Death To Everyone - Death To... Power Tools, Google Search & Vampires

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Hi again, This week we discuss which power tool brand makes it into the bunker, as well as which Google search function. And of course... which Vampire. Important stuff! x

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Really? Yeah. Have a great night, guys. We're not guys! Great work, Martha. Should he have said grandmother and grandson? Have a great night. Have a great night, grandmother and grandson. We're not yours.

We're not your grandson. Stranger woman and stranger child. Yeah. No. But I was like, old people are crazy. Yeah. Well, my grandma was. She's dead now. She's not crazy anymore. And death to everyone is our weekly podcast where we discuss a range of fabulous topics and save the best of the best from an impending apocalypse because we do have a doomsday bunker. And an impending apocalypse. Yes.

And what's your name? I'm Lazy Susan. Hey, I'm Zelda Moon. Oh my God. I thought you'd never say it. We also have Matt here. Hi. He's our associate. He has an associate's degree from TAFE. What did you study at TAFE? Me? Yeah. I studied music performance. There we go. Yes and. Thank you. Yes and. Can you play xylophone? Not well. Can you play theremin? No, I've only tried theremin once. I want to get one. I just made lots of silly sounds. I'm more of a string player. Like there are people who can do the hitting things and blowing on things. You think that it's mutually exclusive?

Like you can't do everything. No, I just never really tried any of those things. I just do like stringed instruments. That's my specialty. You know what? It was amazing. It's like, so my ex Ben, hello Ben, is like a self-taught pianist and he is incredible. Like he is truly phenomenal. I could sit next to him and be like, okay, play something happy. Okay, now play something like

somber. Now scary. And now this. And he could just like float. He is incredible. That is cool. incredible. That is cool. And like, I mean, he just like he's very studious, like incredibly successful in his career. And then just like has this side passion for music, writing music, composing, playing piano, self taught, insane. And now he's just started learning violin and when I saw him last he had his violin and he was so bad at it like terrible and it was amazing because every note was like as if someone was twisting a screwdriver into my ear lobe amazing and that's great ripping it around and driving it into the drum of my ear. It was so good. I was like, oh, you can't have it all. Yes. But you know what? I'm sure when I see

him again in like four years, he'll be incredible and I'll hate him. Well, unfortunately the thing about talent is that it's mostly practice. And he'll practice because what else is he doing? And he'll practice. Cause what else is he doing? I think it's great when like an adult learns a new instrument and like he's really bad at it, you know, that's so humbling. I think it's good. I think it's good for your, like, just for your brain. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, bad at something. Cause cause kids are just like bad at stuff and they're just like, Oh, well, this is what I'm bad at something. Cause it, cause kids are just like bad at stuff and they're just like, oh, well, this is what I'm bad at everything. Well, yeah, it's just like, this is my lot, you know, but adults are more like, Oh, I should be good at everything straight away, you know, and they don't persevere with things sometimes. And it's really funny watching them sometimes trying to make violence.

It's like, I wonder why they stop. Was it everyone laughing at them failing? Was there anything you stopped because people laughed at you? Um, well I still do drag. The laughing is the comedy award winner. Everything she says is so funny. When people say that I'm funny, I'm like, are you... Mocking? Sure. She says so funny when people say that I'm funny. I'm like, are you mocking? Sure. Oh, like, I don't know.

Anyway, what's the apocalypse this week? So the moon, we're going straight to apocalypse. What do you mean? Well, we got to butter them up first. No, we can't just talk about violin. What is this podcast about? We haven't even asked. Oh, talk about that.

Why don't you tell us? Me? Yeah. I did that. I already said that. Yeah. I did. You're pending apocalypse, which is we have an impending apocalypse.

I wasn't listening. Oh my God. We were just with your wife. Yeah. And we're having dinner with you and your wife. Well, just you, but your wife caught us in the act. Yeah. And, um, I was talking about how I was living with my boyfriend now, as

they have been for months and she was, and you were like, what? I thought he lived in Darwin. And then your wife was like, no, he lives with Robbie now. Do not let her to the barn. I thought he was going back. And, and then you were like, he's staying. I was like, that's great. Well done. And you were saying you were going to lay. Well, that was established four weeks ago in episode blah, blah, where we talked about which triangle

gets in. It was Isosceles. Did we put an Isosceles? I would never have done that. No. Why haven't we done that? Which triangle? Yeah. Which triangle? Ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling. Listen, you just have to wait for that one. Yeah, that's going to be a special treat for that 25th year. We'll do a whole...

2050. Oh my God. Okay. Do we have anything else to say? How's your love life? Fucking diabolically terrible. What? What happened this week?

What happened this week? I don't know. Is there anything you can talk about on this show anymore? What can I talk about? So little. Do you tell your dates now? Listen. No.

Does he even he listen? Which one? Um, how do I code word you? Um. Uh, do an action. Um. Are you doing this? You know, how do I code word you? Um, do an action. Um, someone who opens a can of beer. Yeah. Beer boy.

Yeah. What? Yes. You know, beer boy, the alcoholic listener, Laisa Susan is just acting out, bringing, opening a can and drinking it. Everyone drinks from a can, bitch. No, I know, but specifically, like, what were we talking about where, like, you were like... The thick monster dick can?

No, that was last week. I know, but obviously I'm still thinking about that. No, like, pale ale. Oh! No, I can't talk about that. No, like pale ale. Oh, no, I can't talk about that. Oh. But there's a new bisexual everyone. Maybe.

Maybe, yeah. What else? No, then there's the guy from New Year's Eve. That you can talk about. Yeah, so Lazy and I did- Did you get a little kiss? No, I didn't. How sad.

The only person I kissed that night was VB. Me too. No, that I'd like kissing you doesn't make me sub VB, but it's depressing that that was my only show. No, we should have her on. Oh my God. That's a mistake. We didn't have VB on. Victoria. Victoria, be the Melbourne's best drag queen? Quite possibly. Yeah. Yeah. She's better than us. But yeah, she was my only kiss of the night. Jesus. Anyway, we did Arbria float. We were part of that bougie bougie party. Thank you for having us. And we were there all night, just like chit chatting to the plebs who were there. And we were there all night just like chit chatting to the plebs who were there. And that was fun and very stupid. And at one point, Lazy had found this beautiful Italian man that she was talking to and then

I crashed that party as quick as possible. And by the end of the conversation, he was like, what's your Instagram, blah, blah, blah. And so I added, our phones weren't working. What? And so I had to use his phone. Oh yeah, because we didn't have reception. Yeah. We used his phone to follow us both.

And can I tell you sister? Yeah. Did that, is that what happened? I don't know. I think that's what happened. I looked today because he slid back into the DMs yesterday and listener, it's been about a week. So that's by curious behavior. He's not following you. Isn't that interesting? Did he unfollow you? He unfollowed lazy Susan. Doesn't he know? No, no. And he doesn't listen to this party.

I hope not. But anyway, he is, I don't know, in the DMs. Yeah, do you know what though? He insisted that he was straight. Yes. Many times. Yeah. But he did like to talk to the divas. He did. And he was like seeking out the divas throughout the night,

which is how I ended up conversing with him in the first place is that he'd kept hunting me down and chit chatting and then I was like, Oh, and then like, he was like, yeah, I'm straight, blah, blah, blah. I'm like my ass, you're straight. Yeah. I think you're just like an Italian man. Yeah. So you haven't had the opportunity to realize how gay you are.

What do you do for a living? I cut hair. Yeah. Okay. Faggot. Faggot. Unless it's at a just cut in Knox city, you're gay. Yeah. But what a beautiful man. So he's around. Yeah. Um, yeah. Look, who knows, but we'll find out. Just so many little bisexuals sitting on your radar. Yeah. If you're gay, can you send me a message? You don't like gay men. I do. When?

This one that I really like. He has the attitude of a straight man. Yes. He's somehow harder to get than like Italiano. Anyway. Anyway, that's good. See, we entertain them. We butter them up. How's the world ending? he's somehow harder to get than like Italiano. Yeah. Anyway, anyway, that's good. See, we entertain them. We butter them up. How's the world ending?

OK, so this week, this, you know how like you got that cool little laser toy from just magic or like what's new or whatever. And everyone that you've ever spoken to is like don't shine it in my eyes. Well then you did. And then what? Their head exploded. But they were also holding a laser pointer and when they fell to the ground, the laser caught your cornea and then your head exploded. And so it went on and everyone got lasers pointed in their eyes and everyone died. And that's the apocalypse of the week.

Hmm. Well, lazy is not impressed. Sorry, I'm just getting emails from people that have ordered merch and they aren't getting it because Ozpost is fucking my dickhole. Oh dear. Well, imagine if you just pointed a laser in there. I'm going to kill myself. Why the fuck is Ozpost fucking my shit up? Well, this is a story.

Can you tell us something? I've been sending out merchandise and then inexplicably there are just pieces vanishing off the face of the fucking earth and it is absolutely horrendous. Like and they because this like in order to get non-tracked postage where you just send with stamps you can have certain thicknesses and certain weights that you can still send with stamps, like in an envelope, as if it's a letter. Mm-hmm.

So you can get $3 postage on sending a PIN. Yeah. So then you are sending a PIN through the post out into the world, non-tracking. Mm-hmm. And there are just envelopes just not fucking showing up at their destination. Mm-hmm. And it's driving me insane. And there are just envelopes just not fucking showing up at their destination.

And it's driving me insane. That is quite shit. Someone's just getting a pin randomly. There was like randomly like one whole lot that was sent at the exact same time in early December that has just vanished off the face of the earth. I saw your story posted about that. And it's like Oz post has been so unhelpful and things are just showing up to people's houses like torn up and scratched up and everything.

And like, how? How do you expect me to send things? Like, what do you mean? Yeah. What machines are you using? A fucking grinder? Yeah. That's how they sort it out. But there's nothing more stressful than not knowing how bad the issue is.

Because I have no sense of who's getting their messages, but it's like, it's probably worth saving the majority of people $7.95 on their postage, then to like get everyone to do tracked postage. But it's get everyone to do tracked postage. But it's just infuriating. Yeah. Also had a parcel show up at someone's house. This is early days where they got the objects and then they, in addition to the merch objects that they'd ordered, it had been ripped open and inside were

surgical scissors and a syringe plunger. Why did you put those in there? They thought, they were like, oh, this must be like a lazy joke. And then they looked at it again and were like, that's really weird. I don't think she would do that. And thank you for that incredible credit, because I didn't do it. And then when I went to Ozpost, because I was like, what the fuck, you can't do this. This is like someone,

because it has literally gone from my house into the post box and then back out the other side. So it was either- Only people who have touched it are- Either it was their staff or someone like fucking with this person's mail. Yeah. Like on the other end, which is possible too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, they were like, oh, you need to go to a head office and then you need to fill out all this paperwork at the head office. And I'm like, I'm telling you something that should concern you. Like don't make me work harder

for something that should immediately concern you and be like, we'll get our best guys under this. Like someone just fucking put weird shit in someone's post. Isn't that scary to you? Don't you want to weed that out? Look, they're not biarck, okay? So they haven't lived that experience. They don't understand the severity. It's weird. But I just like, I'm like, it makes me so uncomfortable to have all these people waiting on something like waiting on something from me and to disappoint them.

It's like, that's so annoying. I don't want to, I was not. That's your career. I know, but normally in drag, I'm like, this is it? Yeah. That's it? Yeah. Whereas Nick, now it's like, that's it?

Five weeks later, maybe I disappointed you. Yeah. And they've spent money. I know. that's so awkward I think because we've only ever sold merch at gigs yes so that's you know hand to hand yes here it is if you want it and you can like look at it you can figure out its quality like you know everything about it but it's like the weird thing where it's like I'm doing my my best. I'm putting bubble wrap on everything, making sure it's up. And I still don't know whether I'm fucking up something that's

like making all this go wrong. It's so annoying. Yeah. Well, I'm sure the people understand. I mean, they are, but it's just like getting, I got, I will, I still gotten five different messages today about five unique specific situations. And because I'm just really fucking busy at the moment, it's like each one of these things,

I'm like on their own, that would be nothing and we can solve it really quickly. But then all together I'm like, fuck, am I about to, yeah. Yeah, no, it's a lot. You wanna just do the job once, not again, and then again, and again. And the postage takes so long.

It's like, I got this big flurry of orders and it was incredible and it was lovely. It was for the new lookbook that I put out. And it was like insane. It was like the most orders that have ever come through on one day. And it was like, and I was like, this is amazing. And I looked at the list of orders and I was like, this is going to take a day, like a full day of just stocking the orders. But they were the lookbook.

So I had to stick in all the stickers and everything, all the bits. So that took a day. And then it took two additional days to send everything. Two days of two people just addressing and sending envelopes. And like for the international orders, you have to do a customs declaration. Like it's just crazy.

And then you have to take all that work and put it into a fucking garbage bin looking thing and just hope. Have you looked at other providers? Well, Auspost is still considered to be the most reliable is the issue. Like there's the other ones like Shipper or whatever. I don't know. But they're apparently even more woeful when it comes to getting answers. I suppose the thing is to keep some, keep like a...

Excess stock. Yeah. Yeah. For replacements and blah blah blah. Yeah. And then just play. Which is the thing like, I think that is the thing we're learning about business. Ah.

So you like, have to have a certain level of safety stock. Yeah. Yeah. And prayer and prayer. God is not on my side. Can I tell you? You can. There's this YouTuber that I watch, Open Rescue Ranch, this like douchebag guy in Florida or whatever, like all the others who like has an animal rescue that he makes content for YouTube, but like does actually work as like an animal rehabber, but he is deeply-

For drunk animals? Why are they going to rehab? That's your queen everyone. And he's super religious. He's American and every now and then it like slips out. But for his like new year's video, he, it was actually like weirdly genuine, but like he talked about how like last year was pretty fucked and he had like a heap of friends like commit suicide and like at work he had

to put down so many animals and all this stuff. Oh God. And he was like, and the thing that makes it even harder is when I open up about my religion and like put a psalm at the end of a video or whatever that like that's important to me and I want to do it and like that's my life and that's who I am and it's a part of me and I shouldn't not do that but every time I do there's so much like clap back in the comments and everything and it's such bullshit because I am allowed to have faith. Yeah. Anyway, and I thought that was so funny. What a loser. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Well, shall we take a break?

Okay. Bye bye. And we're back. Hello everyone. Can you believe it? Someone shot a laser in someone's eye and they exploded. But what I will say is that like my nonna finds a lot of like peace in her religion. Wait, are you talking about something that happened before the break? We had a break. It's continued. They wanted to know more. Previously on this show.

And I love that for her. So like, I'm not anti-religion. I just, I'm just, yeah. Well, anyway, what a perfect segue into our first. Which religion? No, which, oh my God, I wrote down laser eyes. Not which laser eyes. You know what's.

You wrote down funny things. The shark in Austin Powers has a laser mountain to its head. Yes. Not laser eyes. When did we ever say that? Well, I'm sure someone did. And I'd just like to clarify, it's not it. It wasn't me that said that.

For the record. Yeah. But if you ever, we've all been waiting for someone to clear that up. Honestly, made that mistake. Set the record straight. I just like to help you out by not, you know, anyway. Their heads have been strapped to the top of their heads. Which is kind of even funnier.

Okay. The next, the first topic rather, for today is which power tool brand is going into the bunker? This is so important and so brave of you to bring up. I know. Um, who from the discord asked for this? I think it was, you know what, I think there were two people who were like, yeah, that's a good idea.

Dominique. Um, who was it? Um, oh my God. Yeah. It was Ash and Christine. Oh, were those real names? Yes. Well, how those real names? Yes! Wait, how do you pronounce this one?

Steel. Steel? S-T-I-H-E-L. Oh, I thought you meant from Discord. You mean the Tower Tool brand. Steel the one! Are you still using that one? Yeah.

Are you still using that for real? Okay. Okay. So here's what I have learned as a, uh, as a power girl myself. Yeah. I thought at first most expensive best. And so I was like, Oh, it's DeWalt. Apparently DeWalt's kind of shit. And you never see tradies with DeWalt tools.

No, no, some tradies. I've been using Dewalt actually lately and it's quite good. But I'm not a trading. I've seen some, I've seen some, I've seen myself. I have a Dewalt power orbital sander and I have a Dewalt jigsaw. Yeah. Good. Yeah.

But I was reading on tradie forums they think DeWalt's a load of bullshit and apparently it's all about, oh god, I can't, I think it's Milwaukee is the, oh yeah, the like standard too. I think we need to properly set you up a like workbench. Yes. That's what we need. I want like a heavy workbench with like a single bare bulb hanging above it. You know, like dad's sheds vibe. Going out there late at night to smoke a cone. Stop talking about my father. He's not in a shed. He's in a pink palace. Pink cave. Um, yes. I feel constant shame doing my lawn with my Ryobi electric lawnmower. I feel like everyone's looking and laughing at me.

But you know what? It's fine. How long does it take to... Oh, you plug it in. No, it's like just the batteries. Oh. There's battery packs. It's fine. There's like just the batteries. There's battery packs. It's fine. There's batteries. There's battery packs.

It's actually really quite convenient. And what a fabulous green. It's more of a teal, isn't it? No. It's lime. Ryobi? Yeah. Oh, is it lime?

Teal. Oh, this is embarrassing. She said she was the power girl. Oh, that's Meketa. Yeah. Ryobi. Oh, that's Meketa. Yeah. Ryobi. Oh, there she is. So like, you know what? Ryobi is my budget. OK. That's reality.

Girl, you're already so defensive. Because Ryobi is obviously the shittest one. It is bright green, honey. I would never. that's crazy. How did you end up with that? I'm not joking about it. Well, cause it's what's in my budget. But Makita is cheaper, isn't it?

I don't know, but like now that I've started, that's it. Because they all use the same batteries. I don't have enough outlets for different fucking battery packs. Oh wow. So it's a Ryobi world for me. You've started on the Ryobi path. And it's like Japanese, so I'll pretend that's why I like it.

Okay. I think, okay, so I'm looking at a chart here that I have no sense of what it actually means, but it's putting Bosch at number one. Oh, I see that. I don't think Bosch has broken through into the Australian market TBH. No, I have a Bosch drill right here. You're obsessed with having all the things that I say? My dad's drills are that. I think my Bosch drill is quite good actually. It's a power, it's like a corded drill. Oh corded, that's so scary. I think that's too strong for me. I also just don't think

that you should have, I do want a, I want a one that can drill into brick. Oh, that'd be so hot. That's that's what that one does It's got the hammer yeah Scary my brother had a friend who had a hair and was hot But also like kind of rude growing up. He was always like rude to me. What do you say? He was hot, but also like kind of rude growing up. He was always like rude to me. What did he say? I thought he was hot. Well, he didn't really say anything, but he became a carpenter and he always had like this like long kind of like Nirvana kind of boy, like blonde hair.

And one day part of it got caught in a fucking drill and scalped him. Yeah. Good. Like maybe like, like solid, like round circle of like two, three inches off the side of his head. It was fucked up. That's crazy. That's real, everyone. But also like, serves him right.

Having that nasty long hair. You hate long hair. I've always said it. Yeah. Chop it. Chop chop. Chop chop. Chop shop. Chop shop. What? Chop a shot.

Can I just say, benign girl, could you like do a sponsorship? Oh, you want benign to pay us money? No, but like she could do a fake ad. Yeah. How good would that be? We need a fake chop shop ad. Yeah. Chop shop.

Chop shop. Yeah. Okay, good. I just feel like we shouldn't need to suggest it She should have already just sent us a file. Yeah, that's funny Friend with a business send us a fake ad like a real money But it'll be fake because you probably won't pay us for it. But that's fine If you want to pay I would love if anyone would pay I like the reason I like the DeWalt is because of the yellow as well.

Ah, I see. It's on brand. How many brands can you find out there in the wild that just have your yellow, you know? Right? Because you can't find like a pink tool set. Well, you could, but it would suck. It would be terrible. Why are they no, what do you think for like going back to brands for women?

Oh God. You know, ladies choice. Yeah. Is it, why is there not one in Bunnings that's like ladies choice? Lady line. The lady line. Cause that's fucked. No, it's obviously fucked, but like it's so obvious that majority of them are

like geared towards men and men's interests. I watched this video today on masters and the downfall of masters. Oh, I watched that same video. Oh yeah. I kind of hated that guy. I hate him. He sucks. You know what?

I'm like, I don't need to hear from you again. Oh yeah. I will never watch another one of his videos. But it was a good thing. Yeah. But the part about women I thought was weird, the way he spoke about it was also really weird. Yeah. But I just.

Because OK, so to background for the audience. They're talking about in Australia, Bunnings is like the number one hardware store. And so that's what we all go to for our hardware. And then there was like a challenger brand that was by like the other supermarket company. And they wanted to bring in masters, which is gonna be supported by Lowe's, the American tool plays. And they were like, we're targeting women with these.

Like it's gonna be a lot more like clean. Right. Yeah. Yeah. But I just, I thought that was a weird take. And the way he spoke about it was weird. It was weird. Like marketing to women is stupid because women are stupid was kind of the vibe and he's like, that's why it failed. Like, I don't think that is, I think anyway, he sucked. Um, so if you watch that video, you know what we're talking about. Yeah. Um, but I hate skincare for men.

So I equally hate, like... Dust. Yeah. Like, fucking lawnmower for women. Yeah. It's so stupid. No, you know what it is though, unfortunately, things just look quite nice and like pastels and cutesy. The aesthetics of like femme coated products are cooler and nicer than the aesthetics of

quote unquote masculine products. I would love pastel pink sky blue, like power tools. Yeah. But they're not happening are they? No, maybe like a Dremel. tools. Yeah. But they're not happening, are they? No. Maybe like a Dremel. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, like in a great example, in the nail tech world,

you do get products that are cute and fabulous. Yes. And I'm like, I want that. They're just a rotating motor kind of vibe. Yeah. I just want some cute shit. But I like, it's so interesting, like, when I have people over to my house and I open up the garden shed room, so many people are like, what is this? Like, what do you mean? Like, all these like tools and stuff. Like, yes.

Like you with that thing. Like, yes. There's something weird happening in our generation. A lot of people are not familiar with tools. Yeah. I hate that. That's weird. They're just tools themselves. Yeah.

You know what? You need to feel like you're being invited into that culture. Cause I think a lot of us get turned off by it very young. You know, like at that Father's Day store, they they would run in the primary school gymnasium. See, it's so interesting because like growing up, like my dad is a like horticulturalist, landscaper, gardener, right? But he is very handy.

He's not a carpenter, but like, he built all the retaining walls at our house, all the garden beds, like he did all the painting around the house. He never like really constructed any furniture, but like, garden beds, walls, fences, he would do all the fences on the property. And like my brother and I would help him do all of that. Yeah. And like, I don't know, even as a kid, like that never, like I was always so into it. Like I have the fondest memories of like, even there were periods where we like had

to build like a new septic tank and like building that with all of like the, um, those like bricks. What are they? Anyway, like all that, like I fucking love all that stuff. Yeah. So it's like, yeah. See that's why we're going I fucking love all that stuff. Yeah, so it's like yeah That's why we're gonna be good on the block Maybe we should the block. This is the block Cuz you're hot then you're cold. Yeah. Yeah

What is the theme for the block man? Just that isn't it? No, that's a master show. Oh, is it? Matt? Just... It's that, isn't it? No, that's MasterChef. Oh, is it? Oh. No. I actually don't... I'm up to new highs in years.

Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay. It's gonna be... You pick. I don't care. No, I think we have, um, Zelda moons depressing, lime, orange, moa. Funny. Ryobi. Yeah.

I think Ryobi's like the better of the DIY Funny. Ryobi. Yeah. I think Ryobi is like the better of the DIY brands. Ryobi. All the tools I've got to find. I will ask you. This is what I can afford right now. I think we need Zelda's defensiveness, you know, to survive in the apocalypse. I've never been defensive. We need Zelda's defensiveness to survive the apocalypse.

Yeah. Anyone who owns one of these power tools, they've got to be like, it's pretty good. It's actually okay. It hasn't died yet. It's fine. I guarantee they are like that. It's what I can afford right now. I will.

I only have Ozito. Ozito. I only have Ozito red. Bitch, you have Dewalt? No, I don't have Dewalt. You were just saying. You said you had Dewalt. We're on the record. My partner's dad is a builder. Oh, I don't have to waltz. You were just saying, you had to work on the record.

My partner's dad is a, is a builder. Oh, you said you had to waltz. He has all the two waltz and I've been using them and they're so much better. And then what? Great. Compared to. As you know, well, honey, there's our first problem. Well, I'm just a DIYer as well.

I don't need to use them every single day. I mean, I built the studio that you're sitting in right now with a D'Orzito. You mean the one that was flooded just a week ago? One that's crumbling around you. I wish we, no, no, no, no, no, you're very handy. I love it in here. It hasn't broken yet.

No, it's good. Mostly. It's good. It hasn't broken yet. No, it's good. Mostly? It's good, it's good. Okay, I think it's going to be Zelda's defensiveness and a lime mower. Yeah, it goes with the lime rug. The benign girl put in. Oh my god, yes. All right.

Yeah, it's going to caught up in there. Grrr! That's the only thing to mow anyway. That piece of lime called lime green rug. Grey is. I like that. Okay, well that works. Great. We'll be right back.

Welcome back everyone. Hello. Now. Now. Hello. Now. Now. Later. Oh my God. Lazy Susan had this fabulous suggestion before we started recording. Can you remember what it was?

Yes. Yeah, you go. Which tab, so you're on the Google homepage. Yeah, Google.com. Which tab do you prefer for the end of time? So I'm going to talk you through the options. Yeah, we're living in a weird world where there's quite a few like extraneous ones and I'm sure we'll get rid of them quite quickly. But for the record, that the record show that I'm introducing them all. Okay. So we have the images books maps news shopping videos flights finance

short videos web search tools feedback okay well where are we at? Reverse image search. Oh, okay. I'm going to allow that. Yeah. I'm going to allow this. Um, I'm so often too lazy to use that function. Yeah, but like, it's a special occasion kind of thing. Yeah, it's like, am I being catfished on Grindr? I just need to look up this screenshot that I've taken of this person because it's too good to be true. And how often does it turn out for a result? You know, I haven't done it in a long time, but there's been times where I've like confirmed my suspicions for sure. And you feel like a detective in those moments. Yes.

Reverse image search. And then I don't know, that's quite a fabulous feeling. That's true. But then also you're like, okay, well, I can keep talking to this person and just get a few more hot pics of that person. Yeah. Not the person I'm talking to, but it's someone hot. I want a hot photo. Okay. What? That's good. Yeah. But I mean, I would most, I would say my most used tab is image. I knew it was going to be image.

You're a visual learner. Oh my God. So, patronizing. What? I look for videos as well. You use video tab? I do. Why don't you use YouTube?

Cause sometimes the videos aren't on YouTube. Yes. And then you give up. And then you give up immediately. Yeah. You use YouTube because sometimes the videos aren't on YouTube. Yes Give up immediately. Yeah, there's something so satisfying about finding a video that's not on YouTube It's on some poison website. Yeah I also like when you're going and looking for news and then you can use custom range to put it before the most recent Scandal to see what they were saying about Blake Lively before this whole situation. News. I've never clicked on that tab.

Like genuinely, I don't think once in my life. Where do you go for your news? I actually didn't even know that it was there. Where do you go for your news? So I used to listen, a friend of ours used to have a podcast called, um, oh my God. What was it called? Ozpil's snack pod. Yeah, Ozpil's snack pod. Yeah, Ozpil Snack Pod.

And that's where I got my news. And I stopped that podcast about three years ago. So I have no idea what's going on. Yeah. News, I get my news from you. Don't rely on me for your news. I don't. Second hand news. Sometimes it just occasionally crosses my beach.

Oh, my God. See, Power Tool brands, as I was just Googling, Good Housekeeping on the 22nd of August 2024 reported, these 10 companies make the best Power Tools, comma, period. Incredible. Yeah. I mean, I, but that sounds like a search, not a news search. It's a news search. No, that's fake news. That's a news search. No, that's fake news.

That's like a no. Okay. Well, I just searched. Yeah. Okay. So like, say I want to read up about the Vivian. Yeah. Because people are searching that today.

Yeah. Then you can search all the different news outlets that are writing about it and go to the one that you most want to hear from. Like an actual news source. You. I can't tell you these things. Um, no, I don't care for that. Um, so what's your most used one? I would say I just go for the full web. Or just the base. I like an all. I love Google, like bottom of the page. I like an all I love Google like bottom of the page Cool, that is so what bottom of the page?

Google you know when you get to the bottom of the page and you like all of the O's and it says like this is the Millennium Act We can't show some of your search results No When you get to the bottom of a Google page Then like you click to page two, but it's like another oh, and the O's are like page two. Yeah. You love that.

I love that. That's funny. And then I don't know. Someone agree please. Yes. That's amazing. What about shopping tab? You know, I have, I have, Iabbled but I just I just I just like

Online shopping for clothes. Hmm is so like what website? How do I find the website? What do you type in like cool men's clothes, do you know you can shop from Pinterest now? Yes. But you know, like, what do you type in to find what I like? You can just like look at pictures and then click it and it'll be, take you to a link of it. Yep. But if I was using Google, like, what do you, like, how do you find?

I would never buy clothes online. You would never buy clothes.? You'd never buy clothes That's true. Yeah, but I do we need to buy clothes. They just end up in my house because like otherwise What do you go to a sauce? No, like well, that's the issue with shopping though. I'm like I'm looking for a couch at the moment We're looking for a new couch But it's like a big question of like, do we go for an L shape and blah, blah, blah. And I keep seeing these magnificent couches in the wild at people's houses of people that

I respect. And I'm like, what a fabulous couch. Where did you get that? And they say some brand and I'm like, okay. And then when I go back to where I was shopping online, I'm like, that brand is nowhere to be seen here. I feel like, you know, like my Google search results think that I'm a fucking loser, you know?

Yeah. And they're just showing me this like broad term, bullshitty fucking couches and couches are probably the hardest thing to ever buy. And if you want like, there's just so expensive. Yes. And yeah. And even for a bad one, they're expensive. Yes.

And they're so ugly. Yes. Why are they so ugly? They're so ugly. And why do they all have drawers in them? They should all have fucking drawers. What? They're like, they're built on these giant things.

Oh, like, oh. They should all just have storage in them. Put out little little drawer. But you know, like looking into storage for couches, do you know the most efficient way that the market has decided to put storage inside of like an L shaped couch? To open like the fucking hood of a car.

Like it lifts up. So when you're- Your seat goes up. Like the little corner bit, they're like the L, like the bit that protrudes the peninsula of the couch. Where you lay your legs. Where you put your legs. Running. Exactly.

That is the scenario. And it lifts up like it's a fucking alligator. And that's not just like one strange DeLorean in a sea of regular like couches It is a industry standard and I'm like so when you have your kids and your husband and you're an overworked Reba McEntire just trying to like live your life Yeah, and you want to get access to the blocks that are stored beneath the fucking couch in the storage bank head Yeah, you have to get your kids off the couch to open the gaping more of the fucking sofa.

Put a fucking roller drawer that way just have to kick up their legs. They don't even have to fucking unplug from Fortnite. What are they... To get what? Jenga? Yeah. Okay. We have people over. Yeah.

Yeah, but you know what I mean? Like they should be drawers. It's crazy. I get it. Ship's captain. I mean, ship's bed. Captain's bed. Anyway, what I'm saying is, I keep getting shown ugly couches on the shopping tab. So it's not going to be that. Okay. Yeah. I tried really hard to find do you remember like when I was looking for a pair of black overalls to where to work? Yeah. And I tried for a really long time to find them. And online. I just could not they were all ugly. Yeah,

they were all just so fucking ugly. Yeah. And I bought a pair from ASOS because they were ugly bit cheap. And I hate them them and then it wasn't until I was in Germany last year that I actually found that pair that I like and that's where I got that fabulous bag from that workwear store. There you go. Yeah. Wait was it only Sook? No. Oh different. No. I bought that Sook jumpsuit thinking it would make me look like that hot chick on the silk website, but it didn't. It made me look like a faggot wearing a woman's jumpsuit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's hard. But anyway, the like truly I tried the shopping tab on Google hardcore for that black pair of overalls that wasn't ugly and it never delivered. You know there's all that conversation about dead internet theory. No. Like because of the advent of AI like so much of the internet is like now being generated by AI and so much AI is just like running its own little programs online that like most of Facebook is just like random like AI is talking to each other on like the comments of your auntie's post and like the only people getting fooled by it are like

Your auntie. I think it's the the issue is Like we need some curation. I need someone to tell me where to find the fucking couch of my dreams. And that you can't find online anymore. The search is not working. The search is broken. It doesn't exist. I agree with what you're saying. But just for a moment.

I hate this like AI thing. You hate it. That's AI. I like, I don't think. You don't? AI? Artificial intelligence? You're telling me some hot cyborg gal is like typing on her like bubble mac?

Generating these fake things? That's AI. And what's happening right now is not AI. Your holographic face mask on episode two of drag race was not AI. Why do they keep calling that AI? Why are they calling that AI? That was weird. That is not AI. That's not what is happening.

If that was a real woman typing a Facebook post, she would have artificial intelligence. Yeah. Like what? Well, I think she's a hologram woman from would have artificial intelligence. Yeah. Well, I think she's a hologram woman from the future. AI confused robots. Yeah. Well, Zelda namely. No, if that was a free standing one. But like, no, and it's like app, like when did computer programs become apps?

Oh, I hate that. I hate that. It's that's the same thing. That's you know what to get. Yes. But like, what was it that ATM visa or whatever? America's Next Top Model visa, the new fucking visa to go to the UK that Australians have to get.

Oh yeah. Wait, to go to the UK, you need an America's Next Top Model Visa? Yes. Okay. I want to be on top. Anyway, I went to the official government website for Great Britain. Yeah. America's Next Top Model.com.

Yes. Yes. I went to Tyra's website and went to model world. Yeah. Anyway, and I was looking for this new visa that they're bringing in. Yeah. That affects not just little kids or teenagers or skibbity toilets, but like adult human beings that are out there living their lives with things to do. Yeah. And they were like, you have to download the app to do this. What do you fucking mean? I have to download an app.

This should be the oldest clunkiest ass website that only accepts like a desktop. Yeah. Are you telling me like adults? Like my father is going to have to download the app? That's not gonna happen. And guess how many fucking times this is gonna come up at Heathrow when this is implemented because you decided that it needed to be a fucking app. Get a life, Great Britain. After all the atrocities and bloodshed, now this. Now this.

Yes. Oh. Aye, aye. I actually can't remember what the... Wanna be on top. What is the, I'm gonna find the name. And the app has like the fucking crown jewels on the symbol.

And I'm like, you can't be serious. This is Black Mirror. Oh, Black Mirror. Oh, it's called the UK ETA. It's the UK ETA. Yeah, not in their six top model. Okay, well same thing. I'm so mad.

Anyway. What are we talking about? We're talking about which app gets. What are we talking about? We're talking about which app gets in. Which girl from season three of Top Model gets in? It's Katrina. Obviously. I actually can't remember what topic we're talking about.

We're talking about Google tabs. Oh yeah, that's right. Close all tabs. I use the maps the most. Maps? I guess that's a trickity, trickety toilet answer. Can I say, you know, when you're looking up aquariums nearby and you just like, okay, I want to do this. Because I just want a good aquarium nearby. Blackburn is so far away.

I just want a good aquarium nearby. Blackburn is so far away. No one has ever said that in like a sad way. What? Oh, right. But it's like, I can't. No, anyway. It's like, I forced Lazy to do it once. I forced my friend Olivia to do it once.

You're just burning through all your friends. Yeah, I've got like, I'm, Sari might do it one day, but Sari also has a child. And then that's it. I love coming to the aquarium. You should take me. Yeah, I've got like, I'm, Sari might do it one day, but Sari also has a child. And then that's it. You should take me. You have a child. Two reasons why. It's not reservoir. Reservoir. It's reservoir. Oh, okay. There's a good one in Coburg, isn't it? Coburg aquarium. It's fine. It's- Zelda doesn't like that one. It's dirty. Yeah. Sorry. Coburg aquarium, if you're listening.

I also applied for a job there once and I didn't get it. So fuck you. I imagine my life, if I got that when I was 18, I just moved to the city. I moved to Coburg. Why didn't they hire me? Why do you think they knocked you back? Probably because my resume was atrocious and I don't know.

Someone asked me if I had a resume the other day. Because you worked in a fish and chip shop before. Who me? Yeah, she's going to try and write up the... Wait, where did you work before? I worked at Paul Louis Chinese restaurant. I've been to an aquarium shop before. None of those people have resumes or histories.

That's the thing that really frustrates me now that I'm like an adult. I'm like as if you wouldn't give me a job in an aquarium. Now you're probably overqualified. Yeah. I wanna start an aquarium. If I like win the body. So you don't have an aquarium currently? What?

You don't have an aquarium at your house? I've got two. I got three. Oh, you got three? Yeah. Oh, you wanna start an aquarium shop. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Yeah.

You wanna sell the fishes. Yes. Yeah. Aquarium shop. You want to sell the fishies. Yes. It'd be so good. Anyway, what am I talking about? Maps. Tabs. Yes. So when you're looking up, I know this is a universal experience. When you're looking up aquariums near me, because you live in Ascot Vale and you don't want to go to Blackburn to the incredible aquarium there. Are you like doing it every day hoping that there's going to be aquariums near you soon? Yes. When will they open up?

Because there's two near high point, but they're like fish, like a pet barn or whatever. It's awful. And then there's another one that I haven't been to yet, but I just, it's pet barn 2.0. Are aquariums over? Are people over? No, no, no, they're there. But anyway, you, you Google search on maps because I want to see how close they are to my house because I do not drive.

So I need it to be around the corner. And then walking home, you like, but then you try to click on like the business to see like opening hours, the website and the website never works and it just doesn't work. And then lately, as in three days ago when I was doing this, all of these fucking lame ass disgusting aquariums only have Facebook pages. They don't have websites. So then I'm linked to Facebook, but I'm trying to dis act like deactivate my Facebook. So like I'm not logged in, in that browser anymore because I'm trying to cut it out of my life. So like I'm not logged in in that browser anymore because I'm trying to cut it out of my life.

So then I'm there and you have like 20 seconds on a Facebook page if you're not signed in before this unpassable pop-up comes up. It's like sign in. And I'm like, no, I'm trying to see if the aquariums are clean before I go there. And I didn't get in in the 30 seconds. The image search. That, but like, if you just do the Google search, you just get all the aquariums listed, I don't know how close they are. And they never close.

They're just like the good ones. Like a Cobra always comes up first. No, I want to go in. I want the experience. What if they got this sent to you? I have thought about it. Don't people do that a lot? Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. I'm curious to try, but I don't want anything go in. I want the experience. What if they got this sent to you? I have thought about it. Don't people do that a lot? Oh my god. I'm curious to try, but I don't want anything to die.

So I don't know. I'll get to plants. But anyway, that maps feature, I feel like always lets me down when I try to take it further. As in like, go to their website. But you know what? You're looking in a field that is probably the most notorious for shitty. Like not having websites. Yeah. Like no one's buying fish online. The aquarium people don't understand the internet exists.

That's why they have aquariums. They think it's just a place to look up different types of guppies. I'm going to get rice fish. I don't know why they would have social media pages either. Well, Facebook makes sense. They just got it. Oh, you think they're gonna love it. Yeah.

But you know what does work every time I go on there? Image search, just like, show me this or that or whatever. I'll find it. As someone who used to work in advertising and had to do a shit ton of fucking scamps, as we say in the biz for like decks to pitch ideas to clients or whatever. Google images are just some of the worst because the solo res most of the time and the Getty images that cost money that pop up when you look for high-res searches are so evil they shouldn't be allowed in images in what world am I ever buying an image

on the internet are you fucking crazy do you see how much they are? It's insane. Yes. I hate that. And if you've ever paid for it, I hate you. Yeah. For perpetuating such a ridiculous idea. Well, that's, I mean, giant companies have to.

Yeah, but. But that's the thing. It's like, we weren't, we were a giant company, but we weren't given permission to just freely download scamp worthy images. So fuck off. I just, images, I guess. Yeah. I hate it though, when you find the image that you're looking for does exist. It's just been buried somewhere and not properly labeled. Yes. It's just been buried somewhere and not properly labeled. Yes.

Oh, people that really know how to use the internet freak me out when they know how to find that shit. I used to really know how to use the internet. And then I kind of like, I don't know. I have other things happening in my life. And now it's too late. Yeah. So I don't need to. You got a query on brain now, honey.

Pretty soon you're going to forget about Instagram, TikTok. Just be one Facebook page where you'll talk to a robot. Wait, just circling back, and I don't want to get into this. Oh, okay. But I do want to just clarify, perhaps, the listener. Your complaint, you hate people talking about the AI because the AI isn't a robot woman sitting down at a laptop typing responses to people. No, I think that like...

That's AI. You're all idiots. AI can't just be a software. I just, I don't understand. But like I, to my understanding, it's not a robot woman with sexy chrome tears. Obviously sitting in a sexy chrome apartment. Yes. In like a skyscraper.

Yeah. But with a regular cat. Yeah. Um, no, it's just like, like I understand what a program is and what an algorithm is and what coding is. I have done that. I've studied that. So like, I understand when that is happening and that's what's happening. It's not like some like artificial intelligence suggests to me sentience. Well, there's a distinction that's made

called general intelligence. Oh. That's like the difference. Okay, well, can we call it GI then? Because it's not AI. Well, they don't know whether it is AI. Why, okay. Cause it's not a Chrome woman,

famously tip tapping away her I understand and her agenda. And I think we all will submit to her when the time comes. How are you submitting to her now? She doesn't even exist and she already rules my life. You know that thing they say about AI that's like, what's it called? The theory of the obelisk, which is like the giant AI force from the future

that will punish anyone that tries to stop it in the past. Well, go back in time. Obelisk. I'm all for it. As long as you've got rockin' big knuckers. Good, good. Okay. Well, I'm happy to go with the images. Okay. I think that's... It's just so people in the bunker

Now what images should we put in the search? Well, they're only able to look up Melissa net So they're just gonna be looking up different Melissa's they'll just be seeing images of Melissa's. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, great. Okay Thank you Thank you. You don't have to say thank you. It's okay. Oh, and gone back in to previous episodes to find out what the fuck we're talking about with Melissa.net. You will enjoy it.

Oh no. Look for it. Which Melissa. Welcome back, listener. Our final topic for discussion today is, of course, I think quite anticipated, if I'm honest, which vampire goes into the bunker? Oh my god. Count Dracula. I'm so excited. Which Count Dracula? Count Dracula. Oh, Dracula. Yeah. Which one? So which vampire? Not Spike. Why not Spike? Rapist. Oh. I also don't like Spike.

I just don't think Spike was ever that interesting of a character. Like it's not like I love angel, but like they are both flawed and I think he's more interesting than angel. Yeah. I agree with that because angels just too like David Borean. I see. Yeah. He's too like, I tell you what that season of Buffy

with the rape and everything is too much. Mmm. That's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. Okay well what about Edward Cullen? No. Have you seen those movies? Yeah. No. He is not really interesting is he? No. Blade? Yes. Blade with his blade? Love Blade. Blade, that's funny. He's a daywalker. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. The daywalker. We also have, obviously we're doing this because of the film Nosferatu. Oh yes. OG Nosferatu. I fucking love that movie. I still haven't seen it. Really? We talked about this on this podcast. I know, but we should watch it.

What about Tom Cruise in Interview with a Vampire? You know what, I auditioned for that movie and I didn't get it, so fuck them. You auditioned to play Lestat? Well no, to play background- To play Kirsten Dunst? Charnel. Yeah.

Oh my God, you would be so- I didn't get it. I was too young, which I suppose is why I didn't get it because I didn't meet the criteria. Well, that is how casting works. But we still lined up and I didn't... Wait, where did you line up? They did. Where did you line up to be an interview with a vampire? Yeah, no, they did auditions for it at the hall in Tukaruk near the tennis club. No, they did not. Yes, they did. And they were going to Tukaruk to look for the new interview with a vampire.

Yes. It was just for like background characters or whatever. But yeah. What? Yeah. When I was like 13 or something. Yes. Too young. I don't know. something. Yes. Too young.

I don't know. Eight. I don't know. When did that movie come out? I was too young. But yeah, I didn't get it. Like I mean, I presume I didn't get it because- Do you think that some creepy person was like, were you having an audition today?

Oh, too young. Ew. That, oh my God. Can I say that happened? We had this, there was when I was in film school, there's like a whole, like rotation of actors that like will appear in student films. And generally it's like actors that like, like it can be anywhere from really talented actors who are just kind of giving back

and donating some of their time to student filmmakers with the kind of also side thing of like, maybe these people grow up and become the next generation of actual filmmakers and think about them and use them again. And then like kind of woeful actors who are just like not actually getting any work, but this is the only way they can get work.

And then yeah, like everywhere through it, there was this one guy who was in every film, he was this mustachioed man, he'd play like every police officer or disapproving father or whatever, in all of these like student films. And then like maybe three or four years ago, it came out that he was like this whack job, pedo like guy who had like been getting underage young male actors like to his house and then getting them to like rehearse scenes where they'd have to wear like speedos and lycra

and he would like quote unquote acting coach them. Isn't that so creepy? Yes. What the hell? Yeah. So dark. Ew. In Australia? Yeah. And now he's like in all of these like student films of ours from all of these like student films of ours from from the past you know that's gross yeah boo to that yeah why isn't he in prison i think he is oh okay okay well that's good yeah don't worry yeah well no this wasn't fake orchestrated by that guy. This was for real. But anyway, no, I don't like that. Okay, what do you think of what we do in the shadows? Yeah, funny. Funny? Do you like the show?

Yeah. Oh wait, you haven't watched it? I can't remember what I've watched. What about Salma Hayek? Oh. In Dust Till Dawn. I loved Salma. What is she? Dust Till Dawn. Mmm. I love Salma. What is she? What is she?

Dust Till Dawn. I don't think I've seen that movie. Oh, sorry. Okay, what else do we have? I like the Underworld series. Have you seen that? Yes. Bill Nighy.

Natalie. No. Who is it? Creepy Lady. Yeah. You know. Creepy lady. Yeah. You know. Creepy lady. British.

Yeah, the one that- Thin lady. Always dates younger men. Yeah. Celine. Celine in the Underworld series is really good. Celine. Oh my.

Okay, so there's lots of Cullens. Oh, let the right one in. She's fun. Little girl vampire. Abigail? I like little girl vampires. I love Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire. She's so evil.

What about Marceline? Marceline. It's like from Adventure Town. From the red out of, yeah. Yeah. The vampire queen. What about the Count? Uh, uh, uh, uh.

Count de Vond Count. We should do which Muppet gets in one day. Not today. We've done Puppet. Yeah, I said Muppet. Get it right. What about Draculaura from Monster High? Yeah.

I like her name. I like her name. That's so stupid. I like to be Draculaura. I like to be Draculaura. I like to be Draculaura. Oh my God, there's another girl in Monster High called Elizabeth. Uh huh.

What about Eric Northman from True Blood? Yeah, I mean the True Blood of it all. Bill and Eric. Yeah. I mean like. Shooky. Shooky Bill and Eric. Yeah. I mean like. Sookie. Sookie. Hey Sookie.

Sookie. Do you think I could do a- I really loved that show when I was like, yeah. In high school. Yeah. You want me and you went out. And every shadow filled up with doubt.

You know there was a period where Jubilee was a vampire. I hated that. No one knows what that is. Jubilation Lee, the X-Men character. Oh Jubilee, Jubilation Lee. But thankfully that's been fixed. Do you think it's time for a True Blood remake? What about Vampire Hunter D?

Did you, have you ever seen that? No. Oh bitch, it's so bitch. It's an anime. Yeah D Oh Bloodlust that movie is so stunning Just like that like it was at late 90s surely I know but like the look of that animation is like So chic and what was happening there? Why were they a vampire? vampire hunter D Oh, so good. So chic. And what was happening there? Why were they a vampire? Vampire Hunter D. Oh, god, I can't remember.

I think it's like, I mean, I'm not compare, like, I'm more of a zombie girl. Yeah. To put in that kind of. Yes. Zombies never have any, like, character. No, I think it's because like, the stories tend to be more human focused. Yeah. Um, but also like there's something like kinky and sexy and slutty about vampires.

Hmm. Uh, that, that is because they want to suck on you. They want to suck your blood. But also Count Dracula. Well, if we could just go back to the Dark Tales. No, Count Duckula. I fucking love Count Duckula. Well, no, tell me, give me a pitch.

So Count Duckula is this, was a cartoon series in the 80s, 90s about this vampire duck, a proud like descendant of this line of evil vampire ducks. Except Count Duckula, when he got resurrected or whatever, instead of blood, they did it with ketchup. And so he came out a little bit weird and vegetarian. He's a vegetarian. Yes.

So like he's got this like evil like Butler and who's always trying to get him to do evil things but Cantacular is just like a cute little goof and he's like no I don't want to eat that person or whatever because I'm vegetarian. And it's a duck. It's kind of ringing some bells. I feel like maybe I'm singing. Look at that. You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I know him. I didn't realize he was a vegetarian. Yeah! In the heart of Transylvania! And that's why you like him. In the vampire hall of fame, yeah! And that's why you like him. Not a one less vainier than...

Duckura. That's why you like him. He won't buy a feast of man, cause he's a vegetarian! Oh, it's in the theme it. He wants to be a beast of man, because he's a vegetarian. Oh, it's in the theme song. Yeah, bitch. Don't call me bitch. My name's Bianca.

Anyway, I love that vampire. Wait, suddenly there must be a video game vampire. You love those. Yeah, there's that line of, oh my god, what was that? Come on, bitch. What was her name? Come on, little cat. What was her name? Come on, cat. Blood rain. Blood rain was like a video game series about vampires, but I never played that. They were awful. Wait, are you scared? about vampires but I never played that they were awful. Wait are you scared? No. Is that why you didn't play? No because it was ugly also if I'm gonna play that game I'm gonna play Bayonetta she was probably Bayonetta but still. She's a witch but is she a vampire killer? Who cares I don't play her.

Um no Bayonetta. Bayonetta? Did she kill vampires? No, she killed angels. Oh. Please. Much better. Keep up with the law. Um, yeah. Oh, at least like Castlevania. So like Alucard and whatever. They're great.

Hmm. Have you seen that film, their only lovers left alive? Oh, with Tilda. Tilda. Love Tilda. Tilda and Tom Hiddleston. Yeah. That was, I really liked that movie.

That was pretty funny. Oh, I, do you know why I feel like I've seen that film? You haven't seen it. I haven't seen it, but in the, um, what we do in the shadows, season finale of season one, they go to the vampire council. The council. And they have everyone that's ever played a famous vampire reprising their role, but as like their actor name.

So Tilda is the head and she's playing Tilda. And then Danny Trejo is there. And then, God, who are the other ones? Paul Rubens from the original Buffy movie um oh my god it's so good Evan Rachel Wood love that yeah when is she a vampire though Evan yeah she's a vampire in um in in True Blood yeah oh that's right she right. The best vampire in true blood. Better than Pam. Pam! Is she? Wait, is that true and love Pam? What about Queen of the Damned, Shut-in-Melvin? That may be. Queen of the Damned! That's what I'm talking about. That's what you're. Why did you How dare you not remember that about my childhood.

That's so good. Well, I suppose that makes a bit more sense if that was filmed in Melbourne. I was just going to say, I don't think they were casting background extras. Everyone left. But yeah. Yeah, what? Aliyah? Yeah.

I mean, obviously that's amazing. Obviously. They didn't put me in the movie, so I hate that one. I hate that one too. Abigail? Yeah, Abigail. You liked that one? What about Drusilla? Oh, I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. In Buffy. I just can't stand like this kooky oooky characters. Crazy

Gal. Yeah. I'm like, hello? You remember that. Don't be stupid. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, oh, you're suddenly really like salient and sentient when you're like a plot point is needing to happen. What was the, what was the angel version of Drusilla? What was that gal? Like angels gal? Not Harmony? No, like the old blonde Diva Kate beckon sale was the lady we're looking for. Oh, yeah, who is Kate beckon sale?

Oh My god god, she looks so hot But Kate beckons down who was someone's talking about how she's like weirdly in the like LA comedy scene like she dates around in there. Oh really? Yeah. Because she dated Pete Davidson of Kim Kardashian fame and SNL. Matt Rife of that taking the belt off one handed like handsome Squidward looking bitch. Jack Whitehole from Fresh Meat and Everything.

That's like a fucking... she's gunning for him. And now she's dating a guy called... wait who the fuck is this? Goody Grace. Goody. She just likes young funny yeah don quirky is the character I was talking about oh Darla you know she was like evil old vampire gal yeah yeah well I'm glad we got to the bottom of that Kate Beckinsale what do you think about dating young comedians as an older hot woman? Older hot women can do whatever they want. You're right. Yeah.

I would advise them against comedians. Pete Davidson. I don't know what that is. You do know what that is. What is that? Pete Davidson. Kim Kardashian's ex. He's got big eyes, dopey mouth. Wait, what? Remember to have a very big dick. Davidson. He's got a VPL. I don't know what this is. I've never seen this before. You've never seen that man before?

Ew, he looks like he had a failing YouTube channel. That's us dude. That's what yes and L is. Ew! Who is this? Pete Davidson. He dated Kate Beckinsale in the international. Is that what you're asking me?

Is he a vampire? Wait, did you look up the other one? Matt Rife. Oh Jesus! You're gonna hate this one. This guy sucks! Rife. Is this good podcast content? I think people will love this. Eww!

Look at the pictures. Why does the face look like He's like famous for being handsome What yes fuck off he looks like that guy who's trying to take all those jugs and injectables to be young forever Is he a comedian? Yuck! Fuck I hate comedians. Jesus. Yep. He's the comedian that opened up his

special by telling like a domestic abuse joke. Where he was like, I was at a diner and then there was a woman who was the waitress and she came out with a black eye and my friend turned to me and said, God, she should really go and work out in the kitchen if she's going to look like that. And then I said, I think if she was any good in the kitchen, she wouldn't look like that.

God is the worst. I don't like that. One bad person. That's a terrible, terrible thing. He's a terrible person. That's a terrible, terrible thing. He's a terrible comedian as well. How do people like this get here? But I just think there's a weird thing, and I don't know if this is everywhere, but I think he is like considered handsome in America in certain pockets.

That it's like, there is just like an alternate reality where it's like this composition of things is the hottest possible composition of things. It's people who watch that Utah makeover show. Yes. It is. The Mormon. Okay. So which vampire will count Ducula?

You want Ducula more than Tilda? Yeah. You want Ducula more than Selma? Yeah. You want Ducula more than Evan Rachel Wood? Yeah. Okay. Then you can have it. Kate Beckinsale and Matt Rife? Yes. Yeah, okay, then you can have that cake back and sell in that rife Yes Don't you think Matt rife could teach us a few things in the bunker? Nothing compared to what count Ducula will teach us all okay, but how are we engaging with count Ducula in the bunker? Well, we're not going to serve him meat Tomato sauce, it's vegetarian

No count Ducula is tomato sauce. He's vegetarian. Um, no, counter killer is, um, you don't justify this. I believe you. But how, where are you putting him? But also, well, he'd go between rooms at leisure. There was a fabulous, like, is he on a TV? No, he's hanging out. Shut up. Like, is he on a TV? No, he's hanging out. Shut up! You want... I'm going back into Roger Rabbit world. Cartoons hanging out with people.

There was this great villain. Oh, Von Goosewing! Yes! This villain is actually so, like coded this fucking little button up outfit. Von Gooswing you think is me? Yeah, Dr. Von Gooswing. He's a doctor. That is you.

Look at that. Oh, anyway, Dr. Von Gooswing was trying to kill Count Dockula because Dr. Von Gooswing is a vampire hunter. So he's on the side of good. Well, it's really complicated. You know, it's a complicated show. Oh, yeah. Dockula seems like the original anti-hero. He's the original Walter White.

Dr. Von Gooswing as well. Oh, well, if he's going to look this fabulous the entire time, then he absolutely can. Right? OK, that's great. DuckTales. So it was a spin-off of DuckTales. Yeah.

I just don't like DuckTales, so I tried to forget about that. But it's like Daria and Beavis and Butthead. Yeah, right? Yeah. OK. OK. I'll allow it. Dr. Von Gooswing and butthead. Yeah, right. Yeah. Oh. Okay. Okay. I'll allow it. Dr. Von Gooswing and Count Duckula. Duck, Tails, the Man.

Because you can't have a vampire without a vampire hunter. That's important. Yeah. Yeah. So what are they playing on telly or what? Thank you so much for joining us this week, listener. I hope you've had a fabulous time. I know I did.

Death to everyone was recorded in natural habitat studios by Matt Cheers. Our theme song and music was provided by Unicentric and Angus Lesby. If you've got something to say to us, send it to us at deathtoeveryonepart at gmail.com And won't you support us please at patreon.com such as Death to Everyone. Nasha.

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