Distractible - Big or Small (Part 2)

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

The question stills needs answering, and the dudes are here to finally solve it...again: Big or Small? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Vitamin Water. Everyone knows that New York City has got to be one of the most stylish, diverse, and fun places in the world. And you can see all that character in Vitamin Water, which was born in New York because New Yorkers wanted more. It comes in a range of flavors that match the vibrancy of the city and brings the New York vibe wherever you are. Grab a Vitamin Water today. This episode is brought to you by Monopoly Go. I love you guys so much! of Vitamin Water today. playing Monopoly Go. I just want to point out that I have hit every single landmark on your board in the last few minutes and it feels really good because you had a lot of money sitting there. Thanks, man.

Anywhere and every time I can see you just taking all my money. Did you know Monopoly Go allows you to connect with friends or make new friends? Well, Mark, I want you to know I haven't made any new friends. I only play with you. It's your chance to be the number one tycoon and rub your victory in everyone's faces Make your move and download Monopoly go now free on the App Store and Google Play and don't play with marker I'll find you landmark Good evening gentle listener and welcome to distractable

this episode biblical Bob gets barastereal then beats the boys into choosing between Lilliputian and Lodge. Miftmark loves lava, has a ball-bashing buddy, and drowns in pet poo. Waggish Wade has a pro-saver, avoids penny farthings, and loves it loose, never tight. From delayed dog doctors to popping pills. Yes! It's time for Big or Small Part Two. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. All right, let's do a fun episode everybody. Keep it up. Keep it light. Bone! I like the directional jazz hands. I call those jizz hands. Hello everybody and welcome back to your favorite podcast.

Boy, I hope Wade's video from one second before I started this introduction is included in this episode. Nope. Nope. Yeah, welcome back. This is Distractable, the show where I'm the host because I won last week and my two friends who are here with me will be competing to win this week And then they host the next one and there's points and we write them down on things and the rules don't really matter

Because let's be honest most of us forget them halfway through each episode and just arbitrarily do whatever the hell we want I mean, it's not arbitrary though because that's against the rules, but I forget the rules exist. So maybe that doesn't anyway My name is Bob. I'm the host and my competitors for today as per usual Mark and Wade say hi Mark and Wayne. Hi, I'm Mark Hi, Mark and Wade. Oh, well, at least one of you could follow instructions. Yeah, Wade follow instructions nerd Ha loser. I can't hear very well cuz I'm bald right now you dweeb. Look at this. Wait, look at this Look at this. Look at this pull your car to the side of the road And look what I'm doing. I'm milk your thumb Milk it editors make both of them blow up make both of them explode and the bathtub from way back

The next part we usually do is small talk It's been like a week since we hung out and did this so some cool stuff must have happened right what's going on? So some cool stuff must have happened, right? What's going on? Uh... Chica's fine. Oh good, that's convincing. Be very careful with that word, that combination of words. My dogs are fine, not in well for me.

My dog is fine. Chica's fine. She's fine. Just say it at least five more times, it'll be way more convincing. God, this is an ugly face. That's a good one. That one's a special gift for the viewers, I guess. Well, I only care about them. We know that. We learned that.

Fault over for the thumb milking. They stay for the Wade face. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Listen, she's fine. She's had diarrhea for a few days in a row. And then this morning she puked and she puked undigested food from the night before. So I'm like, I looked that up and it's like possibly an obstruction or either way, food isn't passing through the stomach, which is a problem. So I had to take her to a vet. Going to an emergency vet is the biggest time sink you could possibly ever imagine. I called one place up first and they went through the whole process of taking all the information, like getting everything written down,

all like, name, you know, all the further records, and it took like 10 minutes to get through all of it, uh, cause he didn't understand what I was saying. And then at the end of that, he said, alright, the current wait time is about three hours, and that's from the moment that you walk in the door. And I'm like, that doesn't sound like an emergency! That doesn't sound anything like that! So I go to this other place, I call ahead, and they're like, yeah, we're open, you know, not busy right now, but the doctor doesn't come in for another hour. And I was like, perfect, I'll

go there, get there early, I'll be first in line. And I was, but then I waited an hour even after the doctor arrived there. And then I was in the waiting room for like a long time and then the doctor rolls in. I didn't see, he came in through the back door in secret entrance apparently. but I go in the subdivided room and then I'm waiting there with Chica for another hour and then they finally come in and there's like okay and then they take her and I'm waiting in the waiting room again for another two hours and meanwhile I'm just like Chica's just back there can't can't you come out it can't be like constant testing and then you know finally they they call me into the room again.

They're like, oh, we got the results in. I go into the room where she's not there. Sit there for another 30 minutes in the room before someone finally comes out and says, yeah, here's here. We didn't find anything. All the blood work is comprehensive. And I'm glad that they did all that. And she's fine.

They they sent off a stool sample for the lab. That's all fine. I brought in that stool sample myself. I she's fine. They, they sent off a stool sample for the lab. That's all fine. I brought in that stool sample myself. I was thinking ahead. Good boy. And then they were like, all right, we're just going to give her this medication. Here's the charges. We're going to get this and we'll be right out the door.

I was not right out the door. It was another 45 fucking minutes. I almost fell asleep in the waiting room. Literally by then it was jam packed. But it was like I go in the small room where she wasn't. And then I'm told to leave the small room where she wasn't. I was like, couldn't you have come out to the waiting room. Literally by then it was jam-packed but it was like I go in the small room where she wasn't and then I'm told to leave the small room where she wasn't. I was like couldn't you have come out to the waiting room? Whatever. So I sit there and I almost fall asleep and finally I pay them a lot of money and then I wait a little longer and then there's Chica. Boys you told us because Bob and I have been sitting here in a call for eight and a half hours

waiting for you. I appreciate that, yeah, I appreciate that. I thought of this and now I'm too ashamed to say it sincerely but I still would like everyone to hear it. They made you come into the back room to give you the information privately because there's the Puppa laws. I give myself minus one point for Puppa. We're not going any up from here. It's all down. That's the peak. It's funny you mentioned that because I've got some small talk news that's bigger than me. Like 6'5"?

July 25th, Carly Casella wrote a nice article in Health called, Surprise Hair Loss Breakthroughs. Sugar gel triggers robust regrowth. Oh, apparently there was some kind of study going on where they were doing something with mice which is pretty typical. And they put this sugar gel on mice. I don't even think it was supposed to be for hair loss. It was supposed to be for something else. But they noticed that when they used the sugar gel on the mice, they were like, their fur

started growing back better and thicker than previous things had. And they were like, huh. Wait, is it mice with like a little bald patch on the top of their head? How are these mice bald? I don't know what they had done, but I think they... Whatever they were doing to the mice before, they didn't expect the fur to grow back, I think. What were they doing that needed sugar gel? Is this just sugar in gel form? You say sugar gel. Yeah, what is this? Gummy bears? Or what is this?

Deoxyribose gel oh Then DNA don't sound like sugar But researchers have found it worked just as well as my noxidil which is a topical treatment for hair loss Commonly known by the brand name Rogaine wait, so it's not better Dude I read the article five days ago How's that a breakthrough if it's not better than the current treatment? Same but different is still a breakthrough, Mark. Okay, come on. I think that they found that this was working, and now they're gonna like,

it was by complete accident, that wasn't what that was intended to do, and now they're like, huh, that's crazy, we should investigate this further. I think we're at that step where we don't quite know yet. We gotta experiment, we just gotta put random things on your head. Let's start with tapioca. We'll move to elk's blood. And then we'll try lava for like a quick second just to see, you know, it might work.

Dude, imagine if lava works. We won't know until science. Nice icy hot lava and then absolute zero ice. Yes. You have some? Doesn't everyone? Absolute zero calories in my absolute zero ice. I, it sounds like you should get some sugar gel.

Are you gonna, are you saying you're gonna try this or? I mean, I'm gonna wait till they do a little bit more research on it, but. The thing about this is, unless it's some more than it sounds like it is, it doesn't sound like it can hurt you. What's sugar, what's sugar gel gonna do that's bad? Make you sticky?

Yeah, exactly. Was it gonna give your head diabetes? Probably not. Diabetes is in the feet, we all know. I got skin-o-betus. It's just diabetes of my head skin from all the sugar gel. Well, anyway, Wade, that's a great breakthrough. Hey, it's very important. You could do what almost every influencer who's balding does and fly to Turkey.

Apparently that's the thing. And there's a horrific picture of like a tryptophobia picture of a plane full of people who just had it. Oh no. I don't know if you've ever seen pictures of who just got like the hair transplant surgery. It's horrifying to look at. And then it's a picture in a plane from seeing all these heads from behind and they're just it's just everyone has just is this the follicle replacement or like the strip? It's the follicle implants isn't it? You know what it reminds

me of? There's that one doll head in Sid's room in Toy Story where it has the hair like that. It always reminds me of that. Yeah, no, I get it. I definitely get that. I might be starting to fit out of the front here a little bit and so I don't know what's gonna happen. Baldness does kind of run in some of my family. Me too. I don't know. I don't think I can do shaved head. I don't know exactly what route to take. I might just have to wear hats 24-7. I'm not entirely sure I guess I should start putting sugar in my hair and not in my mouth. That'll treat both my diseases You just gotta go to Turkey. I don't know what happens at the Turkey International Airport

But you step off that plane ten men jump out with dark cloaks and razors You'll be it's not at a hospital. It's just you go It's like one of those ten minute hotel nap hotels at the airport, but it's a hair transplant. I have a hair person who shaves my head, who swears by going to Turkey for different things. Is this serious? Yeah, yeah, actually. What is the benefit of having her shave your head?

I have really thick hair in the back. And there are times where I just flat out don't have time to do it, because it actually takes a very long time to get my head as smooth as I'd like to get it So days like before I'm about to travel because we're doing like a family photo in Minnesota It's like didn't have a lot of time today So rather than me spending two hours and like then Molly be like, hmm, you left the spot you left the spot But damn it. I just go there and have them do it because it's quick. He's got a bald guru. She also apparently is just like has all kinds of relations. Listen, I could talk about that lady for a while. She's so fast. She's the most fascinating person I've met.

Is she from Turkey? Why? How does she have so many Turkey connections? No, I think she's from Russia actually. That's closer to Turkey than we are probably, but... Yeah, she's got a love web and she loves to go into like what's going on in her love life when we talk and it's always so fascinating but that's neither here nor there but she's big on like telling people to go to Turkey because when Ry came in and she thought I was ten years older than I am she was like have you thought about going to Turkey and having them do something? You don't look so old. That's the thing yeah. I could. She's very blunt

very blunt but I found something in the article about the mice They were studying how sugars heal the wounds of mice when applied topically Oh So the mice had like lesions or wounds that like no longer had hair growing on them and they put this on there to help Heal the wounds and they were surprised whenever it was also growing fur back No, yeah sugar is good for wounds because it's hydroscopic sugar sugar really sucks the juice, you know So they haven't actually as of the time of me reading this article This doesn't mention them doing any human studies on it, but they were done it with mice

They're like, wow, that's actually pretty effective Molly sent me that I was reading I was like this kind of fascinating Molly's sending not very subtle hints. Hey, look at this new treatment breakthrough for baldness every now and and then, I wonder, I'm like, do you really like be bald? Yeah, yeah, it's great. I'm like falling asleep. She likes to browse right when she goes to sleep. It's like, what are you browsing over there? You wake up and she's standing over you with a big vat of sugar gel. No, sorry, sorry. Are you hungry?

Cereal. Anyway, that's all I got. Maybe that's why your house smelled like maple syrup You've got a bunch of sugar gel for you. Have you looked at the names on this research article? Have you looked closely at these names? No, I don't know mark. What's it say? I was implying I was implying that your wife was named on the I was trying to imply that she was one of the researchers Because the maple syrup cat piss event was way back before this research occurred. I'm so smart.

That was too clever, Mark. Too clever point for you. You know, Carly ends in a Y and so does Molly. Coincidence? Oh my god. Editors, play the X go way too long. Just keep playing. Keep it going.

Keep... For some reason, we're getting copyrighted. Man, top tier small talk this week, guys. You both accrued several points over the course of that. Anything else before we move on? Or everyone happy? Nah, I'm good. I don't think so.

Oh, okay. Guys, I have a reprieve for you. I've been doing a lot of episodes lately where I'm asking you questions that have objectively correct answers. It's been fun, but I want to give you a nice, kind of an easier one. So this week, we're going to have some discussions that have subjectively correct answers. And we don't have to agree, but if you pick the wrong answer, it's going to be hard to earn points. Okay, so there's no right answer, but if you pick the wrong answer, it's gonna be hard to earn points Okay, so there's no right answer, but if we pick the wrong answer, we don't get points. No, there is a right answer

It just is subjective, but there's one right answer to each question anyway, but there's no wrong answers Ah, they're definitely wrong answers. We've done this before it's bigger small, too Yeah, what was that you don't remember that No, I remember the teeth big or small teeth. We had quite the discussion right now. I remember. Yes. Yes. So, so this is we're going to debate. I have a list of things we're going to debate whether it would be better to have big or small and it's all very relative and there is a correct answer for each one, but it's completely subjective and we'll figure out what it is.

Will we be able to ask qualifying questions about like how big? Oh no, yeah, we're gonna define the scenarios. So I've got like the softest of softballs to start with. Dog. Big. And I'm not talking like Chica versus like weights or my dogs.

I'm talking like Clifford the big red dog size of a house or like a dog that you could ride in your breast pocket like what could be Tinkerbell's dog. I'm gonna jump right in front of this. If it's Clifford big, you gotta go small because Chica at her current size punches me in the balls. I do not wanna take a full sprint ram into my crotch. I will be torn in half. The clothes I'm wearing will be found in the next county

and then my testicles, they'll just obliterate on impact. I'll be dead but you know it's bad. Let me backpack with that. Mark you were talking about Chica a little bit ago being sick and when sick puppies have vomiting or diarrhea. They make quite the mess Clifford the big red dog having a tummy ache The neighbors house is getting a new paint job You know if you don't let her out in time she gotta go like you just They were saying I don't remember us having a pond. And you're like, we didn't.

You're like in your office down the hall, like working your decide your computer. And in the distance, you just hear like a rumbling, like a whooshing rumbling. Like, oh no, in the house, no. Guys, like a flood. I was originally thinking to myself, I was like, we've already got small animals.

You can have like a pet gerbil or mouse. Like, you don't want a dog that small. A big dog would be so much fun, but then feeding it. Part of me wants the big dog so bad. I always thought, I love those books. I love Clifford the Big Red Dog. Part of me is like, I would take big. I want the biggest dog.

And imagine Clifford is a puppy, like whenever you're a little bit aggressive and you're trying to play and it like accidentally nips you, you lost your arm. The rest of me, which is 98% of me is like, oh, small. How small? Like this small in the palm of your hand small? Like dangerously small.

You know, it doesn't have to be a specific size measurement, but like small enough where it's like, if you're cuddling in bed, be careful. So like a mouse size or smaller? Like a little hamster. Oh man. Well actually, no, you can take care of a hamster. I guess in comparison,

you just wouldn't treat it the same way as a dog, right? Oh, a little dog in a hamster ball. Oh. You could have a little dog backpack thing with like, it could climb up. Oh. You could, you know, hamster paths where it like goes around your whole house.

You have like doggy paths. Definitely small. I go small. All right. Well, I told you that was an easy one. And small is the correct answer. So good work, everybody. Good, good, good, good. Immediately we went with the mark with the balls. And I just immediately thought of all the shit that the initial response for me, too, was definitely big.

But what you think about that big furry dinosaur? We're going to keep it easy. But I'm interested in this one. Bicycle. It's a bike that you need. I don't know if you need to ride it to work, but it's a thing that you like doing it, something you do regularly.

The smallest bike that you can physically ride. So it does not like so small that you can't ride it. It is a bike and you can ride it. Or the biggest bike you could physically wrangle into technically riding it around which of those is preferable? Ego says man I want the big one put me on that big bike but I still think small because if it's going to be that awkward to handle either big or small if it's small at least you're not falling as far it's big and you crash that fucker you're falling a distance

that's a concern having been through a few bike wre yeah, I don't want to be any higher up off the ground when I go flying. Is this like a lifted truck situation with you've got monster truck wheels and you like at certain point, you start have to start having bike nuts and then probably a Trump flag. Like let's be honest.

Okay, let's bike nuts. Like the little testicles I think from the back. Yeah, like truck nuts, but bike nuts. Is it like the little paper that you put on your wheel? But it's the balls that are flapping up and down as they hit the smack It's one nut on each side of your back spokes and they're just like flapping violently as they wang around Oh, man, you know, that's as tempting as that sounds but yeah, Wade brings up a good point I mean you could have really wide wheels.

I guess my thing for this to limit the bigness would be you can't have to have like a special building to get onto the bike. I would say it would be more a matter of like it being very long and tall but like not so tall you couldn't climb up on it. Maybe with like a step stool or something but like this isn't like you need a two-story building where you hop off the roof of the building onto the top of the bike situation it's more just like a big like the biggest bike that a person could reasonably ride if i'm coming up over there's an overpass right it's it's should i be worried about that overpass it's like 10 foot seven and i'm staring at it at eye level. Is that how big?

It's gonna be like roller coasters. Where you know when you're on a roller coaster and you're going under and you're always kind of like, but actually there's like a lot of space. It's like that, that level. There are too many trees that don't get trimmed at least in Cincinnati, the right level. No, that's true.

Where branches hit your car, your truck. If you're on a bike and you're getting whacked with fucking tree branches and power lines On my normal size e-bike there's already a lot of trees in the face action on some of the that's true just walking as six foot or taller you get hit in the face with fucking trees much less on Your big bike. I guess I just can't relate to this experience, but I defer to your wisdom Well branches don't grow below six feet. They know Do it you guys have roots you gotta climb All right fine, I'll take my tiny bicycle this is like the bike that clowns will yeah

This is like you get out of it like squeaks and you're like It has to squeak it absolutely has to squeaks because you're like, ee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee. It has to squeak. It absolutely has to. Squeaks because it's tiny, tiny things squeak. This is a fact. I'm not a fan of this bike, but like I hate the thought of big bikes. It's like big dog, too much negative.

All right, well, that's the correct answer. We're all in a lot of agreement. I was thinking there'd be more, you don't have to disagree. I just assumed that there would be. We are three strapping lads in our prime. We know what's right. I think this next one might divide us a little bit. Pants, big or small?

And we're not talking on the big end, we're not talking like Jinko jeans. We're talking like belong on a different species of two-legged animal, like so big that it's like kind of an issue. You can walk around, but you have to like lift it up like a hoop skirt. Is it like long legs that are like dragging

under your shoes and stuff too? Yeah, not like outrageously long, definitely way too long and I'll just a lot of material. And on the small side, definitely thinking like, you have to exist and they have to cover you, but like just the tightest, smallest, like skinniest skinny jeans that a person could wear. One testicle on each side. Is this what we're talking about here?

There's no longer a mystery as to what you're packing in these jeans. Everyone can see everything because they are that small and tight. Your feet are purple from the lack of blood flow. Okay, well, I think big has to be the one because if you go to the Met Gala, you'll look really chic with your train of gene leg trailing behind you and your team of- What a relatable experience. Oh, I'm sorry.

Have you never seen the Met Gala? You don't have to experience something to relate it. I've never been there When I'm at Burlington Co. Factory picking out my cargo shorts. The second thought I have, once I checked the size on the shorts themselves is, now how would these make me look at the Met Gala? Cause you don't want to leave that out of the equation when you're talking dress in yourself. The big is definitely stylish.

Like the big, there's a lot of big in fashion right now. And that's, that's. I gotta go big too. I feel like girls pants already, they're already living the super small tight life and just look so uncomfortable. I don't need a jean in my asshole Crotch space man. Listen, I live my life in basketball shorts. I'm wearing them right now. I don't want anything Uncomfortable or tight. I like loose fitting What if it's so big though that it's like out to here and you have suspenders holding it out like that

We got belts suspenders you fold it around make it like a nice little like wrap thing and there's scissors to make it shorter Look for people like you who are tall You don't have a lot of people looking down on you But for me people would be looking at either eye level or below and if they look down, oh, there's your dick I think there's a same problem as the two small pants. I feel like that does run into the, you do need to be fully clothed in the garment. So it has to be like outrageously big but it does have to like cover your bits. Okay, okay, okay, gotcha.

When we were in high school, the baggy clothes were in, right? So like every dude was walking around with a hand holding his pants up while he walked around. That was the style. I'm imagining that, but maybe a little bit wider and long. And I used to be a pretty scrawny dude. Like even when I was like over six foot, six foot two, six foot three, I was very, very skinny. And finding any kind of like swim trunks or pants or shorts that fit me right, if they were the right length to be baggy, then they were wide enough for two weights to be in there.

And it's just like your belt, you're fucking like rolling up those pants in the weirdest way to get the belt to make the waist fit. Dude, I don't know what hat, what people think long pant wearers are in need of, but I am not a skinny guy. I have been like a big fat guy my whole life. I'm not gonna sugar coat it.

I'm fat, I am, I wear a big belt. I have a large number is my waist size. Pants that are the right length for me as a tall person are still too big in the waist, which seems fucked up. I don't wear a small way. I have big, I'm tall and big. There are stores for us specifically, but they make any pants that are like 32 inches long or more. The waist is like 64 inches. It's like some people wear that size, but I have, I'm not, I don't know, man. I'm glad that things that fit are more in a little bit now than they were when we were growing up. Cause like swimming trunks were so hard to find. If they were going to cover my knees, it's like, well, my ass is coming out in these, and none of them ever have it,

where you can actually tighten the waist. Swimming trunks especially have always been the biggest nightmare for me to find. And I'm heavier now than I used to be, so things fit a little bit better in the way that they're designed. But like- I have to say, I'm a little surprised

we're agreeing on big here. I think I would pick small if I could make a couple assumptions about it. If it's stretchy material, it would still be tight, but if it's stretchy- You said jeans still be tight, but if it's stretchy... You said jeans, which are stretchy jeans. There are stretchy jeans. And if I can be promised and guaranteed that I'm not going to like rip the crotch out, I think I would go small. I know I'd rip the crotch out.

As a person who has a lot of, had a lot of pants in my life where like it didn't fit right and I was constantly having to like pull up the waist because I because I the sizing's messed up. I wouldn't feel good about how I would look and it would probably come with some discomfort that I'm underestimating potentially. I would rather have small and just like have pants that stayed on me that I didn't have to fucking carry around with me like a backpack. I get that but man sitting in tight pants is so uncomfortable. I don't know I don't like tight. It's so uncomfortable. I don't know. I don't like tight I'm on fire. I'm on fire This episode is brought to you by monopoly go I love you guys so much I love you, and I love playing monopoly go with the two of you is the best I

go with the two of you is the best. I love you even more than you think you love us and I enjoy our time spent playing Monopoly go. I just want to point out that I have hit every single landmark on your board in the last few minutes and it feels really good because you had a lot of money sitting in there. Thanks man. Anywhere and every time I can see you just taking all my money. Did you know Monopoly go allows you to connect with friends or make new friends? But mark I want you to know I haven't made any new friends. I only play with you It's your chance to be the number one tycoon and rub your victory in everyone's faces make your move and download Monopoly Go now free on the App Store and Google Play and don't play with Mark or I'll find you landmark All right next one and this is gonna apply to you Wade so maybe this will help you on your upcoming family trip. Suitcase, big or small?

There is definitely a right answer to this one. Hey that's why I'm gonna let that slide because I thought you guys actually convinced me a lot and sort of swayed me from there's a correct answer to this one. Suitcase, big or small? Are we allowed to talk about it before we just say? Yeah, we can talk it through. Is it big, even the small one, is it big enough to actually hold the stuff you need to bring? It holds enough things that you will survive your trip, but it definitely does not hold even 80%

of the pile of every single thing you might wanna bring with you on this trip. But it holds enough words like, you're not gonna not have a toothbrush, you're not gonna not have any clean clothes with you on this trip. But it holds enough where it's like, you're not gonna not have a toothbrush, you're not gonna not have any clean clothes with you, but you're gonna have a very Spartan experience on this journey. Okay, and big is like so big that what?

Like you have to check it and even then it's a pain? Big, big is when the luggage guy, you know when you get your bag in there and they put it on the train? Your suitcase is another train car in the chain of suitcase cars. It actually has a flatbed that it sits on because it doesn't fit into the shelf like the rest of them do. They have to tie it to the wing with some nylon and straps. When you get to the front of the line and the person who checks your bag in,

they look at your bag and they go, and they start reaching to get something out and they got like special tags and things. They got chalk, they got a, It's a whole experience to get that bag checked in. That's how big it is. Small, it's gotta be small. You can have, okay, you can, checking a bag usually costs extra,

but you can usually have at least a carry-on and a personal item. And for me, me backpack really small suitcase I'll get by if Molly and I are sharing a bag dear God We need big but I'm gonna assume this is for me and that's her problem Give me small not only whenever I go to the Met Gala when you're flying to the Met Gala. Yes With my diamond Medallion status I get free checked bags

Baby, make them as big as they make them. It's not my problem. I pay for that problem to go away Sorry, you don't have this luxurious experience that I do it don't matter how big it is How are you gonna get there man if it doesn't fit in your trunk my trunk You think I'm bringing my own bag to the airport with me I'm carrying it I'm going to the Met Gala. How dare I think about the normal person you're right Excuse you. Excuse me. I'm excuse me. Excuse me you big. I'm glad you picked big mark because it's subjectively incorrect All right. I mean subjectively but also objectively

I think we all know that that's true. And that's bonus points to Wade. Too small is annoying, but like, especially flying out of Cincinnati, man, even if you were in first class, the little luggage things are so tiny. You have to check your bag. Yeah.

And I don't know if you guys flew recently during the cyber truck strike. That's not what it was called. Crowd strike. Man, oh man, CVG, the bag graveyard that it was. I learned a new appreciation for, even if you can check a bag, maybe you shouldn't sometimes,

especially if you have a layover. So going small and not have to worry about that shit again, that seems good, because my God, was that something to witness. Coward. Yep. Damn, you know what I what? Don't tell me. I actually also exclusively fly first class because I am also Diamond Medallion Plus member.

Jesus, you asshole. So I would go personally, I would go big, but I think we all know the correct answer is small. So wait. Oh, well, if two out of the three people that matter in the world say that it's big, wouldn't that wouldn't that subjectively make it the right answer? That would probably objectively make it the right answer, but subjectivity applied liberally to the situation. I just want to point out that he said I matter. He implied that you matter.

There might be a third other person who's not here right now who's actually in that list. Don't count your chickens before they're in first class. Editors reveal the webcam of the mysterious fourth member of the podcast. Anyway. Anyway, good effort everybody. All right, this one I'm going to need to explain a little bit, but I- Small final answer. You might be right. Medicine, pills, medicine. Oh! It's a thing of, if it's small, it's like you have to take a hundred of them. In small pills, they're tiny, you swallow a handful at a time,

but to get the full amount of medicine you have to take, you take like, just an unreasonable amount, like at least a few dozen pills. Some amount that's like a lot of pills to take, but they're very small. Can you butt chug them? Well, that's like a lot of pills to take but they're very small. Can you butt chug them? Well that's not a right now question. Yeah you can always butt chug, always. You don't have to ask us for permission. Big in this case would be obviously you can take it orally like in the same way that you take the little ones but it's about the biggest thing that you could physically get down your hole. It's not like you have to force it down. You do like put it in your mouth, drink some water, swallow it like a pill.

But it's like, you look at it and you're like, ah, ooh. Tick tock update from a while ago. Did you guys ever follow the journey of, I think his name was Bevo? Yes. You lost me a tick tock update. I've talked about him on this show before.

Yeah, yeah. So his story ended with him in the hospital, I think. With the ruptured esophagus? So wait, this is what, I'm gonna gesticulate what he did. Look at me, look at me, wait. Look at me. Oh, right, you know what it is.

You know the rules. Big ups, Jesus Christ. Big ups, beans. Mm-hmm. I said something right before, but then it's like a, imagine a whole baked potato, right? So his stick to explain it to you wait since you clearly don't know his whole stick is he Says a bunch of

shit and then he always goes you know the rules and the rules are apparently you have to take as much into your mouth as physically possible and so he's always eating something and whatever it is he always goes big ups whatever you know the rules oh that's delicious and swallows it whole it sounds like a ruptured esophagus or a blockage. It sounds like he's about to choke to death and there are a couple specific videos where he gets like a huge bite and he's all But he survives. Well yeah, you always survive until you don't. Yeah, I don't think he does it anymore.

But he lived. He's still alive. As far as we know. That's like the girl who bottled farts that ended up in the hospital because she was doing so much like unhealthy food stuff in order to make more gas. What the fuck? No, that's true. That's true. She was selling gamer girl farts in a jar and she was eating a large amount of unhealthy. I think it was maybe a lot of beans or cheeseburgers or something so she could fart more.

Where? Yeah, but it was like messing up her body. Do you say where? You can't get it. No, you can't get it anymore, Mark. It's not available. It's not Where can I buy it the farts all done been smelt? So you're saying the farts are floating out there in the atmosphere, so you're probably smelling one right now

It's in there all I got to smell is I got cam for I've been putting it on my hands They get sore hands from editing mark. You already gave your final answer Do you want to elaborate on it? Are you I mean it's clear here the reason I brought up bevo was evidence to the small is because if it's big It's a terrible experience small you like mini M&Ms mini M&Ms are the superior M&M form we all know this Dogging you came out mark you got happened to me there. I don't know what I was doing there. Your dog, dog in you came out, Mark. You got that dog in there. Yeah, sorry about that.

Dude, Eminem minis and like the little plastic container, that was so good. No, minis are definitely in the triumvirate of the top tier, but I don't know if they claim the absolute top spot or not for me. That's a tough call. What about mini Eminem peanuts? What would they do, break a peanut?

Oh. How would they, yeah, they'd have to break it mini M&M peanuts? What would they do, break a peanut? Oh, how would they? Yeah, they'd have to break it up into pieces, but. It would be like crushed peanut bits, but then made into peanut M&Ms. Okay, this is something Ethan could never, ever hope to imagine. I'm laughing at him. You know the peanut nipple?

You know the peanut nipple, right? On a peanut, there's a little, little nipple there. It's just that. So it's just that coated in chocolate, because you can kind of break that piece off There and it would be consistent enough. It'd be like a sunflower seed chocolate covered sunflower seeds I've had before and they're very good. You could use the rest of that peanut in a regular peanut M&M You just have nip ones and regular ones. I gotta go small too, man I'd love to disagree and give you more ammo Bob, but the small pills

I would rather take a bunch of little pills than one big one. I don't want it... After the uvula in my throat, I don't want anything else big in my throat, man. Yeah, you guys are really going all in on the same answer here, and I gotta say, as a person who takes a surprising amount of pills, I looked at it recently, and I take, I think, eight pills a day, because I take a vitamin, and I take a supplement, and I take another vitamin B that we talked about previously. I'm still doing that, see if that helps at all. And the vitamin C pill that I take is spicy because it's it's acidic, you know, and when you put the pills in your mouth and that hits your tongue at 7 in the morning, you're kind of like, oh, that's a lot.

I would rather just have one. I understand that it would be difficult. But as a person whose daily routine includes an annoying amount of pills, some of which are real tiny, like four or five of the ones I take are like smaller than a normal aspirin. They're like almost nothing. It's just annoying. You drop them, you got to organize them. You got to, I have a little pill because it's such a pain in the ass to have that many bottles where you're like one of these, two of this one, God don't't drop any pills. The dog's gonna eat them.

I'd rather just have one. Did I freeze or are you guys? We're just, we're judging you so hard, you stupid. You're both wrong, idiots. You just get like a little spoonful of yogurt or mashed potato or something. You put the pills in there and just swallow. That's actually not a bad idea.

I'm imagining a pill this large. That's what I'm imagining You have to be able to physically swallow it. There's a limit according to bevo you could I don't think I could swallow that and I Don't mean like you could physically jam it down your throat It had to be a thing where it wouldn't cause you physical harm to swallow it on a daily basis All right, like this like this big are we talking like a battery size? I've seen videos of guys and girls swallowing than that that's on the upper end of what I was imagining but yes somewhere in that ballpark I would happily shock on one of

those bad boys a day as opposed to dropping pills everywhere and fucking if I swallow this right now and die will you give me the point that? That's worth at least two points, I guess, yeah. Everyone pull over to the side of the road, you gotta watch this one. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh comes back to life, he loses the two points just to be clear Okay. Anyway, interesting discussion. I think hey, what's up guys back from the afterlife here want to finish this episode out strong I'm gonna cross out dead and take those two points away real quick. Can I get one point? I'm a ghost man All right, I'll give you one ghost point. Okay, cool. You hear my echoey voice and everything Editors don't do any of this just make him live with what he's done.

No, please. I sign your checks. That's not even true. None of us sign shit. You're right, but I can call the person who does. I know them too. I have their number too. I'll call them and tell them not to listen to Mark.

You don't even worry about it. All right, fine. Well, I'll definitely agree and be correct on this next one. Insects. And think about it, because the initial knee-jerk response seems obvious, because we're talking like insects the size of a horse or a car, outrageously big, right? This is the point.

This is unrealistically big, insects. Or the small, it's not a decrease in overall total mass. They're just small individual. There's a lot of them. It swarms. The small would mean any kind of insect is just an unbelievable swarm of things that you basically breathe in.

But a horse mosquito taking a bite would just instantly kill us. Well, but you could fight, you know, everyone could have like their mosquito shotgun. Like you could fight, it's, but you could fight, you know, everyone could have like their, their mosquito shotgun. Like you could fight, it's big enough. You could fight it off. This is literally starship troopers. This is the plot of it.

The bugs. Oh, that's true. That's true actually. And they were so big that guys with really advanced machine guns were still dying left and right. I don't want to be hit by the bug shooting plasma acid out of its forehead. Let's set a limit. Let's set a limit. Let's set a realistic limit.

It is big, but let's say that there's no bug that's so big that it poses a threat of death to you on a regular basis. There are bugs right now that threaten us. Maybe there are bugs that are the size of small chihuahuas. And if it flew up to you, you could just be like, get away. Aren't there already those in Australia right now? Probably I don't know what the hell goes on down there They all kinds of crazy shit in Australia

Are there mosquitoes like in the Amazon or Australia that are already like the size of a Chihuahua? They got farms covered in spiders because spiders fly on the wind because they're made of nightmares and gasoline I don't even know like Australia doesn't count in this because we're talking about the real world, okay? I don't know what happens down there. How dare you bring up Australia to my face. Well, see with the small, you kind of already have that with gnats. Like gnats are terrible. They're awful.

But they can't sting you or anything and they're still gross. But you said like that in your mouth you breathe them in. But like mosquitoes, like you could get a thousand mosquito bites if you accidentally wander through a swarm of miniature micro mosquitoes. They would be micro mosquito bites, but like they still, you know, like there's some way that that works out probably in this world.

God, imagine going outside, like your dog needs to pot and you look out and there's just like several mosquitoes like. On the glass slider door and there's just like several mosquitoes like on the on the glass slider door there's a mosquito the size of a tennis racket just looking at you like proboscis makes like a do they get to talk anthropomorphically in this world that we're building i'm sure yes absolutely i i think it's way worse if the mosquito looks at you and goes, hey, come out of here. It's a literal vampire asking for permission. Doon doon. Hey lemme in.

I hate the world of big, but in this I've got to go big because like the thought of the swarm of tiny mosquitoes covering you outside. That already exists. It already exists. But gnats don't bite you. Gnats don't hurt you. They're just-

No, but I mean a a swarm of mosquitoes would, it still occurs. Like that also is. I get it, but like if they're so small, like you could barely see them to even get them off of you. Like I don't want to open that door and have a mosquito filling the door frame, staring at me. I don't either, man.

But at least the enemy you can see rather than the enemy you can't. My boar spear, its nose would through the door like the borespear it would get me imagine like that little drain like that hot air goes out from like your dryer and stuff outside imagine just a swarm of tiny things just going in there you're laying in your room and just this cloud of darkness emerges like what is happening and they just fucking cover you. No, everything would need like HEPA filters.

Like you would need, mosquito nets wouldn't even work. You need like mosquito plastic balls. I don't know about your guys' leaky ass houses with your bug size holes. I got filtration in central air. It's not good enough. You need a hazmat suit. If you're gonna have sex, you get a hazmat suit for two

cause you can't leave it ever. I don't have sex outside like a neanderthal. You can't have it inside. The bugs are everywhere, dude. Why? Okay, so we're just dead. Is that what it is? We're just dead.

Dead from big, dead from small. Is that what the thing is? We're dead. But big, you can at least fight back. You see them when's the last time you fought a horse i thought you said smaller than a horse but never okay i did i did back off from that and say smaller than a horse how much smaller we looking at elk in the range of like a small dog size like an eight to ten pound dog size small dog oh well if

it's that i'm sorry how many hundreds of times larger is that than a normal insect size? A mosquito the size of a Chihuahua, it's proboscis would be through my neck. It wouldn't be able to get my blood because it'd be able to kill me. It wouldn't be able to get blood because it would go right through. Yeah, it'd be fine. No! How many through? You'd never get Zika virus because the virus would go right out the other side and it would never touch you And I'd be dead before it would even matter. That's not you'd be fine. It's not a stinger It's like a it's like a slender little hypodermic needle You ever seen a stiletto a knife not the heel now

I feel like these things would not get sussed and it's very easily they go extinct quickly the small ones though I appreciate your commitment to the world building Wayne and I don't like the picture you're painting. I'm with you I was painting a pretty good picture of the doorway mosquito. There's a big mosquito in the doorway. I've got a baseball bat There's a swarm. It's like what am I gonna do hairspray and a lighter? What happens when the lighter runs out? Ooh, flamethrower actually that actually that would be an incredibly useful and effective strategy. Yeah Yeah, well also inside your house like if you're just like Everywhere you go. Sure, you're gonna burn something down you're burning your house down. Subjectively speaking Wade is correct but that was a very good one and you had a close fight there Mark I just Wade really went all in and built

a whole painted a picture that I just I was I was I was world building I was looking at Wade's picture I didn't see all your stuff. Anyway, next one, next one. Very important. Toothbrush. It has to be a size that can fit into your mouth enough to reach your teeth. So I don't know if we're talking about big in terms of like very long. Is it like, yeah, the strands of the fiber are just like really, really long, like broom length. I'm not super clear on what kind of big the toothbrush is, but definitely the small one is like you pick it up and it's like a dollhouse toothbrush and you're like this is like an hour to brush your teeth of just like

Two hours of your day devoted just a brushing teeth I mean, you don't have to you know, you brush half and half the time is not specific, but it's tiny It's a tiny little it's like brushing your teeth with a splinter Here's what I'm gonna say it at a certain size So it's like brushing your teeth with a splinter. Here's what I'm gonna say. At a certain size, it loses any effectiveness as like a toothbrush, right? Because the bristles, it'd just be one bristle

to get any kind of effectiveness and you can't get any stiffness out of it. At least if you're shoving a broom in your mouth, you're gonna get some plaque off of there. You're gonna stab your gums quite a few times, but. You know, it would still actually clean something and in a timely fashion and think about how tough your gums would be afterwards you'd have the healthiest set of chompers this side of the Mississippi and I think that big's

the only way to go there. No no no small's the way to go here because even if it's small like you're saying it's not one bristle it's still gonna be effective that was part of the rules so it's still gonna work like a little doll hair brush and once you get back from the Met Gala, you just have your butler come in while you're sleeping and brush your teeth for you. That way you don't lose any time during your day. And it's so small,

it's basically not gonna be that noticeable. You know, I don't know about Miss Rich Richardson here, but I've never been to the Met Gala. So I don't know about his experience as being relatable to the common man. That's what I'm here for, is to really grow the salt of the earth. Life is about balance.

The yin and the yang, you got your big pants, your small toothbrush. It's all about the yin and the yang to fit together. You need the small toothbrush. I don't know what hypothetical world where he has big pants. This is a very strange man. He has odd, fashionable choices.

He cannot be trusted about the toothbrush decisions of the world. Interesting. Well, subjectively speaking, Mark is definitely correct. I get it. So that's a big toothbrush point for Mark. Shit. You know what, Wade, I appreciate you taking the other side.

I appreciate that. That's very nice of you. Thank you. That's considerate, but you're wrong and you suck. Next one. This one is one I people kind of experience because there is a range of sizes on this naturally already, but we're going to talk about this in this scale that's like concerning as opposed to realistic.

Fingers. Fingers, almost. So it'd be small enough that you still technically have fingers. Sorry, just imagine. Long and skinny or like short and skinny, like barely. Ooh, long and skinny. That'd be so fragile. I don't know.

I feel like proportional, but small. You know, the finger men, the finger men from Spy Kids. That's what I'm imagining. No, that was what inspired this. That image haunts me to this very day. I fucking hate those guys. Look up the finger guys from Spy Kids. Holy shit, did I hate that when I would

saw that movie as a kid. Oh. So we're talking small, but you could still pick small things up. Like they have to function. You have a functioning hand of fingers and the number is not different, but it's just, they're just unreasonably small.

Like you could barely, you could only pick up the smallest of utensils for whatever you're doing. And that, you know, there's a lack of strength. It creates issues. Big is the same, but big. They have to still fit on your hand and they have to still work as fingers.

But I think long, I think big needs to be longer. Like Slenderman-esque, like long, not extra joints necessarily, but- Like salad fingers. But they're thick too, right? They gotta be thick and long. They're out there, they're something. I'm imagining you got your pinky toe size finger

on each of these. Just a little pinky toe nub on all these. That's small. Okay. Big. It doesn't matter how big, how long. If you got big hands, you know what I'm saying? They got a certain, yeah, yeah, a je ne sais quoi about it, you know? It's a status symbol. In this universe, are we assuming that that's correct? So that's a a that is a rule that if you have big hands you have big penis yes maybe sure actually I retract my no I was drunk I accept your retraction well the finger size is now apparently tied to penis size so I'm gonna give way to point for being right right off the bat he's small is right no penis was right oh okay all right okay I'm gonna go small though here.

And there's a very particular reason I'm going small. I'll take my small dick I suppose. Dude, already there are times where my hands, I don't even have particularly large hands, but there are times where it's just like, I can't quite hit the reset button. I can't quite do this. If my finger was a little bit smaller.

The inside of my ears, I get itchy. I need to like itch my ears sometimes. A big old fucking fist-sized fingertip, I can't itch the inside of my ear. Oh, there's something stuck in my tooth, let me take my mammoth hand and I'll wait. No, I can't. I gotta wait till I can get like a toothbrush or something. I gotta get something. I need my hands and fingers to fit in things better than they do right now any bigger and thicker and it's like I can't give me the baby hands and the baby dick because at least then I could scratch an itch and do other things.

Look look my opponent raises some good points but it's called a q-tip you know they're made for the ears. You keep those on you at all times? Yes actually I do all the time but I would like to raise up one point. So even if it was gargantuanly unfeasibly large, there is one inspiration and and and Bob I I hope you can step outside of I know you don't like the game, but Elden Ring. I'm gonna bring up Elden Ring for a second here. You know, I've actually been played that a lot Lee. I'm coming around on it, but go ahead. Okay, good Okay, there's a certain weapon in the game in the base game

It's not a spoiler for the DLC and I'm gonna share I pulled up a video of it I think I actually know what you're about to show us and I don't there's a weapon here. It's the finger weapon I don't care for it Imagine if your finger was so large that one flick think about any rings you could have on it You could wear a lot of Elden rings it would be very expensive to get rings the size of that finger I mean you got a finger that big you can afford if you know what I mean But if you have small hands you can just have like a little hand Contraption made that you put your little hands into that are like normal sized hand things and still have functional hands.

They're just working the little hand contraption. You like these guys? I love these guys. Oh, that the manner. Oh God. Yeah. Those hands have so much hand in them. I hated those things.

Yeah. That's, that's, that's what it'd be. Yeah. Not only that, not only that, but your dick. Huge. Mark is playing a video from I forget what exactly it was called. It's called the Manor, the something something Manor. Carrian Manor I think. Carrian Manor in Elden Ring where there's these big hands that have like eight to ten fingers each that that come after you. They crawl around. They're like thing from uh Adam's family but huge. I don't care for those. I don't.

Small. Give me small. You can't shrink them. You can't care for those. I don't. Small, give me small. You can't shrink them. You can't put big hands into a smaller thing. They're still big hands. Smaller hands you can work with. I don't need a small world when I got big hands. You're like, you can't hold a big utensil. You fucking wrap that thing to your little hand

and all of a sudden. Called lips. You know, you can pick up anything with lips. Excuse me. You can pick up anything with lips. me You can pick up anything with lips That's it, that seals it Subjectively Mark is correct, you can pick up anything with lips He got there

I couldn't see the forest through the hair I was struggling to figure out who was subjectively winning that debate Mark just subjectively kicked your ass to the curb You can pick up anything anything in the same way that you can milk anything with nipples.

You can pick up anything with lips. And that is just a truth of the universe. I just, I hadn't considered it. Like I wanna fight more, but I have to concede that's a point I hadn't even gotten to. What a world. You and I are playing big, small chess. He's playing big checkers.

Yeah, that's it. Alrighty, well, that's the end. We've made some astonishing discoveries and important decisions today, I think. Most importantly, we decided big or small on a range of new things that now everyone can take and use that information in their daily day lives. And if it ever comes up, you know which is correct. Mark, you earned points for... Sick Chica, Chica Fine Too Clever, Small Dog, Bike Nuts, Met Gala, Big Thinking, Diamond Medallion Life, Tik Tok Update, Peanut Nipples, salting the earth, dead but then not dead, ghost, big toothbrush, big things, and also Elden Ring, you earned a point for it. I'm coming around on Elden, I've played a lot of Elden Ring lately.

Oh wow, he didn't get any points for the lips? The Elden Ring points was also kind of the lips point. I was writing that as you said lips, and I was, you know what, you're right, Wade, he should get a point for lips. All right, thank you. Oh, Mark, you also got a point for lips that's excellent you know Mark doesn't sign our checks I gotta do what I can for him Wade you earn points for good boy bald Russian bald guru small dog agreement trees in the face he survived subjectively correct, fart jars Australia with a big angry face drawn next to it. Big insects correct, hazmat suit for two, butler brush and penis correct guess apparently.

Oh no, yeah, because it was about penises even though I said it wasn't, you were correct. Well it was about penises, but it was ultimately about lips. And those two go hand in hand, that's not how I want it. That's to go penis and lips. You got your lip in my penis. You got your penis in my lip. Racist penis. I got minus one point for Papa. Oh wait, what did I say? Uh, HIPAA Papa. That's yeah. No, I, I deserve to lose a point for that. Wade, you earned a total of 14 points today. And Mark, you earned a total of 18 points.

But also you lost two points for coming back to life. But that still means you earned a total of 16 points today. And I didn't say it out loud, but we were playing most points wins. Someday I want to do least points wins without announcing that and just throw that in at the very last moment. But I don't want to do that today. That seems mean. So anyway, congratulations to Mark. It was a good episode today. You guys had a lot of back and forth. You changed my mind. You smalled my big and big to my small on a couple of occasions. And I'm shocked. And honestly, Wade, you deserve better. But I treat you poorly because I'm a bad friend.

Uh, the loser speech? Oh me first, yeah. This loser speech is brought to you by me, because I lost. I just gotta say, I'm glad we agreed on a lot of these things, and the few that we didn't, I know in my heart of hearts I was correct. But ultimately the thing that I'm coming away with, is that having a house with a bunch of really tiny puppies running around like little hamster mouse cage type tunnels and stuff would be really adorable and then just laying on the

ground and having a bunch of little tiny puppies like jump up and try to give you kisses and hugs would be awesome And I'm just gonna take this loss thinking about that and feeling like a winner anyway Feeling like a winner, but looking like a loser mark winner speech. I like to think big. I'm a big thinker I got big thoughts. I don't know if I always went big in this game, but I'd like to feel that I did. In my heart, my big, big heart, I have a very big heart. The biggest actually.

It's problematically huge. As my doctor liked to say, I'm just that much of a lover. Look at my fingers, look at my lips. Thank you. Have a good day. Was he so small, did that make him average sized? Yeah, it's an optical illusion because he's so short. Anyway, congratulations, Mark.

That means you're going to host the next episode. Thank you. Everyone, thanks so much for listening and watching, or both. Make sure you subscribe to the podcast so that you always know when there's a new episode. And subscribe on Spotify specifically because that's the only place you can watch the video if you're into that. Oh, you're into that. You know you are. Yeah, probably you are. Mark is Markiplier, Wade is

Minion777 or LordMinion777, I am MySkerm, we have social media, we also have merch available at destructiblestore.com. That's the end of the episode and I sincerely for about two seconds just forgot what we always say at the end of literally every episode of the several hundred that we've done now. But I remember don't worry everybody. Bye. Podcast out.