Distractible - On Success

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

Bob, Mark, and Wade reflect on the little victories and major milestones they've had over the years. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Vitamin Water. Everyone knows that New York City has got to be one of the most stylish, diverse, and fun places in the world. And you can see all that character in Vitamin Water, which was born in New York because New Yorkers wanted more. It comes in a range of flavors that match the vibrancy of the city and brings the New York vibe wherever you are. Grab a Vitamin Water today. This episode is brought to you by Monopoly Go. I love you guys so much! of Vitamin Water today. playing Monopoly Go. I just want to point out that I have hit every single landmark on your board in the last few minutes and it feels really good because you had a lot of money sitting there. Thanks, man.

Anywhere and every time I can see you just taking all my money. Did you know Monopoly Go allows you to connect with friends or make new friends? Well, Mark, I want you to know I haven't made any new friends. I only play with you. It's your chance to be the number one tycoon and rub your victory in everyone's faces. Make your move and download Monopoly Go, now free on the App Store and Google Play.

And don't play with Mark or I'll find you. Landmark! This episode is brought to you by Vitamin Water. So much of what the world is obsessed with starts out in New York City. It's a place full of style and character that has something for everyone. With a range of flavors to meet any kind of taste,

it's no wonder Vitamin Water was born there. Colorful, flavorful, anything but boring, Vitamin Water injects a daily dose of vibrancy into a watered-down life. Grab a Vitamin Water today. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Baneful Bob is bespectacled no more, bashes Britsom Potter,

and invokes the peen pole vault problem. Moral Mark Rawdog's cat, Immaculate Acrobat, destroys Delta and scouts for his harem. Wayside Wade hankers for Hibachi but dodges the Crunchy and warns of flying too close to the Sun. From nourishing Nevada to Unas Annas. It's time for On Success. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello everyone and welcome back

to your second cousin twice removes favorite podcasts. This is distractable. I'm your host because I just can't stop winning. I'd be like, I've been hosting a lot lately and it's because I have because I literally win every time I compete. It's in my bones. I can't stop.

I'm joined as usual by my two competitors for today's episode, Mark and Wade. Hi. Hey. Anyway, Mark and Wade are gonna be competing because the winner of this episode hosts the next one. That's how it works. That's why I'm hosting this one, winner in my bones.

How you been? Pretty good. I'm finally in Ohio again, and I feel like I've been gone most of the last month, but I'm finally home for more than five minutes and it feels good. Why are you leaving so much? Yeah, why are you leaving so much? What do you hate home?

We surprised our friends in Virginia and then Molly had a family reunion in the sodas so we went up there. In the sodas. Isn't it just one soda? Yeah, but it's really big so I divided it into several smaller sodas, kind of like Mark's root beers. Really? I thought it was a mini soda. Yeah, but it's really big so I divided it into several smaller sodas, kind of like Mark's Root Beers. Really? I thought it was a mini soda. You'd think that, but when you're there, boy, it's a chunk of soda. Like Ohio, I think, is a relatively good sized state compared to like the Northeast, I guess, not compared to like the Western states, but Minnesota,

it fits right in with your Nebraska's and your big states other than maybe Texas and Alaska. Other big states you know? You know other ones? Oh yeah, dude, like Idaho. No, that's a big state. Name every state in order of size. Oh, already don't know which one's first. Oh, the smallest is Luxembourg, I know that one.

Oh, actually the Vatican City, that's the smallest one. Washington, D.C. Oh man, he lost, that's not a state. Which one's bigger, Texas or Alaska? Is Alaska bigger? I think it's Alaska. I think Alaska's bigger by land. Yeah, so Alaska, Texas, California? I don't actually know.

California's tough because it's such a weird shape. Is it bigger than Texas or is it... No, no. It's large, but I don't think it's bigger. It might be the third biggest but... I can't imagine other states being as big as California other than the ones, the two that are... Alaska is twice the size of Texas. Well, but it's all just moose and snow. 586,000 square miles compared to 261,000. Hey, I was right the next though. I got California then Montana. I would not

have gone New Mexico number five though. Oh, New Mexico is enormous. Arizona, Nevada and Colorado round out the top. This guy said Nevada. Fake Nevada fan. N-E-V-A-Y-D-A. It's pronounced A-V-E-D-A. Livin' Nevada, lo-kay. Is that correct? Is it Nevada? Yeah, if you ask the residents of Nevada how it's pronounced, it's Nevada, not Nevada. We're too far west to have a good education system, so they're just wrong. They're only beaten by California as far as that goes. Why are we slinging rocks?

What happened? What show is this? I don't know, cause it's Nevada. What are you, British? I might be. Nevada. Havada, Nevada. H cuz it's Nevada. What are you British? I might be How many times you that joke has been made Is there some kind of stick shaped thing in a casino like the pole handle on a slot machine and someone goes up to it It goes

Probably anyway wait Havana, Nevada! Clunk and gambles. Probably. Anyway, wait, the only reason I would say they get to pick is because they live there and we don't, so it's a marginal. I don't know if you've seen this going around the internet, Mark, but it's finally come to everyone's attention that everything is Ohio and always has been. It's pronounced O-he-o. Oh shit, have I been getting that wrong too? Dude, that would be such a power move. Any anytime you're anywhere outside of Ohio, but actually Ohioans Oh, that would kind of undercut that wouldn't it? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Beer episode? What a question. Editors, add in liquid, make a liquid simulation and pour it in my mouth. Every time he goes and takes a sip,

it just sprays all over him. Let me go get something, I'll be right back. No handshake deals. I'll take my headset off so I can't hear nothing. All handshake deal myself. I'm not above that. All right, fair enough. All right.

Who was that? Oh, he can't hear you. What was that? What was that? I love Ohio. What's up? I was just singing our national song, you know, Ohio's national song. You mean Ohio? Yeah, called Ohio. The song is.

Okay, I'll be right back. Yeah. So deals. Hey, actually, look, I'm not going to be singing Ohio's national song. You mean ohio? Yeah called, ohio the song is okay i'll be right back yeah so deals Hey actually look listen we don't have to oh Okay, it's the next one after this current episode i almost got handshuck i wasn't listening i didn't hear none of that Bob you wanna do a deal all right yeah mark mark scone let's make a handshake deal Editors peace mark, fade him out.

Oh no. Anyway, Mark, how are you? I'm good. Progress is finally being made with the server room. Everything else is good-ish. There's a master plan being cooked up that I can't talk about yet. Whew. But when that gets into operation,

all of those who doubted me will pay. They're going to combine lenses and server farms into one monster. Yeah, it's called a movie. Oh, God. You're going to have a lens rental server farm film set camera company. That's not a lot of small talk. You guys all done? You all emptied out already?

Damn it, I don't know. There's really nothing else that's been going on that I could talk about. Everything else is just drab. I saw Deadpool Wolverine and boy oh boy was that actually great. I really, really enjoyed that. I wanna go see it again very badly.

See it again? I don't wanna spoil anything, but it's one of those movies that I saw and I was like, again, again, again again And Molly's like no not today. Oh No, thanks. Is that a is that a normal thing to do see a movie in theaters multiple times? I've only done it on very rare occasions and oddly enough one of them was cats Get a cameo a secret cameo couldn't get enough James Corden. You didn't see the cat in the back with his eyes just go meow You watch it once and then it's so captivatingly bad that you have to bring someone else along

to experience how bad it was. I've been there man. So I was not the one who was originating this chain. It was actually Ethan who kept bringing more people and then I said I would go along to see other people's reactions to it because it was funny. But they would all get really high before going into it. And so me being the stone cold turkey not fun haver that I am, you know, I just, I experienced cats raw, you know, just like the pure unadulterated, unfiltered experience, which I think is the truest. I feel like it's plenty weird for you to enjoy it without being high. I don't think that is necessary at all.

I've only seen it at home, because I watched it on streamers. But I guess that makes sense. I would, I've never done that. I don't think I've ever seen a movie here in theaters twice. I don't know that I would do that. I've never seen a movie high, but I have seen a movie in theaters multiple times.

In fact, it started when I was young. When Aladdin first came out, the animated Aladdin first movie, I think I made my parents take me like two or three times in the first week. And I think we saw it back to back. And they agreed to this? I think as a kid who found a way to be entertained and allowed my parents to have two hours of peace, they were like, you know what? Okay. Yeah.

What they just did you in the theater and go have a drink somewhere or something? Like, no, I think they watched it, but I think it was one of those things where it's like, we're either going to watch the same movie on repeat at home or we can do it here where he's at least sitting in quiet. Damn. They never said that, but as an adult who sees the way kids be sometimes, I'm like, you know, I can see it. I mean, it happened more prevalently back before every movie was on streaming immediately.

So usually if I have seen a movie, even like the first Dune, I saw it in theaters and I was like, that was great. And then I saw it at home the second time, just cause I wanted to hear people go, ah, ah, ah. It's like my sound system is nowhere near as good, but still it was. Oh, end game in theaters, man.

I think I saw that three times in theaters, the sound of that just booming around you. Man, I saw Oppenheimer, which, you know, which has a great sound design and great music and really sound balanced, but I saw it in the shittiest theater you've ever experienced. The projector they had was the one that they use for ads in other movies before the actual movie projector kicks on. But they use multiple projectors? Yes, they do.

Have you ever noticed that the ads are often a much lower quality than the actual movie itself? Yeah, I thought that was just to make the movie look better. No, it's because they have a cheaper projector where they run the ads so they don't get any burn-in or anything and they have time to like prepare the good one so that the movie looks perfect. Never knew that. That's cool. We almost own a movie theater and you don't even know how this works? This guy. Mark, it's good that that didn't happen you and i should talk after wade's gone yeah yeah i would love that wait can you step out of the room i could but you're asking a lazy man to do something it's unlikely to happen this is why we didn't go in on that movie theater yeah that's i'm looking smarter and smarter every day that we didn't do that i can't wait to see what you two do after the podcast we're gonna have a movie fit fit, or render farm lens museum, and you're not gonna be invited. That's fine.

I'll be here in this chair still. You're gonna die in that chair? There's a chance. I do spend a good portion of my life in it. You never know. I mean, Elvis died on a toilet. I could die in a gaming chair. I'm not saying I'm like Elvis, but like...

You're saying that Elvis's video games was poops. Yeah. Got it. I love hibachi. Hibachi good. hibachi great. Have you had hibachi in the last, since we were? We had it in, well not here, we had it in Minnesota. Oh God, you had it in Minnesota, hibachi.

Yeah, so the hibachi around here is also very good. But the one in Minnesota, they also like give noodles. Like you can order noodles at the one here, but like, I don't know what they do to the noodles there, but they give them to you with the meal, and they just taste like the best noodles ever. They're so good. And I just, I don't know what they do to the noodles, but they give them to you with the meal, and they just taste like the best noodles ever. They're so good. And I just, I love hibachi.

I love food, man. I'm a food guy. I feel like that's a consistent theme with you. You do love food. Which is funny because we also give you a lot of shit for being a picky eater, because you really don't love some food. I really hate some food, but the food I love, I love.

I respect that. No, I don't. I'm definitely gonna make fun of you sometime soon for being a picky eater. It's got to come back. You're going to hate Korea. You're going to hate Korea. I will die of starvation. Well, I think that when we do go, which I don't know when that will be, but eventually

it'll happen. There are many good fusion restaurants that have lots of varieties of fried chicken, American style foods with just a little bit of pizzazz on them. They have some incredible grilled cheese sandwiches that are super deluxe grilled cheese with mac and cheese inside of them and little ham bits. I think you'd like some of that stuff. But that's not Korean food. We're also going to go out into the countryside and get some authentic.

Hell yeah. I have plans that day, but like, I hope you guys have a good time. Let me know how it was. You got plans. You got other plans in Korea. You wake up and you just get picked up by a mysterious vehicle. Like, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Yeah. I got a lot of friends and family out there to visit while we're in town. Okay. Like, Jimbo?

Jimbo? Yeah. Jim-bo. That's probably a Korean name. Yeah, oh, you mean Jimbo. Yeah, sure, sure. I see, yeah. Yeah, that's what I meant, of course. And then Timbo. Oh, Timbo.

And Crispbo. Crispbo. All right, getting a little racist, getting a little racist. All right, keep going. I don't know, you went along with Bo, so I was just adding it to everything. Uh, Tanya?

Tanya? Tanya Bo? Hey, he just said Tanya. She goes by one name. She's like Cher. That's it, I don't have that many people out there. What do you think? I didn't know you had that many

Korean friends and family out there. Well, I don't know if they are. They're just around sometimes, so I might run into them. They wander. They're NPCs, they just make loops throughout the day, so I might run into them. They wander. They're NPCs. They just make loops throughout the day. So if the paths cross, you know.

Yeah, every Monday, Tanya passes through. So I'm gonna see if she gets there on a Monday. Then, you know, they have their set schedules. I don't know why you're so afraid of Korean food. Korean food is fantastic. I think a lot of food's fantastic. I'm just a picky eater. Usually it's texture.

Korean food is not like only raw or, I mean, I'm sure that there are some things that American, our American tastes would be like, oh, that's kind of weird. But it's in large part fantastic. And it's mostly like delicious fried chicken, delicious seafood, delicious. Like it's not like way out there. Some other cuisines in the world would be like, I would get why that's weird for you. Is chicken and dumplings Korean? Cause that was really good when we had that. No. Was the kimchi Korean? Yes. Do they have Quaker steak and lube in Korea? Dude, I drove by there recently and I was like I put my hand on the window was

just like I miss you. Okay usually usually you say that to you know someone that has left or passed away or something like that. I just missed it. It's there, it's fine, it's open. It could probably go right now actually, but. You haven't seen me or Bob in a while, you're just like, oh, I will remember you.

That would be really kind. If you guys were food, I would say that a lot about you. But yeah, kimchi, we ate that and that didn't, that wasn't my favorite. Okay, that's a little spicy. You should try, you should try the kimchi radishes, kimchi daikon. It's like sweeter and crunchier and it balances out the spice a lot more. I bet you'd like it. Crunch? I have a hard relationship with crunch unless it's like a potato chip.

You eat all kinds of crunchy shit. What does that even mean? You mostly eat crunchy stuff. Do I? You like like chicken wings, anything that's deep fried. You like fried catfish. You love crunchy stuff. I don't know. I gotta give it another shot with kimchi, but that one, I was struggling to get that down.

Kimchi equate that to like sauerkraut a little bit. It's different for a lot of people. Some people like it right away. Some people like sauerkraut right away. I don't like sauerkraut. I love kimchi and they're not similar, similar cause it's a lot more, a lot more vinegar in sauerkraut and actual sourness. You know what I liked? The chicken, the dumplings and the broth.

Good episode, Bob. Who won? Well, we haven't gotten there yet. Man, we're doing this all out of order. Look, I do have a topic and I want to talk about this. And it was spurred on by a very specific thing that my wife showed to me. It was like a TikTok video. It was like a video on the internet that went around. Today I want to talk about success

and how we define success. I want to get into it, but I want to start it with an anecdote. And actually this is a true life story. Have you guys seen the pole vaulter at the Olympics who lost because his huge dick caught the pole and knocked it off? I did see this, yes I did. I heard about that, I did not see that, we were watching some of it but I did not see that one, I heard about it. It's sad for that individual but it's a very funny clip because it's it seems like a good pole vault

He does the thing goes up and then slow mo close up Because they're always like, whoa, do they brush the bar literally? He's about to pass it and from the front of his pants. It's just like And hooks the bar. It's like it grabbed that thing And it's look he didn't get his Olympic glory maybe that he was hoping for. He didn't succeed on this thing that he'd spent so many hours training for and looking forward to. But did he still succeed?

He's going to have a line of people ready to learn pole vaulting from him. You know what? Probably. But anyway, the Olympics have been going on. It's been making me think about it a lot because the other story is the, and this is a spoiler, but it's from a long time ago when you're watching this now, the US men's gymnastics. They got bronze, right? They did get a medal.

They got bronze. You would think they fucking won the intergalactic universal gymnastics championship and that the guy, the nerdy glasses Clark Kent fellow who did the pommel horse routine also learned how to fly with the power of mind levitation. It's because they, like they, you know, they reached their maximum potential. They weren't ever really likely to get gold or silver because the other teams were just better than them and had, and this is, they know going in where they stand kind of, but they celebrated like they did the best thing

they could have possibly imagined. And they kind of did. I mean, it's hard, like it's rude to be like, oh, you only got a bronze Olympic medal. Of course that's a success, but they celebrated more than all the rest of the teams did at all. Those guys were fucking living it up. So clearly they had an idea of what their success was.

And I just kind of want to talk about this. Who got gold and silver? Do you remember? Who cares? Well, I'm just thinking like maybe it's just a cultural thing. Remember when we were in Europe and like people were a lot more reserved during our shows, maybe they don't celebrate like wild animals like we do in the U.S. No, they do. They do. Like Detroit, you would think we were at a rave the way like fans of Detroit were like during the show, they were just going nuts. Then we went to like Belgium and everyone was just very calm and like quiet and respectful. It's very different vibes.

Compared directly to the US women's gymnastics team who in the team all around absolutely killed it and decimated their competition and they got the gold and they were kind of like, oh thank God. Well, they go to the bathroom and they just shit gold medals, man. They are crazy good. Yeah, they do shit excellence,

but it's, yeah, I mean, it just, it depends, right? That's part of the reason why the men's team was so celebrated because they've long been overshadowed by the women's team. Not even overshadowed, but it's like all attention was on the female side, which is a similar kind of situation where you got the NBA and then you have the WNBA. And with this season of the WNBA, you got Caitlin Clark, who brings some star power. And I think that's what this American team did this time around you had Glass's pommel horse guy who only does pommel horse. Wade did you see all that? Yeah do you know that story Wade? I did I watched the I watched his pommel

horse routine also Mark that was the most sport correct stuff I've ever heard come out of your mouth. He's not a sports podcast. He knows things. I have a sport podcast. After two years, some of it does rub off on me. That was so just good. I'm just so proud of you. You should celebrate like the men's gymnastic team you just placed. You got a medal for that. Yeah, make me explode. So the new success that they found is actually that was the first bronze

I think they've ever had. That's first that was the first bronze I think they've ever had. That's the first time they medaled, I think. They may have medaled individually before, like one person, but I think as a team all around, it was difficult for them to ever compete. And what's funny is like, I hadn't even paid attention to the men's events before this, but when I was looking at them, I was like, that was perfect. They won gold, right?

And it turns out they won bronze because every single performance they had was immaculate. It was beautiful. Like everything was. But then I went like, holy shit, how good are the people that did gold and silver? And then I go watch them. I'm like, Oh, I see. Oh, wow. Yeah, but more attention to it. So I think they're very successful. I think incredibly successful. Some of the swimming, the swimming was ridiculous. We watched some of Simone Biles routines. She's obscenely good at everything. I mean, everyone was. I don't know that I watched them, I was like, ugh. Pommel horse though, that was pretty insane to watch because it's like the whole time, there is not much room for error.

Every movement is like, oh, unless you have a big dick, I guess, and then there's no room for error. Dude, imagine having such a big dick that you couldn't pommel horse. Gets tangled up in the two bars, you know. You could pommel a ball, that you couldn't pommel horse It's tangled up in the two bars, you know You could palm a ball, but you couldn't pommel horse Actually a trick named after me where I use your third arm and you do a 360 with both of your hands up in the air. That would be incredible. Oh well

This episode is brought to you by Monopoly Go. I love you guys so much! I love you! And I love playing Monopoly Go with the two of you, it's the best! I love you even more than you think you love us, and I enjoy our time spent playing Monopoly Go. I just want to point out that I have hit every single landmark on your board in the last few minutes And it feels really good because you had a lot of money sitting there. Thanks, man Anywhere and every time I can see you just taking all my money Did you know Monopoly go allows you to connect with friends or make new friends? But mark I want you to know I haven't made any new friends. I only play with you

It's your chance to be the number one tycoon and rub your victory in everyone's faces. Make your move and download Monopoly Go now free on the App Store and Google Play. And don't play with Mark or I'll find you. Landmark! But anyway, that's one context. Obviously, the Olympics is a thing where these people work in some cases their entire life leading up to that. And that's a, you know, that's a very lofty goal to even get to the Olympics. But life is filled with all kinds of successes and I'm curious I was gonna do this in a more organized way but the theme of this episode seems to be complete chaos. So let's talk about it like this. I would like you guys to try and pick a success that you've had in the last what's a short amount of time? Hour? Six hours? Five minutes. I don't know what we're gonna go shorter

to longer stretches of time. And I wanna just talk about like, what does success look like in different scales? So let's say in the last, let's since you woke up today. So in the last couple hours for Wade, the last 20 minutes, what's a success that you had in that timeframe? I have one, it feels very lame. I've got one. Go ahead very lame. I've got one.

Go ahead, sir. I was getting ready and the dogs were both in bed with me because Molly was doing some chores and stuff. So she put the dogs in bed and they needed to go outside. And as I was taking them out, the cat ran out with us and I was like, it might be a little bit late because Keters is out here. I got to get him back inside. And the dogs went out and they potty did what they were supposed to do. Started going back to the door and I was like, let's throw a Hail Mary. Keters, let's go inside. And he was like, yeah, okay. And just trotted along, went inside with us. And I was like, dude, listen to me.

That's beautiful. Is that thing you've been working on? Maybe try and train Keeters to listen better or is it just- He listens sometimes, but like with Molly, it's like almost a guarantee. If she's like, Keeters, come on, he'll just go running. If I do it, like sometimes he'll just stare at me like, yeah, fat chance. Sometimes he'll go along and he's like, I'm not doing this because you said so, I'm just doing it because I want to, which might've been this case, but like it lined up,

I needed it, it was a bit of a time crunch and it worked out, it was like a moment. Quality success? My success is that my world domination plans are finally moving forward. You know, thinking about it, it was really inconvenient when everyone showed up here at 8am. Exactly. And usually I like to take my mornings a bit slower. But it was, you know, it was a kick in the ass and everyone was here and things are getting done,

and they'll be done relatively quickly. And I think that is a big win, because I've been trying to get this to be underway for quite some time now and it's finally here. So that's big. That's a big win, I think. That's a huge win. You had another one in my eyes, man. Your sports talk just a minute ago, that was like the biggest sports W I've ever encountered with you. Mark drops hot sports W's all the time now. From what I've seen of the show, you seemed like you hadn't learned a lot, but now it's like something finally clicked. This is meant to be a compliment. it sounds very backhanded, but like... It does sound pretty... negative.

Yeah, man. I don't know how to take this one, man. No, no, you did very well today. I'm very proud of you. I said two sentences? If that's what it takes to impress you, I could- I'll keep that in mind next time you're hosting. The pommel is low, and you're swinging with big dick energy right now. Just be careful. Don't fly too close to the bar dickeris There was another guy that set a world record in the pole vault but no one cares about him how big is his penis That's what I want to know dead tiny dick tiny tiny itty-bitty. Could you even see it while he was pole vaulting? No couldn't at all. That's just sad. It's the only reason he got over.

He just passed over the bar and went over his crotch. He was just, just empty air, nothing. Is the set that sound emanating from his crotch every time he goes over the bar, just like, you jumped so high. Yeah, that's a good, that's success. Well, that's a good success. Let's stretch it out.

Let's, let's, let's reach further into the past. I was just thinking about how hard it would be if it would hurt to hit your dick on a metal bar while swinging around like that. You're like, let's stretch it out. And it just like, I cringed a little bit. No, don't do that. Anyway, continue.

Can't compete in the Olympics without stretching out beforehand. Let's reach 24 hours into the past. I don't know if that's far enough. Mark's success was very, world domination. Oh, I didn't say mine. I'll participate. Mine was I didn't say mine. I'll participate. Mine was I got my contacts in this morning and that is embarrassing but

also something is wrong with my left eye, man. I get my right eye in this. Oh, also I'm wearing contacts. I didn't even address that at all. This is the first time anyone in the world is going to see me online without glasses on ever. I wore contacts in high school. I have exclusively worn glasses the entire time I've ever been on video on the internet. No one has ever seen me without glasses in this context probably. That's crazy. But there are also days where like one eye is harder than the other like there are days where one of my eyes fight me too. You might have just had an off day where one of your

eyes was like nah fuck this. Well it was like that yesterday and today it was the same experience where it was like, I kept hitting either the top eyelash or the bottom eyelash, but I, after literally dropping my contact on the floor, picking it up and there was like comical, like twirly hairs on it and stuff and having to get the solution and clean it really good and doing, I got my contacts in.

Try putting them in the opposite order tomorrow. That's what I did yesterday. Cause maybe you have like a different dominant eye. Cause I've got to do, I think I'm left eye dominant. I have to do my right eye first. I'm left eye dominant. And I, I mean, I've only done it twice. So it's not like I've tried it a lot of ways,

but I tried left eye first yesterday. Cause I was like, then I'll be able to see. I did right eye first today, but I got him in. I persevered and that's what's important. Okay. So let's reach back 24 hours. Kind of success this week. Tell me your wins, guys. I made an incredible steak yesterday. Yeah. I like that.

I heated, I het up a pan. Heated? No, het up. Het up. Het up. Het up. I het up a pan and I had one of those laser thermometers because I was going to sear it, right? So I wanted to sear it really well. And there's a way to make it with butter and rosemary. And I didn't want to go through all that

because then you gotta turn the temperature down and just like baste it forever. So it's really annoying. Can still scorch the shit out of that butter real fast. What I did was I seared it, I plopped it in and then followed up immediately with butter because I didn't want the butter to start burning in there beforehand.

So I wanted the butter like in afterwards and I wanted it to sear really hard So I put the butter in there and I just dumped a whole bunch of rosemary garlic like pre-mixed Seasoning on the butter and I was like, maybe this will work and I just started like sloshing the butter around it It was stuck to the pan. So I was like slosh slosh flip it over. It's like who it's like perfectly brown. I'm like I've never seen that book that like caramelized layer of brown as like whoa Yeah and so it flops over into the butter and The rosemary and then like I get that side seared and then I sear the edges and then I let it sit in the pot

Like as as they're in the pan as it's cooling down I just started flipping it every once in a while to like let it rest in the pan and it would the heat would continue through the things hopefully cook in the middle I just flipped it a few times and it's just like it's a shitty steak And I cooked it real quick because I was just hungry and then I got into it It was supposed to cook it was like the best perfect medium rare and a great cause I could taste like the rosemary all the way Through it. I was like holy crap. I did it. I could taste like the rosemary all the way through it. I was like, holy crap, I did it! I, when I cook steak, I put it in the air fryer usually. I just let that bad boy sit.

That is a decent way to get a decent steak. It's perfectly fine. Not going to make a great thing. It can't soak in anything. It can't like absorb any juices or anything like that. It kind of drips through. This is the first time I've successfully pan seared a steak and it was turned out well. Did you set like the smoke alarm off or anything or was it? No, no, not even the smoke alarm. No, I didn't burn anything. That's wild. As a person who cooks a lot and who's tried to do lots of fancy shit to varying levels of absolute failure and or soaring success on a couple of occasions, that's very exciting. I like that a lot because I've at restaurants, I've had food where you eat it

and you're just like, wow, how do they do that? Oh man. Imagine if I could do that at home. And I could, I was a trained chef, but when you get that, when you get it at home and you take a bite and you're like, oh, I would have paid for this. Oh, that's so good.

That's so satisfying. Yeah, it really is. That's a 2.6. I'm gonna quantify your success, Mark. Holy shit. That's a 2.6. I'm going to quantify your success, Mark. Holy shit! That's a double success, because you made it and you ate it. You would have already won the episode if it was me, Mark. I love food, food successes.

What about you, Ed? I've got a relatively boring thing, I guess, because I don't really... I didn't really get to do a lot yesterday because yesterday I was traveling home. So it was my traveling. We successfully got home. And let me tell you that right now, that an accomplishment because the crowd strike stuff is still affecting I don't know if it's all airlines, but at least Delta Delta got hit hard and man every flight We've tried to do has been delayed. They'd lost our bags when we were coming back for Virginia. Thank we didn't lose our bags

We got all of our stuff packed up. We made it to the airport on time and all of Minnesota I mean all of Minnesota is under construction. Their airport, their roads, their grass, everything. There's just construction things everywhere. Half the exits are closed. So trying to get to the airport alone was kind of like a zoo. We got there, got to the airport, which again is under construction. Half of their terminals, you have to like, so we had to like print off the tags for our

bags to check in. Half of those terminals are out. There there's a long line for that. A whole lot of deal. We got to the gate. We sat down. We're like, all right, well, this one's on time. And I swear to you, 10 minutes later, we looked over and it's like,

wait, that time's like 15 minutes later now. Oh no. So then began the delays, which thankfully only went like an hour, I think maybe not even a full hour, but there were like five delays. Ultimately it led to like an hour delay. It was fine, but we got on the plane We got to our seat that we actually had the monitors on this flight and they were working which they weren't working on the way there

But they were working on the way home. Oh, I love when that happens. That's that when you get in and you're like It's a good plane good plane monitors worked. We landed we got our bags, we got to get our dogs on time, we got to get home, just relax for a bit. It was a successful travel day despite like it looking a little bit bleak at the start. No, that's a good one. Hey, you said you set that up like it was to be really boring, but traveling, so the three of us have traveled a lot. That's why it's boring to me, I guess, because we have traveled a lot.

But even when you're a very seasoned traveler, when you just finally are like, OK, everything will work, even if there's a delay or whatever, when you finally like you have your bag on the other end and you're in your car and you're like, OK, let's just drive home or go. That's very satisfying. That is a success. A success.

Sometimes shit is awful and you get stuck in Boston for three days on the way home from two weeks in Europe. And man, was that not my favorite thing that's ever happened to me. and you get stuck in Boston for three days on the way home from two weeks in Europe and man was that not my favorite thing that's ever happened to me I can't believe there's any company that isn't going to sue CrowdStrike How is CrowdStrike gonna survive after this? I'm very interested in like the YouTube documentaries that are gonna come out about the aftermath of the CrowdStrike thing because holy shit

Cincinnati's airport still like two weeks later they still have like well now they've got fewer bags that are there it was just a bag graveyard now they've got like one lined off area with actually somebody supervising it where they're still unclaimed bags but like this was what was it like July 19th is like two which isn't a terribly long time but two weeks of still being behind means two weeks of travel delays, cancellations, problems. And this is just one Pacific airline at one location I'm seeing. You're talking like a global thing and many different companies. I don't know. I know that Delta was going to sue them for like $500 million. And obviously that's a

big number so that they can go to court and get it, you know, something in between. But even so, that's just one company that was affected. And they might be the biggest lawsuit, but it's like, my God, that was that was so much more widespread than anyone knows because it didn't really affect anyone besides big businesses, except for you, Wade. It affected you personally. Yeah. Well, in the airlines, one is so out front because flights delayed, flights canceled. This is like all the news was talking about it, but CrowdStrike is a big, like lots of companies who were never gonna hear about what happened internally

use it in the exact same way, right? It's like they're like a cybersecurity software or something. I don't even know, but like lots of companies use that exact software that bricked all those computers. I can't imagine they're gonna survive. What the hell? Dude, I felt like the matrix, the way we were dodging stuff, like it affected us, but like,

there were people that just spent days sleeping at an airport or they got sent to the wrong city because they were thinking they could get a layover somewhere, like bags that were just missing for a long time. I had one bag not make it for like 12, 15 hours. And we had a six hour delay, Oh, I'm gonna tell you this. We had a six hour delay on the way to Minnesota. We got to the airport knowing it was already delayed

by like an hour and then they delayed it like 10 more times. And the last delay was because, I don't know how they didn't know this ahead of time, but they were like, oh, we don't have a flight crew. They had to clock out. So you guys have another two hour delay. Two hours ago, you didn't know you wouldn't have a flight, like you knew this was the time.

I'm sure that they knew that was gonna happen Yeah, like that feels like the kind of thing that you would know Well, there's aren't they union like flight crews and all that like are there I get that they like have they have certain Now i'm not mad at them for having to clock out It's more so the fact that they didn't know that we were 30 minutes from home for six hours at the airport When we were like, we could have just come back. We could have just not like, man, these, it was inconvenient. But like there were people a lot worse off than us that got stuck with no hotel, no nothing,

sleeping on airport floors, their bags and Guatemala while they're trying to go to Britain. Who knows? Like there were people that were- Wow. Who's going from Guatemala to Britain? That's really a fool's flight there. It's on them Tanya She's well traveled Tanya Bo their favorite card game is skip Bo Mark you remember when you got stuck in Washington DC because of computers and airlines. I was gonna bring that up There's a video that on my channel that people can find it was like What was it called like we care so much something like that Delta cares or oh, it's called I want to go home and then it's just you

You got colored pencils drew on a white piece of paper your best Approximation of the Delta logo and then we poked my glasses through it and of the Delta logo and then we poked my glasses through it and scratch it on my face. It's really funny. It comes across really well. I don't know why but it's quite compelling. Terrifying actually. What?

Yeah, wasn't it? Didn't I just like have a belt and I was snapping a belt standing over you to like we care about our customers or something. Yeah, it's like come here. We care. Get over here. we care so much. It's quite terrifying, actually. Delta's great until things go wrong,

and then they seem like they absolutely have no idea what to, I guess the other airlines are, that sounds like it's not really biased. Other airlines have had more problems for us historically, so maybe they're more used to dealing with catastrophe. When something goes wrong with Delta, it just seems like they are a fish out of water. Yeah, which sucks because I quite enjoy,

I quite enjoy Delta. I got my diamond. Yeah, that's unfortunate. You got your diamond play Delta button? Yes, yes I do. That sounds like a thing. I got a silver Delta button. All right, anyway, good successes.

I like those, those are both really good. Now let's reach back further. Was that 24 hours or was that a week already? 24 hours. OK, a week in the last week. Pick out a success. Oh, I have one. On Thursday, I actually did a screening of Iron Lung for some people on my team so that they could know what the hell it is that they're they're selling out there.

Because a lot of a lot of my my my team and team is such a nebulous term it's like the agency that represents me right they call themselves my team not team applier but this is just like the the agency side of it the connection to the greater. It should get more intimate like your brothers and sisters your lovers It should just be your lovers your harem my harem. Okay, so my harem I showed I showed the movie to my harem They really really enjoyed it even in its slightly unfinished It's evolved a little bit since you guys saw it because it's like what you guys saw was actually I won't get into too many details of it, but they saw it and they were like No, specifically which parts?

Oh, let me tell you. So they really enjoyed it and they kept going like, Wow, you actually made a movie! And I was like, uh, yeah, uh-huh. We had our doubts, but man, this is in fact a movie. Thanks, your words make me smile and cry. But it's one of those things where it's like, I'm not really showing that I don't have people that need to see the dailies or anything like that. So tons of people haven't even seen anything of it

besides the teasers that I've put out there. And so no one in my harem has really taken note of it or seen any part of it, even though I've invited them out. But you know, I get it, I get it. It's fine. I can't wait for the Spotify clip that they're gonna have us like are they gonna share of us on socials or it's just you talking about your harem out of context I was gonna be like what the fuck dude my harem really enjoyed Iron Long. So it was good because these are traditional like

you know movie people and Hollywood whatevers and you know I always am like are they blowing smoke up my ass or do they really think it? But I think they actually truly enjoyed it. They they've had many good things to say about even like it's got some last minute things to do. Still a few things to tweak and improve upon it before it's finally ready. But now there's starting to form a plan for getting it out there. And it's very exciting before they were like, yeah, you're making a movie. Got it. No and it's very exciting. Before they were like, yeah, you're making a movie. Got it. No, we'll wait on that one.

People will see it. We promise. That's how the conversation goes a lot of the time. It's good to know they have so much faith in you. It's nice. Must be uplifting. Yeah. Oh, it's not really my harem that's most of the doubt or anything like that, but people outside of my harem, they'll soon be in my harem, but most of the the you know doubt or anything like that but people outside of my harem you know they'll soon be in my harem but they they they'd like oh youtubers make it a cute movie you know and I I get it when you have when you look at the things that I've made before like like in space it's a great story that's being told across a lot of different things in a different

media but from a movie perspective it doesn't traditionally look like a movie would because, you know, it's more like an episodic or a TV series or something like that, that level of stuff. But when I set out to make a movie, I wanted to make a fucking movie. So it looks and plays very much like a movie. Is this like Drunk Minecraft where you're taking harem applications? Oh yeah. Wow. That's a throwback, wasn't it?

There has to be an extensive harem vetting process. It's not an application. You have to be scouted to be part of my harem. You will be chosen. That sounds terrible. I don't want to do this anymore. Wade, what about your success in the last week? Where's your movie?

Huh? I have a series of small victories that added up to us success. So where's your movie, huh? I have a series of small victories that added up to us success. So we went to Minnesota, right? So I spent the last week there. So that's most of what my topic will be. And I had some goals over there. I was like, you know, there's some certain food places

up there I wanna go to, cause food is what matters to me. That a family reunion, food is the most important. Seeing family was fine. You know, all my family watching, Molly's family watching from Minnesota, you guys are fine. But there was some food there, I really wanted. And I was like, alright, I want to get, they have a smoothie place. Smoothie King?

Nope. Oh, Smoothie Queen? Smoothie Harem? Smoothie Ten of Diamonds? Nope, it's called like, Blender Brothers or something, what the fuck is it called? Smoothie Brothers? Maserated Fruitland. smoothie smoothie movie smoothie the movie Smosh the movie the smoothening smooth brain smooth brain Sam berry blends

We weren't even close. No you are it's called berry blends and they have this smoothie called Caribbean blend, which is simple enough It's just like pineapple orange strawberry. Maybe some mango, something another. It's very simple. Places have something similar but they just do it better and the Caribbean blend is just so good and I was like gotta have one while I'm there. The hibachi place I was mentioning up there with the noodles I was like gotta have it while I'm up there and then they were talking about like at the reunion itself people were gonna make like pulled pork and they were gonna have like just a whole bunch a whole spread of food. I was like man I'm really excited to eat that and every food goal I had, I had the food it hit exactly the way I wanted it to was just

mwah and I was my I had a very happy mouth hole and that series of just like wanting to do different things and it was it was more than food too right we had to spend time with our nieces we we had to go see Molly's family. Yeah, yeah, whatever, whatever. Well, when you're going to a reunion of people you don't know, like you've maybe met once or twice in the last 12 years, and it's like, all right, we're gonna spend a whole day here. I gotta make like that small talk conversation

with people I don't know, hopefully it goes well, hopefully it's not just like awkwardly like everyone talking around me and I'm just like, I don't know how to, I don't have anything hopefully it goes well. Hopefully it's not just like awkwardly like everyone talking around me. And I'm just like, I don't know how to, I don't have anything to relate to you about. That went well, had some good conversations, fun times. We got to go like on one of those, it's not a four wheeler, like a quad, but it's like a off-roading golf cart type deal.

Cause they've got like this- Yeah, well it's called side by sides. Yeah, side by side. I think that's what it was called. We went riding on one of those, plowed through like this almost pond, but it was really just a giant puddle probably, like through a creek over some other stuff,

survived that, just everything on the trip went as good or better than I'd hoped. It was just a whole bunch of successes, starting with the food, most importantly, obviously, then everything else. I'm gonna ignore all the rest of the stuff that wasn't about food that you said, but food. Sometimes, you know, when you just want that one thing, like from that one restaurant, that one thing, whatever it is. Why doesn't,

why is it so hard for that to hit correctly? I feel like even a restaurant where it's, I don't think it's the restaurant being inconsistent all the time necessarily. There are some places where they pretty much always make it right and they do it, but it's like I remember it wrong and then when I eat it, it like doesn't satisfy the itch in the right way or something. You guys get that? It's like heroin right? It'll never be the same as that first hit. Or murder. Yeah I know when you feel the first drop of warm blood splash across your face it's ecstasy but the second time just you know it's chasing a high that'll never come back. I think we can all relate to that. Not this time though, the food,

exactly how I wanted it to go. We sat down at the hibachi place, man, the noodles, everything hit my plate. I even had to order like a second helping of fried rice because I was like, I just burned through mine so quick and I still had meat and I needed my meat. But they make like a mountain of fried rice. How did you eat it all?

Yeah, they make a whole shitload of fried rice at those places. I had a lot of meat. You know me with meat. And I wanted my meat to rice ratio to be right so. Well you made sure it happened the right way. That's that's true. Man I'm gonna have to get fried rice today. Sounds pretty good. Good successes. Delicious successes. Alright I had a couple more layers but I want to go big. I want to go real big. No

not that big. Not like pommel horse guy big? Well, I was gonna say the last decade, but honestly that's a long time to try and search back through and think about stuff. What about last century? I mean, we could go that big. Last century, my biggest success, I beat all hundred million

of my other potential brothers in a race. Those guys suck. I win. First my dad won his relay race then I won mine just non-stop number one finishes oh incredible we nombed our way right through that egg right to the center to the podium yum now I don't want to eat any of that food you were talking about let's talk about your favorite success not necessarily your greatest success, but your favorite success of the last five years.

Five years. So that's a while. That's a lot to think through. I've already got it actually. Very specifically five years. Oh yeah, and not that one. No, you could talk about that. That's okay.

I think I know what you're gonna say though. I don't think so. I think this is one that I don't think I talk about this very publicly very often 2019 if I remember correctly 2019 was the year of the YouTube ad Pocalypse I think that was the year that like the YouTube ad revenue dropped majorly. I think it was 2018 But it affected 2019. I'm pretty sure I think it was either late 2018 or early 2019 Molly and I got married in 2018 So after the wedding we had the wedding bill at the time believe it or not. I owned a car We had moved into our previous house in 2018. So I paid those things off. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna pay this stuff off get out of debt. I just am tired of being in debt

Let's just pay off these things and I paid off my student loans from college Which was like eight years old at that point and I I was just, so I paid off a lot of debt. And then the YouTube adpocalypse hit in 2019. Boy, oh boy. There was a point in 2019 where I had a savings account, my personal checking account, and my business checking account. And I had $12 between those three accounts. Gotta consolidate that. And I remember getting paid by, I think it was like Google's AdSense or whatever the hell it was, I got paid. And then Dana, who's been editing for me for almost 10 years, she and I got paid immediately.

And then I had no money in the business. So I immediately put the money, I got paid back. So I was like, I got to make sure Dana can get paid next month. But all of 2019 was such a financial struggle of like, I've got to pay myself. I've got to make sure Molly and I can do this and that. I got to pay an editor and we are making no money. And it was so stressful. It was the most financially scary time of my life. Like we've, I've struggled growing up financially before with like my family and stuff,

but having someone like depending on me for income just added a whole other layer of stress to it. So 2019, that was also the year of the Drowned Man where we had all the house issues, just everything that could go wrong that year financially did, but navigating through it and then realizing, man, I gotta stream on Twitch more, I gotta do more,

I gotta find some sponsors, I gotta do some stuff outside of just depending on YouTube revenue. Successfully navigating that year and then realizing I need to like diversify income was the success that came out of it because it kind of was a very, I would say humbling experience. Cause it's not like I was like,

oh, we're never gonna have an issue again. It was just one of those things where I was like, man, I gotta be smarter about when I pay things off, making sure I keep a certain amount saved here, try to prepare like what if things do go wrong like that again? What if you know YouTube or Twitch or whatever else? What if I'm just done one day? It led to me being a lot more responsible and like talking to people and having a plan in place for stuff like that if it ever happens again. So that struggle was terrible but it ultimately led to like hopefully a stronger infrastructure now.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's very real. Big win. Big ups. Big ups bank accounts. Big ups beans. You know the rules.

Is that Southern, what was the name, Bevo? That's as British as I could go for whatever reason. Big ups, O'Dire, Govna. Big ups, Paps, Blue Ribbon. You know the rules, ain't it? Anyway, that was good. My big success of the past five years, I think you guys probably know, is Unisonus.

There cannot be anything that, it might be the peak of my career, I have no idea. It probably was. The idea was crazy. Very few people at first really understood it, but I had a feeling, you know, me and Ethan, we had a feeling that at the end of it, the idea would be understood. And that success of like the full year of effort towards that. And then through COVID as well, when that started, those smack dab in the middle, straight in the middle of the dab of in Unisonis,

and still getting through that and having it work at the end and leaving such an impact on people and those that got it really got it and those that didn't like didn't and even now you know people still are you still it doesn't matter you can't do anything but it's like you can't preserve the feeling of being there like that's that's always been the thing of it. Like you cannot preserve the knowledge and the memory of experiencing it. And of course people that didn't really experience it don't understand it because they weren't there. You know, they they couldn't get it. But the feeling when it actually all went down in the final live stream, that's success. That was incredible success. Dose honest win. Huh? Dose honest win. Do it? Dose Honest win. Do it again! Ignore the lesson! Do it again! Ignore the lesson! No, it is... I have gushed about Unisense before. I was

there when you clicked the button, when the three of you put your fingies on the trackpad and clicked the button and then waited to see what happened. It's really funny to me now because there are there are YouTube accounts and TikTok accounts where people have harvested the content that you guys made and still like repost clips and things and it it's out there people stealing content no way the even for me who where I watched I watched I must have watched almost every single one of those videos I was like very invested in it as the Unisonus went on watching them now in the context of like someone's re-uploading it years later, it's not even close. It feels like you and Ethan were just

like, let's make a goofy video. And then it's not dissimilar from like other content. But it's the thing you're talking about is like very palpable. If you knew what it was while it was happening and then you see it now and reflect about it. It's very interesting. Yeah, it's something about crossing that threshold together after the journey up to the line is what really, really makes all the difference in the world. And that's kind of like the whole thing is like experiencing it while it's here and appreciating it while it's there.

And once it's gone, it won't come back. That was the whole message. And so it was really beautiful that everyone who really participated in it understood it. And that was millions. So it's like that in and of itself is really cool. But the fact that it resonated with people so well really meant a lot. There's one delivery person who'll never forget it. I remember your breakfast, your sex toy breakfast. I think it was the mailman. Yeah. That was a good moment. That was a fantastic moment. Did you close die with Unus Annus or you've been using that since then? Close? You close?

Oh I oh I don't think I've used it since maybe once or twice I don't it's been a while I forgot about that. The one moment where you were doing it in the I think it was the ublek video or something? Yeah yeah. And then you had done it already and at one point you just looked out you were doing it in the, I think it was the OOBLEC video or something. Yeah. Yeah. And then you had done it already. And at one point you just looked out, you were like, you close. And from behind the camera, Amy's just like, stop. You need to stop the pure actual disgust of like, it's not funny. Stop. I will kill you. But in reality, it's hilarious.

I mean, I always think it's funny. And I think about that a lot, but no, yeah, no, I, it's kind of, I died with it. It was in the moment, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, beautiful. Oh, well, I don't have any big successes in the last five years. What? Oh, I'm not competing. Look, I had a son. He's 20 months old now. I can't be it. He's fine. Well, we'll see. I don't know if he's 20 months old now. I can't be it. He's fine. Well, we'll see. I don't know if he's a success yet. He's already in progress and he's fine, but it sort of depends how I handle it over the

next 17 years of his life. Wouldn't it be nice if there was a thermometer for success? You used to be like, is this working? It needs a little bit more time. Just stick it in your baby like, is this working? Are you a success yet? Talk to me when you're a success. Anyway, are there any that you guys would like to talk about that are outside of the bounds of

Or or and during this episode, did you have any successes you want to talk about anything else? There was one time where I successfully confused a lot of people with the most nonsense video I could ever make. Do you guys remember me making a short video called congratulations? Mm-hmm. No, wait, what is this? So I made a video and I was like experimenting with like YouTube shorts I was like, I let me try to make some shit that seems cryptic and Nonsensical and see how far it goes and it's just likely Congratulations by finding this video. You are now a member of the program and it's like go to swpc so i found this government website that tracks the solar activity and it reports it in very strange information so i told people in this video to go copy that and

put it in the comments so i was trying to like narrow down every trick you could do to get engagement which was like get people to comment get to share, get people to watch all the way through. So I did a couple layers of like, it's a meat bang on like creepy. I'm talking right into the camera. It quick cuts of everything. There's a timer going in the top left the entire time. And I checked back with it. Like I knew when it happened, like it was like going really well shorts. It doesn't matter in terms of financial like shorts. I'll make any money, it's not about anything. But I checked back and like that sumbitch is over a million views, 210,000 comments, you know, 12 and a half million views. And I forgot about it, I forgot about it because I was so much nonsense. Um, but I'm like, ah ha!

And even to this day, people are still confused, but every once in a while people are like, why did I copy the solar wind speed? I don't know what happened. And uh, so, yeah, that's yeah, that's a funny little success. That's, I can't believe I missed that. That's very interesting. I wouldn't be surprised. Do you ever go on shorts? I do. I scroll shorts a lot actually, mostly out of interest. But if you Google Markiplier, congratulations. One of the top things that comes up is a post from the Markiplier subreddit.

And the top comment is is is this the entry Point for an ARG. I can't I can't see any serious clues in the video But I just feel like this month and the next one is so far. It looks like a potential ARG Yeah, I've already noticed a couple things. I'm working on making a discord help document some stuff It's a specific time overlay 133 54 as well as the text chrome transparency within a frame of the video Mark is really good at hottie stuff, but I'm really good at finding stuff. It's not a lot of people having this conversation, but I fucking love that. Yeah, so that was pretty much it.

It was just like, just people think that I'm a lot more clever than I am. And I think my biggest success is fooling people into thinking. Mine's always dumb shit, man. You know one for me, when we did sons of the forest, I threw fucking logs at you and I just went, ha, yeah, I get more requests to high. Yeah. Then anything else that is the meme people want more of.

They're like, dude, I need you guys to play sons of the forest. I need more high. Yeah. In my life. Do you know why I don't play that game with you anymore? Because of the fucking annoying ass Hi-Ya bullshit. Dude, it is the most popular part of my brand now. Yeah, have fun with it. It's all yours.

I will trick you into playing that. I'm gonna disguise that game under some of those big marks. Let's launch some Uno. You're gonna click it. It's gonna open Sons of the Forest. And I'm gonna Hi- all the fuck out of you. And I'll be trapped. You'll have no way out. No logging out. I'm gonna disable your alt-f4s. I didn't realize that's what I was, quote,

recently I've been playing Elden Ring, the seamless co-op mod. I've been playing with some friends, Elden Ring, and it's been really fun. And out of nowhere, from the depths of my mind, whenever I started launching myself into fights and stuff, I would come riding in on my horse because I'm like always behind because I'm slow and stupid I'd come riding it out of nowhere and I was just repeatedly

just be like I was doing that I had no fucking idea why it's because that was somewhere in my brain thanks to you thank you Wade you probably got it from a movie five years ago. It's actually from the Adam Sandler, the 1993 Adam Sandler movie, Hi-Ya. I'm not the first person to Hi-Ya, but I made it cool. It's actually an homage to a 1982 comedy thriller called Hi-Ya, sort of a misread of the title. And it's kind of like Rocky Horror Picture Show. People watch it and they scream at the screen and they throw cans of like Rocky Horror Picture Show. People watch it and they scream at the screen and they throw cans of beans. It's confusing, but you-

We should make a Rocky Horror Picture Show-esque movie where it's just something so unexpected that people watch it and they're like, what the fuck? By the end of it, they have no idea what happened to those. Like, what the fuck? I think if the three of us attempted to make a movie together, that's basically the only result I can see happening.

Yeah, me too. A cult classic that three people like. And also, Mark might never talk to us again or Kill us both in the end as part of the movie. We just actually throw stuff out of and yell hi You can cuss me and get on video very funny My name is Johnny Knoxville and we're about to do nutbees My name is Johnny Knoxville and we're about to do nutbees What a moment that's it those are my secret ones that's my secret one that's it well Thank you for engaging my topic. I always appreciate it. Wait, did you even listen today? You pay attention you listened you responded

I did like a like a human being honestly pretty off-putting. I miss the old way who never listened to a single thing Yeah, I might have to go take my temperature might be sick. Yeah, pretty off-putting. I miss the old Wade who never listened to a thing or thing. Yeah, I might need to go take my temperature. I might be sick. Yeah, that's weird. But anyway, there you go. Those are all of our successes. Everything else in life that has happened was not a success because we talked about all of them today and we really covered it comprehensively. Mark, you earned points for Havada Nevada. Nya ha ha! I don't know what the fuck that was. You make me explode. World domination. Which I think was the sound of his crotch going over the bar. Yeah yeah yeah. Incredible steak. Wow it's a movie. Heroin murder, sperm mark,

unis anus, and congratulations. Thank you, thank you. Wade, today you earned points for Mocking Education in the West Ohio Elvis Poop Death Chris Bow Quaker Steak Lust Yeah, okay, Keaton.

Keaters, yeah, okay, Keaters. Dickerus Successful Trip Home Food Being More Important Than Family Happy Mouth Hole Sperm Dad Didn't Go Destitute and hi-yah! I wanna go to Quaker Steak and Lust.

I feel like that was a fantastic experience. Anyway, Mark, you earned a grand total of 17 points for all of that. And Wade, it's very sloppily written, but it looks like you earned a grand total of 18 points. I won? We're not playing golf rules even though I did threaten to do that without warning at some point in the future but we're playing high score wins today so with a total of 18 points Wade is the winner. High score as in hi-yah? Hi-yah! Mark's favorite meme that's why we're all gonna play

Sons of the Forest together real soon. Uh-huh, yeah. Do you guys know why we never progress in games ever? It's probably Mark's fault. He gets too bogged down in the details of how to do things or find stuff. Weren't we still in base, like we didn't even get very far.

We were just still in base building mode, weren't we? I was trying. I was building a very important and difficult rock wall around our knot base and I was really stuck. I was bringing materials. My delivery method was just, hi y'all, but I was bringing stuff. You would throw the materials directly at the buildings. And the builders. Well, what is this, real life?

The logs knock over buildings made of sticks and tarp? What the hell kind of thing is that? That's a bullshit. You need us and you know it. I have a solo series. You're never gonna finish that game on your own. You're gonna get stuck and you're gonna come begging to us to come help you finish it. Uh huh.

Anyway, Wade, congratulations. Give your winner speech. I would just like to say thank you, Bob, for a good episode. Thank you to whatever forces of nature have gotten me home through this crowd strike stuff because my God, the airports are a disaster. This was a fun one. I look forward to the next one where I'm definitely full of ideas

and have something very much prepared. That's definitely true. And I'll see you then. Mark, loser speech. My successes are insurmountable, only comparable to my failures. And that is what today is if we have to equate everything in life as balanced as all things should be.

All of my successes mean that this failure is just as big, and I feel so terrible I retire effective immediately. Uh oh. Mark wins in a surprise twist. Don't worry about it, buddy. It was just a gag. He's the Wookie of our podcast. We let him win, so it continues. worry about it, buddy. It was just a gag. He's the wookie of our podcast We let him win so it continues. No, no, no, it's time. I I step out of distractible

I it's my time is too too much. Yeah, my time is done. It's over next week. My replacement will be here Everyone, please welcome Matt Pat to the podcast He will be joining and taking over my place that That would be a good upgrade. Or that'd be a side, that'd be a lateral move. That'd be a lateral, that'd be a downgrade. That would be sad. That would be awful. We're gonna miss you, buddy. That's what he's saying, I think.

Uh-huh. Aw, y'all. Okay. Thanks everybody for watching, listening. Congratulations to Wade. He's gonna be the host of the next one. We have merch, distractablestore.com, Markiplier, LordMiniion777, MySkirm.

Podcast out.