Death To Everyone - Death To... Sailor Moon, Pranks & Minis feat. Gabriella Labucci
Episode Date: April 23, 2024The week it's time to return to the void with our special guest from the cast of Deal or No Deal and Rupaul's Drag Race Down Under Season 3! Find out what she thinks should go into the bunker.... Hear more from Gab here: @gabriella_labucci Death To Everyone!!! Follow us, won't you? www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod www.instagram.com/mslazysusan www.instagram.com/zeldamoon Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. www.naturalhabitatstudios.com/ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. www.instagram.com/ediecentric/ www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello Hello, Asule and Yor to you all.
Listener, where are you right now, listener?
We've been looking for you for months.
Where are you?
Lost and found on the side of a milk carton.
Your mother called.
She wants to know where are you, listener?
Listener, you're about 5'8".
Brown chestnut hair.
A fair complexion with freckles kissed by the sun.
Braces just removed.
You can see the stains still on your teeth.
But they're straight and gleaming
we love you listener come home soon listener welcome to death to everyone i am lazy susan
and i'm zelda moon and this is a show called death to everyone which is a show that you're
listening to listener with your ears it's a show about um two celestial goddesses making decisions the hard ones yes at
the end of the world which is where we're currently situated at the precipice of who is it atlas who
has the world on his shoulders yes that's us yeah yeah um we are two atlases but wearing
sissy heels oh my god can i just I just quickly, Atlas Wikipedia, right?
There is a massive point of contention around whose image gets to be on the Wikipedia for micropenises.
Did you know this?
I didn't know that.
Well, brag about it.
But apparently, because you know, like the micro penis community there's like a fetish
around being made to feel publicly shamed for your tiny car yeah um as in kind of like you're
like oh just like everyone needs to see how small my dick is and like laugh at me and i'll get horny
about that yeah there's a guy on sniffies near my near my house it's like that sniffies listener
is like well how would you describe it it's kind of like it's like that. Sniffy's listener is like, well, how would you describe it?
It's kind of like.
It's like what people think Grindr is.
Yeah.
It's like Pokemon Go.
Where it tells you where someone is.
But for crop.
And it has their photos.
And it's just nudes.
And it's just nudes.
That's it.
There's no barrier to entry.
I'm having sex here right now.
Come here.
Do you have your Sniffys?
No, I don't have it anymore.
I've done a cleanse.
I'm down to just Grindr.
That's good.
And I'm a detox.
Yeah.
I'm like, how many more?
Like, if you're not on Grindr, you know, it's like having Netflix.
It's like, maybe I don't need Shudder if I have Grindr.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Hornet.
Hornet.
Well, exactly.
Who the fuck is using it?
Yeah.
Anyway.
All of that to say is, imagine you meet a guy who's in the fet community with a micro
dick and he's like, when you search micro penis on Wikipedia, it's my dick.
That's how micro this penis.
She's the queen of the micro dick.
Yeah.
And to you, we salute you.
Yeah.
Micro dick pic.
Incredible.
I love it.
But like, it changes so often because they're all like
vying for the like it's a game of thrones i often you know when you go to like i don't know
jennifer love hewitt's wikipedia page yeah and like the photo is the one yeah who decides well
you need to own the rights to it to put it up so a lot of the time it has to be like a random like
con photo of this i just yeah yeah they're always like blurry ugly
misc photos i'm looking up drag queen on wikipedia whose picture do you think it is
oh there's okay there's three there's three pictures okay first one i mean Okay My instinct is
RuPaul, Dame Edna
Maybe Coco Peru?
Is that a famous enough face?
Okay
So you've got RuPaul number one
Yeah
In a photo that I would describe as
Like she looks like the witch that Shakira put on the balcony
To point at her mother-in-law's house
I know her well, yes.
She's literally pointing in the image.
Then Pablo Vittar, like obviously very famous Brazilian drag queen.
And then drag queens at Sydney Mardi Gras 2012 and no name.
They are misc drag queens.
Can you identify them?
I cannot.
Okay.
Who are these girls?
Show me this image do you
know these women no okay if you know who the women are who are on the drag queen mardi gras 2012 in
sydney let us know sister why don't we ask our very special guest oh that's right we do have a
drag queen here in our midst i knew i something. Do you know who these women are? Gabriella Labucci.
She died.
Look, unfortunately, I don't.
I wish I did.
They look like good time gals.
They're holding a rainbow umbrella.
They've seen some shit.
It looks like it's the third day of Mardi Gras.
Yeah. No, look
Please identify yourself
Especially if you are the listener to this right now
Yes
I'm talking about you on the pod
Yeah
No, I don't know them
Well, with that out of the way
Gabriella Labucci
Hello
Welcome to the pod
Thank you for having me
Can't wait to get in the bunker
Oh, wow
We'll pray
Well, honestly, I can't make any promises Well, no, actually, I already know I'm not making it in the bunker Because you we'll pray about i can't make any promises well no actually i
already know i'm not making it in the bunker because you've got baby slut who's already going
in she has already gone in and vanity yeah i have no hopes theresa theresa problem i'll just knock
on the window hello let me in please yes well that is there's a bit of room outside for actually
what i'm going to do is like when whatever's killing us i'm just gonna like hold a very
cunty pose yeah and you'll watch me decay away,
but I'll just remain in the pose and not scream.
Yes.
Yeah, like Pompeii style.
Just fade away into nothing, but very glamorously
because I'm quite clearly known for giving glamour.
Yeah, I would say, you know, listener, I mean,
obviously if you're listening to this,
you might have an inkling as to who Gabrielle Labucci is.
However, if you do not
know she's a glamazon she's what i describe as model-esque diva-dom is her domain would you say
absolutely what do the kids say she shit in the mother toilet and did not flush she's shot in the
mother who says that the children the youth of today. The youth. The children say she shit in the mother toilet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They do.
They do.
She was mothering.
What do you mean?
She was mothering and she shat in the mother toilet.
She shat in the mother toilet.
Why do people have to talk about shit?
Because poo is funny.
We're drag queens.
Top tier comedy.
So, Gabriella, you were a contestant in a popular reality television show here in Australia.
I was.
Deal or no deal?
Yes.
a popular reality television show here in Australia.
I was.
Deal or no deal?
Yes.
As discussed last week, Zelda Moon threw some casual shade.
Was it?
No.
You will go back and listen to this and you'll be like,
oh, I sat in her room.
When you listen to that episode, message me and we'll talk it out.
No messaging, just block.
Have you blocked many people?
A couple.
Yeah. A couple.
Who's like the most famous person you've blocked?
No one famous.
No, just random boring people who are just like, hey, here's my genitals.
Oh.
I'm like, I don't.
Micropines or regular people?
No, no micropines, unfortunately, because if they sent that to me,
I would upload them to a stock file website that I could then put it on
Wikipedia and compete for top place.
Absolutely.
As one does.
Yes.
I mean, we should try and make a play for, like, micropenis top image.
Very camp.
Very camp.
I'm here for that.
We could just, like, get AI to generate one.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, like, I think that I've definitely encountered some micropenises
in my time, and so I think I could go back and ask, see if I could get a snap.
Why not?
I'm yet to encounter one, but I'm waiting for the day.
A button.
Just a singular button.
I'll add it into my button mix.
It's my sewing basket.
And so you were on Deal or No Deal.
But can you tell me a bit about how weighty is the case
that you hold in deal or no deal?
Well, I'll let you in on a secret.
It's not real.
It's actually green-screened in.
Shut up.
What?
Oh, sorry, I'm getting my shows mixed up because I always ask,
is RuPaul actually there?
Is she green-screened in?
No, just the suitcases on deal or no deal are green-screened.
No, it's just a regular little briefcase.
It's not that weighty, but there's a little ledge that you hold it on,
so you're not actually holding it the whole time.
But they say you need to hold it with your right hand
and undo it with the left hand.
What if you left-handed?
You're fucked.
Wow.
They say, no lefties on this program.
And can you, like, sneak a look or is it?
No.
No, they will tell you off.
It's very camp.
Although when I was filming, there was this one little old lady
in the front row and people would open up and she's like,
what did they say?
What's in their case?
It was so funny because she was there to play her own game
and not to make TV.
Amazing.
But you didn't win.
No, I didn't get a correct guess.
However, my guess was for $50,000 in hopes that I would be on TV
and get $50,000, but it's not meant to be.
No, you can go to ISIS, see if you can borrow some of hers.
I prefer Al-Qaeda but anyway
Cut that out
I was on stage the other night
At Circuit
Everyone was talking about the Madeira Awards
And ISIS is up for the same award that I'm up for
Which is Melbourne's favourite drag queen
Not seamstress
I know, after all the work I put in
But I was like I think, is anyone here pro-ISIS?
Because I think gays against ISIS, right?
If you're pro-ISIS, put up your hands because I need to make note of who they are.
And, like, no one in the room got it for so long.
They just thought I was being a cunt about ISIS-Avis Lorraine
instead of just being a stupid binti.
No, not IBS Anus Pupen, which I know you are very fond of as a picker.
I do.
Fun story.
I'm actually wearing this T-shirt.
So have you seen Isis' merch?
Yes.
So I famously went to her artist and got a T-shirt made
that is exactly the same as Isis' merch.
It says IBS anus poop pen because I think it's the easiest thing in the world.
That is so good.
I messaged Isis and I was like, hey, can I use your artwork and do this?
She's like, if you're not going to sell them and it's just for you, sure, why not?
So I approached the artist, Baylamore.
Hello, darling.
Oh, it's Baylamore.
Yeah, Baylamore designed it.
I like it.
It's fab.
Yeah, I commissioned Bay to do the exact same artwork just with different lettering.
That is so stupid.
Does it even have like the little?
It's exactly the same.
That's amazing.
Identical.
I love it.
Anus poopin'.
Anus poopin'.
I want one.
Well, that's it.
You're going to have to start selling.
You can't.
You can't.
I think like, yeah, we need to popularize drag merch
and then drag mockery merch that just is there to make fun of whoever it is.
Yeah.
Yes.
Drag merch needs to be more dumb.
Yeah.
More dumb merch.
More dumb merch, please.
No matter how much I push, though, whenever I like, you know, trot out Fartseeman, Fart Simone, she just gives me the most rage-filled blank stare.
And I'm like, what?
Far Seaman.
She doesn't get it.
That's why she's angry. She's like, I don't understand.
What's the joke?
I like Art is a Moan.
Art is a Moan is good.
That's great.
She should have sold that as a T-shirt.
I love the story that she tells of she was in America
and there was someone who came up to her and recognised her
from her Insta handle and she was like, wrist, wrist.
Because her handle is artist.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At wrist.
Yeah, they thought it was wrist.
I thought that's so camp.
She was too tricky for her own good with that one.
So clever.
She was so tricky and sneaky.
Gab, won't you tell us something about that tall woman?
Oh.
The people want to know.
About that tall woman, Grandenya.
Well, she owns a castle.
What does she smell like?
What does RuPaul smell like?
RuPaul smells like, I honestly have no idea what the fragrance is,
but she stinks really goodly.
Yeah.
Is that goodly?
Goodly, yeah, yeah.
Before she even comes through that door,
you can smell this waft just coming through and you're just like,
oh, she's here.
Brace yourself. It's like in a horror movie how the fog's creeping comes through and then you can smell her and it just lingers through the room for hours after
she's gone amazing and that's hello kitty grape or what um no no but that one also does linger
around but um not i don't think it should yeah it. It's not great. That is good.
That is a good fun fact.
Wait, how do you describe the scent though?
Well, I think Delta Work talked about it one time.
It's a Lancôme perfume.
Is it woody?
Is it floral?
Is it, what are we talking?
Wealthy.
Wealthy.
It smells like money.
It does.
It smells like money.
Like fresh from the mint.
I honestly, I have no recollection of what it smelled like.
I just remember it being good and very potent.
Well, that's not fucking helpful, is it?
No.
No.
It smelled like green screen.
You're like, I don't know.
It definitely existed and she was there.
I mean, that's the thing.
If she was on green screen, they would have softened the lighting up a bit.
Would they?
Because they light her like the sun is pointed at her face
She is the sun, we all revolve around her
You can see the wall behind her on your season
And it's like her shadow is being burnt into the pink wall
Fun fact, there isn't even a wall, it's green screen
It's all green screen, the whole stage, the whole everything is green screen
My other question that I have for you, which I haven't asked
Is on the show.
Deal or no deal?
On the show Deal or No Deal, it was like deeply inferred that you had
like a really like you were like a real party kid festival rat girlie
back in the day.
Oh, yeah.
Can you tell me a bit more about that, Gabriella?
Well, back when I used to hate myself, I got on a lot of gear.
In all the party drugs, anything I could get my grubby little mitts on,
I would take it.
How old were you at that time?
Well, how old am I now?
That's the question.
It would have been between the ages of like 18 to 20,
and then I dated someone and I stopped for him because I loved him
and he didn't want me to do those naughty drugs.
Oh, my God.
And then I broke up with him and then I did more naughty drugs
until the age of maybe like 30.
Yeah.
And how was his dick?
The drugs?
No, the ex-boyfriend.
It happened.
It was present.
It wasn't a micropene but it wasn't an American challenge.
Wow.
Incredible.
So, listener, if you're not familiar,
the American challenge is a very girthy, girthy purple dildo
available now for $259 on Amazon.
It's really expensive.
You can get it at Sexyland as well.
Can you?
Yeah.
Where is Sexyland, please?
They have the airport store.
They have Moorabbin.
They have Sunshine.
My friend used to work at Sexyland for like 10 years.
But now he works for a new company and he's about to go to the trade show
in Barcelona where literally the whole weekend is just spent walking around
looking at different manufacturers manufacturers dildos and
like you know stims and um uh sleeves and all that sort of stuff barcelona barcelona bathtub
yeah um i love that i just think uh there is a certain like worldliness that comes from a drag
queen that has seen like the inside of a port-a-potty
on day seven at like a music festival um and that is what comes across yeah i have unfortunately and
that shit was my own because because um back in the day when i was getting on all this gear and
stuff i would know it was about to like hit me and hit me hard because i needed to shit and shit now yeah well that's no one tells you about like um like at a club there will come a time where the
mdma shit will appear like what yeah there comes a certain point in the night where it like
literally is like wow there are smells in this room that shouldn't exist. It makes you shit.
I instantly just need to just snap a log off.
And as I'm doing so, my heartbeat is rising.
My vibes are changing.
I'm in a great mood.
I'm evacuating my bells and I'm ready to boogie.
So snap a log off.
Well, yes. With your asshole. The log being with your arsehole.
The log being my poo-poo, snapping off with my sphincter.
Okay, well, we've lowered the tone enough here.
But were you like a person who would dance until like nine in the morning
and then go to a kick-on?
So, were you like bowing out?
It really just depended on the event.
Like if it was at a festival, I would just go till I turned the music off yeah wow and then sleep yeah or not i don't know it depends what drugs
back then as well yeah that's how i channeled on my bike i got my daughter i can't hold in my hand
incredible and now you're like a bit more of a reformed girl i'm a refined woman yeah good good
i've aged like fine wine cheap fine wine
but wine nonetheless because that was the mystery i was like you know like you only get a little
snapshot of each person's personality and then they'll say something that you're like
wait and when like you were explaining the origin of your name i was like
wait it's so she's like a rock dog bitch that's like been around It's so, so weird because you say so much
Because the filming days like were 12, 13, 14 hour days
Depending on what day it was
And you have no idea what's going to make the edit
Like I was talking about so much stuff that only made
That only came to light like towards the end of the season
But I was talking about that like way back when like episode one
So I was like, I don't know what's happening here
I'm deadly afraid of kites
And I never told them about that fear of kites
Because had I done that, Amanda, the producer, would have been like,
for the makeover challenge, turn your makeover partner into a kite.
Wait, you're afraid of kites?
I'm not.
Oh, what?
Yes, and, you know, Ariana Grande.
The improv challenge.
I see.
The one that I actually won thinking.
Well, you could have been.
I don't know.
That's why I'm here on the pod.
Hello, listener.
This is now my pod.
Why haven't you done a pod?
When's your pod coming?
Because I'm not a barista.
I don't know how to use a little pod to make the cafe.
Oh, my God.
Go away.
That's enough.
I get it.
That's a coffee joke for you because I'm in Melbourne.
Shut up.
What else is George Clooney doing? I get it. It's a coffee joke for you because I'm in Melbourne. Shut up. How?
What else is George Clooney doing?
Not me.
Amal Clooney.
Which famously is how Amal got her name.
Is it?
Really?
Yeah, she used to be Amal, but people just kept on saying Amal,
and she was like, well, the gays love Amal, so she was Amal Clooney.
Amazing.
But then she just dropped the Clooney because probably legal reasons.
Drop the Clooney.
It's cleaner.
Yeah, snap it off.
Yeah, snap a Clooney off.
Shut up.
What?
I'm getting with it.
I shit the mother toilet or something.
Zelda is mothering.
Anyway, so who's your favourite X-Men character?
I'm much like Lazy Susan where I go,
that's a Wolverine and that's a Wolverine and that one there,
that's Wolverine.
We're all Wolverines inside.
I like the one that can't listen to this podcast because they're bald.
Yeah.
Xavier.
Sure.
Sure.
I like the one that Judy Garland played.
Who would Judy play if she was alive now?
Storm, obviously. Tornado.
Do you think? Oh, yeah, because she's got the
I answer that way too quickly.
Well, that's
I wonder, could she do a jean?
Judy Garland? Yeah.
Well, she's dead, no.
She can't do anything.
She can rot.
She's probably rotted.
I think she's a skeleton at this point
Aren't we all though?
Brave
Have either of you ever been to
The whatever cathedral
Where they have like
The body part
I've been to a cathedral in Italy
Where there's like some priest or something
Like in a little cabinet
What's that about?
You know what I mean.
Have you seen those?
Yeah, but like that's in a lot of Italian.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Generally, it's a concept that's out there.
But have you ever seen one of those?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
St. Francis of Assisi or whatever the fuck.
I love that.
Bringing more body parts.
I think that, like, we need, I mean, we've discussed this previously,
but we need, like, mummified remains at Fed Square.
I would love that.
Like at Tiananmen Square, how you can see Chairman Mao and you're like,
good, he's still there.
But also.
Well, you know, you've just got to know where he is.
Don't have it changed.
Now on this show, Gabriella.
Yes. We talk a lot about the apocalypse
We do
And so now it is your job as our guest
To tell us how is the world ending this week?
Ooh, that is a great question
Obviously, spontaneous combustion
Obviously
Spontaneous combustion
No rhyme or reason, just the world one day decided to go bang
I like that
And she's dead
She's gone
Amazing
And so what everyone burst into flames
Or the whole planet
Yes
Absolutely
I like it
Okay well with that out of the way
I don't know
Is there anything left to cover
Or should we dive in
Or tell us one more fun fact
No you've got to ask a question
Ask an invasive
question oh okay like what would a hard-hitting interviewer ask when you were 15 how did you
celebrate your birthday i didn't oh full star no i honestly don't know my birthday is on the 13th
of december fuck you taylor swift for stealing that one. That's hard.
So I always got lumped in with like the Christmas sort of shit anyway.
I didn't really get to be at school with my friends
and all that sort of stuff.
So it was never really a big, big deal.
But it's the holidays.
You know that everyone's going to be available.
Well, I think I just worked at Macca's.
When you were 15?
Yeah.
With a little radio headset?
Yeah.
Well, McDonald's going to take your order. With a little radio headset? Yeah. Well, McDonald's, can I take your order?
Oh.
Yeah, all that shit.
Incredible.
Because she wanted to make money from the second she could.
So she could buy drugs.
14, nine months.
I literally worked at Macca's from 14, nine months until just before 19.
Wow.
And then what?
Then I went to Petstock where I was working in retail slash dog grooming.
Yes, I'm a groomer drag queen.
And then I went to a supermarket.
I worked at RGA.
I've worked at Woolies.
I've worked in.
Wait, you did both?
I went from one then to the other.
I was a dog groomer at a doggy daycare centre.
I've worked in disability.
I've done a fair bit, yeah.
Why?
Why so many things?
I needed money for drugs.
Oh, that's right.
Yes, yes. Groom I needed money for drugs. Oh, that's right.
Yes, yes.
Grooming those dogs for drugs. Hi.
Lazy, do you remember when I went on that date with the guy
who I thought was a veterinarian and then after the date I was like,
it turns out he's a dog groomer?
She's like, oh, yeah, he's a vet.
Someone's talking about dogs.
Did the date consist of you like plucking dog hair out of his skin?
Wait, does that happen?
Yeah.
Do you get hair splinters?
Yeah, absolutely.
Like in my elbows every night I would just have to tweeze dog hair
out of my elbows because like especially like Jack Russell's
and really like coarse wire hair dogs, it just like pierces the skin.
I would always find it in my feet, in my fingers.
Oh, my God.
That makes me want to actually die because that happens to our friend
who's a barber, but that's human.
Do you watch Girl with a Dog on YouTube?
You know that channel?
No.
Okay.
No, I don't know her.
Should I?
She's fabulous.
She just like does difficult.
Who is she?
What's her story?
What does she do for work?
I think she's Canadian.
She's a pet groomer.
And she just takes on like really difficult client difficult clientele that, like, other groomers will, like, send back
because the dog's too crazy.
And she'll, like, tie them up and put on, like, the happy hood and stuff.
That's a happy hood.
It is a hard job.
And people who do it do not get paid enough to do it.
I just am, like, couldn't pay me enough.
Just would not.
I was doing it for, like, $23 an hour.
Wow. That's kind of good compared to
mcdonald's well not really i think mac is also probably getting about 23 an hour i climbed the
chain went to management at 18 i was running the store doing the overnight shifts at 18 years old
wow what am i gonna do if i got fucking threatened with a knife were you ever threatened no you
threatened back yeah that's right well my boyfriend worked at the Melbourne Central McDonald's for a while.
And he said that, yeah.
He also wanted the money, but not for drugs, but fiscal responsibility.
How responsible?
I know, it's disgusting.
But he said that every time a train would come in,
there'd be a giant wind that would blow bugs into the salad bar
because it's that little kiosk window in the station.
And they'd have to just go in and, like, pick the bugs and debris
out of the train tunnel salad hopper.
Would they not have, like, the train timetable and be like,
oh, it's about to come, close the lid.
Close it, open it, close it, open it's about to come. Close the lid. Close it. Open it.
Close it.
Open it.
It's just the vision of that thing.
Like, oh, bug wave coming.
It's extra protein.
That's right.
No one's ever died from germs and bugs in food.
I mean, people pay to eat like what, cricket tacos and all that crap.
That's right.
So what's a little cricket in your Big Mac?
That's right.
We've got bugs in the bunker.
You're right, everyone.
Grow up. Grow up.
Grow up.
Just eat it.
If you're eating McDonald's, you shouldn't be eating salad anyway, darling.
Yeah.
Get it together.
Yeah.
And with that, we'll be right back.
Be right back.
To tomorrow.
And welcome back.
Okay, it is now time for our very first category of the evening.
Now, I think that this is probably, this is quite a daring move on our behalf because it does put a lot of um pressure expectation on you to kind of fill us in because we've selected
which sailor scout of the show sailor moon should go into the bunker. However, my knowledge of Sailor Moon extends to Cheese TV.
Basically, that's it.
But I think you know a little bit more.
I do know some stuff and things, yes.
I already have an answer ready to go.
Don't you worry.
So I'm going to just start with my base understanding.
Moony, old sailor, she's a schoolgirl.
And then one day
Her cat starts talking to her
Luna
I'm gonna stop you right there
Initially not her cat
She finds the cat on the street
The cat has a bandaid on its head
And she goes, oh this poor cat's got a bandaid on its head
So she removes the bandaid, sees the crescent moon
And it's on from there
And she finds out that she's a princess
Who's forgotten her memory Oh no, you do not know the premise of this show at all how dare you
what's her story why is she why does she inherit the powers of the moon
because 90s anime that's why that's why but she's not like fabled they don't know that she's the
princess they know that she's a guardian of the moon kingdom okay and um she has
to find all of her other ones all of the inner uh solar what's called solar system yeah and they're
all like the the the power in the theme of the song yeah all that sort of stuff yeah um okay
where was i going with this and then in the like then each girl has like a different power yes
that's like specific to their planet kind of.
Like Mars is fire.
It's the red planet.
Yeah.
And then Mercury is water.
Bubbles.
Bubbles.
Sorry, I forgot the fundamental element.
It's water.
It's mist.
It's bubbles.
It's ice.
It's blue.
Yeah.
It's the power of blue.
And then Venus, whose power is? Love, baby. It's love. It's the power of blue And then Venus Whose power is Love baby
It's love
What's love?
What does she do with love?
She has Venus' heart chain
In a circle
And she has like
This chain of hearts
That she'll like
Whip people with
So she's just got a weapon
Yeah well yes
And she also gets a sword
Later on in the series
Like if you like
Gave her an AK-47
But put a love heart on it
It's like
Oh the power is love
I'm like
I'm pretty sure her power is gun.
She also has a white cat.
Good.
It's the power of the pussy.
Do you think she would be a good match for Marquis from Captain Planet
who also had the power of heart?
Look, given the distance, I don't think it's going to work out.
Long distance relationships are hard times.
It's not going to work.
I don't think it's going to work out Long distance relationships are hard times
It's not going to work
And then there is
There's some Sailor Scouts that are only featured
In the Japanese version of the show
Like the Japanese later seasons
That never aired
Don't listen to her
Is this what you feel when she's talking about X-Men?
But I'm quite offended
Because she's coming out with this kind openness
Whenever I talk about anything, she's like,
that fucking stupid shut up.
And now she's like, dearest guest, Gabriela,
so my understanding of this thing you like, is that correct?
Yeah.
Oh, no, you say.
You say.
Fuck you.
Anyway, Gabriela, won't you tell us about Sailor Moon?
But wait, isn't it that Sailor Uranus isn't in the actual –
No, they are.
They are.
They come in much later, though.
Not much later.
It just seems like much later because you were watching it on Cheese TV,
which is one episode per day.
But if you buy the DVD box set on eBay for $119 –
Well, not all of us, you know, make that big city bucks from McDonald's.
Well, yes.
Neither did I.
I spent it all on drugs.
The first season is just like the five of the girls.
Wait, which is moon, Mercury, Mars, Venus, Jupiter.
Yes, correct.
Ding.
Five points.
Amazing.
And then I think it's the next season or the season after that you start
to get the other girls.
And who are the other girls?
Neptune, Uranus, Pluto and Saturn.
And then Uranus is a lesbian.
Is that true?
Yes.
With Neptune.
And that was like later on in the show.
Although there's a lot of grey area because like in the Japanese version,
later on in the show.
Although there's a lot of grey area because like in the Japanese version,
the rendition, if you will, Uranus is, I believe, non-binary.
Yeah, we call it grey area plus.
Yeah, LGBTQIA plus.
Less, I love that.
But they're cousins, I believe, in the English dubbing.
Whoa.
Because there's a scene where like they go in for a kiss and she's like,
hey, I need to ask you something.
Shall we go over here now?
Cool.
Okay.
And they don't make out, but they do.
Wow.
That's terrible.
Yeah.
I like it.
It's like they just remove her from the cell and she's just making out with the air.
But they recently re-released it, Sailor Moon Crystal,
I believe it's called, and that one is more true to the anime,
like to the manga.
And that one's a bit more.
And what's the evil woman's name?
Which one?
The main evil woman. Which one?
You would know Queen Beryl.
Queen Beryl.
That's a fun name.
That's really good.
Well, why does she have the name of a woman that works at the office at your school?
Well, it's not about the name.
It's about the stone.
Oh, Beryl.
Is Beryl a stone?
Yes, Beryl is a gemstone.
So, wait.
Are the villains based off stones and the women are based off-
There's Zoysite, Nephite, Kunzite, something-ite.
They're all ites.
Fucking hell. They're all ites Fucking hell
They're all stones
Planets and stones
Beryl
Beryl
And what's Beryl's power?
Being
Serving cunt
Like shitting in the mother toilet
Wow
Sitting on a throne
And being a cunty redhead
I love her
Can we say cunt on the pod?
Cunt cunt cunt
We're not censored
There's no one censoring this
Except for I guess
Like common decency.
Oh, you picked the wrong guest.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Would you say, like, is your family, like, lewd?
Lewd?
Like, would your family talk about shit and piss a lot?
To a degree.
Like, were they shocked?
No.
When you were, like, shitting in the mother toilet?
No. No, they they go that's Gabby
She's probably just trying to save money for drugs
Yeah
Incredible
Okay well
Right I feel very educated
So which one do you like
Well no no no
Zelda darling why don't you
Zelda my dear sister.
You like this?
You like that?
Who do you want?
You know about Sailor Moon.
You got your name from Sailor Moon.
No, I didn't.
Zelda got her name from Sailor Moon.
Oh, my God.
I never really watched Sailor Moon.
Oh, you don't really like Japanese things.
Oh, my God.
I did watch it a little bit, and then I watched Crystal for a bit.
But I was never like –
How long's a bit?
Because a bit could mean like I watched 70 episodes.
Yeah, no, this is like when I played Final Fantasy,
but I played it for 70 hours.
Yeah, just a bit.
So like a bit, but like not enough to like know all the things you say.
Beryl? Like a bit, but like not enough to like know all the things you say. But.
Beryl.
Yeah, I don't know which one's my favorite.
I feel like just Ms. Moon, Sailor Moon.
But Chibi Moon, I'm enticed by that hair.
What's Chibi Moon?
You say.
Sailor Mini Moon.
You can't just be like, mystery.
In the future, Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask, they do the nasty.
Oh, my God.
I forgot about Tuxedo Mask.
And they have a wee baby.
However, said baby comes back in time to meet teenage Sailor Moon.
And she's hanging out with her daughter.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
And she's got pink hair with big spikes.
Wow.
She's got pink hair?
Yeah.
They're dyeing the child's hair or it just came out of the way?
Naturally pink, yeah.
Fucking hell.
Trauma will do that to a baby.
Yeah, how old is Chibi Moon?
How old is Sailor Moon?
Who knows?
I think she's like 14, 15.
Chibi Moon might be kind of like Cable in a way.
Cable?
Never mind.
You keep.
Is that an X-Men?
Yeah.
It's like...
Yeah.
Never mind.
Okay, well...
But it kind of is.
It's kind of the same story.
Did she come back to save them or just, like, hang out?
I don't remember.
I was too drunk.
Well, if it's to save them, then Chibi Moon is Cable.
No, I think she went back to save her timeline.
Well, yeah.
Because she needed the mystical imperial silver crystal,
whatever it was called.
And what does Beryl want in all this?
She's not in this storyline.
Well, that sounds like a dumb storyline.
Where's Beryl?
She's dead.
She died.
Did they kill Beryl?
Yeah, in season one.
Oh, do you know what killed Beryl at my high school?
High cholesterol. Oh, do you know what killed Beryl at my high school? High cholesterol.
Was she the gym teacher?
No, she's the office lady, Beryl.
But I think you've raised an interesting point of what about Tuxedo Mask?
Well, he's not a Sailor Scout, is he?
No, but he's better than they are.
He is the prince of the Earth Kingdom.
Fucking hell. Why is, okay, so he wears a t they are. He is the prince of the Earth Kingdom. Fucking hell.
Why is, okay, so he wears a tuxedo or does he rent?
I think that he has a couturier that he's designing them for.
Isis, okay.
Yeah, Isis is just whipping up a new tux for Tuxedo Mask every single episode
because he gets tears in them from all of these battles he's had.
And he's thrown all those roses.
He's got the power of throwing roses.
He's a florist.
Is he a florist?
He could be if he wanted to be.
He's a prince.
He's part of a lineage.
Well, he could have, you know.
It's good to still be part of the workforce, you know.
I feel like you're contributing.
I was at a wedding recently and the mother of the bride was like,
my husband's the
one in the tuxedo and i was like that one just pointing to a man in a suit and she said no i
said tuxedo and then i put it to another man in a suit she's like no i said tuxedo and i was like
i'm just gonna leave now that's fair yeah took me. Did you get her number? Yeah. I like the one with short dark hair.
What's her name?
Yeah, Greenie.
Greenie.
Mercury.
I love her.
The one with the bubbles.
The short blue hair.
Number one, Bubbles is funny.
She's blue.
She's not greenie.
As a power.
And she's got that short bob that's quite cunty.
As the kids would say, a fuck-ass bob.
Yes.
That one I know.
And she seems like, yeah,
I just think there's something about the power of bubbles.
What a fucking stupid thing.
Yeah.
But she was really smart.
She was like the brains of the operation.
She got like a little computer, a little supercomputer.
It was like a little handheld compact phone.
I love smart.
And the cat gave it to her and was like,
I don't trust this with Sailor Moon.
She's too dumb.
Do you think that why you liked Sailor Moon so much
Was because it really like
The parallels between that and your drug-fueled lifestyle
Were like perfect
It was like
The cat gave her the supercomputer compact
It makes sense
He was a little fair child
This is the gateway drug
Yeah
Matt, do you have any
Inklings towards any particular scout?
I don't have any, sorry Matt, wow I didn any Inklings towards any particular scout? Again, sorry
Matt, wow
I didn't watch any Sailor Moon
Wait, you weren't watching anything on Cheese TV?
He was watching Dragon Ball Z
He's a boy
No, I didn't really
I didn't have any
Shows in the 90s
Because I went to this
Hippie's town of school I didn't have a TV Oh, you just didn't have a TV in the 90s. Because I went to this hippie's town of school. I didn't have a TV.
Oh, you just didn't have a TV in the house?
No, we had a little one
but it was like...
It was a special reward day.
Yeah, I got to watch one thing.
Like on VHS on the weekend or something.
Wait, what would you get to watch? What was your one tape?
What was your...
I don't know, probably a Disney...
Like The Jungle book or something
like you just have no media literacy from the 1990s not really no people talk to you about
things that have happened and you just don't have anything to say
i caught up but i i didn't catch up on sailor moon sorry do you know what any of them look like
sailor moon she kind of has, like, long legs.
Look, I will confirm, they all have legs.
Yes.
But hers are quite long, aren't they?
They're all quite long.
Yeah.
And she has a skirt above her knee.
Well, you remember that part.
And she has blonde hair.
She was dressed like a sailor.
Well, yes.
Kind of, yeah.
She was dressed like a sailor, like a moon. She was dressed like the moon, yeah. Yeah, it was a sailor body Well, yes. Kind of, yeah. She was dressed like a sailor, like a moon.
She was dressed like the moon, yeah.
Yeah, it was a sailor body, long legs, and then a moon face.
That's all I remember.
Is that right?
Yeah.
So I would say let's put her in.
Okay, great.
The eponymous sailor moon.
Yeah.
Gab, who's your fave?
Without a doubt, Sailor Pluto.
Oh, I knew you were going to come out with a big cut.
Because she is the keeper of time and bitch walks around with a giant staff,
which happens to be a key.
Yeah.
A key to what?
Time itself.
Yeah.
So someone's locked time.
Yeah, it's like a big door and she can open and close and go into like a time
Is that how the little baby came back through time?
Well, she was given a time key from Sailor Pluto, which i can show you actually oh my god yes what's about to happen
yes how many keys do you have on your arm um at least two um so this this tattoo right here is a
time key that little chibi moon uses to get from the past to the i can see five other keys on your
arm what are the other keys are Are any of them keyblades?
A teriyaki, a monkey, a bukkake.
Fucking hell.
All the keys, you know.
They're cancelled.
I love a good key.
Good for a bump.
Yeah, fair.
So Pluto.
Yes, please.
I love Sailor Pluto because she's got the keys and does the time
and she's got very long dark green hair and she's very slay.
She was also my choice.
Oh, fabulous.
Well, then Pluto it is, darling. It's gorgeous is darling because i mean if she got really bad in the bunker and you know the human race is going to die
because they've run out of resources or whatever she could just turn back time
she can't turn back time oh are they the rules is that against the rules no it's an actor who plays
no no sailor pluto and she just walks around the bunker doing meet and greets. And she has a large key problem.
We can't put a celestial level of ability in.
So she can be there, she just can't have her stick.
Well, no, she gets breaks and sometimes she gets out of her makeup.
In Lazy's Boring Bunker, there's an actor.
And in The Good Bunker, she's there.
But she can't escape.
I feel like she can't take the weapon.
Okay, okay. Wait, so you're just taking... Well, she can't use I feel like that She can't take the weapon Okay okay
Yeah
Wait so you're just
Well she can't use her time
Maybe I want to change my scout
No she's still got the same hair though
And it's so good
Well that's true
But they all have hair on their head
Yeah but not like that
Unlike some of us
Yes also listener
If you're bald
Why are you listening?
I got told that you're not allowed to listen
If you're bald
That's so right
You know that I don't back that
You said that!
It was you!
I did not say, I was referencing
a previous conversation where Zelda Moon
has often come for the ball
I have not!
You have forever come for the ball
If you ask what my sexual preferences are
And? What did you say then, Zelda?
Not the Baldi
And then you
Yes
Said fuck everyone
I hate the X-Men
That's what you said
Just took things to their natural conclusion
Okay well I'd like to publicly renounce Zelda's hateful view
Because it's the Bald community
Support
Unbelievable What? It's so important Zelda's hateful view of the Bolt community.
Support.
Unbelievable.
What?
It's so important.
Play it back.
Sailor Pluto, congratulations.
Well, question.
Yeah.
Is there like heating and cooling in this bunker?
Are we going to get hot?
Are we going to get cold? Because if it's going to be a cold bunker, I don't like to be cold.
I'll have Mars because she can set a nice little fire so I can get a bit toasty.
Well, we already have some climate. We have have some climate we haven't yet decided on the
base temperature of the bunker yeah but there is no but it was like temperate just like what you'd
expect in like a basement a cool basement yeah okay but every couple there's like a huge downpour
but do you you're you're like like you're quite a petite young
woman i can't imagine that you stay very warm no i get the chill very usually yeah like on like
the drag race set you were dying i'm sure yeah i got so cold i got sick and lost my voice remember
i don't know if you know that how did you did you think do you think what do you think you got when you were sick on the show? Sickening.
Oh.
Sickening.
No, I think, so where I was set up,
because there was like the mirrors on the show,
you know, there's the workstation mirrors.
I was the third mirror along, which was like directly under the air con.
Right. And it was freezing because Rupal likes it to be very cold.
And I just think it was just like the dry air from the aircon like being on a plane
yeah i think i just because i didn't feel unwell i just had no voice right and so it just went away
and then did you wake up that morning and go oh fuck yeah yeah so the night before when i was
writing my lyrics for bmx bitches available on spotify um i wrote six verses because i didn't know if i would
be first second or third in the song so i wrote three verses for if i had a voice and three verses
for if i didn't have a voice oh my god you psycho i prepared so much so much for everything that
they were going to throw at me even if i felt cocky one week and i thought i was in the top
i would still learn the lip sync song just on the off chance they're like you were really good
you're lip syncing bitch yeah you never know watch out get out your time key you never know yeah
fuck yeah fuck it pluto done yeah love it all right lock her in get her in there and we'll be
right back after this We're back with Gabriella Labucci.
Hello, it's me.
I'm Mario.
Would you describe, were you like a gamer kid growing up?
I'm a Nintendo player.
I would say I'm a gamer, but I'm an avid Nintendo player.
Yeah.
You fall into that bracket of what we call a casual gamer.
Oh, sure. Right? Is that not a thing?
Well, I'm not like a
Fortnite, fucking
Minecraft, any of that shit. I don't know
what the kids play.
I just like a good platform
side-scroller bullshit game
that I don't have to think about. What have you been playing
lately? I've been reliving
my Super Nintendo days. I just finished
Super Metroid.
Amazing.
On the source.
Yeah, that was a good one.
Oh, it's so good.
Did you play Dread?
No.
It's really good.
Oh, the movie of that is really good.
It's really good.
Is that not Judge Dread?
No.
Metroid Dread is the latest Metroid game. Oh, the new one on the Switch?
Yeah.
Yeah, I did play that.
I was just like, what is this game called?
Dread?
I've never heard of it before.
Well, she just calls it Dread.
In the community, you just call it Dread.
No, I did play that one.
It was so scary.
Yeah, with those robot little motherfuckers chasing you.
And then like, yeah.
Is it still a woman?
Yeah.
Amazing.
I blew my nephew's man just the other week.
I bought them Smash Brothers and they're playing away.
And then I was like, he's, you know, loves Samus.
He's got that big gun.
I'm like, that's a woman.
Darling.
What do you mean?
Smash Brothers has a skin for Samus where she plays in like
clear underwear.
I didn't say that because I was like,
I don't want to sexualize this person.
No, she's a woman.
She doesn't need to be sexualized. Well, yeah, I don't feel to sexualise this person You know she's a woman She doesn't You need to be sexualised
Well yeah
I don't feel sexy RuPaul
Bullshit
Speaking of sexualised though
Bayonetta
And Sailor Pluto in the bunker
They'd be good friends
The same actress could play both of them
True
Wrong
I actually haven't
Speaking
Because no actors
It's them
That's right
It's actually them Oh's right, Selza.
It's actually them.
Oh, my God.
See, I'm still not 100% sure on the lore of this bunker.
I'm still finding my footing here.
No, there's two camps.
Camps?
Bunkers?
What are we in?
I don't know.
It's a camp bunker.
But, you know, there's two camps we fall into.
One is where magic exists and one is where rules and logic apply.
I don't want the logic one. Fuck that.
Well, you and everyone else.
But you shouldn't, you know,
you shouldn't kowtow to what the fans want
because that's how you end up with The Last Jedi.
Oh my god.
Okay, so our second
topic for tonight
is
which prank
will go into the bunker?
What delightful game shall they be playing on each other?
Pranks.
So this came from, I saw a clip of Hamish and Andy on TikTok.
And they're now podcasters too.
I don't know if you guys have heard their podcast, but don't worry.
This is the better version of that.
Anyway, they have a podcast and they were saying they used to do pranks
as part of their oeuvre.
Did they?
Back on Rove Live days.
Oh, my God.
Anyway.
Say hi to your mum for me.
Exactly.
What the?
Yeah.
Don't tell me where to go.
Yeah, don't tell me where to go And so Hamish, I believe, the bearish one
Sure, why not?
The bearish one says, he says, I was waiting in line at the store the other day
And then I opened up a kid's magazine because it said like top pranks to prank your friends.
And I just wanted to know what the kids are doing these days.
And then he started reading this like prank suggestion for a kid
to do on his friends.
And the whole time that he's reading the suggestion, I'm like,
this is immaculate.
Whoever wrote this prank is like so funny.
And I'll tell you what the prank is in a second, but so funny.
And then get to the end and they just hung shit on this prank.
And I was so mad that these two men who have just decided what the tone of Australian comedy is for the last two decades, just don't
have the taste and wherewithal to understand how fucking incredible this prank that they
were suggesting in this magazine to small children.
So the prank is, make a set of hats, five, right?
You're going to make five hats But each one larger than the last
Five sets?
No, just five individual hats
A paper hat, maybe a paper crown
But maybe a paper hat, I don't know what kind of hat
It doesn't specify
A nice fedora
A fedora, it could be any type of hat you can make
Could it be a cowboy hat?
No
Does anyone still wear a hat?
And so You're wearing a hat It's a cowboy hat? No. Does anyone still wear a hat? And so.
You're wearing a hat.
It's a beanie?
Could it be a paper beanie?
A beanie, if you will.
Shut the fuck up!
Sorry, five hats.
You're wearing on my last nerve.
Anyway, so then you make five hats.
Five hats, yes, go on.
One bigger than the last.
Each one bigger than the last, okay,
until you have five hats going up in size, okay?
And then when you have the next sleepover party that you get invited to,
sorry, Zelda.
So rude.
And then you pack them all and go to the party.
And then when you arrive, you're wearing hat number one,
the smallest hat.
And then throughout the night, you just change hat.
So the hat slowly gets bigger and bigger.
And your friends are left to wonder what's going on here.
That's so good.
It's very camp.
I do enjoy that.
But is that a prank or is that just art?
Well, that's it.
It does feel like it has.
Theatre.
There was a girl named Sherilyn who was in my year in fine arts.
Sherilyn Buds.
Yeah, Sherilyn Buds. who was in my year in fine arts at VCA.
Sherilyn Budd. And her final second year piece for sculpture, I think it was,
was to recreate this gallery space that we had, like the student gallery.
And she recreated the walls, recreated the roof,
exactly like just a few centimeters in from them.
And she made this whole room again, but just slightly off.
That's so good.
And it was just like, it was just a little bit wonky.
And the roof was just a little bit like askew.
And she was like, I just wanted to create a slight unease when you walked into the space.
And that's what the hats do for the children.
I love that.
Were there like fine art critics who came in and go, hmm, yes, I like it.
Yeah.
It was definitely, she was, people were like, oh, incredible.
Art is so stupid.
I love it.
I love it so much.
I once performed in an art gallery.
I feel like you'll enjoy this one.
I got asked to do some sort of performance piece and I was like,
oh, what bullshit can I pull out of my arsehole for this one?
So I stood on a platform in a beautiful floor-length gown.
Gorgeous.
With a loaf of bread and an array of condiments
whilst Vivaldi's Spring was playing.
Perfect.
And I would slather the condiments on the bread, take a bite, spit it out,
scream at the bread, throw it away and repeat the process.
And I called that art and I got paid to do it.
That is art.
That's great.
That is art.
I hate to tell you, but that is.
And the people were just like, oh, yes, it's a statement on consumerism.
I was like, sure, absolutely it is.
Why not?
I just wanted to scream at bread.
I hate so good bread.
Truly, though.
I love bread.
You like bread?
Bread is the MVP.
Is bread in the bunker?
We haven't decided which bread is in the bunker.
That's a great discussion.
What's your bread of choice?
Bread.
What?
Bread.
Like white bread?
Sure.
Wonder bread?
Wholemeal?
Sure. Multigrain? That's not how decisions work, Gabriella. Bread What? Bread Like white bread? Sure Wonder bread? Wholemeal? Sure
Multigrain?
That's not how decisions work, Gabriella
Perhaps a nice cob loaf
Oh, she's a fancy little bitch
So I can hollow it out and make a nice spinach dip or something to go in it
Yes
And then use the bits to get it
Which is weird because there are enough bits
Yeah, how could you?
And then you just use your hands and just.
Just eat.
We're in a bunker for fuck's sake.
I don't think we're past using our hands to eat.
Well, that's what I mean.
Did cutlery make the bunker?
Who knows?
I don't know.
Well, I've learned a lot about.
Maybe it's a vault now.
A vault?
One from the vaults.
Like a vault from Fallout, you know.
Oh my God.
Bunker content is going through the roof anyway anyway okay um so so hang
on they made fun of a children's book prank and they were just like imagine that stupid kid
disappearing to go and change hats they're so straight and i was like
that's not the funny thing here the funny thing is how funny it is that the hat is slowly getting
bigger and the giggles you would get yourself in like they're not gonna notice the hat is slightly
bigger oh my god oh i love a slightly bigger hat on a 10 yearyear-old. Yeah, that's really good. That's so funny. Also going to a sleepover party wearing a paper-made hat.
Coming through the front door.
Hi, why are you wearing that hat?
I just made it.
I just thought it was really cool.
It's fashionable.
Don't you make your own hats?
He'd be the most popular kid in school.
He's the legend with no no-bounds.
Maybe it's a hat party.
Everyone had to wear a hat to come.
That's right. Oh, God. I'd love a hat party. Everyone had to wear a hat to come. That's right.
Oh, God.
I'd love a hat party.
I miss good old hat parties.
They don't throw them like they used to.
Maybe we should throw a hat party.
Every day can be a hat party.
Like a club night, but everyone has to wear a hat.
Oh, with a secret under it?
Sure.
The secret is I'm bald.
Worst kept secret.
You're talking about it on a podcast.
It wasn't on TV at all.
Did you have random friends reach out to you that you'd never spoken to before?
A couple.
Be like, hey, I saw you on television.
A couple.
A couple.
And I was just like, thanks.
Did you feel like a power of them suddenly?
No, because I'm not better with them, better than them,
because without them watching the show, I have no power, you see.
Oh, see, that's very good.
You're good at being a famous television personality
because that makes you sound very gracious.
I am.
I'm very appreciative to have had the opportunity that I had
and I need to world peace and all that shit.
Yeah, fuck.
Okay, well, great.
Excellent.
And how do you feel about pranks?
Love, love a good prank.
Love being dumb. However, if we're actually picking about pranks? Love. Love a good prank. Love being dumb.
However, if we're actually picking a real prank that's not like a bit,
I think my favorite prank would be the cling wrap on the toilet.
Have you done that in real life?
I've never done it, but I've always wanted to.
But I just think I'd probably be the poor bastard who has to clean it up.
Yeah.
And I don't want to do that.
But I think it's very funny.
What is it?
Are you serious?
So, you know a toilet, right?
Yeah.
The place where you snap a log off, you know, all that.
Lift up the toilet seat, right?
You're following?
You're following Zelda Moon?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You lift up the toilet seat and you put cling wrap over the toilet.
Like over the...
Over the porcelain bowl.
Uh-huh.
And then you put the seat down.
Yeah.
So, if someone tries to urinate or shit on that, it's just on.
But it's going to be shiny and reflective.
People are dumb if they're in a hurry and they need a piss and shit.
What if they've just taken the goog for the night and they have to go and have a goog?
Then I hope she's got a spare pair of underwear because that's going to be a mess.
That's good.
Okay, that's a good, great starting point.
Zelda Moon, what prank?
Have you ever pulled a prank?
No.
No, you have.
You have.
You told me about it.
Yes.
What prank?
You put a fake snake in your brother's bed.
Oh, my brother's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he's terrified of snakes.
Yeah.
That's a classic prank.
Okay.
Yeah. And he got so angry at you. Yeah. That's a classic prank. Okay, yeah.
And he got so angry at you.
Yes.
Not great jokester, my brother.
He should try wearing hats.
I don't know how he'd look in a hat.
Just listen to me.
If you want to just message in if you think Zelda's brother would look good in a hat.
I'd love to know. If you want to just message in if you think Zelda's brother would look good in a hat. I'd love to know.
So, yeah, let me know.
We might do a poll.
I just, you know what I hate?
It's like the modern day like social media fake prank.
Like a prank that isn't real.
Yes.
For fucking clickbait and likes and they keep coming up on my facebook when i go on to like
i don't know why i would do that but it's like you know i watched someone came up the other day
and it's this woman on the phone a terrible actor derivative by a pool and she's like on the phone
and it's like her fucking apparently like husband with a blow up alligator toy on a piece of string.
And he's like creeping up behind her and ties it to her bra strap while she's on the phone and doesn't fucking feel it.
Like it's obviously.
She has nerve damage.
That's what she's talking to a doctor about.
And then she like, this video goes for like four minutes.
And you watched it all.
Well, I had to know what happened.
And she's pacing around on the fucking phone.
And then at the end, she turns around and like sees the alligator
and is like, oh no, an alligator.
And then the video ends.
RuPaul was there?
And I hated it so much.
And, like, I hate thought couples who are, like,
doing something crazy with my hot boyfriend.
Really evil and sad.
Like, hate it.
Ooh, like, yeah.
When they're, like, dumping shit on people while they're sleeping.
Oh, no, I hate that shit.
I hate that shit.
It's, like, those people's they're sleeping. Oh, no. I hate that shit. I hate that shit. It's like those people's lives are awful.
But imagine being the people who absorb that content and enjoy it.
Yeah.
Imagine how fucking pathetic their lives are.
You watched the whole thing.
Yeah, but I hated it.
But there's no other viewer.
But you read the comments and everyone's like.
Well, you've heard about the, what is it?
Dead internet theory?
Say more.
It's like where the internet has been so, like, there's, you know.
That's full of bots.
There's bots online.
Yeah.
And so there will come a point at which the saturation point is reached
where there's no longer enough people to balance out the whole internet
that's being ruled by bots just making
generic content and then other bots liking that generic content and commenting on that generic
content so like nowadays with like an ai art the thing that they're seeing develop is like
there's these images of jesus that keep being being put out by these ai art things because
they know that they get likes and then because they know that they get likes. And then because they know that they get engagement,
it's just made this.
Jesus.
So popular.
Jesus famously most popular.
Yeah.
And then sharks.
Love shark content.
And like scuba underwater.
But now they've started to morph because all the bots.
Jesus shark.
Jesus shark.
Jesus on a shark.
Like obscene images that are like Jesus,
like melting in with sharks
And with no arms
And like a person is like fused to his body
That he's carrying off like a bus that's underwater
And it's got like 3000 likes that are all bots
And like 3000 comments that are all like this is incredible
And so it's like eventually we get to the point
Where it's just going to be so many fake things happening on the internet that human beings just
make up such a small percentage that you could go days without seeing another real person kind of
like in fallout the show oh my god when they're in a wasteland oh my god i love fake things like
jesus maybe next christmas we should do like which which Christian figure gets in the bunker
That could be fun
Put that in
Matt, write that down
I'm writing everything you say down
Oh good, good, good
He's a bot
Anyway, so I hate those modern pranks
But I enjoy
A spider on a string
Yeah, like I put a spider somewhere, I put a snake somewhere
Perhaps, what about like, what's this? Enjoy. A spider on a string. Yeah. Like I put a spider somewhere. I put a snake somewhere.
Perhaps.
What about like, what's this?
Oh, flicking someone's nose. No.
Love that.
That one just infuriates me.
Oh, I love it.
You know what I hated?
Intimacy.
Was like this.
Oh, you can't.
I fucking hate that.
And I'm going to explain it.
Would you just give me a moment, please?
You know that thing where like the people who bullied me in high school
would do, like, a little, like, A-OK hand symbol with a little circle.
As an Italian, I'm offended, yeah.
Oh, well, our people.
My people, your people.
And they'd, like like hold it down low
And if you looked at it
And didn't put your finger through it
What?
You could deactivate it by putting your finger through it
This is news to me, no that's not real
No, if you didn't look at it
And you put your finger through it without looking at it
Then you got to punch them
Why can't you see it if you don't look at it?
Peripheral vision, darling
If you put your finger through it without looking, that sounds not good.
Sorry, darling, that's why I wasn't bullied, darling.
Folk and prank.
Anyway, and then what happened?
Did they punch you?
Or just like, you look.
Yeah, they'd punch you.
You get a corky.
Yeah.
On the arm.
Oh, my God.
See, you just weren't ready to play the game
I don't want to play the game
Baby, you've just got us walking down the street
I'm just with my friend
And then all of a sudden I look at something that you're intending for me to look at
And then I get punched
In my thigh
Hey, Zelda Hoon, check out my thigh
It's quite nice this time of year, isn't it?
Yeah, I don't like that um i don't know pranks
yeah give me an animal related prank of like or like maybe like
love that prank where they um you know hold the towel up and then like drop the towel but
they've run away and the dogs are just like i like where did that go and i like that you know peekaboo is kind of the first prank
it is like the original socialized i think that's the one that goes in the bunker peekaboo
peekaboo well listen i it's funny because in life
in life the like the bar for a good prank because I was talking to a friend on the phone recently,
who's probably listening to this podcast, and she was being like,
remember that prank that you pulled on Bonnie in high school?
And let me tell you, this was barely a prank.
And we are still talking about it years later.
She went to school.
She was wearing a hat.
Then throughout the day, no, we were at a sleepover.
She was macking on with a boy who would become my first boyfriend
in but three months' time.
But I didn't.
Yeah, exactly.
But he wasn't out yet and he was kind of torn between a rock and a hard place.
Natalie and Booyah, obviously.
Oh, my God.
And he was either going to be a Bonnie or Robbie.
Bonnie or Tyler.
He liked the IE and he liked a double letter in the middle.
Anyway, and an O.
Oh, my God.
Anyway, so then they are making out in the air mattress.
I'm on the other, like a little mattress on the side of the room.
And then my friends, Tristan and Jasmine are in the bed and they can hear, we could all
hear how loudly they're making out.
It's like this yuck.
And so Tristan and Jasmine in a bid to try and throw me off the scent,
start speaking really loudly about Turkey or something like,
Oh my God.
So my family usually gets a 16 pound Turkey for Christmas because they're
trying to like cover for Bonnie and Matt.
And also cause we know about the love triangle that's happening and they're
pro Bonnie in this situation,
not pro RobbieRobbie or Lazy.
So when they get up to take a quick break from their Macathon,
when we all have kind of, you know, like at slumber parties.
We'll tell you you wouldn't.
But at slumber parties.
Lazy, you know how you often make fun of my long, long stories?
This is a great story.
I'm giving you flavor.
It's really good.
I'm just waiting to hear that the air mattress has actually shrunk in size.
Anyway, so then I just took the plug out of the air mattress.
And then when Bonnie came and sat back down,
it just completely deflated as soon as she sat on it.
And what I will say is that that is still spoken about to this day.
What interesting friends you have.
That's just sad.
No, I know, but that's how low the threshold of a real prank
in real life has to be.
Did they not hear the shh?
It went, and she was embarrassed.
Yeah, what you're saying is it's the moment of the prank
that makes it iconic, isn't it?
Yeah, and her ass hit the floor.
It's the moment.
That I like.
It doesn't matter if it's a good or bad prank.
It's like if you got someone really good.
Gotcha.
Got them.
It's the gotcha that's good.
I do love, I don't know if this is a prank or if it's just scaring people,
but I love scaring people.
Yeah, I do enjoy a scare.
Like just like a little sneak up and then a.
And you film it as well. And it's so good. When I do it at work, just like a little sneak up and then a And you film it as well
It's so good
When I do it at work it's on the security cameras
And then you review it, it's so funny
Yeah because you see the terror in someone's eyes
Just that split second they think they're dying
I love it
I used to prank this girl at work all the time
And one time I like glued her
Like no
I glued her fingers together and i laughed no i like uh
like put the blue tack under her mouse and she came back in and couldn't move her mouth
and then she ripped it up and like the whole top of the mouse ripped off and she was like
and then later that week i like recorded the screen of her computer and like had the mouse
very still and then after a few minutes started wildly moving it around and then typing in evil
shit and like and then so when she came back press play put that video full screen on her computer
so when she got back to her computer she's trying to move the mouse and it's not moving and then it was like and she's like i'm not typing this guys i swear i'm not
typing this the new age ouija board yeah she thought she was being haunted and then i deflated
her and the computer went boom and i was wearing a very large hat and um and And how did your career in an office end again?
I quit.
I'd done all that I could do.
I stood up one day and said,
I've given you people everything I could possibly give you.
The mouse thing.
No one's even mentioned the hat.
You completed all your pranks.
That's it.
And I walked out and they clapped
They gave you salute
Yeah
Anyway, pranks
Pranks
I've done the one where you put the sticky tape across the doorway
That one
Someone walks into it?
Yeah, and they get stuck to the thing
Wouldn't they see the reflective tape?
No, because you do it so't they see the reflective tape?
No, because you do it so that they open the door inwards and then as they walk through, the tape's just there.
And you have all the lights off anyway.
You have all the lights off.
Oh, whatever.
I like that.
Do it first thing in the morning so they come out of bed and they're like.
That's the thing.
You always apply a level of logic.
You've got to also rely on the fact that people are not very good at perceiving things
Like Bonnie, when she sat down on that
She didn't see it coming
She didn't see it coming
Okay
Yeah, I think the scary one is good
I think that's really
Wait, your prank is
Yeah, it's just I think that's really. Wait, your prank is. Yeah.
I like that.
Because it's just like.
And then you laugh.
You got to get them like.
You really got me.
Like when they least expect it as well.
You know, like it's, it is one of the original pranks for sure.
When they least expect it, like at a funeral.
Hop out of the coffin.
Yeah.
Gotcha.
Standing on a plane. The coffin deflated. Slightly bigger. Oh, my God. funeral i'm enticed by the idea of putting in one air mattress to allow the set for the prank and then you know romeo would love that here's the thing about the air mattress
prank which i acknowledge is not sophisticated, but it was-
It was timely.
It was timely.
And it was the stakes of the event because each character was so well drawn.
The two lovers making out on the mattress,
the jealous rival to the side watching bitterly and gaily from thinking about how.
Like, he's gay.
And the two are talking about turkeys.
And then the two, like, you know, the Greek chorus trying to.
Was that really what they were talking about the turkeys about?
Yeah.
They were trying to cover the sound of the kissing.
Gobble, gobble.
Yeah.
Plus my friend Jasmine just loves to tell this one story about turkeys.
What?
Oh, about eating them at Christmas.
Boo.
She's like, we normally, this is like every time I've seen this woman
from when we met when we were three years old,
my family would normally get a 16-pound turkey,
but then one year they didn't have any 16 pound turkeys
left so we got two nine pound turkeys and that's a lot of turkey she loves to tell that story she's
like oh we had turkey for ages that's a great story i love it well that's what i said to jess
really dude she should tell it more often. Can that story go in as well?
No.
Yeah.
The story can go in the sensible, non-mythical bunker.
Like anecdote.
Which anecdote should go in the bunker?
No, I think that's an important part of the...
No, maybe it's not.
Wait, so you think Jasmine should be sitting at the side telling the story?
No, no, no.
I just think that everyone in the bunker tells that story.
That's good.
They've got to tell something.
They've got to tell a story.
I like the shocking pens.
The pens that would give you a shock when you clicked them.
So you'd replace someone's pen with a different pen and it would electrocute them.
I feel like pranks in the olden days used to be a lot more harmful.
There was a lot more harmful. Yeah.
There was a lot of shocking and hurting.
Like the bubble gum that had a mousetrap inside. Yeah, that was good.
What?
Yeah.
You pull out the gum.
You pull out a gum and then it would flick onto your thumb,
right on the self-sensitive part underneath the nail.
Oh, I love that.
There was that prank where you would just stab people
if they didn't give you money.
That was always a good one.
I like that one.
That was a Ballarat specific one.
What do you think of a whoopee cushion?
Oh, look, we all know I'm quite fond of whoopee cushion.
It does make it smell like fart in here.
They're so dumb.
They are so dumb.
But you enjoy that?
I think.
Wait, they make you do that entrance
You walked in with a whoopee cushion on your tits
Uh-huh
They make you do that entrance a few times, don't they?
I did it twice
So you're backstage, first day, day one of Drag Race
Huffing and puffing into two whoopee cushion titties
Being like, this is my moment
Amazing
I brought extras in case they had perforated
That's good.
And thank God I did because they did.
Oh, they did.
Did they juice up the sound a little bit in post, do you think?
No, I don't think so because my microphone was like right where the thing was.
They were like, do the thing and then say your line after you've removed them.
But I was like, smells like fart here.
I just didn't listen to what they said, did what I wanted to do.
I was like, oh, well, this is my show.
Yeah. And where did it smells like fart in here. I just didn't listen to what they said. I did what I wanted to do. I was like, oh, well, this is my show. Yeah.
And where did it smells like fart in here come from?
Well, funnily enough, a dear, dear friend of mine introduced me
to the phrase smells like fart in here as a phrase that you should say
after you have broken wind.
Especially if it's a silent deadly.
You're just like, smells like fart in here
And you're just like
Oh that's so weird
So it wasn't an entrance line
It was a warning
Oh good
And trust and believe
I did fart every single fucking day
On that set
However
I was doing
I initially did it discreetly
Until I heard
IBS Anus Pupen
Famously drop her guts one day
And I was like Well you've set the tone now.
Wait, she dropped her guts?
Yes.
Listener, the reigning queen farted, farted on set.
Oh, wow.
But audibly.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
I love it.
I just can't believe they cut that out.
I remember I did it during a lunch break one time i just dropped my guts
and floor was like bitch i'm eating i was like well you should be so lucky taste this
you really are the people's princess sharing is caring everyone fecal matter you get a fecal
matter you get a fecal matter fecal matters yeah it does.
So what prank?
The air mattress.
Why not?
You know what?
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm so here for a deflating air mattress on the condition that the air mattress is in quantity of five
and the mattresses get bigger every time.
Five air mattresses.
You got yourself a deal.
But they're not allowed to sleep on them
Only
It's only for make out sessions
Yeah
Yeah make out sessions
And funny pranks
But also there has to be shame involved
Yeah
Yeah
Can it be an air mattress
Whoopie cushion hybrid
So when you pull the plug
And they sit on it
It just does a big fart sound
No farts
Well what sound
Would you like to come out of it instead
Something like that Yeah Blowing out a candle No farts. Well, what sound would you like to come out of it instead?
Something like that.
Yeah.
Blowing out a candle.
It's like that TikTok sound of RuPaul.
Yeah.
Love that.
That's really good.
Okay.
Incredible. Great. Okay. Yeah. So what? Five mattresses. Okay, incredible Great
Okay, yeah
So, what?
Five mattresses
Five air mattresses
To be inflated
Made out on
But yeah, actually they can never be in the same room
They don't know that there's five
No, no, no, no
They don't know
They take a break from making it out to go and get a glass of water
Change the mattress to a slightly larger one.
Pull out the plug.
That's the pranksters.
And also everyone now has the lived experience of Jasmine's turkey.
And they love to tell that story in the bunker.
I hate that.
I was just here.
You know, OJ Simpson just died.
I was just hearing, you know, OJ Simpson just died.
And he had one episode of a prank show that was 10 years after he murdered his wife and her lover.
That was the prank.
And the show was called Juiced because he was the juice back when he played football.
The juice.
Yeah.
He was like, oh, I've got to bring out the juice. And like then when he was in the Bronco driving away from the cops, it was like oh i gotta bring out the juice and like then when he was
in the bronco driving away from the cops it was juice was on the loose anyway so in this show
oj simpson is like weirdly like trying to sell a house but there's a girl jumping on the trampoline
without a top on in the backyard and then in another sketch he's like girl jumping on the trampoline without a top on in the backyard. And then in another sketch, he's like trying to sell the white Ford Bronco that he made his getaway in.
And it's got bullet holes in it.
And he's like, it's me.
This is a great car.
You can get away from any kinds of trouble.
Do you know who I am?
And apparently when he was making the show, he was just really drunk all the time.
And would just go up to people
and be like, do you know who I am?
This is awful.
Yeah.
What an awful story.
Maybe we should put OJ in the book.
No.
Betty White famously had a prank show.
Off Their Rockers, I think it was called.
It was a heap of seniors pranking people.
It was very stupid.
Seniors are who I want to prank people.
I want to prank seniors, frighten them, and then maybe they have a little, ah, dude.
A reminder that life is worth living.
I'm tantalized by the thought of putting this trampoline woman in the bunker.
Jumping up and down.
She's got some spark.
Yeah.
Anyway.
I love the idea of just being a young Hollywood actress who wants to get your break and they're like, we've got a show for you.
You've got a callback.
You're trampoline girl number one in the OJ Simpson one show,
one episode show.
Juiced.
You've just been juiced.
Okay.
Wait, wait, wait.
We've got to have someone come out and say something.
When the mattress deflates, there's got to be someone that comes out
and says, you've just been.
No, yeah.
Yeah.
It's not a friend
Comes out and says
I just had so much turkey
For days
Oh gobble gobble
What about that
Gobble gobble
Yeah that's good
Yeah
Yeah that's like the
Gotcha catchphrase
Of the bunker
Yeah
Gobble gobble
Yeah
Someone might give you
A courtesy gobble gobble
If they're just walking past
And you do it
Well
I tell you The gobble ghost loves that one
Okay we'll be back
We'll be right back
And we're back for our final segment of the evening.
Oh, sad.
Won't you tell us what it is?
Me?
Yeah.
Sure, it's going to be the war in Iraq.
No, we're not going to talk about that.
We're not going to talk about the war today.
What I think we should do is in the 2000s, everything was made miniature.
Oh, yes.
What's the most important miniature thing that's coming in the bunker?
Oh, that's so important.
That is so important.
Tacky 2000s miniature item.
Yes.
What could it be?
Okay.
Well, do you know, I was looking at this.
Oh, my God.
There's this website.
There's these new miniatures.
Now, I know this probably defies the rules
But you can get a miniature retro TV
And a miniature Gameboy
That are tiny
I'm holding my fingers up to about an inch
Maybe less than an inch
It's a micro penis
It's actually on the Wikipedia page for micro penis
But
They're actually functional
I love that.
I love that.
Like turn it on.
You can play functional games on this mini little Game Boy.
How the fuck do you see it?
It's just that tiny.
You just like hear like this.
It's incredible.
That's so cool.
And I'm like that is sickening.
And also the little TV, you can get a little memory card,
like a micro SD and put it in and watch anything.
Watch all the Angel episodes except for the ones with Connor.
Yes.
Fun.
Or Fallout.
Oh, my God.
There's never going to be a Fallout from watching Fallout.
Oh, dear.
Jesus Christ.
What are you thinking?
I'm just trying to think of what miniature items I had
Like I had many a small mobile phone
Because like they started out quite big
And then they went small and then they went small
And they went as small as they possibly could
And then they started to get bigger again
As they went to smartphone territory
But I had a phone that was probably no shit
It was probably like, I don't know, this tall
That's about three inches
And it was a little flip.
Flip.
Yeah, a little flip phone.
That's very chic.
It was so tacky.
So you were spending your money on that and drugs.
Yeah, absolutely.
A connection point to the drugs, I imagine.
Yes.
I also had a Game Boy Advance, which was a Game Boy Micro,
I believe it was called.
Oh, that's really cool.
About the size of maybe a Mars bar, maybe a Mars bar and a half in like height, but a Mars bar length.
That is a unit of measurement here in Australia, a Mars bar.
A mini Mars bar or a full Mars bar?
A regular, regular Douglas Megler Mars bar from the Bronx, okay.
I get what you're saying now.
You're talking about the smallification.
Okay.
Everything was just small.
Everything was petite. Like little laptops okay everything was just small everything was
like little laptops everything like it was a tiny little dvd players yeah we do already have one of
those in the bug cover the the game boy micro i haven't thought about in a while that was
bloody useless though right i had one and then i think i got rid of it because it just
i hate it just yeah oh and the little iPods, the nanos.
Oh, those little tiny square ones that had no screen.
Oh, just a wheel.
I'm thinking about the little, not the wheel.
Oh, like the white brick ones.
The ones that have multiple colours.
Yeah.
Not slim.
They're like a square almost.
Yeah, they had a little shuffle.
They did have a little screen for a while.
Yeah.
I put shuffle, was it?
I only ever had like a white iPod with like the screen and the wheel.
Yeah.
Oh, no, then I had a graphite one.
Ooh.
$179 on eBay for an iPod Shuffle, if you're keen.
One of these tiny little ones.
Do you know this?
That's what I'm thinking.
I'm not thinking of that.
No, no, no.
There's the one that was like the turquoise that I love.
Oh, turquoise.
Oh, turquoise. That was gay. No, no, no. There's the one that was like the turquoise that I love. Turquoise? Oh, turquoise.
That was gay.
Back when things had color.
And there was see-through as well.
See-through plastic.
Oh, that's the prison technology.
Love that.
I love that.
I actually was so, not that one.
It's like a square.
It's like a square.
Can you look up micropenis Wikipedia, please?
I just want to see who's in the top spot today.
Oh, my God.
What was like, no, there was, I was obsessed from a young age with mini TV,
handheld mini TV.
Love.
Battery operated.
Oh.
So we've just looked up micro penis on wikipedia what is there
a sheet in the background of that photo what would you describe the um gab what would you describe
the sheet details in that photo as um it almost looks like the print that you would see on a metro
on a train oh and would you describe that and the testicles are quite bulbous if you will they
seem of a regular size and then there's like a do they and then there's a ginger pube just one
lonely ginger pube and then yeah what i would describe as a micro penis yeah a little button
and the pants are just in frame yeah But they've just been pulled down ever since
Just for the photo
Just for the photo
That's what it suggests
It was not a session
It was just a snap
Session
So yeah, the mini TV
I was obsessed with it
I was so obsessed with getting a mini TV
Oh my god
And then I
Because when I
You know how you have buddies in primary school?
Absolutely
So you prep in a year six Get buddied together My buddy when I, you know how you have buddies in primary school? Absolutely. So you prep in a year six, get buddied together.
My buddy, when I was in prep, had a mini TV and she showed it to me.
And like we watched TV at school lunch.
Cool.
And I was like, fuck.
And number one, she's the coolest bitch in the world.
I don't know where she is now, but very cool.
I think.
What was her high school name or primary school name?
Primary school name?
Yeah.
What was her primary school name?
Yeah, like she had like a good school name.
No, I can't remember.
I think it was like Rebecca something, something, but yeah.
We'll say Adriana Falconeeri.
Yes, Adriana Falconeeri.
And she cut my hair years later at the Upway Salon because, of course,
she became a hairdresser with taste like that.
Good for her.
Taste in small TVs, hairdresser with taste like that good for her um taste in small tvs hairdresser queen um anyway so then when i was in america i bought one because i finally had
enough money and they were cheaper much cheaper in america and so i bought in america and then
i was watching i'd go out into the snow because it was freezing cold
and sit beneath a maple tree and watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch,
which is on free to air in America.
And then when I got back to Australia, it didn't work
because the radio signals are completely different here.
Oh, tragic.
But anyway.
Go and get a coat hanger and shove it in to create a little pair of rabbit ears.
No, that's not how it works.
Does the Tamagotchi count?
Because that's not really a small version of something.
They were always small.
They were always small.
I just had a cool memory unlock of, do you remember?
There was like this teeny, tiny, teeny, tiny little jukebox.
It was like a little boom box, but it had like little cards you could put in and it would play a song.
Yes.
What did they call those? I don't know, but I always wanted one. Oh, my God. It was like a, in quotation it would play a song. Yes. What did they call those?
I don't know, but I always wanted one.
It was like a, in quotation marks, girl's toy.
So I never got one, but I kind of actually really want one now that I'm thinking about it.
Because you're really into Miss Polly Pocket.
Absolutely.
And I think that that is just exceptional.
You have a large, large collection of Polly Pocket as well.
Yes, Bestie and I do share a large collection.
Yes, Hit Clips.
Hit Clips.
Oh, that's what they are.
That's sick.
Absolutely.
And then they did mini TV as well.
Yeah.
With like one episode of a TV show.
So camp.
Love it.
Love, love, love.
That's so cool.
How many Polly Pockets do you own?
Well, that's a great question.
I don't know.
You don't know?
I don't know.
But like at a certain point you just run out of Polly Pockets
Like a hundred maybe
A hundred maybe
Well, you've got duplicates
Oh, you have duplicates?
Yeah, of course
Because, you know, you buy, swap and sell on Facebook and all that sort of stuff
Do you ever get any of the Adventure Max?
Adventure Max?
The boy version
Mighty Max
Mighty Max
Oh, yes, that's what I was going to say
There are a couple of those sitting there, but they're not.
No, we don't fuck with those.
I really.
Yuck.
Boys toys.
Really want a set of Mighty Max.
Like I've drunkenly been on eBay quite a, because I love Polly Pop.
I know a gal would probably sell you some if you want some.
I do want that.
I do want that desperately.
But the Mighty Max was so cool And I loved that there was a like
Slimy gross snake
And like zombie version of
Polly Pocket and like love the idea of Polly
Stepping foot into Mighty's world and
Hanging out
Star-crossed lovers
Making out on like a mattress
No Polly wouldn't do that I don't like new Polly though Star-crossed lovers. Yeah. I love that. Making out on like a mattress? No.
She's above that.
Bubble, bubble.
Polly wouldn't do that.
I don't like new Polly though.
No, no.
What happened?
It turned to garbage the second that the little dolls were made of rubber
and they had like clothes that you would chew on.
Yeah, when her clothes were snapping on with magnets.
No, we're not about that.
I want the teeny tiny little plastic ones that were like bent in the middle
so she could just swing backwards and forwards and that's it.
And there was so much detail in those little houses she had.
And I like the one where you could put her on a throne
and she could sit on your finger as a.
Oh, a little ring.
Ring.
They did a lot of the rings in the 1991 series of Polly Pockets.
And the necklaces.
Yes.
And they did earrings as well and hair clips and stationery and so much.
Amazing.
Polly.
Polly.
Polly, get out of your pocket, dude.
Polly's out of pocket.
Okay.
Sorry.
Bless.
Do you know what?
I think she's actually going to be my pick for the miniature that I want to put in the bunker.
Polly.
Polly Pocket.
Just one teeny tiny little doll.
Not the compact.
Just the doll. Yeah. Just the little. Well, one teeny tiny little doll. Not the compact, just the doll.
Yeah.
Well, so many people have been ripping off the compact.
Like, obviously, Trixie did it, but, like, for her makeup.
For the mirror, yeah.
But who else did it?
There was another makeup company that did it as well.
Back in the 90s, there was a Japanese, like, a Bandai one.
They did Pokemon ones as well.
Oh, I had one of those.
Oh, my God. Listener, if you've got a Pokemon Polly Pocket,
please forward it to Gabriella Labucci.
So why have you not made
a Gabriella Labucci Polly Pocket?
I spend all my money on drugs.
I guess drugs can make
you feel like you're a Polly Pocket.
Well, yes. No, I would not have
a single clue where to begin the process
of making a compact little teeny tiny doll
and then the cost of that versus what I would have to sell it for to make a profit it's not worth it sell it for
700 people will buy it people will buy it no i don't what would be because you know each pot i
mean listen if you don't know but in each compact there's like a different world like so some of
them are like a diner and some of them are like a house and some of them are like a garden with a pool.
What would be the Gabrielle Labucci compact in a Polly Pocket world?
Probably a roller rink.
Skating around.
And it would have like one of those circle things that you'd put me on and then like you could like twist a little knob
and then I'd like spin around in the skating rink.
Action play features.
Yeah, because some of them had like little bits and knobs and doors
and stuff and they did stuff.
It was good fun.
There's one that's like a big town.
How big?
Probably about the size of my hands right here.
That's quite big for a dinner plate. That doesn't fit in your pocket, does it?
No, no.
It was like a Pollyville or something or other.
And it was magnetized.
So you'd put Polly on there and you'd like move this little thing
and she'd go into this house and she'd go over here.
Oh, it was magic.
The board is possessed. We've got a few of the plays that i don't think we've got any of the magnetic dollies
though oh my god i need to well maybe that's it maybe you could just make a singular like gabriella
labucci poly pocket and then you could be like this is like um a booster pack for your existing
you know and then just just make the doll and yeah, just have this like slag bitch that shows up in Pollyville
and is like, what the fuck is going on?
It smells like fart in here.
That is so camp.
I'm so here for that.
Yeah.
I like that.
Sorry, listener, you can't see.
Susan just was jesting that this character was holding a cigarette
and I'm so here for a little Polly Pockett just holding a dart.
On her bike she'll have a dart and have a can held in her hand.
I would love that, the Gabriella Labucci in your pocket.
Perfect.
Well, Labucci in Italian means pocket.
Does it?
No.
Oh, shut up.
Maybe it could be like what's your Polly Pocket,
like the Labucci Cucci.
How dare you, Gabriella.
I am a woman of Christ
Underwater Christ?
Merging with a shark
Yeah
Oh god
Okay
That's for me
Hmm
I need to investigate that more
I love it
I think a little
One
Just one
Little Polly
Yeah
Into the bunker
You can take turns Well you've got a lot of items That will be going into this bunker And you'll run out of space eventually One, just one little Polly. Yeah. Into the bunker.
You can take turns.
Well, you've got a lot of items that will be going into this bunker and you'll run out of space eventually.
So I think it's a wise choice because she's only but a teeny tiny dolly.
I do love the idea of her just like showing up and you're like stand on her
like with your bare foot and you're like, ow.
Oh, although, yeah, right.
So did you ever like, like you, when you're growing up,
you know every toy that you have intimately.
And then.
Intimately.
What do you mean?
And then one day, like your favorite fucking baby Stegosaurus goes missing.
Yeah.
But then seven years later, you're in the fucking potting area
and you unearth that stegosaurus.
Where did it go?
And it was just hidden in the dust for years in like the garden.
Do you ever have that happen?
I do.
I spent months looking for a remote control car
that just didn't exist anymore.
And I still am so mad that it just never showed up.
And we find yourself by the end of that experience of looking
in like obscene places.
It wouldn't be at the back of the fucking linen closet, you idiot.
But it might be.
But it might be.
It might be.
And it wasn't.
No.
I also had a remote control car, but it was the control that went missing.
So I had the car.
But you would turn the car on and the wheels were going.
So I'm like, the remote's somewhere and it's in use.
Where is it?
So here's me with the car going around the house thinking it's going
to like go faster or slower depending if I'm closer to the thing.
Your mother pranking you from afar like,
probably that's a good prank.
Hiding things slowly.
When I moved out of home, I left some, like when I moved
to the city when I was 18, I left a lot of things at home, right?
Because I was renting with friends and didn't have a lot of space.
You needed space for your ferrets.
Yeah.
Yuck.
Truly.
But I had my Nintendo 64 and all the games still.
And I like everything.
But like I had the, and I still have the box for all of those like
i have all of the boxes but the actual machine and all the cartridges were in this other box
and it was like a vertical wine box that was brown oh no black ink no and it's gone
all your games yeah and for years like every time i would go to my dad's house I'd be like where is it?
And then when he moved out of that house two years ago
I was like this is the chance
Because I was like is it under the house?
And da da da da da
I don't know what to do with it
And so it's just gone
It's just gone
And he's like I would
Like he wouldn't have given it away or something
Like it's just one of those things yeah but i hold out hope that one day
that box will return to me so it's meant big in ballarat oh my god you're obsessed with drugs
sorry what go on sorry nintendo 64 yeah i want to know did you have an inventory of all of the
games like do you know exactly game for game what was in that box? Yeah. Go on.
Oh, my God.
In alphabetical order and in release date.
I couldn't do release date.
Pokemon Snap.
No, I didn't have Pokemon Snap.
Loser.
The best game.
The Evil Twins had Pokemon Snap and I played it with them.
But anyway, I don't know, all sorts.
Yoshi's Story, Banjo-Kazooie. Pokemonda zelda love love super mario 64 goldeneye we also had perfect dark yeah i had perfect dark did you have conker's bad fur
day though no i didn't oh that's fine that you lost your collection then that was the only one
worth anything wow i didn't know it's worth a lot. I didn't like Conker's Bad Fur Day
because it had so much jokes about poo.
Yeah.
Well, we spoke about how that was the one thing,
one of the only jobs my dad ever rejected
was to do a voiceover for Conker's Bad Fur Day.
Yeah.
Like the ad when it was coming out in Australia.
Oh.
Because he thought it was insensitive.
Oh, it's great.
To this day, I sing, I am the great mighty poo. It's great To this day I sing
I am the great mighty poo
It's great, love it
Who is top tier comedy in my eyes?
It always will be
Everybody poops
Get out
Everybody poops
So a tiny poly
I think that's fabulous
And then that means That we've come to the point in the show where, Gab,
you have the power to put in anything.
Anything at all.
Of your choosing.
Oh, don't give me this power.
It can be a person.
It can be a thing.
It can be a concept.
It could add a room.
A gas.
Okay, I know what I'm going to put in.
Go on. I'm going to put in. Go on.
I'm going to put in a sixth inflatable mattress,
slightly bigger than the fifth.
You are funny.
I'm wild.
I'm so crazy.
You're crazy, B.
That is taking it too far.
You are silly.
You are silly, girl.
Wow.
Wow.
That's good.
But the sixth one, here's the plot.
Ah, that's true.
And do you know what?
I appreciate the community aspect of you adding.
Yes, and.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's great.
As Ariana Grande invented.
She did.
She did.
She's the queen of improv.
Yeah.
Great.
So that brings us to.
Sailor Pluto.
Sailor.
Sailor.
Yeah.
Sailor Pluto. Sailor Pluto. Sailor. Yeah. Sailor Pluto.
Sailor Pluto.
Yeah.
A Polly Pocket.
A singular Polly.
Wait, is it just, sorry, just quickly.
In Polly's world, is there Polly and friends?
Yeah.
So what are her friends' names?
Well, one of them is called Midge.
Midge.
That's Barbie's friend's name.
No, no.
Polly's got another friend called Midge Midge? That's Barbie's friend's name No, no Polly's got another friend called Midge
No, there's Midge and there's
I want to say, is William one or Willie or something?
There's men, Willie
Yeah, there's little male characters as well
But the thing about Midge, right?
Midge
She's a smaller character than Polly
Midge is an abbreviation
For what?
Oh no No than Polly? Mid. Mid. It's an abbreviation. For what? Oh, no.
No.
It was the 90s.
No.
It was the 90s.
Oh, wow.
We were magically correct.
Wow, Polly.
Also.
Sort your shit out.
Is Polly's last name Pocket?
No, it's Dombowski.
No, it is.
Shut up, you fucking bitch.
Dombowski, they changed it. I think she's like, sure. She doesn't have a surname. She's Pocket.owski. No, it is. Shut up, you fucking bitch. Dumbowski, they changed it.
I think she's like, sure.
She doesn't have a surname.
She's Pocket.
It's got to be Pocket.
It's got to be Mrs. Pocket.
Mrs. Pocket.
If it's not, and her husband, Pizza.
Let me just quickly Google.
Hey, Google.
What is Polly Pocket's surname?
Pizza Pocket.
It's so stupid.
No, I just got images. I don't know. She doesn't have one. She does. It's Pocket. It's on the fucking page. It's so stupid. No, I just got images.
I don't know.
She doesn't have one.
She does.
It's pocket.
It's on the fucking page.
It's got to be.
Well, let's ask her.
Polly.
Stop.
Polly's casting us a curse.
Our individual Polly Pocket has become sentient in the bunker
and is now the door bitch of the bunker.
But I look forward to it being lost and then in seven years they find it.
Yes.
In the linen cupboard.
Well, actually, so that boy that was making out with Bonnie
on the air mattress, his name is Matt.
And for my 16th birthday he got me a Polly Pocket
in its like original wrapping, everything.
And I was speaking to my now boyfriend recently and I was like,
the best gift I think I ever got was that Polly Pocket.
Gifts with nostalgia, they're always.
And he was just so offended.
He was like, but I gave you the most beautiful things for Christmas this year.
I'm like, yeah, but it wasn't a Polly Pocket.
I'm planting the seeds so next Christmas you can get me an original 1991 polypocket ring in its casing for 451 on ebay available now really
i mean that's probably generous they range anywhere from like 150 to like there's some
polypockets out there that go for over a thousand dollars incredible and they'll not in box like
that's that's wild do you have to do that weird uh reverse uv lighting to to get the yellowing out of the plastics oh yes um
retro baking or something i can't remember what it's called yeah we've done that on a couple of
them incredible to make the pinks not be brown anymore incredible yeah it's very fun retro
brighting yeah that's what's called a. Yeah, I think that's everything that...
Oh, we did have one correction we needed to make.
I'm so sorry.
This is from a previous week.
Micropenis.
A correction?
Yeah.
Remember worthless twink?
Oh, you say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So, twinking decline.
Yeah.
When we were on our willing episode, we spoke about twink and decline disparagingly.
Yes.
We did not intend to speak about twink and decline.
We were talking about worthless twink.
Is that correct?
It's the other way around.
Oh.
Wait, is it the other way around?
Whatever.
We love you both.
We retract both statements.
Yeah.
Is that all we need to do?
I think so.
Okay, great.
And also quickly, we've had a few people send in ugly things
Oh yes
And it's so good
Please send in more ugly things
And then we'll have a gallery at the end of the month
Send in your ugly thing
Also that one guy sent me his dick pic
Who?
Remember how we said?
Which guy?
Remember when we were recording?
Was that last week or the week before?
Oh yeah
He sent it
It's really nice
Is it part of your collection of ugly things.
No, it's really good.
It's really good?
Beautiful things.
It looks real thick.
Is it going to happen?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
Well, guy, now have sex with her.
You're under our control.
Oh, my God.
Woo.
It looks thick.
Okay, great.
Yeah.
What a great note to go out on
Okay, perfect
We started at micropeen and we ended at thick, thick
Yeah
Because what I was going to say
The last thing
I'm never going home
No, just that they got
I was trying to get like at the souvlaki shop across from
What?
Molly's, just a second
Yeah
They just don't have small chips anymore.
They only have medium or large.
And I only wanted a small chips.
Sorry, just before we go, speaking of chips,
the bingo gig that you did with me lately,
you were about to leave and you're like,
I just really want a packet of chips.
You had two chips and then you just left your bag of Doritos there uneaten.
I was like, this bitch did not want her fucking chips at all.
This bitch molts like a motherfucker. She had her vis there, uneaten. I was like, this bitch did not want her fucking chips at all. This bitch molts like a motherfucker.
She had her visor, her lipstick.
Her glasses.
Literally everything was just left behind.
I was like, oh, lazy.
It's all yellow.
Well, that's how you remember me.
I actually left glasses at another gig recently.
Like, I mean, like literally I'm just leaving shit all over town.
I'm trying to get rid of it.
It's like Shawshank Redemption.
Just take your handful of pebbles out to the courtyard every day on every item you've inscribed vote for me for the medias
that's right that's right um it's still time to vote for the medias oh my god okay anything else
children that's good that's good we know what rupaul smells like um and that's that's all we
needed to know really we're gonna cut the rest out. Okay, cool.
Okay.
Well, thanks so much.
Thanks, Gab.
My pleasure.
Thanks for having me for this silly little adventure. And we'll put your tags up in the description of the show.
If they want to buy some of your merchandise.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, a polypocket.
No, not yet.
But yeah.
I think I can't wait to go out this weekend and say to people,
have you shit on the mother toilet?
And they'll say, yuck.
What's wrong with you?
It's all a big prank.
Yeah.
Oh, prank.
Okay.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Put a smile on your dial.
Death Arrow is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Natural Heroes Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie
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