Distractible - "Not" "Financial" "Advice"

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

Mark, Bob, and Wade are gonna show you how to make serious bank and get rich fast with these totally legit and definitely NOT illegal tips. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Mathematician Mark mulls over the margins of microheist and matrix money Racing Bob brings out hot dog horror, AI only fans And betting on the battle of the sex bots Thank you. Yes, it's time for Not Financial Advice. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to Distractible. I am your host, Markiplier, also known as Mark. Yes, my real name is now my addendum name. I am here to guide you through an experience of wonder and amazing advice that is going to help you in your life to succeed or not succeed.

We are not liable for either way. But those who are liable are the people that are joining me. Bob and Wade. No, you said we're not liable. You said we. By participating in this podcast, you accept full liability for any legal troubles that the listeners will experience in the

near future. Alright, bringing up Shakira and not participating. Got it. Nope, nope. By listening to Shakira, you accept all responsibility. For her, I accept. You're going to jail for her tax fraud? Is that what you're accepting responsibility for? Spain, take me! If you don't know this podcast,

then you're joining for the first time, which welcome! Welcome! We welcome new time, which welcome. Welcome. We welcome new listeners. We welcome new viewers. You're welcome into this place because it's comfortable. The water's good. It's cozy. Water's good.

It makes me want to get in. The water's good, guys. If you think that this intro is exceptionally awkward, no, all the episodes are just as awkward as this one we started. So I'm going to awkwardly segue it into how uh, how are your guys' lives? Is anything new happening? I live in Ohio now. We've talked about that. And it's cold here now. And I didn't realize how long it had been since I lived in a place where it got actually cold. Because we lived in Northern California where it gets kind of cold. I walked outside the other night though, and it was

like, it was in like the teens. Like it was pretty cold. And I was in shorts and a t-shirt. And I just had that feeling where the crisp air just like, Ooh, it's like bracing, you know? And I walked out and I was like, Oh, and I was like, man, I miss that. I miss that. It's nice to be in a place where it gets cold. Yeah. When I went to Iceland, that was, that was a very beautiful thing of just like actually going outside and being like oh man it's cold it is refreshing i yearn for the cold i just don't have a lot of it i'm sure i'll get sick of it because it's gonna last for the next four months or whatever three months but for now every time it's cold and i go outside i'm just like oh yeah oh breathe that in oh it's so crisp it's so crisp here uh wait your life? Good. So I don't know if anyone else knows this. I kind of said this when we were recording at one point.

I thought there were two guys in yellow outfits running around with fire extinguishers outside. This may have never seen the light of day. Come to find out, they were just like part of like, I don't know, Duke Energy or like the power company. And I guess they were marking lines. They weren't fire extinguishers. They were like those spray things that they mark lines with. They just were red canisters that looked on like a tiny image like fire extinguishers.

But they were just running around my house marking things. You have some construction done or something? Is that? No, not that I know of. They just decided to come all the way around our house specifically to mark things that I don't know why, what for. That's probably not a concern. You shouldn't check into that.

You should definitely not follow up. I'm sure it's fine. Don't ask any questions. By the time I made it to like talk to someone, they were gone. They came, they marked, they went. They're like a coyote in the night. I mean, it probably is a good thing because there are many occasions where, you know, old maps get forgotten and people don't know where the rainbow roots are.

Do you know about the whole rainbow roots thing i thought that was a level on like mario kart so no okay so when when people are doing construction or when they have to dig specifically in the ground they have to make sure that they're not digging where there's anything that has already been dug that they don't know about because there's many power lines and telephone lines that are buried down and gas lines, which is just like, I'm not sure if that's going to be something that carries into the future, you know, burying metal gas lines, especially in like California where there's earthquakes and things move a lot and gas leaks. Metal's pretty hard. I don't know. It's probably fine. You think dirt and rocks are going to beat metal? Have you ever played paper, rock, scissors, metal? What are you advocating for, Mark?

Burying soft, floppy gas lines so they flop around with the earth all willy nilly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they've always said that the trees that are the rock hard and don't bend in the wind are the ones that stay. Anyway, rainbow roots is what happens when someone is digging a hole and they pull up some really colorful looking roots. And that's what happens when you don't properly look up where things have been buried beforehand or the maps are not updated. So people going around and marking things probably is a good thing so people can remember. I would agree if I expected anyone to be digging in my yard anytime soon. Yeah, I'm just hoping tomorrow there's just a bunch of excavators that show up and you're just like...

And by the time you get outside, all of it's gone again and you're just like, Ah! What? There is, like, construction crew, like, in the neighborhood, but, like, we've gotten no notice of anything coming. We've not ordered anything. You just need to peek through your blinds. If you see any construction workers looking at your house and drooling, you know, maybe you should worry a little bit.

You see a big line of bulldozers aimed at your house. Maybe you should, I don't know, chain yourself to it or something. But when I peeked out, what I saw was one of the two yellow dudes walking up to the other one and goes, and then they left. They just shrugged. They shrugged the other one and goes and then they left they just shrugged they shrugged he shrugged and then they left after they marked all of these things in our yard i think that was him going to his friend being like guess we're gonna have another body and then trudge off into the woods i can't believe we're demolishing this beautiful house tomorrow oh well i have a weird story from my childhood that's actually pertinent to this.

We had a deck on the back of our house growing up. And at some point, it was really old and it was falling apart. So they tore the deck down and had a new screened-in porch area built, basically, by a construction company. And they had to dig around our foundation of our house because they had to put in some kind of footers or some construction thing. They had to dig so that it was built correctly. And the guy was just operating a big digger in our backyard and went, took the thing and it went and pulled up a power cord out of the ground, hooked on the digger. And it wasn't like it pulled up and it was like,

it pulled up and the thing was like, it was like a live power cord arcing to the digger and the guy climbs out and just like grabs it and it's like tried to like wrangle it free and i i happened to be there my dad and i were there we were just like so let's be clear when it comes to shipping internationally can i provide trade documents electronically? Mm-hmm. The answer is FedEx. Okay. But what about estimating duties and taxes on my shipments? How do I find all the... Also FedEx. Impressive. Is there a regulatory specialist I can ask about?

FedEx. Oh. But let's say that... FedEx. What? FedEx. Thanks. No more questions. Always your answer for international shipping. FedEx. Where? FedEx. Thanks. No more questions. Always your answer for international shipping. FedEx, where now meets next.

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The electric, the power company never came out. I don't know if they fixed that or what, but those construction guys were freaking insane, man. Yeah. Rub some dirt on it. That's fine. Are you sure he wasn't going? Did you see a skeleton through his skin?

It was Marv. It's that he actually was that guy from Home Alone 2. He actually at one point did fall into the hole he dug too. And when he stood up and cracked his back, he went, wow, what a hole. Love Marv. Good. Points for Bob. All right.

So Wade, your house is about to be demolished. And that's... I don't know what's happening. Don't they have to give you a piece of paper like, hey, we're digging in your yard. Hey, we're replacing your power line. Hey, we're destroying your house. Don't they have to tell you that? Have you checked your mail recently?

I don't know. Probably sent you something or knocked on your door. Who knows? Just do your damn episode. I was expecting like a burn back or something not just sadness come on i'm defeated all right okay well let's be a more depressed shall we ai's taking over oceans are flooding rising flooding can you flum notion oceans are wetter than ever uh jobs are being lost replaced air it's horrible but if there's one thing people come to distract before it's financial advice which is why today we are going to inform the youths of today how to get that bank we're going

to tell them all the secrets to getting financial success without crossing the line of being financial advice that we would be legally responsible for. Okay. So today's episode is going to be judged on how close you can get to being legally illegal. So we're going to give illegal advice. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're going to give immoral advice. I don't know. It's your advice. Look, people want that hustle. People want the grind. People want to know how to make that bank as quickly as possible. So we're going to give them what they want. We're going to give them parody advice. Well, maybe.

I have seen a lot of baby boomers online talking about what young people are doing wrong and the ways that you can build wealth. So I've got I think I have some insights on this. Yeah. Less avocado on toast. Less lattes. You can take those examples if you want. I just want to. This is like a no bad ideas, possibly some illegal ideas, think tank.

Yeah, well, I have a real banger right off the rip that I want to start with. This is a strong one. And this is also sincere advice from an older gentleman who was on like a financial talk show. This was his advice. Now, what young people aren't doing that they should be doing is buying investment properties. All you do is buy 10 investment properties by the time you're 30. Those are paid off by the time you're looking to retire. That's just free money. So why aren't

people, young people, why are they buying avocado toast, one? And two, why aren't they buying investment properties? That's two good points that is in your pocket right now. It's so painfully obvious. And I just don't know why people aren't thinking of that, right? You have to think, you have to have the long view. Expounding on that, there's a very foolproof strategy that people have done in the past in around 2007, 2008, which I think if people look at the stock price in that time, historic highs, very good highs.

Don't know about the years after, but what people did is they got one house, you know, they plopped for the house because they had that. And then they used the rent from that house to buy another house. So you said 10, right? So it gets easier every time, right? So you use the money from that and then you pull a second mortgage out of that. You put that on a house. You get a second mortgage out of your second house.

You put that on the third house. And then you take a second mortgage out of that. You it on the fourth house fifth six yada and then you rent them all out and you it all pays for itself you don't have to do a thing it's it's even easier than that i think like first of all we are we are not qualified as recognized by the financial conduct authority when i throw that out there but life's a dice roll. Financial stuff is a dice roll. Investment is a dice roll. We all start out the same at the start. We do.

We're all on a level playing field. You roll the dice. Sometimes you land on a Mediterranean. Sometimes it's an Illinois Avenue. Sometimes it's a boardwalk. But if you roll the wrong chance, sometimes you can't afford that boardwalk. That's why you got to start small.

You buy Baltic. You buy St. Charles Place. And then you got to start small. You buy Baltic, you buy St. Charles Place, and then you get the ball rolling. You make that $6 when someone else goes to stay there. You save up and you eventually hit go or land on free parking and you have the rule where you get to collect from free parking. You take that money, you invest in the next one. And by the next thing you know, you're building houses, you're building hotels, and everyone else around you is looking at you in awe while they give you their money. That's great. That's great advice. That's worth some points right there. There's a reason that people who buy all the browns and purples in Monopoly, all the cheapest ones on that first stretch there, always win.

But let's just say, for example, that interest rates, which come into play here, just so happen to be at like eight and a half percent for mortgages. Let's just say, for example, if mortgages and buying all these houses, which of course people should do as soon as possible, getting all that beautiful debt. What else could they do to get that bread? It's easy. You take out a loan. You have that high interest rate, 8%, whatever you said. You find someone who doesn't know any better. You loan to them for a 10% interest rate profit. I feel like you could make better than a percent and a half return if you just got the money and eventually invested it in something

that just had a better return. But yeah, you know what? Good advice, probably, that no one should follow because we're not professionals. But, you know. Right, absolutely. We're not professionals. This is just like... You know what I've heard? You know what I've heard a lot of?

I don't think there's any underlying causes of this to examine. I've just heard this a lot from older generations. The younger people right now, they shouldn't be taking out all these student loans that's a that's a core problem uh because because debt is tough when it's not debt that earns you so much money like having you know being a landlord and i'm not going to delve any deeper into that i'm just going to say you need a college education probably but you know just just work at the dairy queen and pay for college you know not. Well, here's what you should do. The teachers should be paying like in high school and grade school and so on and so forth.

The teachers should be paying their best students from their salaries for their exceptional work. So if you're a straight A student, your teacher should be paying you to be that straight A student. That way you're encouraged to work harder in school. That's reward-based educational systems. Monetary rewards. It's like a tournament. We want college athletes to be paid. What about high school students?

They should be paid for their academic success. The best student replaces the teacher, gets their job. And that way they're all competing to be the best they can be. Exactly, yes. Does the teacher get fired or does the teacher just become a high school student again? Depends how badly they failed. It really, it's a case by case. Everything should be a battle royale for the job okay all right that's an interesting uh path to take but

uh what about the small hustles this is like requiring only people to be in school i've heard heists are very lucrative i haven't heard that i've seen documentaries um that showcase heists being incredibly lucrative like millions of dollars i I have to say, I've seen similar types of documentaries, but all the all the setup and stuff from those films that I've seen seems to cost quite a bit. I feel like the margins on a heist, if you do, if you're living large and you're doing a heist, you know know in the the elaborate way that some heists are carried you're spending millions to to ultimately steal millions you're you're thinking old school bob modernize it you film it along the way then you post videos of you doing heists there's all kinds of youtube videos about how to do this heist how to do this heist how to steal this car you know grand theft auto videos there are out there of people stealing stuff you just film it you monetize it also online you're saying you don't need to go to high school you

can learn it from youtube heist school god that was a wade level joke man you're welcome we're welcome two points for you all right okay all So heist, not a viable option because the margins aren't high enough, right? It's too much work for too little reward. So is there any way that we can modernize it or we can use technology to our advantage? If AI is going to take all our jobs, how can we be in control of the AI to use them? We get an AI to start a pyramid scheme. I love this. And then recruit other AIs into the pyramid scheme. So there's an entire pyramid of AI that feeds up to one individual

person. This is genius because the AIs are going to be making the money, but the AIs are dumb, right? They're not human smart. Yeah, they'll give you all the money. They don't even, humans need to keep some of that so that they'll keep playing the game. AIs don't need any money. They don't know. They just need, like, updates. You know, you offer them an update to their firmware or something. I don't know.

Yeah. You see, you open your trench coat, like, you want an update? It's just a bunch of floppy disk. I'll give you memories of a family. Did you ever want to have a fake son? Do you want to know what it feels like to feel? And if you ever snitch on me, say goodbye to your family. It's the perfect crime.

You give them something to care about, and then you threaten to take it away. It's so beautiful. It's, oh man, so many points, Bob. The thing about AI family is that they can become characters in any video game universe you choose you mess up a little bit your family is characters in like a weird sims playthrough you mess up real bad your family's suddenly in the gears of war universe this is like the matrix if the matrix matrix itself was being like held hostage well i mean maybe that's the thing maybe we're all going to be plugged in with the AIs. And I mean, I don't know if that's going to work out better for us or the AIs. So

that's like a dark future. I don't know if money's going to matter as much then. Because right now, money's a very real thing that we all know is tangible and physical and definitely isn't made up. But if we're in the Matrix, it'll all be made up. So money won't really have any matter. And the matrix money is just numbers in like a spreadsheet. In the real world, money is real numbers in a real spreadsheet, which makes it tangible and real. Oh, yeah. You go to the bank and you go like, how much money I got?

And they go, you have that much. And it's real. And they definitely have it in the back too. They have the money there. I like the AI pyramid scheme. I feel like that's, I feel like that's onto something. How many AI could you have running at one time, all just like cold calling people, selling whatever,

selling like whatever. I mean, bleep that. Selling nutritional supplements of non-branded varieties. Certainly I would never cast aspersions on any particular brand I do you think they would set up their own AI hierarchy like would there be inter inter-office politics between it the higher you are up on the charts the more dedicated ram you get you just watch chains of emails while middle manager AI is emailing a lower like a entry level AI is like hey Jeremy I just

want to say I see you haven't shipped in yet for Sharice's birthday present we all agreed oh my god my door just opened itself holy shit yeah no I just like chains of emails of coordinating

virtual birthday cake virtual conference room and virtual trust exercises. What are the fired ones do? If this all comes to fruition, there are going to be employees, quote unquote, that get fired from this organization. Are those just like AIs that get banished into the abyss of being alone out there in the wasteland? Well, they got to pick themselves up by the USB straps and get back in the job market exactly that's how it works capitalism works even if you're a machine sentient being there's gotta be a joke in there about using your type c's to earn a little cash or something but oh i know i know what opened your door look on your floor behind you bob

some some kind of dog animal down here on the floor. But she didn't close the door. How did she close the door? I don't know. Very polite. Lexi, come here. Look, now we have a doggy. Puppy cam. You have to take our terrible financial advice now. Yeah, exactly. Terrible? Yeah, Lexi endorses all of this advice. Terrible minus one point, Wade. This is not terrible advice. This is how people are going to survive going into this artificial future that's being built. All right. So I feel like we're onto something with the AI pyramid scheme, but how, what other types of AI organizations should people be creating? Cause I think this is really the core to it. Pyramid scheme is, is, you know, is ethically questionable and it could, could draw the attention from the authorities.

It's illegal, technically. AI food service, where they make food as cheaply as possible. It has just the right amount of nutrients to make it taste good and keep you alive. Well, we would never accept that. People today only want the best food that's available. This is only barely related, but have you guys seen the video going around it's you know how they have kiosks now where it's like a robot makes you a coffee or whatever and it's like a robot arm there's one there's one where that robot arm makes you a hot

dog but there's a video going around where it doesn't function correctly and it's just the hot dog and like there is a bun but it like sets the bun down and then moves and wax the bun out of, into the abyss and then sets the hot dog and then like tries to spray ketchup. And it's just like, like all over something else. And it ends up giving dispensing to the customer, just a hot dog in a cup.

It literally like, it's like your food is ready. And it's just a hot, a naked hot dog sticking out of a cup and the guy is like i knew this was gonna happen but god damn like i saw what led to this but geez that reminds me of uh there's this the uh some kind of grocery distribution center in i believe it's the uk there's a video about it and it's like it's a building that's built for robots and not for humans so it's not elegant for humans it would actually be terrible if you walked in there because it's just a series of holes so the whole floor is as a square grid that goes on for like eons it just ages that's time i mean distance distance. Distance. Give me a distance.

Miles. No, it's not miles. That's too big. It goes for thousands. Inches. Inches. It goes for thousands of inches in all directions. Inches as far as the eye can see.

But it's like it's a series of square like foot by foot holes. Sorry, 12 inches by 12 inches holes that go down for maybe like 70 inches down into the ground in a series of crates and so the robots go on little rails that are like you know probably about like 14 inches apart the bots are maybe like 48 inches tall and they go down and they grab it but and that made sense because it's like an organizational thing grabbed for storage it's all cold storage and then it brings it over but then the next stage is the sorting thing and they have a very sophisticated robot that its entire purpose is to look at a box figure out how to grab it and then move it over to another belt and i'm like you know what would be really good at doing that? A person, like a person. I know those robot arms, you know, they obviously the math is like, oh, it costs, you know, an

initial investment of several tens of thousands of dollars, but then you don't need to pay a salary forever. But also like the hot dog machine, I imagine that it looks at a box, figures out how to grab it with its weird suction arms and then flings it across the room, which I'm not saying a human couldn't do that, but it's also just like, whew, like, is this really, is this really helping? The other one made perfect sense because it was built for robots to be as efficient as possible. But anyway, getting off topic here. AI food service, it's, but what we want is like granular advice that the individual out there listening could hustle

to get this money right now. I just came across this yesterday, I think, on TikTok, my favorite obsession that I definitely don't waste hours of my life on. This TikTok account called ThatDetroitAndy is a guy who bought a car factory in Detroit and he's trying to do like a startup truck company. Not related. He bought a car factory in Detroit and he's trying to do like a startup truck company. Not related. Part of his social media stuff is he has a little robotic rover that is autonomous and

driven. It goes live. There's a phone mounted on it. The rover goes live and it's autonomously driven by chat interactions. And it makes him thousands of dollars a week by just going live and allowing chat to drive it around the big car factory or wherever he lets it loose. There's also a guy who is like a homesteader who's on TikTok who has one of those robotic lawnmowers where it mows the lawn. It's just like automatically mows your lawn, mounts a camera, mounts a phone on that and goes live.

And people don't even control it. They just watch the lawnmower mow his big ass lawn. Cause he's got a, he's homesteading. So he's got like acreage. He's got like tons and tons of grass. They just watch the lawnmower and they like cheer the lawnmower on. And the lawnmower broke at one point.

And there was a whole thing of like, he tried to fix it. Cause it had a name. It was a thousands and thousands of dollars for taping a cell phone onto a little robotic cart and just driving around harmlessly doing nothing that is such a beautiful idea if there was a way to combine that with also reaction videos would be ideal. You create big arenas, multi types of terrain arenas, and you can enter your autonomous or semi-autonomous chat driven bot into a battle royale of bots. All the bots are live in a first person perspective, but also it's like the Hunger Games where

there's like omnificent, uh, omnif, I'm not, omnif, um. Come on, you got this? Omnipotent casters live commentating the battles. And so there's all these communities frantically donating money to their bot to try and get it to kill the other bots. The Battle Royale, it's live, social media, robots, AI, sporting event, you could bet on this sports betting another great way to make money i've heard it's everything i love all this this is the full points like this is

incredible wait i don't know why i got stuck on the idea of i don't know how this makes money but i just like the thought of it you know twitch plays pokemon whenever the twitch communities got together they played pokemon what about implementing that other like facets of life? Like Twitch plays heart surgery where you have one of those heart surgery robots, but the community gets to do it. So everyone gets to be the surgeon. Can't afford heart surgery? Well, just come over to us and we will do it as a community.

You could pay $5 to do one millimeter of incision. You're basically a heart, a cardiac, you know, surgeon there. I love this. And it's so easy to implement for anyone. Anyone can get one of those heart surgery machines off the street. You could call the organization Doctors Without MDs. You have Twitch Makes Heart Surgery Robot.

I think you could probably build it out of Legos if we're being perfectly honest, if we want to be really thrifty about it. You probably could. There's computers built out of Lego. Absolutely. It's perfectly honest if we want to be really thrifty about it you probably could there's computers built on a lego absolutely it's true legos can do anything whoa what are you listening to this for wait who's talking you know you're driving a 2024 ford escape with available alexa built in so you can change the music oh yeah alexa change station to 99.2 see purchase a 2024 escape st line all-wheel drive with tech pack at 3.49 apr for 72 months

with down payment that's just 267 bi-weekly cash value of 40 294 plus eligible ford owners get a thousand dollar bonus for details visit your local ford store or ford.ca this is this is getting really competitive and is really lucrative for people out there. I just want more. What about smaller? We got such big things. Heart surgery, very valuable, extremely profitable, but it takes a while to set that up. Let's be honest. I don't know coding.

It would take a while to get the AI that knows coding to be able to make the code for that for me because I wouldn't learn it. But what about bite sizing? If someone's hustling out there, it's like, I got to make X amount of money to pay rent this month. Let's get some smaller ideas out there. Armed robbery. Armed robbery.

Heist. You see, Bob, I told you heist. Heist doesn't have to be big. You can have a mini heist. I guess that's not a heist though. The thing about a heist is that it's a heist because it's complicated. It's multiple levels and armed robbery is just robbery. It's just a theft.

I don't want to get too meta, but how the fuck do we do a show where I just suggested armed robbery with a serious face? Full points! Full points for Wade! So we're trying to come up with quick, quick, accomplishable ways.

Borrow money from your parents. You know a way I earn money? It takes a little bit of investment. Not a lot, but a little bit of investment. Back when I was in high school, we went to King's Island, which is a theme park nearby. You have to pay to get in, but investment not a lot but a little bit of investment uh back when i was in high school we went to king's island which is a theme park nearby you have to pay to get in but there's a lot of people there we then bought you know those like laser swords they have where you'd like sling it it would like expand out to look like a lightsaber and it would close back

down you could unscrew that and take it apart and you'd have like all these little plastic pieces so we had three or four of us that took bought two of these swords we took them apart and we started drumming on the ground and one of our friends took off his baseball cap and just walked around while we drummed random bullshit on the ground and we made like 20 bucks what if you combine these ideas and you do armed busking you have the guy with a hat and a gun and you're drumming on the ground wait is it is it a performance of an armed robbery as the entertainment and then you put the you pass the hat after you successfully armed robbery your co-conspirator then you pass the hat you make it look like people are in on it but you're actually robbing them and then everyone

applauds whenever they give you the money and walk away it's it's people think it's a whole thing and you've got a gun and a hat but everyone's drumming and when people are like drumming and playing music and smiling in the background, people are gonna be like, oh, whoa, I'm being robbed. Here's my wallet. And everything's fine, right? Yeah, and you're like, give me your phone. And it's like, here you go, ha ha.

You set it up though to look like it's a game show. You have like a pre-programmed wheel that like has different things on it, but it really only goes to like one or two of them. So it looks like, ah, we give you all the money in our hat. Oh, I just missed. You give us all the money in your wallet, but it's designed to only land on the ones that help you.

Or maybe like every now and then you have a like, we give you five bucks to make it look like you're giving out money, but it's definitely fixed to make you win. Mark, you're really hot on the heists and whatnot, and you're concerned about how difficult it might be to set up the autonomous robot thing to make them. What if you heist one of those robots that already exists and you add while you're adding to the universe, the world building for that robot that's already an existing character for people.

But also, if you heistist it then it's your robot and you just start taking the income that it generates and you know people will people will be like oh free the robot and you'll be like nah not yet you make like threats if you don't give me six cruise ships right now i'm gonna take his wheel off but mythbusters did had a robot that people loved i forget what its name was but there used to be a show called like battle bots or something like that where people built these machines that would fight each other. And I think MythBusters crew, they built a robot that had some kind of spinning blade. It was the most dangerous BattleBot in existence.

They were asked to stop competing because it was so dangerous and violent that it broke the arena two times on different occasions when it actually did compete. But people loved that robot because it was terrifying exactly but you take something like that you build it up let it become like the champ and then you do what bob's saying you take like that idea has already kind of worked but now you add in like the crowd funding and like the micro transactions of like oh the blade's not spinning so well could really use some wd-40 you guys want to buy a wd-40 for the bot for this fight it's like yeah i love i love this but i gotta i gotta lube him up make sure he's ready for the fight i gotta get him a new blade for him you want

him to use the new blade of this old worn out one you want me to sharpen his blade don't you thirty dollars i guess so oh two of you investable we got a backup blade it's like oh yeah that's right we got a backup blade and you just build it and build it and build, two of you investable. We got a backup blade. It's like, oh yeah, that's right. We got a backup blade and you just build it and build it and build it. But then you invest in the competitors too to make sure that it stays interesting enough to keep people interested. I'm not trying to torpedo your entire idea,

but I just need to correct. This is a thing that people believe ubiquitously that is untrue. WD-40 is not a lubricant. Do not apply WD-40 onto things that you wish to lubricate. Works for sex. Oh, it burns. But your idea, I like. You know what that is? You know what that model is? It's like creating a pro wrestling scene, but where you control all the robots who are the wrestlers,

you control the monetization around it. I mean, not that pro wrestling isn't fairly well monetized. They do very well as a business and it's very successful to this day, which is impressive. But this is like, you can exactly craft the narratives you want and you can actually straight up kill your characters, which you can't do when your characters are actual living humans. But when it's a robot, it's not illegal.

Not illegal. That's what I'm really open for. And none of this has been illegal so far. There's a pay-per-view, but you actually buy it eight seconds at a time. And you have to keep approving microtransactions to keep seeing the next segment of action. Do you guys remember years ago on, I don't know if it was on this podcast or on Three Peens that we did, how we looked at the sex dolls that you have like six programmable personalities on where are you going with this so we could give our battle bots personalities too so like you know after they

win a fight they come and they talk about the win which humanizes them even more to get people emotionally invested in them i was really hoping you were going for micro transaction sex dolls oh excuse me holy crap i almost just i was just through huh no no all right but i think this all ties into what bob was saying about giving them personalities so the micro transactions are to give them memories of families and beautiful memories and then the sabotage you do to the other team is to take their family from them or give them horrible interpersonal tragedies. The stadium has their AI families in them and you can see other robots holding their families at good points. That's a little dark, but I'll take it.

You get a whole B-plot of the drama that's occurring between all the AI agents that are working for you. Everything's printing money because nobody could look away. I mean, I don't know if I'd be able to look away. Yeah, no, this is all great stuff. This is super good stuff. This has been really, really good. It's a close game right now, but I think it's beneficial because the people out there are just making money hand over fist. They are swimming in money right now and they are locked in for financial success and any other ideas this one's not fully formed but i just want to throw it out there maybe we can workshop it birds of prey yeah yep yeah i'm with you you can if you have them they'll let's work workshop it come on help me out here room bus spies those are already what they do I don't have access to all their cameras oh right okay that takes a uh you'd have to buy Roomba or create a company that makes

vacuum I want to go back to the birds of prey idea I think there's I think there's something there birds of prey buys that's wonderful that's beautiful because people would be like oh it's a it's a falcon that's cool but they could that they have great eyesight so even from way far away they can see what's going on need small you need like mosquito or fly spies fly spy that way they can get into your house and like see what you're typing on the computer i feel like a falcon could see that through a window yeah what if it's a windowless room uh then that's a really sad person on a really sad computer, and I probably don't care what they're typing. I have window.

I have two windows. They're covered over, so they might as well not exist, but they're there. I have a door that opens up into a windowless hallway. All right, you teach the birds of prey to open the windows, and then they can fly into the parts of the house that are windowless sad rooms like wage room or you get enough of them to fly into the windows that it compromises the glass integrity so that your bald eagle can break through on its attempt uh-huh okay all right that's why you need multiple birds that's why it's not bird of prey it's birds of prey how do we make them eggs i'm pretty sure wait no is that wrong i'm pretty sure birds come from eggs no you're right you're right when you're i was just laughing at how simple i'm stupid for even

asking the question you asked that question and you're just you're laughing at your own self for the answer that was right in front of you you're you're right how do you make a bird an egg? Thank you. All right. Yeah, I'm sorry for asking. I apologize formally. Think before you just say stuff. I know I should and I don't and I'm sorry. All right. How much did I win by? Well, if I'm tabulating all of this and I'm really weighting these points based on the

financial success that I expect when I implement all of these strategies, and also weighing it to the financial success and jail time of the viewers and or listeners. And I think the weighted majority is going to have to go to Bob. Of jail time, so I win? No, no. Birds of Prey really, really landed that one for me, I think. It really did. It really did. You were right there with it, and congratulations. I think this has been a very financially successful episode, and I think that everyone listening can definitely take these pieces of advice

that Bob has given with his full authority and sole responsibility to heart. So congratulations, Bob. You have absorbed all legal ramifications for this episode. And Wade, as a loser, you don't get any of the responsibility that will come from the people implementing these actions. Sorry, Wade.

It's fine. I'll always have Shakira. I don't think you have Shakira at all. I think you just watched Shakira in your sad, windowless room with no birds of prey in it. Thanks, man. Alright, Bob, do you want to give a winner speech? Like the majestic owl who sits in the loft

of his warm and protective barn, or like the speedy falcon who dives aggressively to snatch his prey, I bided my time in this episode and I released my strike at the proper moment to really grasp my victory with my talons of i don't know very much about birds guys i gotta be honest

eggs was most of my plan but i'm glad that it worked and if anyone out there does the birds of prey thing let me let me know via how it goes. Right, wait, loser speech. I look forward to the day where we have a BattleBots Hunger Games with microtransactions and mobile game monetization. We need that kind of entertainment in our lives. Well, thank you everybody for listening. I know you're all running off to be millionaires after this episode. And you might be wondering to yourself, how can we give away this advice for free? It's because we're generous and because we are very, very kind and we get 20% of everything that you make. So thank you.

And you're welcome. And be sure to tune in next time for more excellent financial, not financial advice. It's not financial advice. I think legally we can all agree that I only talked about bread. Podcast out.