Distractible - Five Nights at Freddy’s Tier List
Episode Date: August 28, 2023The King of FNAF himself hosts another Tier List, acting as arbiter for divvying up the "citizens" of his domain. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable.
This week, it's wholesome, subreddit-pleasing content from the get-go.
Meme master Mark returns to old turf and goes for the jump scare.
Bonsloving Bob is hot for a foxy plushie.
And Wade proposes a smash category and admits Bland Bonnie bent him over regularly.
From purses of chili to the dawn of the age of the Iplia.
Yes, it's time for Five Nights at Freddy's Tier List.
Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy
the show.
Phone, where are you?
Who's ready? Hey Siri, where's Bob's phone?
Wait a second.
Quit. Two seconds.
You pissing? You pissing? No.
Hang on. No, the episode's starting.
You can't piss. Siri couldn't find
anything belonging to Bob called phone.
We have no rules for shitting.
I feel like that's a step up from piss pants.
So if you go to piss yourself and you accidentally shit yourself too, does it cancel out or do you still win for pissing yourself?
Nah.
Well, if you piss yourself, no matter what else happens, shitting, pissing, or cumming, the piss is what matters.
Okay.
I hate it and I'm done.
Let's go.
This is a great start to the episode,
but too bad for the name of it,
probably drew a lot of people in,
and this is their first impression of it,
and it's not a good first impression.
Wait, we haven't intro'd yet.
This is in?
We're in!
He cut me off from piss-pantsing the episode,
so that has to be included now.
I thought we were allowed to be ourselves for a minute.
I'll go back to my facade.
There has to be proof that there was no piss-pantsing.
Yep. Welcome, one and all, to Distractible.
The balance has been restored.
I know all of you on the sub-edit were rebelling, frothing at the mouth even.
Shaking, crying, shitting and cumming, I think is the rest of that description.
I want to get away from the bodily functions.
How do you keep going back to that mark wait is i'm shaking and crying
right now a parallel to shitting and coming right now is that why that people say that so much a
parallel well i i can't correlate or causate those that was like the most common comment forever was
i'm shaking and crying right it was everywhere i don't i never knew why no i'm shaking and crying right now. It was everywhere. I never knew why. No, I'm shaking and crying RN.
Registered nurse?
It's because I made a bit out of it in a video.
So people probably brought it in.
It was like this game where it was a horror game where it looked like someone was streaming
and you could type in chat to make them go to the sink
or go to the toilet.
And I just kept typing, I'm shaking and crying RN.
And people really liked that.
Oh.
So you brought that upon us. That was horrible. I just got spill. I'm shaking and crying around and people really like that. Oh. So you brought that upon us.
That was horrible.
I just got spillover from your BS.
Oh, thanks, Mark.
You're welcome.
Happy to help.
If you didn't know,
this is Distractible.
Welcome to the show.
This is a show where me,
Bob, and Wade
entertain you
with our comedic geniuses.
Yay.
I swear most episodes have far less references some of them have more references
though some but very few very few normally it's very wholesome content for the fun for the whole
family you could play this in your living room at max volume and your whole household would cherish
every moment you could ride the subway with this on your speaker,
full blast, and no one... You could play this in the middle of class.
Yes, yes, yes.
All of these things and more
are what we offer at Distractible HQ,
which we are all in.
As you can see, we're in the same place.
White walls.
Door.
Door.
That's right, Bob.
Do you have a door, Wade?
Do you have a door?
Yep, door. Are you going to make Will edit a door in? I'll make it easy for right, Bob. You have a door, Wade? You have a door? You gonna make Will edit a door in?
I'll make it easy for you, Will.
Whoa, look guys, it's my door.
It's not covering all of it.
It's not, you got some on the right there.
Yeah, I know, your camera angle is apparently different
than it used to be.
Oh, it is, I moved it.
That better? No. That's still a little bit. camera angle is apparently different than it used to be oh it is i moved it oh if green doesn't cover every inch it's not gonna work out this motherfucker's got autofocus on let's go in on him about his camera settings again i i like autofocus but oh
but out of white balance. What a loser.
All right, that's good.
Yeah, but now I can't scoot into my desk.
If you have no idea what's happening and you're only listening to this,
we have video on Spotify.
Video is exclusive to Spotify
because we're cool like that.
And if you want to know what's happening,
it doesn't matter.
Wade was just moving around.
Yeah, you could infer it from the sounds.
People seem to think there's a lot of really interesting
stuff that happens on the video that
you didn't miss anything. It's okay.
Well, in this particular case, there will
be some interesting things happening on the video,
but it's also going to be entirely described
because it's very simplistic, and if
you can't follow along,
well, that's on you,
not on us. No, I don't know
who to throw that at the universe. It's okay. It's on you, not on us. It's, well, that's on you, not on us. No, I don't know who to throw that at the universe.
It's okay.
It's on you, not on us.
It's all right.
I forgive you.
So we start off this by figuring out how our lives are doing and how they are either better or worse than the last episode that was recorded.
How are your lives better and or worse?
Mine has improved dramatically because,
I don't know if you all noticed in the last episode, I was waiting for someone to point it improved dramatically because I don't know if you all noticed in the last episode
I was waiting for someone to point it out but I don't know if you guys saw
I have a
Woes t-shirt
Where did you get that?
Sir Walter Underbridge
himself, the man, the myth, the legend
Not to promote his merch
but he has merch and woe is me if i
wasn't going to have some because he sent it to my p.o box he makes um animations of our episodes
and specifically made a series of the entire bob's fridge thing that's is pretty funny i have been
sitting on another animation for distractible stand up Well, stand up. Show us. For quite some time, but I
haven't... Look at my ass. You'd better share it.
Look, people think that I've retired
for some reason because I haven't posted in like
two weeks, and I get that. It's perfectly understandable.
You retired? No, I haven't.
Breaking news, everyone!
Breaking news!
Mark retired!
Breaking news! Popular
YouTuber Markiplier!
We turned around and his career was over you know
that clip on uh tiktok it's like it's crazy the sheer number of people that see things uh around
um i think that was like like what over a million likes on something i've had videos that get over
a million likes like that's happened to me but it's like the concept of that happening as a regular occurrence
on TikTok is just like oh dude TikTok's
crazy with that I don't know if that's a good
metric or not it's different but it's
still impressive accounts that get in the
range more like tens of thousands of views
pretty regularly will still have
pretty frequent videos that get like over a million
likes depending on if they have
good like viral stuff or you know
whatever it's crazy it's crazy over there how many do we have on there zero do we have on there
no see here's my we've we've been meaning to get the distractible tiktok going up but it's one of
those things where we all go like bob you got that yeah wade you got that yeah mark you got that
no one ever says wade you got that and then And then a month later, I send an email and I'm like, was somebody working on?
Was I working on that?
And so two years into distract, three almost years into distractibles run.
We're getting that TikTok up.
We're going to have it there.
Wade, why are you shaking your head it's happening
oh it must be my desk moving i have wait you got that yeah wait you got that can't believe it wait
it's gonna make it happen here watch i'm gonna nod what i'm nodding are you raising and lowering
your are you just moving your uplift desk up and down?
that's how I nod now
that's not what nodding is
it's less effort than nodding so I do it now
is it really?
if your hand's already on the button
anyway more small talk
anybody want to participate in a little more
before we get on to the main topic?
sure I've given it my all today
I live in Cincinnati now
and I have eaten skyline four times since I got here two weeks ago.
Your woes are over, Bob.
It's not good.
It's not good.
Wade's cheering about...
I wasn't sure why Wade was cheering.
I was like, oh yeah, Cincinnati.
It's not good for your health to eat that much Skyline, and I need to move on.
Well, actually, what I discovered, and we talked about this before,
is that Skyline Chili has a rather large amount of protein.
It still has a lot of other, it's lacking in micronutrients, of course.
It's greasy is the main thing for me, but go on.
It's greasy, but it has a pretty high amount of protein.
And what I've been finding, and what I think a lot of people are finding,
I can't quote research right now, and I'm probably speaking out of my ass and i don't like to do
this but look at my ass anyway look at his ass here you know there is like a more amount of
protein in that and protein is actually one of the things that a lot of people miss out on the most
in life and it just makes perfect logical sense that if you don't have enough protein your body
isn't able to rebuild itself as efficiently and it's just eventually starts breaking down sooner and that just like
one of the biggest detriments of nutritional deficiencies is actually lacking enough protein
for your body weight it's not just about like if you're a bodybuilder trying to like get a certain
grams it's like the recommended dosage was always like 50 grams for everyone on a 2000 calorie diet
it's like,
it's, it should be closer to a hundred. And if you're under a hundred, your body just doesn't
have the amino acid pool. And especially because there are amino acids, essential amino acids
that in certain foods are not provided. That's why you have to be very careful and very, uh,
particular if you're on say a vegan or a vegetarian diet, because you have to make sure
that you're getting all of the essential amino acids, because if you're missing, say, a vegan or a vegetarian diet, because you have to make sure that you're getting all of the essential amino acids.
Because if you're missing in any of them, then you're basically missing in all of them.
Because if you don't have the entire profile of essentials that your body cannot synthesize,
it's not able to rebuild itself properly because all of those are needed for certain functions
in the body.
Me too.
In layman's terms, meat good, skyline great.
Also, the hot dog
and bun and cheese that come with it
probably are not as... Hot dog was meat
once, probably. I mean, it is meat.
It's coagulated
emulsified meat slurry
cooked in
juice. In juice.
Fruit that comes in cups
in juice instead of in syrup is like the healthier kind
of fruit so i assume that meat that comes coagulated coagulated and emulsified in juice
is like the good kind of meat we need meat cups pudding fruit meat cups they they do vienna
sausages like little oh yeah cups yeah or like spam comes in a little can. Yeah, Spam's great. Love Spam.
Dude, Spam is surprisingly good.
I never had it as a kid, and the first time I got it, I was kind of like,
well, it's like Musubi.
I've had Musubi, and I was like, oh, okay, I'll see if I can cook it.
It's surprisingly good.
It gets so crispy.
You want to know my recipe for a quick fix?
It actually involves Skyline Chili, because you can buy it at the store.
Even out here in California, you can buy it at Ralph's because Ralph is owned by Kroger's and Kroger's.
Much like many Cincinnati companies, there's a mega conglomerate that owns a lot of things.
There are a lot of companies that own everything that are based out of Cincinnati.
That's fine.
That's fine.
That's fine.
Why do you think I'm here?
Yeah, Procter & Gamble basically owns every single pharmacy product that you could ever imagine.
You could live your entire life only buying things that procter and gamble owns or
manufactures probably wouldn't be good unless we're sponsored by them then absolutely give me
that it's probably fine um but yeah so my recipe is you get uh some instant mashed potatoes it
could be whatever plain or like garlic and whatever whatever you boil your
water for that you pop a can of chili in a saucepan for the stove and then you shred up some
cheese or you get some pre-shredded cheese and then you take your spam fry that bad boy dice it
into cubes you get the mashed potatoes on the bottom you mix the spam in with the skyline put
the skyline on top of your mashed potatoes and then sprinkle cheese on it it seems like mashed potatoes is kind of like your substitute for spaghetti
and then the spam is like having the hot dog from the coney so you have the best of all worlds in
one that sounds good i actually feel like that would be i i don't so i think three ways which
is spaghetti with chili on top and cheese and whatever i think they're really hard to eat i
like the flavor they They're messy.
But I find them really messy and I find that annoying.
All off your fork?
Yeah.
Mashed potatoes is such a better vehicle for that.
That's an interesting upgrade.
You don't need to add any seasoning
because everything is already extremely salted
and very flavorful.
Oh, so salty.
Oh, yeah.
I will throw this out there too.
I don't know if they're still doing it,
but Skyline and Gold Star, at the very least,
they did have a loaded potato, which was a potato with chili and cheese in it, which is basically that same idea.
But yeah, mashed potatoes, Skyline, chili, you shred cheese and then shred Spam
and then mix like an egg into it
and make like a cheese and Spam pancake.
Oh, I thought you were going omelet.
No, well, it's like a protein pancake, right?
It's like a hash brown almost,
but it would get so crispy with the Spam.
You could do it.
You could put eggs in it,
but if you shred Spam and then like mix it.
You could shred potatoes, then then cheese oh all in one hash brown pancakes spam make it an omelet and have all that
stuff and have the skyline also yeah what you do is you make that you make two patties of that and
then you just like fry an egg and have an egg sandwich where the bun is hash brown spam cheese buns where's the chili you dip the whole thing in
a purse filled with chili and then you just drink the purse like it's a boot of beer
dude what i would not give to be walking around cincinnati and see somebody like eating a sandwich
open their purse and dip it in and come back out covered in chili.
I changed it a little bit.
That's such a ripoff.
Did you ever see that SNL sketch where it's like a Taco Bell type thing?
And they're like, we take an enchilada and we put it in a taco shell.
And then we wrap that in a burrito.
But it keeps escalating.
And it gets to the point where it's like, and we wrap that in a whole large pizza.
And then we dunk that into a grocery bag full of chili no i did not see that one but of all the things you could have said a purse was like so i i mean it's perfect right you want you
need a little structure chili is very liquidy you need a little bit you need like one of those
purses that's kind of like rectangular but closes on top. It had better sit flat because if that thing rolls on its side...
Yeah, no, you need a structure.
A grocery bag of chili is just a mess.
That's not useful for anything.
Someone going to get their credit card
and they reach in, pull out their wallet,
it's dripping with chili, and they hand you the card.
I don't think it's supposed to be the same purse that you use.
Oh, no.
I think you need to have one personal effects purse and one chili purse.
One purse.
What about a fanny pack?
Maybe there's two pouches.
Would a chili fanny work?
You know how some purses have a center pouch that's like a zipper?
That's the waterproof part where all your stuff is in there,
but it's surrounded
by chili so you have to very carefully like zip and then get in but you don't want to slosh it
too much or the chili will get into the part where the chili is just an open container the chili is
just in there yeah yeah since your your valuable is floating on top obviously this is fantastic
what if you actually take your purse on a roller coaster oh never mind the imagery is not good no the cent centripetal force of the coaster pushing you down into your seat
it would keep the chili down in the purse as well it'd be totally when you go up and you reach the
peak where you like lift you have to like whip the purse around you you're responsible for the
zero gravity moments it's like the jigsaw roller coaster of chili punishment i love the idea
of this outlines warning sign you know your stick figures and there's just one with a purse upside
down raining chili and a big cross through it just like we are not responsible for any
chili mishaps that you know what that is a a thing they would sell at, like, Kings Island. You go to Kings Island, and you get your slushie in a cup shaped like the Eiffel Tower,
and you get your chili in a big purse.
You got your Eiffel Tower slushie and your chili bag.
God, I want us to sell a shirt that is the stick figure with a purse above it,
shit raining down, and a big cross red circle with a line.
No one would know it was chili. They'd think it was shit.
That's what I want.
So one of those is the upright and the purse
is upside down and the cell next to it, the person
is upside down and the chili purse is right
side up and just an X in
the one where the chili is upside down because that's
not what you want to do.
But you want the chili in the
other one. You want to keep the chili right side.
Yeah, no.
Of course.
The instruction's completely clear.
Thank you.
Good.
All right, look for that at store.distractablepodcast.com.
Coming at you real soon.
Don't worry.
It's on the way, just like all the other things.
If it's not there when you look, it's because you either missed it or it's not there yet.
Either one.
Who knows?
Who knows?
You're too early late. You weren't right on time life's a mystery i think the real winner
today was cincinnati cincinnati winner speech is it over no we're on to the real episode now
and this is why i kept saying that everyone's here and checking out this podcast and that's
why we brought our a game probably pretty good Purse is pretty good. Speaking of A
game, we're doing a tier list!
Oh, yay!
Everyone, especially the subreddit,
always loves tier lists. Well, they're gonna
love this one because this is the
Five Nights at Freddy's
tier list!
I don't know very much about that game. Do I need to
know? You don't have to! People that played
the games don't know much about it either, Bob.
I only know the four main characters from the first game, really.
And beyond that, I don't know who any of these people are.
Well, look, it's okay because we've got all...
Holy shit, that's a lot.
There's Balloon Boy.
Balloon Boy who smoked pot.
What the fuck?
What is the... Wait, wait, wait. is the the wait wait wait it just looped
sorry it looped i was gonna say hang on a second those look the same some of those look exactly
the same and uh it's okay okay so up to here this is all apparently uh i i'm not gonna count this
someone can count if they really want but it's probably close to 50 i guess is there a criteria
for how we rank it or can we just rank it based on looking at this well we could do it a few different ways it's like some
of us know for those that we don't know we'll kind of just make a gut decision on appearances only
we're going to judge these books by their cover but the other ones will like try to rank uh we'll
do it round robin style i'll assign a point structure to each letter so it's like no i don't
know how did we do it before we've done so many of these but i've So it's like No I don't know
How did we do it before?
We've done so many of these
But I've never run one
So I don't know how you guys scored points
We've never done it the same way
I don't know
We didn't
We've never followed a good structure
Yeah I hope you're ready to add about 6 more tiers to your tier list
I already know there's the I'd fuck it tier
I don't think that's tier.
It's called smash tier.
Oh.
Yeah.
I've also taken E out because I always think that like there's no in grades like in school
you don't have E grade and I think that's strange.
I was an S tier student in school.
I would agree.
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Anyway, we're
going to try to go through this quickly because there's a lot
and we never get through these very quickly, so we're
going to start off with, obviously,
Freddie. Now, who's
got a coin to flip? Who
goes first? This is not determining the winner.
This is not determining the winner.
This is not determining the winner. Triangle of Fairness
is not determining the winner. You know what I have?
You have a lens cap? I have a lens cap.
Oh, nice. Lens cap's
way superior. Nah, yeah. I go with Bob's
lens cap. Bob, if it...
You call it. Sony side is
heads. Okay.
It landed like this.
That's tails, I guess.
Did you call it?
No, no, no.
All right.
I call tails.
I win.
Hang on.
I'm doing everything here.
Heads.
It landed tails again.
That's tails side.
All right, Wade.
You go first, so you get Freddy.
All right.
My inclination is to give him A tier but he the entire franchise is based on him he's the most recognizable figure
from the entire game series he's got to be s probably because of that though personally i
feel like he's an a okay you feel like he's just an a i get your re-sting why because it's like
for all the animatronics he's kind of been he may be the face but he's kind of the least impressive to me he's not that interesting to me but he is the one that's like
the driving force he's the star of the show i feel like that's got to give him some bonus points so
he is the chucky cheese of the show high a low s high a god don't get me into high a's here because
i'll put a plus can we get an a plus S minus added in there? Not yet.
Okay. He's like
high A plus to mid A plus.
Alright. Bob, counterpoint.
I mean, he has got to be
S, right? It's literally
Five Nights at His Place.
I know that as a character in the game
not that interesting maybe,
but if there is a face of the
franchise, there's about 90,000
characters that I see on the list below so maybe he's not the face face but if there is a face
it's his face isn't it isn't that the face that's the face on the movie poster that's the face that
play that that sneaks up on you like that he's the face is the face here's what I'll say to
Wade's credit and what I might give him the point for here is Mickey Mouse is technically the mascot of Disney.
I would not rank Mickey as an S-tier Disney character.
So I'll just say that.
And that's why I'm like, I kind of agree with A+.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
All right, A+.
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
Okay.
We're going off the...
Wait, no.
Oops.
He called it.
He's new. He's new. Okay. I like it. Okay. We're going off the... Wait, no. Oops. He's new.
He's new.
Okay.
I like it.
New.
The original character.
New.
I agree.
New A.
I can't...
New A.
Well, New A is clearly above Old A, so...
Have you tried Backspace?
Old A goes below A.
We're doing this tier list like the Five Nights at Freddy's lore.
We're just adding it in wherever it goes.
The new A.
Welcome to the new A.
New A.
I like it.
I hate it.
God.
All right.
Anyway, so I'll give Wade the point for that one.
So that's one for Wade.
Bob, what do you think about bonnie bonnie i like bonnie bonnie's a cool color bonnie's bonnie's a classic i would say
solid b tier b for bonnie good reliable classic character good jump scares nothing too crazy but like but deserves to be above a c serves a solid
b tier above c i i could get behind that i could get behind that uh wait any counterpoints yeah
bonnie is personally responsible for about 90 of my misery when i played the games way back when i
fucking hated bonnie bonnie killed me more than any other animatronic i'm pretty sure by a wide
margin fuck bonnie bonnie gets d tier just because of what bonnie personally did to me to offend me Bonnie killed me more than any other animatronic, I'm pretty sure, by a wide margin. Fuck Bonnie.
Bonnie gets D tier just because of what Bonnie personally did to me to offend me.
On an unbiased level, Bonnie's a rabbit in average.
And at best, I would give Bonnie probably a C.
I don't know that anything interesting has come of Bonnie. There's nothing really to hate, nothing really to love.
I feel like Bonnie's overlooked among the other animatronics.
Everyone sexualized Chica.
Foxy gets a lot of attention for its uniqueness am i wrong i i uh freddy's the name of the thing
bonnie's just there bonnie's okay i'm gonna shut way down before it goes too off the rails i'm
gonna put him at b um just because i kind of agree i there's some lore stuff behind it but
i've never been too deep in the lore for as much as I'm like the face of Five Nights at Freddy's.
Not obviously the face of Five Nights at Freddy's, but I'm like the FNAF guy.
I don't know a lot about the lore, everything I've gleaned.
And Bonnie, there are some interesting implications, but I do think he's above average.
If C is average, then above average.
I think that I'm going to give Bob the point for this one just because.
Oh, yeah.
I kind of agree.
Nothing too crazy. Very standard. Reliable was like, yeah, this was the first day. I think that I'm going to give Bob the point for this one just because I kind of agree.
Nothing too crazy.
Very standard.
Reliable was like, yeah, this was the first animatronic that could kill you in the first game, I think.
And therefore, it's hard to say.
Okay.
Back to Wade.
Chica.
That's another hard one.
So I never understood all of the weird fan art, fan fiction stuff with Chica.
What were you looking at? Literally in the second game game they like pretty chica up to make it like different that's a
different one we're not talking about that chica right people were doing it i don't know people
were doing it chica to me it's pretty close to bonnie if you i was gonna put chica b bonnie c
i'll stick chica also in b i feel like didn't really wasn't really that interesting to me it's a chicken
it attacks you it's cool
has a bib a little birthday I mean you know what
I'll give Chica
a higher B than Bonnie for this fake
cupcake
do that man I can't
so further left could it be higher
you're right
you're right okay so the cupcake
pushes it over the edge you want to put Chica above Bonnie I i want to put everything above bonnie because bonnie pisses me
off but the cupcake is cool fuck the bird but the cupcake's cool i i feel like that's that's
ellie chica short chica chica passes the vibe check okay chica has the cupcake chica's got
the fun bib that says let's eat on it i. I love that. Chica will kill you.
And I definitely experienced that.
I played the first two games, the only games I've really played.
So like, yeah, a little scary.
But something about Chica is like, I guess Chica is one of the characters to me from
the original cast that stands out a little bit where it's like, ah, interesting.
If I was going to have a plushie, I would probably either have that one or maybe the one that we haven't talked about from the first game yet.
But I would put it A, A tier.
You'd put it A?
Vibe check, immaculate, uniqueness, much higher than Bonnie's.
Very interesting character.
All right.
I wouldn't necessarily want to put it.
If Chica was at A and Bonnie was at B b i would feel like that would be unfair so i do
lean more towards wade however wade i'm gonna make a little tweak to yours i'm gonna do this
because of a personal pet peeve of mine if this list was like this bonnie comes in on the left
side of the office chica comes from the right side you're moving chica uh down to the right
down yes yeah okay exactly in b so i can't give Bob the point for that because it was still Wade's suggestion.
I'm going to give Wade.
I'm going to give you half a point.
I'll give you half a point.
Hey, I take Hiav's.
All right.
Okay.
We got Foxy.
Bob, you're up.
I like Foxy.
I think Foxy is interesting.
I didn't get into the game enough to fully understand the mechanic of Foxy,
but I do know that that noise always scared me the most.
And I would put Foxy solidly in A as well.
This is, I guess one of my criteria is if I was going to have like a plushie or something or a sticker,
Foxy is one of the ones that I would like to have.
Because like Freddy, eh, too obvious, a little passe.
Bonnie, I like like it not so
interesting foxy very interesting interesting character cool look got the pirate thing going on
love it hey okay wade s foxy to me is one of the only s's from what i remember playing the game
it's the first different character he's got a different design he's got the eye patch
he's got his own little like nook and cranny and the first few nights when you're playing it for the first time you have no idea what's going on
then all of a sudden he starts to emerge and he's the most terrifying one whenever he's running at
you the noise he makes like the stomping is terrifying i think he looks really cool with
the pirate aesthetic i think he's the most memorable character if you didn't like look
at the cover and see five nights at freddy's as the name if you just played it the one you come
out remembering is foxy from the first one.
As well as I use his sound effect on
Twitch for scare alerts and he makes me a lot
of money. So S tier for that.
But S tier for the fact
that, I don't know, I feel like he's
the scary force in the first game because he's
the random thing you have
to monitor that's different than the rest. You're not just
looking at the cameras. You have to go and
I forget what the mechanic is to get him to close his tent back up just stare at it or something but
it was it was debated whether it was like looking at his camera or the cameras at all and i think
the answer was look at the cameras period yeah you didn't even have to look at his thing uh but
yeah it is he's asked here to me okay so i was gonna like say a disclaimer being like we need
to think about this in terms of the entire franchise,
but Wade did make a lot of really good points there.
There was something special, if you're thinking about it,
in the total franchise for the first game even applying to that.
That was something special about Foxy.
Bob, do you have anything to defend your point?
Because I'm compelled. I'm compelled.
I do think A is a fair ranking, but S, I could see it.
I guess I would say I thought about S, but the original cast is just like, I don't think
that they represent the peak of the games in terms of the characters and the level of
interest.
So yes, I could see Foxy on New Way maybe with Freddy in terms of like face of the franchise
level character quality.
But I was reserving s because i feel like there
are other characters that are way crazier and get way way wilder and scarier and more interesting
in the subsequent stuff i will counter with if i can keep it quick all of the other mechanics
from other games that are different i feel like are based on foxy's different mechanic they expound upon it sure
they change it up as it goes along and they have other things that happen but like the idea of
having several characters do one thing and like one or two characters do something weird still
comes back to the foundation foxy laid by being the one character that threw you off your game
like three nights in and all of a sudden there's something else to worry about. That idea was founded with him.
Not his fault he came first.
Man, I don't know who I'm convinced more by.
Because it's like, yeah, I kind of do want to put Foxy above Freddy even. Because I do feel like Foxy is just...
S is for special.
A is a great ranking.
S is for special.
And I think, I really think like there's something special
about what foxy brought to that first game more than what freddy even brought but that being said
is it enough for an s i don't know i would say s is for superior and i don't know if superior is as
applicable as specialist that's that's true i guess that you're right about that foxy is special
but i don't know if i would say foxy is superior i don't know if i'll agree looking at the list i'm not sure i'll see anything
that i really want to rank ahead there's maybe one other s thing i can think on the top of my head
yeah we'll get there we'll get there but i i feel like it's a disservice to say he's not
i feel like you're overlooking bingo the murder clown but we'll get to it
and i gotta look at the list i gotta remember what's here i'm like what is and to be fair i've not
played all of the newer games either so maybe someone jumps out but from what i played nothing
quite recaptured the original foxy feel i think i played the first four games
man this is tough i didn't think i'd be this split about it i really do think foxy in his implementation was special but it was one note
like let's let's be honest it wasn't that deep it was very compelling better than bonnie and chicas
but i don't think quite s i'm gonna leave it a day and i'm gonna give the bob the point on that one
because i could see the argument but it's just like is he really he's doing a lot and he was very fun which made
him more special than bonnie and chica but in the end he didn't really do much much more than them
whereas like freddy was the finisher so new a is good for freddy i think a i think fox foxy should
be proud of a above bonnie and chica for sure a is good a is good a is good i hope i'm on the a
list for distractible whenever we do that
to your list distractible host tier lists coming soon man that'll be a long debated episode all
right wade you get golden freddy though i mean i can't i don't know that i can put golden freddy
above foxy however i mean it depends how you look at it golden freddy mystery wise lore wise is probably
up there in s because like golden freddy was the first thing it's like what is golden freddy who
is golden freddy why what does that mean does it mean anything like that was one of the first huge
mysteries i remember people trying to debate was what is golden freddy but like does golden freddy
ever do anything in any of the games i don't know the answer to that it's a legitimate question
other than just like you can maybe see him in one of them or something where did you put
him gut reaction eight okay bob f tier well unless unless there's something that i'm unaware of which
i'm not an expert golden freddy set the standard for me on the bullshit about this franchise that i think is
annoying that's fair where there's all this stuff where it's like oh what is he oh what's the lore
and the answer is i don't know he's fucking he's golden and he shows up sometimes and you can do
this to see him maybe but like it's he's not an integral it sets this this precedent where it's
like oh it's a mystery it must be interesting and where it's like, ooh, it's a mystery.
It must be interesting.
And then it's like, oh, actually, well, no. There was no...
It was just a random choice that that was in.
But we're going to retcon that
to be something really interesting later
so that it has a point.
But it didn't.
It didn't have a point.
It's just random bullshit for Scott Cawthorn to be like,
it's a mystery.
Ooh, look at the lore. What are those pixels in that one shot mean i will say i i don't think f is fair because if we're looking at
just the first game and obviously we're looking at the greater thing yes it was that first thing
that led into the whole look at the lore. But I can forgive it this first iteration.
I don't know if this is the only iteration of Golden Freddy on this list, but I could forgive the first iteration just because Scott probably didn't imagine that this would ever expand.
That's true.
It was the one thing that it was like it made people dig deeper and then realized that there were a lot of hidden details in the environment.
And I was a huge fan of environmental storytelling in gaming.
And I do think like it did a great example of show, not tell.
But also this was a great example of like leading people to be like, hey, you're not paying attention to all this other stuff here.
And I like rare events in games.
I think that makes the experience very special.
I think that F is unfair.
I do think that makes the experience very special i think that f is unfair i i do think that uh so i'm fine with a because it is true that there's there was a whole lot of nothing that
i know of and i haven't looked very deep but if there was a compelling answer i feel like we would
all know and be like oh my god that was amazing yes that answered all that's so great that paid
off this thing and that would put it in S tier, but it didn't.
And it doesn't.
So I think Golden Freddy sits right at A.
Yeah.
So Wade gets a point for that.
Yay.
And before every Five Nights at Freddy Absolute Fanatic is in the comments like,
Actually, actually, you're always the or if you play this.
Sorry, we're not.
Well, there are no comments here. They have to go to the subreddit for that. Oh, they'll be there. If you play this. Sorry, we're not. Well, there are no comments here.
They have to go to the subreddit for that.
Oh, they'll be there.
They'll be there.
But the thing is, if there was a cohesive, comprehensive, simple answer that made us all go like, oh, we don't know it.
Everyone would know it because everyone would be like, that makes so much sense.
But it's not there.
So anyway, who was that?
My turn?
Yeah, Bob, phone guy.
Anyway, who was that?
My turn?
Yeah, Bob, phone guy.
So this is the phone recording that plays that tells you that you're working security at night at Freddy Fazbear's.
I'm assuming specifically the first one because I think the first one's a phone.
Then there's like recording tapes afterwards.
I'm assuming this is the first one.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But phone guy. I feel like phone Guy, I would put in S.
I feel like this represents something
about the franchise that's very minor.
It's not a core part of all the lore
about all the animatronics
and whatever shit happened.
Again, I don't know, maybe,
but Phone Guy is one of the things
where if you were mimicking this game,
if you're making a reference to this game
or franchise,
Phone Guy is one of the things that you might reference.
How many times have people been like,
Hello? Hello?
And it's like, that's a reference to the Phone Guy.
That's what you're referencing.
It's maybe not an iconic thing in the character itself,
but it's a part of the game that's very memorable, referenceable, memeable.
That's a part of the game that's very like memorable referenceable memeable that's a good point that it is maybe more even than freddy himself might be core to the franchise is like
this idea of like this narrator that gives you story and gets you into it but also is a character
in the universe yeah no i i you know i'm not mad at this. Wade, are you mad at this? Slightly. I think, hello, hello, is S.
I think everything he says afterward
and the fact that whenever you die
and you have to re-listen to each message each night
is grating sometimes.
I think later games they allowed you to skip,
but the first game, don't you have to hear them talk
every time you die?
Or didn't you originally?
No.
Am I remembering that wrong?
Is that really not a thing?
Can't you just click on the phone?
You could always mute it.
It was a mute call.
I was going to be harsher because I thought you had to hear it.
Wade's mad because Wade's a dummy.
I've not played in a long time.
To be fair.
I can put Wade down here.
I'm going to be repetitive. I can live with A tier.
If Foxy is, I can't put Foxy below Phone Guy.
If Foxy was S tier, I could maybe listen to an argument
of them being on a similar level because of things you think of
when you think of the game.
I think Freddy, Foxy, the phone wasn't something I originally thought of,
but the hello, hello that that bit alone is.
It's very memeable.
I could give it A tier.
I don't think the rest of what Phone guy has to say we're taking two very
specific words out of a million it's too late I gave Bob
the point here it goes S tier
and need I remind you when we
finish this tier list all of us
all of us endorse this list
this is the distractible kissed
endorsed list you gotta bump Foxy up
I will petition the rest of the time no no no
maybe we can talk about that later we'll talk about it later but for now phone guy phone Foxy up. I will petition the rest of the time. No, no, no. Well, maybe we can talk about that later.
We'll talk about it later, but for now, phone
guy above Foxy. Where'd I sit alone?
We're not gonna talk about that. Do you think we have time for that?
And Freddy, too. Phone guy
above Freddy. I mean, even Freddy has the
music that plays on the death.
The
like, the one that plays whenever he comes to kill you.
That's as memorable as Hello, Hello.
Yeah, look. That's why he's in
New A. He's in a tier of his own. he's his name is on the game and you've got phone guy
ahead of him i can't yeah i can't put phone guy in uh hello hello wait here's your chance you got
freddy which freddy is this is this five nights two freddy five nights two toy freddy i care less
about him than i care about regular fred A lot of the FNAF 2 things,
there's a couple of FNAF 2 things that are cool.
Freddy's not one of them.
He's C tier.
He's as average as it gets.
C tier.
Bam.
All right.
Bob, any counterpoints?
I mean, it's still his game.
It's still his pizza joint.
I agree.
He's not like super special,
but I think...
Whoever talks about FNAF 2 freddy if he stands
out at all he stands out above his peers in his game he probably belongs at b and the rest of his
peers probably belong in c unless we've got some other arguments coming the thing is i don't even
think he is the tier in his own game because there's withered freddie from two wow yeah no so i i think i'm gonna give wade the
point on that one just because yeah i don't remember a single thing that's a pretty accurate
pick i think yeah i think that's a good solid pick he's it's still freddie but man that's
that's the least of all the freddies as far as i know he's a minor frederick he's very
he's frederick jr really i don't even think he looks cute scary he's just the epitome of like
forgettable yeah exactly forgettable and and when they all get together everyone calls him fred
yeah honestly i kind of want to knock him down to d now just because he really is yeah listen i'm i'm
still gonna give you the point wade but i'm knocking him to d i'm fine i i would not argue
with d i was the only reason i had him in C at all was his name is Freddy.
He's a disgrace to Freddy's.
I would put him in F, but that would get him closer to Freddy again.
So we need to keep him in D.
D for don't you dare.
All right.
Bob, Toy Bonnie.
This is another one. I feel like Five Nights 2 was popular, but I don't remember Bonnie don't remember body from five nights to be very much of
anything at least toy body and like see like the one thing i will say is i think toy body looks
better i like more appealing and kind of scarier because it's cuter than original bon. So like maybe a C.
C. Okay. C.
There's just not that much
interesting about Toy Bonnie. It's okay.
Alright. It's a cute background
character in a picture. Alright.
C. Wade. I agree.
I know I'm going second here and it's not like I'm just
agreeing to agree but like
I don't think he's above average.
I think he's better than Freddyreddy we have freddy and
d that leaves c all right that's fair enough bob you get the point but we're all in agreement here
uh wait i'll give you some extra credit that is not points for agreeing with bob
but it's not points oh yeah all right uh wade you got Toy Chica. Okay.
One head says S.
Rational head says probably...
I think I know why you were saying that all the fan art was... There was a lot of fan art of this particular Chica.
And it's definitely better than the Bonnie.
Is it better than the original bonnie and chica
because of the fan art and the weird ass fucking part of the fandom it brought out it should
probably be f but also a f for
uh let's go b for bang
all right bob um s for smash All right. Bob? S for Smash.
Not only does this character model inspire a ton of fan art,
both lewd and non-lewd varieties,
there's something about the, like, black, glossy eyes.
It's a chicken, but there's no beak. There's, like, a human-ish, smiley mouth situation.
It's like an alien nightmare,
like come see you in your dreams, chicken.
I find it very off-putting and also very hot.
S for smash.
You're at Fox season A.
You know, I don't...
I cannot in good faith
even think about this tier list above A
because of Foxy being so low.
It's affecting my ability to think.
You know, there's been very few steals on this, and I wasn't going to really entail this,
but, man, you can't deny the lewd side of the fandom that has spawned out of Five Nights at Freddy's.
It really woke up some people, and it changed the dynamic of the whole Five Nights.
I said B for Ben.
Yeah, you did.
Listen, man, I don't want to endorse i have a compromise okay compromise what's the compromise yeah toy toy chica goes
in s foxy gets promoted to s wade doesn't get any points for it wait would you be willing to
take that compromise foxy would be bumped up to S below, above, above Toy Chica.
Yes, I'll take it.
I was going to propose moving them up anyway without any point amalgamation.
So, yes, as long as Foxy's up in S, I can live with Chica being up there.
Then you could feel good about it, and I can still get the point I deserve.
Yeah, I'm only netting Bob one point.
Okay.
Because also, like, this is taking away from your thing, Wade, here. You put B. So he would technically get the point. I'm only netting him one point because also this is taking away from your thing, Wade, here.
You put B, so he would technically point. I'm only
netting him one point for this move, but
you get what you want. So Foxy's been
promoted to S. Foxy came before Phone Guy.
Can you just move Foxy to the left one? Nope.
That was not part of the deal. This is the correct order.
We all endorse it. We all endorse this, and Bob
gets one point out of this exchange,
which, man, he really swept on this deal. Did he lose
a point for Foxy being S tier?
Nope.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yep.
Did he?
Bob, did you say yes?
He said yes.
Did you say can he or did he?
Because I lost the Foxy argument.
But you stole a point for winning this one,
so I'm netting you one.
Okay, yeah.
That's fine.
That's fine.
Yeah.
All right.
Who's up?
I have no idea.
I think it's Bob.
All right, Bob.
We got Mangle. Mangle is a mouse. yeah all right who's up i have no idea i think it's bob all right bob we got uh mangle mangle
is a mouse uh no it's a it's a it's a version of foxy it's a version of foxy oh wait i remember
mangle oh mangle's scary i don't like mangle mangle is big scary mangle is the foxy of fnaf
too just i would put mangle in a just for quality like i don't remember the character
lore wise as a character for any specific reason but i remember the the level of fear that it
induced good solid scary character good good member of the cast a okay above below uh below
golden nefaria is okay good okay cool all right a i. A, I can see that. Wade? I think A, I think Toy Chica and Mangle
are the two most memorable characters from two.
I think Mangle is definitely the scarier one.
Again, I like the unique things that the games offer.
Foxy was unique in one.
Mangle was unique in two.
I think Mangle also has a lot of mystery and lore.
So if we put Golden Freddy up there for mystery and lore,
but added that it's actually a character
that can hurt you and scare you, I would saygle is actually above golden freddy in that aspect
however golden freddy is more iconic so i'm not gonna be too picky about that i think a is fair
okay i i think that yeah a is fair this is fair we're in agreements here um but i'm not gonna
give you half a point wade because i forget why exactly i gave you half a point before i'm not gonna do it apparently whoever goes first if the next person agrees
with them they're just fucked yeah well you have to i'm learning you have to just disagree
hilariously wade that's how you don't have to you don't have to it's this is you know it's low
stakes here it's low stakes it's not everything uh all right balloon boy okay I get the not high version of Balloon Boy Balloon Boy is fine
I remember hearing the hello
but like
I never really cared too much
about Balloon Boy like the lore of Balloon Boy
or whatever else maybe that's different for other people
I think Balloon Boy is right about
where Toy Bonnie was
C maybe B because of the new mechanic
I'm feeling a B or a C
I'm not strong on either one of those,
but I'm feeling somewhere in there feels right to me
for Balloon Boy because I just didn't
care. Balloon Boy caused some stress
if I remember right, but like...
Plant your flag. B for Balloon.
B for Balloon. Bob?
More interesting than Toy Bonnie,
so B is good. Yeah, I kind of agree,
I guess, which is lame.
By which I mean
there's a better version
of this character, so
this should be C.
Looking forward to what's coming next,
this belongs in C because the other version
belongs above it, but not
higher than B.
I don't remember there being a second version.
You're both wrong. F. I don't
care. Balloon Boy sucks.
Nothing great about it.
No one gets any points.
I was closer to F.
No, I was closer to F.
No one gets any points.
Only semantically.
For either of you daring to put Balloon Boy above F in any capacity, I give no points.
Zero points.
Can I be honest?
That character makes me think of Ocean's Eleven and the scene where they're in the casino
and the two brothers from Utah start a fake fight.
One of them's trying to deliver balloons and he bumps into the other guy and he's all, oh, look at this balloon boy.
Where are you going, balloon boy?
That's all I think of.
And that's why I thought that's why I like it.
All right.
Interesting.
I don't remember that, but all right.
We got Balloon Girl.
Oh, is that the difference?
I didn't even know that this was a real character.
I thought this was a joke.
Balloon Girl is not Balloon Boy?
No.
I thought it was just like Balloon Boy after some pot.
No, I thought that this was a lie.
I thought that this was just like someone took Balloon Boy's picture, recolored it,
just like shifted the hue and dropped it down below to make it seem like,
ooh, there's another secret character in in five nights phrase two of all the games five nights at freddy's true
Two had so many actual secrets in it that no one knew what was true
One of the characters coming up is actually like was never really confirmed to actually exist until people dug into the files and be like
Oh fuck. That's actually a real thing. What is going on here? So balloon girl. Where does balloon girl go?
Sorry, I preemptively put girl in f i agree with mark balloon girl belongs
with her boyfriend in f brother boyfriend probably brother i guess they kind of look
probably same thing weirdos yeah in f tier for fake yeah wait D tier because it's more interesting than Balloon Boy
and didn't annoy the shit out of me while I played the game.
I'll take it.
I'll get that.
That's exactly what I was going to say.
Wade gets a point for a steal there.
Yeah, because literally, like, I've never encountered Balloon Girl,
so I have no idea.
I think Balloon Girl actually did appear in, like, Ultimate Custom Night,
but whatever. I'd say, like, I want Balloon Girl actually did appear in Ultimate Custom Night, but whatever.
I'd say I want Balloon Boy to suffer in hell down here alone.
All right, who's up next?
My first now, I think.
Wait, yeah.
Puppet!
I know we're not doing ranks of B tier, but high B tier.
I think Puppet's just below Mangle for interest from FNAF 2.
I think Puppet was fnaf 2
like here i think it's cool it was creepy it was scary but i think i remember mangle more than i
remember puppet in the long run like i see the puppet it's like oh yeah but i think of mangle
more so i can't put it above mangle so high b above bonnie okay puppet goes in c tier it stands
out and the design doesn't make any sense if you compare the look of
the character to the rest of the game it just like it felt like it was a slapped in thing like
not it doesn't jive with the rest of the look of the game it just feels weird it feels out of place
it is spooky but like it's not as clearly not as integrated into the whole image of the game that like scott
was intending to create the whole vibe it just doesn't doesn't work for me see i totally get
what you're saying because this is not an animatronic like i understand like completely
what you're going for because i would agree that it's not in it's not it felt like something
outside of it even the toy things were like still animatronics but this is like being a puppet it's not it felt like something outside of it even the toy things were like still animatronics
but this is like being a puppet it's like it just feels like a sock puppet and its mechanic i found
to be annoying however i still am going to keep it in b because man great thumbnail great thumbnail
wow okay great asset for a thumbnail okay yeah it is a great thumbnail. It's more memorable than Toy Bonnie, too.
It's gotta be about Toy Bonnie.
Okay, we got Freddy from 2.
Is this just normal Freddy from 2?
Normal Freddy from 2.
I think all normal Freddies belong in New A.
Alright.
I think that's basically Freddy tier.
Again, this one does not stand out as a character in the game itself for me, as far as I remember.
But now he's got the top hat. Again, this one does not stand out as a character in the game itself for me, as far as I remember.
But now he's got the top hat.
He's still the guy.
It's Freddy's game.
We're living in Freddy's world.
So Freddy goes in new way tier.
I agree with this completely because design wise, sick.
This is where FNAF 2 Scott's animatronic design peaked, I think, personally.
This right here.
I also do feel like that's the iconic freddy for me yeah it the with the with the the hat and the look of the
five nights two freddy is like the one i imagine when i'm trying to think of what he looks like
yeah it just like he nailed everything about about the unsettlingness of it the uncanniness
of it this one looks too much like a 3d animation this looks like a real fucking uh animatronic i
think this is great he really nailed this one uh might be peak freddy in my opinion uh all right
wade counterpoint you have any counterpoint do i get one if you already know you don't all right
you get withered body i was so right you don't even get it i'm not even gonna be swayed i'm not
gonna be wither bonnie among i don't know these it. I'm not even going to be Swayed. I'm not going to be Swayed. I think Withered Bonnie among...
I don't know.
These are the Nightmare Animatronics.
Is that what they're called?
No, Withered.
Nightmare Animatronics.
Withered Animatronics.
Okay.
I think Bonnie is the peak of the Withered looks.
I think Bonnie is at least A tier.
Do I want to go any higher than A tier?
I kind of do, but I don't know if it belongs up in new A.
I would personally put it there because... I don't know if it belongs up in new a i would personally put it
there because i don't just something about that look is terrifying it's what i remember bonnie
being after one that's the bonnie i think of is the withered look i would go high a probably above
the other two the other two okay i think that those two have more lore implications than this
one but this one was truly nightmare fuel to look at this one actually had more lore implications than this one but this one was truly nightmare fuel to look at this one actually
had more lore implications because he actually spoke he had spoken lines okay yeah he was one
of the few that actually talked and had lines when he killed you i think he even said things like i
was the first like it was really interesting is he from four is that from four where they had the
withered two this is all two this is still two two. Two has been a long time. Two was hugely dense. Two had everything
in it. Two was like, I still
think two is the best game of the
franchise. I think that
that is where I want to put it. Bob?
I think Withered Bonnie
is the superior
Bonnie, but I struggle to put a Bonnie
above B. I think Withered
Bonnie goes at the top of B
because it is scary.
There's just something very mid about
Bonnie as a character.
It's solid,
but it's not at the top
for me. I hear you. I just love
the symmetry, so I'm going to put Body stacked on
Bonnie because I think it's great. Let's never
change this. Wade gets a point.
You know how much I like
symmetry, Bob! You know! I think Withered Chica should go change this wait get some point all right you know how much i like symmetry bob you know i think uh
uh withered chica should go wherever it is most satisfyingly symmetrical probably right next to
withered bonnie so that's right above regular chica so that everything just is very satisfying
and delightful to look at also i still think Chica is generally a superior character to Bonnie.
So I think they at least belong next to each other in A.
All right.
Okay, that's fair.
That's pretty fair.
Wade?
I think that the Withered Bonnie is a lot more memorable
than Withered Chica.
I couldn't tell you why, just in my brain.
There's something about that ripped off face look
that's very different.
Plus, I don't see a cupcake in this image.
C. You know, ooh oh that's a good point because even in in this game there's a better chica than withered chica there's a better chica in the same video game oh it could
be symmetrical like this that's what i was thinking that's why i said see that's great
thinking wade that's a point didn't see the more symmetrical and proper answer.
Wade steals a point right under Bob's nose.
I really don't think that's more symmetrical, but that's okay.
Well, it's not more symmetrical, but it's symmetrical and then also makes more sense.
Sure.
But then Toy Bonnie's over here.
No, Toy Bonnie's okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Anyway, we're moving on.
We make final answers only.
All right.
Foxy.
I don't remember this Foxy as much as I remember the original Foxy.
So it's definitely not S.
Probably somewhere between Bonnie and Chica.
I'll say B.
B right here.
That's fine.
All right.
This Foxy belongs right next to its paler cousin Mangle in A.
Because I, as much as the original Foxy is pretty memorable,
this is also kind of
what I think of in terms of how Foxy looks
with the destroyed ear and the
more like it's just technically withered
Foxy yes yeah
so like it's not as iconic
as original Foxy but I do this
is among the more memorable ones for me
so I would put A tier right next to Mangle
I think you stole
it well enough how but above Mangle is really the question.
Oh, they both have the opposite eyes.
Oh, I didn't notice that.
Oh, interesting.
Interesting.
Well, got to put it there.
Or maybe here.
No, it's better the other way.
Yeah, you're right.
Okay.
You stole the point, Bob.
Right under Wade's nose.
What an idiot.
All right.
Golden Freddy 2.
Golden Freddy 2 is, I think, better and more interesting
than original Golden Freddy in terms of character in the game
and that he actually does something, I believe,
in the game that he's in.
Less iconic looking because it doesn't have that super crushed,
super bright yellow sort of look that the original
Golden Freddy thing always, that graphic has.
I would say B for barely Freddy.
So like here or there?
Under Golden Freddy in B.
Oh no, but no.
No, oh man. Okay, alright. Well well i don't know if i can give you the
point for this one oh well okay sure wade fix this wade fix it i think a tier up next to the left of
the original golden freddy the amount of times i saw this golden freddy in thumbnails the excitement
whenever he first appeared in the game and everyone was like oh my god i found this big secret and then like he actually did stuff it was a continuation and
an upgrade to the original golden freddy because there was actually more to it and a lot more scary
iconic look i think than the original golden freddy the wires coming out of the eye and stuff
i think it's below bonnie but above the original golden freddy i i kind of like that interpretation
just because i do think this one is more iconic
in terms of the look
because the crushed is cool,
but this one, great thumbnail.
Great thumbnail.
I've used this so many times.
Everyone used that thing in a thumbnail.
That was all over.
My thumbnail with Golden Freddy in it
was used in like some official thing.
I forget.
That's happened to my thumbnails a few
times where people think it's official
art or a screenshot or something.
Nah, I like it. Also, weirdly, this flows
nicely. You really got an eye
for aesthetics, Wade. You really got an eye.
Thank you for aesthetics. That's why
his office looks the way it does. Yeah, that's true.
Alright, we gotta wrap it up.
We're already... How long
have we been going?
Just over an hour on the recording.
All right. We're going to try to speed this.
Who is this?
I have no idea.
We're getting into territory.
We're out of picture of purple body.
I think it's like shadow.
Freddie.
That's Freddie.
I thought that was a body.
Yeah.
No, it's Freddie.
It's purple, but it is Freddie.
No, it is Freddie.
It's supposed to be like you see the golden Freddie.
I think going on.
He's got the butt. He's got the butt cheek snoot yeah he's got the butt cheek nose b tier because i didn't even recognize it at first but it's still a freddie so i guess higher
than toy bonnie b tier is fine i would say c tier because i do you know what d tier who is this
you're right who is this yeah what is that is that from this game who is that
d tier i have no idea i think shadow bonnie was like showed up in one camera but did nothing
yeah maybe fake i think fake yeah probably fake maybe all right bob you get it fine this guy
definitely not fake the shadow bonnie uh i mean just looking at that wait am i up? I'm up. I go first. Shadow Bonnie is cool.
I would say cool, but not as cool as Withered Bonnie,
but belongs in a similar ballpark.
I would say maybe behind Golden Freddy in A tier, though.
Okay, right here?
Actually, bottom of A tier. All the way to the right in A tier.
Because I like Mangle and Foxy more, actually.
But good look.
Classic, high contrast.
The teeth are spooky.
Good look.
All right, Wade?
Creepy image above Mangle and Foxy, but I'm still fine with A tier.
All right, fine with A.
B.
Bob gets it.
I give bonus points just because also I put this in my first episode of the Ruin DLC for Security Breach, and
I should have edited it just a little
better. I spent like five minutes on putting them
on a screen because people actually thought it was in the
game and I got a super weird event.
If I had been more particular about the
pixels, I could have made it perfect, but I was like,
eh, it was good enough, and then I shipped it.
I didn't know people would be convinced.
Alright, we gotta go faster.
Wade, this guy. Endoskeleton dude. I vaguely remember there being endoskeletons don't really care i think they're
c tier c tier it's an average thing it doesn't evoke much out of me and it's not that memorable
to me this gives big uh filler character vibes i would say d tier just for like random random
filler crap i have something against the d tier characters. I don't have really anything against this thing.
I still argue C.
I think C is thematically a good place to put it,
just because every one of these guys,
except a few exceptions,
it's an endoskeleton.
It is the base frame of all these things.
It must be the average, in my opinion.
I never saw it.
This is still two,
but that was the last of two.
Cut it off there.
That's kind of a reasonable ending point.
Let's do Springtrap.
I want to do Springtrap.
Yeah, let me do Springtrap because this is going to be the most divisive one.
There are some people that love Springtrap as a concept.
There are some people who are like, geez, give it a rest already.
Yeah, it's got spring locks.
He's dead.
Whatever.
Some people are like all about Springtrap.
Some people are like anti-Springtrap.
Who's got this?
Who's up? Bob's up first. Me? All right, Bob. So the thing about Springtrap is people are like anti spring trap. Who's got this? Who's up?
Bob's up first.
Me.
All right,
Bob.
So the thing about spring trap is there's like a corpse in there,
right?
Yep.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
Maybe purple guy.
Maybe not.
Maybe there's two spring traps.
Maybe.
I mean,
good,
good spooky quality.
Good,
good grossness.
Something about this has a more visceral gross quality to it than some of
the just animatronic versions but i would
say like b like i'm not a huge spring spring trap lover very solid very spooky kind of gross
b for me high b above above bonnie and b top of b but really you would throw off all of this
yeah i would ruin all of your stupid symmetry I guess a bunny I think
A or new A
I think Springtrap's the only one that really got
his own game or its own
game like 3 is all based
around Springtrap I think
whenever one of the newer games Springtrap
made another appearance and is one of the
most talked about animatronics
I need to be right back okay we can pause it for one we could make a handshake deal
we could make a handshake deal right now we could what are your terms what do you want
i don't know how much for one of those i can claim a win when you host anytime? Oh, man.
You know, I feel like you've not gotten a good
recipient of one of those things.
So, you give me
the springtrap location. I don't know
if that gives me enough to win, but you give me the springtrap
argument, and
I'll let you have one of those claims when it comes
down to you and Bob. I'll let you claim a win
sometime. Alright, sounds like a handshake.
And I do think that's gonna, if you do get this one, I'll let you take a win sometime. Alright, sounds like a handshake. And I do think
that's gonna, if you do get this one,
I think it is, by half
a point, you're gonna be up.
That's funny.
I knew we were close. I've won a few in a row,
Bob's won a few in a row. It's remarkably
even, that half point really did
make the deciding factor. I don't remember
why I put it there. Where do you feel
Springtrap belongs? I don't care.
I'm one of the people that I don't care where he belongs
so it doesn't matter to me. Yeah, he's
interesting, but not
that interesting, but he's like super
iconic for some people and there's
fan art of me getting just
pounded in the ass by
Springtrap out there.
There's fan art of that out there.
So that lowers it for me yeah
but that's all right all right all right uh what was i saying i think springtrap a or new way i
don't remember what our criteria were for new a i feel like a is good i think springtrap's iconic
enough bob you wanted to put it here right or top of b top of b yeah he was the one tier down top of
b okay a or new way i think it's higher
than b i think springtrap having his own game being so iconic being so divisive loved hated
either way people know of springtrap that puts it way above average probably a is fair i don't know
if he's on freddy's level even though he does have his own game i think a i think wade took too long
where do you want it bob top of b of B. He's top of B.
I'm A. You're top of A?
Not top of A. I'm A.
Oh.
Probably after the Golden Freddy's
is where I'd have him. After right here?
Yeah.
Ugh.
Oh. Alright, this isn't
just a symmetry thing. I do
think that Springtrap does have a lot of
qualifications for having his own game for having his like leading it and for having an impact and
definitely memorable for a lot of the fan base i think putting springtrap the og springtrap as b
not just in a destroying the symmetry way even though i don't really care much about him he is
pretty iconic putting him
below a just would not feel right i do think a is getting oversaturated right now and we need might
need a new a category but like putting a b just doesn't feel right so i'm gonna go with a if i
was going to clean up a i would move bonnie and the first golden freddy up which does destroy the
symmetry but i think that the top two and a move these guys up to s new way probably well i can't put anything a new way that would be even worse yeah this is a
this is a way too top heavy uh thing we've got going on here and i don't know much about the
shadow bonnie or whatever it is the shadow spring drop shadow bonnie whatever that is
to me that could go down i also argued that the other foxy should be lower mangle i think's about
right but the last two the first two in the last two i feel like stand out on that line from me
all right here's what we'll do subreddit you take a look at this you evaluate this we have so many
more that we haven't done and i know not all these are worth doing but there's a lot here that we
haven't done god's name is that frog character.
What the hell's going on over there?
What's that green one?
You don't know about the frog?
No.
What the shit?
I know about like some things about the top line and like the next two.
After that, the rest of them mean absolutely zilch to me.
All right.
Well, we might do a part two of this if there is demand for it.
And Subreddit, you have an opportunity to earn points yourself. if you make a convincing enough argument to move one of these up and down
i want to hear it because if i ever win again which who knows when that'll be maybe i'll do a
part two and we can get to the bottom of this so in the meantime this is what it is for now because
that's all the time that we have for let me tally up the points here i feel pretty good about the
list i don't know about you, Bob, looking at it.
A is definitely heavy, but overall I feel
pretty good about it. It's not bad.
There were some good designs in the first two games.
I think we'll find in the rest of the games there's a lot
less that fit in A tier, but
there were some memorable ones that
really stuck around. I do think we started
with some of the higher tier games.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so totaling up the points,
we had Wade with one, one and a half,
two and a half, three and a half,
four and a half, five and a half,
six and a half, seven, eight, nine,
ten and a half points.
That's not very many.
That's not very many.
Bobby had one, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten points
by the slimmest of margins.
What was that half point for?
I don't even remember.
He agreed with me, and you gave him a half point.
You gave him a point when I got a point for no reason.
Well, then it would just be tied right now.
Then nobody would be able to.
Then we'd be like, oh, let's do one more.
I had a really convincing argument for agreeing with you.
I deserve that half point.
I feel like, Bob, you had plenty of,
I warned you on one
of those at least there was an aesthetic aesthetic decision that could have saved you another point
there i think i deserve at least a half point for my epic steal of toy chica which wade i believe
wanted to put in like c or lower b for bang i gave you an entire point for that. That was a crazy swing. That was a three-tier swing.
I also got my way for Foxy.
We all agreed on Foxy at the end,
and you still got the point for Foxy originally.
I didn't.
You did.
I won that argument twice is what happened.
Well, look, even if a half a point,
this is the way it is, Bob.
Sometimes you don't get what you want okay all right i have
a really good episode all ready to go too you guys are missing out right now all right well
start pissing because that's about the only way that you're gonna get
all right and so with that with 10 and a half points the winner is me what i'm the winner oh you don't have any points too bad
this is the beginning of the era am i zooming out zooming in this is the beginning of the era of
mark i lost too many times in a row you didn't even lose that many times in a row. I had it ripped away from me
at the very last moment.
The only way
that I am going to abdicate
the throne of
host is if someone pisses
their pants on camera.
That's the only way this ends.
So I'm ending this episode.
My winner speech, I deserve this.
I deserve all of this.
I don't care what anyone says on the subreddit.
I am in charge here, and I get to determine who the winner is.
So I say that I'm the winner, and next week, next episode, I'll be hosting again.
Maybe we'll do Weird Part 4.
Maybe I'll just talk about AI all day long.
Maybe I'll just talk about how Mac is so much better
than PC. Oh, you would
oh, you're salivating at the ideas
that I'm going to come up with and you have no idea
what's in store. I think you're going to do tier list
part two and all of a sudden there's going to be some
mysterious FNAF videos on your channel
and this is just to boost your views for
Mr. Not Posting in like two weeks. Oh, what do you
mean? What are you talking about? It's up
to me. You need help, buddy. All you gotta do is ask. I'm the host! two weeks. What do you mean? What are you talking about? It's up to me. I'm the host.
I'm the host.
I win. Put another win on the
spreadsheet for me. I give myself
30 wins. I give myself
30 wins right back from those ones
that were stolen from me. You got us
back already, by the way. Did I?
Yeah. Bob gave it back
to you. Like a while ago. Yeah.
Alright, well, I'm cool on that.
I'm not tyrannical here.
All right.
Loser speech, guys.
You guys got loser speech?
You look so tiny in your tiny windows.
Who's up first, me or you, Bob?
Same time.
All right.
We always wondered who would give themselves a win first.
I knew Mark was this kind of person.
It doesn't surprise us.
But I never thought he'd take it to this level.
Thanks for having us, everyone but Mark.
I'm worried about the future of this podcast.
Yeah. Next thing
you know it'll be Distractible and Friends.
And it'll be Markiplier's Distractible and Friends.
Presented by Markiplier. Coming soon. And then it'll be Markiplier's
and Friends. To a theater near you.
Then it's just Markiplier. Then it's just Marky.
Soon it's gonna be Marky
Mark and the Marky Bunch. It's not even gonna be us. It's just Markiplier then it's just Marky soon it's gonna be Marky Mark and the Marky Bunch
it's not even gonna be us
it's just gonna be three Marks
talking about Five Nights at Freddy's
like the old times
but as long as we still get paid
I'm pretty easy
yeah okay that's fine
alright you heard it
and man I deserve this.
Thank you, everybody, for listening and or watching.
Be sure to follow the podcast so you know when we're updating.
It'll be all this guy all the time from here on out.
Until there's some piss in some pants, I don't care who's.
If I do it in mine, I'll just win again.
Anyway, so thank you.
And as always, I'll see you in the next podcast bye-bye
oh i don't like that at all that's okay with the new outro for this marco cat
anyway podcast out