Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Justin Long

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

Actor and podcaster Justin Long joins the show. Over delicious dan dan noodles and shrimp wontons, we’ll get into his love story with “Blue Crush” star Kate Bosworth, what it was like going on his ex-girlfriend's talk show, and he’ll do some of his impressive impressions. This episode was recorded at Pine & Crane in Downtown Los Angeles, CA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hi, it's Chessy. Today on the show, you know him from Dodgeball, Jeepers Creepers, Barbarian and his own hit podcast, Life is Short with Justin Long. It's, well, you guessed it, Justin Long. Long. Not many things pair with long. I've spoken about this before. Shlong. Shlong, that's what they called me in high school.

This is Dinner's On Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. So Justin and I have been in each other's orbit, as one might say, for quite some time. We have many mutual friends in common. He's also a theater lover, as am I. Anyway, I remember watching him on a TV show called Ed, and on that TV show, his co-star was none other than

my future pretend sister on TV, and true friend in real life, Julie Bowen. And she's always spoken so highly of him. I really admire his work. I admire the projects he chooses. And I'm also a fan of his podcast, Life is Short with Justin Long, that he has with his brother, who's not in the title.

Classic celebrity behavior. I was so excited when Justin invited me to be on his podcast. And when we were wrapping up, he kind of, well well not kind of, he did invite himself onto my podcast, which was really nice because it's so lovely to be pursued. It's been a while. So Justin and I ended up picking a restaurant to go to for this episode in downtown Los Angeles.

That might've been my first mistake. Justin, he's lost. No, no, we're over here, we're over here. I have to move my car. I just parked in a loading zone. Look at the driver. Is this on or are we on? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I parked in a loading zone. Oh no, move it. I have my driver, sorry, my driver parked in a loading zone. Classic Hollywood behavior. Yeah, yeah. I'll be right back. We'll see you in like half hour.

I brought Justin to Pine and Crane in, as I said, downtown LA. It's a relatively new location for this Taiwanese spot. If you're an Angelino and call yourself a foodie, then you know it's Silver Lake location, which always has a line winding around the front, down the block, around the corner. It's known for its comforting dishes like Dan Dan noodles, Mapu tofu, and its assortment of cold appetizers like wood ear mushrooms and seaweed salad. The downtown LA location has an indoor outdoor vibe with one of the walls opening up like a garage door to the patio. So I got to have a moment of zen out there with my coffee as

I waited for Justin to park his car. Tick-tock, Justin. Okay, let's get to the conversation. Finally. And here we are. Finally. Hi. Hey, oh man, I'm so,

I have to try to curb this because I feel so giddy. Why, are you excited? I'm excited to be doing this, to see you. Maybe there's nothing wrong with giddy, but I often feel giddy about things that I just love. I do love food. I love eating.

I love this restaurant in particular. I go to the one in Silver Lake. Me too. Often. Let me tell you, this morning I had plans to do so many other things before coming here. Uh-huh, yeah. And just finding a place to park. Those are your plans.

It took me a half hour to find a parking garage. I was going to go to the gym before this. Now it didn't happen. What else did you plan on doing? That was kind of it. I was going to go to the gym and then I was going to have a cup of coffee and look over my Justin Long research. Well, that's good.

You didn't need to do that. I did not need to do that. I'm going to try to turn you onto this as an activity to do, because I was looking for, I found, I've been reading about play. I missed like playing, you know? And so I've been wanting to play tennis and then I keep hearing about pickleball. Yes, pickleball is a big thing.

Have you tried? I haven't yet. Well, only do it if you are okay being like- Obsessed with it? Yeah. You know who built a pickleball court in their backyard? Who? I hope I know them. Julie Bowen.

Are you serious? Yeah. She moved- Oh my God. What's her address? Yeah, yeah, so 423. It is Meghan Trainor's old house. Oh shit.

Yes, and- What's your sign? I got dumps. No, no, so 423, it is Meghan Trainor's old house. Oh shit. Yes, and- What's your song, I Got Dumb, no, no, no. All about that bass. All about that bass. And I can get my Gucci on, Gucci on. I can get my Louis Vuitton, but even with my record on, I made you look, I made you- I definitely masterized the lyrics, but that's Meghan Trainor.

Made you look at what? At whatever she wanted to make you look at. At her, at whatever, the Gucci shoes is. She just wanted people to look. Yeah, she just wanted. But anyway, so Julie lives in Megan's old house. Good to know. Yeah, so she has a pickleball cord.

Now, here's the question. How do I, because I haven't texted her in probably, I haven't seen her in probably about a year. So how do I haven't texted her in probably, I haven't seen her in over, probably about a year. So how do I reach out to her in a way that doesn't seem, like all I want from her now is to play Pickleball. We're gonna send her this clip. Oh yeah, okay. And say this was us casually talking

and this is Justin worrying about how he's gonna sound when he calls you. Oh honey, what would she say? What would she say? She would say, oh come on now. Yeah, she'd jump on my lap. Yeah, she'd jump on your lap. And all would be forgiven.

Oh my God, I have photos of Julie and I on set where, I mean it must be so disturbing, if these photos ever leaked it would be so disturbing for fans to see because she plays my sister on television. Oh yeah, yeah. And it's like her almost making out with me. Yes. Like she's rattling me.

How do we say this? She's very tactile. She's very tactile. I mean, she's a real. She could have a conversation with a piece of paper. Oh, yeah. She could strike up conversation with anything. What is that?

I'm always fascinated by people who look like that and who are that bright and curious. And I would think that's why you're good at this. I have a curiosity about, lately it's been people's names. I'm really curious about where the names come from. I go to Trader Joe's and I like talking to, I met an Abel yesterday. Oh.

Yes. Very like old school Bible. I know and he- It's very first testament. It is. It's like dark first testament. Yeah. It's very like old school Bible. I know and- It's very first Testament. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's like dark first Testament. Yeah. It's like, it's like hardcore.

Abel is like connected to throwing stones at his brother or something. I think he did stone him, but he somehow killed, I think he murdered his brother. Yeah, we're just making fun. The comments for this part are gonna be outstanding. That's- Cain murdered Abel. Cain murdered Abel. That's Joanna piping in with the facts of the Bible.

Thank you for that, yeah. Cain is the more, Abel was just a victim. Abel was just a bystander. He's gonna hang out with his bro. Yeah, great name. And you're just Justin Long. How niche has this podcast become? It's a great name.

It's not. It is a great name. Long, not many things pair with long. I've spoken about this. Schlong. Schlong, that's what they called me in high school. Justin Schlong. Yes, on a broadcast we asked people if they had a nickname

and mine was Schlong and it went on for so long that I, thank you, that I just adopted it. Justin Schlong. And I stopped caring about it. You know, because when you're that age, everything bothers you. It's your porn name. When you go into porn, officially, because I know you played a porn star,

when you officially go into porn, that will be your name, Justin Schlong. Here's the problem, Jesse. What? It's already taken. There's a porn star. Oh, shit. Name.

Why are they called, oh, porn actors are called porn stars. I wouldn't call myself a star. The first movie, they're a star. Yeah, yeah. Okay, calm down. I wouldn't call myself a star. The first movie they're a star. Yeah, yeah. Okay, calm down. You need to prove yourself first. Hey there. Hi, how are you?

Good, thanks. What is your name? I'm Emerald. Emerald. Emeralds. Yeah, yeah. That's a great name. Oh, we're talking about a great name.

Thank you, it's my birthstone. No kidding, that's why you were given that name? Yeah, hippie parents, what are you gonna say? Would you like any beverages? Yes. Yeah. Oh, this side. I just had a coffee, so I don't know if I need more of that.

Although that salted cream on that coffee was delicious. Ooh, you sold me. I'll try whatever that is. What about sea salt cream on green tea? I like it. It's a jasmine green tea too. That sounds great. You know what, a hot one or are you getting a hot one?

I'm gonna get a hot one. Sorry, can I have the same thing? You want me to say it? Sure, yeah, well I'll get these going. Thank you. Yeah, and I'll be back in a little bit. Thanks, Sam. Okay, I did just listen to a few of your podcasts.

I listened to your conversation with Sam Rockwell, but then I also listened to your conversation with your now wife, Kate. Yes, yeah. Kate Bosworth, I should say full name. You and Kate met on set, but years before. You started dating 2022? We met on a Neil LaBeute movie about a toxic man

who goes home with a kind of mysterious woman, and then the woman's sister shows up in this old gothic house, and he tries to have, get all three of them together for fun times, and then at the end, the two, the women, another woman appears and they all kind of rip him apart. They're vampires. It's revealed they're vampires.

So it's like one of his plays, but with a little like twist in it. But yes, we met under, it was a low budget movie, great crew, we were shooting all nights. Thank you, Emerald. Thank you. But back to me. Oh, god, that's good.

Yeah, we met, she doesn't remember this, but I had met her like 12 years earlier at a place called Roosevelt Hotel. I know the Roosevelt, yeah. Remember they had the bowling alley? Yes. Yeah, what was it called? I don't remember the name of it,

but it was like a bar and a bowling alley. Yes, yes, and our producer friend, our friend Holly, who I affectionately, I love doing impressions of people, and I do, usually do people that I like. Yeah. And it's so, I mean this affectionately, but she kind of talks like this.

And she's like, oh my God, you have to meet Kate. And of course I knew who she was and I was very excited to meet her. And she's like, Kate, Kate, this is Justin, Justin. But it was also like probably like one or 2 a.m. at like, and I now know Kate much better. And I know when she's, the few times I've been around where she's a little messed up,

she gets like hyper focused, you know? So she wasn't like slurring or anything, but she was just like, just keep it together. Yes, press. Super present, yeah. I think that's how I get when I've had a few too many too. Yes, well that's what I get. I gotta focus, I'm gonna remember this,

and then the opposite happens. Yes. So when I saw her on that job years later, I said, we had that moment where I said, hey, good to see you, and she was like, uh-huh. And how arrogant of me to think that she would remember, because it was like, we said all of like 20 words to each other.

Right, right, right, right. But I saw her doing the math, like, oh my god, I don't remember this. But I have to kind of play it like, uh-huh. So she gave me a very neutral, oh, uh-huh. She didn't want to insult me and say, I have no recollection. She felt kind of sheepish. But yeah, that's when we met.

And we did not fall in love the first time, of course. Neither one of you were available to fall in love. No. No. No, you were with other people. Right. Yeah. And.

It's interesting how that always comes about. I met my husband when he was actually technically dating someone else as well. Huh. And I asked him out and he said, you know, I'm with someone but we can go at his friends. I said, I'm 10 years older than him. I've been doing that sort of ambiguous dating thing

for a while and I was like, Justin, I have enough friends. I don't need any more friends. And so I basically rejected his offer to go hang out. I was like, but I don't need that. Let me ask you about that because my feeling with Kate was, my friends, people don't believe me when I say this. I did not, because she's so, she's such, obviously like a beautiful person.

She's such a like aesthetically beautiful. Yes, she is. But I did not have, the way I felt about her was like an immediate, like deep, like I've known you forever friend, a friendship. A true friendship. Just when you first met her at the bowling alley? No, no, no, no.

That was just like, this person's clearly messed up and they're trying not to be. Okay, okay, okay. When you remet her on the movie. When I remet her and it felt like, oh, we're just gonna always know each other. And then I started thinking, well, how is that gonna work?

Because I didn't really know her situation at the time. Oh yes, great. Thank you so much. Okay, so we have mushrooms. Oh yum. Smash cucumber salad and a little bit of lotus roots. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Justin tells me about his friendship with ex-girlfriend Drew Barrymore, and the sweetest thing his now wife, Kate Bosworth, did when he appeared on Drew's talk show.

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New episodes of Making Space with Hoda Kotb are released every Wednesday. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with more Dinners on Me. It's delicious, it's so crunchy. What I was saying about friendship, because you weren't available, but were you physically attracted? Like was there a sexual component? He wasn't available, I was available.

And he was like, I'm dating someone and he said we can go out as friends and I said I don't need friends. That's interesting. I don't need any more friends. Yeah, I get it. I have my friend capacity, I don't see friends. I don't need any more friends. I have my friend capacity. I don't see the friends I already know enough. You have two. I have two friends that I have.

And so I said, that's cool. Don't worry about it. Like that's fine. I'm happier with someone. Well, you were honest. But then when he was available, I came right back around and I asked him about his wife when I saw him again. And he was like, oh, we broke up. And I said, great around and I asked him about his wife when I saw him again and he was like, oh, we broke up.

And I was like, great. And I asked him out immediately. So I mean, you know, kind of a similar situation. How long between times that you saw each other? And did you think about him? Six months maybe. And was it like, were you like, how disappointed were you?

Was it like, had you been thinking about him? I had nothing invested in him. I barely knew him. He was really, he is, he continues to be really handsome. And he was interesting. He'd gone to law school. I was actively trying, oh, I want to talk about this with you, I was actively trying not to date anyone

in the business, so this was appealing to me. I did that. I did that for a couple years. You've done a really bad job of that job, right? I know. You have like that for a couple years. You've done a really bad job of that, by the way. You have like- I tried and failed. Famously- I am, but- They did a lot of very famous actresses.

Yes, and after one particular actress that wasn't the best ending of Relay, I made a real concerted decision to avoid dating people and the actresses. So I dated a musician for a little while. She was a very lovely person. And when that didn't work out, I thought, I was 40 and I thought, I think I'm just gonna be single. I think I'm just gonna be a, I was very'm just gonna be a happy, I was very happy.

And I felt like sex and that dating was just complicating my life. And I always felt kind of happier and more connected to me and the world when I was single. Yeah. So, so the time, you know, Kay and I talk about timing a lot and like, because we had all these near misses, not just the time we ran into each other,

but there was a movie I was gonna do, she was gonna, you know, we lived down, we lived on this random street up in the hills. And sometimes I lament like not, just because I love her so much, I think, oh, I would have liked to have had more time with her, but the truth is, I think for both of us, and she said this to me when she goes,

I think you met me at the perfect time. And I said, well, I think you met me at the perfect time. I don't know that I would have been ready. And so all those relationships that didn't work out and think that those things that had been regrets of mine took on a different light, and they just became stepping stones and lessons. You know, I mean, obviously breakups

are incredibly difficult, but I mean, the one silver lining to them is that, you know, you hopefully come out of them with a better sense of like who you are, you know, you learn what you need and what you don't need and what you're looking for. And if you can move forward after each one, that's great, it sounds like you have. They're gifts then.

And I think that of, I don't understand the relationships that end, and sure, all relationships, there's a difficult, there's a period of difficulty, but I don't understand carrying that with you for the remainder of your life. You know, not, I don't know how you feel about your exes if you're on good terms, but I endeavor to be on only loving terms because things don't work out,

but you still spend years of good years and good times, and that I don't understand. Well, it's interesting, because I have had conversations with my exes, and I've run into some of them, and it's always been pretty lovely. I've never done it when the ex is a talk show host, and I've reunited on their television show.

Right, that's another layer of- I mean, I did watch, I've been on Drew Barrymore's talk show for a few times, and I, so of course I was like, well, oh, Justin's been on this show, let me just go look and see what this is all about. And it was a really, really lovely moment. It was really nice.

It was so sweet. You could see the history you two shared. You could see how much you enjoy each other. Yeah, that was not at all, I mean, there was not performative, but- Talk to me about that. Had you seen each other before that? Well, yes, yeah.

So we saw each other a couple of years ago in the wake of actually like, I was single and we had that moment that we're trying to define what moving forward in each other's lives because we have so much love for each other. You know, at the end of the day, we were like dear friends. And so we were trying to figure that out and then the pandemic happened and things became,

I don't know, we just kind of didn't see each other for a year or two. And so I hadn't seen her in a couple of years when I did the show. And when you're with Drew, she is so hyper present and loving, but like it's not a shtick, it's not an act. It's like- Yeah, it doesn't feel that way.

No, it's not. And like if Emeril is with me, is so hyper-present and loving, but like it's not a shtick, it's not an act. It's like- Yeah, it doesn't feel that way. No, it's not. And you know, like I've, if Emerald, if she were here with us, she would be like, Emerald, this is the most, the best,

like I, like seaweed salad, I've ever, you know, and she would, and she would mean it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Emerald would be so charmed. And so you, being on her show was that experience and the reminder of that and like how just wonderful that glow feels. And then you turn and there's an audience of like,

people just watching kind of like expect, like not knowing it was a strange, that was the only strange juxtaposition of like, I know her so well. And when I'm with her, there's such a familiarity that I swear to God, Jesse, I forgot the nature of the thing. I forgot the public nature.

And then like, you kind of snap out of it, you know, and then people like have a reaction in the audience and you're reminded of like, oh yeah, you know, this is being filmed. And then I, you know, there's. And then it becomes a little strange. Yeah, I mean, I thought it was very sweet. You both were like almost talking shorthand to one another and then like realizing, oh, we got to fill the audience in

on like what we're talking about. But there was this really sweet moment where you said, you know, I will always love you. And she said, I will always love you as well. And you hugged and it was just so sweet. I don't think love, I mean that. I mean, I don't think love, unless there's like some great offense,

some like, God, I mean some criminal offense, I don't think love like disappears. Right, it changes forms maybe. I meant that, I mean that about her. When I think of her, I have such deep affection and you know, always root for her and I just, I love her. But then it's like, then when you snap back to like, well outside of that bubble of like,

kind of like a reality mixed with this televised thing. Yeah. And then your reality outside of that is, well now you have a partner in your life who is like so loving and so accepting, makes it so easy. A lot of my like people said to her actually like, how did you feel about that? You know, was that- The Kate? Yeah, was that a strange and this makes me sound like, kind of like thoughtless, but like,

I didn't consider that it might be a really weird thing for her. Interesting. Until I heard people's reaction, and it was so not weird for her that she, I was with her and she's like, oh my God, I, Drew posted this thing about me on Instagram, and I said, oh, in response, I said, oh, what was it, it was in response to Kate had sent her this big thing of flowers

and a really loving note. I didn't even know that. Kate didn't even tell me. She's just that kind of thoughtful person and very, very evolved. So I hope I don't take that for granted. Well, listen, they both share something in common. Yes, that's right.

They have a very, there's something that they both know a lot about. Yes. Which is you. Yes, that's right. They have a very, there's something that they both know a lot about. Yes. Which is you. Yes, I know. So that should connect people, I guess. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I,

and then Kate went on the show, you know, and- Yeah, I was gonna ask if she'd been on the show. Yeah, she did. And they had, you can imagine, I mean, that's a fun one to see. And how was that for you? Yeah, it's a good question. It was, you know, it's a little,

I don't know if the word strange suggests, what is like a good version of strange? Out of body, alternate universe, surreal. Yeah, surreal. Do you all have any questions about anything on the menu? Joanna has talked about these Dan Dan noodles. Oh, they're the best. The beef roll sounds great.

It's great. It's thinly sliced beef, poised. It's delicious. Have you had it? Yeah, I've had almost everything. I love the, I'll tell you, I love the, the spicy, the shrimp wontons. I'm gonna go to Dan Dan noodles.

Yes, I see you do the Dan Dan. You know someone? Hi. I was just posing for that young man's photo. And then I see you do the Dan Dan. You know someone? Hi. I was just posing for that young man's photo. And then I'm gonna do the beef roll too. Yeah, do the beef roll. It's a heavy hitter around here. Perfect, I'm having it.

Thanks, Emeril. These little kids. Are there people taking photos of us? Yeah, but imagine getting mad at these little kids. You're so cute. Hi. Hi. What do you think they know you from? That's interesting. Oh, maybe Goosebumps. I did the

show Goosebumps last year. I got some kids which I was excited about. I was like, oh, these kids are behind me. I would guess 10 and 11. How old are you? How old are you guys? 11 and 11. How old are you guys? 11! And you're both 11? Okay. How do you know Justin? Goosebumps!

Oh, Alvin and the Chipmunks. Alvin and the Chipmunks. Okay. That's just a voice, right? Yeah, well, maybe they looked it up. Yeah, okay. Well, nice to meet you guys. Sorry to interrupt your meal.

They have no idea who I am. They have no idea what a superstar is sitting here. I'm a Tony Award winner. What's happening? Something's coming out. There's a date element to this. Of you and me? Well, yeah, I mean, we've never had a meal

with the other before. No. And obviously it's being recorded. And so I think, and I want you to like me, you know. So I'm thinking about the food that we eat now as being, my fear about this was that I'd be so, because like I said, I love this food and I get so distracted by food that it's hard for me to keep to think,

you know what I mean? Yeah, while I'm enjoying something. Don't worry about it. If you want to stop and enjoy your food, I will watch you eat in silence for a good 30 minutes. What is that going to be like the podcast? Just hearing me chew and like, mmm. I'll describe exactly what's happening.

Justin's eyes have rolled into the back of his head. Thank you. Now that I'm scarred forever, there's the beef. There's the beef. Beef roll. We got the beef. Beef. Yeah.

I love it. Oh, and the scallion pancake. That's scallion pancake. It's incredible. I tried to make scallion pancakes once and they were not successful. Oh, you know, I talked to someone whose parents, she was on Les pod, Leslie Lau,

her parents were Taiwanese, and she said there's a big endorsement for Trader Joe's. Oh. That she got the scum and pancakes from Trader Joe's, and the parents thought, or she thought the parents had made it. Interesting, okay. Because it was so delicious.

That's a very high endorsement. Yeah, okay. Or maybe they'll send us some free. Yeah, right. Trader Joe's, then. Oh, yum. They're Joe's done. Oh yum. They're not running to sponsor podcasts. I don't see them really advertising much, you know?

I've never seen like Trader Joe's, hey, I'm Joe. I got stuff to trade with you. I have things to trade. Food. It was an idea. If anyone from Trader Joe's is listening, I'm happy to play Trader Joe.

Listen, you're a marketing expert. You were in the Mac commercials. Speaking of, I mean, like if there was a mood board. Ladies and gentlemen, that's a transition. That's what we have. If there was a mood board for the early aughts, like your career would be like all over the mood board. Because we have the Mac commercial.

We have Drew Barrymore. We have Alvin and the Chimungs. We have Britney Spears. We have- And Alvin and the Chimungs. And Alvin and the Chimungs. We have Britney Spears. We have Dodgeball. We have Lindsay Lohan. I've been thinking about Dodgeball because, like I said, I've been playing, those kids are hilarious.

Are you laughing at the kids? Yeah. Those Alvin fans. They're like, I wonder what he's doing now. Do you ever get that? So what are you doing now? Yeah, yeah. That's always fun to get.

Well, I'm still acting. My kids grew up on you, oh gosh. These little montons are something very scrotal. There is something very scrotal about them. Mainly their size and their shape. Yeah, they're quite scrotal. No, no? Yeah.

Well, I call it like I sees it. You've ruined beef, now you've ruined scrotums for me. So every time I see a scrotum, I'm gonna think of dumplings. I thought I improved scrotums for some reason. Um, I've been so sore, speaking of scrotums, I've been so sore because I went, my chiropractor said I have a problem with my ankle, my hip, and he said it's because you went too hard.

And it reminded me of when we did dodgeball, the same thing happened. I was like 24 at the time, and we did dodgeball practice for like a week with the national team, with the national champions. It was cool. And I was, I rarely feel good about myself athletically. Like, like, same. Yeah. But dodgeball was the one sport, because I was really little, I was four foot ten and I weighed 89 pounds going into high school. So I was, if you can imagine, I was a foot 10 and I weighed 89 pounds going into high school. So I was, if you can remember. You were a little guy.

I was a little guy. And so that lent itself well to dodgeball because I was little and I was scared. So I was good at evading, you know, evading balls. And so when we had that first day of practice, I just went gangbusters and I was like, oh, I'm kicking ass, I'mbusters. And I was like, oh, I'm kicking ass. I'm like, crushing.

And everybody was like, whoa. And I was getting compliments. And I just felt so good about myself. And the guys on the national team, they said, yeah, yeah. No, you're really, you know. They said, just make sure you stretch. Stretch a lot. And I thought, psh, Steven Rude has to stretch.

I'm 23. I'm in the prime. Stretch after dodgeball. Rude has to stretch. I'm 23. Yeah, I'm in the prime. I'm in my, stretch after dodgeball. I never had to stretch after playing dodgeball. I woke up the next day, and I'm not exaggerating, I couldn't get out of bed. I mean, I got out of bed, I guess I am slightly, but I was so sore, I was like hunched over, and I had to sit on the bench the next day of rehearsal.

I couldn't move, I couldn't move properly. It was a real humbling experience. And now I have it for Pickleball. Yeah. It comes back around. You gotta be careful. Was Dodgeball your first thing that kind of changed your life?

Yeah, mine, I was living at home when we did Ed. But I think Dodgeball may have been the one that, you know what it did, it just opened, there were a lot more opportunities after that for movies, I guess, and it was because of Ed that I got that, because it was an episode from Ed that the writer, Rossum, the writer director saw, and he wrote this part for me,

the part, the character's name is Justin, and I thought, oh my, I did the table read with, and Ben Still and Vince Vaughn were two of my favorite, I mean, I just like, I like so admired them. They were like idols of mine. And so it was such a fantasy and I thought, well, and I was really nervous for the table read because I thought this part is mine to lose.

He wrote it for me, I knew all that. And then the studio didn't, there was pushback. They wanted somebody younger. Because I was way too old to play that part, really. I was, like I said, 24, 25. And it was written for a 15 year old. And so there were other guys that were auditioning. And I remember I was going to take this other job.

I was driving back from Florida. I had an offer to do something else and I just remember calling Ross and saying, how real is, you know, what should I do? And he goes, I can't tell you. I would just say, you know, make your own decision. And so I did. It was one of the only gutsy calls. When I was younger, I was a lot more, I'd be like, well fuck it, I rolled the dice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, for sure. I wish I still had some of that. Let me go. Yeah.

Thank God. I mean, but you also had like, some of your first big jobs were people with like, you were working with Sigourney Weaver, you were working with Vince Vaughn, you were working with Vince Stiller. I mean, massive stars. Sam Rockwell.

What was? The Alex Dequest was a, that was a trip because I had never been, I'd been on a plane once, I think, but never been to LA, never flown past, you know, west of the Mississippi. Because you were raised in Connecticut. Raised in Connecticut, my, yeah,

so my grandparents lived in Florida, so we'd take the train or we'd drive down there. My mom was both financial and my mom was afraid of flying. So anyway, it was all new. It was like, and being on that lot, I think it was the, it was DreamWorks, so it was maybe, was it the Universal Lot? I forget, Paramount? We were one of those lots.

Big lot, yeah. That was a second. This was for Galaxy Quest. For Galaxy Quest, and it was like what I'd always imagined a Hollywood experience was. There were like aliens smoking cigarettes in between breaks, and like, it was so, and of course, Tim Allen and these stars that I knew.

And Sam was, it's funny, because Sam was the one that took me under his wing on that job, really like recognized that I was, we just liked each other right away. We just, you know, like any other relationships. Well, what's the age difference between you two? It's 10 years. Okay.

You know, cause Sam's also like a true, when I think of Sam, he's a true actor. So that was a really great mentor to have. Absolutely. You know, just, we really got to know each other a summer later when we did a Williamstown play. Williamstown, yeah.

And it was a great, such a fun. For people who don't know, Williamstown has this amazing theater festival up in the Berkshires where it's basically like summer camp for actors who you adore and love. Like I got to do it a few summers ago. And it was like Uma Thurman was rehearsing an Ipsen play. Alfred Molina was like, yeah, yeah, I saw your rehearsal. That's right, that's right, yeah. I know, it's a really. So you were doing a play with Sam.

Yeah, and so Sam was rehearsing for, he was doing a movie next, and I had booked Jeepers Creepers. I had gotten Jeepers Creepers while I was up there and Sam was going to do a David Mamet movie, Heist with Gene Hackman. And so he said, hey, hey, hey man, would you mind running lines with me? I got to do, I got this movie and I was like, oh, I'm so excited to do that. I've been, two years earlier, been doing Mamet and like, my college theater, you know, and I was like, oh my God, been doing Mammoth in like my college theater, you know, and I was like, oh my God, the new Mammoth script.

And so you'll be the Gene Hackman part. And I'm like, okay, you're the Delroy Linda part. And so we started running these lines that were like, one I remember was, he goes, what do you want me to be? He goes, I want you to be quiet. And he goes, what, like quiet like an ant pissing on cotton? He goes, I want you to be quiet. And he goes, what, like quiet like an ant pissing on cotton? He goes, I want you to be as quiet as an ant

not even thinking about pissing on cotton. You know, like those wild lines of, and I was like, this is so fun and cool. And I had told him I was doing this horror movie and he said, well, and he was generally, he said, well, let's run your lines. And I was embarrassed, you know, because by comparison they were like.

We just put down a mammoth script. Yeah, and then it's like this B horror movie that I'm now very proud of. But it was like, hey, we got to get out of here. And what's that thing chasing us? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said, and he recognized that I was self-conscious about that.

And he said a really important thing. He said, hey, man, listen, there's a a big, it was a lead role in this movie. And he said, you got to treat this like it's your hamlet. You got to treat this like it's fucking hamlet. You know, and he was really, he made a real point of telling me that and instilling that like the importance of like the work. So important. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. I mean, no matter what the role is,

you have to take it with, I mean, I look at like, I don't know, I'm gonna say Meryl Streep, but I mean, the amount of attention she put into like, Mamma Mia and Steer Hunter is the same amount of attention, but like someone would think, oh, Mamma Mia, that's fluffy. But yet you watched that performance. Like this is the best performance. Totally, yes.

Of this role ever. Yes, yes. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Justin tells me about why he jumped at the part of the sleazy, canceled Hollywood guy in Barbarian, and which high school musical heartthrob first had the part?

Okay, be right back. Now, I don't know about you, but I can really nerd out about movies. Hearing from actors and directors about how they made them and analysis from writers and critics, I just love it. If you also like to go down the rabbit hole on Hollywood's newest films and TV shows, you have to check out Kermode and Mayo's take. Now, across the pond in the UK, it is the most popular film review podcast and Kermode and Mayo are absolute legends. You can hit the archives to hear their take on all those Oscar nominated films from Poor Things to Oppenheimer. But there's also so many exciting episodes coming up

featuring buzzy films and the people who worked on them. Some of the guests for April will include Dev Patel, who joins the show to discuss his new film Monkey Man, which he wrote, directed, and did some amazing stunts for. They also have Kirsten Dunst on the podcast to talk about the hot new action drama Civil War. And Luca Guadagnino, who you may remember as a director of Call Me By Your Name, he stops by to talk about his latest film, Challengers. Listen and follow Kermode and Mayo's take

wherever you get your podcasts. Are you the kind of person who gets excited to learn, no matter what the topic is, did you grow up reading the Encyclopedia Britannica just for fun? Are you your trivia team's secret weapon? Okay, if you said yes to any of these questions, then Getting Curious is the podcast for you. Each week, Jonathan Van Ness,

you know I'm from Queer Eye and Gay of Thrones, they sit down for a deep dive conversation with a variety of experts to answer all of Jonathan's burning questions on topics like the Northern Lights, or foraging, or one of my personal favorite episodes, the history of pockets. Make sure to check out some of the past episodes. For history buffs, Jonathan asks Dr. Stephen Thrasher, when viruses spread, who's the most vulnerable? So get excited and get curious. Listen to new episodes of Getting Curious every Wednesday,

wherever you get your podcasts. ["Cocaine Bear Horror Film"] And we're back with more dinners on me. I just watched, I do not like horror films. It was actually hard for me to be in Cocaine Bear. Although I I just watched, I do not like horror films. It was actually hard for me to be in Cocaine Bear. Although I'd hesitate to call Cocaine Bear a horror film. I mean, it was kind of gory at times,

but it was, you know, it was a romp. So I was like, I'm just gonna watch the trailer of Barbarian. Because I don't know if I can watch the movie. And then I watched the trailer, I was like, okay, I have to watch this. It sounds too interesting. And it was a really cool premise. And so I watched Barbarian a few nights ago.

And first of all, it's a fantastic film. It's really good, it's really well done. He's a talented person. And you're playing a role that I've never seen you do before. You're kind of a recently canceled celebrity. Yeah. Just kind of a dick. I was really interested in the idea of like

zero accountability. Yeah. People who do things, he's done this horrific thing and it's not taken any accountability. And so it's until he's in a life and death situation, it's almost like a, I was thinking like a deathbed confessional.

So he comes close to confessing, but then he, whatever. I don't want to spoil the movie for him. But that part of it I was really interested in. And also something happens to your eyes in that one. It's like a theme that you can have. Yeah, I think that's Zach. I think that was his, you know, I've never asked Zach this who wrote it and directed it,

but I wonder if that was in the original script, because I know he had offered that part to somebody before me. Meryl Streep. It's surprising because she knew anything. No, it was Zach Efron was going to play it. It had been offered that part. God, I wish that I was on the same list as Zach Efron. I'm so flattered to know that I was. I left an agency once because I found out I was on a list with all these hunks, like

Jake Gyllenhaal and all these things. How interesting. That's not how, you know. You're not seeing me the right way. Yeah. So, but Zac, I was flattered and he's a good actor and so I was like, and he would have been kind of right for that part, you know, I can kind of see. I was a less conventional choice, I think, for the part.

So I will forever be grateful to Zach for taking that chance. Zach was kind of like, Zach Kroeger, not Efren. Both of them, I'm grateful to both Zachs. It was just a beautifully written script. I mean, you definitely have a, like you have been a master of several genres, I think, you know, in the early aughts,

definitely a lot of rock coms. But like, it's like a, you're in like this horror thing too that kind of straddle the line between these different genres. The horror thing was, you know, whenever you do, we talked about this when you were on, like if you do something that people see, that becomes like the thing that you start.

And so I love the horror genre, I love the genre. I'm like a horror geek myself. I feel like it lends itself to bigger swings. When I was doing Goosebumps in Vancouver, I did a small part in this horror movie, and the guy, and he was clearly the villain. It was a clearly villainous role, which is so fun, because I haven't had those opportunities,

and now those are coming. And I thought about two things, which is, one was like, what is the actual tone of the voice? And I was playing around with like, you know, deeper, you know, or like Phil Hoffman in Mission Impossible where he's like, you have a wife, you have a girlfriend, I'm gonna kill her.

I'm gonna find, you know, when he's just like, I'm gonna find her and kill her. I mean, he's just like, he just throws it away. And I thought about Sam, another thing he told me when it comes to playing villains, he said, Alan Rickman gave him really great advice. He said, he said, just throw it away as much as you can. Throw it away, and Sam was like, okay, what do you mean?

He goes, for example, I shot a man and ate a sandwich on Die Hard. I shot him, and I always think that, you know, he shot a man and then ate a sandwich on Die Hard. I shot him and I always think that, you know, he shot a man and then ate a sandwich. There's something so chilling about the blasé nature. And so I was thinking about those two things and then I thought, well, I've never, maybe this guy should be charming.

It was kind of like a take on, it's a wonderful life. It was called, it's a wonderful knife. And I found footage from Joel Osteen. For some reason Joel Osteen was on my YouTube and I don't know what my algorithm's telling me. And I thought, well, he commands a lot of people like this guy. This guy's like a corrupt mayor.

He commands a lot of people. People really like him. And yet, I'm not saying Joel Osteen's sinister, but, you know, let's say he is. I thought, that's an interesting, I've never seen that kind of guy, and so I started playing with that voice, and they let me wear fake teeth, and I just started, like, I had this idea for this guy who was, you know, kind of up here, he was up here wanting people to like him,

and he wanted, and he had jokes, you know. Have you ever seen Joel Austin's sermons? He like, he really tells jokes, and then he gets serious, and he comes down, little Bill Clinton, you know. Bye. Bye. So I thought, well, shit, this is like, it's a swing.

You know, but like, but would I have the nerve to do that if like, Martin Scorsese, I'd be like, but would I have the nerve to do that if like, Martin Scorsese, I'd be like, I'd probably stay more in my lane, you know, if it were a Alice and Janney play. Really? I think so, I don't know if I'd have the nerve to, unless somebody came and said, this is what I want,

but I don't know if I'd take those swings, you know. I mean, there's that thing of like, when you show up on the first day of shooting something and it's like, okay, this is the first time this character's speaking. This is the first time anyone else is going to hear my ideas for this. And I always think like, okay, if you're going to do this swing, it has to be now.

And you got to go in confidence. And you got to go in confidence. You can't like go intimately. It's like how Chris Rock talks about like dirty talk. You can't like dance around dirty talk. That's true. You got to say it confidently. By the way, I've tried to do that with Justin

and I've almost stumbled over a word and I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Have you ever done that? Where you like say the wrong word or like, no, you haven't. You're a confident dirty talker. I'm not. I'm not really a dirty talker.

I don't think I dirty, I don't think I, I don't think that, yeah, I don't think that really comes naturally to me. I had an experience once with somebody who wanted to like role play like with relatives stuff. No. Yes. No, it's a hard pass. And I said, they wanted, they first said like daddy,

and I said- Well, that's not so bad. And she was older than me. Oh, okay. But the daddy thing was too much for me. And I said, I, that's not so bad. And she was older than me. Oh, okay. But the daddy thing was too much for me. And I said, I don't know. And so we talked about it afterwards because I was like, let's explore that maybe. It's different in the gay culture.

Daddy's a- Oh, right. We definitely lean into it. Right, because I only recently learned that daddy was a sexual parlance. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A term of sexual parlance. And now I hear it a lot, you know? But so I suggested maybe like,

I said maybe the most I could do is uncle. I don't know if that's a thing. That's a sexy thing. I like how you're offering up other options. I don't think dirty uncles is. Oh, what are, second cousin. Twice removed. I can get down with that.

Can we do great aunts? Yeah. You like that second cousin, twice removed on my mother's side. I think it works. I know one of your other big influences, as is mine, is Michael J. Fox.

Oh man, yeah. And you got to work with him on his show. The Michael J. Fox show is probably about 13, 12, 13 years ago. They did a whole season, and but I think they canceled it before the episode I did aired. But I was just-

What did meeting him mean? Because you are a fan of his, I've assumed from like, Back to the Future and- Oh, Family Ties. Family Ties, yes. All of his movies. I mean, I loved Poison Ivy. I loved Teen Wolf.

What was it about Michael Jackson? He as Alex Keaton as Martin Luther. There's just something cool. Wanted to be him. How he moved, how he, the way he talks. The way he operates. The way he operated. I was really short.

I think that was a big part of it. He was, I don't know, he just seemed my idea of cool. And then I just started really studying him as an actor. And so being around your heroes or people that you look up to and wanting to play it cool, that was my biggest one, Michael J. Fox. Yeah, I imagine. So for the first few days, I just,

I tried to be around him without being creepy, as much as I could. And I knew how many days I was working on the thing. Kind of like schedule. By the time I was like, when you were going to like maybe let him know how much he meant to you. When the dam would break.

What did you say to him? It was, there was a lot of stuttering. And there was, I was emotional. I mean, I came close to, I got really emotional and my version of playing it cool was not all that cool. But he, I also asked, he signed a poster and I thought, well, everyone gets them to probably ask them to sign Back to the Future, you know.

So I had a big secret of my success poster and he signed that and he wrote a really flattering, really complimentary thing that I still have. It's one of my prized possessions. But I, it's, it's surreal. I assume you had scenes with him. I did, I did. And I was playing like a douchey boss that comes in and tries to overhaul their company or something like that. And so I got the little thing, you know, I got the Bluetooth. Like the telemarketing mic.

Yeah. And I'm always exercising while I'm doing business, but I really went for it. And I think he liked playing. I mean, he's a genius when it comes to comedic timing that there was, I could tell that he was, there was a hindrance to that. His body wasn't allowing him to do that. It wasn't allowing him to do what he's so gifted at doing. I mean, the whole thing is, I don't know,

you can see this being tragic or you can do what he did, which is like, you can make something purposeful out of it and you can rise above it. And now I admire him for the man he is. He to me remains the coolest. The coolest. I'm so happy you had time with him. Do you keep in touch with him? We do, we text.

That's great. We text. We were gonna probably go to a, we were trying to find time to go to a Rangers game. We're like pals. I mean, from the outside, it seems like an unimaginable thing, especially for someone who is a comedian,

who uses timing is their thing, and to have that taken away. And he was so physical. It's so physical. It's so physical. He was such a physical actor. I mean, I still have this move, this hand move. Doc, are you telling me I still do this?

I find- The neck to the- The neck, yeah. That's how influential he was. I hope this doesn't sound like douchey stuff because to me it's like I relish getting to get in there. And so that's been the great joy, I think, in doing all this.

The people you meet. Yeah, yeah. So I'm, yeah. Bob, you did this. Me too. I really appreciate it. This is so fun. Look at all this.

["The League Theme Song"] Next week on Dinners on Me, you might know him from the Showtime series, Black Monday, the FX series The League, or his two podcasts, How Did This Get Made and Unspooled. It's comedian, actor and podcaster Paul Scheer will get into his career, fatherhood, and will unpack his new memoir, Joyful Recollections of Trauma. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen,

you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad-free. Just click Try Free at the top of the Dinners on Me Show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinner's On Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinner's On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions.

It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Angela Vang. Sam Baer engineered this episode. Hans-Dyl She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balanz-Kolassny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.