Do Go On - 192 - Conman, “Prince” Gregor MacGregor

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at doogawonpod.com. At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love.

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Starting point is 00:01:29 That's blueniow.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates National average 12 month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved

Starting point is 00:02:00 with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings were very discounts not available in our safe and situations. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do-Go On. My name is Dave Warnicki and I'm sitting in a studio with Matt Chewett and Jess Perkins. Hello, yes. We're still doing this bullshit where he's name first. Yeah, Matt's still first. Wait, he's gonna do it for six months.

Starting point is 00:02:41 And then it's my turn? Again, yes. Then you get six months on six months off. It's how it always is. We're five-o. Yeah, that's what we like here. It do go on. Uh-huh.

Starting point is 00:02:51 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh, one two. Let me just say. A catchphrase I developed on the island of Coaching. I knew you have done that for many years. Too many years. But it went public.

Starting point is 00:03:01 You're a very versatile. You can do sound checks. One, two, aha. Aha, one, two. Check check, yes, aha. Oh my go to catch right. Which is great, because I never know what to say when somebody says,

Starting point is 00:03:14 oh, just give me a level. I'm always like, this is me talking alone. I'm like, 111. 111. Oh, it's awful. It's so bad. Oh my, I just start talking normally like this. And they go, oh, I have to turn this up so much more.

Starting point is 00:03:29 Anyone else gets on the market? It's like, hello! Yeah. You call me a quiet talker? You're a quiet and low talker. Quiet, low talker. Your tone is low. It's a bit of a power move.

Starting point is 00:03:40 It's a tone, low. It's a power move, because people have to really shut up and listen. I want them to lean in. That's mainly the women. Lean in, ladies. Oh, okay. Is that what that means?

Starting point is 00:03:51 Sure. When they say women should lean in, they mean to listen to me, that's true. Yeah. That is what they mean. Or lean in for smooches. Oh. If they want. Is that what feminist members are all about?

Starting point is 00:04:03 If they want. Okay. Yeah, it's about things? If they want. Okay. Yeah, it's about you making your own choice. Yeah. Lean in and make your own choices. Yeah, lean in and give me a smooch if that's what you want to do. Lean in and then lay back if you want to have a rest. That's up to you.

Starting point is 00:04:15 That's so fine. Either is good. Great. You can lean all the way in until you're lying on your front. I love a front lie. Love. Dave's looking. It is a concerns.

Starting point is 00:04:28 Remaining dangerously quiet. Oh my god. Matt. Today, I had a juice at a cafe, sorry to break. And the juice was called Sasqueen. Oh. How good is that? It would have been hard not to. Have that juice.

Starting point is 00:04:43 Yeah. I'd be an idiot if I didn't order that. Is it delicious? Well, where are you embarrassed to order it? God no. I said, one sass queen and a juice please. I said sass queen for the sass queen and she went, okay, because everyone does that. Yeah, you looked down there's nine women waiting for their sass queen. Yeah, the point, the more maybe think of that was that sass twins today.

Starting point is 00:05:04 We were already firing on all cylinders and I feel like it's gonna be a great episode for us. Because when Dave does his reports, Jess and I become, we form like a two person Voltron into the Sass queen. Is that it? The Sass twins. Sass twins.

Starting point is 00:05:19 We could never be royalty. No. Anyway, anyway, we look forward to that. This is a show where we report on a topic usually suggested by listener, which we'll get to in just a second, but first of all fun announcement. Woo! I had a juice! I already did the fun announcement. We're told them about Sasqun. Yeah, that was a great fun. And we want to hear more about that. All right, it had a strawberry pineapple, watermelon, and if someone else in their mint, I think.

Starting point is 00:05:48 That's sassy. In a mason jar. Love that shit. Yes. Just people are literally on the address. It's for this fun announcement. It could be anything. Oh yeah, okay, sorry.

Starting point is 00:05:57 I've found a cure. For people that are sad in Brisbane on August 11, because we're coming to your town. Yeah! We are heading up north for the first time and nearly two years to do a live show at the zoo on August 11th. In Fortune Valley.

Starting point is 00:06:12 That's okay, it's not the actual zoo. It's not the Brisbane Zoo, it is the zoo. Brisbane's finest live music venue according to the website. Did we ask if the zoo was available? Well, there was an administrative error. I thought we were performing in front of a primate enclosure as Matt requested.

Starting point is 00:06:27 Yeah. Sadly, we're in, sadly, we're in Brisbane's best life music video. I didn't ask for an primate enclosure. I asked for a primate non-inclosure. I wanted to get in there, take down the wall, and let man and monkey live as well. Tric and we could borrow a monkey from the zoo for the show. I don't look.

Starting point is 00:06:50 I've become in recent times a primate advocate. And I don't think it's very fun or funny of you to suggest that we should have a monkey come into our show as entertainment. No, no, no, I just meant like for their expertise. Oh, okay, yes. In that case, definitely. Yeah, I just meant like for their expertise. Oh, okay. Yes. In that case, definitely. Yeah, great. Most of them are professors.

Starting point is 00:07:08 The chimps, that is the Yups, the monkeys, idiots. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, yes, so soon summary, and I don't know if I've told you guys this. I want to tell you and listen to the same time. This could be our 200th episode. Could be? It will be. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm going to tell you and listen to the same time. This could be our 200th episode. Could be? It will be.

Starting point is 00:07:25 Oh, I'm starting right here live. I've got to mention that off here. We're doing it, lock it in, two and a quarter. And the way that it's going to work, it's an afternoon show, and we're going to do the 200th episode first, have a little break, and then we're going to come back with a do-go-on interactive quiz.

Starting point is 00:07:38 Oh man, we did this in Leeds one time on our UK tour, and it was so much fun. So, so, so. It was in Leeds, right? Yeah and it was so much fun. So so it was in leads, right? Yeah, it was in the locker room or something like. It was so fun. It was great. Dave came out, nipples showing. Whoa, don't give away my tricks.

Starting point is 00:07:57 That's my opening up. Matt did some push ups. I didn't do anything above my pay grade because I won't. I refuse. But I might this time. Yeah, bring the leg press understage and you will be pushing a car uphill. Easy, no problem.

Starting point is 00:08:10 Life. And yeah, anyway, so August 11th, tickets are not quite on sale but they will be throughout this week sometimes. So keep an eye on our social medias. Which you can find at do go on pod on either Facebook Instagram or the other one. Twitter.

Starting point is 00:08:24 And we're, and now we've got an event page on do go on pod.com where that or the other one. Twitter. Twitter. And now we've got an event page on do go on pod.com where that'll be the first place we'll put it. So keep your eyes peeled, Brisbane, August 11. Really hope to see you there. And the following week, Jess and I will remain in town to do three shows. We announced this yet.

Starting point is 00:08:39 No, we haven't actually. We're exciting. I think it won't be the first time we've ever to understand our show together. Yeah. So we're doing three nights. I can't actually. We're exciting. I think it won't be the first time we've ever done a standoff show together. Yeah. So we're doing three nights. I can't remember what nights they are. The venue is...

Starting point is 00:08:49 Ha! Ha! Heya. Heya Bar. Yeah. And we're doing it. Not too valid. Uh, it just pad for a sec.

Starting point is 00:08:58 And the show's called Razzle Dazzle. I think our shows are the... This is the best professional operation I've ever come across. This is what happens when you organize stuff without me. It's the Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, so the 12, 13th and 15th of August. We're going to be doing some shows. And when tonight you get loose.

Starting point is 00:09:16 Yeah. We're going to go crazy. Let's go see a movie on the Wednesday, do you want that? Yeah. Cute, succin days. Three, three, four times at week and Dave just the once. I'm a one time only.

Starting point is 00:09:28 But it should be a super fun week. Love Brisbane, love it, love it lots. Yeah, it'll be great. So come on down, please. And yeah, you'll be able to find details for that. Also probably will post it on our social media's but also our individual ones. But you can find out at metstillcoma.com slash gigs. Yeah, let's check it on our website too. We'll put on Google on it. Great, thank you can find out at Matsyukami.com slash gigs.

Starting point is 00:09:45 Yeah, let's check it on our website too. We'll put on do-go on. Great. Thank you, Dennis. We'll also be coming to Melbourne Fringe with a secret special guest for more of that later. So, secret. Okay, sorry. Anyone but Dr. Jim.

Starting point is 00:09:59 Okay, let's get into the topic this week. So I've written a report on a topic that you guys don't know what it is. I love when you write reports, Dave. Thank into the topic this week. So I've written a report on a topic that you guys don't know what it is. I love it when you write reports, Dave. Thank you so much. Yeah, Sastowens get ready to sass me for this. Pretty open question. Great. So the question would get us onto topic.

Starting point is 00:10:14 Really, the question is, what is the most Scottish name that you can think of? Oh, um, poor. I already make both of you. McGregor. Yeah. Yes, that's the surname. Okay, Gregor. Connor, that's Irish. All right, surname McGregor. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one.

Starting point is 00:10:25 I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one.

Starting point is 00:10:33 I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one.

Starting point is 00:10:41 I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. I'm not going to be a good one. McGregor. Give us a first letter. G. G-Gerard. GIF. G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G Yes! Well done, you guys got way closer than I ever thought you were. Fantastic. We got this teamwork too. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:06 Good job. I really, I would have said Matt Stewart's most Scottish name, I could think of, but I knew it wasn't about me. How did you know? I just knew. There's nothing stopping us from doing a report on one another. Yes, there is. Except that I'm a bloody, I'm a bloody closed bookmaker, I can't get anything out of

Starting point is 00:11:22 me. You guys know nothing about me. Do you know anything about Greg and my Greg? Yep, he's got a silly name. Really silly name isn't it. Would you trust a man called Gregor McGregor? No. Oh. I'm glad that you would, Matt, because a lot of people in this story do trust him. Right. I feel like maybe they shouldn't. Hey, that's open to interpretation. No, but I really shouldn't. I know your face. Yeah. They shouldn't. Yeah. If I could go back in time and be the one thing I do, it was tell people not to trust into interpretation. No, but I really shouldn't. I know your face. Yeah, they shouldn't. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:45 If I could go back in time and be the one thing I do, it was tell people not to trust Greg out my Greg out. But if anybody here is going to trust someone who's probably untrustworthy, it's going to be Matt. That's true. Surely. You and I are the big skeptics. There was a VFL coach called Donald McDonald.

Starting point is 00:12:01 No. Some sort of idea. What are your parents thinking? What sort of era is this? When was this? 17, late 1780s. Okay. It was a different time.

Starting point is 00:12:12 Right, I'm looking forward to this. Yeah, great. Let's get stuck in. This was suggested by just one person, Jen Jen Rosie Dawson. Oh, she loves a double name. From our New South Wales. Jen Jen.

Starting point is 00:12:23 Jen Jen. Love you work Jen Jen. Thanks Jen Jen. A cracking storyGen. Gen-Gen. Love you work, Gen-Gen. Thanks, Gen-Gen. A cracking story though. I'd never come across myself, but here we go. Gregor, McGregor was born in the Scottish Highlands, which you believe, under 724th, 1786. Christmas Eve.

Starting point is 00:12:38 I feel so bad for people with Christmas Eve or Christmas Daybirthness. Is the double present thing? And you've got to wait a whole year for it? Or is it that no one's celebrating your birthday? No one's celebrating your birthday. Shut up mate, we're all here for Christmas. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:12:48 Yeah, fair enough. Or it's like Merry Christmas everyone. Oh yeah, now happy birthday. Happy birthday Gregor McGregor. Yeah. They didn't, they were so caught up in Christmas spirit. They just forgot to think of a good name for their kid, you know? I think that's actually what's happened.

Starting point is 00:13:03 Jesus make Jesus, I mean, by the way, who cares?'s actually what's happened. Jesus make Jesus. I mean Who cares? No Christmas Mac means is that mean of of Gregor? So this Gregor of Gregor of the Gregor. Is that right? Is his dad Gregor? Gregor, go we say it like bogus. Well, he's dad. He was the son of a sea captain love that Daniel Daniel McGregor and his mother's name was Anne so quite you know Pretty normal. It's still very normal. Yeah. But not much is known about his childhood or much

Starting point is 00:13:30 about his family background. Other than his grandfather was a famous clansman named in the Gaelic, which translates, his name translates to Gregor the beautiful. Oh. Beautiful granddad. I love that. As someone with an ugly granddad.

Starting point is 00:13:45 Yeah. I'm jealous of that beautiful grand puppy. Oh, I love it. I would have turned out so much differently if my grandfather was good-looking. Not handsome. He's good-looking. Beautiful.

Starting point is 00:13:55 He followed in his beautiful forefather's farting footsteps. And yes, I wrote that. forefather's farting footsteps. And then stopped and applauded. Yes, oh, I took a brike. I got an orange. She's my goodness As soon as he could at the age of 16, he joined the British Army

Starting point is 00:14:09 Despite his young age, he quickly rose through the ranks and became a lieutenant or lieutenant He was promoted without purchase, which I didn't know what that means. Aka. He earned the rank rather than he just bought it Oh, shit So back in the day rather than there's another rank that you would have to wait seven years for, you know, typically, but you could just buy it on basically day four. I kind of love that. To you.

Starting point is 00:14:32 Yeah. Yeah. I've been learning to pick and... Oh, absolutely. I have heaps of disposable ink cash, mate. I know. I've got a heaps of it. Just like I've got too much of it.

Starting point is 00:14:44 He just gave some to the police tonight. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I know. I got a heaps of it. Just like I got too much of it. He just gave some to the police tonight. Well done. Oh no, they gave me a little slip and I said I'll pay them at some point. I should say it's nothing too bad. Well, you weren't doing that. I don't want to slip. I'm going to do a report on it in the future after the court case is gone. Yeah, right now we can't talk about it, subjudicity. Just because bookens versus the crown. No, I turned right. I made a right turn. As I can make a wrong turn.

Starting point is 00:15:13 Yeah. You should be at police service, that would be good. Yeah, you could be great. That actually, yeah. And again, I'm off as a stewardess. What, you're not gonna be all awesome, I'm sorry. You always go, bro, didn't you? I became a bro, you're not gonna be all awesome, brodan, sorry.

Starting point is 00:15:25 He always go brodan. But we came, brodan mixed with our good friend, Andy Matthews, doing an Aussie accent too, I believe. Okay, I mean, Andy has an Aussie accent. But when he goes super, oh yeah, you're right actually. Super, super, sorry. Super accent, Toyota, super. So he ends his title.

Starting point is 00:15:41 Yeah, he earns his title. He then married the wealthy Maria Bowwater in 1804 at the age of 18. And they lived for a time in London. Life was good. After the wedding, however, now he's got money. He chose to buy the rank of captain. Yeah. That's the one that would have taken seven years of him to work for it.

Starting point is 00:15:57 But he just bought it. He then fought in a few wars. He's final stand being in Portugal in 1810 during the Napoleonic Wars, where he served in the 57th foot regiment before retiring from the army in 1810. Whereafter he got his money back that he'd bought the rank with, so that's quite, you get your money back. Ah, what I would do is buy my way to the top so I didn't have to go on the battlefield. Yeah. Plus your graded admin. Yes, I do all the administrative stuff and then I'd say

Starting point is 00:16:23 now retire, get the money back. You're a graded sending young men to their deaths. Yes. But I don't want to be one of those deaths. It's kind of like a term deposit. It'd be good if it had some interest while it was in there too. Oh, that would be good. And you'd be like, well, we're giving you money for a general.

Starting point is 00:16:38 Yeah. You can just pay for a major. That's good. Did you get to sell it on sale to someone else? That'd be good. Yeah, that'd be good. It sounds like I'd weird that I don't still have that. A system where any idiot can buy their way

Starting point is 00:16:51 to the top of the army. Feels like that was a really good system. Yeah, it's a great system. And I think it makes a lot of sense. And I think it would ensure that all the best people had their power. Yeah, exactly. That's how you get promoted for your money.

Starting point is 00:17:03 Yeah. Am I right? When I say, finally, we're talking since. When I say I love it, I think I love that that existed. And if that was their system, exactly that, just wealthy people getting the power. I'm like, fine, this is what you deserve. You deserve people to just buy the title of general. I'm the boss now. No, I'm the boss. They're just outbitting each other. That's great. Oh, constantly outbitting. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:29 Like you're general for a day until somebody else wrangles some more cash. 10 grand. I can't afford that. Damn it. Saluting them. Oh, God, hate this. So you left the 57th Regiment 1810.

Starting point is 00:17:39 The next year in 1811, the 57th Foot Regiment were put on the map. And forever nicknamed the diehards after an incident in Portugal. The high ranking Lieutenant Colonel William Inglis was wounded by canister shot. Despite his significant injuries, Inglis refused to retire from the battle

Starting point is 00:17:57 but remained with the other soldiers encouraging his men with the words diehard 57th, diehard! The troops were absolutely smashed by the enemy but held their line against the approaching French before retreating and against all odds the Brits actually won the battle. The diehard became the regiment's nicknames and became a bit of an army legend. And our man Gregor McGregor would go on to use his association with this group of badasses to his advantage, despite not having been there during the incident.

Starting point is 00:18:26 Right. He'd tell people, yeah, everyone in the 57-foot regiment, they'd go, oh my god, the die hearts, you'd be like, yeah, they have to import you. I mean, I guess you can cause die hearts, but I'm just a cause, I was 57 regiment, because we're pretty humble, bad, I guess. But, yeah, I get all the people of God with die hearts, I guess. I guess, if that's your all word, it's like you want to call me. Yeah, you'd be calling me, I'm not the fuck, right? But, um, is that where that comes from all word, it's like you want to call me. Yeah, you'd be calling me motherfucker, right?

Starting point is 00:18:45 But um, is that where that comes from? Yes, it totally is. That's the kind of guy we're dealing with here. Cool. Loves to talk himself up a little bit. I love that. But in 1810, now 23, he returned home to Scotland and lived for a time in Edinburgh,

Starting point is 00:19:02 attending the title of Colonel, before moving back to London and giving himself the title of Sir Gregor McGregor. Also, he'd retired by 23. Yeah. Fuck it. That's the dream. That's the dream.

Starting point is 00:19:13 Rather than retired, he just told everyone I'm a sir, even though he wasn't a sir. I hope I can retire by the time I'm 23. That's even smarter than buying a title, just having a title. I mean, yeah, I got it now. That's a way cheaper. What do you mean, good luck.

Starting point is 00:19:26 Good luck with retiring 23. Thank you. Yeah. So I cannot say something's on Ciera in the show for once. No, I didn't sound very sincere. But now that I've squeezed you a little harder, and you've explained yourself on stint. Quiz hard, boys.

Starting point is 00:19:41 Quiz hard. Quiz hard. And from now on, the quiz heart. It's a sexual trivia team. So he's calling himself a so he failed however to fit in with the upper classes. His wife, the wealthy one died in 1811 because her family was the cash cow.

Starting point is 00:19:58 He soon found himself without a proper income. How did he die? How did she die? She was young. She was young. She was young. People died young back then. Oh, yeah, good point. Mr. Realness.

Starting point is 00:20:08 Mystery because I don't know what it was. A war was all he ever knew, so we went back to war. But he'd only just left the British army. He couldn't really go back that soon. So we decided to fight for a private army. He'd heard of the numerous revolts by the people in South America against their Spanish rulers.

Starting point is 00:20:24 So, sold up his Scottish estate and sailed for the continent in 1812, landing in Venezuela. A couple of months after his arrival, he quickly married Donna, Josephia, Antonia, and Aristogeta Ilevera. Aristogeta. Yes. It's a very fun name to say. She was the daughter of a very prominent family and a cousin of the soon-to-be revolutionary hero Simon Bolivar, the man who led revolutions against Venezuela, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Panama and Bolivia, which is named after him. So he's married well again. God, he does that well. He's put a very well. He's put a very well.

Starting point is 00:21:09 Again, another thing I'd like to do. Just marry well. Just marry the cousin of like the, who a man who's about to become the most famous local of this century, of that century, but... Yeah, because you don't want to marry the most famous person because then it's like, ugh, the hullabaloo. No, but in a few years' time, this person will be. be so you're like oh, I'm not a bandwagoner I'm right is cousin easy. All right now you want to marry Donald Trump's cousin

Starting point is 00:21:34 Yeah, they want to do that five years ago five years ago when you're 23 No Yeah, I Guess you've done it. Why you had the chance you stuffed it? I know I could have retired then too. Were you hanging out with Donald Cuss? Of course! Cuss of Donald!

Starting point is 00:21:53 Yeah. Yeah, that was in all the good circles. Then I came back here and decided to do a podcast. That was a good fucking decision, wasn't it? Yes. Anyway, I did go hi. Because of McGregor's background as a soldier in the British Army, and he's associated with the famous Die Hearts,

Starting point is 00:22:09 which he was very happy to tell everyone that he was part of. Die! He was given the rank of Colonel immediately, and then Brigadier General. Brigadier. Brigadier. And given command of a battalion, so they were just like, cool, you're in the Army.

Starting point is 00:22:22 You know what you're doing? Here you go. But the revolution wasn't going so well at this point, and McGregor had to retreat to an island with the famous Simon Bolivar. But growing bored, he dropped his wife off safely in Jamaica and then went in search of more action and wound up in what is today Colombia. He was part of the defense of the city of Cartagena, or Cartagena, and when he returned to Jamaica, he was heralded as a hero.

Starting point is 00:22:46 Apparently, he may have exaggerated his role in the city's defense, possibly claiming that it was all him when it wasn't all him. But people welcomed him with open arms. Oh, that's nice. When he said I'm a hero, they said yes. You're a hero. Correct.

Starting point is 00:23:00 I like trusting people, because they're easy to manipulate. Oh, so maybe you would trust this guy then, huh? No. I just like that. I like trusting people. Because they're easy to manipulate. So maybe you would trust this guy then. No. It's pretty great. So fun. I just like trust. I like, oh no. I like people who trust. I like the trusting people. I don't like to trust people. Oh, and Yuck. Yeah, gross. No feelings.

Starting point is 00:23:16 Yucky. In another battle, his reputation and legend grew even further when he led an army of 1200, mostly local native archers on a daring escape through the Venezuelan jungle. They were hotly pursued by two Spanish armies through some of the toughest terrain on earth. One day, McGregor deployed his 1200 archers behind a marsh and a stream and waited for their enemy. The Spaniards cavalry got bogged down the marsh and after three hours of picking them off with arrows, McGregor's men charged

Starting point is 00:23:42 on the Spaniards and won the battle. Amazing. This man. So they were heavily outgarned. They continued on their journey and finally met it to the destination of the Venice Wayland City of Barcelona after 34 days of walking through jungle. 34 days. Yeah. Like half a day's enough, you know? Have a look around, stop for a picnic lunch. I think they would have seen everything they needed to see. 34 days. You've had a stage. Come on, you haven't bathed in that time.

Starting point is 00:24:12 You've been on holiday in the last week, you kinda like, I wish I was home now. It's like going on a Vegas for more than three days. Oh, that's the fourth day, what are you doing? Yeah, I was there for five days. What were you doing the fourth or fifth days? I was hanging out for leaving. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:24 Feeling horrible about everything. Similar at Dr. Obrifest, they're five days well. Why? How long does Dr. Obrifest go for? A few weeks. Ah. Well. Or a few weeks.

Starting point is 00:24:36 But yeah, five days of it's too much. But then when you get home you go, which I was back there. Yeah, one. Of course. My stomach recovered. That's it. Even in like the fourth day in Koso Mili, I was irritable and cranky and all on edge just because of all the sugar and alcohol.

Starting point is 00:24:51 I was like, I need to get it out. Oh, my strategy was just to keep drinking paenicaladas no matter what. No matter what my body was telling me. If body was like, please have some water. No, paenicaladas. What do you say? I need more milky pineappley alcohol. Absolutely, get it in me. Get it in me. And you did, and we're proud of you for that. Thank you so much. That's so many.

Starting point is 00:25:12 You really did. It's something that your body does not want to. I don't think I saw him without a panicolata in his hand the whole time, did you? Yeah, it was really committing to a bit. Oh, yeah. I wanted to his room one night to watch him sleep as I routinely do.

Starting point is 00:25:29 And he was holding a peanut collada. Straw in my mouth. Really? How did you not suffocate? Well, the straw. I had two straws. One in my mouth and one out, like a snorkel. That makes sense.

Starting point is 00:25:43 That does make sense. Circular breathing. That makes sense. That does make sense. It's God you. Circular breathing. So he's walked through the jungle for 34 days, survived against all odds. Simon Bollava, the leader of the revolution, congratulated him. He said, quote, in a letter to him, that a treat which you had the honor to conduct is, in my opinion, superior to the conquest of an empire. Please accept my congratulations

Starting point is 00:26:05 for the prodigious services you have rendered my country. And quote, he was made divisional general for this effort, having only just ticked over to 30 years old. So he's done quite a lot. Oh man. In short, the retreat made him a bit of a celebrity around South America. So he's really living it up at this stage.

Starting point is 00:26:22 Go ahead. But he's got a Scottish accent. Can anyone understand him? I don't think they can. That's part of the intrigue. He tells all these stories for like four hours to or even people like, didn't understand a word, but wow, he meant it. God, it was beautiful. A lot of passion. A lot of passion. So many gestures and facial expressions. Just kept like doing like a bow and arrow signal. I was like, cool, guess. The good old. Yes, McGregor. Yes, McGregor.

Starting point is 00:26:49 In 1820, McGregor and some associates landed in Nicaragua in a place now known as the Mosquito Coast. It sounds like a nightmare. I've written here a lovely name for what is by all accounts. I lovely, lovely plays. Ah, okay. It is not. It was a swamp and mosquito-ridden land inhabited by the mosquito people, descendants of ship-racked

Starting point is 00:27:15 African slaves and indigenous people that had come together. The land was supposedly ruled by King George, Frederick, or Gustus. It had earlier technically come under the British Empire, but proved too tough to actually colonize. So over time, it just been abandoned. The mosquito people. Yeah, I love that. That's a really. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha shit house. The empire that is claiming every bit of land they can get during this era is like not for us. No thanks. You know what? Just leave it. Don't worry about it.

Starting point is 00:27:50 But on the 29th of April, 1820, local king George Frederick or Guster signed a document grounding Greg and McGregor and his heirs a large piece of the mosquito territory, which was equal to 12,500 square miles or 32,000 square kilometers. So so big, in exchange for rum and jewelry. You got all that land. For context, that is an area that is larger than all of Wales. Right. In exchange for rum and jewelry.

Starting point is 00:28:15 Again, putting into context, how shit this land is. No, I want to. Honestly, he's just traded it for a gold watch and one pinnacle. That's a good deal. That's a good deal, King. Dave, would you give up one of your Pina coladas for that much land? No, but I would give up whales for a Pina colada. Good luck to you guys. Good luck.

Starting point is 00:28:39 I'm sorry, but sorry. The Pina colada was calling. That makes sense. The Muffa needs a peanut collard. Maybe a tried one and develops an addiction like, I, do you understand? Yeah, I was gone hard on the my ties. You love those.

Starting point is 00:28:53 Yeah, that's my tie. That's good shit. What's a my tie? Is that mint? I'm not even sure. It was orange. Orange, okay. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:00 I'm thinking of someone else. What is the mint one? The heat herb. Had a couple of sex on the beach as well. And a drink. Oh wow, really. Sand and your underpants. Oh, we had a good time.

Starting point is 00:29:15 We did have a bloody good time. So now we technically owned this land. He hurried home to the UK to find potential investors to develop it. Geez. That is big get rich quick scheme On the way home he came up with the title for the land and himself The new paradise would be called poyer and he would be known as the prince of poyer. Oh, I like that. How's poyer spell? P-O-Y-A-I-S

Starting point is 00:29:40 Love it poyer comes from a name of the indigenous people of the area and he called himself the Kaseik, which is a Spanish-American word for chief equivalent to Prince. Right. He's got a name, he's like, I'm just a prince. I'm just a prince. They won't get it. They won't, if I'm like, I'm the Kaseik of Poie, one with the Hell's Poie, two with the fucks of Kaseik.

Starting point is 00:29:58 Yeah. Mate, you've gone loopy. So he's like, I'll pander to these idiots. Prince of Poirot. Poirot. He claimed that the mosquito king had given him the title, but in reality, the title was very much self-styled. He'd just been given the land. The king never mentioned that you could be a prince. He's returned home. He found these stories of jungle warfare up until this point where

Starting point is 00:30:23 largely unknown back home. So he's a massive deal in South America, but back home, no one's heard of him. Oh, we can't have this. I reckon I know what he might do. What do you reckon? Tell everyone. Yeah, he's a fantastic self-promoter.

Starting point is 00:30:37 He quickly became known, his stories, and rumors began to spread that he was somehow actually related to the indigenous mosquito people. Okay. Despite the fact that he looks somehow actually related to the indigenous mosquito people. Okay. Despite the fact that he looks and sounds Scottish. Incredibly Scottish. His name is Gregor McGregor. Oh, but now he's the Kazikov poya.

Starting point is 00:30:53 This rumor was further enhanced when he's Venezuelan wife Josephia now noticed the princess of poya arrived with their newly born son. People were like, well, you must be royalty. You must be royalty. What's that based on this royal family? A woman and a baby. Yeah, okay. Yeah, no, she looks then as a wailin your child looks half an as well And you must be Related to the mosquito king it makes sense This couple with his association with the diehards that I mentioned before meant he was welcome with open arms and invited to speak of his adventures all across England and Scotland.

Starting point is 00:31:25 That must have been a bit of a speaking tour. I love speaking tour. And on this tour, he spoke of Poieas as if it was a new country. And for context, during this time in England, South America was obviously a very, very long way away. I was literally basically a different planet. And seen as a place where countries were redrawn and governments were founded and overthrown every day. Lots of revolutions happening. So it wasn't that inconceivable that this Scott was actually the leader of a new country. Sure. Now you question a lot more, I guess.

Starting point is 00:31:55 I question everything now. It's a big part of my personality. Very skeptical. Would you say that Matt? Because of this podcast. What do I say? I don't know. Would I say it like that? I don't know. Do I believe you? He described this new country as a paradise and that's how he sold it. Did he use that cold place song as he's the scientist? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:18 What's your favourite cold place song? Don't know. What's your favourite cold place? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? No, I just thought I'd just... Thank you, Shane Warren. What's your phone call, why is it? What is it, idiot? We need to give any context to that.

Starting point is 00:32:32 No, Shane Warren. Yeah, look it up. Shane Warren. One of the greatest. Cricketers of all time. He had a talk show in Australia for about six weeks. And one of the, maybe the first episode he interviewed Chris Martin from Coldplay. And there's a Tony Martin on his radio show,

Starting point is 00:32:46 he played this clip so many times. I'll get this, but he asked, Shane won't ask Chris Martin. What's your favorite Coldplay song? Miles Asantis. He jumped in before. Shock on that one. Is there something you're gonna read about how he was like,

Starting point is 00:33:01 he just thought of it all the time. Everything about it was so funny. He's also actually very close friends with Coldplay because I once went to see them and they were like, please welcome special guest, Shane Wong. Yeah, he played the bass. He played our Monica solo. I'm not even kidding.

Starting point is 00:33:15 That's real weird. It was so. Oh, some older acoustic number I can't remember it now. What's so has a harmonic in it. And what song has a solo easy enough as Shane Wongandermaster? It was one no. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:27 The mosquito coast. I'm going to do a Shane Wander episode one day. Yeah. He's got some stories. He does. His kids went to school. My mum works at it. So she'd seen all the time.

Starting point is 00:33:41 Liz Hurley came in one time. What? My mate Liz Hurley. Liz Hurley from Austin Powers time. What? Mum met Liz Hurley. Liz Hurley from Austin Powers. Insane. Really? Yes.

Starting point is 00:33:50 Your mum. My mum. She's real. Don't look into it. Met Ivana, a Humphalot or whatever it was. No. Dave, do you go on? Vanessa.

Starting point is 00:34:03 A Vanessa Humphalot? What's that name? Vanessa? Vanessa Rammerosi. Is that right? Is that right? I'm a Rossi. I'm a Rossi. Please. He's both looking it up now. Vanessa Kensington of the same.

Starting point is 00:34:18 Oh, that is amazing. She did have a song. There was a... I've had a Humpholot though. There was. Love that that is. A parody of a film that also has a name, Pussy Gullot. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:30 What's left to parody? That's a terrible name. And she was a pilot. Love it. Yeah, Pussy Gullot was cool. It was really cool. And she was, she was like, well, she wasn't into him. No, she like, tried to kill him.

Starting point is 00:34:46 Like in a terrible way, of course. But then, you know. Anyway, if you want to hear about both, go back to our bold episode. Yes, sorry about that. I have an episode back. This week we're talking about the second sexiest Scottish man, not Sean Connery, but Gregor McGregor. So he's selling this country like it's a paradise.

Starting point is 00:35:04 He also claimed that he'd established the infrastructure of the new country already. But his new nation needed settlers and investment and he wanted to give residents of London, Glasgow and Edinburgh a first chance to benefit from the opportunity. So he's like, I'm doing you a favor. It's a real, uh, infomercial style set, self-person.

Starting point is 00:35:22 McGregor said that he'd come to London to attend King George IV's coronation on the Poyer's behalf, and whilst he was there he wanted to seek investment and immigrants for Poyer. So he was not invited by the way to. Which was George the Fourth? How far back are we now? Is this early 1800s?

Starting point is 00:35:42 Lizzie's great grandad or something? I'm not even. No. Granddad? No way. Okay. Well, no way. Great, great, granddad. Maybe great, great, great. All right, doesn't matter. It doesn't, but we appreciate your contribution. Thank you. People need to know that you're still here. I'm not very well. Oh no, but you're doing great. Thank you. Hey, Fantastic Self-Remotor. I'm going to say that again just because he's so good at it.

Starting point is 00:36:11 He published interviews in national papers outlining the many benefits that would come from investments or settlers in Poye. Using every media minister's disposal, he even had Poye-related ballads composed and sung on the streets of London, Edinburgh and Glasgow. Oh, it's smart. Yeah, he's like creating his own hype. Oye, oye, it's great. Yeah, he forepoiled. He also appealed to the Scottish Highlanders' hardiness and adventurous spirit.

Starting point is 00:36:39 The BBC writes quote, he highlighted the bravery and fortitude that such a gesture would demonstrate. You wouldn't just be smart, you'd be a real man. Oh. And I read that and I was like, I have to settle there. I am a man. Yeah, you are a man. You got a bit of a bid now. Yeah, yeah, do have to qualify it with a bit of a bid.

Starting point is 00:36:57 Oh, a bid. It's coming in, but three weeks in, people. It's not a match to your bid. Committing to a bid, committing to a bid. Matt does that in a couple of days. No you're you're well in your way there mate. It's a few more months. You'll have a real bush. You're my beard. I you're my beard idol You are my beard idol Be it idol. What am I your idol of? Good good. I fuck you. You have to think about it too much now

Starting point is 00:37:20 Good to hear. Nah, fuck you. You had to think about it too much. Nah. Nah. Oh, sorry. Lower leg strength. If I could push a car up a hill. My leg.

Starting point is 00:37:29 Yeah, my ankles are really short. Yeah, lower body. That's the secret as the ankle I hear. Yeah, yeah. My ankles are fucking tough. Push a truck up a hill of an ankle. Angles are still. That's what they call you. You also created an elaborate backstory for this new country. He drew up commercial and banking rules and processes,

Starting point is 00:37:50 designed distinctive uniforms for each regiment of the Poieasian army, as well as a flag and a coat of arms. Poieasian sounds funny, right? Isn't it? Poieasia. That never go. Poieasia. You I think you got it right. Poie à Eusia. You also describe Poie as a utopian paradise with a perpetual summer. Oh. The earth was fertile, it could grow three crops in a year.

Starting point is 00:38:15 The rivers were clean and drinkable and full of gold and ready to make the inhabitants wealthy beyond their wild journey. You're just completely bullshit-ing, isn't it? Yes. Sorry. Would he lie? Yes. So the good people have Scotland and England. Yes, he gives himself new titles every week.

Starting point is 00:38:30 He said plantations of sugar, coffee and cotton had already been planted, fruit hung from every tree. Fish and game were so plentiful that a man could hunt or fish for a single day and bring back enough to feed his family for the next week. He claimed the natives were just so cooperative that would intensely probe British. Oh my God. It was ready to go. When does that ever happen?

Starting point is 00:38:51 No. There was even a royal palace, paladin building, what? And an opera house in Cathedral that he'd already built. He just needed people. Is he just kind of banking on the fact that once they get there,

Starting point is 00:39:03 it's too far to go back. So they're stuck there. Like, I don't know how far ahead he's thinking this stage. Yeah, he just starts talking and then he's just enjoying the conversation. He's enjoying the attention. He's enjoying the words kind of you out of his mouth. And he's enjoying that people can understand him again. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:18 He's loving it. Thousands of books and pamphlets were printed to promote the utopia and people were sold. The ideal of a tropical paradise is very appealing to Brits in a cold climate, especially after many years of war. People just wanted to get away. We only need a break. You know? And after four days you've had enough.

Starting point is 00:39:39 I'm it enough. Give me back to the cold. And now you hear how you feel? I'm so called. Oh, it's awful. Need a break. Cycle continues. McGregor began selling shares in his new country

Starting point is 00:39:54 and business was so good that offices were opened in London and Edinburgh. Land in Poie was sold over the counter at four shillings in Acre and by October 1822. He had raised a loan of over £200,000. Equivalent now to well over half a billion pounds. Holy shit! That's how much money people put up.

Starting point is 00:40:13 So that's people putting in money and banks being like, yeah, well then you money to build this thing. So that means he could build it now, maybe. Well, yes. And so they're sorry, they're buying land. Yeah. So people are saying, like, we'll move there. Yeah, and he's like,'re sorry they're buying land. Yeah. So people are saying like we'll move there. Yeah, and he's like, great, four acres, no four shillings, no worries. And people like,

Starting point is 00:40:29 great, we've got land now. Because he's got thousands and thousands of acres. That's insane. Many people. I wonder if they're like, if they get to choose where their land is. Like, I want beachfront. How much for beachfront? There'd be two shillings in there for that. I think a story movie once with Nicole Kim and Tom Cruise, I think. And they had to, there was a race and they had, everyone was lined up with horses and stuff and whoever got to bits of land first got to keep it. Maybe it'd be like that. Maybe.

Starting point is 00:41:01 I remember in the opening scene of them that race starting, there was everyone's over horses and one guy's on a penny far thing on this like rough hilly terrain. He didn't make it very far. I'm very good comedy. Tom Cruise has done it again. This is a comedy film. I should have been right that bit. I don't think so.

Starting point is 00:41:18 I think it was a critically pan film. It was called like Far On A Way or something like that. I'm in a way. And I bet they use a lot. Far on a way is worst film yet. Yeah. Yeah. I put himself up for that.

Starting point is 00:41:30 The best part of a critics job is turning the title into negative. A negative comment about the piece of art that people have actually put effort into. Critics aren't anything. You're fucking dogs. Anyway, it gives a review on our tunes. Thanks a lot. So he's raised all this money and many people invested their life savings in the idea. For shillings. It's a real comedy.

Starting point is 00:41:53 Not to judge, but I mean, get some more shillings. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Get four more shillings. Get some more. But if people did that, they'd buy four more acres. Yeah, that's, this is amazing. He also published a 350 page guidebook to Poirot.

Starting point is 00:42:09 Too many pages. That's like he's got a full lonely planet on it. I'm bored already. It claims to be an ideal place to settle, very pro-British, and amazingly, and they emphasize this, free of tropical diseases. If you have to, you have to say that. He's written. That's in question written a 350 page fiction. He's written

Starting point is 00:42:28 a sci-fi novel. Yeah, especially written. Yeah. It doesn't complete the future. Should we spend some of that time building the cathedral and stuff? Yeah, and the opera house he promised and maybe getting on side with the natives who apparently so pro-British and also planting gold in the river. Oh yeah which is drinkable and full of gold. Love it. What a combo. Love that. I just don't wait. So I think I wasn't paying heaps of attention. So he's not actually a prince at all. No he gave himself that title. No no he just bought a bit of land in exchange for rum. No, he gave himself that title. No, no, he just bought a bit of land in exchange for rum And said I'm the prince of this land. Oh, and the land is

Starting point is 00:43:12 Like horse shit, okay. It's mostly horse shit Oh my god on the surface and you dig down a little bit more horse shit. Oh shit. Just older horse shit. Yeah, it's gone a bit white Oh, no, that's not good at all. Okay. Well well this seems like he's been quite dishonest then. And Matt's back, right, he's caught up. Basically that was the recap for you and anyone else who's owned it. I thought the main thing he had done was just have the infrastructure, but he doesn't have anything. No, he's got nothing. Oh, he's got the land. Right.

Starting point is 00:43:38 He's a land. Well, the piece of paper that says he's got the land. Yeah, and he's calling it a new country. Yeah, and then he's the prince of that new country. And then every one of you has a size of Wales. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah, he's got a a new country. Yeah. And that is the prince of that new country. And that everyone's new. Because it is the size of Wales. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah. He's got a lot of land.

Starting point is 00:43:48 But it's shit land. Shit land with nothing on it. Nothing on it. But he's saying. And horseshit. You can farm once a week. You can hunt once a week, one day work week, and feed your family for the whole week.

Starting point is 00:43:58 Okay. That sounds pretty good. I mean, how much for she lives? Oh, go up there. I mean, I'll wallet. Matt, no. Give me your wallet. Okay. Well, a lot of people, give me your wallets. OK.

Starting point is 00:44:05 Well, a lot of people are like Matt here, invested, and people were eager to travel to the new paradise that they'd board into. On the 10th of September, 1822, the first party of 50 settlers sailed from Leith on a ship called the Honduras packet. They were followed a few months later in January by approximately 200 more passengers. Several hundred more had signed up for future ships,

Starting point is 00:44:25 but these were the first to sail. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm breaking you would so lucky to be the first thing to get there before the word gets back. Yeah. Doctors, tradesmen, and a prominent London mayor or mayor had all signed up.

Starting point is 00:44:42 Mayor. Mayor. Mayor. John Mayer was on board. A cobbler from Edinburgh accepted the post had all signed up. Maya. Maya. Maya. John Mayer was on board. A cobbler from Edinburgh accepted the post of official shoe maker to the Princess of Poie. Essential, if you're having 50 people come along, you need the official cobbler to be attending.

Starting point is 00:44:57 What are you gonna make shoes out of? They're probably said, I've got a shoe factory ready to go. Who? It's got everything, you know. Everything. Bono Feast forgotten by the stage, there's nothing there. I've got a two factory ready to go. It's got everything you need. I want her face forgotten by the stage, there's nothing there. He's like, you get to go, what the hell's happened?

Starting point is 00:45:10 What's happening? What? Oh, I'm a shocked, is anything? It's all wrong. The first 50 people was supposed to get a Ferrari. Where are they? I'm more shocked. Oh no, the king's stolen them all.

Starting point is 00:45:22 Oh, it's all the Ferrari's adding the infrastructure. He burned down the cathedral. Up before sailing, many changed their pound stealing into Poye dollars, printed by McGregor himself. Yeah. He's hand drawn them. He printed 70,000 notes of it, and then people would trade it.

Starting point is 00:45:44 Basically, it does remind me of that scene in the Simpsons where they go to itchy and scratchy land and change all their money for itchy and scratchy dollars. And then they go into the park and they're signs everywhere saying, itchy and scratchy dollars is not acceptable here. Yeah. They've changed.

Starting point is 00:45:59 But, well, in his defense, pounds are also useless in a place that has zero shops. Yeah. That's true. Yeah, good point. You're changing paper for paper, sister. Yeah. You're buying some decorative paper, basically. Yeah.

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Starting point is 00:48:05 They're just being sent there with nothing and no... They're being sent on a ship with a flag that he drew using money that he also drew and he's wished them luck. Oh my god! He's not even going! He's like, I'll see you guys there later. I've got to do a bit more business here. Yeah, I'll be on...

Starting point is 00:48:22 I'll be... I'm right behind you. I'll be on ship 10 or something. Yeah I'm right. I'll be there a few months but don't worry you'll all get a complimentary beverage on arrival. Speak to reception if you have any other questions. Um no worries here's a token for 20% of the minibar.

Starting point is 00:48:37 There's nothing there. There's nothing there. He's sending these people to their death. Well after months at sea they they finally made it to their destination and all prepared to disembark to their new home, all now wearing their best outfits. Of course, because I think. Oh, this is my first, I'm gonna be meeting,

Starting point is 00:48:55 because there are people that live there. He actually claimed to some, at one stage there's 20,000 people that already live there, but it's so big we need way more. So they're expecting to walk into this new town. Like a fully built town, and they're like, you know what, my first day there had a good sleep on the ship. I'm gonna hit up the opera.

Starting point is 00:49:09 Sunday best. So everyone's wearing. But when they landed, they didn't exactly find the paradise that had been promised to them. Instead, all they saw was Nicaragua and Swamp surrounded by inhospitable dense jungle and a few native people who weren't that happy to see them. Wouldn't it be wild if they got there and there was like a cathedral? That would be so good. And then he gets worried that it's great and he's like, Oh, wow, I'm a god.

Starting point is 00:49:35 It was also blisteringly hot. Oh, really, really hot. Apparently at first they weren't allowed thinking they just landed at the wrong spot. And then some ventured inland to try and find the established city. But of course it just wasn't there. In short, it was all barren wasteland. Some began to suspect that they'd been duped, but most didn't want to admit that and tried to blame someone else.

Starting point is 00:49:59 It's been some sort of mistake. You know, someone screwed us over. No one's blaming Greg and McGregor a lot of people are like, he would never do this to us. He's talked about it so much. He's been lied to. The ship pilot. What do you call them? Captain. Captain. The ship pilot. Captain. Well a few weeks after. Hey, you know, the captain of the ship he just paid for that title. Sea pilot. He didn't know. He didn't know anything. I never been on ship in my life. Water pilot. Water pilot. Sea pilot. I don't know. Yeah, he didn't know anything. I've never been on ship in my life. Water pilot water pilot. Sea pilot. I don't know what I like better there

Starting point is 00:50:30 Sea pilot sounds cool. Sea pilot. It's fun ocean tram driver. Yeah, stinging In the water Yeah, bells underwater sound like Someone talking underwater. Yeah. No, of course. A cartoon. A phone ringing underwater. A phone ringing underwater.

Starting point is 00:50:49 Yeah. Well, speaking of the captain, a few weeks after their arrival, the captain of the Honduras packet abruptly and you know, literally sailed away amid a fierce storm. The immigrants found themselves alone, apart from some natives. And when they spoke to the local king, he had no idea who they were. They were like, Gregor McGregor. The principal. The principal.

Starting point is 00:51:10 The principal, yeah. So he doesn't even remember the sound of the land in Gregor. He was like, I don't know how he's talking about. They're like, oh, okay. Then the... So hang on, that was the king who'd given Gregor McGregor the land.

Starting point is 00:51:19 Yeah, I spoke to him. And he doesn't, he's got no recollection of it. Well, I think you know, he remembers he gave the guy a land, but they're like, the prince, the city. Ah. He's like, what the hell are you doing here? What do you do about this people who have been drinking

Starting point is 00:51:28 sea water? Yeah, what's wrong with you? Then, so that's the first, then the second ship arrived a few weeks later again and dropped more settlers off, but also quickly left, so they were now all stranded. They had supplies and could survive for a time, but then the rainy season hit

Starting point is 00:51:42 and it became a hell on earth. Ah. Tropical disease, which they were told didn't exist, also quickly took hold, and the camp were decimated by malaria and yellow fever. Those are not fun ones to have. No. A ship from Honduras discovered the settlers a month later and found that seven men and three children had already died and most of the town in Alberta commas were sick.

Starting point is 00:52:03 Survivors were rescued in realays because the ship couldn't take them all and brought to the English colony adverticum was sick. Survivors were rescued in real days because the ship couldn't take them all and brought to the English colony in Belize to recover. Even so, two thirds of the original 250 people died. Oh my God. At least 180 people never made it home. Geez. Geez.

Starting point is 00:52:20 Holy crap, I knew that just insane. He's like, he's a serial killer, yeah. And if it could get worse, the worst part of it, near other ships were already on their way. No! The authorities on Honduras had to intercept and warn these other ships that the whole thing was a hoax before they too were taken ashore and left to die.

Starting point is 00:52:40 In all, they had to stop and send back seven more ships, almost certainly saving hundreds of lives in doing so. Wow. So yeah, they just couldn't let them land. Because basically most of the captains would drop them off and then go back. Yeah. And they'd look around and go, oh, shit.

Starting point is 00:52:53 Yeah, wait. They didn't have flares back then. Oh my god. The pants, all the gun thing. So yeah, get off you go. Must have dropped us off in the wrong spot. Yeah. Without the flares, the pants all the time.

Starting point is 00:53:08 I got underlay. It wasn't bad. My brain's working out 15 seconds behind. As opposed to the usual six. Six and a half. Yeah. He's going down from seven, though. We've got eight and a half delay to that.

Starting point is 00:53:21 OK. Yeah. He's doing well. 50 of the original surviving settlers eventually returned to London in October 1823. 50, sorry? 50. 50. And within a day, the newspapers were full of the story of Poieh, exposing the hoax to

Starting point is 00:53:34 the public, because again, it's on the other side of the world, so until this point, it's been under wraps. Where the fuck is Gregor? Meanwhile, the Prince Architect, Prince Gregor McGregor, had quietly disappeared. Fuck off! But... What he did... He...

Starting point is 00:53:50 I forgot to take the knife. I'm in a match to your level. That's very funny. He did fuck off. He didn't lay low for long, however, he soon appeared in France where he started the scheme again. What? Now selling pollae to wealthy Perusians. Is the monorail garfings.

Starting point is 00:54:15 Yes, it totally is. Totally. No, it's even more than before. North-Avorbro, where have I heard of that before? In 1825, he raised another 300,000-pound loan. It's just even more than before, and sold shares in the colony to French people. People, again, prepared to travel to the country, but the government became suspicious when 30 of its citizens asked for passports to travel to a place that never heard of. McGregor's secretary was arrested, and then he went into hiding. McGregor was eventually arrested as well and after a lengthy trial was acquitted and set free.

Starting point is 00:54:50 Why? McGregor just this was done. Yeah. So we returned home to England where a lot of people were still very, very pissed off with him. I think what happened was he bought the title of Judge. Yeah. So he ended up being in charge of that case.

Starting point is 00:55:06 The scousers miss. We're quitting him. Yeah, in fact, give him money. Yeah. How much money you got? Give it to him. So we went back to England. People were very pissed off with him

Starting point is 00:55:15 and he was almost immediately arrested there. Somehow, possibly due to corruption, a week later, he was again set free. Fuck, so I haven't killed like 180 people and like fleeced so many people with their life savings. But that's the thing, he's got so much money, so he can just bribe people. Yeah, absolutely.

Starting point is 00:55:33 And he also had these powerful friends. He continued to try and swindle people with the idea of populating poya, but the idea never quite took off again. In fact, he now had to compete with other swindlers who were also selling the idea of poya. What What? Copycat. So if people copycat it, he'd be like, no, no, they're making it up. Minds real. Here's a slightly more real because he does own the land. He's like, at least I've been there. Yeah. What does he think? Does he think it's a good idea or is he completely full of shit and just

Starting point is 00:56:02 after the money? I feel like he could be a tiny bit delusional. Well, it's actually been speculated over the years that McGregor himself may have started to believe the bullshit he was peddling. Yeah. Or at least hoped he was able to forge a paradise with a settler that brought into it. But if that was the case, would you just keep doing it over and over and over? I could understand maybe the first one when he get in too deep. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:22 But then he just went to France, after nearly 200 people died. Yeah, when he left, he should have paid for a ship and a big crew to come with him, started building it if he wanted to. Yeah. If he was actually wanting to build it. I think at the point where you find out that so many people had died, maybe you go,

Starting point is 00:56:39 oh, that might have been a bad idea. That's probably where I'd started to think. But is anyone to... Instead of France did it again, then came home and kept trying to do it on a bad idea. That's probably where I'd started to keep. But is anyone to... I said to France, did it again, then came home and kept trying to do it on a lower scale. Yeah. Oh, no, the issue isn't that I sent them to an abandoned wasteland, it's that they weren't enough people. So if I just get some more people, it'll work itself out.

Starting point is 00:56:57 Yeah, it's a numbers game. Yeah, it is. As all pyramid schemes are. Yeah. By 1839, realizing that the heyday of his schemes were over, he reached out to his old pal Carlos Sublet, who had become a high ranking official in Venezuela and applied for citizenship.

Starting point is 00:57:14 So I mate from his army days. Right. He traveled to Venezuela where he was reinstated in the rank of general of division and awarded a pension for his service in the war of independence. Fuck, sake. He lived there until 1859 where his service in the War of Independence. Fuck, sake. He lived there until 1859 where he died at the age of 59 having never faced justice for

Starting point is 00:57:31 his crimes. Quite happy he died in 59 at the age of 59. I love that. Those maths don't quite work out. Damn it. 1786, I've just realized that. So when he said it doesn't quite work out it. It doesn't work out a lot.

Starting point is 00:57:43 He's on a 14 year delay. Well he died in 1859, around the age of 73. So he had a... Oh, damn love. And he never faced justice for his crimes. He just got away with it all despite the meddling kids. That's fucked. And that is the story of the most Scottish man in history, Greg and McGregor. Wait, hang on. Most Scottish name man. No. You think that of the most Scottish man in history, Greg and McGregor. Wait, hang on, most Scottish night man.

Starting point is 00:58:05 No. You think that's the most Scottish trait is killing a lot of people in a weird scheme? No, I think the most Scottish trait is holding a grudge and never getting over it. I'll never get over you saying it. Dave, that was great. Well, crazy. That's just a crazy story. That's insane.

Starting point is 00:58:22 They just sent ship loads of people there. I guess it's pre-pictures, but even now I wouldn't trust pictures because I'd be like, well they're photoshopped. Pictures existed. Oh yeah. Do they? Pictures.

Starting point is 00:58:37 Did people have eyes? I mean draw it short, yeah. But you can make that up with your imagination. Yeah. You can draw anything. Name something. Greg and McGregor. I can make that up with your imagination. Yeah. You can draw anything. I hope you can. Name something. Uh, Greg and McGregor. I can draw that easy.

Starting point is 00:58:49 Huh? Come on. Have a go. Have a go. I remember they got to stick figures, but in my eye. Oh, Greg and McGregor is a funny looking fella. My artistic interpretation. That is Greg and McGregor.

Starting point is 00:59:00 No wrong answers in art, man. Yeah. Which I always found weird when I studied art in VCA. I was like, why, how are you scoring my art? Yeah, I think that. It's subjective. I think we're the truth. Trust me, it's great.

Starting point is 00:59:13 If you don't have the academia to back it up, right, then it's just a drawing. But if you can write a thesis about what is triangle means something, then it's odd. Okay. Ah, that's where I went wrong. You just have to back it up with lots of words and a degree.

Starting point is 00:59:32 Got it. Geez, that's going to annoy some people. I don't know what I'm talking about. Dave Fantastic. Fantastic report. Fantastic. Thank you so much. Who was that suggested by again?

Starting point is 00:59:43 Jen Jen. Jen Jen, that's right. Thank you so much. Who was that suggested by again? Jen Jen. Jen Jen, that's right. Thank you, Jen Jen. Well done. Jennifer McGregor. Jennifer McGenefer. Jennifer Jen Jen. And if you have any other wild stories from history

Starting point is 00:59:53 that we may, you know, may not be aware of, you can always chuck them in the hat at anytime. Do go on pod.com. There was a slight hint of the, there's been a few where it's been a big ship journey to the people's deaths. Yeah, and was that, so I should just say, bit sick. Ship journey to death. 50% that and 50% Joshua Norton, the emperor of the United States, just claiming you're something. That's right. But a lot more evil than him. Yeah, and then a little bit of Emperor of the United States, just claiming you're something. That's right.

Starting point is 01:00:25 But a lot more evil than him. Yeah, and then a little bit of the... What was the... Where they went to that paradise, the doctor. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the floreana island. Yeah, what's the floreana island? All the topics coming together.

Starting point is 01:00:37 I don't retain anything from this show. All of that was new to me. Yeah. I remember them, but I'm like, oh, yeah. Just hit subscribe, mate. Ha ha ha. All right. All right, well, that brings us up.

Starting point is 01:00:50 Thanks so much for the report, Dave. Absolutely fantastic. That brings us up to maybe my favorite segment of the show. It's the Fact Quotal question segment. Fact Quotal question. We're sure the world will show. And it's the segment where we get one of our patrons We're the world watcher. And it's the segment where we get one of our patrons on the Sydney Schoenberg level or above,

Starting point is 01:01:12 Rest in Peace, of course. And they get to give us a fact, a quote or a question. This week, it comes from Ed Banks. And what he would have done is he would have gone to patreon.com such do go on pod. And he would have signed up to support the show. Absolutely. And is that Ed while Ed banks the town wanks?

Starting point is 01:01:30 I think we said one time did a shout out to him. Potentially. Sorry. Sorry. I make it better today. That's fun. That's fun while Ed banks the town wanks. But fortunately for Ed,

Starting point is 01:01:43 I should be sitting on the very of the table. It's funny. Level. It's to give yourself your own title. So as well as being called Ed Banks, well, the townwanks, he's also given himself the title of Secretary of the Doogawon Fans with Boring Names Association. He said, because not all of us have the awesome names you so often get. Ed Banks is a great name. That's a great name and it's a real rock star name absolutely

Starting point is 01:02:05 Yeah, I was a great. I'm too. He said we demand equal representation. Well, I'm sorry Ed. I am Ed banks But you have a fantastic name. Yeah, I'm sure he's shreds. Put it on our poster. He's like selling out what festival hall or something Wembley, Wembley. Yes. The O2 arena festival hall Wembley All right, you went bigger than me. Yeah, all right. The Beatles played festival hall. Thank you. Do they play Wembley. All right, you went bigger than me. Big job, yeah. All right. The Beatles played Festival Hall. Thank you.

Starting point is 01:02:28 Do they play Wembley? So did Pantera, anybody? Penny was. I saw food fighters there as well. Did you? Friends of Rome. I saw. It's a notoriously shit venue, though.

Starting point is 01:02:41 But yeah, it's sort of like it's the big big mid to it's the one back from an arena in Melbourne. Yeah basically. Yeah. So you get pretty big bands on the way up all the way down. Oh wait, it's just post their prime they play there. Anyway whatever. And here it is playing there. And he's giving us a quote and this quote and we don't get heaps of quotes I don't think. I don't know. I like them. I like questions because I like to talk about me. I like quotes because they inspire me. Ed, inspire me.

Starting point is 01:03:12 Well, I guess the question is, does this quote inspire you too? It's from a Herman Hesse or Herman Hesse. If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. I found what it now, I read it again. Please. If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself.

Starting point is 01:03:35 What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. Yeah, yeah. I see that. I would agree with that. That's true. Yes. So what do you see of yourself in Bindi, Irwin? Hahaha.

Starting point is 01:03:47 Answer that. Fuck. There's a question back and off that quote. It's going to say a fucked answer too. What I'll say is, enthusiasm, test for life, and I miss that in myself. Oh, you see. I had that. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:04 I feel I've lost it, and I am jealous of myself. Oh, you see. I had that. Yeah. I feel I've lost it. And I am jealous of her. Yeah. And I have daddy issues. People still talk about that so long. That was over two years ago, I think. Yeah. In a live Melbourne show.

Starting point is 01:04:16 Yeah. I still... I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm sorry. Someone mentioned it on Twitter or something this week. I get tagged in a lot of stuff. Still about Bindi.

Starting point is 01:04:24 Yeah. She must know of me now. I do, I can. Because she tweets stuff and then people tweet at me and it happens so much, she must be like, what is this person said about me? She is a big enough deal that I don't think it would even get to her. Yeah, you're right. I hope it does. It would be fun if she knew about it.

Starting point is 01:04:42 I really hope it doesn't. Yeah, I hope it doesn't. Bindi's been through enough, without having to deal with this bullshit. Yeah. But that's on me. That is on you. So that is the fact quote or question segment. Thank you so much, Ed Banks.

Starting point is 01:04:56 Thanks, Ed Banks. Well, it's down to Wanks. You give us great quotes. Absolutely. And the town gets to Wank. And that's good for you. And Ed went to his banks and gave us a little bit of money to help keep kicking this show along and you can do that to at Petron.com slash do go on pod.

Starting point is 01:05:14 You get a whole heap of different rewards. One of them is the fact quote-unquote this segment. You also get things like bonus episodes or better record one of those tonight. You also get weekly newsletter that Jess is doing. She doesn't think she's one of the last couple weeks, but it's pretty much weekly. I did one. She did one. I'm getting back into the habit.

Starting point is 01:05:34 I'm just not a habit for me yet. Matt was talking for a long time. I'm not gonna. Back in the habit. Back in the habit. But I'll get there. I will. What else do you get there, Dave?

Starting point is 01:05:43 I get to do one this week. Yeah, you'll do one this week. Dude, this one I missed last week. I was jet lagged. What else do you get there? I get to do on this week. Yeah, you'll do on this week. So this one I missed last week. Yeah. I was jet lagged. What else do we got on there Dave? Well, we've just reached a new goal and we're working on a secret new project

Starting point is 01:05:53 that we're going to keep the patrons informed about. Yes, they're going to help us along. And it's sort of an audiovisual project. That's right. We are creating an art installation projected onto the Sydney Harper Bridge. We've received a grant. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:10 It's going to be me flipping off Sydney. And it's going to look, we're going to make it look like it's made a horse shit. Yeah. Just like mosquito island. I'm you listening. So if you go there to patreon.com slash 2.0 on pod, you can get involved. There's also a Facebook group that gives you access to and other things that I'm forgetting

Starting point is 01:06:30 right now, including shout out. I think you've covered all of it. Yeah, we're going to do some shout outs right here right now. Yeah. And is this too obvious if we give them a title of something like, is the Prince of Poie. Oh, maybe they have a role on Poie. Okay, oh, you're okay. So, Poie doesn't have any, at this stage, there's no one there, so we need to fill some jobs.

Starting point is 01:06:54 Yeah, you're right, perfect, I love that. And he's telling people that, oh yeah, we've already got these people. Look, this is blah, blah, the local chemist. Well, from Seth. Don't waste any. Now, we can't use chemist. I should say, used to live in Santa's Victoria. Now of course, lives in Poirier.

Starting point is 01:07:11 Riley Lockett could have been a relation of plugger. God, Riley. Surely if Riley was a relation to plugger, Riley would have let us know by now. Surely, Riley, surely. Surely, Riley. We've never put it out there if you are related to Tony plug-a locket getting in contact. Or Paul Kelly, let me know. Did you end up interviewing him? I saw him, he walked past me, we made eye contact, it was the greatest moment of my life.

Starting point is 01:07:40 I decided not to even ask if I could interview him. This is the weekend for context, the weekend just gone by and you just, you interviewed some people for the community concluding the opposition leader of Australia. Yeah, he was lovely. He was so nice. Anything else but easy. Yeah, Madam had a good chat.

Starting point is 01:07:58 He's delightful. Anyway, I thought, because Matt's tried ones before to interview Paul Kelly and he politely said no. I did ask Dan Sulton, another musician who played, and he was very polite to me, but said, like, oh, we're about to head off. No, I can't do it. And I said, no worries. And I'm replaying that embarrassment in my head every day since.

Starting point is 01:08:18 If it was Paul Kelly, I don't want to think about what I would have done. If it said no, I would have... It took me a while to get over it. He was so polite about it. Of course he was. He's an angel. And as soon as he said no, I'm like, I should know. And I asked him, so sorry. Did you say that?

Starting point is 01:08:35 I can't remember. I spot my head, I was like one of those movies where the focus drops out. And there's a walking away from a scenario everything blurs out and they wake up the next day. That's what happened to me. I have no idea what happened. Just being in the presence of Paul Kelly.

Starting point is 01:08:51 But he walked past me as he came off stage and we kind of made eye contact. And I was like, this is the greatest day of my life. Were you holding a microphone? Yes. I think you're walking. Of course he did. He's not an idiot.

Starting point is 01:09:02 Anyway, so I really lock it. Riley lock it. What's- Chemist. Locksmith. Oh, chemist. Oh, he's not an idiot. Anyway, so I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really,

Starting point is 01:09:18 I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, really, I really, really, I really, really, I really, I really, really, I really, really, really, I really, I really, me, everyone alive and everyone safe. Riley, you are the backbone of this society. But before the Opera House is even built,

Starting point is 01:09:31 it's gonna lock on its door. Yeah, and that's important because we're gonna keep the Opera safe. Yeah. You keep operating an Opera House, yes? Yeah, you do, that's what you keep it. Don't just let it anywhere else. Thank you so much, Riley.

Starting point is 01:09:44 I'd also love to think from Boise Idaho, which is one of my favorite places to say. Love it. The capital. Yeah. What is that? Is that Spud Country there? I've said a million times before Idaho Spud's Club is a T-shirt. I used to wear. I don't know where I got it. I don't know if it makes any sense, but I assume that it's spun country, no. It was a t-shirt with a potato reclining on a banana land with sunglasses. Oh, you've told us about that t-shirt.

Starting point is 01:10:13 I took about all of that. Where is it? It's got to be somewhere at home. If I find it, I'll definitely pull it out. Please. So thank you from Boise, Idaho, it's Cody Kelshaw. Potato Peala. Potato Peala. Just peel it, not a farmer.

Starting point is 01:10:28 No, you got to peel those potatoes. But who's farming him? Someone else, someone else. Probably Spud Fully, Tony Orkid's teammate in captain, also from Ballerado, I think. That is probably a Spud farmer. And that's why he has the nickname Spud. It's good nickname, but it's creative. Is there a chance that the St. Cudafootball Club could be moved?

Starting point is 01:10:47 Yeah, type of. Yeah, for final, maybe we just played a game of Shanghai a few weeks ago. Maybe we can play one game a year in poor yay. On the mosquito coves. On the swamps. So, so, uh, potato peel, I got to, and also Chief of Police. Yeah, okay. But I mean, we're saying their're main job first, and then they're moonlighting the second job.

Starting point is 01:11:09 Yeah, of course. Everyone's got two hats. But the potato hats is main hat. Thank you so much, Katie. Yes, senior sergeant Cody Kelshure. Thank you, Cody. Yeah. And Riley.

Starting point is 01:11:19 I'd also like to thank a few people, if I may. Please do. I'd like to thank, from Portland. What's M.I. M.I. Michigan? No, I think. Please do. I'd like to thank from Portland. What's M.I.? M.I. Michigan? Nothing is Michigan. Michigan? Michigan.

Starting point is 01:11:31 Michigan. Is it Michigan? That's right, Michigan. Or Missouri? Nothing else, MS. No, it is Michigan, M.I. Michigan, Poland in Michigan. I'd like to thank Steve,

Starting point is 01:11:45 time in, team in time in, time in. Oh, well, obviously he'd be in menswear. Taylor, he's a Taylor. Oh, Steve's a tool man, Taylor, team in. Oh, yes. So he's both a home improvement and also, Taylor again. Yes, so he's Taylor and a handyman.

Starting point is 01:12:06 Yeah. Handyman. Is a handyman. Say that again. It's a handyman. I know I'm saying it wrong, but I'll never. I'll never. You're gonna double down.

Starting point is 01:12:18 Steve's a classic handyman name as well. Yeah. Steve. Steve Hara Hubby. I had a guy come over to my house the other day just to drill a hinge back on. His name was Charles. And I was like, this does not match.

Starting point is 01:12:30 Charles. Charles. What was the hinge? I was on the security door at my house. Right on. And, you know, I got a really good property manager who gets onto that shit quick. That's great.

Starting point is 01:12:41 And I love that. Because I'll never own a home. And I would also like to I'll never own a home. And I would also like to thank, thank you Steve, I'd also like to thank from Andrews in Texas. Andrews. Didn't they ask about that one? TX, a little bit obvious.

Starting point is 01:12:54 Yeah. I'd like to thank Mayo. And the Saint Andrews maybe even. Is it? Or maybe not. No. Is that, is that, is either straight from the thing before or Saint Ferris?

Starting point is 01:13:08 We could straight. Oh, well, given away too much about this address now. Yeah, he's living on a street in Andrews. I like to think Naomi Chapman. Naomi Chapman. She's also the Chaplain. Chaplain and Pro-Golfa. Yes.

Starting point is 01:13:21 So if you want to get a golf lesson, you got to Naomi Chapman. There's some weekends. Pro-Golfa. Yeah, one. Yeah. Actually, no, she is a chaplain so she might be busy on Sundays But maybe through the week she's got time for golf lessons. Yeah, and she plays the tournament on Saturday mornings Yeah, right. Okay, so through the week golf lessons tournament satellites and then Chapel Salas gosh, she's busy. Yeah, and she's also, you know working also working on getting club fittings done and that sort of stuff. Good heavens.

Starting point is 01:13:49 Yeah. Busy lady. Great. But, I mean, that's what we need in a new society. We need people who are busy bodies and just get stuff done. Yeah. That's not a busy body. That's not a busy body.

Starting point is 01:13:58 No, that's not a busy body. Get busy with your body. We need doers. Yeah. You know, she's a doer. She's not a talker, she's a doer. I loveer. She's not a talker, she's a doer. I love that. She's not a gunner, she's a doer.

Starting point is 01:14:08 Yeah. Yeah, no doubt. Thank you Naomi, Steve Codia and Riley. All right. Anything else Dave? I'd like to bring us home with a couple of people from the good old US of A. Yeah, they're all been US except for Riley so far today.

Starting point is 01:14:22 Got two more coming up from uh... Trempolo Wizconcent. Uh-oh. It's Kansen. Was that the Midwest? I assume everything is in the Midwest. It is. It's a town of 1600. In the Midwest? Yeah. Yes.

Starting point is 01:14:38 Good job. 1600. That's a small town. Really? A small town. I would like to thank from there. Tyler... Socolic. Tyler is small town. Really small town. I would like to thank from there, Tyler, so collic.

Starting point is 01:14:48 Tyler so collic. Tyler, I reckon once you named the town, Tyler was pretty confident it was them. Yeah. You know, you'd be like, this has got to be me, or this someone else in the town listening. Okay.

Starting point is 01:15:00 At which point I got to find them. Maybe they're my soul mate. Really? I don't know, that Maybe they're my soul mate. Really? I don't know, that's what I'd be thinking. Really? Well, do you think that Tyler might be? I think maybe an architect. Slush fortune teller. Yes.

Starting point is 01:15:12 Obviously, still a lot of infrastructure, including all of it needs to be built and designed. And people need to know whether that's going to happen on time, so they ask him. Three of the fortunes. Steve needs to, he's building the stuff, needs to be designed. And that's where Tyler comes in. So, but Lerge, and all. Steve's got to work off blueprints. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:15:32 Yeah, yeah. So what was Tyler's other job? Architect and... Ah, fortune teller. Fortune teller. We're high on our work. Again, weekend, mostly. Very important jobs, yes.

Starting point is 01:15:41 Architect on the weekends, but obviously, most of the job is five days a week. Really, fortunes. Oh, okay Much more important much more important. Yeah, glass ball, you know looking into it moving the hands around Yeah, a lot of what a lot of how do you really reading some tarot cards? I'm so yeah, yeah That's obviously a different job, but until the tarot reader gets into town. Yeah, yeah Tyler will Wear that wear the front of that. Thank you so much, Tyler.

Starting point is 01:16:06 And finally, from Cheska, Minnesota. Cheska! I think that is a great town name. Cheska is a very cool, I like it. I'm ahead of it, but I love it. I would like to thank Nolan Blazer. Nolan Blazer. You'll be back, Nolan.

Starting point is 01:16:20 For 20. I was gonna say, on the side, definitely pot-dealer. Oh. That's just pot, actually. He's got everything. I was going to say on the side definitely pot dealer. That's just pot actually. He's got everything. No, no, it's not everything in it. Name takes as dealer. But then also during the week real estate agent, we're in a red blazer called our red blazer real estate. That's but little nodded a wink.

Starting point is 01:16:42 Yeah. Everyone knows inside that inner pocket of the blazer. Every inspection is set at 4.20pm. Oh yeah, he says, well, we're gonna blazer blazer. Let's blaze. Hey, let's talk money. That's the scent of a lighter. Wow, what's that?

Starting point is 01:17:01 What the amount of a thousand noise, what number was that? Oh, 77. Good. I... Great. Does he get you to read out the lottery numbers? Because that was good. 70 and... Yeah, 70 and...

Starting point is 01:17:13 70 and... 70 and... Seven there. Two bent over ladies. 77. Yeah. Thank you to Nolan Blazer. Do they have a joke for every number? I think so.

Starting point is 01:17:25 How? Why don't I have a joke? Yeah, joke is a kind term, isn't it? I can't think of any of them. I'll say some like two fat ladies, 88. 88, legs 11. Legs 11, great. That's what I can think of.

Starting point is 01:17:42 69, didn't look good too. Three boobs on the side. Or a bum. Eight boobs and bum together. They're all sexy. Yeah, they're all very sexy. Legs 11 gets me hot. I didn't like your face just there. I'm going to see it, I'd rather you do, so enjoy that.

Starting point is 01:18:07 And thanks to everyone that supported on Patreon, of course, you make the world of difference to us. Yes. You do, and we love you very much for it. We are, and I, you say you can't see his face, I'm really keen to do this, just start putting the camera in the corner so the YouTube videos are just the videos. We don't even have to put a picture on it. It's just us.

Starting point is 01:18:29 People have asked for it every week for the last little while. Yeah, and you mean you keep talking about it And you never set up the camera. Well, I mean there's three of us here. Why is it always on me? Where's the camera? It's in the like two doors down in your office. Yeah, why I wouldn't want to pry in there. You pry every time you come by We're not invited in there, man You're not vampires. I just like to come say hello. This isn't sunny veil, or wherever Bobby lived. Don't touch anything in my office. Some of those. Okay, I won't.

Starting point is 01:18:54 Thank you. Any more. Now that we've established that rule. So that brings us to the end of the bloody episode. I cannot believe it. What a ride. Thanks so much, everyone, for coming and joining us here in the pod zone.

Starting point is 01:19:07 As we always say. Yeah, we do always say that. Anything else we need to tell people about? Obviously the Brisbane shows get involved. Yep. If you go to dogoonpod.com, all info is there. You can find our YouTube channel at youtube.com. So that's dogoonpod. And there are some, there's a bunch of live videos's there. You can find our YouTube channel at youtube.com.se to do

Starting point is 01:19:25 Go OnPod. And there are some, you know, there's a bunch of live videos up there. There's also one studio episode we record a while back about Terere re. You can see that. Oh yeah. Sitting at a table in London. But in London, I mean, there's a picture of some some beautiful London phone booths behind the shirt. You can tell we're in London. Yes. We had that installed. If people bug me enough this week, I'll bring the camera out for next week. Why would you invite the bugging? Because You can tell we're in London. Yes. We had that installed. If people bugged me enough this week, I'll bring the camera out for next week. Why would you invite the bugging?

Starting point is 01:19:49 Because if they don't bug, I'll know not to bother. Oh, okay, great. Yeah, cool. It's quite good. It's not worth it hassle if no one wants it. Fair enough. And yeah, if everything's pretty much to go on pod, please tell your friends if you can to listen in, if you think they might enjoy it,

Starting point is 01:20:07 it's the best way of spreading the good word, keeping it all rolling along. And yeah, get in touch if you have anything you want to tell us at do go on pod at gmail.com or on our social medias. Yeah, that's just about it, I reckon. Yeah. That's Dave saying, shut up. No, that's me saying, thanks for listening everyone. Yeah. That's Dave's saying, shut up. No, that's me saying. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a great week. If you are all up today, we'll do go on and you should check out other two podcasts. Bookcheat, where Dave takes a book and reads it so you don't have to it's a classic book. I thought he cheated on them. No. He boons other books. The whole episode is

Starting point is 01:20:40 making out with a different book. Cop this war and caught this war on peace. Maybe Dick tastes great. Oh, that was worse. Anything I'd imagined. And I also do a podcast called Primates. And it's about primates and popular culture. And that's a whole heap of bloody fun. And you can find them on the internet. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:21:00 Yeah. But apart from that, we'll see you next week. And as we always say here, on to go on. Fuck off, fuck off. I love you, love you, bye, latest. Goodbye. That's how Matt leaves the house. Fuck off, fuck off, I love you.

Starting point is 01:21:15 Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love. All in one place. You'll find beauty favorites, cozy presents, fun ideas under 100 and more. Like festive dressing for you in your home.

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Do Go On - 192 - Conman, “Prince” Gregor MacGregor

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