Distractible - The Distractible Gameshow

Episode Date: August 15, 2022

Bob prompts Mark and Wade to share their favorite gameshows, then surprises them with his very own show: "Are You Morons?" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable, a Wood Elf production. This week, the gents discuss their tools and prospectors powered by Cold Fusion Hooch. Bob follows through on a spooky, Wade declares you aren't a person until you can imbibe booze, and Mark admits to antipathy to game shows due to the threat of neutering. Yes, it's time for the Distractible Game Show. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast. Don't respond to that. Just let me have this one. Thank you for listening to Distractible. Hi, hello, hi, welcome. I will be your host today.
Starting point is 00:00:45 My name is Bob. And we're going to have some fun. Because as usual, I'm joined by my co-hosts slash today's competitors, Mark and Wade. Hello. I reckon you're there, Philly. Okay, well that... Oh no. I can't just carry over bits from outside of the podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:03 That doesn't... Nobody knows. They don't have to know why I talk like that. They just have to respect it. That's going to be a struggle too, but you fly that flag, buddy. I reckon I will, Fiddler. I reckon I'm proud of you. I can't say it's your best voice you've ever done.
Starting point is 00:01:21 I mean, it's not the most relatable like character for me. I think it's a it's a fine character. I like Prospector Wade. I reckon he's a fine character. I reckon he's got plenty of wisdom what to share with us.
Starting point is 00:01:37 I feel like I should be making moonshine. Kinda. Yeah. Anyway, how are you guys doing? We had a little pre-recording banter
Starting point is 00:01:44 so I kinda know how Mark's doing. Pretty hot on a new passion, a rekindled passion. Yes. Do you want to talk about it, or is that secret? We had a pretty constructive discussion. Let's see if we can build on that. You nailed that one.
Starting point is 00:02:02 Good, I don't want to screw it up. Power washer. you nailed that one good i don't want to screw it up power washer mark goes from prospector to tie fighter no no i just i i've been on a tool kick just because i built or i helped revamp amongst many other people tyler helped, you know, Jason helped, um, John helped my buddy. He kind of led the charge, but we revamped their workshop. If you've watched corridor crew videos before, you've probably seen that their workshop is a nightmare. It actually is if you go in there. Um, so we revamped it, cleaned it out. We cleaned out the boom, boom room. Uh, we made sure that, that everything was totally safe. You guys aren't
Starting point is 00:02:42 going to ask what the boom, boom room is. I know know what it is i just assumed it was for sex i reckon i already understood that one all right so for those of you i reckon it's for fornicating filler nope that'd be a wrong reckoning okay i misunderstood then explain the boom boom room was the room where they kept the special effects things not for visual effects um they kept propane tanks there they kept fireworks there with matches in the same box so they kept gunpowder there flash powder gasoline uh pretty much everything explosive was in this room and ordinarily that wouldn't be too bad by itself it would be bad but this room also had the two 200 amp panels fuse boxes for the whole studio so if anything shorted out where all of this power is going it's going to spark ignite all of these explosive materials and would just blow up the
Starting point is 00:03:35 building quite literally boom boom room sounds fine yeah sounds fine we we got out that out there but it rekindled my there's no fireworks in there you didn't mention fireworks i sure did actually oh i wasn't listening well at least there's no gunpowder no well there was oh man oh that's what we get wade well at least there's no nuclear fusion it's funny you mentioned they've really been branching out the band experiment that's where they keep what you call it, fissionable materials. That's not where they keep the moonshine, Philly. I've always thought thermonuclear fusion made the best moonshine, the best hooch. Hey, you talk funny.
Starting point is 00:04:19 You look funny. Yeah, I reckon it's because my pa and my pa are also my bro and my bro. All right, anyway. So I built the workbench with the help of many of my friends, and it rekindled my love for carpentry because I built decks for about two years during high school. So even though I don't know what a lot of the tools' names were or the names of certain screws, I knew how to use them so i put them together i'm sorry i just had you not knowing what things are i just had a vision of you on the
Starting point is 00:04:53 job site high school mark and your foreman's like hey mark take these uh take these two by fours down there rip these bad boys on the table saw down we need them uh 12 and a half feet like uh table saw table saw uh is that the spinny zipper or is that the handy whammer your boss is just like head in hand like spinny spinny zipper please go away yeah turns out the handy whapper is the miter saw which you know you could you could forgive me for not understanding the differences between the various saws there are so many saws dude you got your track saw miter saw table saw circular saw saws all which is apparently a brand name i didn't even know that it's a reciprocating saw yeah it's a reciprocating saw yeah cool you got jig saw there's so many saws i loved that movie
Starting point is 00:05:43 series about him i could describe in great detail all There's so many saws. I loved that movie series about him. I could describe in great detail all the differences between these saws, you uneducated gloves. But anyway, so I bought a bunch of tools. If we ever get a sponsorship with these guys, I'll mention their name. But it was just people probably know it because it was so goddamn cheap. It was on sale during this particular time. So I bought like everything. I'm'm so happy so that's fun so mark's about to be campfire woodworking guy just sitting around the campfire and he just pulls out a power saw oh come on you guys want me to saw wonderwall ah shit now i want to see that now i wish that that was real my favorite thing is though the uh the electric nail gun that is a revelation for me that is so cool i'm very happy about that
Starting point is 00:06:41 the silent killer actually it wouldn't be that'd be'd be really loud. No, it's very loud. It's very loud. Yeah. Not at all silent. Yeah. Anyway, that's me. What passions have you rekindled lately, Wayne? Seeing family and friends in person, I guess.
Starting point is 00:06:56 I don't know. Don't sound too happy about it. A little while back, Molly's family came to visit. And this might date the episode, but I was in New York. Oh. Seeing my friend D-Life and I definitely made it back already and I'm not preparing to leave right now. Are you okay? That was a trip that, Will, edit if it was good or not later.
Starting point is 00:07:18 That was a trip, you know? We, and all kinds of stuff. It was great. Why are you talking as if someone has a gun to your head what are you expecting will to do i'm leaving blanks to be filled in later you're gonna send will pickups for them no i just figured there's enough voice samples now i can probably fake it fix it and pre say every word in the english language and he'll fill it in what happened no all you need to do is make every, what are those called? Phoneme?
Starting point is 00:07:47 Make all the different sounds so that you just craft the words. You're right, you're right, you're right. I guess that was a great trip. It was an okay trip. It was a mad trip. The weather was great. Awful. The weather was fine, I guess. We went to the city. We stayed home the whole time. We went out and explored all kinds of stuff. The food was pretty bad. The food was great.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Never better. There you go. There's some adjectives. It's was pretty bad. The food was great. Never better. There you go. There's some adjectives. It's like a restaurant. We went to a restaurant called Vespucci's. Luigi's. Mario's. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:08:15 What do they serve at? The Spoogees? The Spoogees. Oh, okay. Good. That's a place. The Spoogees. You watch.
Starting point is 00:08:24 They're going to go to the Spoogees and they're going to love it. We went to the Spoogees. The Spoogees. The Spoogees. Isn't that the name of the porn awards? You know, the Spoogees. The Spoogees. That's not like the official ones, though.
Starting point is 00:08:40 That's like the streaming equivalent to the Oscars. The Spoogees is for OnlyF fans successful only fans content uh he was on forbes 30 under 30 he got a 2023 spoogey award the man the myth the legend vespoogey did you get a spoogey for your risque calendar mark you make it into the spoogeys or they overlook you yeah they i got snubbed i got snubbed at the spoogeys i'm real uppity about that you know yeah i know i know yeah you're telling me we look into what it takes to make an award at one point did i dream that did we actually look into we talked about what it takes to get into like how you have to submit yourself to get into like award consideration type stuff yeah what if we want to make our own
Starting point is 00:09:23 award we want to make a spoogey i mean i think there's not a lot to it pretty much just say it exists and then follow through on that with some sort of award ceremony or announcement yeah but how do we give it some legitimacy just by like money getting oh easy easy mark saved so much on tools he confronted dude i did i did spend. I did. Spend more, save more. Let me tell you. Spend money to make money. That's why I finally understand that saying. It was so funny because just as I was telling Ethan about this, but also he did buy some
Starting point is 00:09:55 tools as well. He said that his girlfriend said one time, oh man, it's really cool how Mark is so frugal at times. man you know it's really cool how mark is so frugal at times i just i don't know how much i just splurged on tools but but at the same time in certain ways i am because like i wasn't gonna buy new lumber for the workbench i built because lumber is crazy expensive and i i did the forbidden carpentry technique of lengthening wood uh so i made a four by four that wasn't long enough longer what do you have to do to make it longer oh i can't water it you have to just grow it more why is it forbidden trust me
Starting point is 00:10:30 it's forbidden you plant it back in the ground it's like a tree necromancer yeah you put it in the ground and you water it you put some topsoil around it let me just tell you if an inspector came in and looked at what i did uh they would decommission the entire building. Like, it would just, like, condemn everything. So you redid it because the room was unsafe by doing something else that's unsafe. It's perfectly safe. It's very strong.
Starting point is 00:10:54 It's extremely strong. That's very comforting language. But if an inspector saw it, he would shut down the entire city block. Yes. People are saying it's the best bench. It's exceptionally strong. Very strong, even. Could even hold me.
Starting point is 00:11:10 It could. Absolutely, it could. I weigh probably as much as five people at this point. All right. Congrats. What five people? I don't know, like children or something. Small people.
Starting point is 00:11:20 I don't know. Oh, those aren't people. Those are children. I don't weigh that much. Calm down. You're not people until you could drink alcohol jesus christ i didn't register because for a second my brain was like uh-huh i know you just naturally agreed your instinct sounds right to me i guess instincts were spot on all right look. I am the host today, which means I have to move us on from this delightful,
Starting point is 00:11:47 brutal discussion and whatever Wade was going on about. I can't remember because he was just saying a bunch of different nonsense for a while. I reckon it's a good idea, Fiddler. I reckon. Today's topic is game shows. Oh. There's a grand finale that I think you'll very much enjoy. But we're going to start by just talking about game shows, you know, generally.
Starting point is 00:12:15 This is kind of a throwback episode. There's no gimmick. I just wanted to hear you guys talk about if there's one you watched when you were a kid or if you have any memories. I don't know why you're saying it like that. Just if you remember. I don't know why you're saying it like that well just if you remember i don't know kid memories well this makes me think of the you're welcome tour after that you said game shows like oh not horror oh man that was one of our three themes wasn't it earlier on a game show or later on and space were the options yeah i think so we game show changed because we had western for a while too and i feel like game show became something else after that after western
Starting point is 00:12:49 even oh that's right we had western oh man i forgot about that oh you should have used that prospector character voice for the western shows hey western i reckon i don't know what a gurmshur is, but I know what a western is. What? A gurmshur. A gurmshur? Are you the great-great-great-grandfather of the gursperms, girl? Uh, sure. Herma Gurt, it's gursperms. Oh!
Starting point is 00:13:17 That took me a while. Right. The what gurmshur? That's an old meme. Herma Gurt, it's gursperms. Good God. Yeah, Herma G god yeah we stay all the time on the moonshine farm what do you call it what a meme what a reference is that even a meme i feel like that was before memes were memes yeah that sort of predates memes but it effectively was a meme
Starting point is 00:13:38 it was just like an image that it was sort of like a reaction image that people would send right which is like a pre-meme which sounds gross is this a meme holds butterfly yeah i didn't even think about that when i was thinking about this uh episode i didn't even think about our show but our show we did have the game show and it had game show like elements yeah man i'll take the point i was just gonna talk about how i used to watch jeopardy with my dad and i like jeopardy but my dad's smarter than me so i hated it molly's dad is really really really smart he watches uh like those kind of shows still and like sitting and listening to him watch it he just like will spout off the answer like immediately to most of the questions like damn why don't you go on the
Starting point is 00:14:16 show i was never that good at it for some reason that made me think of um when i was in fifth grade there was this teacher that just like you know how when you're a kid, someone will say something and your brain just stops because you have to like look inward and kind of process what they said. So it was like set up like a trick question for some reason, but I don't know what the trick was. So he said to the whole class, it was a substitute teacher. I'd never seen him before. I don't even know if I ever saw him again after this.
Starting point is 00:14:40 I don't know who this man was. I really don't. But he said, raise your hand if you think that you're smarter than me and i like an idiot i rose my hand um he's like he's like i got one and he's like so for some reason i don't know this doesn't make any sense but it burned in my brain he's like okay you think you're smarter than me you might be right but you're not more intelligent than me and that was it and i stopped i'm like what is this a-hole i don't know i don't know what the point was i don't get it so wait rewind were you in a class
Starting point is 00:15:18 or just walking down the street i was in a class i don't know what the class was there was only like eight people in the room i don't remember anything else about the setup. I don't remember why I was there. It was an abandoned classroom. You just wandered in with eight other students and there was someone in there like wearing a tie. Are you smarter than me? Raise your hand. I think he said something afterwards about like, yes, you might be more intuitively smart but i know more
Starting point is 00:15:45 therefore i'm more intelligent that's did he prove any of these things like class dismissed and you never saw him again look i think he said the secret code word to shut down my brain i was just like oh good so you were just being programmed to become like a rogue agent or something yeah no that's lived in my brain for quite a while i just don't know what the point was i don't get it this is off topic which we don't usually do around here but that's such a weird thing i've totally had experiences like that with teachers where clearly the teacher they were trying to feel superior in some way to a bunch of kids and it's like yeah yeah you're an adult you remember when you were a kid two of my lifetimes ago for you i fucking hope you're smarter than me god yeah if you're not you've been doing it wrong yeah it's a weird because it doesn't happen a lot i most of my teachers were various levels of chill and just trying to like teach us stuff
Starting point is 00:16:51 i definitely encountered a couple people not in that specific way that that guy did but yeah they came off that vibe of like oh i can't believe you didn't know that like you're teaching me the ones that blow your mind are the ones that are, like, just so... Like, I had a philosophy of logic. Logic is like philosophy math. But he was the person who could write an equation that would take you, like, two pages to solve. But, like, you could present it to him, and he would just, like, scan it real quick. And, like, you could see he, like, thinks for, like, half a second, and he would just tell you the answer.
Starting point is 00:17:24 He could just instantly process stuff like that it was mind-blowing how like smart he was with that kind of stuff but he wasn't like arrogant about it sounds really useful i'm always stumped when i have to solve my daily logic and reasoning puzzles yeah yeah explain to me what math philosophy is it's been a long time since i've done logic but like do you ever take logic classes bob do you know how a good way to describe it lawyers don't use logic i couldn't tell you it's not about logic it's about reasoning which is different very different so like mostly it was done through symbols so like it looked like algebra equations almost but they were also like oh man i i had let
Starting point is 00:18:04 me let me look it up and see if I can find like a good definition of it rather than sit here and bumble my way through. Webster's Dictionary defines logic as reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity. Basically, I've not taken, so I'm not an expert,
Starting point is 00:18:20 but I think there's like, there's like sets of rules, right? There are types of logical, like conclusions that you're allowed to draw. And there are logical fallacies that will invalidate your argument. So the goal is to like prove that a statement or assertion is logically valid by, it's like writing a theorem almost in like math. You're using the rules of logic to show why your assertion is valid and it's not like math like doing solving an algebra problem but it's like math like writing a proof
Starting point is 00:18:51 that's the thing oh yeah so like an example here all spiders have eight legs black widows are a type of spider conclusion black widows have eight legs but they wouldn't always be like fully worded out sometimes it would be like all a have b c is a therefore c has b so it's an entire course on the transitive property well no not exactly that's just like an example it's more complicated than that it sounds like that's just like a simple that's like the starting problem like it gets to be it's almost like in chemistry, like balancing equations. Sometimes it's like you have to go through and either prove something, find the conclusion to something or find the fault with something. They get really complicated. I only took like two or three of
Starting point is 00:19:35 those courses and there was like one or two more that got like crazy difficult. But, uh, it was, it was very different from normal philosophy because it's less like, oh man, the answer could be anything. And more so like, no, this is a a logic thing so there is an answer or it's faulty it's just it's just very different from normal logic but like i had a professor who could just look at something that had like 80 different conditions and he would just stare at it be like yeah this and it was just crazy how fast he could process those things weird so it's like those questions in iq tests that are just like this is a weird trying how many triangles are in this triangle or something like that right or johnny has two
Starting point is 00:20:10 apples sarah has three if they throw apples at each other and they hit in midair how many apples are left right yeah yeah exactly i think mark's getting it i got it guys i don't think it was basic math but yeah i mean no no i'm a philosophicizer mark's getting it. I got it, guys. I don't think it was basic math, but yeah. No, no. I'm a philosophizer. Mark's getting it. Don't discount this. I got it.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Anyway, game shows, huh? Right, game shows. Do you guys have any? How many legs do spiders have? Do, do, do, do. The John Cena game show. Oh, is that what that is? I thought that was actually a game show theme.
Starting point is 00:20:49 You can't see me. And this show's name is John Cena. Wait, what's the tune that plays and they're like, you're the next contestant. Come on down on the Price is Right. What's the little Price is Right jingle? You got it. Our next contestant come on down on the price is right what's the little price is right jingle you got it our next contestant is isn't it close to that i i don't know man yeah i don't know either so uh rice is right is one that i used to watch it's a good show i used to like the bob barker days drew carrey does a good
Starting point is 00:21:20 job hosting it now but uh we used to sneak up when I was in football during football season. I was also in band and we would have marching band rehearsal during school. So the kids who were like in sports who didn't do marching band would just watch The Price is Right during the band period during the school day. It was awesome. That does sound awesome. Sneak upstairs to the orchestra room and just turn it on is the best. Oh, good stuff.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Good stuff. School. Am I right? School. The only game show that I watched wasn't technically a real game show. I associated with game show, though, because it's just like really one of my favorite shows all the time, which is whose line is it anyway? It's kind of a game show.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Technically, it's not like you're winning prizes or anything like that, or it's not even structured in a way. It's kind of a lot show technically it's not like you're winning prizes or anything like that or it's not even structured in a way it's kind of a lot of the inspiration for this show but at the same time i wasn't one to like game shows i i saw like the price is right but it would make me nervous i don't know why it would just make me nervous like oh god if i was ever there i'd look like a fool i wouldn't be able to spin the wheel right i would trip on the way up i'd knock barker over and he would send me off to the back to get neutered i didn't even know what neutering meant but i just knew that he said that at the end like no no no no neuter your pets like oh god why don't forget to always spay and neuter your contested yeah so it's for some reason
Starting point is 00:22:43 game shows like real game shows made me nervous but i love whose line is anyway even what about like did you ever watch like family feud yeah it made me nervous i feel like that was always just funny because it was the prompt was always like things your wife can sit on show me my penis all right wow weird this is a family show. That's funny, though. Yeah, I don't know. I think they like, just, what is it, Steve Harvey? Is that his name? Yeah, the man who hosts everything. Yeah, it's like, I associate him with Jim from The Office, because I think they
Starting point is 00:23:14 operate on the same energy, except, you know, Steve Harvey's a little more bombastic sometimes. But the way they look in the camera, like, when you said, sit on my penis, and then he just looks at the camera like, I can't believe you did that. I feel like he loves it my penis. And then he just looks at the camera like, I can't believe you did that. I feel like he loves it, though. Like he's always shocked.
Starting point is 00:23:32 But then when it does pop up on the board, he's like, oh, that's right. You got it. Like he's always he's always hype about it. Yeah, I'm sure it's all like instructed that way. And it's intentional. I'm sure the innuendos are part of it. But at the same time, it's just like, man, it just makes me nervous. I just can't imagine being up there and like in a head-to-head competition against some other stranger or against myself or try to guess prices oh fuck their dreams fuck their nightmares you're gonna
Starting point is 00:23:54 beat them no i don't even want to beat them i want them to win i want to lose i was this how you guys know how i play board games like i play settle as a katan with my resources face up so everyone could see what i have like i just want to play cooperative experiences why is there no cooperative game show i feel that way as far as co-op stuff goes too but i don't know the game show aspect i think i just get nervous i just don't want to look like an idiot like i don't want some really obvious thing to come up and then maybe let me at my brain just be like i'm taking the day off see you i will tell you one game show that i now I'm thinking about it that I really liked. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Legends of the Hidden Temple. That's on my list. A classic. A fucking banger of a game show. Too bad it was subject to this time in Nickelodeon's history where they only let shows run for about three seasons and then canceled them so they could have a constant rotation. They could bring it back. Did you see that they did bring it back? Did they? this a movie no no there was a reboot of legends of the
Starting point is 00:24:50 temple uh it aired in 2021 what 13 episodes aired the first episode aired on october 10th 2021 is this correct this is what imdb is telling me No way. It was the 13 episode reboot of Legends of the Hidden Temple. It appears to have been filmed outdoors, which is already the wrong vibe. Yeah. But it's out there. It is out there. I remember hearing about this in the midst of the pandemic, being like, oh, I love that show.
Starting point is 00:25:17 And then I never heard about it again. Yeah. I don't even know what station this aired on. I don't even know the CW. I'm just looking at the Wikipedia. Yeah, CW watermarks appear to be on. There's like a trailer for it on YouTube. Anyway, they did it.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Apparently it was not good because I didn't hear a goddamn thing about it. Yeah. It sounds fun. I didn't either. Okay, so the basic format of the 2021 revival said each episode lasts a full hour rather than a half hour. I don't know why. Each episode features four teams of adults. What? With same gender teams allowed, the first three teams to cross the mode advance to the Steps of Knowledge. Episode featured legend is now told more extensively in separate parts before each round instead of just before the steps of knowledge. Two temple games, each played for a full pendant, blah blah blah.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Olmec reveals the location of the artifact before the temple run instead of the temple steps of knowledge. 11 rooms instead of 12 rooms are much larger. Temple guards often appear after the contestant finishes a room's objective instead of right when the player enters a room. Well then where's the jump scare? Man, why did they change it? I don't get it. When people are like rebooting things, people don't want a reimagining of it. They want the nostalgia of it.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Like who wants a bunch of adults playing this? It was like the fact that it was basically children being subjected to the horrors of the hidden temple and like running through. It was a kid's show for kids like so kids could imagine themselves there. That's what I imagined. I was like, man, I want to try that. That was one of the few game shows when I was a child i was like i actually want to try it but i would be terrified of the guards in the temple like that scared me the most actually going into
Starting point is 00:26:52 the temple yeah it looked legitimately scary yeah it absolutely did it's so weird but also i wanted to be on it and i wanted to be what was the what were the teams wasn't it like purple cobras yeah they had names. I forget. It was color animal. I wanted to be color animal. I don't know. I'm blanking between dodgeball, whatever the cobras were in that, and the cobras you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Yeah. Well, they were the purple cobras as well. Oh, okay. That's why I thought of that. Yeah. Oh, red jaguars, blue barracudas, green monkeys, orange iguanas, purple parrots, and silver snakes. Purple parrots. Purple parrots.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Hell yeah. Purple parrots. The coolest team. Did you say silver snakes? Silver snakes. What is silver? Is there gold? It's alliterative.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Yeah. What was red? Jaguars. That's not alliterative. What animal begins with R that sounds cool? Red. Rorses. Ruars. That's not alliterative. What animal begins with R that sounds cool? Red. Rorses. Rabbids.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Raccoons. Rhinoceros. Red Rorses, Raggy. Ringies. God. You put me on the spot. I didn't know. This is why you wouldn't survive a game show.
Starting point is 00:28:16 I get it now. I understand. I get you. I get you. A mix of highlights, though. Oh, man. That was good. Thank you thank you oh that reminds me this is like the douchiest thing but one of my favorite jeopardy highlights of all time not that there
Starting point is 00:28:32 really are jeopardy highlights we were watching an episode and so someone tried to like give an answer i don't even remember what the prompt was but they were like uh what is passover and and alex trebek was like oh no not passover and someone else rang in really excitedly and it was a lady and she was like what's passover alex and he was like uh no no not passover third contestant that would be you wouldn't it wayne i would love i'd love to see that yeah dude if i wasn't listening a hundred%. I would love to see you compete in some sort of game show. That kind of stuff, if you were so deep in thought, though, to where you're not even listening,
Starting point is 00:29:11 and you hear someone say something like that, it can come across as being a thought, though. I've been there, to where someone says something, and it's wrong or whatever, and my brain's just like, what if I said this? And I have no recollection of someone else saying it. And someone's like, I just said that. It's like, oh, I didn't even hear you say it but i think it's my your brain just like
Starting point is 00:29:28 thinking it's your own thought because you're so deep in thought we've experienced that on this show many times i'm sure people could pull that up it's true i read it show us some examples you got your work cut out for you as your homework assignment anyway that is definitely a classic have you guys ever watched i don't i would say this is kind of a game show even though it's not really have you ever watched most extreme elimination challenge yes yes i've forgotten about it i think so that's the one where they like had the crazy obstacle courses and stuff oh my god it's like if they made wipe out in japan in the 90s yes yes i have seen that yes for anyone who doesn't know most extreme elimination challenge i believe it
Starting point is 00:30:12 aired on comedy central or like spike or something they took real episodes of a i think it was japanese i'm not 100 sure but i think they took real episodes of a real japanese uh like obstacle course game show where people it was like if you've seen the modern show Wipeout, it was basically that they would have these courses where you're like swinging on a rope or running across these floaty pads or whatever. There's all these different courses. But then these American comedians took the footage of that show and completely dubbed it. So all the people like the hosts had these ridiculous names. The host who was always in the field interviewing people was named gila douche i remember him yeah and all of the competitors always had like weird names with weird backstories and that that was a game show if you've never seen mxc it's on youtube
Starting point is 00:30:56 you should check it out is all of it on youtube ah well i don't know if it's like legally on youtube it's not like on any streaming service i've seen. So you can see snippets and or, you know, maybe pirated episodes on YouTube. It's worth checking out and seeing if you can find a way to watch it because it's super funny. Apparently you can watch it on Sling TV, Amazon Prime Video, Tubi, and Pluto TV.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Wow. Are those like you can buy it though or like you can watch it on the streaming? It's free on Prime Video according to this episode to this episode guide it's free on amazon prime video i will say sling you need a subscription i'm bringing this up as a fond memory it was made in like the early 2000s and i have no specific statements about whether or not the comedy holds up because we all know things like that from our childhood and then you i might turn it on and the first thing is like a weird homophobic joke or something and it's like hey yeah oh i
Starting point is 00:31:52 don't remember that i went back and watched the first season of dragon ball z a bridge not too long ago and i don't remember how seasons the next couple seasons ago man season one definitely the the comedy is dated no no you're absolutely right i do remember some extremely off-color jokes occurring in that uh yeah particular show yes uh however there's another game show that reminded me of because i i keep forgetting that these things are kind of game shows and i've been watching a lot of it because i've been learning korean but also it's just a good show running man running man running man is a korean show it's a pseudo game show in that there is constant competition and there is a winner but it's got like the same cast in a rotating like slot for guests uh but the
Starting point is 00:32:34 setups that they do it's so creative the different things that they always come up with for every episode some of them get a little stale after a while it goes through uh like periods i'm starting from the beginning and like going to the end and And I've only made it to like episode 120 because there's like 500 episodes. But sometimes it's just like the most genius, incredible thing. Like it's impossible to describe, but it is a great show. Interesting. Yeah, I've not heard of this. I'm just sort of Googling pictures and stuff. It looks kind of funny. It's very funny. It's very entertaining. It's very funny it's it's very entertaining it's very funny i love the people who are on that like i said so it has its ups and downs because
Starting point is 00:33:11 they just do one every week and there's so many episodes um but when it hits it hits hard it's so good i really thoroughly enjoy the show interesting this isn't a real game show but in the show supernatural there's an episode where they get stuck in like a Japanese style game show called Nutcracker, where if you get your answer to a question wrong, you get hit in the nuts with a hammer. How did they? What? That was a fun one to watch. This is the show with like angels and demons, right?
Starting point is 00:33:36 That's the show? Yeah. I've never watched it. Dude, the first five seasons are some of the best ever made. I've never watched it either, but the screenshots of nut cracker are just awesome yes boots attached to platforms with a big it's like a big mace lined right up to hit you right in the nuts wow all jokes aside though the first five seasons of supernatural it went to like 14 seasons but the first five seasons are some of the best seasons of any show i've ever seen in my life then what happened to the rest so i think this is a bit of an aside it was written for five seasons but the show was doing so well that they
Starting point is 00:34:08 were like well what if we keep making it and so after it concluded its original plot they kept going and the acting and stuff's fine but the writing was just like they wrote themselves into a hole where they escalated so much for the fifth season that it was like how do we top this and i don't know it just something was lost after season five that never quite got recaptured yeah the story well yes but the story was lost yeah it was still it was still a good show but just it wasn't like supernatural for the first five seasons of the like my favorite of any show i've ever watched yeah top top tier i believe it and nutcracker falls into those first five seasons yeah i just hate when shows go way too long. And it's like plot shows versus game shows. Game shows can go on forever
Starting point is 00:34:47 because like, you know, you can always come up with new bits to do and there's no real through thread that you need, which is why they last forever. But at the same time, it's like shows need to end. Why is everyone so afraid to end the things that they have? Just like take the same IP and just tell another story in the universe
Starting point is 00:35:02 with different characters. Just do that. Yeah, I mean, that's fair. At the time I wanted them to keep, I the universe with different characters. Just do that. Yeah. I mean, that's fair. At the time, I wanted them to keep. I was like, yes, they're going to keep going. And then like now looking back, it's like I kind of wish they had wrapped when they originally wanted to just because it was a good, well-written story. But anyway, Nutcracker.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Very funny. Mm hmm. You know what, guys? All this talk of all these quality game shows has really inspired me. Oh? I think it's time we move on to the grand finale. I don't want to get hit in the nuts. What?
Starting point is 00:35:33 Oh, no. That's right. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Are You Morons? Oh, no. I'm your host, Bob Miskins, and today we've got two new contestants who are here to put their wills and wits to the test. Everybody say hello and give a warm welcome
Starting point is 00:35:56 to Mark Fischbach and Wade Barnes. Gentlemen, hello and welcome to the show. Hi. Hello. How's it going? It's great to have you here. Good. As everybody knows, this is America's favorite game show where we really put you on the spot
Starting point is 00:36:11 and see if you can remember stuff you learned a long time ago. Uh-huh. Well, all right. I guess I might as well leave, I thought. Of course, everybody knows the format of their favorite game show, but just to give you a refresher, contestants start with 20 points each. We will answer a number of questions, and we will progress through the five grades of primary school.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Each grade will get a little bit harder, and each grade will have five subjects. Don't worry, because we let you pick the subjects that you get to answer questions about, and yeah, if you get a question wrong, you lose a point. It's possible to go negative in this game, ladies and gentlemen, but that won't happen. Our intrepid contestants would never let that happen.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Okay. Usually game shows start with a little personal banter, but we're just going to go ahead and skip that because I feel like we pretty much establish it. So, fellas, you ready to quiz? Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. Oh yeah, dude. Yeah. Born ready. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, we're going to start in first grade and it's going to
Starting point is 00:37:10 be real easy. I'm going to let one of you pick a subject. I'm going to read you a question and then you're going to have approximately 10 to 15 seconds. There's a timer. It'll run. And, uh, when it's done, you'll hear this sound. And that means either you have typed your answer in Discord and I will tell you if it's right or wrong or you'll just lose the point because you didn't submit an answer. Okay. And these are basic questions. I'm sure you guys will remember all these
Starting point is 00:37:34 and none of them will be stuff that there's no chance you remember from almost years ago. It'll be fine. Don't date us, man. Don't date the episode. Sorry, bleep that out, man. Don't date the episode. Sorry. Bleep that out, Will. Some number of years ago.
Starting point is 00:37:58 Anyway, your subjects are math, science, social studies, language arts, and geography. You might say social studies and geography are pretty related, but I would say shut your mouth. Let's play a game are they related uh they're not unrelated but social studies is more like history and geography is more like where's that uh-huh so not really related but sometimes they're intertwined because different things in history happen different geographically so yeah they can be and it's fine i spent a while looking over these questions and i'm not a teacher or a game show host so i would say the quality of the questions is dubious at best but we're just gonna make it work okay all right so i've tossed a coin and wait i'm gonna give you first selection
Starting point is 00:38:34 all right we're gonna start in first grade you each have 20 points right now and uh what of those subjects would you like to answer a question about okay so uh assuming that these get harder as things go because like first grade math is probably super easy, but if I can only pick the subject once, I'd want to save math for later. Oh no, you're going to be able to pick subjects. You can't do them back to back, but you can pick the same subject again once you've like gone through everything. Let's try first grade geography. First grade geography. Yeah. All right. This one is going to be a little bit of education and a little bit of personal experience. I will read the question. You can start typing as soon
Starting point is 00:39:13 as I start reading the question, but as soon as the timer sounds and the buzzer goes off, you have to have some kind of answer in. It doesn't have to be spelled correctly. I'll sound out phonetic spellings or whatever. Cool. Here we go. Question number one. In what country is Tilburg located? Is it Norwea? Oh, come on guys i know ethan didn't know where we were when we were in tillburg but you must remember wait was i supposed to also answer yeah we're both answering yeah you're both answering what yeah mark you put your put your answer in mark quick you did it during the screaming
Starting point is 00:40:00 uh uh uh don't look at wades don't cheat close enough i'd like to object that he had an extra like two minutes on this he wasn't even paying attention okay you're both didn't know he was picking i thought that that's my fault that's my fault you're both answering every question because you both have the opportunity to lose a point there i want to answer it again wade you only get to submit one answer yeah i misspelled it the first time that's what i meant to say oh okay uh fine that was my bad look i told you i'm not a game show host i told you this was dubious at best all of this is dubious at best did we do a show in tilburg yes remember oh no ethan was we were like ethan what language do they speak and he was like oh i don't know it's just great to be in the bag oh god yes God, yes. If I remembered that, I would have totally remembered the Netherlands.
Starting point is 00:40:47 That was like our first show, wasn't it? Yes, it was. It was our first show on the European tour. Oh, God. Yeah, the Berg. Well, as everyone knows, and as these two men definitely knew within the time limit, sorry I explained the rules so poorly, Tilburg is located in the Netherlands. No one loses any points.
Starting point is 00:41:03 I'll let that slide. That's my bad. Good. I'm glad we got geography out of the way i'm never picking that again is it netherlands not netherland it's the netherlands not netherland but mommy i want to go to netherland closer than norwea all right mark uh anyway uh great job Both contestants got it right. Mark, would you like to pick our second first grade subject? Let's go first grade math. Oh, perfect.
Starting point is 00:41:31 First grade math. All right. Almost too easy. All right. This one, I'm going to extend the timer a little bit because there's a little bit of there might be some more typing involved. What makes a square a square? Please give me the definition of a square
Starting point is 00:41:46 oh okay did we get it? Okay. I don't mind the spelling of equal. It's supposed to be equal? I'm seeing potentially a little bit of cheating in chat, but this is the nature. I guess I should have had you guys type your answers in somewhere separately. It looks like you both got it right. Yay!
Starting point is 00:42:21 Square is a shape with four equal length sides that are arranged with four right angles connecting them. It's interesting that Mark put half of his answer before and half of his answer after Wade's fully complete answer. No, no. We got those in at the exact same time. Uh-huh. Yes. We did. We did. Hey, no one
Starting point is 00:42:38 loses any points. Okay. Look at that. And just... I'm so scared of this game, Mark. I agree with you. Game shows are scary. My problem was I keep... I've been using this tool called a square all week last week.
Starting point is 00:42:54 And a square is actually a triangle in carpentry. I was like... Oh, yeah. A square. You know, a douchey, dim-witted guy. Don't be a square, dude. Whoa. All right, okay.
Starting point is 00:43:09 Listen, one more first grade topic, all right? Wade, you have science, social studies, and language arts. Where are we going? Oh, man, we got to knock out language arts. Language arts. All right. This might be my favorite question that I have on this whole thing. So I'm really excited for this one.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Great. I can't wait to get it wrong and be made fun of. Okay. Language arts. The art of language. Emily and Ellie raked the soil. What did Gracie do to the seeds? That's not an acceptable answer way to keep trying well well one of you got this completely correct and one of you seems to have given up uh mark
Starting point is 00:44:03 you're right she She planted them. Where did we get context for what Emily did in that? Wade's answer he submitted was not enough info. I would have accepted any past tense verb. Planted, ate. I put ate. Pooped. You put ate after time was up, my good man.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Oh, I get it. No, no, no. That was before the timer. It was a test of whether you understand tenses or not so obviously great job mark no points lost for you so yeah wade your answer should have been was not enough info oh no it's still not enough info that's true though that's true and you said it wasn't a good answer so i put eight after that it was after the buzzer i was watching i'm watching very carefully this is a tightly controlled the discourse load and slow because i had entered then there was like a beep no you can even see the time stamps mine's
Starting point is 00:44:53 at 10 19 a.m this is at 10 20 it's clearly over the line yeah a whole minute later clearly uh you guys are on the other side of the country so clearly my loading time is longer uh-huh don't worry there's plenty more opportunities for you to catch up but of course after that fun and delightful first round we're gonna move right along to the second grade everybody remembers the second grade i'm starting to get a little bit more complicated uh problems are getting a little wordier i'm excited for this one so second grade mark it's your choice what second grade topic would you like to start with more complicated. Problems are getting a little wordier. I'm excited for this one. So second grade.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Mark, it's your choice. What second grade topic would you like to start with? Can I get a reminder of the topics again? Your options are math, science, social studies, language arts, and geography. History unraveling the mystery. Let's go science. Second grade science. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:45:46 All right. These things collect energy from the movement of the air. Interesting. interesting this one was a little bit of a trap the correct answer is wind turbines when windmills also technically a wind turbine generates energy from the movement of the air pushing against the blades of the turbine spinning the turbine blades windmills convert the physical energy of the wind into physical energy in the mill inside they do not generate any energy they simply convert one form of kinetic energy into another form of kinetic energy okay right because you said semantics collect okay all right yeah collect okay i get it yeah um uh one thing i do want to quote from dbz a bridge uh-huh nerd i could subtract points from you at any time as long
Starting point is 00:46:53 as you know that i'm not doing that right now but uh okay that was an impression i was doing of someone i accept that because it is it is technically. Windmills do not collect energy. That makes sense. I get that. But what about a single windmill, huh? No, it's not. Not an English test. You said these things collect energy.
Starting point is 00:47:13 So wait, it's double wrong. It was a misspelling. It was a typo. I was told typos would be accepted. Windmills is wrong, but windmill is correct. That's what's happening. Wait, it's your choice. Where are we going next?
Starting point is 00:47:26 Oh, what's the one subject we haven't done yet? Social studies? I think everyone, yeah, social studies, we have not. Let's do social studies. All right, this one gets a little bit existential, but I'm pretty excited to see what you come up with. Second grade, social studies. Who was George Washington.
Starting point is 00:47:56 One answer is sufficient. Thank you. What do you mean? I thought that they were all pretty crucial. Well, I mean, Wade answered more, but there's no extra credit. You're both correct. George Washington was the first president of the United States. All right.
Starting point is 00:48:15 I want to submit that Mark typed that George Washington was the first president. No, it says George Washington in there. I see it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, hang on. I'll fix it. Oh, look at that. Added it at the end.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Also, Wade, if you're talking semantics i think you mean cherry tree that was an apple tree no it's definitely a cherry tree that he notoriously chopped down who fucked the apples then that would be johnny apple fucker he ate them then planted them. It's past tense. Anyway, you're both right. All right. But can you ever really know someone? Who was George Washington? Who was he? It's a much more complicated question than you might think.
Starting point is 00:48:52 You're right. Only Martha knows. Why did I say that name? Second grade sucks. I say we move on to third grade. Okay. All right. Well, man, we get two answers right, and Bob's done with the whole year.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Yeah, it's not funny if you don't get them wrong. All right. You didn't get two. You got one answer right in that one because of the windmill situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were right. It's fine. We're in third grade now.
Starting point is 00:49:14 You're older. You're wiser. Oh, God. Take us back. You know bigger numbers and more complicated words. I missed first grade. And I believe it's Mark's pick. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Let's go linguistics. Language I believe it's Mark's pick. Yeah. Let's go linguistics. Language arts? Language arts. Language arts. I'll take Spanish for 300. Alright. Third grade language arts. Please give me an example of a transitional word. oh did that get in time oh i'm gonna count that with the with the slight delay on discord i'm
Starting point is 00:49:58 gonna say that that was like right at the buzzer i'll allow. I used to know a little jingle of trend, whatever. I don't know if I still remember them. Okay. Transitional words are words and phrases that help you transition. They illustrate relationships between words and other phrases. Mark said through and Wade said along with. I have a long list. I'm going to look. Oh God. I i'm gonna say that neither of these is on here but i don't know if this is a an exhausting list yeah i i honestly had no idea what it was so i was just like what fuck it could be a i feel like along with it's gotta be close yeah i don't know if through is i'm really not seeing either of these on my list that i'm using for reference though man hang on fact checking fact checking it's like okay i'm looking in transitional words i literally never even considered this this is why like language learning is silly because in another
Starting point is 00:50:56 language you're like who's gonna learn all the transitional words or the past participles like in our native language we don't know what these are yeah let's see um in the first place okay again to and also moreover together with similarly together with would be like along the lines of along with i think i think along with is along with is yeah yeah through would have to be some kind of really poetic usage to be a transitional word yeah sorry mark that's kind of the conclusion i came to as well i found a i found an image with a long width on it the thing is like with language is like it's it's not really what the word is it's how it's used and you can use any pretty much any word to do anything but i will accept that because i i just control f through on this list and it's
Starting point is 00:51:42 not here so if it's not there, I found one with mine on there. I would believe along with. Yeah. Tough, tough question. Unless I could use it in a sentence that's transitional. I don't think it can count. Moreover was the one I was trying to remember,
Starting point is 00:51:54 but I couldn't remember the word moreover. And I don't know how the fuck my brain spat out along with, I don't know if I've ever used that. All right. But Hey, we're, we're, we're tied now again.
Starting point is 00:52:04 You guys are tied. Yeah. Hey Mark, we both tied now again? You guys are tied, yeah. Hey, Mark, we both are good or bad or both. It's anyone's game coming into fourth grade now. Oh, God. You've graduated once more. Fourth graders get into really complex topics and even bigger numbers. So you're shied away from the math here. You're in fourth grade.
Starting point is 00:52:23 Congratulations. Thank you. Mark, it's your pick. Again? No, I're in fourth grade congratulations thank you mark it's your pick again no i just picked i mean wait it's your pick well you said we were afraid of math i disagree let's go fourth grade math what did i learn in fourth grade is that when division was you know what happens in fourth grade math what what happens in fourth grade math trains what what what your question for fourth grade math is if a train leaves the station traveling at 60 miles per hour oh god how much time will have passed when it arrives at a station exactly 300 miles away how fast is it moving 50 60 miles an hour okay well both your answers are in so that's fine hey shut up there you go i could
Starting point is 00:53:12 tell them to shut up i kept trying to think through what the trick was and i guess we'll find out if there was one or not this yeah i was kind of hoping you would trick yourselves on this one you're both correct yay five hours it be 500 hours or exactly 300 minutes would have passed because it was traveling a mile a minute. 500 hours. Yep. That's what I said. Five hours.
Starting point is 00:53:34 500 million hours will have passed or 300 minutes. Either one of those. Oh, there must have been some hills along the way. It's a quantum train. Right. Well, good. Good pick. Good good knowing you guys are smarter than fourth graders it's hell yeah impressive all right it is actually your turn to pick a topic though mark um let's go history all right social studies it is all right all right all right i'm glad we were avoiding geography after that first one because man i felt real stupid i forgot about geography but history it is social studies
Starting point is 00:54:09 social studies we could do that your fourth grade social studies question is the battle of gettysburg was fought during which war okay not a lot of mystery on that one. They both answered correctly right away. It's the Civil War, of course. I got a feeling in my stomach like, oh God, he's going to ask where the Gettysburg Battle was. I don't want to do geography. We grew up kind of close to there, so that wasn't too bad.
Starting point is 00:54:42 You know what? You guys blew through fourth grade. I think I made it too easy on you. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. It was real hard. We had to work real hard. Okay, you're just exceptionally smart fourth graders.
Starting point is 00:54:52 You know what that means? I'm going to move you up a grade. You're fifth graders now. Why am I a better fourth grader than I was a first grader? What happened? I told you the quality of these questions is dubious. It also means the difficulty is all over the map. Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:03 There's no consistency whatsoever. Okay, what are the easiest five graders ones? It also means the difficulty is all over the map. Okay. There's no consistency whatsoever. Okay, what are the easiest five graders ones? Oh, no, we've got some real bangers in the fifth grade questions. That's for sure. Okay. Damn it. Yeah, so fifth grade.
Starting point is 00:55:18 And I think we're potentially going to do all five categories in fifth grade. Depends how much time we have. I'm curious. But I'll let you pick which one we do first. Wade? Oh, is it me? God, let's just knock out geography then. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:55:28 Oh, no. Oh, no. Fifth grade geography. Oh, man. All right. Fifth grade geography question is, how many countries are in North America? Oh, no. Oh no wait oh wait did we screw up that is time wait no i gotta be honest when i was researching these questions i came across this one and i was like everyone knows that oh no and i came up with the exact same answer that you both did. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:56:07 You both said that there are three countries in North America, which unfortunately is incorrect. Is it four? No, it's five. No. What? United States, America. That's three.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Would you like me to tell you or do you want to keep guessing? Because all I can say is you're not even close. It's, oh, man. Yeah, there's there's panama cuba the dominican republic uh that's latin america that's that's its own continent now we're giving it its own no is it though is is there a continent called central america no the eighth continent latin america there's not central Central America is actually attached to North America. Oh, there will be.
Starting point is 00:56:47 I'm going to decree it when I become president. There are 23 countries of the world located in North America, including Canada, the United States, Mexico, all the sovereign states in the Caribbean, and all the Central American nations. You cannot edit your answers. No, but it's not edited. Parenthesis, not edited.
Starting point is 00:57:14 Got it. I see what you did there. Yeah, that one, I will fully admit, I did not know either. 23 is way more than I would have guessed. I literally thought of it after I typed in three.
Starting point is 00:57:27 I was like, wait. Oh, God. With the Panama Canal. Wait, what's Panama? Wait, Cuba. Wait. Fifth grade's hard, man. Fifth grade's hard.
Starting point is 00:57:36 But that means, Mark, it's your pick. Pick another topic for this party. Oh, God. I'm just glad that one's done. Science? Fifth grade science. right yeah i was gonna say i'm sorry for this one at a time oh no oh no oh no your fifth grade science question is what tool is used to estimate the likelihood of certain genetic outcomes. What? You learn this in biology,
Starting point is 00:58:10 and it's commonly known by children around the world. I'm going to let you finish. It was worth the wait wasn't it and of course the correct answer is a punnett square mark did you google that no you just remember that i knew the p's yeah the p experiments yeah you you use a punnett square i remember the punnett square but man that takes me back to... Read Wade's answer. Wade's attempt at an answer, which unfortunately is not correct. No, no, no, no, no. It's Thermometer, but special.
Starting point is 00:58:52 No, read the whole answer. Thermometer, but special. I mean, Punnett Square. Yeah. I don't even know if... Is that how you spell it? It's two N's. Punnett.
Starting point is 00:59:03 Damn it! Ah, okay. Actually... You can't even cheat right. Two N's, two T's, because it's named after a guy. It's Punnett. But, yeah. Punnett Square. Mmm. Mmm, science.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Well, we've got more categories. Got it. More, what are these called? Classes? Genres? What do you call it in school? Topics? Great grades?
Starting point is 00:59:23 I don't know. Subjects? Subjects. Subjects. Oh. Did you call it in school? Topics? Grades? I don't know. Subjects? Subjects. Subjects! Oh, did I get it in time? Hey, nice. You can't gain points, though. You can only lose points. Okay. Wade, pick another subject.
Starting point is 00:59:36 What have we done so far? We've done geography and science. Yep. Let's do social studies. Your fifth grade social studies question is, what was the name of the last queen of France? Oh. oh and of course known uh famously if inaccurately as having said then let them eat cake uh the last queen of france was marie antoinette which mark said queen antoinette i'm gonna accept that that's close enough.
Starting point is 01:00:25 I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know if she was a queen, though. I was not sure. I couldn't remember her last name. She was, according to my research, which again, may be totally wrong. She was the last queen of France. And Wade said Marie Francie. She got decapitated.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Does that count as a queen? Mary France. Mary Francie. She got decapitated? Does that count as a point? Marie Francie. Marie Francie. It's Marie Francie. Thank you. Queen Marie Francie. You know what, Wade? I'm going to accept Marie Francie.
Starting point is 01:00:58 I'm going to give you that one. It's a very French name, Antoinette. It's pretty Francie, if I'm honest yeah i will accept that answer sir that's funny i knew she got decapitated it's the only one i knew the answer too i didn't know any other queens so i was like well i'll put marie well we have two subjects left and mark you get to pick which one we see first uh what are the two subjects left? Recess and lunch. Math and language arts.
Starting point is 01:01:27 Let's go language. Language arts. All right. Give me an antonym for the word beautiful. It's the same thing. All right. Easy peasy. Both of their answers came in right away.
Starting point is 01:01:45 You both answered ugly, which is correct. Yay! Antonym meaning, of course, a word having the opposite meaning. Mm-hmm. That's the technical definition. This one I've been excited for. As you all know, my wife is sort of a math genius, so I had some help developing the math questions for the fifth grade course.
Starting point is 01:02:03 What? Wait, hold on. Are you sure this the fifth grade appropriate? Uh-huh. No, she assured me that these are definitely fifth grade level questions. Oh, no. Would you like the first one or the second one? Because they're both just bangers.
Starting point is 01:02:15 There's two? I have two questions for all these subjects. I was just picking them based on how things were going. Oh. Dealer's choice. Yeah. All right. I'll give you one that I think you have a chance at
Starting point is 01:02:26 because one of these, you just literally have no shot whatsoever. Okay. Well, I want to hear that one. Your fifth grade math question. Yeah, well, we'll get to that afterwards. Your fifth grade math question is, if I leave my house and walk four meters to the east,
Starting point is 01:02:39 turn 90 degrees and walk three meters to the north, how far am I in a straight line from my house? Oh, interesting, interesting. Square, I meant square root root i got you i i got you so the correct answer of course involves paying a visit to your old friend pythagoras and using his theorem uh and only one of you did it correctly great and that person is wade because i'm five meters from my house mark's answer was the square root of 32, which is close. I put them out of order, but this is like the simplest Pythagorean. Three plus four equals five is like, I mean, squared.
Starting point is 01:03:35 But I tricked you by putting them out of order. Also, that was the much easier math question. Wait. And weirdly enough. Wait, you said four meters and four meters. Three and four. I walked four meters east and three meters north. I weirdly enough. Wait, you said four meters and four meters. Three and four. I walked four meters east and three meters north. I heard four.
Starting point is 01:03:49 I heard four and three. Four was in there once for sure. I heard four and four. I heard three and four. There's no way Wade got it right accidentally. What? There's a three, four, five triangle. I'm sorry, Mark.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Your fifth graders should be able to listen to a whole sentence no matter how long it is, Mark. I heard four and four i really hope that on listen you actually said four and four and i just heard what i wanted to hear i hope i said it right no but i i was very particular because i wanted to make sure it was correct we'll see in post i guess that's fair that's fair i might have misheard uh i would give it that you know what you want You want a redemption, Mark? Let's do the other one. We're tied right now, actually, aren't we? You guys are tied. If you can get this one right, I guarantee you Wade doesn't know it.
Starting point is 01:04:30 How dare you? I guarantee you that none of us know it, but maybe Mark does. Oh, okay. Your second and bonus tie-breaking fifth grade math question is, what is that line in the middle of a fraction called? Oh, shit. Oh, my God. All right. all right and of course as we all know the line that divides a fraction is called a vin column
Starting point is 01:05:11 what i gotta be honest even mandy didn't know that one i was just researching weird questions to ask about math and this came up mark's answer was division line which good guess i feel like that's what a normal person would call it wade's answer was a line, which, good guess. I feel like that's what a normal person would call it. Wade's answer was a horizontal line. Yeah, clearly I just wanted to draw a Venn column because it was faster than typing out the word. Oh, that's true. You did draw a Venn column, which is not inaccurate. No, I mean, that's, I guess it's a tie then.
Starting point is 01:05:41 Shit. All right. Dual hosting. Thanks for having us. All right. I sort of figured you'd all get a lot more incorrect well would you rather tie or would you rather me assign points to the discussion section because you didn't get any points for that technically you're the host you
Starting point is 01:05:52 decide what happened yeah you're just trying to do this fine i'm i don't want to do shit i'm done hosting okay i did my job all right i did the work you both host next week good luck okay join host all right done we've done it once before. We'll do it again. Did we? Someone did that. You too. I made you two dual hosts. Yeah. Alright, I don't remember it. Just like I didn't hear four and three. My work's cut out for me, everyone.
Starting point is 01:06:16 I will say, you guys only got four questions wrong each. And I was thinking it was gonna be more than that. I can't believe Mark got pun at square. Yeah. That was impressive. I can't believe Mark got Punnett Square. Yeah. That was impressive. I can't believe you gave me credit for Marie Franci. Listen.
Starting point is 01:06:33 Well, you didn't know the right person. Yeah, you were on the right track. You just, you know. Marie Franci. Names are hard. That French lady. What's her face? Alex Trebek is rolling in his grave right now. What's her face?
Starting point is 01:06:43 Alex Trebek is rolling in his grave right now. Well, thank you, gentlemen, for participating in my game show on this episode about game shows. Do you have a joint victory speech, I guess? We did it. We did it. All right. Excellent. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 01:07:05 As the obvious loser here, I will just say that I'm a little unsettled about what's going to happen in the next episode because I didn't think about the fact that I would be the only contestant if I made you both win. So I guess we'll see. We'll see. And everybody out there, as we get older, make sure you get your regular Van Cullum checkups. Yeah. Doctor said I got a growth of my Van Cullum.
Starting point is 01:07:19 I have to get that lasered off. You don't want to get a Van Cullum-oscopy. Anyway, thank you for listening. Check out our individual pages. Mark Plyer, LordMinion777, MyScrub. We do stuff on YouTube and other places. Check out the merch. Store.DistractablePodcast.com
Starting point is 01:07:35 Have I still really not learned that? Is that, that's it, right? I think you got it, Feller. I did, dude. Yes, Store.DistractablePodcast.com Thank you, thank you for having my back. Yeah, make sure you follow this podcast on Spotify or wherever you listen so that you know that every Monday there's a new episode.
Starting point is 01:07:50 That's going to be it for the podcast. I hope you enjoyed our game show. It was probably as good or better than any of the other game shows we talked about, and I look forward to my torture next week for forcing Mark and Wade to do trivia. It could be nice. It could be. We'll see, I guess, won't we? I guess.
Starting point is 01:08:07 I guess so. Any whoozles. Podcast out.

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