Distractible - Parlor Games

Episode Date: October 14, 2024

It's all fun and games until the sweaty lawyers come out and Wade's camera cuts out. NOTE: This episode was recorded months prior, but is being released now to work with the host schedule. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. Monopoly Double Play is back at McDonald's and it's easy to get into the win. There are millions of prizes to be won, including a new chance to win cash every minute in the app. Get into the game with Monopoly Double Play at McDonald's. While supplies last, 1 in 5 chances to win Game Peace prizes at outset. Chances to win Double Play prizes based on time of code entry, and draw prizes based on number of entries in each draw. See rules in app. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable.

This episode, bra-wearing Bob resurrects cunning linguistic play and gets the gents into the fray. Maladroit Mark advises profuse prison pouches, peen cleaning, and argues with the arbiter for his ally. Weighty Wade judges on moisture levels, might be ugly and is oft accidentally on the nose. From deeply illegal dampness, to syllable smashing silliness. Yes! It's time for...

Parlor Games. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to another episode of Distractable. I just can't stop winning, which is why I just can't stop being host, because that's how the show works. This week I'm joined by Mark and Wade, like literally every other episode we've ever done, and they're going to be competing to see who gets to post the next one, because if they win they can post the next one, that's how it works. And other other than that there aren't really any rules except for our Constitution which we ignore anyway

But we don't though we follow it very strictly or not. It's hard to say. Hey, what's up guys? How you doing? How you been great? I'm gonna take initiative this episode because I learned that can earn you points with mark And that was a mark thing. with Mark and maybe my initiative will give me points and his mouth is very open and I hope it stays that way during the duration of my assumedly small talk I've got here. You earn no points but go ahead. He really counter spelled me as I was going for it. I did I was not going to lose the initiative point two episodes in a row.

I learned my lesson. Olympics can grew hops just in case mom I'm penis so small talk I learned last episode you guys are like wait you talk about hibachi and Diablo a lot so I'm bringing something to the table that is neither one of those things you know what that is hibachi football is back football we're in the preseason my favorite sports team which is the Cincinnati Bengals and we've only had one season ending injury and two other minor injuries that are somewhat concerning and it as of the time i'm saying this we've only had like one or two preseason games so by the time we get through four we might still have a team baby! Woooooo! Can't wait! Football is almost back!

Don't count on it! I'm not. I'm very pessimistic when it comes to football. I try to be realistic. Maybe being realistic is being pessimistic sometimes, but when it comes to football, I always think things are going to go horribly wrong and yet I'm always excited going into the season like everyone else. Idiot. This is our year! No chiefs three Pete. It's who they nation baby. Bro. Juro is going to take us to the top. Bro. Juro. We're going to ride that donkey slowly into the canyon of despair and he's going to bring us out on the other side. He is. And Mark, have you seen the Cincinnati quarterback this year? Look at him. He looks just like Eminem. No, we did talk about that on a previous time. We did talk about that. He still does. Yeah,

he still looks like that. Turns out hair takes longer than a week to grow. I mean, you could get it dyed a different color. I'm bald. That's it. Let's all talk. All right. That's a bald point for Wade, I guess. Water. No, that's Mark's thing. Damn it. You're only bald to me. You're nothing else. I am going to use my time to not talk about myself, but to talk about a hilarious article. I talked about football, which isn't myself either, but for the record. That's fair. So I'm going to follow in Wade's big, big footprints, and I'm going to read you the title of this article. Innocent looking attorney charged with smuggling into prison. And I'm going to show you a picture of this article. Innocent looking attorney charged with smuggling into prison. And I'm gonna show you a picture of this attorney.

Well he looks innocent. I will let you and all of our lovely viewers at home judge the innocence of this attorney for yourself. I mean, okay. He's very wet looking. I know there's so much going on in this picture. There's a lot of wet. I do associate the amount of wetness with innocence.

The wetter you are, generally the more innocent you are. Is this the journalist's assessment that this person looks innocent? I think I have to be real, the actual title of the article is not that, but the title that someone attributed to it when they posted it was that. And I just, I was like, innocent looking attorney, what is that? And then I clicked it, looked at this face joining me. I don't have to say anything other than like, I'm not trying to like, disparage the appearance of this particular attorney. It's just like, this is the least innocent looking photo I've ever seen in my life. And that just made me laugh. It definitely looks like he knows you caught him.

There is so much moisture. It's not even like, he's not going to put up a fight. This is the picture of the look right before he's like, yeah, okay, here you go. I had a phone up my butt and I've done it before, officer. This is where everything comically falls out of his suit jacket right after he goes like it wasn't me carton of cigarettes the picture is from like chest up if you like zooms out and around his waist you just see like the outline under his clothes of like a

cell phone a file like a shovel just comical prison break stuff. Attorney Tommy Jarns weighed 102 pounds yesterday but came into the prison today weighing 304. Oh, oh you know, you know man. Went to FOGO last night and just couldn't help myself, you know. I sometimes you gain a couple hundred pounds because you eat a whole sword full of meat. What are you gonna do? I just want to know I don't care about what he smuggled what he was doing illegally. Why is he so wet? That's the thing. I don't think it's all sweat

But what else could it be like there's some random spots on the outer part of the jacket His hair is wet But only on the sides of his head those those are dri. As a person who sweats profusely in almost every circumstance, I will say that the wetness on the top of his shoulder lapel area, those are just drips. You can see he's got like longer sort of hair coming down the side there. That's drips, that happens.

But the top of his head looks dry, his forehead looks dry. That's a lie, that's a lie. The dampness is deep yeah because if you think about the way your head sweats the top of your hair doesn't get wet because water doesn't like climb that much that's i see yeah i guess that's true the capillary action of your hair is not enough to like soak all of your hair but it goes it starts on your scalp and then it goes down and it seeps but his face and his neck don't look like he's got sweat beads rolling down at all. He probably has a handkerchief wedged in somewhere.

Yeah, they're going down. You can see him traced in. Let me see if I could zoom in for you. Let's get some more detail here. See, you got rivulet coming down there. Oh, okay. On the zoom in? Yeah, now I see it.

Yeah, on the forehead. No, that's just drips. That's, look, I don't know if I've ever looked as innocent as this person In my day-to-day goings on but I've definitely looked as sweaty as they look I did not see the head sweat. So now it makes more sense. He's very sweaty I mean look at his chest his upper chest is soaked through it. I know that I saw that right away That's a heavy sweat man. I've been there. This, however, it seems like he was hit with a water cannon because if you notice this dry spot in the center,

his tie must have been blocking it. No, it's cause that's four layers of fabric. As a person who wore a lot of suits in law school in the South when it was a hundred plus degrees out, the last part of the front of your shirt to get wet, especially because if you have your collar done up, that part of the strip of buttons often doesn't even make contact with your skin depending on how your shirt fits

that's doubled over fabric layered over itself that's just it's wet underneath 100% okay he's very sweaty let's let's i'll just i'll accept the fact that he's sweaty i know about sweating in suits all right let's ask this question is he sweaty because of nerves is he sweaty because of the heat or because of the amount of things probably shoved uncomfortably into orifices that he's trying to bring into prison as a face of a man who's losing the battle to keep his butthole close to the cartons of cigarettes are in his intestines right now yes officer I just really need to get inside it My clients my many clients need me anyway, so I just wanted to share that

For all of you to enjoy. I don't know the name of this man. I didn't read the article trouble Yeah, I think if he was actually caught smuggling stuff in or into or out of prison That's not great for like grace. You can't break people out of prison. You can't break for like- Great, so you can't break people out of prison, you can't break things into prison. What can you do at prison? That's not great for law license and freedoms. All right. I have a picture of all the items

that he had on his person. Oh no, is it a lot? I hope it's like the Joker where it's just like all playing cards, like a whole bunch just random shit. Hold on, hold on, let me get this framed up for you guys He had pocket lint but it was inside of his anus Uh actually no he had um all of this Which seems to be about 500 cigarettes

Um a whole bunch of weed I think there's multiple multiple bags of marijuana What are those rolling papers? What is all that stuff? The things at the bottom are cigarrillos Oh, okay And then in the center might be rolling paper for making marijuana cigarettes Two phones, a thingamabob and wires That looks like a scale is what that looks like. Oh, like a mini scale, maybe.

He's like for whoever that giant bag of weed is for. So you can weigh it out when you're dealing weed in jail. I hope all of that was in the briefcase, but he wasn't carrying that briefcase. That briefcase was what was shoved up his ass. Anyway, that's quite a bit of stuff to hope you get through with no questions asked. I mean, I'm sure he wouldn't admit it, but

do you think he's done this before and he just happened to get caught this time? Or do you think this is a first try? There's no way you haven't done this before and you start with that much and you're like, go big or go home! That's a big first try, I agree, I agree. You don't know to vacuum pack your cigarettes without having done it before.

This feels experienced. I mean, that'd be my guess. If someone was like, you have to try and smuggle something into a prison, my first guess would be like, well, you probably, you wanna airtight seal it, right? Because they probably have a dog or something. Okay. I would start with vacuum sealing in a lot of cases. I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have either. For either for liquid purposes or I would have had raw cigarettes, not even

in a package right up my anus. Couldn't you have your own pack of cigarettes? You could have that right now. You can't bring that that you leave that in like a locker outside when you go to visit you don't not allowed to bring nothing. They're real strict about prison stuff man. I don't know why. Yeah it's like this is my butcher knife I always carry this with me. I'm a lawyer chef. That's my belt file in case I need to get my belt off quickly and I can't get my hands to the buckle. I have a nervous attorney. I smoke a lot of this just for me during the interview. I smoked three cartons a day. This isn't even a full day's supply. So that's, that's my, not my small talk.

At least he looked in. What was the actual name of the article? The actual name of the article was Mississippi attorney accused of bringing contraband into correctional facility, which is way less fun than innocent looking attorney charged with smuggling into prison. I love innocent looking attorney. Can we can we petition? What state was this? Mississippi. Mississippians. We need to make a petition to change the name of this article. You can take it up with 12 news. WJTV focused on you. Let's petition them to change the name of the article officially to innocent looking man Why is their news channel bump a morning zoo style bump? I don't know that's focused on you WJTV and that's the way the cookie crumbles

It's very edgy news It's focused on you. That's what it is Yeah, I know reporters have like taglines and stuff. Does any of them have like inappropriately funny ones do you think? Probably. Like there's a guy on the nightly news that's like, and of the 56 passengers on board, unfortunately only two survived a huge tragedy at the airport tonight. And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

This is Jack Rafferty. If that don't tickle your taintumbles. This is Jack Rafferty If that don't tickle your taint this has been Jack Rafferty and that's what's going on in your neighborhood I sniff glue and I'll sniff you Jack Rafferty signing out if there's a real reporter named Jack Rafferty I'm really sorry. That's out of my ass random. Yes. Is that a real person? I hope not. I don't want someone Jack Rafferty I mean, it's definitely a person named Jack Rafferty in the world but like... Jack if you're watching listen we're not trying to call you out we don't really know we're just... Raffman hey! What's the tagline on all the the Thriller music video? Any resemblance to the occult or real persons now or in the future is coincidence. Okay Jack Rafferty is apparently a boxer and also he's

a character in Sin City. That's the last person I want to piss off Well, let's see if he's got well, let me check his record and then we'll see how much we could make fun of him Okay. Yeah, that's fair police record or boxing record. He's 28. I don't even know I think even a bad boxer I might I won't stand good terms with I don't think I'm he's from the UK He his record is 23 and oh never lost 14 knockouts He's alias is the demolition man Five nine, you know doesn't say the weight. How does it not say the weight? That's the key thing about boxers. It doesn't say the weight. It's what weight class they're in. Look

I don't know what to tell you. It doesn't say the weight. He's the weight champion of the world I find all covers He's the weight champion of the world. I find all covers He's got a Wikipedia page. Let me look. No, he doesn't it was redirected from a human 805-331 he Jack Rafferty is human 805-331 guys the simulation is cracking. They didn't cover that one. The truth is coming out. Don't open your eyes. He Yep, he has no weight. So he's a cyborg You're right Sideboard welterweight. There it is. He's a welterweight welter which is welterweight, which is fairly light

Well welterweight, he's the guy who sells the blue meth, right? 147 pounds. What a baby. What were we calling him Jack Rafferty? He was a news guy. This wasn't an insult at all Why were we mr. Waite because he had an inappropriate tagline was why it was He was talking about people dying in a tragic thing and then you that's the way the cookie Crumpling glue and sniffing you it's just not a good. It's not a good look. It's not a professional, you know, I Don't want to imply that I saw a clown drown in a pool once and he just floated Jack Rafferty sending it It's that his sign off. I stole that from a bill hater one of his SNL skits where he makes fun of a dateline I mean if you think about it like with

Bob Barker it was like always spaying new to your pets. I always remember to clean your foreskin everybody It's a fun game show. Maybe it's a fun new segment. It was fun boxing segment. Well not your version but the other. Thanks for watching Wheel of Fortune. Make sure you wash your taints you filthy animals. This is... Pop that pussy. Jack Rafferty out. You guys want to see the picture of the attorney again? There he is. Can we put him through like that AI filter that makes people smile and let's see what a smile looks like. Ooh. I'll work on that while you start the episode. I'll get this smiling.

Oh, yeah. I thought we were recording. I thought we were just chatting. Yeah, no, we're just messing around. No, that's good, because that's sort of the mood for today. We're just messing around. We're just playing games. I'm going to be really honest.

I mean, these are games that lots of people play, but I saw another podcast do this episode and I thought it was really funny and I thought you guys would enjoy it and it was the basement yard I saw clips of it and so lots of people have done this they're not even the first ones but I should I don't know I felt like I should credit people anyway we're gonna play parlor games guys has ever played parlor games is that where you get your head shades and you play cards while it happens? You'd be really good at that but no. They're basically like word riddle games.

So there's some kind of rule and you guys have to figure it out and there's some different ones so they're going to work differently. But basically I'm going to say some stuff and you might need to say some stuff or you might need to just make guesses. And if you know the game ahead of time, maybe just play along and don't ruin it for the rest of us. Okay, but I have a suspicion you guys might not know. And-

Can I ask a question before we get started? When you said word association games, it made me think of like, I spy with my little eye. I didn't say word association games. I'm good at listening But did you say whenever you guys would play that game as a kid? Would you say like I spy with my little eye or would you do we had a version was riddle II diddle II D I see something you don't see in the color of it is your head must just be a wonderful place to hang out What the fuck?

What version of like I spy did you guys play we played I spy where you say I spy with my little eye Something that is okay. You didn't riddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle II diddle iSpy version. I was like, wait, they don't know the Riddle-ly Diddle-ly IDD? What's the game called? Did you still call it iSpy? I don't remember. Cause I feel like if you still called it iSpy, the answer is self-evident. If it's iSpy or Riddle-ly-D. Did anyone else out there play that version?

I'm sure there maybe is someone, but I- not- not us. I have an update. Yes? I'm gonna share my screen. Okay You guys remember our friend the attorney yes, I got him smiling. Oh It's a slow oh that's a nice smile though, that's nice, right? It's not at all unsettling and is mostly nice Anyway, that's it. All right, bye parlor game Fiddle my D. I see something you don't see Something for you to see

Okay, okay, okay Guys, we're gonna play a game called green glass door and it's a simple game. It's about there's the door It's imaginary so glass or grass door glass makes more sense green glass door And the whole point of the game is to figure out what things We can bring through the door and I'll start and I want you guys are gonna have to try to figure out what you can Bring through the door. Okay. This is so close to the attorney story. I know, right?

This is he played this game and he lost. So you better be careful. Okay. So, so I'm going to go through the door. I am going to bring feet, but not shoes. Did we tell you you're allowed or what? What do we know? I'm telling you, I can bring feet, but I cannot bring shoes when I go through the door

And so now we're basically I want to go around and you you have to try and make a statement where you say I can Bring thing but I cannot bring other thing it has to be correct statement. Okay, so we're guessing right now What we can yes based on what you brought there is a rule that you're trying to discern and I will tell you if you're correct or Incorrect or what and I want you to figure out the rule That's the game. I Can bring ants? But not pants can't bring either of those. Okay, I bring hands but not glove

That was the obvious one. No can't bring either of those the R is still That's why I didn't pick it cuz I knew it'd be dumb I Am going to bring... uh... sunglasses... but not shades. I'm going to bring... a brain... but not a skull.

Actually, that's backwards. You could bring a skull, and you definitely cannot bring a brain it's a chapstick container thing it's about chapstick he's on the chapstick thing this is not a game I invented this is a game I keep thinking mark keep thinking he's trying to circumvent the chapstick thing uh-huh I'm out of the subreddit maybe I'm going to bring despair but not hope you can't bring either but I appreciate the sentiment can't bring either of those. But I appreciate the sentiment. I see what you're getting at. All right.

Let me go. I'll go in a different direction. I'm going to bring weed but not alcohol. You guys seem like you're really close. So if you figure it out, don't just blurt it out. Okay, we want to give the other person a chance to catch up. Oh, so close. Oh, yeah. I'm sure you're right at you're right there keep trying i'm i'm going to bring yep i'm going to bring i'm gonna bring poop but not a septic system

You that's correct Yeah, that's correct. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm going to bring road but not head No, you can't bring either of those. Sorry Great, I am going to bring a broom, but not a dust pan. One that doesn't fit right now in my brain is sunglasses and shades. It's a simple rule. Mark, if you get another correct answer,

you're free and we could sit here together and laugh at Wade while he suffers. Oh, good, good good good. I'm gonna bring grass but not a lawnmower That's correct mark I think you have no idea why it's correct, so we're gonna keep going No I know I just can't blur it out Okay yeah don't blur it out We know Mark knows clearly he does So we're gonna keep going We know mark knows

Man who knows yes, of course I'm going to bring deal Yep, but not slippers Unfortunately, that's incorrect because you could bring both of those. Obviously, Wade, don't you get it? Archie, you're getting closer, Wade. I can feel you making progress.

I am going to bring happiness, but not sadness. Actually, I can bring, you know what, I'm wrong. Wait a second. Wait, I didn't think it all the way through. I'm wrong. That's incorrect. I could bring both of those. I could bring happiness and sadness. So I'm just as dumb as you got. Well, look, I've got the rules right in

front of me and I still messed up. So, you know. Obviously, man, you don't need to act dumb to help him feel better. Here, I'll act dumb. I'll act dumb to make him feel better. All right, Mark, give us, give us another correct answer, Mark. I believe you. I believe in you. No, no, I don't. Give us another correct answer Mark. I believe you. I believe in you. No, no, I don't- I like- Oh, we're all goofing here. I got one I think. I'm gonna bring light, but not the sun. I'm sorry, you can't bring either of those. See, I was just being dumb.

Wait, come on. You know what the deal is, near. Yeah. I'm going to bring sass, but not spores. That's correct. That's correct. Oh, you get it now. I think? I don't know. That's excellent. That's very good. Uh, I am going to bring teenagers, but not adults. I'm going to bring...

I'm going to bring... A cow! But not milk! I'm sorry you can't bring either of those, buddy. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Well, I'll cross that off my list of possibilities. Now I definitely know what it is. You're just narrowing it, you're hoeing it in so you know specifically what the rule is.

Wade? I'm going to bring moose, but not nose. That is correct! You can bring moose and then nose is not allowed. I am going to bring... ... I am going to bring wheels, but not tires. Uh-huh. That's the face of a man who knows what he's about to say.

Confident, correct answer, and you guys both figured this game out. Let's go, buddy I'm going to bring I'm going to bring Just come on you got it you're right there. I'm gonna bring but not I'm gonna bring what okay wait. How about I'm gonna bring I'm gonna bring I'm gonna bring- what? Okay, wait. How about I'm gonna bring- I'm gonna bring- I'm gonna bring water, but not rain? I'm sorry, you can't bring either of those. That is incorrect. Wade, do you want to give him something to help him out? Yeah, I'm gonna bring spoons, but not forks. That's a good one. That's a good one. You can bring spoons. I'm also gonna throw this out there. We can keep going on this game if you want to try and figure it out, Mark, but every

correct answer that Wade gives is earning him more points. And if you want to throw in the towel and have me either give you a hint or give you the game, we can do that, but it will potentially cost you. Is he fake frozen or real frozen? He's fake frozen. He's thinking. You see if I can give you one that'll help you out. Uh, I am gonna bring pool but mop but not pond.

I'm gonna bring pussy but not pop. That's correct. Yeah, I knew it would be. You can bring pussy. Maybe I don't know the rule as well as I thought, because I would have thought you could bring pop. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha not gonna bring poll. That's correct. You can bring tools, you cannot bring poll, that's correct. You don't think you know the answer? I mean, I think I do. Should I just say what I think it is?

Mark, do you wanna go again before I take a guess? I think I know what it is, but now, yeah, I think I know. We'll put two points in the air. You both say what you think it is. If you're both correct. Do you want us to message you or say it out loud? Let's just do honor rules. Let's just say it, just don't change your answer.

Whatever you think it is right now, then say that and Wade, you go first. What I originally thought was you had to say something that had two of the same letter or more and you couldn't say something that didn't have a repeat letter but popped through me off. So I'm guessing it has to be vowels or S's? Mark, what do you think the rule is? Two letters on the inside of the word that are the same and then the other one does not. That's why shades wouldn't work but sunglasses would. Yeah that's what I was thinking. Okay you're both wrong so I'm gonna do another example. I am going to bring a tree but not bushes. I really thought one of you guys was going to have the right answer

okay the two letters thing though that's been a a real common theme yeah i mean what if what if i brought i've brought sunglasses weed feet now i'm bringing tree i think i know the rule now i think the two letters just have to be together somewhere in the word anywhere in the word just two letters have to be next to each other s's's, O's, E's, it doesn't matter as long as they're touching. But there's another part of the rule because the other because it there are some things that you can bring and can't bring but then he said he said you can bring tires but not wheels and that one doesn't make sense. Other way around you can bring wheels but not tires. No I brought wheels but not tires. Wheels EE is next to each other.

They said tires but not wheels that's is next to each other. They said tires, but not wheels That's why I was so confused because I I thought you said tires, but not wheels I think I said wheels but not tires. I got down that I said wheels wheels and tires. Okay. All right, okay You might be ready tires. I mean sunglasses can't bring shades. Mm-hmm I can so it's too late to think but one other, there has to be another rule for what can't be there. All right. This is being semantic, but that's not correct. Do you want me just tell you what the rule is? Yes. At this point, yes, please.

It needs to be a double letter anywhere in the word. Technically, I guess I was in unclear what you meant by the letters need to be inside. The the tree has two E's at the end of the word. They're not inside the word. Yeah. It just needs to be two letters, double letters right next to each other. That's what he said. That's what he said.

That's not what he said though. My follow-up guess was that one. He said, what was the one? You said pop threw you off because it had two P's in it, but they're not next to each other. So originally I guessed wrong. It's not just two of the same letter in the word. It's two letters next to each other. Yeah, I guess wrong and Mark guessed wrong.

And then when we went back through, we did one more. I said, okay, they just to be two letters touching. Yeah, Wade's newest guess, Wade's latest guess is correct. Wait, I was under the assumption of what he was saying was they had to be adjacent. That was a given that they must be adjacent. It's not a given. That's not what he said. That's what he said. And that's what I was saying was they had to be adjacent. That was a given that they must be adjacent. It's not a given. That's not what he said. That's what he said. And that's what I was thinking anyway. When he became wrong, I was like, ah, there must be specificity of where those two letters should be. Mark is arguing that he did know it and on what happened.

I'm arguing that Wade knew it because he said Pop threw him off. So his guess was that it wasn't that. It must not be that. He said two of the same letters next to each other. That's what he said pop threw him off so his his guess was that it wasn't that it must not be that he said two of the same letters next to each other that's what he said and you said that was wrong pop threw him off because i couldn't bring pop yes and that's why he qualified his guess to just be the two letters and the other one could not be and then you said that wasn't it and so i was like okay it must be specificity of where those two letters are and i was like wait i feel like you and i both understand what you said. And Marcus, I'll give him the points if you want.

Yes, because I was operating the assumption. My guess, my guess was still the same. But because you said he was wrong, I was operating on the assumption that he was guessing the two same letters next to each other because that's what it was. I did not feel misled there. I just my original thought was like, okay, you just have to have two letters in the word. So like pop would count because you got P and P. Stop would not because there's just no repeating letters. Stops would work.

Originally, I would have thought. However, I learned no. Sassy would work because you have the SS or Stoop would work because you have the OO. So I eventually got there. But originally, I just thought it was any, like you have to have any letter twice. When I first was guessing, that's what my thought was, was just you had to have two of the same letter

anywhere in the word, not necessarily next to each other. And that may have been what you said, but I was operating the assumption that you knew they had to be next to each other. I did not originally. Therefore, when he said you were wrong, thinking that he understood that you meant two letters next to each other because that's what my guess was too. And then you know what? Two points for Wade for being correct, apparently, but also a point to mark for sportsmanship.

That's just good sportsmanship. I think Judge Judy is pretty close. Okay, wait gets two points markets one point for being a good sport and giving Wade two points. I still want to understand. Is it two letters together or just two letters in the same word it's together. It's two letters together anywhere in the world it doesn't it's listen look you both basically had it if I'm honest I'm not sure even what I said let alone if I and more weight gets two points in markets one well let's play the next game. This game is challenge.

I don't have any red flags left uh technically when we have the hot tub boat episode i think that refreshed everything because the boat that's the thing i'll save it i want to make sure i know what i'm challenging before i challenged i still don't even i couldn't even describe accurately what the challenge would be it doesn't matter it doesn't matter because the next game is going to really this is different ridley diddyD. It's not a real thing. I feel like you looked into it and it just doesn't count. Ridley diddley look at me pee.

Is that what you said? Ridley diddley IDD. I see something you don't see. Ridley diddley diddley here I am. Watch me pee. I have a story and you have, but I can't just tell you the story. You have to get it out

of me by asking yes or no questions. And you can ask me any question you want, but you have to ask me yes or no questions. And this is not like the 20 questions where I'll give you a wishy washy. I will tell you yes or no, or possibly maybe, but the maybes get no explanation. The maybes, the maybes will just come up when they, if they come up, that's a thing. It's a story that you experienced. This is a real story that happened. So odds are you've told it on this podcast before. Got it. I have not. This has never come up on the podcast and it's, it's, this is, this can be investigative. The point is not for you to get, the point is not what the story is. The point is the game. We're trying to figure out the rules of the game, right?

We start and we alternate. Sure. OK, Mark goes first since I think I screwed him out of points last time, or I'm not sure. It doesn't matter who goes first. Did he did you have any context to what the story is about? Is that my question? That's your question. And no, who was there? That's why. Oh, that's not it. Oh, I'm panicking. Hold on.

Were you alone? Yes. Were you afraid? No. Were you naked? No. Do you wish you were naked? No. Okay. Was it at your house? Yes. Were you in the bathroom? No. Was it in your garage? Yes. Did your car fall on you? Yes. Was it when you were changing a tire? Yes. Did you die? Yes. Okay, wait, hold on. It's are really asking some probing questions here. This is fascinating. Wait, so you did die?

I had to answer that question with a yes. Remember, these are riddles. So there's a rule. The story is irrelevant. The story is perhaps nonsense even, but there's rules as to why I'm telling you what I'm telling you and there are correct rules and incorrect rules. Oh fuck I wasn't playing that game at all I was just asking questions about the story. What did we just try to do? Okay I thought it was fairly clear from the first thing. I was just excited to get some yeses I lost the plot for the yeses. I

mean yeses are good because it gives you information but no's also give you information and you haven't even gotten to maybe yet did you live yes I want to do a give you it's so bad but it's a little early for that I feel like we can do this so you weren't in your garage yes were you dressed? no. I didn't know were you dressed. No. You was in the garage. What the fuck did you ask Mark? You said so you weren't in the garage. I said yes, I weren't. Here I got one. Am I holding up two fingers?

No. Shit. Am I three? Yes. Am I three? Yes. Am I beautiful? No. He didn't ask it right. He didn't ask it right. Am I ugly? Maybe. Did I step out of bounds? Am I not cute? Yes. Interesting question phrasing there. I like it. Am I ugly? No, it's not a word, but I think no is the answer still. Did you see Taken? No. Did you watch Taken? No.

Did you see Taken 2? Yes. I hope you just figured out that would be such a good question to get it on. Am I Buffalo? Yeah. Yeah. Wait a minute. Okay, maybe I don't get it. Have confidence. I believe in you. What do you think of 33? Yes. Is he four no, I guess again, a lot of numbers in here. You want to hint about the numbers? No, I'm not. I'm not obsessed with the number part. I'm doing something else. Okay. Where were you on the night of January 23rd? No. Were you on Darla? Yes. It's not a word association. You're allowed to think about what you ask, but but yes. I have one theory and one theory only right now. I kind of have a theorem. I'm trying to am I big buffalo?

Yes. Am I buffalo wings? No. Am I purple buffalo? Yes. I think I know what it is. I don't know if you do. Bob, were you tree? Yes. I think I know what it is. I don't know if you do Bob. Were you tree? Yes. I think I got it I do too. Okay, can we guess give me a question and tell me if you think the answer is yes No, or maybe I want to test if you're accurate before you give each other any clues in the in whatever the theories might be So the answer to this question is going to be yes I'm trying not to ask a question that we've asked before.

Yeah, no, I guess. Yeah. Is this scandalous? And you think the answer should be yes to that? Yes. Yeah. Incorrect. Oh, making up rules that the Caesar's making it up. They are made up, but they are already made up and they have been the same the whole time. My answer is going to be yes. Do wear a bra that is correct yes this answer is going to be no

are lollipops scrumdiddly umptious no yeah okay all right this is going to be maybe is mark smelly maybe that's correct here's a is going to be a maybe is Wade Stupid I'm sorry the answer to that is no this will be a no is Wade smart. No I'm confident that Wade has a theory that is at least Accidentally, correct. I have no idea because I think you've changed the rules I don't well I'm not gonna say it's impossible that I misspoke because I literally do that in every single episode But I don't think I did because the rules are fairly straightforward and I think Wade has them But I don't want to cut you off mark. I feel like you're really building to something

Well, well I was and now I have no theory. Okay Do you like zebra? I don't know what there's gonna be. Yes. Do you like zebras? No I'm walking in I'm walking in mine Yeah, wait like message it to me or something and well, but Would you like me to answer some questions mark? Yeah, so you've been doing am I a kid? No, am I? Salty maybe am I bright? No. Am I bright? No, but am I edgy? Maybe.

Are you candelabra? Yeah, yeah. Are you a psychologist? No. Are you psycho? Yes. I got nothing, I got nothing, I got nothing. Am I right, Bob, Am I right? Wade is correct

He did figure this one out. What is it? Wait, do you want to explain it? Yeah, you can correct me if I'm wrong If I'm not fully right the last letter of the word the last word has to be a vowel for him to say yes If it's a consonant, he says no if it's a Y He says maybe because whys are sometimes vowels and sometimes consonants. Ah, the name of the game is sometimes Y because sometimes Y is a vowel. There were some crazy coincidences on number of syllables that really threw things off for me and then once that train was gone.

As soon as I said ugly or whatever it was, and he said maybe. It was silly and stupid. And then I was like, okay, there's something. So I was paying attention. I thought what it was afterwards was if there are three consonants at the beginning of the word, it's maybe two consonants in the beginning of the word was

no, and then one consonant and vowel would have been yes. I didn't think about the beginning. Which is why I said psychology because I was like PSY. That's got to be something. No, I could tell both of you guys at different points got really coincidentally the answers you were looking for because you were you would ask a question and I was like yes and you were like oh and I was like that shouldn't have given anything away. I was on a number of letters in the first word of the question for a while.

I was like, OK, odd number. R was yes and even no or something like that. And I was like, and so he has something else marked in completely ruined by idea. I was like, huh, OK. But I got on to you with the whatever the first word is. You gave me a maybe I was like, what the fuck was different about that one than any other one I was like the other thing of is like ends and why Yeah the why it was really the thing if you happen to get onto the why that was kind of the giveaway eventually last game that I really liked and you earned more points than Wade did during the game but Wade earned the points for actually solving the puzzle. I like Are You On Darla?

that was my favorite one. That was a very good one. I liked that a lot. But Mark you earned points for innocent attorney, moisture, Jack Rafferty, terrifying smile gif, poop septic, grass, pussy pop, sportsmanship, am i beautiful, taken two, and purple buffalo. I was really hoping taken two was where you figured it out because that would have been really fucking funny. Well, it was like the syllable count of the last word really did kind of that was where I was like, I got it. That was for the other way it clicked with me. Well Wade you earned points for Football, footballed, ass briefcase, Mississippi petition, sassy spores, moose nose, spoons, forks, tools, pole. Turns

out he was right and solved the puzzle. Mark, you earned a grand total of 10 points and Wade you earned a grand total of 12 points. That seems closer than I would have thought. I gotta get better answers in the middle. Honestly, Mark came back a lot just because in the last one, the am I beautiful questions, the taken questions, and then the purple buffalo really got me. They really tickled me. I thought I had it. Well, unfortunately, that means Wade has to give a winner speech. Wade, what do you have to say for yourself? I think it's very fortunate I have to give a winner speech. I want to stand a little bit of a podium here. I think it's been a while maybe since I hosted, maybe not

that long, I can't remember. But anytime I lose it feels like it's been forever since I have won. I want to give an apology to Shakira who I've not mentioned in a little while and I've seen some beautiful posts from people about Shakira and statues and performances and her SNL appearance and I don't know that she's gotten the spotlight for me she deserves. Queen, we are so back and you're in my thoughts always. And good game or whatever you do. I was curious if something happened with Shakira so I'm glad to hear that that's okay.

I hope not, unless it's good. And luckily for everyone, we get to hear a wonderful loser's speech from Mark. I figured out the rules of the podcast, right? I've deduced it. I've never known those. See the trick is, whoever's hosting is trying to pad out the small talk as much as possible and it keeps the actual competitive part of the game smaller if it's bigger and me coming in with all of this glorious small talk was my undoing because I lost the ability to have more actual rounds to play so from here on out I shall pledge I shall not ever have small talk again

I don't like the sound of that I'll double up my small talk We used every ounce of content I had prepared for this I would if we had less small talk I would have I had nothing Bob you will earn bonus points next episode if you come with lots of small talk to fill in for Mark's missing small talk. Thank you. I'll just make stuff up. You can just ask me yes or no questions and I'll tell you a whole story. I'm going to come in with five minutes of planned game, 55 minutes of small talk space.

Perfect. Well, congratulations, Wade, but congratulations even more so to Mark for figuring out the rules of the podcast. I think that's really going to bear a lot of fruit Going down the line, I think a lot of Mark's victories are coming up in the forthcoming episodes. Make sure you check out our merch at distractablestore.com. Make sure you follow the podcast with the little plus thingy here.

Subscribe or whatever it's called. And then you'll always know when there's new episodes because there's a lot of them, constantly, always more. Also, Mark is Markiplier, Wade is LordMinion777 or Minion777, seven? Three sevens. Embrace these nuts, they're not on camera. Hang on, they're there.

All right, don't show him. Don't show that, don't show that. I am MySkr, I mean, that's the end of the episode. Like we always say, the end of the episode, podcast out.