god um okay one moment oh my god i hate this aren't they incredible were they rendered in like what cg cg there's a lot of early cg that's very cheap in it it's great because the third one was 3D. Yeah. Spy Kids 3D. Yeah. It was so good. Oh, my God. Okay.

And they're like reaching into the screen. Cool. Yeah. Anyway. Okay, I'm trying to think of other. I feel like I've never seen food in a movie at this point. My mind is blank. Well, we're doing the fucking bugs.

I don't like that. No. I'd much prefer the spinach puffs or whatever they're called also when i've seen people do it online there are people that are like we're making the bugs from emperor's new group because i started googling it because i was like that sounds delicious and then they made it out of get this everyone at home bread and they painted the bread blue toasted it into a bug shape and then put like a cream cheddar cheese like dipping mix in it and i was like well honey if you wanted to do a cob loaf do that on your own fucking time because this is meant to be a bug yeah so i saw another guy do it with a real bug but it's sea bug that's like almost to scale and it looks correct that's cool and he hollowed it out took all the innards and mixed it through and made like a seafood

like mush and put it back into the hollowed out body yeah of the the creature that wants to be alive that is disgusting yeah but i'd like to do with the eggplant i think that that's how you could do it. Oh, in my mind, this is an open. It's been a while since I've seen that movie. It's on its back. Yeah, but it's like an opened dead bug. Yeah.

Gold, perhaps like a Christmas beetle kind of shape. No. And the fluid is, you know, those like Japanese or like Korean like water cakes? Oh, no. It's like that? You couldn't be more wrong. It's that, but it's like a golden color. You couldn't be more wrong. And then you put a straw in, then you sip it out.

Well, that's correct. But it's blue. Blue liquid inside. Blue with yellow liquid. Yellow mush. Blue beetle. Yeah. Yellow mush.

Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Okay. Yellow mush. Yeah. Is he? Yeah. Okay. I like that. Can we serve it on a leaf, like a banana leaf? Yeah. Wait, are there banana trees in the Amazon?

I don't know. Yeah. Yes. Of course there is. Maybe. What do the monkeys eat then, Zelda? Are there monkeys in the Amazon? Darling, have you never seen jumanji in the

jungle you must wait until it's jumanji in south america read one or eight what where is jumanji set it's oh jumanji i thought you were saying jungle book where's jungle books there in the book no jungle book is set some sort of ind Yeah, it's in like India. Yeah. Mowgli. Yeah. Oh, my God. I loved the live action Jungle Book from like the 50s, 60s. It was in color.

I wasn't born yet. Oh, we... I have it. We should... You're sad. There is a woman in that. Good. And I don't have any issue with it, Zelda. There is a woman in that. Good. And I don't have any issue with it, Zelda.

Who I love. It's maybe Mowgli's mother or something. Oh, she's playing a mum. There's only one role for women in Hollywood. Jesus. Anyway, it's so good. Do they eat anything in it? And there's an animatronic snake that swims through there. it's so good. Do they eat anything in it? And there's like an animatronic snake that swims through there. It's so good.

I'm not fucking with that. I love it. We should do phobias. Like what phobia we can stand in the bunker. Because Matt's already been very honest and vulnerable by seeing bugs. And then the week after I said. And then you decide to just put a bug in straight away. The thing to eat.

The one thing to eat in the bunker. Yeah's like you winning you know what if we follow that guy's recipe we can put a little you know like we'll have to cultivate them in the oceanarium so that then when you want to make the dish you yeah yeah i think we're gonna well unless my eggplant idea works i want to try this eggplant thing. What timeline are we doing this? Oh, because I want to... We still have a bit of time because the globe is crossing through America right now. Oh, I see. I'm actually just hearing now.

Jennifer Lawrence has been crushed by a globe. But the globe was doing the giant eyeball effect at the time. I think I actually have a um a correspondent from america straight from america that's our correspondent yeah um it is gonna take a long time to kill everyone with the constantly rolling globe but that's the kind of commitment that I have. Like, it'll just be like, you know, when you sing, like, oh, my God, what's it like? What's the example of like a small ball rolling across a perfectly even zen garden of sand? And you're like waiting till the lines have covered every part of it.

You know, on like Instagram ads. Oh, yeah. When it's got those magnetic balls or like, I don't know, maybe there's a video game of this. You tell me. Well, they're CG, so. Are they CG? Yes.

I thought they existed. No. What? No. You mean those like, yeah, this will help you unwind things. Oh, no, those ones are CG, but there's ones that you can buy that have a magnet underneath. No, I don't know what you're saying.

Oh, well, I'll send it to you and everyone. It's just good. Anyway, it will take a while because it has to like, I don't know how wide the globe is. There's actually currently two. There's one in the UK as well under production because it was like, so they might both start rolling just to speed things up yeah but it might take like 50 years and no one can stop it for the whole no one can stop it rolling it will eventually destroy everything yes what if people start rebuilding

like yeah then I'll crush that oh what if it just swells up the first time to the size of like that's not possible. It could. It's not possible, darling. I mean, how did it become sentient and start rolling around, Robbie? It's a fucking $3 billion globe. Of course it's sentient. Well, there you go. It just started swelling as well. No, it can't.

How? Sentience is possible, but what is... Where are you just generating mass from? As it rolls, it starts to grow. What about the chocolate cake in Matilda? I said that. You said that? I said Bruce Bogtrotter's

cake. I called it by its name. When you say things like... I didn't, you know, just say, oh, you're only known from Matilda. I'd be down for a Roald Dahl thing, I think. I bet you would, buggy. I don't want to have the bug in there.

What about the giant peach? That does look good. That peach does look tasty, but we have no space for it. You know, as well. These people have just escaped a giant rolling globe. Growing up, I did love the hobbit breakfast that they cook in the Two Towers. The apples? No.

Second breakfast. When they're on the road, they like make a breakfast. That's really delicious. Honey salad. Potatoes, boiling the mashrooms to get rid of stew. You know that scene? Okay. It looks delicious.

It's very meaty, but I used to do like vegetarian version. You know, like kind of like camping breakfast. Okay. Camping breakfast? Yeah. You're pretending like you don't know, like I couldn't possibly, you know, like a tomato cut in half, like grilled. What?

I don't know what you're describing. Oh, my God. I just can't. Just the stuff. Oh, my God. Okay. I just can't. Just the stuff from Alice in Wonderland, probably. The little cookies. I'm not talking about that shit. Alice in Wonderland.

But you know what I will talk about? What I always wanted from Mean Girls when she has the Calteen bars. What the fuck is this new movie? The Mean Girls musical. The movie that's out at the moment. The musical. It's an adaptation of the stage musical. But, like, why is it called Mean Girls?

My name is Regina George. Like, it's called the same thing? Well, Talk To Me, the second one, which is going to be called Talk To Me. They're making a second Talk To Me? Yeah. Of course they are. It's being greenlit. And it's called Talk To Me.

Like T-O-O or T-W-O? T-W-O. Yuck. Yeah, it's called Talk To Me. It's so stupid. You're going to be so mad. You're like, have you seen Talk To Me? I've seen Talk To Me, but I haven't seen Talk To Me.

I will. Talk To Me? I've seen Talk To Me, but I haven't seen Talk To Me. Talk To Me! I like aliens because I think that's quite funny. And it's a different word. Yes. So you can say it without sounding crazy. Exactly. But Talk To Me needs to be seen to be believed. Talk To Me Too.

Talk To Me Too. But am I crazy? It's just called Mean Girls. Yeah. That's because they... Okay. So when it was adapted into a musical, right? Yeah.

On Broadway, it was called Mean Girls the musical. Mm-hmm. Then, and that's a piece of shit, by the way. Yeah, okay. For anyone like, it's a bad musical. Bad. Like the songs are bad. The whole thing the way. Yeah, okay. For anyone, like, it's a bad musical. Bad. Like, the songs are bad. The whole thing is bad.

It's bad. Bad. And now that it's being made into a movie musical, because we haven't learned our lessons, and so many people hate musicals and won't go and see musicals, every time a musical like Wonka or Mean Girls comes out. Wonka is a musical? Honey, it's a musical.

What? And they don't advertise it as a is a musical? Honey, it's a musical. What? And they don't advertise it as a musical. I didn't know that. Because there's such a stigma against fucking musicals because homophobia is alive and real. And talking about your emotions is against the interests of the patriarchy, let alone singing about them. So we get these weird things that happen, these aberrations like Mean Girls.

Mean Girls. Sequel to Mean Girls. What about Scream, honey? That was weird. Scream is a musical? What? Oh, my God. There is an off-Broadway version of Scream.

Oh, my God. But no, when they rebooted Scream, they just called it Scream. Oh, I hated that. Yeah. That's why i didn't see it it was it was pretty how are you gonna put those in a dvd shop you know how are we gonna organize this on a shelf yes yeah oh or when halloween it was just called halloween i hated that yeah like oh anyway what are we putting in bug with juice bug with juice or kazam room where the burgers are

falling from the roof i am tantalized by more infrastructure and you know like construction work happening in the bunker i think we jobs we need jobs people need jobs jobs well just you know like if we're building infrastructure it's good it means that there's going to be more construction jobs i think you're going to say something stupid like someone would have to be up the top dropping the burgers, but obviously they would just magically fall from the roof. I was telling them that's not happening. Okay, well, obviously that is what is happening. There's little holes and someone's up there

and it's their job to drop the burgers. That's just what happens in the room. They just fall. Wouldn't you prefer that Mystique has to go up there and unclog the burger hole from once in a while? go up there and unclog the burger hole from once in a while. They spend three hours in the morning frying up burgers for the burger dropping room. But, like, does it have to be a burger?

What if we took that concept and put, like, globs of the bug thing in there instead? So it's the best of both worlds. Okay. Delivery system, kazam. Then bug from Emperor's New Groove made in the style of a crustacean from the oceanarium. Yeah.

And it drops on you. Yeah. Whenever you're trying to go to the bathroom. That's good. And Matt's having a. Every now and then one of those bugs is alive and it crawls its way back to the oceanarium. Yes.

Just trying to go. Okay. When you talk about phob Yes, just trying to go home. Okay. When we talk about phobias, that is my phobia. Like going through the bug room. Yeah, that's right. Well, yeah, I think we put the shining bathroom on the other side of that so you have to go through it. Yeah, I think there has to be an incentive to go through bug room.

You are crawl goddesses. Excellent. Nice save there. All all right we'll be right back okay welcome back everyone Hello It's time for the final question of tonight And this one was submitted by a listener Tom Oh yeah

Tom was recently watching an episode of Charmed The original series, not the remake And in the original series of Charmed Leo, the white lighter Which is kind of like a guardian angel That becomes a recurring character in the show and starts dating Piper. Yeah, guardian angel who fucks you up. And makes babies.

Yeah. And he died in World War I. Yes. The White Lighters are like angels, and they can teleport and do good magic and heal. But they also have a language that they speak up in heaven. And when Tom was watching it, it was like a series of clicks, he said. And he said, I couldn't tell, but it did feel vaguely racist.

Oh, no. But, like, he couldn't tell against you. Yes. And so then that brought him to the question of what language do they speak in the bunker? So now we get to decide what language is going into the bunker. Now, this is definitely a prequel to which race is going into the bunker. Which will one day happen. Oh, my God.

When we get really into, like, conspiracy theories and anti-vaxxing and this whole podcast demographic changes, that when we're gonna get into our like oh my god like what's the ultimate race which uh but for now it's just language yeah which you know still yeah oh well my vote for ultimate race i'm just gonna say like go on it was like like the shi'ar or something who you're like tap out oh yeah alien race that the x-men are friends with uh you prefer aliens okay which doesn't really answer the question but that's how i would get out of that one yeah good one yeah okay so Okay, so language. Okay. What do we think? I always have loved the phonetics, the everything of German. Yes, I do love German. It just, like, it's aggressive, but it can be softly spoken. Do you think the greatest race is German?

Oh, my God. This is dangerous. No. You've always think that that's the best? Oh, my God. This is dangerous. No. You've always think that that's the best. Oh, my God. You've always felt this way. No, my God. Because I know another guy who had an idea.

He wrote a little book about it, actually. So, I've always thought that the best sounding language was... It's French. Urdu. that the best sounding language was um french um um urdu yeah you know famously it's just yeah good good no um yeah german just sounds hot i love it yeah love that um um russian also sounds pretty good like a stern language yeah um what do you do you call german the romantic language it's not a romance language what are the romance languages italian spanish spanish french portuguese uh-huh is that a romance language like colonizer languages well they all have this base in laden right oh well the link i don't know i did study linguistics that's what i wanted to be did you study linguistics when i left when i went to

uni first time around i wanted to be a an interpreter i studied linguistics italian and japanese that's what i wanted like all through high school that That's what I wanted to do. I wanted to be an interpreter. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And then I studied, like I studied, yeah. Japanese? Japanese, Italian. I wanted, what was the third one I was going to do? I think I was going to do German as well.

But it just like, it was, it just wasn't meant to be. It's also very like to work in that industry, you have to be so good. And, like, this is a cop-out on myself and whatever, but, like, learning languages in Australia is hard because it's not part of the culture. Like, being bilingual is not a thing here. Well, not for, like, white Australians. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm just always envious and like just in adoration of people who can speak multiple languages. I just think it is like for every new language you open up millions, if not, you know, like people to talk to. And that's incredible and beautiful. And I just think like the thing I love about language is that you can say something in japanese that you can't say in english yes and there is no translation yeah i like that too the words just mean only yeah a certain thing we don't have a word for yeah

like yiddish or jamaican and i like that kind of and the more that you learn you like untap these things and even if it's not a direct thing it's like it's and it tells you a lot about different cultures yeah and like you also start to understand why people from certain countries speak english a certain way yeah because grammatically like this whole language doesn't have plurals yeah they only speak in the singular this language all the words are gendered and like it just like informs so much and like what is living on this planet if it's not communicating with other people and i just think yeah language is fascinating like endlessly fascinating i think it's funny that

um as far as gendered language goes and this is something like the french and i guess the italians and i guess the spanish um fly is feminine so like when i would be with my like french boyfriend at uni he'd be like look at her and when a fly would come into the room, she's just buzzing around. Oh, my God. I'm like, how do you know that it's a girl? And he'd be like, well, all flies are girls. Also, all gay people say that everything is a girl. Well, that's the thing.

I'm like, the French were ahead of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they were saying, look at her. They're like proto-gay. Yeah. Well, yeah. Right? That's the French way.

But yeah. So, like like that was very funny and like yeah very proto gay he was saying that sort of shit before i was yeah um it was funny because that french boyfriend um he had a weird voice in French that everyone commented on that was weird. And I didn't know that. So I just thought that he sounded normal in France. Yeah. Until when I met one of his friends, he's like, yeah, no, your boyfriend has a weird, funny voice. Wow.

And I was like, oh, I should have been making fun of him. Like it covers all manner of sins when someone's speaking in English as a second language yes you're like i don't know how annoying you are in your own language but now that you like have this kind of additional layer of mystery yes you kind of have become tolerable oh my god um this is a different conversation of course as to what accent yes like languages yeah language like you know what i really don't like is like i think it's fun like i've studied language i very very very poorly speak a tiny bit of some yeah like i

don't it's different with like pronunciation pronunciation is one thing accent is another thing yeah and there is no issue with having an english speaker accent in a foreign language all the other way around yeah like sure you can't avoid it like but also it's like why would you wash that out of someone well but this is not something that i see non-English speakers doing, but English speakers will love to like put the accented flair on when they speak another language. Like, and I, there is nothing I hate more than that phenomena,

for example. So I work in like in retail, right. And we sell fragrances where I work. And there was this one day where there was this guy who worked in a cafe near this particular store I was in a couple of years ago. And he would come in every day and like spray himself before he went to work. One day he came in and he was like,

Oh my God, what did he say? Name and shame. He was like, you know what know what today he was just australian just like nothing um and he was the nothing yeah he comes in he's like hey morning how are you like oh do you think i could try that Le Labo fragrance? It's like... Le Labo. Le Labo. I'm like, yeah, you can try Le Labo. Sure, no worries.

And I'll just fetch the paramedics because you're clearly having a stroke. Like, it's just so... Like, what are you saying? But why? Yeah. Also, it's like Le Labo is from fucking New York, man. Yeah. Like, oh. yeah but why yeah also it's like lalabo is from fucking new york man yeah like oh and then you

have customers who come in and they're like like oh because it's such a thing at the moment there's this like one fragrance like baccarat rouge which is from this like whatever it's like a beautiful fragrance and it's very like hot right now and it's very popular and somehow like a lot of the people that buy it might be a little bit like Bogan. Yeah. Love. But like you have these Bogans come in and like, Oh,

Hey, can I try that? Buckle up. Cruz. Buckle up. Urge. And you're like, can you just like,

you can just say the word. Well, it's like when you go to a cafe and you're like, Oh, can I have a. It's like, no, you can like, yeah. Well, it's like when Australians- Or like you go into a cafe and you're like, oh, can I have a- It's like, no, you can like- Yeah. Oh. It's like, yeah.

But I hate like on the inverse of that when Australians tell Americans to say like, it's Melbourne. So you'll be speaking to an American and they'll be like, so me and Kathy went the other day to Melbourne. And then we had the most amazing- And it's like, I don't need you to drop into an Australian accent for one word. Just say Melbourne. Like that's fine. That's what you're going to do with that word. It's so stupid to be like,

it's Melbourne. Like why? I hate that. Yeah. I think what I would like for the bunker would be oslan oh because i think oslan well number one you've like from my very limited experience you'd love echo the new marvel series that comes out tomorrow oh my god wait is she deaf she's deaf and she has one leg she's deaf and she has one leg yeah and she's friends with has one leg? Yeah. And she's friends with Daredevil?

Yeah. And so they just group all the disabled superheroes together. I forgot that he was blind. She's blind. He's blind. She's deaf. He has one arm. She has one leg.

Oh, my God. Well, when you put it like that, I guess. And they just merge together and become just a normal, able person. Oh, Jesus, Matt. Wow, normal? Jesus, Matt. Okay, wow, wow. You're like Zelda in a neo-Nazi craze.

Oh, my God. What? The timing was poor, but I just meant I like the German language. Okay, anyway. the timing was poor, but I just meant I like the German language. Okay, anyway. The timing was poor. What's a better time for that, Danny? Well, not after I said. I don't know, 80 years ago?

Okay. No, it wasn't. Okay. Okay. So, now that you've brought that up. Now, no, I think, okay, so the Auslan. So my boyfriend does speak a little bit of Auslan. Yeah.

He learned because he had a co-worker who was deaf and like her first language is Auslan. And the thing that he's relayed to me that just confirmed a notion that I already had is that Auslan is the sassiest, cuntiest, rudest group of people. Like people that speak Auslan, it just allows you to be so sassy. And that when you like see someone being sassy in Auslan, it is like the most satisfactory thing you've ever seen

because it's so full body sass, which I enjoy. I think it's like a language that allows itself to really lean in and go for the full body smack down. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah. I don't know what American Sign Language is like, but from the Auslan that I've seen, it's smackdown. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah. I don't know what American Sign Language is like, but from the Auslan that I've seen, it's very cool.

Yeah. And also it lends itself to doing small performances at school because you can build it into your car. Do you enjoy the Auslan interpreter for Beyonce living it up on the little screen? Yeah. No, I like that. I like when we've had Auslan interpreters. Was that person, was it for Rihanna's Super Bowl that she was really into it?

She was having a good time. That was great. And then also like the Auslan, the guy that was faking Auslan, or not Auslan, but American sign language, and he was, like, interpreting, like, real things, and, like, deaf people were like, this guy is not speaking. Oh, for some of the press conferences. Yeah.

Yes, for COVID. Whoa, that is insane. Oh, my God. But, yes, I think for sure. This is a really ignorant question. Yeah, why? Sign languages are not global, correct? No.

And this is something that I learned recently. Well, like I knew that there was like Auslan and I just assumed because it was like you're in like a different space so different things arrive at different times. In Italian it's Itlan. in like a different space so different things arrive at different times in Italian it's it land and so what the reason for that is because it's all sign based um the the way that you describe a house in a place that is like I don't know where houses look one way like with a steeped roof you know what I mean yeah you would maybe sign it differently to how you'd build if it like

your houses look completely different so there's all these like geographical and look based things that just are completely different on different places in the world and that's so cool they're like yeah you have to build different signs obviously for yeah wherever you go i think that's so cool um my vote, unsurprisingly, is for Japanese. Well, we're getting there eventually. Because it is a beautifully written language. Perhaps we could make an alliance between the Germans and the Japanese. What do you think?

Two favourite languages. And the Russians as well. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. We get the Russians in there. Just dictatorship languages only. Okay. Because it's written beautifully.

I was going to say Italian because then that would be the perfect. Axis. Sorry, go on, Zella. Written beautifully. You have three alphabets to choose from. Yeah. Greedy. Yeah.

It also looks the best on signs. Particularly in our futuristic, you know, Blade Runner utopia. Well, there'll be some, you know, elements. Yeah. You know, imagine the reject shop that's written in Japanese. Yeah. That'd be quite cool. That would be cool.

Imagine the reject shop, but imagine the reject shop is written in Japanese. Yeah. Yeah. That would be cool. I do think about that. Well, maybe you have Japanese written. As the written language. And then you sign everything.

Oh, my God. We are all about compromise here today. This is good. This is good. That'd be cool. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah.

Because I like the Japanese written language as well. It's quite artistic. Yeah. Yeah. That's quite fabulous. I'm sure that, again, Japan would have its own sign language. Yeah. Let's have a look.

That we're being ignorant to, but you know what? I can only know so much. Well, that's it. And you've pretty much maxed out, you know, all about echo. Um, so that's enough. Oh my God. I'm just thinking, are there any other, I don't know, on this planet full of different people, are there any other languages that we should grace with a mention?

You know what really annoys me? What? That all computers default to American English. Yeah. That's annoying. Yeah. So, it is Japanese Sign Language, known as JSL. Could you just humor me and look up what Italian Sign Language is called?

Because if it is ITLAN, I'm going to be really pleased with myself. Amuse de la. LIS, because it's Linguia del Signi Italiana. Signi Italiano. Yeah. I just, like, Lazy Susan is, like, really suffering from drag race fatigue at the moment. She hasn't watched anything. And I just finished season three of Italia. Yeah.

And I just really quickly want to say that it is becoming maybe my favorite franchise. Spain, watch out. Because the host, Priscilla, is just really fabulous. Yeah. And doing a very good job at hosting that show. And the Michelle Visage, Chiara Francini, is like, I want to meet this woman one day. Yeah.

Like she is. Well, good thing we're going to Italy. We are. To perform. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they're just incredibly charismatic. Anyway, it's fabulous.

I want us to go and win over all the Italians. We like, it is going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to make it. Okay. Yeah. No, I'll get back on Drag Race once, you know,

I've just lived through my bitter disappointment. Yeah. I'm excited about the new season so we'll see i also love taiwanese sung i love um that is a beautiful language in song even like cantonese and mandarin like operas in those languages are really beautiful i think the mandarin like accent like the chinese accent in, when you come to English, is one of the most pleasing to my ear. What don't you like? What don't I like?

What sounds ugly to you? I don't know. I think it's like the Norwegian language is very funny. Oh, yeah. But it's very cute. It's not annoying. It's just like... It's funny because it's not wrong.

It is what it kind of sounds like. Yeah. And when I spent time in Norway, it was just very funny. Because I was like, I don't understand what you people are saying, but you're adults. So we need to work on that. I think that French and Spanish are overdone. And obviously English isn't. We're not putting fucking English in the bunker.

No. Arrogant. Arrogant about English. And why is French the second? And Gwyneth speaks Spanish, so she's already got it. Why is French the second language of the world? Colonialism. Yeah, but like not enough people speak it for that to be true.

Well, I think Spanish is the second language nowadays because they did a good job of conquering the world. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah. But people do speak like French is spoken. Yeah, but I don't know. Let's look up the most spoken languages in the world, okay?

Just quickly. Mandarin is higher than surely spanish i wonder if it's global representation of the language rather than like density in okay countries here we go oh here we go okay english number one number two you said it first 1.45 billion total speakers but that includes second language. Yeah. Right? So that's why English is so high. Yeah. Number two, Mandarin Chinese, 1.11 billion total speakers. Number three, Hindi.

Oh. With 602 million speakers, then at 559 million speakers, Spanish. at 559 million speakers Spanish. Then standard Arabic, 274. Then French. Then Bengali. And then Russian. Wow.

Here you go. But yeah, the juiced up numbers for English is for native speakers, it's just Chinese, like Mandarin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Love that. I just think, yeah, like French is everywhere. Like French is the language that you have on both,

like the box has French and English on it. Yeah. And I just, I'm sick of that. Yeah. Well, we're not having French in the bunker. No. What we are going to have is Japanese and Auslan. Love it. Okay.

That's great. Or Japanese sign language. Maybe we just make it easier on people. Yeah, Japanese. What was it again? It was Japanese. Japanese sign language, yeah. JSL.

Yeah. Okay, JSL and Japanese. Okay. That's fun. Start learning now before you come into the globe. I mean, before you get crushed by the globe. Amazing. Well, another satisfactory week.

And let's just recap what we've put into the bunker. Yeah. So, into the bunker this week. We have the emerald Colombian gold earrings. Yes. From the Golden Globes gift bag. Uh-huh. And then we have the nocturnal serum like

balm for people to eat if they get hungry and then we have wait what are they eating the balm i want people to eat people to eat the balm okay i thought it was like a solve for like dry knees okay then we're putting in we're building a new room we're pushing out the bathroom yeah to get to the bathroom we're going to have to get through a raining field of um the bugs from emperor's new groove which will be made out of eggplant at this point no they'll be made out of crustaceans from the oceanarium yeah okay we're going to have to put in a colony of crustaceans in the oceanarium there's plenty of room that's fine miguel malani move over yep uh you know what that might sustain her for a bit so that's quite good she has to go and down and get them every time we need to

replenish yes the roof that makes sense yeah you know how many more famous animals do we think we have to feed the meg we haven't gone through that many this week. Just checking. They went through, like, what is it, nine pigs in Babe? True. Yeah, you think there's one, but there's a big supply. Yeah, Milo and Otis, that was heaps of dogs and cats. We've got time. Okay, that's good. Yeah.

Free Willy? Funny. We could chop him up, freeze him, save him for later. Wow. Yeah. Okay. That one died, though. That actual whale?

Free Willy. They released him into the wild and he didn't have a pod Like us Jealous So he died Sorry Willy No platform for Willy I'm a whale talking to some of the people that I find fabulous, funny and interesting

This is Free Willy, the pod. Okay, and we're also putting in Japanese sign language. Yeah, JSL and Japanese. Yeah. Gorgeous. Amazing. And we're changing all the signage. All three are here.

We didn't even give a look in for the white lighter language. Oh, no. We've traded in some really dangerous territory today. You know what I'm remembering, though? Isn't the font chiller, isn't it? Yeah, it all has to be. So the Japanese has to be chiller. That's great.

That's really good. That is really good. It's kind of wobbly. I'm so impressed with you zelda this week though for not saying elvish i i was going to and then i thought no i already talked about fucking hobbit breakfast oh they weren't here about that i'll have cut that yeah well no i was going to talk about fictional languages but i control myself and now you've do you hear zelda's restraint she's growing oh my god do you know any words in elvish just to say this out oh no oh but if i know what does i know what armin says what does she say? Oh, my God.

I'm going to open the next podcast with Arwen's monologue in Elvish. That's my, that's my, what? Matt's laughing like that's something laughable. Matt's just bullying you. I just am imagining Lazy just cutting it all out. Next week, everybody's just like, um, Mr. Mama. Why did she say that? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I'll do the one because she cast a spell for the water horses. Of course. You don't have to tell me, darling. Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, and those horses are going into the Meg's chamber. They will be, yes.

You know what I learned recently? Mm-hmm. There are particular- It's really interesting. There are particular sea snakes that drink fresh water, which they live in particular areas of the ocean that have a higher precipitation rate. So there is more rain, which of course is fresh fresh water and it sits on the top of the ocean because it is like buoyant or whatever yeah until

it like integrates or i don't know what the scientific word that is but in the time where rain sits on the ocean like that is still fresh water and for yeah these particular sea snakes they drink fresh water not salt water so they all come up to the top yeah and wriggle around yeah to drink the fresh water when it rains so scary isn't it like i just some things you don't need to know yeah yeah like i thought you were coming for me sorry little snake i didn't mean to karate chop you yeah you just have a little sip. A little sip from the world. I thought you were spoiled for choice with all this water in here.

But no, you just need the bit on top. Yeah. Fish must be so thirsty all the time. Oh, that's salt water. Oh, my gosh. That's disgusting. If I was a fish, I'd do that. Are you guys tasting this?

It's salty. I hate when you're in the ocean and like it goes up through the nose holes in your mouth. That's so fucked. Let me tell you something else who hated that. Free Willy. Okay. We will see you next week

this has been another very productive session of organizing the world into survive or die we'd like to thank

you so much everyone for listening we will see you next week and please look this way the front

look the front of the drive turn look the front stop stop we're going in. Marco, the front of the dress right here. Marco, stop, stop, stop.

Marco, in front of you. In front of you. Marco. Incredible. Thank you, everyone. Goodbye. Bye-bye. Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears.

Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. You want to say something? Send us some fic? Send it to deathtoeveryonepod at gmail.com If you'd like to support us, please do so

at patreon.com slash deathtoeveryone Bye-bye. Bye.