Distractible - Reading
Episode Date: July 28, 2023Reading? Reading books? Ever heard of it? Mark, Bob, and Wade definitely have. They do it all the time... For sure. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Triangle of fairness. Triangle of
fairness. Triangle of fairness.
Triangle of fairness. Triangle
of fairness.
I'm burning the apple!
Ah!
Wade wins!
I know that I
won the flip and then I won the wheel and I got the-
Bob, you've won one out of like 15 coin flips.
I got the full redemption after all the coin flip stuff.
How did we get back here?
Well, I could change it so it was like,
Tails is Apple and I burned the other one.
So Apple wins.
You're going to arbitrarily change the rules after with a flip?
Yeah, of course.
Mark, that could make someone so angry. Oh, now you're going to do it change the rules after with a flip? Yeah, of course. Mark, that could make someone so angry.
Oh, now you're going to do it.
What if, what if, ooh, here's how we do.
We end the episode on a cliffhanger,
and we don't say who won until the next episode.
People have to listen to the next episode.
That way we can make up for Bob's next fuck-up.
Wow, okay, so, all right. Okay. So, alright. Well.
Oh, blame Wade. Blame Wade. Blame Wade.
Good evening, gentle listener.
And welcome to Distractible.
This week,
it's the least defeat literary extravaganza
you'll ever witness.
Polarizing Mark louses grim
dark tales and revolutionizes
linguistic learning. Bob dislikes
horror and admits that the law
beat the love of graffitied sliced trees out of him.
And wheelie-cunning Wade reveals the hidden kryptonite of AI authors
and how to pass book reviews.
From Pornhammer to criticism repurposing.
Yeah.
It's time for reading.
Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hey, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host, Wade. Why? Because I won. That's pretty much it.
If you've never been here before, it's a show where one of us hosts, the other two compete for points.
The host declares the winner at the end. host the next episode whatever we do in the meantime is
up to well in this case me and i'm joined as always by my two co-hosts mark and pop hi guys
it almost seems like he doesn't want to be the host oh i like hosting the subreddit tells me
i'm the best host it's a it's a lot of work mark you gotta think of a thing i mean he
does have absolute power above any kind of government agency in the world um it is the
most official position uh which is why it's so temporary when it can't last or else that kind
of power would go to your head you gotta have term limits mark you gotta have term limits that's true
how many win limits should we set win limits we set win limits nobody can win more than
me uh i don't think that's constitutional all right win limits are set good thinking boys
which one of us is the judiciary branch i want to be supreme court
when do i get to go on the mega yacht yeah Yeah, okay. All right. So the subreddit is Congress.
I'm the Senate.
You're the judiciary branch.
And then Wade is president.
Yay?
Also, you have to say it right, Mark.
I am the Senate.
Oh, right.
I thought because you went to law school, you were going to say I said judiciary branch wrong.
I was going to be like very confused.
It's actually judiciary. It's judiciary branch. i'm gonna be like very confused it's actually judiciary
it's you judiciary branch put your whole judicy in this it's actually pronounced
you disiary there's someone out there who's in law school right now who's just
meanwhile everyone else is just like man when are they gonna get on with the show
if they think we're gonna get on with anything they have a lot of things coming oh they got a lot of things coming what does that phrase mean
i tell you i tell you what let's google it i'll tell you but what will i tell you i'll tell you
what i'll tell you what for is it short for something used to introduce a suggestion or
to emphasize a statement that doesn't explain it at all no that's what i got i'm not gonna google it
i could i have google open like right there and i have a keyboard and everything tell you what
i'll let you borrow the car if you fill it up with gas it seems like it's a typically followed by a
thing like that where it's like a compromise where it's like i'll let you do this or i'll
i'll say this or i'll do that if i know i know how to use it i'm just saying i don't understand what it
means like it's just a random exclamation i might as well be just going well look at my ass i'll
let you borrow the car if you fill it up with gas we could try to make that the replacement we can
boy look at my ass it's hotter than heck there. I don't know why that got me. Something about that feels way weirder, I guess.
Yeah.
Yes.
I would agree.
You know, if the episode starts with a stupid enough humor, eventually something will make me laugh.
Look at my ass.
It's like a firefighter looking over like a collapsed building.
Well, look at my ass.
So many people died in this horrible
tragedy.
The next time you're out there about to say, I'll tell
you what, try, well, look at my
ass and see if you get the same
reaction. Honestly, you get probably
a way better reaction. I tell
you what doesn't get anyone's attention anymore.
That's all. That's passe. That's
overdone. Look at my ass. Everyone's
going to be like, be like what oh what an
interesting statement you just made i feel like i'll tell you what could be used in any circumstance
like you anyone uses that even like therapy you know someone's trying to get so i'll tell you what
and it's like well look at my ass is this an emotional response or is this like look look at
look at my ass i mean i guess if you're talking to your colorectal doctor, they would be like, sir, I'm about to.
How are you guys doing?
We move in a week.
So you're doing terribly.
Well, we're pretty packed, honestly.
We made one room in our house the room where all the boxes go.
And it's like floor to ceiling, like half full of stuff.
How would you do that, you magician?
We put them there
with our arms.
Look at my ass. It was not easy.
It kind of works.
We move next Thursday.
We pack everything and then the next
Friday, Mandy flies and then
everything's
really good and I'm not
terrified.
On behalf of the viewers, I have to ask, is the infamous fridge making the move with you?
Nah, that hellfire thing can stay here.
You know what, though?
I had to write in the disclosure for selling the house that the fridge is a piece of shit.
It is a piece of shit.
I thought it was okay.
No, it's awful.
In California, you have to disclose everything if you know that there's a problem with your house and you're selling it
you have to disclose it so i put like oh we got ants once and we had orcan come fix that and the
fridge sucks the fridge water pools in the bottom rushes out the front every time you open the deli
drawer now so like once every three weeks you have to shop vac out the bottom of the fridge
or else you got a pool of water
that's like a couple inches deep under your drawer.
I had to write that in there.
And some idiot still bought this house.
No, no.
What you should have written is,
yes, this is that fridge.
And left it at that.
And people would have been like,
the fridge.
And then they would Google like,
what happened to the fridge?
And it might actually lead to your episode of The Fridge.
What happened to the fridge?
There's no way that brings up anything about us.
It brings up William the Refrigerator Perry.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ah, the famous William Perry fridge.
William the Fridge Perry.
Hey, he is famous.
What are you talking about?
Wait, who is that? Hey, sports podcast haver, William Refrigeridge Perry. Hey, he is famous. What are you talking about? Wait, who is that?
Hey, sports podcast haver, William Refrigerator Perry
was a defensive lineman slash running back
for the Chicago Bears in the 80s.
I don't know who that is.
He was a guy that was built like me, right?
He was fucking huge.
Built like a refrigerator.
But they would sometimes give him the ball,
and he would just, like, carry the entire opposing team into the end zone.
Oh, that's kind of awesome.
No, it's dope.
One time when I was in middle school, I bothered the shit out of my coaches.
We were, like, winning a game, I think, and we had the ball again,
and I was like, coach, let's do the refrigerator.
Come on, refrigerator me. And he did it, and I got to carry the ball once he handed the ball to me.
And I had like little middle school boys hanging off me, big six foot tall, 250 pound Bob, just
like I didn't get a touchdown, but it was very funny. I mean, that's pretty cool. Like I got
to admit, I've never heard of this, even though tyler will be very mad at me but that's pretty nice i mean if
you if you haven't talked about him on the podcast it's pretty fair that you haven't heard of him
it's a good he's a good uh like character story is good i like he's a good icon you can bring it
up and sound smart now on the other podcast just non sequitur tyler's like hey mark
how is your week refrigerator perry have you heard of him because i do have i know it look at my ass
i mean it's not different than anything else i say on that podcast so most of it is just
complete nonsense so mark we're talking about table hockey today refrigerator perry i just hear your initial response to any new topic is refrigerator perry
look at my ass i know a lot about refrigerator perry what were we talking about oh yeah i'm
moving refrigerator bad that's it that's the only question i had for you but i had to ask because
for some reason people seem to think that you're going to move that appliance when I have never
encountered anyone in my life who's taken a refrigerator with them when they moved.
So that is a very California thing.
Take your refrigerator?
To take appliances with you.
When we moved into this place, there weren't a washer and dryer.
Outside of Cali, all the appliances come with the place.
But here, sometimes people take their appliances with them which i i
think is kind of weird but like ovens and stoves too or like just like i don't know man some some
places get listed and it says like the appliances are not staying we're keeping them so sorry but
the kitchen cabinets they're coming with me well that's okay glad i asked then i suppose mark how
are you doing did i not say uh no i was i was criticizing you
no i totally i totally co-opted that whole first part there you haven't even talked at all mark
why did you seem like you were nervous about the question being asked how am i did i not already
give you that answer what did i say what should i say why are you asking that why are you asking
what i'm doing what are you talking about? I believe we've covered this extensively.
Refrigerator
Perry?
How am I doing?
I know
the answer to this one.
Let me tell you how I'm doing.
I'll tell you exactly how I'm doing.
Please do. I've been...
You know I've been.
Any illnesses this week?
Did you catch rickets, Mark?
Do you have any rickets?
No, no, no.
Isn't that the one where you, if you take Advil too long, too young?
I honestly have no idea.
I thought rickets was a fake disease for quite a long time.
It's some kind of disease you can get.
It is a real disease, rickets disease.
Condition that affects bone development in children.
What do you get
if you take advil as a child uh no not ibuprofen i'm literally typing man google search has gotten
so bad oh no wait advil no no you're right what's the other one the aspirin aspirin yeah
rise what was that
rise
I'm sorry sound it out
sound it out
I'm sounding it rise
rise
rise
you look at that word and you tell me
what that is.
I can't see the word.
I'm trying to find it.
R-E-Y-E apostrophe S.
Uh, uh, Rays.
Uh, you know what?
You're right, Mark.
It's like the barbecue sauce.
Sweet baby ways.
I don't think that is because that's spelled differently.
Rays. I was going to say Rays, but it's got the apostrophe so it's it's raised it belongs to ray but it's got i in it rye it's pronounced rise syndrome but the one i found is just r-e-y-e
apostrophe s raise syndrome according to first youtube video that says the pronunciation they
pronounce it rise syndrome yeah because it's got i in it
oh i was like there's no i in there mark i don't know how to tell you this no i see i see what
you're getting at the word i yes anyway i think that covers how i'm doing thanks for asking two
points for your elusivity elusiveness thank you how many points did I get? One, because you left the fridge.
Well, sacrifice it to the gods.
How many points is that worth?
Like five.
Well, I'll think about it for next time.
All right.
Well, then you have points next time, I guess.
Good.
I'll be happy.
Good.
Speaking of, I'm also good.
I almost unironically said, oh, how are your dogs?
But I would never do that to you.
Thank you. I know that they're fine. And no thanks for asking. unironically said oh how are your dogs but i would never do that to you thank you i know
that they're fine and no thanks for asking i listen i don't typically believe in jinxing
things but man every time i've said that on this show something horrible has happened and i don't
know if i'm willing to risk it every both times bad stuff has happened wasn't that before keeters
like nearly died before ginger had to have back surgery? I guess that's true, yeah.
I don't know how tightly related those were, but
There's no real
connection at all. I wasn't asking it
in connection to the joke, though. I was just
curious, honestly. I love the dog.
I know, it's a good question, but
it's changed me as a man
being asked it and seeing the
results. Everyone,
thankfully, as far as I i know is doing well at the
current present time i think you avoided disaster or you just cursed everyone in your life if i have
that kind of power then hell yeah well other than what i just did to them but like what did you just
do what did you do to them catch me in a week and a half or two or whatever how about that
did i nail it?
Catch me outside reference.
Didn't see that coming.
It was just like the Colin Mochrie reference I did on stream.
Anyway, I'm hosting today.
And I don't know why this is on my mind.
And I don't even know if this is something that you two will relate to at all. I want to talk about reading.
Like, reading books.
Do you guys read?
Yeah, I read.
I have read.
Have you read a book? I'm familiar with books. Do you guys read? Yeah, I read. I have read. Have you read a book?
I'm familiar with books.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
He sounds like me trying to avoid talking about how I'm doing.
And I know why I was avoiding it.
Oh, God.
What's wrong?
Two points, Bob, for elusivity.
I listen.
Books and I go way back and i i read them regularly i believe you what
about you mark how's your relationship with books oh good you know i read a lot of books but mostly
of one specific genre i think i've talked about a warhammer 40k oh warhammer porny k look you'll never know you'll never know but no just
warhammer 40k books but i've kind of started to get tapped out on them because i've read most of
the yeah have you not finished those yet how many how many books are they you've been doing that
i mean since since like 2017 you've been very into books in that in that universe right yeah and and at that point they had a huge
back catalog of you know books and i kind of filtered my way through the good ones but when
the bad ones are like kind of hard to get through they're a slog they're just not fun like they
because they have a diverse range of authors and they crank out those books like four or five a
month um and it just gets to the point where it's like i get tired
of trying to find uh books that i really will enjoy um and then the new release is a real hit
or miss um and then the series that i'm paying attention to is is just like updated three or
four times a year so it's it just gets i don't know why i just like to imagine that the bad
the like tough to read warhammer books are just like and then the space
marine aimed his gun at the guy and then pulled the trigger dugga dugga dugga dugga went the gun
like i don't know why just like written by a middle school boy just like and the guy got
shot in the head sprinkle in some of the scarlet letter and it's like
the reader must know the gun sounded comma back to action every few lines and then you've got a
real painful fucking read i mean i feel like that's how it's going to be in the future with
i mean it's already happening with ai written books that people are publishing and churning
out and just throwing up on like amazon i can't imagine an AI-written book is any good at all.
I enjoy playing with AI, but it can't do that.
How could it describe hands?
Wouldn't that be obvious? It's AI?
The businessmen shook hands on the deal.
A knurled, terrifying mess.
Almost like two octopuses entangled in a battle to the death.
So many fingernails.
So many knuckles.
And that's when he pointed his three index fingers
at me and I knew.
He waved at his mother
for what he knew would be the last time.
His nine fingers quivering with sadness.
You know what?
I like that.
That enriches the book, really.
Maybe I complained too early.
Yeah.
Because right now, I mean, there's no way that they could get the cohesion enough to be able to get from start to finish.
There is software that allows you to have like AI come up with ideas.
But most of the time nowadays, it just really goes off the rails.
And you got to you basically got to use it as like an assisting just idea generator,
which right now it is kind of good for because it can spit out completely random bullshit,
which can be good for guiding the process.
But yeah, completely written no way.
But there are people that are
trying to just completely write a book and then put it out there that don't make no sense yeah
no that i totally get using it as an helper type deal but there are people honestly just like
what like putting a prompt in having an entire book written and then just trying to publish it
without right space science fiction where main character's name is john go right
scary novel in style of stephen king enter it's a hard day's work orgy orgy orgy orgy clown dog
oh that's not what you're typing in i thought that's what you were doing for your book
oh no that was the stephen king horror story the famous uh it orgy i've i've
never read it i've heard of this but i haven't read it it's just i kind of i kind of heard what
the topic was i was like yeah i'm gonna steer clear of that one well so what about books then
mark knows books and so do i i think i've proven we've been on this podcast together long enough
to know whenever i give a single word topic i don't fucking know
what i want from you it's just like bread and hair and everything else this is where we go off the
rails no i'm requesting more information well okay favorite books uh talking about the benefits of
reading why you do or don't read i mean anything you want really molly has been reading like a
fiend she rings reads like 40 to
60 books a year or something crazy like we have so many books and we moved into this house we had
some bookshelves uh we bought some bookshelves and they're already full and she still has like
a huge pile of books to get through and it's like where are we gonna put these books she loves
reading reads a lot i remember loving read i just haven't made time for reading but like i kind of
want to watching her read makes me want to read i just don't make the time for it i feel like i
should i gotta say i don't know if law school ruined me on reading or what but i i it makes
me sound like such a complaining little child i don't love i don't love reading gotta be honest
and like law school for anyone who doesn't know i read probably
on average probably a thousand pages a week for law school because every class or every next class
was like i'll read these like three to six cases and a case can be like two or three pages real
quick and it depends some higher court cases are like, you know, like a quick memo. But also cases tend to be like a lot.
Judges like to go on.
They like to explain and expound.
And the bulk of the reading I've done in the last decade of my life was all law school.
And it was mostly cases.
And I don't feel like I need to do that anymore.
I don't think you have to read cases either.
I know.
But like, just the idea of reading
is kind of like oh that's fair but i feel like if you got a good book you'd probably get if you
liked reading before law school at least if you got a good book you'd probably get into it like
mark's pointing i have a dramatic opinion that everyone's going to be polarized about oh jesus
okay that has to do with reading and it also has to do with the topic of language learning. So, I'm gonna make this a preface.
Bold proclamation for someone that really, truly only speaks one language.
Alright, we're looking at your ass.
Alright, look at my ass.
Look at my ass, guys.
Look me in the ass.
Um, I believe.
Not only.
Not only are adults smarter than children.
I believe that's just very...
We can all agree
on that one.
That's very true.
Very true.
We're all smarter than children, right?
I believe that in language learning, trying to read another language is detrimental to
your ability to understand that language if that is your first priority in terms of learning a new language.
Because humans as adults are smarter than children, but we also have a very high standard
of what we accept as being intelligent. So children don't have this same like understanding.
Also children can't read very well, can't speak very well. I've covered that before,
but I think as an adult, we look at
reading and language systems as being like, oh, I can understand that faster. I can learn the
alphabet. I can read the words faster. So we try to use that as the primary way that we get a
language. But I'm not talking about speed or efficiency. I'm talking about quality of learning.
I believe that using reading as the first system that you do, as
opposed to listening and understanding the sounds, because the sounds is the fundamental method of
which communication is done. That is the first and foremost biological process of which we
understand language. By trying to learn the words as they are written which is a supplementary system to language it is it's the
supplementary system to exchanging language it did revolutionize human understanding but mostly in
terms of written records and being able to translate and permanentize permanentinize
permanentinize your english is beautiful make permanent hey you got there the transfer of information and i think i think i i
this is just wild conjecture but in my experience my exposure to the language in terms of sound
first has dramatically increased my ability to understand where i'm at with korean is i understand
korean very well i can hear it extremely. And you run into these situations all the time where people start to learn another language
and they feel confident in the reading and the writing.
And yet you go to another country and you can't hear what anyone's saying.
You can't understand anything.
And you have this in terms of I know my Korean family and the Korean learning system.
They have English in every year of their school for a lot of schools out there.
And they take written exams
where they read an essay in English and have to understand it in a written form. And yet,
if they talk to someone in English and someone is talking to them in English, they can't understand
anything. And therefore the communication is completely broken down because it emphasized
the wrong part of learning. It emphasized the supplementary part of understanding
a language and not the actual language. By having reading first, you miss out on the actual
comprehension. Right now, I'm at a place where I am very good at comprehending it in terms of
listening and understanding it. And I can get what people say. And I'm even to the point where I can
understand context clues and what I'm hearing for words that I don't know because I listened to the tonality and the
emphasis they're putting on certain words. I can't speak it very well. I can speak in broken
sentences, but I can understand what's going on even in a fast conversation between my family
members. And I think that reading first is a detrimental effect
to language learning.
I'll assume the opposing position.
I think you're probably
on to something
because more contemporary
language learning stuff
does focus on that.
For me personally,
in the way that my brain works,
I think reading actually
helps me a lot.
Hearing something
without understanding how it's spelled and hearing sounds of a language without context for like
what those words look like in terms of like phonetical spelling and what that means makes
it really hard for me to connect things in my brain. So I agree with you that if you focus
on reading, you struggle with conversational comprehension,
like listening comprehension.
But I would be so lost trying to learn a language without having the context of like,
what is the alphabet?
What are the letters supposed to sound like?
If I hear this sound or this combination, what is that on paper?
And I don't know why that is.
But for me, reading is like crucially important to to
understanding the sounds that you hear in the language so it probably partially depends on
how a person's brain works and how they learn but like i think you are pretty right because like the
the old school way of just you do vocabulary you take a vocab test that's how you learn spanish in
high school like i don't think that sticks very well. I think a lot more Americans would speak Spanish if that type of learning was
effective because like in our school district, everyone took language and 95% of people took
Spanish. I took German because I'm weird and that was a poor choice. I really wish I'd learned
Spanish, but like no one speaks it. None of my friends from high school can still speak Spanish
and they took you
know three or four years of it or whatever so you're probably right i would agree too i took
a really bad opposing position i'm sorry the best way to do it's probably to pair both it's probably
like hear a word and then like hear it pronounced out loud and like see it spelled so you know what
you're listening to that there is a research article that compared this there were students
that were there was a i, in some South American university.
I can't remember which one, but they were trying to learn English, right?
So they watched content in a few different ways, and they had a few different control groups.
One of them watched it with no subtitles, just in English.
One watched in English subtitles, and then one watched in, I believe, Spanish subtitles, depending on what the country was.
And they measured how many words they learned.
So when they watched with Spanish subtitles, they learned no new words.
Even though the audio was all in English, and they were trying to pay attention and
learn new words, they made no associations.
When they watched with no subtitles at all, and just English, they learned like 14 new
words, just from the context clues. And then they had
the ones that learned with, watched with English audio and English subtitles by being able to hear
and look at the word associations, they learned like 17 new words because they were able to
compare to the words that are there. Now, I question the actual metric, whether it's
understanding or memorization or learning, because humans are good at pattern recognition.
But I still believe that if you're reading a language and you're reading a word that is not
your native language, you are not reading it with the proper sounds associated in your head so you're reading it based on your
learning of that language which can reinforce accents and i think like you can learn faster
yes but you learn based on your beginner understanding of that language's pronunciation
because in your head is not built the voice of that language. And that's why what I'm saying is like reading is detrimental
if you want a native level like understanding of that language
where you hear it in your head with the proper sounds
and the mouth positions automatically associated with it.
But if you learn, you can learn faster if that's your objective
by having both the target language audio and the
target language uh words but i believe the only way to get like fluency with actual like loss of
accent and being native level speaking is purely audio only but i have no evidence to this i could
see it either way um i have a funny story i don't know if i've told this one on here i was at a
convention a few years ago with Molly down in Texas,
and they had like an ice cream truck.
And we both went up and got an ice cream.
It was a really hot day.
We were in Texas in the summer.
And the ice cream just melted all over.
It was like some kind of like black ice cream
promoting a game or something.
And we were getting ready to go to dinner.
We looked down, we were just covered in ice cream.
So we went back to our hotel room.
We're like, okay, let's change clothes.
And there was a housekeeper in our hotel room,
like cleaning the room.
And I asked her, she like greeted us in spanish and i asked her like do you speak english
and she said no and i was like okay wait this is your time four and a half years of spanish
you can convey that you need to change clothes so i pointed to like the stains on my shirt and was
like we need a moment like necesitamos un minuto para ropa nueva i was like
new clothes is that good did i do it and she's like what i was like yeah we need to change our
clothes i tried saying it again and she was like oh okay and then she kept doing what she was doing
and i was like okay i got something wrong i need to try it again so i like tried again and
then she's like i still didn't say it correctly there was still no understanding so we like grab
we were like running late so we just grabbed shirts ran the restroom and changed and i was
like what the hell she thought i said we came back from dinner and she had folded all of our
dirty laundry just for some reason the pile of dirty clothes she folded them and i was like how did i
get this so wrong i swear i said we need new clothes because of my point of the stains i know
how to say stains and it crushed me because after four and a half years of spanish in the last year
and a half two years we had to speak and listen in spanish we had to speak only in spanish in class i still was not very good at listening or speaking
i could read it like you said i could read it no problem but speaking and listening i try to
remember how to say certain things hearing her speak back to me it was like oh god she talks too
there was something uh room uh time like you know i could pick out like certain words but i couldn't get the
whole sentence it was like dude i know it's been like eight years but i took so many years of
spanish how am i not able to listen and you're 100 right it's probably because i was so comfortable
with the reading and writing that listening and speaking was definitely i was nowhere close on
those mark's hypothesis is confirmed confirmed thatirmed! Confirmed!
That is my one bit of evidence toward your claim.
And I'm so sorry, lady.
If you watch this podcast, I'm so sorry.
I have a feeling.
Dude, dirty underwear from a sweaty convention you should have never had to touch.
I'm sorry.
She's sitting in her car crashing into a shave ice stand right now.
Not understanding a word you're saying wait maybe she's learned
english at this point i don't know she didn't speak english but that doesn't mean she couldn't
i cannot describe the horror of seeing dirty underwear and socks folded neatly that she
for some reason thought i was requesting her to do i would love to know exactly what you
actually said and get an accurate translation because she got home and she was like i had the worst oh so my i took german my dad uh studied german too when in his uh educational pursuits and um
we were in germany at one point we were on a family trip we were in germany we were sitting
at a cafe it it's bold. It feels bold to like speak
a language in another country, right? Like I had never spoken German with Germans. I'd only
talked to my teachers and classmates and stuff. And I did a couple, I had a couple moments of like
translating and speaking, you know, saying a sentence or something. But my dad was like
nervous about it and didn't want to do it. But he looked up, we were sitting at this cafe and it was like, we were done eating and it was like time to go. And he was like nervous about it and didn't want to do it but he looked up we're sitting at this cafe
and it was like we were done eating and it was like time to go and he was like i know how to say
check please in german you say uh rechnung bitte rechnung means check bitte means please
super easy it's it's a correct you know sentence you could convey the sentiment it's super easy
and he's sitting there and he's like,
and sitting there and he's working on it and he's like, yeah, I can do this.
I can do this. I can do this.
And the waiter walks over and he
puts the hand up, gets
attention, and the waiter is like,
and he's just like,
can I have the check, please?
And that was so good.
And then that same trip, we're in another situation.
We're at a place and having a beer, hanging out.
It's the same thing.
He's like, I know how to ask for a beer in German.
Nach ein Bier, bitte.
Nach ein Bier, bitte.
But it's the same thing.
And it gets all worked up.
And he's like
and the waiter comes by and he's like oh one more beer please
he like turns southern you're like yo can i get another bud lie
like yeah you know what it is really intimidating to be in another country well and especially as
an american when my family my dad i look like my dad right and so we're like big huge tall
like giant americans we're so obviously americans that it's like painful and everybody outside of
america expects americans to be so fucking stupid so it it's like, it's not like if you say something and it's kind of wrong,
you don't expect that.
And we didn't have this, but you don't expect people to be like,
oh, good try.
Actually, yeah, no, I know what you mean.
You expect people to just be like,
stupid American thinks he speaks German.
What an idiot.
We never had that experience, but like, it's kind of how it feels.
Like people fucking hate Americans and other, especially in Europe was my experience.
But yeah, my poor dad, he tried, man.
It's a lot of pressure.
Okay.
But also he probably hadn't actually studied German for like 30 years at that point.
I don't even know if he did it in college.
I think he did it in high school, but.
It's got to be worse for people coming here and going to restaurants than it is for us
going to restaurants.
I had a hard time not tipping waiters and waitresses in Europe.
But I imagine people that come here that have never had to do that.
It's got to be the most confusing fucking thing to see like a line where you put more money.
It's like, but it costs this.
Well, imagine coming from a country where they include the tax and the price that's listed.
I was about to say that.
In a lot of European places, something will be like, this costs nine euros.
That includes everything when you go to the cash register you hand them nine euros or you swipe your card and that's what it costs in america it's like a fucking mystery you
go up it's like well this said it costs six dollars like that'll be 960 please plus tip jerk
god damn what do numbers mean Why is this such a mystery?
Could do that, America.
Could just include the tax and the thing.
You live in a place where the tax is always the same, except maybe if the law changes.
At least they do recommended a lot of places now.
So at least that's a thing.
That didn't used to be on receipts.
I don't think that's better.
I think we should pay people.
I think we should pay people enough money that they don't require customers to be generous in order for them to pay their bills
i agree with you but at least for the customer's sake it's a step in the right direction so at
least they're reminded like you should tip do they have to tip no company should just pay better but
and i just want to be clear i do tip i'm not that guy who's like i don't tip on principle because
that's fucking awful you
know what if we just paid people enough money to live in a house with electricity and water crazy
talk crazy can't believe this guy that's un-american is what that is anyway uh what what how is this
about books anyway kids can't read this is about reading reading is the topic so kids can't oh yeah
kids can't read kids can't read. Kids can't read.
Wait, so I'm not a big, I'm not a rapid reader, but I have, you know what?
Have you guys ever had this where like something comes up and you're like, oh, I should try
that book.
Like that sounds really good.
It's like really popular or someone recommends it and you just get sucked in.
Like the last time this happened to me was with the Ready Player One book.
And like, I get that's very like, I don't know if that's a cool book or not.
And the movie was questionable.
But the book, I think, is really good.
It represents a world to me that could exist in a lot of ways.
And it ties to reality in ways where I'm like, oh, that's that's not a good path.
Like, it's interesting.
I read that book in one night.
I picked it up and I was like, oh, I'll just read this before bed a little bit.
And then at like six in the morning, I finished the book and I was like, whoa, what happened?
What the shit?
I like couldn't stop reading it.
Does that happen to you guys?
Oh my God, yeah.
Does not happen a lot to me, but when it happens, it's like I get sucked into another universe.
Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's like I get sucked into another universe. Yeah, absolutely.
And I think that's what makes reading addicting for people.
It doesn't happen a lot, but there are certain books that are just like so incredibly well
written, or maybe it's not the greatest written, but it's just like it opens up a world you've
never imagined before and you do just get sucked in.
And that is nice.
Like, that's a very nice feeling.
It's just like, it's so rare that it occurs.
It's very few and far between that you actually find that that one that really is gonna get there but growing up
there's a lot of controversy obviously now but growing up for us harry potter was a popular
series right and like when the harry potter books would come out i would always read those like
the next day or that night it was like you go to the midnight release get the book next day
read done uh the hobbit i've not actually read the lord of the midnight release, get the book next day, read, done. The Hobbit.
I've not actually read the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but reading The Hobbit.
I actually did that for like four years in a row for book reports.
I did the same book just because I wanted to read The Hobbit again.
Well, no, listen, that sounds good and all, but I'm going to point out that maybe you were being lazy.
Were you just trying to pull one over on your teachers there a little bit there, young Wade?
The thing is, though, I actually reread the book each time. Yeah, but it's not new.
Just because you reread it doesn't mean it's different. I think even as a kid, I realized
because like growing up, I liked reading the Animorphs, like in like first, second grade,
the Animorphs series. And then there were obviously books that you read throughout life that you don't
enjoy. I remember reading The Hobbit and I was i was like okay this is like seen as being higher level than reading animorphs i can do a book report on this
and the next year it was like i don't know i don't know any books i know i like the hobbit
i'll just do that again i want to read that again and that was kind of my reasoning it wasn't like
to not uh-huh read a new book sure because i did reread it each time it was just because i knew i
liked it i wanted an excuse to read it again younger me was a lot less lazy than older me i've gotten really bad in my older years and it's i've
got many hopefully older years left i don't know younger you seems pretty lazy too from the stories
i'm hearing that seems like it's the same level of laziness because i learned after the first time
of redoing the hobbit i was like so my teachers don't communicate they don't know i did this see that's the scheming
part there yeah see that's i didn't know that the first time i redid it i knew it was a gamble
but uh then i learned i was home free speaking of being lazy students did you ever and if so
how many times did you guys ever give a cliff Notes book report? Did you ever do this? Also, for the younger listeners out there, viewers, hopefully, viewers, not listeners,
Cliff Notes, my bad, when we were kids.
Is it not a thing anymore?
I don't know, man.
There's at least Spark Notes, right?
Yeah, it's like a summary of a book, right?
And you don't read the whole book, but you read the Cliff Notes, and then you're like,
yeah, I read that.
Did you guys do this?
I always did the reading. I was a good student, so I always did the reading. But there
were times where I read something like, I don't remember, I think Heart of Darkness was like a
tough, there were some books that were like tough reads. And there was like, was it Hemingway who
kind of wrote in like old English that was kind of fanciful reading? There were a couple authors,
I remember I read their stuff and I finished and I was like, okay, what the hell all just happened?
And then I would go and look at the SparkNotes the cliff notes to like refresh my memory and make sure that i actually
was like comprehending the reading right but i never relied exclusively on them so number one
cliff notes is still a thing maybe i'm not 100 sure if you go to their website it's like the
oldest wet looking website i've seen in a while it was so advanced back in the day um but i didn't
do a cliff's
notes book report uh one time when i was in fourth grade with that teacher that i didn't like uh there
was we had to do a book report and i thought i read it i really truly thought that i read the
book so i wrote a book report like in one like in in the morning in the morning i was like i read it
last night i'll write a book report and I'll get it done.
I got the assignment.
I did that morning.
You know, I didn't watch TV in the morning.
Like I thought I usually do go to school, hand in the book report like next day or later
in that week, whenever the grading thing was, I get pulled outside the class.
Like the teacher literally pulls me out of class.
Like I need to speak with you.
Get outside in the hallway.
And she,
she,
she like looms over me.
Like I,
I've seen bad book reports before.
I've seen people cheating,
like doing all the book reports again.
I've never seen the most inane bullshit rambling that you put in your book report.
And I'm like the whole time.
I don't know. I wrote, I didn't wear your ass, I wrote a book report about that book.
And then I'm like, how did you think you'd get away with putting time travel and random spaceships or whatever the hell I put in?
And it was like a book about the grapes of wrath or some book like that.
And what happened was, I had dreamed I read the book.
The night prior, I dreamed I read it.
And that's what I thought the book was.
All of my dream thoughts.
So I woke up the next morning like, oh man, I'm glad I read that book.
And then I wrote the book report.
And that's when Rosa Sharon beamed up into the enterprise.
I wish, I wish that book report still existed,
but I think she shredded it right in front of my face
or something like that.
I wish I could go back and read what that book report said,
because man, I want to read the fanciful imagination
that I had and somehow translated from my dream thoughts into a book report.
So, yeah, dream notes.
That's really the the real source of abridging a book.
Yeah.
And what grade did you end up getting on that?
Oh, I don't zero grade.
I don't know.
F minus.
F minus.
The first F minus in recorded history.
Really?
Truly?
Yeah.
So I read The Grapes of Wrath it was okay
I made a movie that was my first ever
content I made was following reading the
Grapes of Wrath we made like a sequel
movie that I wish also existed I would
totally air that on YouTube if I could find it I was in that
class and I think our group did
like the same thing yeah well
my question was just a trap and I
never did that either ah yeah
I'm not that kind of bad student.
Right, yeah.
Look, if I'm being super honest, it's a toss-up whether I actually read more of the books
or actually just cliff-noticed more of the books in high school.
I gotta be real honest, guys.
It's probably good I didn't become a lawyer, because I don't think you could cliff-notice
law stuff.
I don't think I ever did that.
The one book I wish I had, and I will forever rip on it, is The Scarlet Letter.
There has never been a worse piece of literature I have read in my life,
including looking at fifth grade papers when we had to trade papers and read each other's papers.
I would rather read someone who didn't care at all
than ever read Nathaniel Hawthorne's fucking Scarlet Letter again.
I had three books I had to read one summer i had a prayer for owen meanie the scarlet letter and i
don't remember what the third one was a prayer for owen meanie was like a thick book the scarlet
letter was like a hundred pages decent sized words i was like dude i will read this in one afternoon
something about that book was the ultimate melatonin.
I would read four lines and fall the fuck asleep.
No matter, I would drain like three sodas.
I'd sit up.
I wasn't even laying back.
I'd open that book up and Arthur Dimmesdale, the reader must know,
and his dear Hester Prynne took their little pearl and...
Every fucking time. I didn't read that book but i watched the movie and
i thought emma stone did a great job didn't see the movie the movie is probably great the story
is probably great but something about every four fucking lines having to read the phrase the reader
must know took me out i could not get into it and i swear to you i'm pretty sure that that line is in
there a whole bunch couldn't tell you because i can only read three lines at a time of that
fucking book it took me all summer to read that book the other two books i read both in the same
week were you talking about easy a yeah the movie adaptation of the scarlet letter is called easy a
starring emma stone i thought you were reading
the book real quick to see if it actually says all those things no i i saw the movie 2010s
comedy romance movie easy a starring emma stone penn badgley amanda bines stanley tucci and lisa
kudrow isn't there actually a scarlet letter movie adaptation yeah there is oh i don't want to watch
that that sounds awful the story is probably fine it's just the way it was written was not my it was the worst
thing i'd ever read in my life i could not get into it at all a prayer for owen meanie i was like
okay this sounds like it has some kind of religious context i'm not a big religion guy i'm gonna hate
this book i was like this was enjoyable i'd read that again that was fine but the scarlet letter
was the one i started with i was like let's get the small one out of the way first. It took me like two and a half of our
three months off to get through that fucking book. Every day I would read three lines and it was like
I wanted to bash my head against a brick wall. Never had more pain in my life than trying to
get through that book. I feel like everyone that I've ever talked to about reading in high school
has that exact sentiment that you have but it's always
about a different book catcher in the rye maybe is that one of the ones people hate no like like
it's all books oh like each individual just has some book where that's the one that they feel the
way that you feel about scarlet letter because because you could have that exact same conversation
and just insert any book and they're just like golden caulfield wandering through a straw field well what a late you know whatever i did actually
read catcher on the ride but i sincerely don't remember 90 of it i think it's fair to not like
old old books written in old some of them again we're fine but that one for some just the way
the way that one it's okay it's okay yeah it was like, leave me the fuck alone, Nathaniel.
Get back to the goddamn story.
Half your book is saying the reader must fucking know.
I know I must know.
That's why I'm reading.
It can't hurt you now, Wade.
It can.
It does.
It haunts me.
You could just stop thinking about it.
You don't have to think about it.
No one is going to give you a quiz.
It's okay.
Anyway, next time I win, win i'm gonna make it about
nathaniel hawthorne that'll be the topic and we're gonna go mark just lost all of his points
deep into the lore it's just gonna be me raging for like an hour that's all it will be i don't
get why people need to read the older books in school i get there's some historically important
books and they have like topical
relevant things for historical reasons but also i agree with you some of those books are just
plain old boring especially compared to like culturally relevant things today mark watts
english class to read only books in the warhammer universe how much better would we be off how much better would bb as a society all worshiping the
god emperor of mankind as we should and learn about the dangers of chaos it's all it's all in
there oh the only thing i know about war over 40k is the story you told about the the one planet
where the orcs that live on it believe anything that you say or do is real and so they're instead of having guns they just go
like this and they're all and the guys are all gonna die i mean that's like not just one planet
and also that's a general misconception about the orcs whatever you told me the story you correct it
then it's just the orcs are the best like book subjects the books about the orcs specifically
written by mike brooks like they're just really really really funny i i just really i'm entertained
by those stupid fucking orcs they're great i love everything about them or smart they're
actually very smart i know some lore about them but not enough to have a good conversation with you probably probably not yeah uh catch 22 was a great book i love catch 22 i don't know how well that one's got to be after
at least world war one that's not as old as i did like that book i read that book i don't know that
book all the king's men was a good one there was there's a bunch of good ones i read to kill a
mockingbird i read in the sixth grade i don't think i fully understood it but i like that book
too hey wait guys can we do can we do a test yes the book series about the family of bears the berenstain bears does that sound right
to you i don't know i know this thing but i don't know which one's the truth this is this is like a
mandela effect thing yeah the berenstein berenstain apparently it's berenstain bears and i definitely
was in the berenstein camp i wonder
if that was just us being like midwesterners and pronouncing things how we wanted to probably
probably but i don't know i at this point even now i don't know which one's the correct one and i
can't say anything with confidence about it ah whatever did you guys ever get any of those though
i will say i was a boxcar children kid i read those two yeah i like those two i love the boxcar i would that was one of the ones where i'd buy that from
like the book fair i would buy the new boxcar children books that kind of i love those books
i don't even know what that is the boxcar children i don't even know what that is it's like a it's
i honestly i don't remember a lot of details now but like they were they were like orphan kids who
lived in a in an abandoned boxcar from like a train car type thing but yeah they were they were like orphan kids who lived in a in an abandoned box car from like
a train car type thing but yeah they like solved a mystery type things i love choose your own
adventure goosebumps some of those were good i had the hotel moriarty or whatever it was called i
remember reading that one the choose your own adventure and i always got so pissed off because
somehow i always ended up in the hotel room and i ate the candy and died couldn't you just not have eaten the candy or is that not a choice yeah but it sounded good it was
like nice little candy on the pillow and i was like i can't say no you get back to the exact
same page with your smudgy little fingerprints all over it it's all crumpled up from your angry
outrage from the last 10 times you got you and You're like, ah, the candy sounds so good.
What if it's different?
What if it's different?
What if something different happens this time?
I'll eat the candy.
God damn it.
I don't know if there's actually a good ending in that book or not.
I always fucking died.
You know, you can just read any page you want at any moment.
I feel like this is indicative of how you approach video games to this day, because
I swear every time you try to do something in a video game, you just fall into the same exact trap.
As you are now is exactly what you were then is what we're discovering.
No, no.
I'm bald now.
Are you sure you weren't bald then?
You've always been bald.
This is like my sixth sense moment.
Some bald people don't know they're bald.
Looking in the mirror and the hair just disappears.
Can I be real with you?
Goosebumps was too scary for me as a kid.
Honest to God, I liked some of the books, but some of them,
I don't remember specifically, but which ones.
But I read, I remember reading one and getting to the end and being like,
Nope, nope, no more Goosebumps.
Too much.
I found myself less scared of that than the show Are You Afraid of the Dark?
I watched Are You Afraid of the Dark?
But that show always scared me a lot more than Goosebumps show or books ever did.
Granted, in my family, I also watched scary horror movies a lot younger than I probably
should have.
I was exposed to a lot of things as a kid I probably shouldn't have been.
But Goosebumps was like, this is kid stuff as I'm a kid reading it.
In conclusion, me and books, not so chill.
Unless it's a really goddamn good book
there's some good ones out there i'll never know because i refuse to read that's the catch 22 of
it all ah you get bonus points for that because i like that book how many points do i have uh
currently less than bob after i just gave him points ah molly said catcher in the rye was the
one she couldn't stand that's what i thought it was catcher in the rye never read that one myself uh guess let us know what books you like or
didn't like talk about the ones you don't like let's be honest i mean yeah well i don't know
i'm interested in both because i wouldn't mind picking up a book and reading again i need to
which books make you absolutely enraged what is your scarlet letter? Mark, any clever things you want to say for last minute points? I think that anyone that doesn't read is dumb.
Bob, how does it make you feel?
If you has, if you has, if you has look at, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it, look at it. Yes. Look at that book. You might not even know why you had to do that.
That's a Brian Regan joke about the debate over reading.
And I'm on the side of not reading, apparently.
Did you know?
Wait, I came across the actual illiteracy stats. There's actually a surprising amount of people that can't read which i found fascinating in an era
where almost everyone consumes online content and i know that's not actually everyone but nationwide
79 of u.s adults are literate 21 of people cannot read 54 adults who are literate read below a sixth grade level. So more than half of
the population of adults read at a level that would not pass the seventh grade. I think it
really depends on what part of the country you're in and what your life is too, though. I will say
the illiterate thing, the standard for that if i remember correctly
being illiterate does not mean that you have no idea what the hell those mystical symbols mean
and you walk into like a grocery store and you're like oh how much does this cost like you can look
at a thing and like you know a word you can see numbers and you know it like it doesn't it means
you can't read like literature you can't read prose doesn't, it means you can't read like literature. You can't read prose.
Doesn't mean you can't comprehend basic stuff. If you live in a world where you helped on the
farm instead of going to school sometimes and you, or you've got a job, you know, machining or
welding or whatever, like, like I'm terrible at math. I probably do math below a middle school
level. If I had to guess I'm i'm i am i can't even add shit
together sometimes i think it depends how much you use it and if you live in a world where you
don't read at work you don't really need to read you know to get by to to know what you're doing
online you read words or phrases but you don't read like you know extended prose is it is it
that bad i mean it'd be great if everyone read because reading is a
great way to learn and expose yourself to more stuff but that statistic might be misleading and
my grandpa never learned to read my grandma always like read the mail to him and stuff like that so
whenever she passed away it was like he had to figure out how to look through like mail and
letters and stuff because he just never had to learn to read which is such a fascinating thing
and i bet like some of these statistics are influenced yeah by people that don't speak English as a first language come here and then obviously they can't read English.
Oh, sure.
Yeah. So that's definitely a method by which it is. But I also like there in hilarious side of things, there are many celebrities and I'm not going to name names just in case like these are just violent rumors that are horribly untrue but there's some celebrities that people suspect can't read and
have somehow just skated by like skated by with never being able to actually read anything and
i know there are people out there that are embarrassed by the fact that they can't read
and they get by in everyday life uh going there but i do think that it's a big detriment reading
especially nowadays with
so many things being online is such a default thing yeah well growing up the way we did it's
hard to even imagine a world where you don't you aren't forced to do that we we didn't never there's
no version of the life that we grew up in where you don't just learn to read because you have to
go to school and that's part of that you don't get to pass the next grade unless you read some shit yeah but that's not ubiquitous well and i can
also understand why people would be embarrassed i i'm sure that i exude the same energy and i
don't mean to people are so judgy about it i wouldn't really care if i was interacting with
someone and i learned that they couldn't read clearly we're having a conversation we're interacting like it doesn't mean that you're not smart it means probably
that you come from a world that i don't understand where school was not as important when you were a
kid or whatever but like i yeah i imagine a lot of people get a lot of shit for that coming up
especially if you like actors right if you come from somewhere where you didn't learn to read but
then you're now you're an actor, so you're, like, in Hollywood
or whatever. I don't think a lot of Hollywood comes from a place where reading was optional.
And, you know, they, you know, they come from a place more like where we come from, where it's,
like, you went to school, you graduated high school, whatever, maybe you went to college,
like, reading was just sort of assumed as a thing everyone did. So, yeah, I would imagine you get a
lot of shit for that, pretty much regardless of context. I can see that being a sore spot for people, but it's okay, man. I can only barely
read and I can't do math. So I'm, I'm in no position to judge anybody. I read great and I'm
good at pretty much everything I do except for art. Look, I went to law school and I made it
out of there, but I still am not sure how or why they let me
graduate. And there's a reason I chose not to become a lawyer. I've got like maxed out stats,
except for being able to draw and being able to have hair. Otherwise I'm like the perfect being.
You're so awesome, Wade. He's so great. You're the best. Thank you. You know what? 10 points to me.
Well, I'll just wish we could be as good as you are. I have been adding points throughout.
I gotta say, somehow
you guys, through all this
talk, have tied it up again. So we
have a tied score. Even though you deleted
all my points? Can I lick your butt
cheeks for you? Can you
lick my butthole for me? Can I bury my
nose in there and just give you a kiss right
in the booty? You can if you want.
Does that get me points? Um, no. bald man a strong look i just figured we'd come down to one of our favorite
things the wheel oh boy i thought we were done with this i can't read i don't know what this
wheel is gonna say so why are there so many colors and like, I don't get why the distribution is like this.
Why isn't it...
Mark, Bob, Mark, Bob, Wade is on there.
It's literally just randomized.
That's not very, that's a pattern.
It's just a stupid pattern.
I feel like a fair distribution is ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, you know, one after another.
It's an even amount of things.
It doesn't matter if it's equally...
You guys just want to see the pattern. I get it. I have a bad feeling. That's an even amount of things. It doesn't matter if it's equally. You guys just want to see the pattern.
I get it.
I got a bad feeling.
That's how patterns work.
Patterns are things you can see.
There is like a 48% chance
either one of you can win
in whatever percent this is.
Five, ten, I don't know for me.
It doesn't look like that small of a percentage.
I gotta be real honest.
Mine should be smaller.
I think I changed this
because maybe you guys pissed me off last time or something or maybe i just felt like i really
deserved to win well i hope you i hope you win wade i you deserve it such a such an angelic
being like yourself well no but no host has ever given themselves the win before we do have that
power so i guess we'll oh that's that thing that he was saying that's that thing did i tell you
i've solved it i know what causes it also well i don't know what all he just shared so you might Oh, that's that thing that he was saying. That's that thing. Did I tell you?
I've solved it.
I know what causes it.
Also, Will, I don't know what all he just shared,
so you might need to hire whoever that is.
You might need to hide that.
I heard the scream.
What was up there?
I have a new keyboard,
and my keyboard has buttons along the left side of it.
And when I grab my water bottle,
I've noticed the bottom of my water bottle like taps the keyboard.
And where I do it, it perfectly hits hits this stupid ass button that does that so you were just accidentally
resting hitting your keyboard i don't even know what side keys mean do you mean like physically
sticking out the side or like yes on the far left edge of the top of the keyboard can you see how
there's like buttons here is it oh you literally mean on you see how there's like buttons here? Is it? Oh, you literally mean on the side.
Yes, there's like three buttons there.
That's it. That is super weird.
I've never seen that before. Yeah, I had
no reason to suspect that was a thing.
But there's three buttons. I don't know what the other two do.
I'm too afraid to touch them. I somehow only
ever... Oh, push them right now.
Push them right now. Push them right now.
Shut down. Shut down.
Oh, no.
What was that?
I got trusted the other one.
The other one was the scary
looking one and I just like...
Push the other one!
Anyway, hope we have lots of
good blurring there because I don't know what I just
shared. What is on your desktop?
My points. Do you want to see my point sheet?
There you go.
Wow. It's good you got a whole document up just for that i don't save it i delete it afterward you know notepad exists
sticky notes even you could just use that i'm a word pad kind of guy because there's a w in it
i like w anyway let's see who wins where even is the pointer where how do we tell who wins this oh it's at the top okay and all is right in the world i guess because we're back to fair chance bob do you want best
two out of three i'll spend two more times for if you want yes yes i do all right best two out of
three i i would mark wins this one again there's there's no chance I win this wait, I didn't even agree to
I didn't agree to best two, alright
three out of five
let's keep it rolling
keep it rolling, we all agree
hey, Bob one more
there we go
I don't know what the
I just like spinning the wheel
I just like clicking the button
oh, two to two it's tied what the... I just like spinning the wheel, man. I just like clicking the button.
Oh, two to two!
It's tied! Hey, there is balance
in the universe. Would you look at that?
One wheel to spin them all.
Wait, what happens now if Wade wins?
Do you just win instantly, or do you have to
get to three out of five as well?
I hope we don't have to find out.
And the winner of this episode is
Bob!
Bob!
Mark, unless you want best of seven.
You do have the power to unilaterally call for four out of seven.
If I have the power, you have the same power.
I'll grant you that.
Mark, you have three seconds to decide. No, okay, here, I'll flip a coin to decide whether I'll do that.
You know, even more fair do we
do best of seven let's go do i go for seven let me pull up my coin app let's let fate decide
fate's gonna decide heads i go for five of seven four of seven what is it four of seven. Four out of seven. Oh, I don't go for it.
The coin is spoken.
I honestly can't believe that.
I was pretty sure you were going to win that.
And then you were going to win two more in a row.
And then that was going to be the end of it.
That's it.
I earned that win.
Good.
I did.
I made choices that led to me winning.
I did that.
In a precedent I definitely won't live to regret,
you guys can always ask for more spins.
No.
I just like spinning the wheel.
You can spin the wheel on your own.
I do spin it on my own.
I have a Wade wheel.
I just spin, this is Wade.
I'm just spinning.
There's 10 inputs of Wade.
I'm so sure that that's actually real that i love it bob you have a winner
speech uh well it feels good to win you know it feels really good to earn a lot of points more
points than mark more points than mark could ever hope to earn really uh and you know it just it's
rewarding to put the hard work in to uh play by the rules and to ultimately get what you deserve in the end of
everything. And, you know, I think Mark also got what he deserves. He deserves to lose.
He probably would have won. I took points away from him when he asked me to,
but I thought his like language conversation was so good. He just kept earning points.
That's right. That's right.
You got to keep playing. You're never out of it.
You know, never out of it. Even at the end when the winner's been declared, you're never out of it never out of it even at the end when the winner's been declared you're never out of it
even when the judge has said that you
lost the episode and that seems to be
the end we have precedent remember
the episode called Bob wins this
episode we've seen it before
you just gotta keep playing by the rules
and you can succeed
it's never over that's what I'm
learning that's how I view the world that's how I approach
everything I do.
So congratulations
to me above
everyone else and great game, everybody.
Great game. Great game.
Mark, what's your speech for
being the not winner? I have
so many dramatic opinions about
reading that I didn't share in this episode
because I knew the best would come for later.
I eagerly look forward to reading part two because I know that's where we always save the content for.
So look forward to it. I'm glad I held back because my amazing reading stories,
I want to milk this content for everything that it's worth.
And you're only going to get it once we decide you deserve it.
Which you don't. You don't. don't you one reddit user why you specifically
i love that we have like a million people that watch this and this one person like everyone
there's so many criticisms probably of this podcast that one person has irked us so hard
we will never forgive you we will milk this till the day we die. Be careful what you wish for or also wish the opposite for.
Because we're going to give it to you, viewer listeners.
We're milking their criticism of our milking of content till the end for content.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
That's the episode.
Congrats, Bob.
Mark, you should have asked for more spins.
I can't believe I got the coin flip.
You should have never left it up to chance.
But regrets are regrets.
Then you can't make bets against the regrets that you have let.
That's what they always say.
If you guys haven't already, go follow us.
Mark, Markiplier, Bob, MySkirm.
He's moving to Ohio soon.
Make sure you sub to his YouTube and follow him on Twitch for that.
Extra shout out for moving to Ohio.
Bonus points.
I'm Wade, Minion777 or LordMinion777.
You can find merch,
maybe, probably, hopefully.
It's out there!
Unless it's sold out again.
Store at DestructiblePodcast.com.
I bought some
and I had it shipped to the wrong address.
Merch!
We got it!
You want it!
Go buy it!
And I guess stay tuned for the next one
when Bob will host
and I'm sure great things will happen.
Until then...
Podcast out.