Distractible - Bob's Secret Words

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

Step aside Wade and Mark, it's time for Bob to show us all how to properly do "Secret Words"... again... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Vitamin Water. Everyone knows that New York City has got to be one of the most stylish, diverse, and fun places in the world. And you could see all that character in Vitamin Water, which was born in New York because New Yorkers wanted more. It comes in a range of flavors that match the vibrancy of the city and brings the New York vibe wherever you are. Grab a Vitamin Water today. This episode is brought to you by Vitamin Water. So much of what the world is obsessed with starts out in New York City. It's a place full of style and character that has something for everyone.

With a range of flavors to meet any kind of taste, it's no wonder Vitamin Water was born there. Colorful, flavorful, anything but boring, Vitamin Water injects a daily dose of vibrancy into a watered-down life. Grab a vitamin water today. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. These episodes. Biased Bob's Fearless Progeny debuts from Carolina,

as Big Daddy invokes polygonal places. Male-clad Mark has a unique bow wow, cares for cats, cracks nuts, and fails with SpongeBob. Wake the Wade as hot to trot, and his powers of description suck until sirens. From covert narcotics to a full codex. Yes! It's time for Bob's Secret Words.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to another episode of your niece's favorite podcast. I made that joke before. Your favorite podcast. World famous podcast for being your favorite podcast. This is Distractable. Hello, welcome. My name is Bob. I'm your host for this episode, and I'm not in my usual place.

I'm in a vacation house in North Carolina with a screaming baby in the other room and with six other adults in the house. So it might be a little noisy, but we're doing our best and I will be joined from their usual places by my usual friends For to be the usual competitors on these usual podcasts. It's Mark and Wade Say hi. I'm the usual one. Are you like in a Safe house or are you hiding from the government or is it actually vacation? It's vacation. This is this is a big family vacation it's like we're near the beach and James saw the ocean for the first time a couple days ago and he loves it. He has no fear whatsoever.

We were literally like, he might not like it, it's big and scary. And we walked him out onto the beach and we're like, look, it was the ocean. And for half a second he was kind of like, what the fuck's wrong with that pool? And then he was like, I'm going in and ran into the ocean at full speed and he does not know what fear means. That's terrifying. He wants to go swim with the sharks, meet Aquaman and all that stuff.

Fun family memories, terrifying, but fun. I want Mark to babysit him at the beach now with Mark's love of the ocean and James fear of the ocean. I think those two combined. This is a winning combination. Don't worry about a thing Bob go to sleep you can slumber. James gets into the three inch deep edge of the ocean and Mark is like he's gone I'll call Bob. We went uh we went to the ocean and no one hates the ocean more than Henry and no one love hates

the ocean more than Chica. She gets her toes in and as soon as the wave come by she's like and then Henry just like stands at the edge and literally we're not even pulling on his leash and he's still like feet dug in leaning back like this. We're not tugging him towards the ocean and every time we're about to get near when Chica's going he's still like, I'm ready. You're gonna betray me at any moment. He's like the opposite of that character who's like, hold me back. Hold me back. No one's touching him and Henry's like, don't make me. And you're like, just stay there, man. That's fine. He's like, hold me back, hold me back. No one's touching him. And he's like, don't make me. And you're like, just stay there, man. That's fine. He's like, I won't do it. They're the same way about the pool. But we took Chica to a creek.

Finally, she saw like an actual like kind of creek river thing. She loved it. She was in there waiting around and all the water was so curious about all the ripples, drank some of it, which is probably not great, but she loved it. Why does she hate pools in the ocean? She's a literal golden retriever, which are meant to be water dogs, and yet she hates the water except for the creek. So maybe it's just specifically rivers that she was bred for. She's actually a golden creek retriever. It's a very specific subspecies. Our dogs will hop on like a raft in the pool. Ginger loves being in and around the pool. She'll like hop on the step and sit in it and stuff. Presley's a little bit more finicky about it.

Presley's the only one that's ended up in a creek because he was chasing a rabbit. We were just, I didn't take them down with us. We were just down at Lake Cumberland in Kentucky this past weekend. I wish they'd come with us, but we knew there was gonna be some other dogs that they didn't get along well with in the past. I just didn't want to deal with it, so they got to go to vacation instead of my mom's. They're the only dachshunds I know that will kind of like tolerate water. The rest of them have always hated it. But Ginger loves water. She doesn't mind swimming, she doesn't mind sitting on a raft. I've never had a pro water dog myself. Lexi knows the truth about water. She hates it. It's all just different kinds of baths, and baths are for idiots and

losers. She knows what's up. Wait, do you have a video? Do you have a video of your dog doing that adorable tiny dog jump into the water? Oh yeah. We probably do somewhere. The Superman. She wouldn't do the jump, but we do have the video of holding her over a pool and she's all, she's not in the water. Just trying to swim. We've got to have one somewhere. I need to find that. Yeah. I think actually speaking of dogs, I've always said Henry's incredibly smart, right? He had an eye infection recently.

He still does. He's going to take care of. So he has eye drops for it, right? So for a while, like it's like his inner, you know, dogs have two eyelids and the inner one is, it was inflamed and kind of, so every time he looked like he had a big droopy eye. And so I started giving him these drops and he didn't, he didn't rebel too much at the first times, but I swear he asked me for the drop, right? I can't tell you, it wasn't,

because he'll come up to me sometimes and like whine if he wants food or something, and I go like, we already had dinner. I was like, you had dinner, you wanna go outside? And he's like, he doesn't respond. Because whenever I say the word that he wants, he'll jump and he'll go towards the thing. And I was like, outside, outside?

Going back and forth this, and I said like, do you want the drop? And he goes, he'll jump and he'll go towards the thing. And I was like, outside, outside? Going back and forth this and I said, like, do you want the drop? And he goes, medicine? And he's like, he doesn't know these words, but they're different. And I think he's tangentially related. So I get up and he's like, okay, yeah, follow me. And he leads me to the kitchen

where we have the little eyedropper and I get the eyedropper and I pointed at him. He's like this, and he goes, sits, tilts his head up. And I'm like, do you understand that this makes your eye feel better? Are you asking for it? And so I gave it to him and he was like, then he went off on his own. I don't know. Like, oh my God, he's so smart. Anyway, he's very smart boy. That is pretty smart. Yeah, that's really smart. Lexi is not like that. Lexi, Lexi gets her

once a month, uh, flea and tick medicine medicine and every time it's like I show her a treat and she's like okay and then I show her the pill and she's like oh you go fuck yourself. I'm going upstairs and I'm like no no come over here and I show her the treat and she's like I remember the other thing you just showed me. I'm not that stupid." And then it's like a wrestling match, it's a whole thing. She doesn't care if she dies of heartworms, she's never taken a pill willingly in her life. I've managed to trick Chica into taking pills because if it's small enough, not for like the flea pill medicine thing, the treat that's huge, but if it's like little antibiotics she had, I practiced with her throwing popcorn at her. So she loves popcorn.

So she'll automatically like, and she's very good at catching it. If you throw the pill at her, she will automatically go, so you don't even have to try. Has she ever just had like a bad catch and just launched the pill into orbit accidentally or has it always worked out?

Sometimes, sometimes. We never lost it if I pick it up again, because that's what we do with popcorn. Every time she misses it, pick it up again, and I throw it at her, she loves it. So she takes those pills, no problem. The benefits of having two dogs is they both want what the other one gets,

so I'll get the heartworm out. And Presley, he's just happy to eat whatever. Like, I can wrap it in anything. I can put a little peanut butter, whatever, he'll eat it. So Ginger, she's like, I want to eat the treat around it, and I'll spit the pill out. Unless she thinks I'm gonna give something to Presley, so I'll let Presley like lick her pill or whatever first.

And then she's like, no, no, I want that. And she'll eat it without even thinking, just gobble it down. So that's how I get them to do the heartworm is Presley has to lick her treat before she'll eat it. And then Presley will just eat his fine. I should do that with the dog and the baby, it would totally work.

I don't wanna encourage you to give your baby dog medicine, but like, it wouldn't hurt. Ear meds I can't do nothing I can do to make him like ear medicine. Hey baby. Hey guys I have a baby. Oh wow is this his first appearance on the podcast? I think it is. It might be. How are you doing mister? Who's supposed to be taking a nap? Who's not now? Well, this is interesting. I'm assuming this means he's being a problem. Dad's not busy. Sit him in there.

Lock the door. How could it possibly be a problem? No, no. Whoa. Hey, now we're here and we're still in the same episode. Absolutely. Everything's the same. Nothing happened.

Do I explain it or do we just not even? No. Yes, maybe. In the same episode. Absolutely. Everything's the same. Nothing happened. Do I explain it or do we just not even? No, yes, maybe. We're here now and we had some excellent small talk that I very much remember because we just had it just a moment ago. But now it's time to play the game. And I have a game and I've DM'd you both some lists of words.

And this is basically, this is a game show let's be honest I borrowed this format but I've decided to call this the pyramid of frenemies okay are we co-oping kind of so have you guys seen like the ten thousand dollar pyramid I have to sneeze okay or like pass phrase I sent you lists of words and you kind of have to work together But you're kind of competing against each other one of you has to get the other one to say The words on the lists I've sent you several lists without saying the word yourself and there are themes to the rounds And so I think there's a game called password. There's definitely a TV show called like $10,000 pyramid password. There's definitely a TV show called like $10,000 pyramid.

We look, Mark had that brilliant idea of Mark's secret words. And I just thought that that was a really, that really shifted things for me. And then I thought that was really, so this is kind of like a riff on, this is my version of the secret word stuff. Bob's secret word. Not as brilliant as Mark's idea, possibly the best idea we've ever had. We've not had an idea like this since weird part six. We'll see about that because it's time to play. I don't want to call it the

Pyramid of Front. That's a terrible name. Bob's Secret Mid. Bob's Secret Mark and Wade's Words. Yeah. Yeah. It rolls right off the tongue. Mark, you're up first because apparently I sent these to you first. The first round, the theme is video games. And you have a list of hopefully five words. It looks like five words.

I'm sure you understand the rules of the game. I'm going to put one minute on the clock. For every word that Mark successfully gets Wade to guess, you get a point and you don't get points if you don't get Wade to guess the words and vice versa. So your goal is to get them and you want to participate because your opponent could just not guess any words I'm hoping we don't get to that point and we only get 10 seconds per round 60 you get one whole minute Where did I get that? I have no idea where you got 10 seconds It's kind of like charades or or what's that? You can you anything you want. Like you can say related words,

you can go for like things that rhyme, you can pantomime stuff, anything you want except for actually just saying the word that you're trying to get, word or words, that you're trying to get your guesser to guess. There's no strict rules. So however you wanna approach it. Does he

get a point for guessing on my list? I get a point for him guessing words that I'm saying. You are getting points when you are trying to get Wade to guess and Wade is earning points when he is trying to get you to guess. So we're playing in good faith here because theoretically if you just didn't guess at all or guessed really poorly you could screw your opponent out of any points. But I have a feeling that if that happened no one would ever get any points. Wade, I will I will play fairly. I will try my best to give you the best answers when you go.

And I'll try to give you good clues here. Same. And I'm sure Wade commits to the same. Yes. The scoreboard doesn't matter. I just want to cooperatively get some points with you. Mark, your first round, the theme is video games. Oh, also, it's six words each. I just don't count very good. You see, you see your first round the theme is video games oh also it's six words each I just don't count very good you see you see your six words mark are you prepared yes I do I'm ready I'm ready let me add them ready that yes the thing

outside the cat's shit in yard litter box garden outside mulch under a playset there's sometimes a sandbox, sand, yes, another word for area in a game, land, zone, stack them on top of each other, yeah an elevator go up and down them, floor, lock, level, yeah level alright this is the exclamation part over someone's head idea quest. Yeah, there we go All right some some dude not not a dude though. Not a human not human at all alien NPC The at the at the highest floor of the building there would be the top roof

Sorry, I bet person top roof. Oh sorry I meant person at the top of the... Oh hey that was pretty good that was pretty good you got sandbox level quest npc that's pretty good you were also going for boss and controller you didn't really get to what he's that was good wait are you ready do you have your list in front of you of the video game words? I think so one of them doesn't have a dot by it but I'm willing to forgive that. I know that's incredibly confusing I I'm sad. I was... I sent these messages from my phone while I was at the beach, which I was just at earlier during this same episode five minutes ago. I'm really sorry for the formatting. Anyway. That's okay. That's okay.

Uh, but anyway, wait. Go! The place you start over when you die. Uh, game over. Uh... The starting zone. This time we can't re... What? Respawn? Without the re. Spawn.

This-er shooter. Can you grab this off the ground? Ground of gunner. Of bang boomy. You could also play it as an instrument. Trumpet. Uh... drums. Terrible.

French horn. Flute. No, the whole point of games where you're going to grab goodies like treasure. Loot. Yes. Yes, nine seconds. The last airbender. Air. Bald. The title. Avatar. That's it. What a first loot shooter. What was the clue to that one? He was trying to get looter shooter and he said this or shooter. Oh Confusing and then the instrument one. Who's gonna guess loot has an instrument You said I was like, yep, no way Mark's getting that one.

But yep, yep, technically, yes. And the whole respawn, I was trying to steal your song from, you know, in space. This time we can't respawn. I don't remember. I think Mark might have some other thing kind of rushing around his head right now. My next thing was going to be the clown from the movie Spawn in the 90s. I don't know if you know that one. No, man.

Dude, your references. So all right. I thought this was going to be really balanced, but I'm having concerns about where Wade is coming from. I'm going to be no one's brain works like we need. Get ready. I'm tuned in. I'm locked in.

I know how to make you guess. So far, as per usual, this is going exactly as I thought it would. And I knew what you guys would do. And it's really good. Mark, are you prepared for round two? I'm so ready. Round two is and we're all really good at this. Science, just generally science. These will be sciencey words, but not specifically like physics or technology or biology.

It could be anything. Mark, 60 seconds on the clock. It doesn't help if I don't know some of these words myself, right? There should be a relatively knowable words. Should be. They're like high school and lower level words generally. Hopefully this was good.

Anyway, Mark, 60 seconds. Get him. All right. So when you're in an electric chair and the guy's next to you, he throws a big lever thingy. What's this thing? Switch. Different. He throws the lever. He completes the circuit. Yeah. Yes. There's an event horizon. You're going to spaghettify if you go in the... Black hole. Yes. Okay. Bill Nye, the science guy guy once did this thing that's lived with me forever

He took a carrot that was dried out and shriveled and he put it in a glass of water the effect What happened to the shriveled carrot absorbed the water and it was crunchy again. What happened? Reanimation reanimated regrowth speaking of animated. There's a there's a great movie with a pill an movie pill with a came in with a gun in the white blood cell. Osmosis Jones. Yes! It's just a little single celled organism. Amoeba. It's in the air everywhere. It's gonna make you sick.

That's time. That's time. I can't believe you got Osmosis though with an osmosis jones reference. That's a bonus point. I'm giving you a bonus point for referencing osmosis jones. Thank you. One of the most underappreciated movies of my childhood. I can't believe I got that reference. The carrot though, that actually has lived with me forever. Like I know Bill Nye, he put a carrot in water or something like that and it absorbed the water and it became crunchy again. Like I know Bill Nye, he put a carrot in water or something like that and it absorbed the water and it became crunchy again. So, I do that. Sometimes I had old blueberries that were kind of shriveled up and I was like, I wonder if it'll happen. Put them in water,

they plumped right up. It was crazy. It's fantastic. It works really well for herbs. Herbs dry out in the fridge really fast, but they'll freshen right up if you just osmosis them a little bit of water. You got to chant while it's in the water. Osmosis, osmosis them a little bit of water. You gotta chant while it's in the water. Osmosis, osmosis, and bwaaah. Literally since it happened, in the movie Osmosis Jones, in one of the live action scenes, there's a scene where Bill Murray, who plays like a slothily disgusting, greasy man, has like the world's largest zit on his forehead.

And there's a scene where that explodes of its own volition and sprays the zit goop onto the face of the woman he's talking to who I think was his child's teacher or principal or something yeah something like that that has been like a fear like I've never had a zit that I thought would do that but that's since I saw that in the back of my mind if I ever get a zit I've always been like oh please don't explode I don't understand some people are super into popping. Oh yeah that doctor pimple popper whatever. I don't understand any of that. Also me not I'm not gonna yuck someone's yum but

also yuck God. You could make it into pimple popper corn. You can spontaneously pop other people's pimples by going osmosis to them. And they'll just swell with water right away. Walk up to a bunch of teenagers and just do that. And it looks like a murder scene. The weird superpower, you walk up to the to the villain, osmosis, osmosis. And they're just like, what's he doing? Oh, no. I was going to say something not as deadly where you osmosis yourself.

If you ever lose your boner when you're making love sweet love Comes right back you're in the throes of Intimate passions and you're just like osmosis osmosis osmosis Who is osmosis and why do you keep saying their name right now? I know I'm with you But I'm always thinking about osmosis all right Wade, science. 60 seconds on the clock. Good. Commence. Uh, plants absorb sunlight via? Not osmosis, photosynthesis. Yes, uh, not a positron or an electron but uh.

Neutron? Yes. Not religion and creation but the process of monkey to... Evolution? Yes. A force that sucks us down to planets. Gravity? Yes, really small. The basis of all things are... Atom?

Yes, a combination of atoms makes... Molecule? Yes. Well, damn. Is that all of them? Yeah. You had 22 seconds left on the clock. That was first guess every time.

I'm so flabbergasted by what just happened. I'm so proud of us. I can't believe it, man. After getting stuck on spawn on the last one, I really thought I was in trouble here. Are you some kind of scientist? What the hell was that? I don't know, but I'm not gonna lie for molecule.

I was like, I think it's a combination of atoms, right? All right, Wade comes charging back. I have a renewed optimism about where this is going gentlemen All right round three. I'm excited for this one. I tried to make it fair, but these are some interesting words round three is Borrowed words as in words that we use in english But that are borrowed from other languages. If you're curious on your list, it shows you which language the words you have are borrowed from. And some of them I find very funny and was completely unaware of and some of them are pretty obvious, I think. So Mark, you're up first. You know

all those words, right? Do I have to make them guess where the country of origin? No, no, I included that because I thought it was interesting. Dude we're not gonna say game. It's the exact same game, you just have to get him to guess the word. I just, some of them I was like, oh that's from that? Oh I didn't know that. Oh and I was like, they might want to know that, I'll just copy and paste that right over. All right okay. So you got 60 seconds Mark. I'm ready. Go. And then in Spongebob, there's a guy that chases SpongeBob

when him and Patrick were selling something and he screams this real loud. Stop. No, it's about what they were selling. Jellyfish. No, come on, man. I don't know this episode. It's edible, it's edible.

And there was an old lady, shveled weird worm in a wheelchair. I don't know. Oh, okay. Skipping that. Bob is this. Bob is this for ads a lot. Oh, happy, nice, calm. It's a character. I do this character. Guru. Yes. Okay. All right. So the Nutcracker play. Yes, okay. All right, so you the nutcracker play the people in the nutcracker are doing this dance To to ballet I'm sorry. What was the first one? It was chocolate, you know I don't remember that. I don't think I've seen that episode. Oh man It's one of it's one of the best The only one I could think of is like how many times we gotta teach you this lesson old man I was like none of that would be a borrowed word. I'm sorry

I think I think the chocolate might be one of the most famous I haven't seen it. I don't remember it. That's definitely a very famous like meme slash reference from the show. Yes I'm so sorry. I failed you. Bad luck. Bad luck, Mark. It's OK. You could just sandbag Wade a little bit and really cut down. And you can you can manipulate this. No, no, I'll I'll try because it feels like I'm winning.

I don't know if I guess right. Well, Wade, are you ready to get Mark to guess some borrowed words? Yeah, yeah, let's do it. All right. Go after preschool before first grade. Uh, recess. Um, uh, uh, um, what the fuck? What the fuck? Kindergarten. Yes. Uh, big wave, big, scary wave. Tsunami. Browser on your phone. Edge? No. Chrome. Safari. Yes. Uh, you play this. It has a bunch of keys. Piano? Yeah. Things like there's plenty more fish in the sea,

dime a dozen, home's where the heart is. Slogan? Close. Things people say that are said a lot. Colloquialism. Another word for that, I think. There's another word for colloquialism? It's a similar meaning, it's not the same meaning.

You'll know when you see, hear it, think of it. Turn a phrase. Don't be, two syllables. Don't be stupid. I'm sorry. That's Yeah, don't be stupid. It was going for cliches. Oh My next one was faux pas, I'm not gonna lie. I had no idea what to do for that So I'm glad we didn't get to it. Oh, you just say, I do these a lot. Me, Wade, all the time. That's great if I knew what a faux pas meant. Equivalent to like putting your foot in your mouth. Oh, God, I do do that a lot.

You make some kind of social mistake with it that's supposed to be embarrassing. I was going to say it rhymes with Ro-ma. It rhymes with blah blah. Are rhymes against the rules? I know I specifically did say you can do rhymes. I guess that would technically be allowed. Woohoo! Too bad, never got to do it. Alright, round four is going to be household items.

Like chapstick? Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff It's not a container You're holding up a container you're on It's not this is just chapstick you got to hold the chapstick up without the container to really make the point Oh, here you go Oh chapstick. I know what that is Household items these includes like like furniture, appliances, house, things in a house or apartment or whatever. Mark, are you ready? I'm ready. I believe in you.

Ready, set, go. If you're in a bath, you don't want this item going in. Toaster. Yes. This box heats up food with magic. Microwave. Yes. So you have your sectional, you got your love seat, and you got your...

Chair, armchair, recliner. Wide. Not a couch? Different word. Sofa. Yes. Bob's most famous episode ever. Fridge.

The whole word. Count it. I'll count it. Okay, so illuminate your life with these in your house. Lights. No, the thing it's in. That! I can't see what you're pointing at, but I'm gonna say

a lamp, standing lamp. So, um, uh, uh, uh. That's time. Oh man, I got caught up because like, it cleans your dishes. No, wait. It cleans your plates and whatnots. That was a good one. That was a good bounce background. That was a good one. Okay. Five out of six. Wade, are you ready for household items? Yes. Raise that go.

Tells time. Clock. That guy from Futurama played by John DiMaggio. Bender. Wait, no, there's an L. Bender. That's it. Bender.

Zink, you lost your hands Zink. Zink? Oh. Ponder. That's it. Ponder. Thing you wash your hands in. Sink. The thing you put your pots and pans on to cook. A stove. You put dirty clothes in this. Laundry, washing machine. First one was closer.

Laundry machine. Another word for carrier. Laundry hamper. Closer. Laundry box, laundry bin? Another word for carrier? Laundry hamper. Closer? Laundry box, laundry bin. Things you take a picnic? Laundry basket? Thank you.

You cut with these, cut paper, cut boxes. Knife, scissors. Scissors, thank you. With three seconds on the clock. Bender and blender are two different things I've learned. When you started with that, my brain was seriously like, what the fuck does he think? I've not seen much future of it,

but I swear I thought his name was Blender. I was like, Blender, I could go with like making dough, but no, I got a great idea. Watch this guy. If that had been to be Fry for Air Fryer, that would have made sense. Cause I think Joe DiMaggio also plays Fry. No, Joe DiMaggio only does Blender in the main cast.

Bender? Fucking God damn it. It's actually John DiMaggio. Whatever. Joe DiMaggio was like a football player or something. Who knows? Baseball player thing. John DiMaggio is the actor voice actor. Sorry, John. Ah, all right.

Round five. Mark. Yes. Round five is items you would find in the grocery store. I believe they're all food. Yes, these are all like food item type things. I just I just realized the categories. If you think only about that category, when you're guessing, it makes it a lot easier. I have not been doing that. I've been thinking about anything.

Guessing in general. I've been trying, but I'm not going to lie with borrowed words. I had no idea where to focus. You've got 60 seconds, Mark. Are you ready? All right. I'm ready. Go. The best part of waking up. Folgers coffee. Yes. If Bill and I were to put raisins in a glass of water, he might. Grape? Yes.

Grape? If you brush your teeth, you don't want to drink this afterwards. Orange juice, oranges, orange. You cut these, you're gonna... Fry onions. Yes. Oh, it's gooey. It's creamy or crunchy?

Peanut butter. Yes. Slices of pig. Ham. Longer, thinner, thinner, longer, thin, longer. Hucka, wiener, ribs. No, thin, thin, long. Thin, of pig. Ham. Longer, thinner, thinner, longer, thin, longer. Hot dog, wiener, ribs. Long, no, thin, thin, long. Thin, long pig. Thin, long pig. Thin. Thin, long pig. Oh. Hamito. No, no, it's super long and flat and like a ruler. It looks like a ruler and then it curls up. That's uh... What? I don't know.

Bacon? Oh. Bacon? I'm sorry. You, you finished his clue for onion, but you couldn't get to bacon. Dude, I don't know. He said curled up and I pictured the dog treats, the little pizzlers. I was like, what the fuck? You were, you were really odd there right up until bacon though. Literally he was like, you just say this with eggs and I had it. I was with you. You cut these and you were jumped in and were like, and you cry onions.

Yeah, I was so with him. Bacon's not food. Maybe your grocery store doesn't have bacon. Are you, do you live a baconless life? I love bacon. Honestly, first part of the pig I should think of for food, bacon. No, apparently ham.

Hamsters, ham. I really wanted it to be ham. We got ham at the store today, so ham's on my brain. That's fair. It's your turn, Wade. Things at the grocery store. Are you ready? Yeah.

Go. Big yellow fruit. Banana. Spread this on toast. Butter. On a sandwich, you want ham and? Cheese. The things you were referencing with Bill and I earlier. Butter. On a sandwich, you want ham and... Cheese? The things you were referencing with Bill Nye earlier.

Orange. Carrot. Comes in a cup, kind of like a white, thicker, not quite liquid, but liquidy. There's fruity ones. It's in the dairy section. Cold. Eat with a spoon, peel off the little top.

Oh, yogurt. Use this to make dough. Use this to make gravy. White powder. Flour. Ding! I heard the ding! Did I win?

I know what that is. That's that microphone. I'll be right back. That... Man, that could not have been a more perfectly timed, real life, unrelated ding. Oh my Lord, that was fantastic for me. Wade you are so fast.

The first round I was like, oh no, I thought Wade would be good at these. What happened at every subsequent round? You're so- I don't know. You think video games would have been my strong suit? I did think that was like obviously us first. I was like, that's the easy one.

We all do these things. We'll know these words. I mean, I do think that getting the specific word of like loot or spawn is a bit tougher than, I don't know, butter. If we've learned anything over the years, it's that I'm not good at assessing what's easy or what's not easy when it comes to word games.

I got to onions before I got bacon, which is a shock to me. All right. Well, thank God you got that mic. I know, right on time. All right. That's okay though. I think this actually probably sounds just as good if not better. This is a very nice microphone. Where were we? That bong could not have been more perfect. Literally as you said the last thing it was like FLOWER!

Huh I am now that I'm looking at this. I don't know why I made this the sixth and final round, but this is a toughie comparatively. Obviously the sixth and final round has to be tools. That's just, you know, video games, science, broad word, household items, grocery store tools. Mark, are you ready? I'm ready. You know, tools, you're good you're tool

guy he won't be the problem here it will be me well I guess we'll find out on your market set do it you use this to slam into nails again and again hammer yes the first part of this word is another word for fuck and then there's a movie named after the second part sex you do a lot of this, a lot of wrist action. Screwdriver. So it's neither of the previous two, but monkeys really need them. Wrench. Yes. Okay, there's an infamous picture of me where someone's holding up a marker.

I'm in the distance going ooh pliers Yes, you can play with this or you can use this to measure your penis. Oh fuck. I said the word oh That is unfortunate. All right, just get that one see Do you know there's a there's a two-part word where you go bouncy up on a big stick and that's called a see saw. Saw. Okay, I'm gonna give that to you. I'm gonna give that to you. I'm like, man, I even like with tape measure, I was like, oh, you can't say measure. And then I came up with ha ha, measure your penis and that.

Measure your dick. All right. You have it all to lose, Wade. Great. The ball is in your court, metaphorically. Round six. Six words. Tools. Are you ready? Yes. Go. Use this to dig graves.

Trouble? Use this to break into cars or break off planks. Especially in video games. You get it a lot early game. Cobar! Don't stick a fork in a light bulb socket. Socket. Cool. Use this to hit much bigger nails. Mallet. I think you use this also for a similar purpose. It's see it. Okay. Use this to hit nails It's got a first word big sledgehammer Use this to cut but a variety of purposes knife One word before that there's room in your house. You might have a closet that you call your oh, that's time

broom knife utility knife My god, I thought he was gonna get that I was trying to get sledgehammer when he said mallet I was like well, I guess that works. Wait, was it not mallet? It was mallet We do I was told we were allowed to do that No, you were but when I you had been doing them mostly in order and the first one on wait So let's is utility knife. That's so weird.

I thought you like didn't know what it was and you were like use these to dig graves. And I was like, oh no, oh God. Oh, that's a bad direction. I was less thinking about what they're all used for and more how I could get Mark to say them. That's kind of been my strategy moving since the beginning is kind of like, eh.

I do believe a broom knife would be very useful. It would have even more uses than a utility knife. I didn't even think you said broom. I thought you said room knife. And I was like, oh, that is a... I have bed knife. I do have bed knife. That's true.

I got a knife for every room. I got office knife, toilet knife, shower knife, sink knife. I know how to get utility. Utility was a tough one to get. You have to pay your blank bills, which include electric and water. That space in Monopoly that no one wants. Free parking? No, that no one wants. All the utilities.

Yeah, utilities. Right. I forgot you were trying to get us to guess the word utility. I just started saying other things. I know. You and I both are completely off the rails. Boardwalk Park place. Do not pass. All right. Jail. Jail. No one wants jail.

I'm a terrible guesser, but a good clue giver. I wrote a lot of stuff in this one. This is all just this episode. I've never taken so many notes. I can't wait till we fill up these pads and I can like auction it off and become rich off of this distractible one of a kind item. That's definitely gonna happen. Anyway Mark, you earned points for sandbox grapes level orange juice orange juice quest

onions peanut butts NPC circuit hammer screwdriver black hole wrench osmos wrench, osmosis pliers, osmosis bonus. Oh, those are a pliers and osmosis. Got it. We're separate. Okay. Guru, saw, ballet, toaster, microwave, sofa, refrigerator, lamp and coffee. Wait, you earn points for spawn, loot, laundry basket, scissors, bananas, our avatar, photosynthesis, cheese neutron evolution carrots gravity yogurt

atom flower molecule shovel kindergarten crowbar namans just socket safari mallet what is that last one? namikus? tsunami it's a tsunami got it uh sledgehammer piano clock blender, and fl-flown. Flower? Flower, yeah, that's not an N. Did Mark was such a good guesser on these? Mark really had your back.

Mark, you earned a total of 26 points today. That seems to be, I know there's kind of a trend whenever there's a score set first. Oh, you're right. Wait, you earned a total. Forget what I said. How many markup? When you earned a total of twenty nine points. Oh, how many market?

And Mark, you earned a total. Oh, oh, of twenty six points. That's a good idea, Mark, saying I'm the other way around. We were a lot closer than I. That was a good idea, Mark, saying I'm the other way around. We were a lot closer than I, that was really close. Yeah, considering that each of you had rounds that were basically total flops. Dude, my round one was so bad.

From round one, you only got, I guess you got three in the end, but just barely. It didn't feel like three. No, it was fun. I don't know if you guys had fun, but I enjoyed. Oh yeah, that was fun. Dude, Mark crushed's I don't know if you guys had fun, but I enjoyed Dude mark crushed when I've done when I was giving the clues for round two It was like every word was first guess that was awesome. That was very impressive That was possibly the best round in the entire match or whatever you call this. Thank you for giving me points for that mark

I really appreciate you crushing it for me there. You're welcome teamwork though. We did we only missed a few words, right? Yeah, I mean are there even losers today. You guys are a good team. That's really the takeaway I think. Also Mark loses and Wade wins. So Mark if you want to give your loser speech Fail. Today's loser speech is brought to you by Margrout Beer. You know the feeling. It's 3 p.m. On a Thursday. Too late for a coffee, too early for a beer. So you walk around aimlessly in search of a mysterious third beverage. That's when you need mugroot beer. Drink mugroot beer and let them know you've got that dark in you.

Hey look, listen, smell, hear, touch. All of your senses will be engaged in the following episode. It's a new 5D experience. Thankfully, I won't be hosting, so you will not have to smell, touch, taste, hear and listen and see me. Thank you. Today's loser's speech was brought to you by Mugroot Beer.

It's a perfect third beverage for any occasion. Caffeine free, carbonated, and delicious. So drink Mugroot Beer if you got that dog in you. Hey, you can hear but not listen, so I'm gonna give that to you. That's actually the sixth sense is listening while you're hearing. Wade, congratulations. Mark played really well today, which somehow led to you winning,

and you really earned this one, by which I mean Mark really earned it for you. Winner speech? Even though you declared a winner, no loser, I feel like the real winner today was our teamwork. Mark and I really came together and we gave each other our best. Despite knowing that there were stakes that one of us might win and one of us might lose,

we still tried hard for each other. And honestly, all of my points, I owe a thank you to Mark for helping me get because without his guesses, I couldn't have had them. Thank you, Mark, for being such an excellent teammate. We did it. I love that. I love that sentiment. That's nice. You're right. There are no losers today. Everybody wins except for Mark That's the end thanks so much for hanging through this episode where we magically teleported from one place to another

Changed all of our clothes in just a matter of moments and nothing Happens that needs to be explained about that at all You'll never know make sure you check out mark at markiplier wait at LordMineon777 or Minion777 me at my skirm on places check out distractablesstore.com for merch stuff and things make sure you follow the podcast because then you'll get like notifications and stuff and because we put out two episodes a week and yeah Wade's gonna host the next one can't reiterate this enough mark Mark loses, Wade wins. 5D episode, Mark declared it. I will do it.

Yeah, and Wade's gonna engage all six of your senses. All of them. That's the end of the episode. Thanks so much for listening. Podcast out.