Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Best of: Jim Parsons / Tracee Ellis Ross

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

I’m revisiting two dinners with people I absolutely adore who have been mainstays on network television for roughly a decade: Jim Parsons of “The Big Bang Theory” and Tracee Ellis Ross of “Black-ish.” First up… star of stage and screen Jim Parsons joins me at Don Angie in NYC's West Village. Over some gorgeous lasagna, we discuss queer visibility in television and film, "The Big Bang Theory" pilot that never was and why "Spoiler Alert" is such a special film. Also… actor and fashion icon Tracee Ellis Ross chats with me over tacos and nachos at The Roof, a restaurant at the top of The West Hollywood EDITION. We dish about her final days of "Black-ish," her mother’s iconic 75th birthday, and who makes her starstruck. A Sony Music Entertainment & A Kid Named Beckett production. Interested in advertising on the show, contact [e-mail]. Find out more about other podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts and follow us @sonypodcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Jim Parsons of the Big Bang Theory and Tracy Ellis Ross of Blackish. It's no surprise to me that they're both stars of Primetime TV. My interview with Jim showcases some of my favorite things about him, his humility, his sweetness, and his openness. And Tracy is, of course, a legend. She is someone who continually inspires me with her joyous approach to life and also her amazing fashions.

All right, first up, Jim Parsons. Today I had the chance to walk to our interview. It's in the West Village, a neighborhood in Lower Manhattan. It's a beautiful spring day, one of the first of the year, and I have a little pep in my step because this is one of my favorite places to eat in the city. I could go on and on about the menu at Don Anjus. How the Chrysanthemum salad is a work of art, the way the grated cheese just hovers over like a cloud. Don't like sweet potatoes? Their Japanese sweet potatoes will literally change your life, your mind, and basically make you question everything you've thought before.

I'm not being dramatic, and don't even get me started on the Termi Su. This is Dinners On Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Today, I thought I'd bring along a long time New Yorker and an old neighbor of mine. You know him from spoiler alert, the Big Bang Theory, and Boys in the Band, Jim Parsons. My first experience in LA was a show that did go for a year, but then ended. And the class, and actually, you know what show replaced us, Big Bang Theory.

Is that true? That's absolutely true. I knew we'd chill over your studio. And I think our time's on everything, yeah. Were you on CBS? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's okay, it worked out. But I remember just being so devastating.

I was like, well, that was my thing. That was my shot. Big Bang Theory was picked up for a season, and there was a whole season that happened, and then they tried it again the next season. Yeah. And what was it a casting thing, or was it a... They didn't get the character

that Kaylee ultimately played right the first time She was much more of a street smart. I mean she was ultimately the more street smart of our group obviously But it was done in a much more vicious way like like in the original pilot Leonard and Sheldon come across her crying and it wasn't played by Kayleigh then come across her like crying on a corner or boyfriend's dump or whatever and like she kind of lasses us in like kind of puts one over on us in order to have a place to stay. It was just so you had three lead characters where one of them was constantly like, these guys, and it was like, well, that's not, that's not endearing.

Right, right. So, from the table read to the shooting of that first pilot, they kept trying to massage it into something more heartfelt between these characters, and it just, they needed the time and a complete rewrite essentially to do that. Once it was rewritten, that went beautifully, what they did with that penny character, Kaley's character.

But they didn't change much at all from what me and Johnny had done. Like so many of the lines were the same, so many of the scenes were the same. The other thing they did was we had one female science nerd friend, as it were, in our group. And poor actress who was wonderful. They said, you know what, we're gonna split that into two more and make them both men. So we

ended up with Kenal and Simon. And they changed the location from the East Coast to the West Coast and they completely overhauled the color palette. The original pilot looks a lot like our show, but it looks as if you threw a seepia filter on it and covered it with cobwebs or something like that. It's just, it was a smart move on their part. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Shabby chic did. Yeah. First of all, when you were shooting the pilot, it was a working. I've also been a part of things. It aren't working, and it's like, it can be heartbreaking and scary. Yeah. Were you feeling like, okay, this is probably not going to happen? No, no. And I think this, you know, you've no one's ever

asked it like that before, but so I'm just realizing this as you do. I think it speaks to ultimately exactly why CBS said, let's try again, because there was a lot working about it. It was a live show, as you know. And so there was no denying that it was working on tape night. Or there were enough aspects working on tape night that there was no reason to believe it for sure wouldn't get picked up. Right. Yeah. And to see, I still though, even through that version, think it was such a smart move on the part of CBS, and it made me wonder why it doesn't happen more often. They put all this money into these making these pilots. And they either don't pick up something that has a lot of elements working, but just ultimately isn't making it, or they do pick up something like they could have picked us up right then and shot it, tried it for a season,

and these same things would have been there and probably not allowed it to be the success it became. And instead, they reinvest a little more money, even a lot more money, in doing, but in a product they've already been working on, and it worked. I don't know. I don't know what they're doing. So I mean, guys, 12 years, of course it worked.

People are always asking me this. It's definitely a hot discussion point right now. It's about being gay in Hollywood and the opportunity to play gay and straight people playing gay parts. I mean, the big profound thing that happened for me in Hollywood in the class, I was playing a straight character.

I had a great time playing opposite Heather Golden Hirsch as my girlfriend. And then when modern family happened, I was playing an out and proud gay man. And I spent 11 years doing that. And you spent 12 years playing, I wouldn't even say straight, me, A's actually. A's actually had sex. I'm actually had sex. For sure, yeah.

But like, what are your feelings about this sort of new landscape that we're in with? This is what I'm working through today, because I feel like there's so many like potholes that people can follow. Absolutely. And I'm trying to avoid it, but at the same time, I'm like trying to figure out what do I feel about it? And I'll share with you what I do. I mean, I think opportunity needs to happen in communities more often. I think we need to do a better job of looking for people who are able to play these roles specifically in the trans community.

But as an actor, I can only speak for myself. I want the opportunity to do many different things. And so it's hard for me to draw a line in the sand and say that applies to me and not you. Yeah, to me it feels like the real storyline of this has been lost because the real storyline, as far as I understood it, for our whole lives, has been, like, let's just take gay people, for example,

that gay people should be offered the opportunities to play any role, even if you happen to know that they're gay. You know, I don't personally feel as a gay man that ensuring only gay men play these gay male roles is, I'm not sure what that does exactly. I'm not sure what it does in terms of what I was saying, which is like, can we get opportunities across the board? When I was growing up, is like, can we get opportunities across the board?

When I was growing up, it was always the more people that are known figures that are out as gay people was helpful to all of us. Asability, whether in the industry or in the world. There's a way of looking at what's going on right now that I can't help, I've wondered it many times. Like, when is it going to become more advantageous to essentially stay in the closet? And maybe not lie, maybe not in this, maybe it's not me more like, no, I'm straight,

but just basically it's none of your business, which is valid. And maybe I even applaud that. You know what I'm saying? Sure. If I was 20 something right now, cheerly from a career perspective, why would I go with any storyline? Other than it's none of your business. Right.

I mean, I'm also brought up to coming from this as people who have been in this business a while. Yeah. 48 this year. Are you turning 50 this year? I already did. I'm ready there. Jam, no.

Happy birthday. Thank you. That's a big one. Oh, it was huge. It's huge. But I think people ask us these things and because we are obviously two gay men who have done okay in this business,

but at the same time, it's like, I don't want the responsibility. I don't have the answers. I don't, and also we're not in charge of these things. That's exactly right. I mean, someone who's doing a very good job with it is some of that you work with and know very well is Ryan Murphy, I think.

He comes from the top and he's like, this is what we're gonna do and it trickles down. So I feel like more of that, please. Yeah. It's definitely needed after Big Bang. And after you, were you doing the normal heart when you were still doing Big Bang? The play.

So that was when you sort of came out publicly, you know, obviously you'd been out to your friends and family and both the ones. And basically I think of many, many people knew, but that was the first time in the publication that you said something. And you're just looking at what you've done before. It seems like mostly it's been,

you've been playing these really very intricate, very layered gay men. And you do it so brilliantly. Do you think that there will be an opportunity on a mask that's for myself too, because I wanted? Like, will we have opportunity to think to play people who aren't known to be gay? Are you gonna have to fill a battle?

Well, it does bring up another side of the whole thing, which is that the one thing I've realized is that I found playing them deeply interesting. But part of it was that I did bring something to them from my own life that I was able to, I don't know, I don't know what I'm gonna say. It was therapy, but that it was, I was able to, I don't know, I don't know what I'm gonna say it was therapy, but that it was, I was able to work with some things that were that were part of me.

Okay, so I'm gonna be really honest with you. I took a very long time to watch spoiler alert. For reasons I'll explain. I mean, I read Michael's, I see all those memoirs and it destroyed me. The movie adaptation, which is on Peacock right now, you can stream on it Peacock. It's just, it's so beautifully done. And what I kept thinking about as I was watching you do this was you are someone who has experienced grief. You lost your father Mickey very suddenly

and a tragic accident. And then obviously that did, you know, you work through that. But I also think so much about, and I only know this because I did know you at this point, was, you know, when you lost your dog Otis, you know. I remember being over your house when we lived next to one another and I brought my little dog leaf over and Otis and Rufus and

Leaf would all play and I remember you saying like when the stog dies just bury me with them. Did I think? Yes. And Justin and I were like oh my god we feel the same way about Leaf. And I know how devastating it was when he finally did it pass and that is something that it's a different type of grief that didn't just come out of nowhere. No. It was something that you saw slowly happen. Yeah. And it affected you in a, I'm sure, very profound way. As I was watching, it's also one of the reasons I was, like, kind of, hesitant to watch this film.

It's like, I just watching you kind of filter through that grief on camera. Yeah. It's just so, I guess, I mean, to talk to me a little bit about, like, what it was to bring that story. Well, it was one of the most wonderful intense experiences I've ever had. For one thing, we also produced it, and we had optioned the material from Michael very early on. So it was a project in general. It was very meaningful in a good way overwhelming for us. I mean, I don't know what word to use other than, it felt like such a privilege and an honor to be able to go,

feel like you say, filter those things through myself in their own subconscious way, marry them with my own things that I had gone through, none of them can be compared. My father, to Michael's husband, to the dog, I mean, they're all just completely different situations. And I think that's one of the most interesting fascinating things to me about death and mortality in general is how reaction to death is, for me at least, has been so dictated to the specificity of the relationship that you're talking about. The death of my father was, of course, fathoms deep and complicated,

because it's a father's son relationship. And in this case, a gay son, not that that was an issue between it, not that I never told him, but that was there. Whereas the dog is the most simple, you know, it's just love basically. And as such, I cried gallantly more tears when the dog died. It was so easy to access. Whereas there was so many implications with the situation with my father, you know, does this, did my stalling my career, do I need to stay home, my mother, and just,

there's just so many complications with it. Never mind all the emotional things. And then to lose, you know, oh, it's hard to even say how loud, isn't it? But to lose your romantic partner, your life partner, as Michael and Kit went through, I mean, that's just a completely different thing

all together. So I don't know, I don, that's just a completely different thing altogether. So I don't know, I don't know that I'm answering your question so much as to say, I either innately or because of my own experiences find the topic extremely interesting. I've talked about this before, but it played very much into my decision of how I knew I didn't, it was time to stop doing the TV show. Yeah, you talked to me about that. Yeah. Because I was getting closer and closer. I'm still I'm getting closer. I'm closer. My dad's age when he passed it 52. And it was just like, oh, you know, you know, you keep having to relearn the, or relearn a deeper

level of solvue. You don't know when it's the last day. I don't know when it's the last meal. I don't know when it's the last conversation. So anyway, I'd say it's more bid, but it is bit more. I think it's literally more than well. I think about that conversation when you opened up to me about that, when you were talking about leaving Big Bang, you said, you know, like, there's so much more I want to do. And you know, there's, I have to take this leap and just say, I'm going to do things I want to do now. And I have to take this leap and just say, I'm going to do things I want to do now. And I think that's incredibly brave and profound. And I think it's a great piece of advice, like to sort of look at where you are in that moment, in your career, in your life, and think,

okay, what's happening around me, something that feels right forever, is it something that feels right for another year around me, something that feels right forever, is it something that feels right for another year, is it something that feels right for another month or another day, and really listening to that. And I think that leap of faith that's, I mean, it's something that move on to something new, is really inspiring for sure.

Oh God, well, thank you for coming out. That I... Thank you for having me. It's new to be here for me. Yeah. Yeah, I'm happy I got a nutritious place. Okay, let's take a quick break. But don't go away. When we come back, we'll hear some of my favorite moments with Blackish actor Tracy Ellis Ross. When it comes to designing a healthy life and food plan, you need a long-term solution. Well, NUME is here to help. I certainly can understand the stresses of trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle with food and exercise, especially as a parent of two now and now I've got this podcast.

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Ontario Power Generation is shaping the clean energy future by investing in Ontario and electrifying life every day. See how at opg.com. And we're back with more dinners on me. Today, food with a view. So listen, I'm a little scared of heights, but that didn't stop me from taking today's guest up several stories. Okay, tens of several stories.

Above the sunset strip for California meets Mexican fare at the roof, a restaurant at the addition hotel in West Hollywood. I want to emphasize at the very top of the addition hotel. I feel like I could see my house from up here, but it's okay, the food will distract me from my slight phobia of heights. To get to the roof, you walk through this tremendous lobby covered in travertine or marble, or I don't know, I'm not a stone expert.

It's something luxurious. As you walked with the elevator, as you wonder, hmm, what's that smell? It smells so good. Well, it's the signature scent of the addition by La Laba, which is pumped through the hotel. An attendant swipes me up to the roof and leads me to the patio off the lounge

where there's 360 degree views from downtown LA all the way to Santa Monica. The roof is where my guest met me, clad in a shartrous sweater, black blazer and jeans. I'm telling you this because I know you wanna know. Oh, and she also had these amazing purple aviator glasses. Hello. Hi, baby. Hello. Hi.

Without further ado, you know her from Blackish. Girlfriends and her podcast, I am America. It's Tracee Ellis Ross. I did have the honor of going to your mother 75 that you invited me to. And I remember you text me and I said, Tracee, I don't know your mom I've never met her. I'm obviously a fan and an admirer, but you know, if you want to invite someone that

like, you know, I was like, it's okay. You're like, as like, you're like, my mom's friends are all going to be there. What is the latest? Yeah, that's typical. And so I adjusted and I keep the part. I get to have people too. I get to have people too. Where's my list?

By the way, let me just take you back to my child. Yeah, yeah, please. My mom had to have conversations with me on my sister. Okay. By the way, let me just take you back to my child. Yeah, yeah, yeah, please. My mom had to have conversations with me on my sister's birthday. Why? Birthdays. She would be like, what is going on? And I'd be like, well, I don't think it's fair.

Everybody's just paying attention, or she gets all the gifts. She's, my mom's like, okay, it's her birthday. Yeah. It's a very special day. You add one too, and I'm like, oh, I don't think that's fair. Oh, all the attention gets to go on Rob, didn't ready to get give me a seat in the corner she was like what is I got

this so you're about to be a child every day should somehow involve me every day where do I fit into this where do I put to this there is there is there a more there is this there's nothing for me does there no gift and then on Christmas is the same thing my sister would open gifts slowly. And so I would open gifts fast in the hopes that I we both got twinsy gifts and I would like show her everything I got. Like ruin her surprise. My God. It's a terrible

child. So vicious. Terrible child. It's really funny. Terrible. Anyway, so yeah, 75. Yeah, so I get to have people too. Yeah, and I get to have people too. Yeah, and I was so excited to go. And it was sort of a great, but what I loved about it, first and foremost, it was family, it was friends, it was like real.

Like everyone felt real. And then the evening ended with all of us getting into these shuttle vans and going to, what's it the palladium? I think it was the palladium. And your mother just giving a concert for us and fans. And her and all of us sitting on the stage. And all of you sitting on the stage. And it just, it filled me with so much joy.

I was so honored to be there. But there was a point where you got up to speak. And you talked to my mom for a little while. And you say, and Beyonce, if you're here, if you want to sing Happy Birthday, come on down. And I laugh, because like, that's what I'm gonna use that joke at my next party. Like Beyonce.

And then she walked five. And I was like, oh shit. And she stood as close as to your sitting there to me right now and sang Happy Birthday. And. And. I don't even remember that. Oh my God, I do, obviously.

Let me tell you, I also remember it. And it's burned into my memory so vividly, because it also includes one of the most embarrassing moments of my entire life. She finishes Happy Birthday, which lets all be honest. It's not a hard song to sing. She didn't embellish it too much. She did it.

She was respectful to the song itself. To the song itself. To the song itself. Exactly. And she made the octave jump. She didn't try to shame the happy birthday song. Absolutely not. She didn't eliminate it. And afterwards Justin was like, you have to say hi to her.

You have to say hi to her and it's like, okay, okay, I'm going to do it. So I walk over to her and I put my hand on her shoulder and she turns to me. And the only thing I can think of to say to her is beautiful. In response to her song. That's lovely. Come on, anything. Justin is like, that just looks at me. It's like that's all you got.

It was beautiful. That was, but I put my hand on her, so I'm gonna tell her this thing that she's probably needs to hear right now. I'm just thinking you have to be birthday. Oh my God, but anyone, even Beyonce wants to hear that she did something well. I guess so.

I just, I do not think about that way. I was like, there's so many other things I could have said. No, for sure. So many other words I could have used. I was like, it was a one word, three syllables. No, first of all, it's not like you said, kill that. What you heard me, but you said beautiful.

That's like a beautiful, that's like a lovely thing to say to somebody. I was just, I had a different version of how this was gonna go and she turned around and like all the blood left my body. And I was thinking like, okay, so Tracy's like casually an orbit with these people. I'm not, you know.

Yes, you are. Oh, okay. You asked Beyonce to come down and sing a birthday song. I think I'm having flashbacks now and I think my mom was like, you should ask her to go or something. I don't know. I really don't remember that moment.

I don't remember saying anything. You're my face. I was like, what? I'm pretty direct to that. Yeah, yeah. But I just want to say, are there people like, just knowing like how say, like, are there people like, just knowing like how you grew up,

are there people that you feel like the way I feel toward Beyonce or is it kind of like, are you desensitized? I'm definitely not desensitized. I think what it is is that I have, particularly because of who my mom is, I have such a sense of no matter who people are, they're people.

So I am in awe of whether it's Beyonce or Michelle Obama or my mom, there's a lot of reverence towards the magnitude of what they've either accomplished or who they are as people. But I don't get flustered because I have such a genuine sense of like the flesh and blood of who they are. Sure. Yeah, it's something that I really despise in our culture, the way that we dehumanize people who are in the public eye.

Right. It's just, it's not helpful and I, it's the same thing like putting people on a pedestal or even as a woman, like when a guy is like, you know, you're my queen, I'm like, what the fuck? Like, I just want to be the person standing next to you. Right. So I lost some, I saw you. There's no way I'm going to be able to eat this in a nice way. Since I've last seen you, you finished blackish. Uh-huh. I rewatched your finale last night, you know, with the lens of like knowing

that we do talking to you about this today. I mean, eight years. Yeah. My second eight year show. Second eight year show. That's so interesting. What was, I mean, eight years. Yeah, my second eight-year show. Second eight-year show. That's so interesting. What was, I mean, incredibly profound experience in something that's that monumental in your life. I mean, I didn't watch Girlfriends. I wasn't on my radar at that time, but Black-ish every episode.

Like me with your show. Oh, thank you. I mean, what was that day like for you? That last day of shooting. I mean, what was that daylight for you? That last day of shooting? I, my eyes were so swollen. Trying to do that last scene was just absurd. You know, here's the thing, I had context because when we finished chewing, I'm going to let you eat and chew while I say this story because of girlfriends. And girlfriends ended during the writer's strike. Oh, no way. So we didn't get an end. We didn't get a rap party. We had no idea it was ending. So there was no closure at all. Blackish, we knew it was ending. I walked into the last season with the mindset of its ending and was able

to enjoy and savor every stitch of it. And that last week and then that last day, I was very present and very aware of how grateful I was for the experience and how sort of heavy-hearted I was about the fact that my daily routine from eight years was gonna end. A routine that I loved.

I loved going into hair and makeup. I mean, it was weird, you know, the pandemic really changed. Yeah, well, that's it. You got to finish that show during the pandemic, which I thankfully you got to finish it. Yeah, pre-pandemic, like hair and makeup trailer was my favorite place.

All of us in there together. Music, lines running, kids, like just the mess of it. A lot of people don't experience what they've experienced, but when you walk in, you have these very early mornings on a sitcom, you arrive at like 5, 30 in the morning, 6 in the morning, usually the women have to arrive an hour before you guys do. Just be clear, Anthony took longer than me and I think. Did he? I love that tidbit.

That's great. That is a great tip. And also basically had a facial at the end of every day. Oh my God. They removed his makeup and he loves talking about it. And also basically had a facial at the end of every day. Oh my God. They removed his makeup and he loves talking to it. And then it's skin care routine. I swear to God I've never seen anything like it. I was like, wait, can that happen for me?

Like what's going on? Joanna Vargas rolls it. I swear to God, it was amazing. That's amazing. But yeah, these very early mornings. And so like you begin your day with this kind of, you're all kind of compacted into this small trailer. And you're getting your hair and makeup done.

And it is where the music's playing. It's where you're having your morning coffee. You're running line, you're running line. It is such, you're right. It's sort of, it's the heart and soul of the day. It is, yeah. And you know, as you worked with kids too, so working with kids and then, you know, yes,

you guys, we see each other on camera. You these sort of tarded up sort of beautiful versions of us, but you come in early, like tired, like all of it. It's the most intimate thing. And I loved it. No makeup. Nothing.

Yes. It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. It's not just, it's not only no makeup, but just like a mess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Just like a mess and then they turn out not only happy actors, but like pretty people. Right, right, right, right.

But we walk in like these like de-grapid parties and then they, they turn us out. Truly, in one door you go out like a looking or a hot mess. You go out the other door, you could come in crying, still dealing with the night before. Like whatever it is and by the time you come out you're ready to go act, you know fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, fully, a few years younger than you, not too many. Experiencing aging, experiencing what it means to sort of transition to this new place. I played a father for 11 years. When I got the role on Madam Family, I was like, oh no, I'm too young for this.

I'm just gonna be a dad. Oh, I had that whole thing. Oh, yeah. Well then the world's gonna see me as a mother of a kid. Exactly. And now it's like only father roles. You know, and I'm like, well that's where I'm at. I just, I really appreciate,

and I have kind of looked to you at times like this. So like you have embraced aging, and you have just accepted all that in a very gracious way. I'm so grateful for all that I've gained at this age. Age is like an energy. My favorite is, you know, the young gentlemen's that I date, and they're like, aging nothing but a number. I'm like, yeah, you say that because it's a smaller number, yeah. I'm like, yeah, it's a number and like a lot of years difference.

Do you think it's a date younger man? I do. Okay. Some of that is because the toxic masculinity that is so ingrained in my age group, I like, I literally cannot participate in. Oh, interesting, yeah. And that's not to say that it's everywhere and I do also date people that are my age. And I date people for all very different reasons. You know, there's the people you go to dinner with, the people you have sex with, the people that you might be potential partners.

Sure. And so they all kind of have different things. But I don't know, it's so interesting to me. Turning 50's been really interesting. I'm just sure. I'm sure. Wonderful. I work on a daily basis with, you know,

embracing it for the grace of God today. I haven't done anything to my face in my body or anything. And who knows? Hopefully I can hold out and just let the story of my life be all over me. And, you know, same thing, like, I don't know, I talk out of the side of my mouth and I'm being funny.

And recently I was like, we, what's happening with this out of my face? I was like, that's the side of me. That's your joky side. That's my joky side. That's your joky side of my mouth. I go out that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to brush my mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it's a little more wrinkly on that side. Yeah, yeah. What are you going to do? So I did want to say, I have this, another anecdote I wanted to talk to you about. I think you might find it funny

So I was in my research. I see that you have eight And double AC P awards. I believe it's nine. It's a nine now. It might be nine. I don't know. I don't know It's such a high number. This is something we have in common. I also how many NAACP's here? I have one Shut the fuck up. I have one Had I will say had let me explain I will say had. Let me explain. You give it back? Let me explain. Let me explain. So somehow Kim Fields NAACP Award was found in a place it shouldn't have been.

I don't know if it was in a trash bin, but it was somewhere where it was just found. Okay. And my good friend, let me hold this for you while you go for that five-let chase cake. Oh my god, my friend Todd Hawkins, who's a very close friend of mine, who also happens to be my husband's college roommate, is the president of the African American Museum here in LA. Amazing. So whoever found this NAACP war. Returned it there.

For Kim Fields gave it to Todd saying, I don't know, maybe this can live in the museum, and he could be a part of like this. And it said Kim Fields on it. Yeah, it was no doubt it was Kim Fields. And so he's like, sure, I'll take it. I had it in his car, then the pandemic hit. And Todd was like, called Justin, I said, I can't boil water. Like, I have to come live with you.

I like, I'll come live with you for a few weeks. So he came to live with us. And with him, he like unpacked everything. And was just, here comes this end. He said he was having his heart to take back to the museum. And so I put it up on my shelf with all my other awards. And I completely forgot about it. I kind of forgot it.

I just, I stopped kind of looking at it. Like I didn't realize I had anything. That's insane. Okay. Fast forward, I'm doing this play in New York. Take me out. I come out the stage door and Kim fields is there. I'm dead. And she's like, I am such a, I think she's like, I love the show. And I'm like, I am such a fan of you. I love backs of life. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I was like, also, another thing, nothing, I have your no way to be a or in my house. Oh, my God. Would you like it back? My friend Todd, who is the president of the African American Museum, and I was like, and you got it back to her, right? He says, no, it's still in my house.

I'm like, do you have the end of No-A-C-P? Wait, this is amazing. And so if Kim feels somehow this insists, or has someone to listen to it, and she still doesn't have her own. And she doesn't feels somehow this is this, I'd have someone to lift this to it. And she still doesn't have her. And she doesn't have it, it's on Utah. We're gonna be like Todd, you've stolen it. Now you are the culprit.

That's some of some amazing thing. We should, you know what we should do, is like there should be like a, a word swap. Yeah, yeah. Just like, we end up like, I have, I have, I should have like, I should have, I should have, I should have, I should have, I should have, like, in my, in my,

in my decorate. Absolutely, absolutely. Really? And you're like, yeah, I'm very well around it. Very well. I know it's as Jesse. It's me, it's me. Oh God, that's fantastic. That's fantastic.

I almost lost my golden globe. Did you really? Mm-hmm. The night of the globes that I, for the one time I went and won. Yeah, I think you went twice, did you? Oh, the second time, yes I did, okay. Yes, I did, that was me two year, the time's up year.

Right, right, right. The second time. So I went after and changed in the bathroom right there off of the room, into my after party look, in the hotel, did it there, in the room, that. You left your word there. hotel did it there in the room that. You left your word there. Yeah, I left it in the toilet.

Oh no! How did it come back to you? Left, it in the toilet. And then walked out, tried to get back and security would not let me back in. Oh, you realize you left it in the toilet? Yeah, I was like, you know how when you go to the airport, you're on your way to the airport,

you're like, what am I having? I don't know, I'm going to run, and I was like, I don't know the award. Oh my God. So we had to stand in the lobby. The entire hotel security was like everybody, and finally like 20 minutes later, me, I am wearing a satin dress and sweating profusely,

like flop sweat sweating. Yeah. Finally, they bring it back to me. I was like, thank you. You win it and you lose it. Yeah, yeah, immediately. Immediately. That is amazing. I, when Jane Lynch was hosting the Emmy Awards,

Justin and I were leaving the awards with her, and she realized at that moment that she had lost the big diamond earrings. One of the diamond earrings. You're lent a lot of these things. Yes, and usually you... And usually they come with a security guard. Yeah, war.

That bar is you around. Or you have to remember, I learned this the hard way to take out a little bit of extra insurance. Ah. Which I did not know early on in my career lost a ring. I don't think Jane did either. And had to pay for it. You had to pay for it.

Oh boy. That is insane. I didn't know you had to pay for it if you lost it. Yeah. Wow. I didn't know that now I have an insurance, but like I'm protected and my stylist takes that has insurance as well.

And I learned the hard way. Oh wow, Tracy. It was during girlfriends. That was a Jane Loster earring. No. I don't even have now. I don't have anything that expensive. No.

I'm not a jewelry person. you know, that's not my thing I have some lovely little pieces that my more my mother's yeah, but nope You're literally buying a safety pin as a yeah now. I'm like I'm a girl who wears like safety pins and I'll take a burette and just Clip it on my yeah, I put a rubber ran around my Bigger and call it ring for sure little tin foil Totally totally I see that with them around my finger and call it ring. For sure. Little tin foil. Totally, totally. I used to do that with them. I wanted braces so badly, so I would put paper clips

in my mouth. Oh, I would put a rubber band in the front. And then like, why did you want braces? What was that? You know what else it was to do? I used to take popsicle sticks and put conditioner on my legs and pretend I was shaving. Because I wanted to be an older woman.

I sort of put my legs in. I wanted to put my leg up on the bathtub and cover my leg in conditioner. And I would take the popsicle stick and be like, shaving. And then you know what else I did. I told you I was obsessed with being older. I had a Hello Kitty keychain.

And I put bob Bobby pins on it, because you can hook the Bobby pin on like a key. And it was like my keychain, and I would sit, and I would, I had this big book. It was like a hard bound, hardcover book. I never would read it, and I would open the book with my keys, and I would sit the keys next to me,

and I would sit in the lobby of a hotel, and I would, like if we weren't somewhere as a family, and I would sit the keys next to me and I would sit in the lobby of a hotel and I would, like, if we weren't somewhere as a family and I would sit with my book open and I would pretend I was reading. I have no idea what was in the book and I was such an actress and I would read the book and then someone would come and I would look up,

open the book again. I would shave, I would read books, I had a key chain and then there was one other thing that I was like, I was such a nightmare. Oh, the other thing is, when something would make me cry, I would read books, I had a keychain, and then there was one other thing that I was like, I was such a nightmare. Oh, the other thing is whenever something would make me cry, I'm such a cryer, but then I would go to my room and then I'd light up on the floor.

And I would watch the tears puddle. Oh my God! I would watch them puddle. And then I would look in the mirror and I would be like, oh my God! See how you let's cry? See how I let you cry. I would see if I could and I'd be like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you know, there's those people that really are such good cryers. And I'm not that person. Like it just, I have to

make that. Yeah, well, I mean, Claire Danes is a great cry. And she makes the face just like, I don't care. You're seeing all the bones. It's all the ugly. It's kind of amazing. It's kind of amazing. Yeah, I love it. There's a who's the one there's someone who's like a beautiful cryer just like. Yeah, yeah, just come out. Maybe it's both talks. So I think that keeps your face completely. Can't imagine I always say to people. I said this to someone and she's so misunderstood it. I was like, my face is my's Botox, though, I think. That might keep your face completely. Can you imagine I always say to people,

I said this to someone and she's so misunderstood it. I was like, my face is my money. She's like, I know as I should get Botox. Oh. And I was like, no, like my, my, like the fact that it makes all the ugly faces. Yeah. On Blackish, half the time I didn't say anything.

Mm-hmm, tall. It was all my, yeah. Yeah, and I would go into looping and it was constantly this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That way. Sounds to put over these faces you're making. Exactly. Let's try and just the way that's crazy and look that Tracy's giving.

Insane, anyway. Oh my God, love, I think you're doing this. This is so much fun. And I got to eat, yummy. You're going to eat a little something I fed you. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Dinner's on me is a production of Neon Hum Media, Sony Music Entertainment, and a kid named Becca Productions. It's hosted by Yours Truly.

It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Chloe Chobal is our associate producer, Sam Bear, engineered this episode. Hansdale She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Samuelison, special thanks to Alexis Martinez and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson, join me next week.

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