Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Uzo Aduba, Busy Philipps, and Padma Lakshmi on parenting

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

I feel so lucky because in the first season of my podcast, my guests have been incredibly vulnerable and we’ve covered a lot of ground in terms of our lives and careers. But I want to dig a little bit into a theme that’s come up with quite a few guests and that’s close to my heart – parenting. I became a parent for the first time in 2020 and it’s all still very new to me. Having these conversations on the show with parents and soon-to-be parents has been really special for me. In this episode, you’ll hear some of my favorite moments talking about parenthood with “Orange is The New Black” star Uzo Aduba, Busy Philipps of “Girls5Eva” and “Taste the Nation’s” Padma Lakshmi. A Sony Music Entertainment & A Kid Named Beckett production. Interested in advertising on the show, contact [e-mail]. Find out more about other podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts and follow us @sonypodcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When it comes to designing a healthy life and food plan, you need a long-term solution. Well, NUME is here to help. I certainly can understand the stresses of trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle with food and exercise, especially as a parent of two now, and now I've got this podcast. NUME's personalized courses are easy to follow and will help you grow your confidence with tools that you can put into practice on day one. They'll give you the knowledge and the wisdom you need to make informed choices about what you eat. Nume uses science and personalization so that you can manage your weight for the long term. Nume's psychology-based approach helps you build better habits and behaviors that are

easier to maintain. The best part is you decide how NUME fits into your life, not the other way around. Based on a sample of 4,272 numbers, 98% say NUME helps change their habits and behaviors for good. Sign up for your trial today at NUME.com. That's n-o-o-m.com to sign up for your trial today. Hey dinners on me listeners. So I feel so lucky because in the first season of my podcast, my guests have been incredibly vulnerable and we've really covered a lot of ground in terms of

our lives and our careers. But today, I want to dig a little bit deeper into a theme that's come up with quite a few of my guests and it's one that's also very close to my heart. Parenting. I became a parent for the first time in 2020. I have two sons, Beckett and Sullivan. They have absolutely changed my life and ways that I expected them to change my life, but more surprisingly, they've changed my life in ways that I did not expect them to. And I don't know, it's all very new to me still, this parenting thing, being a dad, and having these conversations on the show with other parents and soon to be parents has been really special for me. So today, you're going gonna hear some of my favorite moments

talking about the subject of being a parent with my guests, Uzoa Duba, busy Phillips, and Padma Lockshmi. My interview with Uzoa will kick us off. You know Uzoa from Orange is a new black, or Mrs. America, or most recently painkiller. Uzo was pregnant at the time of this interview and is due shortly.

So it's very possible that she'll be a new mother by the time this episode is published. Uzo, if you're listening, I am so happy for you and I cannot wait for you to be a mom. Okay, let's get to the conversation. How's it going? So you just had a you had a big announcement? Yeah, it's like wild like I'm like

Gonna be a mom. I know crazy. What are you anticipating with this new chapter? Well, and that's what I came here today was like I am gonna like pick Jesse's Oh do it about like parenting I don't know what it felt like for you on your first But it was like I made mine like we set up a bass in that, for example, in our bedroom, and I look at it, and I'm always like saying to Robert, my husband and I'm like, baby,

a baby is going to be in that. Like that's not decorative. That's like, oh, when that's that, so it's coming into the house, it becomes very real. Really? Yeah. I know something about babies,

because I baby sat, but I also don't know anything about that. I mean, same with me. I mean, I was, I took something about babies because I baby sat Mm-hmm, but I also It's so different. Yeah, I mean same with me. I mean I was I Took care of kids like that was my job when I was struggling as an actor I was I was a nanny. Yeah, I'm Annie. Yeah And I thought like oh this will like certainly like lay at the ground We're from being a great parent. It's obviously so different Your heart just cracks open in a way. That's what really surprised me.

And everyone always says this. And it's so cliche, but it's like you're hard living outside of your body. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, oh, that's like a real thing. But like, it's also not a describable thing. Like, people say that. I was like, I don't know what that feels like or that means.

But then like now, like, I mean, I get tear you just thinking about my son. Like this morning, he cried because he like spilled his his granola and like milk when everyone he was like embarrassed and upset with Themself for spilling like my heart like broke from it. I was like it's not a big deal It's just no like I'm gonna clean it up, but like I like almost burst into tears with him because I was like so sad that he was so sad Yeah, it's like what's all that about was like, that's the product of your heart living outside your body. Like, you cannot control that love.

And is it also like a little bit of like, I wish I knew how to heal you, to keep you from this feeling? And it's like, it's not possible. You know what I mean? And you know what it feels like to want to take pain away from someone that you love? Yes, absolutely.

But it's different with the kid. It's like so different. It's a different level that I didn't realize to want to take pain away from someone that you love. Yes, absolutely. But it's different with the kid. It's like so different. It's a different level that I didn't realize was achievable in a great way. And it really does change you chemically. I mean, I'm a different person. Priorities are obviously completely different.

Like, okay, that was going to be my next question. It has life changed, because that's the next thing I wonder, I'm like, how much of my life, like in real time, real, like, stakes, is it going to change? I mean, like, am I gonna be okay with that also, by the way? And you have to be, it's not like there's like, receipt, like, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I could play. I'm still learning how to navigate all this, and I had some really great conversations with other actors who are parents, mostly women, not so many dads, a few dads, but mostly mothers who are like reassuring me that doing the thing that we love doing, and going away and doing that,

is setting such a great example to our kids, to be able to, you have to do the things that you're happy. You take it back, see, to your current away. In a way that I think I was really good, because you have to be able to, you have to do the things that you're happy. You take it back, see it's your current away. In a way that I think I was really good because you have to be really critical about the stuff that comes to you. I mean, before I had kids,

like I was in a position and you were as well, like we can kind of do whatever we wanted to do. I mean, obviously they're scheduling things and like we might have to like say, notice certain things, but like, if the opportunity was there, let's go. But now it's like you have to really look at like, do I want to bring my family with me to this place?

And is it going to take me away from my kids? You know, when I was doing take me out, Sullivan was born and I decided to do it. But I was away from him for basically the first three months. And it was really hard. And I'm so happy I did it. But coming back and like trying to get on to this like moving train that was at home, like, you know, Justin had a system that was in place and I was like,

where do I fit into this? Right. It was really complicated and it took me a long time and it was a very emotional for me to have to like miss so much of that first part. And I am glad I did it. It was a very meaningful experience. But that sacrifice and that just those few weeks of where I felt like I was like all elbows and knees and just like doing the wrong thing and all

times I didn't know what to do like that was taxing on me too. A thousand percent that's something that worries me like I've just like been thinking I'm like okay I had such an amazing mom. I don't want to be less of a parent than like what I was given as parents but then I had to remind myself I was like all the of the sound of a second, is that like, you remember Mom being like, right there and like, always there for you, but the two of the matters, my mom had like 90 jobs. Like, she worked a lot, and she wasn't at every game. She wasn't at every rehearsal.

But like, what I really remember and like, hold on to it, she was there for the stuff that counted, you know what I mean? And like, she could put aside side what she was doing in focus. Yes. And like showed up like, I don't mean we had no business calling her work as often as we were.

So we were like, but we were like calling constantly and she would like answer the phone and like very quickly to do this, like this is not important. You're calling me about Nintendo, but like if I'm calling for something real, she's like, I'm here.

What is it? Stopped everything. And that kind of has given me a little, but like if I'm calling for something real, she's like, I'm here. What is it? Like stopped everything. And that kind of has given me a little bit of like relief of like, you, there going to be probably moments where like you said, like it's like, you're going to have to get off at this stop on the train and it's going to feel like a wild ride, like hanging on by the back, getting back on it. But it's like, as long as your intention is super clear, God willing, they're gonna understand, like,

you are their top priority. The second thing I'll say to that, about the parenting, like, it took me a minute to sort of buckle up and like get into this. And it was actually when I was doing this as America a couple years ago, almost every woman on that show was a parent. I remember I could asking all of them from like Maro to Tracy, Kate,

like who is, I was like, how do you do it? And like they were like, you just do it, easily. And here were these like women who I so admire who had these gigantic careers. And they were managing it. And just were like, you just do it. You guys figure it out and this gave me some peace and that like started to like peak open

like my heart a little bit more to something that I really wanted but was just like, scared of. I think that there's such comfort in knowing that you're gonna make your own rules and they're gonna be the right rules for you and that there is no comfort in knowing that you're going to make your own rules and they're going to be the right rules for you and that there is no right way to do. I mean, I remember Justin and I having like grand poccamations like a right butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, cute, cute, we will not be using iPads or cabinets

in New York. This baby is going to fit into our lives and we're going to have our careers and you know, just to be the way and everyone was like, that's cute. You all right. It's going to be what it is. Yeah. And it is. That's exactly why it becomes this thing that you figure out. Yeah. You mentioned your mom. I know she passed away two years ago. I'm I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that you guys were very, very close. And you're so you're close with your father still. Yes.

Well, my father also passed. Oh, I did not know that. I know, I know that's okay. He passed eight months after my mom passed away. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's like such a whirlwind season of my life. But for people out there who have the experience of being a parentless child, and you know you're now going to be a parent yourself and you're having the experience of it.

You're kind of the next generation. The next generation, and you have these moments when you're feeling this life-grower, learning that life is coming to you. Like, wow, I wish my mom was here, so I could ask her about this. Or like, you know, things moments when I don't know. I worry sometimes in a greater scope.

Like, well, what I have to tell I don't I know. And she's not here, you know, to help me and what if I mess this up because, you know, like there's no one to call. And when I get weeping, like scared about that, I then like have to remind myself, I'm like, she has equipped you because you love her so much.

Maybe she left you like a map somewhere on your heart, you know, so I kind of get through it. You know what I mean. So that's beautiful. Let's take a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, we hear some of my favorite moments talking about raising kids with busy Phillips, meaning that I talk with busy Phillips about raising kids, not that I'm actually raising kids with busy Phillips. You get the not that I'm actually raising kids with busy Phillips.

You get the point. Okay, be right back. It's so funny because when I was a student in grade school and high school, I didn't love the classroom structure, but now as an adult, I actually seek out opportunities to continue my education, to learn more, to expand my talents and my abilities.

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at 1-3 at masterclass.com slash dinners. That's right, now you can get two memberships for the price of one at masterclass.com slash dinners. That's masterclass.com slash dinners. Offer terms apply. When it comes to designing a healthy life and food plan, you need a long term solution. Well, noom is here to help. I certainly can understand the stresses of trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle with

food and exercise, especially as a parent of two now. And now I've got this podcast. NUME's personalized courses are easy to follow and will help you grow your confidence with tools that you can put into practice on day one. They'll give you the knowledge and the wisdom you need to make informed choices about what you eat. NUME is a science and personalization so that you can manage your weight for the long term. NUME's psychology-based approach helps you build better habits and behaviors that are

easier to maintain. The best part is you decide how NUME fits into your life, not the other way around. Based on a sample of 4,272 numbers, 98% say NUME helps change their habits and behaviors for good. Sign up for your trial today at NUME.com. That's N-O-O-M dot com to sign up for your trial today. Hi, I'm Joanna. I produce dinners on me. And let me tell you, I love me some royal drama. So I'm very excited for the new season of the Crown

and for the new season of the Crown, the official podcast, which will go behind the scenes of the sixth and final season of the acclaimed series. So get out your calendar because you're gonna want to write down the state, November 16th. That's when the first episode of the Crown, the official podcast drops. And of course, it helps if you watch the series

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Next we have actress Busy Phillips. You might know her from Girls 5 Ever or her own podcast. Busy Phillips is doing her best. She's been in Hollywood forever, well, as long as I have been, which is kind of a long time. She's come up on shows like Dawson's Creek and Freaks in Geeks. If you know Busy, or if you even just follow her on Instagram, you know how important being a mom is to her. Her kids are featured prominently on her feed. She has two children with her ex-Marc Silverstein, Birdie, who is 15 and Cricket, who is 10. In her conversation with me,

we talk about co-parenting with Mark, who she separated from in 2021, and how she navigates gender identity and social media with her kids. Okay, let's get to the conversation. Weat Chessie, I have to tell you, Bertie recently has become obsessed with modern family. Oh, really? This is the like, as we fight for a reason, you know?

Yeah, almost 15. Almost 15, okay. I'm actually shocked that Bertie went to modern fan. I have to be honest. Okay, yeah, yeah. Because Birdie's general vibe in television watching is like, like, heart stopper. Sure.

Young Royals. She's got great taste. Birdie's right now at a screening in Brooklyn of one of her favorite movies, my own private eye to home. Shut up. She's at a screening. This is what I'm saying.

I love that. I love that. Yeah, yeah. So, not that I just never expected Bernie to be like, oh my god, I started watching Modern Family. I'm obsessed. You have to watch it with me. I mean, at this point, it's like, you know, Bernie is an incredible person and an activist

and like stands up, you know, is really loud and outspoken and I don't know where she gets it from. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Bernie came home loud and outspoken and I don't know where she gets it from. Ha ha ha ha. But it came from school the other day. I was like, I found out why everyone hates me. And I was like, what? No, but not everybody hates you. And by the way, Bernie's being hyperbolic,

not everybody hates her. There's like a faction of kids and that she gets into it with over political views and stuff. These breeders wild. And she's like, it's because I'm, they said it's because I'm loud and I'm too opinionated and I really stand up

for what I believe in. And then I was, so all the things that a leader is. Yeah, like all the things that you should be, but these breeders not seen. Right. Well, you know, I think, you know, at least for me when I was at age,

like I just want to blend in. I'm so impressed with this that she doesn't want to blend in. She wants to be loud. She wants to be seen. She wants to be heard. She wants to be visible. You know, you talked about, you know, the discussion that you had with her about birdies and non-binary.

Well, birdies reevaluate. I'm in their position. Okay. I think birdies, like, birdies good with like, she, her,valuate. I'm okay. Okay. Their position Okay, I think birdies like Birdies good with like she her and they them isn't is definitely queer. Mm-hmm doesn't quite know if like at this point she is that is identifying as non-binds But wait, that's what we call it in our house non-binds but is like the child is and binds, but that's what we call it in our house, not binds. But it's like, the child is, like, Bernie's definitely, definitely queer.

I don't know, whatever, it's like, Bernie can be whatever. And like you said, I mean, like, we're always learning, we're always figuring out, we're always valuables, like, there's no need to like, anything in the sun at this point. But I do. But can I just say that?

Yeah, please. Because sometimes on my Instagram get a little prickly about if I use a she, her pronoun, and they're like, oh, now birdies they found, whatever. Or now she's now their, now birdies she, her. And it's like, guys, listen to me. It's not that fucking hard. All you have to do is listen to what your children tell you

and like support them wherever that is. Right. Unless it's that they're a neo-nazi or that they've been radicalized by Andru Tate and then you need to have deeper conversations. But like truly, I just, I think it boggles my mind because it's such a no-brainer to me that you just Listen and support your kids and meet them where they're at and if you don't understand it

That's fine, but you it's on you to do the research and figure it out and Move forward from there and in the best way you can so Like you don't put it on your kid, you are the parent, you're the adult, and you figure it out, and that's what we did. And you've had these conversations with Birdie, because you're obviously a very vocal person, you have a following, and I know you've had discussions

with her about like, how much do you want me to share? And what does visibility means to you? And like, is this you want me to share? And what does visibility means to you? And like is this okay? Is that okay? And she's guided you through all these decisions. Totally. Well, because first of all, when the pronouns specifically, I was having a really difficult time because I was doing my podcast.

And I talk about, the kids know that I talk about them on the podcast, but I wasn't talking about birdie having come out to us as non-binary. And because you were protecting that information. Because I was protecting that information for birdie's sake. But then I was just having like, it was hard for me because I kept saying, saying she felt wrong and just respectful, you know, because that wasn't what Birdie wanted and at that time. And so then we had a conversation about it. I talked to Mark first and then Birdie and I talked about it

and Birdie was like, oh my God, please talk about it. I was like, oh, really? And Birdie's like, yeah, I mean, it saves me from having to have the conversation. That's amazing. What is a relationship with social media beyond what you're having to have the conversation. That's amazing. What is a relationship with social media? Beyond what you're trying to say. It's been interesting.

Like, Bertie does not, I mean, Instagram forget it. Like, they don't care about it. It's, yes, old people, old people. It's old people. TikTok is more, I would say, Bertie doesn't have a public TikTok account, but we had a situation in fifth grade where Bernie had made and posted a TikTok

that was like, because she was upset with these girls. Bernie wasn't wrong. Like it was a bad situation, but it's also not okay to put something out there on social media that's the intent to hurt someone else's feelings, right? And so we had to, we obviously had to get involved and like have a real conversation about how you think

about what you share publicly. And you know, it's complicated. Like we all make mistakes too. Even obviously grownups make mistakes all the time in terms of social media and what they share. And I think that it was really hard for Birdie and she was really embarrassed, I think, because I think she also knows she's like a lot like Mark too. I'm really knows how smart she is.

And I think she just felt dumb like she messed up, you know, like something that was- She was disappointed in herself. She was disappointed in herself. But I will say, I was grateful that it happened and that we were aware of it, and we could help course correct it, because I think it's an important lesson to learn

for these kids who are going to live so much of their lives online. Yeah, yeah. That you don't have to share every time you're hurt broken if you don't want to. You don't have to like share every great thing that happens to you. You can keep some things for yourself, which I do. And I also just think the other way that Mark and I try to parent is by example.

And so I think that I try to lead by example with my kids. Right. It's so interesting that you go into that direction. Because I remember Justin coming home. He had run into you somewhere. And he goes, oh my god, busy in Mark are separating. I was like, I didn't hear about this. I'm like, I googled it, wasn't out there. Like, you kept that.

Oh my God. Private for a very long time. I feel like it was almost two years. Yeah, it was a really long time. And you said it's been a while, and it was completely something you did not share. And it was just for- We were both dating other people.

Like, wow. Like, fully. I think that we, in this culture, in this period in time, have gotten very, like, sort of hemmed in on ideas of, like, what things look like and what ideal situations look like, whether it's romantic or jobs or money or living arrangements or children or there are a million ways to live your life

and be happy and satisfied. And you don't need to restrict yourself to one, honestly, deeply patriarchal and sort of antiquated idea of what a relationship and like, co-parenting situation can look like. Right. I mean, Mark and I share a home. So. Yeah. Yeah. And co-parenting is a whole other thing you have to navigate. Yeah. I mean, I adore Mark. I know you adore Mark.

I do. I mean, it's like he's literally one of my best friends. Yeah. Yeah. So we're good. It gets complicated at times, but it's really OK. And almost, I don't know, I think I was very much informed by my Gen X upbringing, traditional ideas that were instilled in me before I even knew

how to decide. Sure, absolutely. That makes complete sense. Justin and I were just talking about how we're in a great place, but just how grateful we are that we're not in the dating pool right now. Oh yeah, it's weird. And it's different also for the dating pool right now. So yeah, it's weird. And it's different also for gay men. It's like, yeah, it's a whole thing.

I mean, it's very different. But also, I was in a relationship after my divorce, and that was somebody that I knew through work. We ended up reconnecting. You know, like, yeah, yeah. I have a- Some of you had history with. Some when I had history with. And same with people, Mark has dated, Mark's not on dating site, although I know, like, yeah, yeah. I have it. Some of you had history with. Some of you had history with.

Yeah. And same with like, people, Merck has dated, Merck's not on dating site. Although I really am like, you wouldn't fucking kill on Raya, dude. But he's, the people he's dated have all been like, people that he's kind of known before or, you know, whatever. So for friends of a friend, it's kind of odd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'm also realizing too

because I was really hurt broken after my divorce and then after dating that guy I was dating after my divorce like really really hurt broken and I just feel like I don't think I'm like in a place yeah I don't think I'm ready and my kids need a lot from me right now. Well, that's a whole world. Well, the thing you have to show to especially that age and you're bringing someone new in,

it's like, you know, when to do that and how it's going to maybe impact them and. Like, I never did it with the guy I was dating. Birdie totally knew about him, but like, they never met. Like, it was just not, it never, that never happened. Oh, what is that? Is that it? Mmm. I was gonna say, is that a churro?

I'm very excited. I'm very excited. I'm just, what's swimming underneath? Is that chocolate sauce? Yeah, that's a lot. Wow. Okay, this is very exciting, very exciting. Next up we have my friend Padma Lockshmi.

You know her from hosting Top Chef for 19 seasons for Hulu series Taste the Nation with Padma Lockshmi. Padma had her daughter, Krishna in 2010, who she lovingly caused little hands on Instagram. I love that. Padma recently asked me to send a video to celebrate Krishna's 13th birthday, and I just couldn't believe she was 13 years old. I just feel like yesterday that she was running around Padma's apartment with little bells on her ankles so that Padma could hear where she was when she was, you know, in the other room. In our interview, Padma shares how she tackles difficult topics with christina. And we hear her daughter's reaction to that internet breaking sports illustrated cover.

Okay, let's get to the conversation. But it's such a difficult time in this country to be a woman with reproductive rights being taken away. All just and I can do it because we talked about this, we're not the dads of a girl. All we can do is hope that we raise these two boys to be incredible feminists and to have the backs of their female friends and to just be good people.

What is it like, I mean, is Christian 13, I mean, is it complicated having these conversations? It's super complicated and this is the only child I've got. So she's a 13 year old kid, but I'm also a 13 year old parent in a way. So I haven't had to deal with any of this before. And because of what happened to me, both at seven, when I was sent back to India,

as well as what happens to me when I was 16 when I was rate, I sent Krishna off to preschool telling her that nobody should touch her and if she feels uncomfortable, you know, in language that a four-year-old can absorb. The top of it for four years. Very simple. I said, if anybody touches you, even if they're a teacher, you know, a friend of mommy's, a friend of daddy's, a cop, anybody like that, and you feel even if they're a teacher, you know, a friend of mommy's, a friend of daddy's,

a cop, anybody like that. And you feel uncomfortable unless they're getting you out of the way of a moving car or something. You know, if you feel it's not okay, then it's not okay. You just yell, no, just yell the word no, really loudly. And then you go and then you tell somebody you trust. And I said, mommy, we'll never get mad at you. Mommy will always believe you. You are the owner of your body.

And nobody is allowed to touch it unless you say okay. You know, other than mommy, daddy, you know, people you trust. But even if it's somebody who's close to us and you don't feel like it's okay, you have a right to say no, please don't touch me. And you know, in other generations, you and I grew up were like, oh, give your, you know, aunt Selma a hug or whatever it is.

And it's like, no, you don't have to. And also like always at your girlfriend to like, you know, little boys, like it's, you know, to hold, I think about all these things in a different way and having a parent. It's scary. It's really scary. I mean I at every stage try to get ahead of it with Christian. I remember you know we always go usually to Paris for spring break. Yeah. We're like going other places but I remember one time she said to me you you know, what does intersex mean? And I was like, what? And she goes, well, what do people actually do

when they have sex? Like, what is inter? And she was meaning intercourse. And so I had to figure out what the question she was asking me was first, because the thing that they tell you, and then of course that night, I was like, okay, when we have more time in the next couple of days,

we'll talk about it. And then that night after she went to sleep, I went online and went to psychology today and parenting, magazine and everything. And I think asked my therapist and stuff. And what they all say is just answer the question they're asking. You know, the first time they ask you a question,

you don't have to talk about the whole pantheon of Everything you know about sex and sexuality. It's too much right and they just don't want to know you know And yeah, and my instinct would be to do exactly that That let's do while we're here while we're discussing this. Let's just get it all out there That's so interesting. That's great advice actually.. Yeah, I mean, for a long time, you know, when we were in Paris and we talked about it, you know, we didn't have our flight till 4 p.m. We had breakfast, it was snowing.

So we just decided, I said, you know, we have five hours right now. So you can ask mommy anything you want. And you should have seen her face when I was like, okay, well, this is what intercourse is. You know, it's when the man's penis goes in and she was, and you should have seen her face. I mean, it was horrified. She was like, for her first question was, how? And then her second question was like, why?

Exactly. And she just could not fathom. Like she didn't even understand that there was a third aperture there, you know. Right. Right. And it was really funny. Do you wait, how old was she when you had this trip to Paris? Seeing she was probably eight or nine.

And I just wanted to get ahead of it. You know, she asked me. So, and at that time, she was writing the school bus. It was like the longest five hours of your life. Yeah, it was. I mean, I wanted her to be armed with the information. I told her, I said, listen, if you hear about anything, ask me about it.

Because I didn't want her to hear half the information or something that was wrong, that scared her or be, you know. And also just like taking the shame out of it, because I know for you, when you were sent away at age six, our seven was in fact, in real life. Seven. Yeah, for third grade, yeah.

There was that sense you talk about this in your book, about like, I've done something wrong. This is something I was shamed up. And then you talk about it again in your piece that you wrote in response to Cap and all, like, I'm coming forward now to talk about this, because I have been ashamed about it, because it was instilled in me in such an early age that these are not things

you talk about and that it is you know something that I've done wrong and I'm being punished for it. So I you know I think that that frankness with Prishnabat like you know that there's nothing to be ashamed of is just so important and I think it's the same for boys and girls, absolutely. We're absolutely right that all kids, all backgrounds need to hear these. You know, that time she wrote the New York public school bus. So the Department of Education in New York, no matter what school you go to, you can ride that bus, but only until sixth grade.

And I knew that she always sat in the back with older kids who were also in musical theater. And she knew that she always sat in the back with older kids who were also in musical theater and she liked to sing with them and stuff. But I knew that those girls were talking about stuff that she had no clue about. Oh sure. And so I just told her like I'm telling you because I don't want you to have the wrong information. And she really appreciated it. But don't tell anyone in your grade. You know, I said, because their parents may not think that their kids are ready for it, and then you go and say something,

and then you're not prepared to explain the whole thing, and they freak out, and I'm just telling you. That's so tricky. Yeah. I mean, I'm just, thank God, that gets, like not at that point yet. It's so tricky. Yeah, I mean, I wind up talking a lot.

Like I just wind up being a motor mouth out of nervousness with her. And she's like, okay, okay, I get it. That's it. You know, she'll stop me sometimes. That's really funny. Can I just ask what Krishna thought of the sports illustrated? She actually, she was having her friends over for dinner yesterday because see above, they love Indian food.

Yeah. Before she wouldn't even eat the alnash, just dishing it out to her friends but she asked me she said mom can I show the sports illustrated to my friends please and I just said no it doesn't matter you know because it's just on my phone right now yeah I said no I said they don't need to see that and she was mom fucking a Google it I mean they're probably gonna Google it but I don't need to be at my dinner table with my teenage daughter,

with everything that's going on in their universe, and two other little girls, and probably hears my sports illustrate. Right, right, right. You know what I mean? That just feels icky to me. I know she's proud of me, and I'm proud I could do it and look nice as I did,

but I just, I have to be really mindful of that, especially with her. You know, she's used to seeing her mom do fittings, try to squeeze my ass into those Emmy gowns every year, and she doesn't need that in her life. She really doesn't. I tried to make a big deal of the time 100 thing, and all she wanted to know is like, what was Michael B. Jordan? She's not here, she's not here. I was on the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm over the moon. I wish my grandfather was alive, because this is something he'd actually be impressed by. You know, all my cousins and aunties

and stuff are super impressed by Sports Illustrated. And the people who are the most excited, along with me, of course, about Sports Illustrated, are my gay male friends, and my older women friends, or my age women friends, I'm Like, yes, Goddamn it. Yeah. You know, and- The tracks.

And so that is wonderful, but I really wish my grandpa had been alive. He would have lost his shit, but I had time. Time went on. The time went on. You know, for me, it's happening now. It's happening so much later.

Like I feel like- It's happening at the right time. Blumer. But it's happening because act our time because you are, you are in the right place in your life to handle all of that. And specifically with Taste the Nation, you have so much world knowledge, you are a mother, you've reached this point of your career, you're in your life, you are in the right place to be talking and telling these stories.

I adore you. I adore you too. I love you. I love you too. the right place to be talking and telling these stories. I adore you. I adore you too. I love you too. Thanks for coming to Midtown. My pleasure. My pleasure. I think I need a passport to get back down. A little fortune-street.

Yay! [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ DINNER'S ON ME is a production of neon hum media, Sony Music Entertainment Entertainment and a kid name-becket productions. It's hosted by Yours Truly. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay.

Chloe Chobal is our associate producer, Sam Bear, engineered this episode. Hansdale Shee composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison, special thanks to Alexis Martinez and Justin McKeeda. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.