Two In The Think Tank - 278 - Fritz Duquesne; The Counterfeit Hero

Episode Date: February 17, 2021

There aren't many people who pack more into their life than Fritz Duquesne did - soldier, British spy, German spy, fake war hero.... spy again. It's a wild and full on story, so come along for the ride!Buy tickets to our four live Melbourne podcasts on March 28, April 4,11 and 18: https://www.trybooking.com/BOMAA Buy tickets to Matt’s stand up MICF show ‘Nostalgia Was Better When I Was A Boy’ : https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2021/shows/nostalgia-was-better-when-i-was-a-boy Matt’s New Interview Show: ‘Matt Your Heroes’: https://youtu.be/VVsVGkzVNZQSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Buy tickets to our streamed shows (there are 12 available to watch now! All with exclusive extra sections): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritz_Joubert_Duquesne

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution,

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Miss Talja was better when I was a boy and it's on at the Acacia room at the Victoria Hotel and it's on all nights of the festival apart from Mondays. I think it's on something like, it's around eight o'clock, I forget exactly the time. Seven, 50. Seven, 50, yeah, I reckon seven, 50, and then six, 50 on Sundays. And if you click the link in the show notes,

it'll give you all the details. You can book tickets right now, and you can do it with a discount code, do go on for you beautiful podcast listeners. Please get in and buy tickets, make me feel better about myself. Every time every ticket that's sold builds up myself confidence a little more.

They went on the dates for their live podcast. Ha, ha, ha. We saw a few tickets available since we've made the room a little bit bigger on March 28th, April 4th, April 11th, April 18th, now. Four Sunday nights at 8.30pm. Also, click the link in the description. Oh, this episode. And buy a few tickets. That'll be so good. Can you still get the season passes at a discount? Yes, there are still season passes available. Four shows for the price of three. Other way round. No, yeah, that's right. So let's get it wrong. This will show the price of four. Great deal. While I've got you all, I've also just started a five-part series where I interview my heroes.

The first one was with Andrew Gasey Gaze and that's already up on the Stupid Old Channel which is the Stupid Old Studios YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash Stupid Old Channel I guess and the link to that is in the show notes as well. The next week's episode is with my all-time favorite AFL footballer, science legend, Justin Frankie Packett so science legend, Justin Frankie Packett, so get ready to watch Laugh Learn and probably cringe a bit of what I'm doing right now thinking back to it. It was really nice. I just had regrets, you know, like you do after meeting people. What was it? No cooler. Anyway, we should get on with the show, I guess. Hello and welcome to another episode of Doogawon. My name is Dave Warnke and as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello!

Hello. And before we hear more from them, let me tell you that this show is a little podcast that we've been recording for a few years now, where we take an entrance to a report on a topic often suggested by a listener. And other person doing the report, they go away, do their research,

the other people, don't know what they're gonna talk about and it's Jess's turn to do that report this week. And we always start with a question to get us on to topic, JP, hit us with a question. Which World War I spy was known as the Black Panther? Oh, God, that's such a cool name. Oh, okay. It probably to be fair, won't be a name you recognise.

Okay. I'd be surprised if you've heard it, but then again, I'm an idiot. So why am I assuming that my knowledge is the same as everybody else's? So can I rephrase the question? You tell me what's the answer to the question? Who's this about? This is about Frederick or Fritz Duquesne. Okay, let me rephrase the question for you. Yes. All right. Thanks. Uh, yep. I'm doing the report this week. I am Jess Frederick DuCane would fought in the First World War. He was better known by which Marvel character title. Oh my god I actually know this

Captain America I'll have a stab on Matt, um, Black Panther. Correct. Suck. One for Matt. Well done, Matt. You're so smart, Matt. Thank you, Jess.

Carl, I wish Dave was as smart as you, because he is dumb. I wish I was just trying to keep up, isn't he? You can see the pedal sort of moving his brain. Yeah. It's kind of sweet, but it's also infuriating. Yeah. Because he's always wrong. So I like how you open the show today, David, felt like we're on like a BBC show.

Somehow it just felt classier, right? Yeah. And we both just say hello. That's how they start all those shows, isn't it? It's like, I'm here, we're up. I don't want to hear from you, yeah. Let me explain what we're here for. Shut up. Shut up. And I'm here with Matt're up. I don't want to hear from you yet. Let me explain why we're here for all. Shut up, shut up. We're here.

And I'm here with Matt and Jess. We're here for them in about 15 minutes, but before that, he's in breath. Just very polite. I like it. I like it a lot. I feel classy. Am I right to feel classy? No. So I put this one up to the vote because we sort of had a couple of episodes. Have we had two in a row so far that was World War One related? Yes. We picked it off with the event that kicked off the First World War, the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand's. And then we heard of that famous fighter pilot, the Ace of Aces, the Red Baron.

What a great name. That's right. Well, you know, great as a great name. What do you think of the black panther as an egg name? Yeah, that's sick. That's a great nickname. It's not the same word twice. If it was the panther of panthers, I'd be like, that's no good.

Yeah. Great point. Ace of aces, stupid. What about the panther of aces? The ace of panthers. The ace of panthers. Now we're getting somewhere. Now we're getting somewhere. Now we're getting somewhere.

Now I'm interested. That's actually cool. Well, I put another few sort of World War One topics up to the Patreon and they voted in this one one by, I think it was at one stage it was there was ten votes in it. I think it ended up winning by a little bit more, but it was a pretty tight race. But I think that it chose pretty well because this is a fairly wild story. And firstly, I do want to mention as well

that this topic was suggested by Aaron Butler and Kelly Clark. And if you want to suggest a topic, you can do so. There should be... There's a link in our show description. Well, you can just chuck in any topic you think might be interesting. And that's how we find most about topics. That's right. You can also get our website doge1pod.com.

That's right. Or just email us and I'll email you the link that happens a lot, even though we've had that link readily available for many years. I appreciate it. You reply to me once a week with that same information. I say, Dave, please stop hassling me on our joint email address. You have my phone number, leave me alone. Well, you blocked that years ago, but anyway. So I wanted to start with a quote from one of the websites that I used a bit for this report.

And it says, the story of Frederick or Fritz Duquesne's life reads, stranger than any fiction. And in many cases, it is a fiction of his own creation. Most historical sources agree that he was a confidence-trickster, extraordinary, and that many details of his life were crafty embellishments or outright lies. So there's definitely going to be points where we're like, this is what is mostly believed, but not super backed up. Right. Does he claim claim to have assassinated Archie France Ferdinand himself? Yes. Also, he was the red Baron. Yeah, I am the baron and I'm also Mary Poppins. And I also shot the red baron.

Yeah. Wow. So I'm very interesting. I love it. I love a guy who writes his own fan fiction. And I'll tell you what, this guy packs a lot into his life. So let's get stuck in. So Fritz Ducan, I'm just going to call him Fritz through all of this. Also, his surname is spelled D-U-Q-U-E-S-M-E, but that is pronounced like Ducan. Is that his first lie? That does not sound right. No, it doesn't.

He was born in 1877 to a bore family in South Africa. He was the eldest of three at a young assistant named Elspitt and a younger brother named Pedro. His father, Abraham, supported the family as a hunter and he frequently traveled to sell skins, tusks and horns. Young Fritz followed in his father's footsteps and became a hunter as well. And it was during one of his early hunting trips

that he developed an interest in panthers. He observed a black panther patiently waiting, motionless, for the perfect time to strike a cautious African buffalo drinking from a nearby watering hole. He decided the panther would be his totem and he adopted the panther's hunting style into his own. So stay still. Oh, okay. No, no, no, walk around on all fours. Just going, waping your arms around, not

necessarily an effective hunting style. So he was actually the first to stay still when hunting. Really? He came up with it. Well, he brought that into a pan to come up with it. Yeah exactly and then he said hey Panthe seem to have a bit more of a success rate than we do. I think there's probably Sto still probably listeners who want me to Question the fact that he has a he's from a family of balls. We took it went to them wild pigs No, B.O. E.R Like the ball war or something. Yeah, right.

They like a Dutch and French descendents in South Africa. Right, quite dull, I'm thinking. No, that's B.O.R.E. Dave. We were both wrong. Damn it. There's a third ball. And you know what, like sometimes I will put in like a bit of an explanation of things just to like clarify anything for listeners or if it would be something that maybe I would be confused by.

And in that one I was like, I recommend Dave will know. And so I didn't put anything in there and then I just had to recall it and I might be wrong. Now what I'm guessing here is that just knew that there's a couple of idiots here who will be asking so she wouldn't need to put that in. Oh look I was like I said I was asking for the listeners. I'm their client to it. I knew that the boys were a Dutch South African French. I knew that and that's why the ball was and I didn't always picture the ball was to be pig-fighted. Balls, exactly yeah. That's not what I ever did. So it was to be pig-fighted. Ball was. Exactly, yeah. That's not what I ever did. So it's weird that you insinuated that it was. Do you know what actually I saw something on Facebook the other day that was like I was

today years old when I realised that this little pig you went to market didn't mean it went shopping and I was like oh yeah and why did the why did one of them have false teeth? No nobody had false teeth. This little piggy went to mug this little piggy said this little piggy had false teeth this little piggy. Oh, isn't it? You think of roast beef? A roast beef. Was that the more the more the more the more I've been version. Was that the Meribon version? I'm sure we did have a very deep. Yeah, no, I mean very different. So one of them is the center market to be sold.

One of them stays home. One of them stays home. Who knows when it's getting up to you? Watching the tally. One of them eats some cow. Okay, roast something. One of them has nothing. One has not, geez.

And one of them goes, we we we we we we we all the way home. Okay, but one of them is already at home. So confusing. It's really odd. I suppose like any home they kind of come and go as they please. Yeah, but five very different outcomes for those five pigs. Which would you prefer? I'd prefer to have the false teeth. I prefer to stay home. Yeah, I think that's probably the one. Yeah, that's the good one, Eric.

But going wee wee wee wee wee does sound fun too. That's me. That's you Dave. You can have that one. Thanks. Anyway, now, so yes, he's decided that the Panther will be his totem and he will stay still when hunting. Now, I'm not entirely sure how old he was when he started hunting or when he decided he would use the black panther as a totem, but I did read something kind of

fucked that was very flippantly mentioned on Wikipedia, just said at age 12 Fritz killed his first man. I was like, okay, I'm moving on. As all who man who attacked his mother, he used the man's own short sword to stab him in the stomach. Right. That was it. That's it. Two sentences, about a 12-year-old committing murder. Killed it. Twelve.

But it sounds like it was a self-defense. This is what it's how it's told, right? I suppose so, yeah. But it's it. If he was attacking his mother, it sounds like it was not self-defense. It's mother-defense. Yeah. But it seems.

Can you use that more in the court, all? It seems this would be the first of many killings the young Fritz would make. Oh, why is that because... Why is the independence mother? People attacking his mother constantly. Well, it's a family. Apparently a gun battle broke out at one point

and Fritz still a child, shot and killed several people. Okay. Baffling. It's speculated that his family will rather well off, and this is supported by the fact that at 13, he was sent to school in England. And after graduating, he attended Oxford University

for a year before attending the Royal Military Academy in Brussels. Although it's worth mentioning that a record of his attendance at either of these institutions does not exist. So that's fun. And then it says-. And they're keeping records at Oxford University. Yeah, I couldn't keep track of every street. All the Royal Military Academy. Yeah, I'm sure a military academy is not going to be taking for stittiest sort of records. We've got a lot on, okay. Are you in the army? No, you know, okay, sorry. I don't know. Just people as they walk past the birds. Hey come back to work if you work here

You don't get keep keep keep People apart, I mean some of them are holding a picnic basket and and the kite you work here The picnic basket full of grenades is it bring it back bring back. Oh, he just sandwiches? Okay, as you were. You also bring a murder drone or not? Which one is it? Oh, we don't have those yet. A fun drone or a murder drone? Mm-hmm. So another sort of quote here is that since much of what has been written about the man

has its origin in a 1932 biography in which he collaborated, there may indeed be some grounds for doubt. So he could be bullshitting, and this biography is kind of like one of the main sources. So that's possible, but we believe he went to Oxford and then the Royal Military Academy. Even Fritz himself wrote that after he finished school in England, he was sent to Europe to study engineering. But on the ship, he met an embezzler named Christian Devrius and the two decided to take a trip around the world. So even his own writing sort of contradicts it a little bit.

But regardless of what he was studying, when the second-born war broke out in 1899, 22 year old Fritz returned to South Africa to join the ball commandos as a lieutenant. And during the siege of Lady Smith, which is a fantastic name of a battle, Fritz was wounded, shot in his right shoulder. After this siege, he was promoted to the rank of Captain in the artillery. During the Second Ball War, when British forces began to put more pressure on, some of the gold from the central bank was taken to be shipped to the Netherlands for the use of President Paul Kruger and other BORXRs who would fled South Africa.

Basically, the President was kind of like, oh, we might actually lose this. So he took a bunch of money out of the bank in gold and like shipped it, you know, some of it would have been used towards war efforts, some of it would have been to help people who had fled, but the gold... Some of it would have been used for false teeth, some of it would have been used for luck, some of it would have been used for wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee The gold was sent by train to a small town and then by road to Lorenzo Marquie in Portuguese East Africa, now Mozambique, and then shipped to the Netherlands. So it was like this big air pit kind of journey for the gold to go on. Collectively, it was about 1.5 million pounds or 680,000 kilos of gold bullions was taken to South African Mint between the 29th of May and the 4th of June

1900. So in the space of a few days, 1.5 million pounds of gold taken out of the bank. Crazy. That is... What was that number? 1.5 million pounds. And this is in the olden days. That's worth more even now, right? That's like in, that's weight. So 680,000 kilos. I don't even understand what that means. Yeah.

That's a lot of gold. That's worth, that's worth like many pounds. That sounds like most of the gold ever. Wow. Yeah, I don't think there's any gold left. Geez. And guess who was in command of one of these large shipments? Ooh, um, Johnny Boor.

That's right. Yes, actually, yeah. Yes, oh my god, you had a very good of this. But also another one was Fritz2K. Yeah, he had some as well. So while in the Portuguese East African wilderness, a violent disagreement broke out amongst the Boors. I'm not sure how many men there were on the journey, but by the end of the violent disagreement, only

Fritz, two wounded Boer soldiers and their tottees, who were like native porters, remained alive. So just a bunch of people died over the disagreement. We don't have any information on what the disagreement was over, but it got violent. Wow. So Fritz ordered the totties to hide the gold in the caves for safe keeping and to burn the wagon and kill the wounded. Correct. He's brutal. I do love the word totties, though. So such a brutal little story there, what a nice word in the middle. Little totty, little native port, as I guess they're kind of like the equivalent of Sherpas or something. So he gave the toddy's all the oxen, except for one,

which he rode away on. And a historian named Art Ronnie, incredible name, writes in 1995, that the buried central bank gold, commonly referred to as Kruger's millions, is only a legend. However, in more recent times, there have been reports about discoveries in South Africa of the missing gold buried by Du Cane.

I read that there was a story going around as recently as 2001 that a family had found the gold, but there's still no proof. The story goes that this big fight broke out, the gold was hidden and he wrote off on an ox. Wow. Something that is a little bit frustrating about Fritz's story is that you read Wild bits of info like this violent disagreement happening. And then the next piece of info is somewhere completely different doing something else and the connecting tissue of the stories and around or it isn't readily available in the resources

that I've found. So it feels to me like there's just a series of jump cuts or it's like a sitcom where you kind of like you can pop in at any time and you kind of is a series of vignettes. Yes, thank you. All played by Steve Pashimi. He just sounds like maybe he might be magic or something. Do you think? Okay. So maybe people like, he's made it up, but really he's a wizard. Okay. And that's why he's just all of a sudden I'm here, new reality. And he's just snapping his fingers.

Yeah, right. Okay. Maybe he's more like a, he can travel through space and time. Yes. Maybe. He's using all of his brain, 100% not like us, according to some movies. He's using all of it. Well, it sounds like an awesome way to some movies. He is an all of it. Well, it sounds like an awesome way to steal a shitload of gold as I was saying, oh, I

know, I had the totty's hided in this cave here and then you just take it all and then for the next 100 years people were looking for it. People keep looking for it. Anyway, so the next we hear of Fritz, he's back with the bore forces for the Battle of Burgundale in 1900, where his unit were captured by the Portuguese and sent to an internment camp. While in the internment camp in Portugal, he charmed the daughter of one of the guards who then helped him escape to Paris. Again, not a lot of info, he just charmed her.

Charmed the daughter of one of the guards. Yeah, why was she hanging around at this internment camp? And it's what she's like, dad, let this prisoner go. He charmed me. Dad, I like him. Come on, please, we're gonna run away together. Da, da, da. Me and that prisoner, he's a wizard.

What, it's like work experience or something. And she got really involved. Well, that is an internment camp, Dave. So that makes sense. Yeah. Internship camp. Oh, that's good.ment camp, Dave. So that makes sense. Yeah. Internship camp. Oh, that's good. You know, something's good is when someone grimaces.

No, I just saw me a bit to get it. I was like, I don't get it. Intern. So he escaped to Paris. From Paris, he made his way to England where he infiltrated the British Army. So as an officer in the British Army, he made his way to England, where he infiltrated the British army. So as an officer in the British army, he was posted to South Africa, where he was from. Oh, okay.

Kind of like he scored a free ride home. Yeah, to get one. But while they're with the British army, his unit passed through his parents' farm in Nostrum and it had been completely destroyed. Oh, that'll be your shattering. And you've got to pretend it's not, you know, because that would give away who you are, so you just have to pretend to be unaffected.

So would he be fighting on the opposite side to his parents or? Yeah. Right. So it'll have to be like, Do you try to be the British? Glad this. So the the ball army fought against the English army. Yeah.

Which I knew as well, just clarifying. These are all things that I've found else. And I'm saying it was a lot of comfort. It's too when I go, yeah. So a lot of families lost their properties under Herbert Kitchener's scorched earth policy. It's basically a military strategy that aims to destroy anything that might be helpful

to the enemy. So, farms gone. Fred's also learnt that his sister had been killed and his mother was dying in a British concentration camp. And this is a quote from historian Art Ronny again. It's such a good quote. So, the fate of his country and his family would breed in him and all consuming hatred of England and would turn him into what a biographer, a climate would called, a walking, living, breathing, searing, killing, destroying torch of hate.

Whoa. He's just like, I fucking hate the British. I'm like, you have the dictionary open. Yeah. Um, killing, destroying, he's just like, got a mind map and some text. Horny. Maybe. Horny.ny um frazzled horny frazzled huh my ears are burning

what a way to be so he's very understandably and really sounds like so far what you've told is the the opening of a film. This is the origin story of how you know Rambo or I don't know I've never seen Rambo but one of those films where someone's out to get vengeance John Wick or absolutely absolutely have you seen John Wick? No, but I know that his dog or cat has killed and then he and the rest of the movie is him getting vengeance for the dead dog or cat. All right, spoiler. I think that's right at the start.

So it's still spoiled it for me. I still haven't seen the very start of it. So, yes, edit that out so I don't ruin it for others. So, he returned to Cape Town with secret plans to sabotage British war efforts and to kill Kitchener. John Wick, I mean. He's like, I'm going to fuck him kill him. But he was going to need some help, a rag tag bunch, if you will. This is a movie. Love it. Yeah. He recruited 20 ballmen to help him. Not sure if these were people that he already knew, or how he recruited them. However, it's always risky involving

that many people in any plan because apparently the wife of one of the men betrayed the group, giving them away to the British. On October 11, 1901, while attending a fancy dinner party, Fretz was arrested for conspiracy against the British government and on the charge of espionage. Now, I feel confident as the feminists of this podcast to say this, but that was the waifu got them in the Vancouver. Yeah. Well, I feel fine saying this, like I say, credentials are out there on the table, I'm a feminist. Never trust women.

Oh, God, I'm glad you said it. Because I know that was on everyone's. I thought, yeah, absolutely, but I was like, well, I'm glad you said it. Because I know that was on everyone's. I thought, yeah, absolutely. But I was like, well, I can't bloody say it. Get on. No, it wouldn't seem like I'll get canceled. I'll get canceled. Yes.

I already have been so fun. Yeah, you can't get double cancer. As a car carrying feminist, you're allowed to say it. I'm allowed to say it. Yeah, I'm a part of it. The good guys. But yeah, Dave knows he can't get double cancelled, it's a double jeopardy. You can't kill it's already dead. I can walk up to feminism in Times Square and pull

the trigger if I remember that quote from the movie Double Jepity. Yeah. Okay. Well that's a fun reference for everyone. I'm sure there's one person, there must be one person I got that. I saw that film in Gold Class. Oh, what did you eat? Did you eat a curry? Is she going to curry yet? No, this is the early days. I got a free ticket to the... I don't have any money to then buy food. No one's ever paid for Gold Class. Have they?

Who's done that? Isn't it only ever vouchers? Only ever. A relative who doesn't know you that well has got you in the family KK and just gone well, that'll be nice. How do they go? Oh, yeah. I only have a realtorized gift. A relative has given, a relative who doesn't know you that well has got you in the family KK and just gone well, that'll be nice. How did that go? Oh yeah.

Okay, so that's how that made money. You used it in the last week of the two years, you're allowed to. Of course, yeah. So you go, fuck, we really should use this. And the only thing, oh no, it's only double jeopardy, you're right. Guess I'm watching double jeopardy. Guess what's, guess what? Tommy Lee Jones.

Tommy Lee Jones and and Ashley Judd. Ashley Judd from that phrase in the bar move. We watch the other, the other month. Let's not talk about that. Okay. Double jeopardy is good. It's a good movie. I think it's fine.

Well, I mean, I remember enjoying it 10 years ago when I saw it. So, but it's better than whatever that trash was. The coming of age of nationally mood or something like that. No, the passion. The passion of darkly nude. Thank you. It was pretty close. Anyway, what are weird side tracks? Yes. Okay. So, yes, he's charged.

He's a rest of the conspiracy against the British government and on the charge of SB&R. He was court-martialed as a... I mean, we say left tenant, don't we? Yeah, I think so, but it's about the same as lieutenant. And it looks like it should be lieutenant, really. I'm going to say lieutenant. He was court-martialed as a lieutenant in the British army and sentenced to be shot along with his co-conspirators.

Right. So, the next day, the 20 members of his team were executed by fire in squad. Oh God. Fritz, however, managed to get a plea bargain at the last second. And in exchange for secret, ball codes and some translations, Fritz's life would be spared. Oh, he dug the boys. He would instead receive a life in prison. Yeah, he did. Oh my god. He's a grouse. They all died. Dave, you think he dug the boys, but that's not at all right.

What he did was he got in the mind of the black panther. He said, what would the black panter do? Plea bargain. Yeah, that's like, lay still and get a plea. Exactly right. I think it's, I think this is, if this is even correct that we say, maybe the British say left tenant and Americans say, Lutana, which I think is right, but it might not be. Yeah. But it just seems like one of the many examples of Americans going, you're saying your own words wrong.

We're going to fix it for you. Yeah. I think they did that. Absolutely. They're like, that's not right. We're changing to fix it for you. Yeah, absolutely. I think they did that with a lot of different words where they're like, that's not right. We're changing Z to Z, makes more sense. Rhyme with ABC.

Let's just make it easy for everyone. We're like, it's Z for Z, bra. Shut up, you're wanker. I'm going to say it's Z for Z, bra. You know? Two shows. Well, it's beautiful. You're also beautiful. I love it.

I love coming together, bra. Yeah, it's nice, because we have so many things that are different about us, but they're like so many things that are similar. Do you want to mean? I know. Like, we all have blood inside us. Not me. Not since I got cancelled. You got ooze. They take your blood. They remove your blood? Yeah. They're a replacement of those. What color's the ooze? Yeah, the preferred color those. What color's the use? Rain. Yeah, the preferred color. Classic use, classic use.

Anyway, so he's got a life sentence now. And this historian Art Ronnie wrote, for the rest of his life, he swore he never betrayed the bore cause, but actually created new codes that would mislead the British. But again, who knows? That's what he swear. Well, he was like jumping on the spot and grabbing one ear and pulling it down, saying, this means hello. Yeah, just do that and then they'll know.

So, he was imprisoned in Cape Town in the Castle of Good Hope. That sounds good. That's a great place to be imprisoned. It was a fort built by the Dutch and the 1600s, and 1666 actually, fun to say. The walls of the castle were extremely thick, yet night after night, Fritz dug away the cement around the stones with an iron spoon, and he was like, I'm getting out of here.

He nearly escaped one night, but a large stone slipped and pinned him in his little tunnel. The next morning, a guard found him unconscious, but unenged. So he nearly got out, but he didn't quite make it. I think that's what he was doing. What a panther would do, Dave. Just lie there. Be patient. I can't see you. You can't see me. He was eventually sent to a penal colony in Bermuda known for its frequent storm conditions, shark infested waters and dangerous reefs. The British believed it to be an inescapable prison,

but has that ever stopped anyone from trying? I think every time an inescapable prison comes up on this show, someone's about to escape. Yeah, absolutely, or an unsinkable ship. Sure, that was just one time, but it bears repeating. I think if anyone is wondering about any shapes that come off Bermuda, triangles in particular, they should go back, unless they're

out of Bermuda Triangle episode, where we go into great detail explaining what that's all about. I think it's a very vague memory. I remember none of that. I remember even less. I remember Matt had he said in a bucket during the episode, so. Yeah, but he was also wearing a suit, so he looked great while feeling shit. And even that.

We take the wins we can. Yeah, exactly. So on the night of June 25, 1902, he slipped out of his tent, climbed over the barbed wire fence, and swam 1.5 miles or 2.4 kilometers past patrol boats and managed to make it to land. Wow. Tencent. From there.

He meant to be a very easy to break out of immediately. What do you have a pair of scissors? He dug out with a spoon. Surely this is pre-Velcro, so he probably just walked out of it. It was just a flap. Maybe a zipper is invented, maybe. They put him in an inescapable tent. Zippers feel like modern tech, no, no.

Probably will ask a couple of decades. Yeah, we will zip the thing. How'd you do up a jacket? All buttons. Oh my God, so, Teezy. Imagine butting up a tent every time, pain in the ass. Oh my God, I wouldn't camp. I tell you that for free. I wouldn't bloody go camp, but if I had to butt in up a tent every time, hanging in the ass. Oh my God. I wouldn't camp. I tell you that for free.

I wouldn't bloody go camp, but if I had to button up a tent, I don't go camping as it is, but... Double wood. Definitely not. Yeah, double wooded. So, he's made it to land, and from there he went to the home of Anna Maria Outerbridge, a leader of Ball Relief Committee, and she helped him escape to the port of St. George's, where another ball relief committee member,

Captain WE Meyer, arranged for his transportation off the island. So they helped him basically escape. Right. A week later, Fritz stowed away on a boat heading to Baltimore. And by the way, he's only 25 at this point. Wow. Well, the Red Baron's already 25 at this point. Wow. Wow, the red barons already dead at this stage.

Yeah. From Baltimore, he headed to New York City. Now with his hunting and military background, what kind of jobs might he be qualified for? Oh, lobby boy. Lobby boy. Wobby's world, attendant. Wobby's world attendant, yes.

Ice cream truck driver. Ice cream truck driver. Ice cream truck driver, of course. These are all good examples. Behave course got a job as a journalist. Oh. Oh. Writing adventure stories for the New York Herald. The second, the second ball war ended not long after, but with his family gone and his

list of war crimes, he never returned to South Africa. Funny that. A list of war crimes. I mean, that's the only thing stopping me from going home is a list of war crimes. And you know how to start? We said that we don't really know how much to trust because he bullshit a lot. Well, there was a write-up about him in a magazine in 1998 saying he was a traveling correspondent that had been all over the world,

but there was no evidence found to back that up. So it might have been true, some of it might have been true, some might have been lies. He's a bit of a trouble. Maybe he just had a road under an assumed name or something. Yeah, that's quite possible too, yeah. But didn't you just say he's job is to write adventure stories? So he's job is to make fun, shit up.

Yeah, exactly. But he also wouldn't really want to get, if he is wanted for war crimes, he probably doesn't want to put his name down on, you know, well-circulated prose. He seems to not give too much of a shit about that. To be completely honest. In 1910, I mean, this isn't like super relevant,

but it's just, I guess, worth mentioning. He married an American woman called Alice Wartley, though the marriage would end in divorce eight years later. Hey, it is pretty good, Ron. Not bad. Not bad. Another one of the reasons people suggest his topic is because like a Wartog, like a ball. Okay. Aluminati confirmed. Another one of the reasons people suggest this topic is because of a weird thing that happened around this time. The US was going through a serious meat shortage.

So in 1910, the new food supply society was founded by Congressman Robert Broussard to import African wildlife into the US as a solution. The Congressman introduced the American hippo bill to import hippos into Louisiana as a new food source. This sounds... This plan was... It's bonkers. It's bonkers, but it was backed up by like so many people were on board with it.

Teddy Roosevelt, the US Department of Agriculture and the media, the New York Times praised the taste of hippo as Lake Cow Bacon. That sounds pretty good. Lake Cow Bacon. Lake Cow Bacon. That's funny. Dave, would you be into eating some Lake Cow Bacon? Yeah, it sounds like someone had the dictionary open.

Okay, what's something else for like a swamp? Lake, okay. Dave, that sounds like an improv troop. They've asked the suggestion. That's what we got. Lake, yep. Cow, okay. Bacon, uh-huh.

Let's see what we can do here. I mean, it sounds like us trying to do the Patreon reads at the end of an episode. We'll do one word each. we'll do one word each. So they brought Fritz on as an expert, given his expertise in hunting experience. Exactly. The bell ended up falling through, but Fritz became Teddy Roosevelt's personal shooting instructor and accompanied him on hunting expeditions. This guy said such a a weird life. That is so honest. It's a quote. It's a quote. It's a quote. It's a quote. It's a quote. It's a quote. It's a quote.

Yeah, and this is a quote from Wiki. It says, he published several newspaper articles on Roosevelt's hunting trip to Africa. Safari, big game hunting in general, and the heroic accomplishments of white peoples in Africa. Okay. Yep.

By December 1913, Fritz was a naturalised American citizen, which was great news because the First World War started six months later. Naturally as a proud American now, he became a German spy. What? He hated the British. Right. So obviously his main motivation was fucking them over. He was sent to Brazil as, get this name. This is an alias.

Frederick, Fredrick's. Oh, that's good. That raised any suspicious stuff? So bad that no one would question it because who would in their right mind would come up with that? Exactly. It does feel like we're going to know

you've come up with on the spot. You will put up a better spot. Yeah, and you've seen two guys called Frederick. Yeah, even like they say that it's a, and sure sign of a fake name if there's a iteration, just the same letter twice. You go the full same name twice. It's, yeah, that's, that's alarm bells.

Absolutely. And he was, so Frederick, Frederick's was there under the disguise of doing scientific research on rubber plants. Wait, like, like, like, plants? Or it could be the plant, rubber plant, hard to say. The plant, rubber plant.

Well, I mean, it could be the plant, rubber plant. There's a plant called the rubber plant. No, that's why you get rubber. What? Rubber plant. All of this, I mean, I don't know if you guys are fuck with me or what, but. No, this, I mean, rubber plants are know if you guys are fuck with me or what. No, there's, I mean, rubber plants are a real type of plant.

I know, Robert plans. Oh my God. So he is credited with sinking 22 ships by planting time bombs disguised as cases of mineral samples on British ships. Planting. Planting. What are you doing? Plants over some you doing? What are you doing here? Plants over some.

Yeah, what are you doing here? Oh, I'm just inspecting the plans. They're like, oh, okay. All right. Carry on, sir. Great. I mean, why would someone lie about that? It's just so dumb.

Yeah. So you can see it. So it's a bit more than a respectable name, like Frederick. Frederick's. He's disguising them as cases of mineral samples. And yeah, after bombing the Tennyson, M.I.5, operating in Brazil, arrested and accomplished, named Bauer, who identified Fritz as the perpetrator

and the ringleader and gave them other aliases that Fritz was operating under, including George Fordham and Peeett Nierkud, which is Duucane backwards. Oh, that's better. I'd be Snickrup. Pretty cool. Or I'd be Eckenroar.

How are you guys doing it so quick? Have you not known that? I just had that locked and loaded. Try to win. It's pretty good. That almost sounds like it's real. I mean, bit better than Snickrup, yeah. That's, that's kind of sounds delicious. Yeah, it does. It sounds like it's real. I mean, be better than sneaker up here. Yeah. That's kind of sounds delicious. Yeah, it does. It sounds like a little trait.

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You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time mycomputercareer.edu. So with his cover blown, he fled to Argentina and several weeks later placed an article in a newspaper reporting his own death in Bolivia at the hands of Amazonian natives. You reported his own death. Who, who two? death in Bolivia at the hands of Amazonian natives.

You reported his own death. Who, who two? That's the world. You're gonna story about it. Signed off me, the guy who died. Oh no. It was all true. Oh, dear. It was all the dream.

I mean, oh no. Somehow he managed to evade a My Five and returned to New York in early to mid-1916 and using the aliases George Fordham and Frederick Fredrick's he taken out insurance policies for the cargo he shipped and he now filed claims for the films and mineral samples lost with the ships that he sank off the coast of Brazil including the British steamship, Tennyson. So he's taken out insurance policies on the stuff

that he's pretending to ship and then blowing up the boat and then claiming me to ship. That's a sweet grin. Well, things seemed pretty fishy and the insurance companies were reluctant to pay and began their own investigations, which would go on for about a year

they would look into it. Classic insurance companies always drag in their fate when you're trying to rip them off through fraud. Take that a bit, a lot of time. Is MIFI bond? Yeah. No, it's MIFI six, isn't it? He's MIFI six, yeah.

MIFI six, this is MIFI. Even more supportive. Wow. While they were investigating Fritz had word from German intelligence that he was needed in Europe. So, off he goes. And in Scotland, he posed as Russian juk, Boris Zakrefsky, and he boarded HMS Hampshire with field marshal Kitchener, the man who had ordered the destruction of his family's

farm and who he had vowed to kill. No, and what's the case? And they're just bored of what together? The HMS hampsh. Wow. Is this not being made in a film? This feels like a film. It's like, if I was watching this film, I'm like, a bit far-fetched.

I'm not believing this. Dullaback a bit far-fetched. I'm not believing this. Doll, doll about a bit. I can't remember which movie it is that they said was like pretty loosely based on his life. Oh, what was it? But it has. It has. It has the way to the house on 92nd Street. Right. I mean, that's an old film anyway, but it's said to be loosely based on him. But I don't think there's super recent ones.

I think I might, I might, by the right, I might option this. Okay. Okay, great. Maybe stupid old comic. Can I play, can I play Fritz Duquan? I love, I think Boris is my, it's like the Russian Gary, who Greg or Greg it's right up. Yeah, Boris is good. The name Boris Greg Gary there my top three are him so they're on he's on a ship With the man that he has vowed to kill so his whole life is led up to this moment basically. Yeah. Yeah

So once on board Fritz signaled a German submarine So once on board, Fritz signaled a German submarine and shortly before 7.30pm, Hampshire struck a mine laid by the newly launched German U-boat U-75. So the submarine that he'd signaled. Hampshire sank, taking all but 12 survivors. I think over 700 people died. Kitchener was not one of the survivors. So he got him?

Got him. Did he get himself? The news of Kitchener's death was received with shock all over the British Empire. People saw it as basically meaning the war was lost. Fritz, on the other hand, made his own escape using a life raft before the ship was torpedoed and he was rescued by the submarine.

So he... No way. Yeah. So he had a way. Yeah. Wow. It's crazy. He got picked up by a sub. So many people die in wars, isn't that wild? In insane amount of people who do not deserve to die, yeah.

I mean, I don't think there's many people who do deserve to die, but you know. Cats out of the bag. It's like heaps of civilians. When heaps of civilians die, you're like, oh, this is fast. Yes. It's pretty clear you think some people deserve to die.

And I think it's our right to ask you to listen right now. It's our yeses of the life. It's our yeses of the life. Come on, shall we? That's true. Cool. Right. Well, if we want to just take a moment to think about a list,

I don't have to jump straight into this, Jess. End of list. Thank God for that. Jess, you need to maybe you need to revise this list. Let's have a, let's not put the list out. You get yourself put on the list two times now, mate. Now you definitely, you can't get double killed. You can't get double killed. Jess. Can't you, Matt? You want to find out? Well, actually, having recently heard Dave's, that he wrote when he was 12 years old, which was a recent do-go-on bonus episode.

Yeah, maybe I don't want to give too much away, but maybe you can be killed twice. Two homicides, one victim. That was the title of, that's good shit. My self-published novel, so thank you so much. So Fritz returned once again to the US, but now he's stories of great white hunters and African safaris no longer fascinated

the American public. And when he returned to New York, he was dropped from the lecture circuit. So he needed new material and he reinvented himself and pretended to be an allied war hero, Captain Claude Stofft Storten, Stochtun Stofft and Stofft. Wow, that's a long name.

Is that the... Yeah, was that the full name for Baden? Did you look that up? Stofft and Stofft and Stofft and Stofft and Stofft and Stofft and Stofft and Stofft. Captain Claude Stofft and of the Western Australian Light Horse Regiment. Oh, really he was an Aussie. Yeah, a man who claimed to have seen more war than any man at present and claimed to have been bayonetted three times, gassed four times and stuck once with a hook.

Okay, that is created this character. That sounds like a great character. Yeah. And he appeared before many audiences as Captain Claude telling the more stories. There's a historian called John Muallem, who explains Captain Claude's career took off. His talks made decent money, his heroism earned him respect, and the ladies found him alluring. Tell us again how you hit with a hook. Can we see the scars?

No. No. But eventually the insurance investigation caught up with him. He was arrested in New York on 17th November, 1917, on charges of fraud. He had in his position some pretty damning evidence too. A large file of newscippings relating to the bombing of ships, a letter from the Assistant German Vice Consul saying that Fritz was one was one who had rendered considerable service to the German.

Oh my God. He's keeping this on his person. Yeah, he buried the gold, but he kept all the evidence of his crimes on him. But also this isn't necessarily the crimes that the Americans wanting for. They want him for insurance fraud, but the British want him for murder on the high seas, arson, faking documents and conspiring against the crowd. I've resting zone for fraud and then funny that they just last week sank a ship with 700 people on board.

You'd be like, this is way above my pay, right? Yeah, I don't know what to do here to be honest. I'm just a get-fought. I'm a pencil pusher. This isn't my jurisdiction. So the American authorities agreed that they would extradite Fritz to Britain if the British sent him back afterwards to service sentence for fraud. I mean, is he coming back after that? Who knows? After you've completed your 800 years in prison, you better come back here to save six months. While awaiting extradition to Britain on murder charges, Fritz pretended to be paralyzed. Oh, like a like that though.

Yes. Playing in wait. He was sent to the prison ward at Bellevue Hospital on May 25, 1919, after nearly two years of feigning paralysis. No. Yes, he just faked. So you just have to shit himself for two years. Sure.

I don't know if paralysis is a phrase. He did, it's not diarrhea. Are you confusing diarrhea for paralysis? No, I'm talking about, you'd have to be like, oh no, I can't move. I can't move for two years. So you just have to sit there or oh no, I can't move. I can't move for two years. So you just have to sit there or lie there, pretending you can't move.

I believe it was sort of like, like, oh my fingers, I've got my fingers gone to see. I think it was like legs. He needed to, he would say you had to walk with a cane. Oh, to be fair, I was imagining full presence. I was like, you lying there being like, oh no, I can't move. No, I don't think you had to, no, Dave, you weren't thinking that. You were just thinking this guy had to shoot himself.. No, I don't think you had to. No, Dave, you weren't thinking that.

You were just thinking this guy had to shoot himself. You went to the other way to shoot yourself, Dave. The only way to convince people that you're truly paralyzed is to shoot it. It's huge. So for two straight years, and then they start taking you pretty serious. But they're not watching you 24 hours either, right?

He might be like, actually. They'd have to shit at some point. Yeah, and at that time, you do. So that's when you shit. It's like when you have a newborn baby. And then they start to go, people say, how does this guy never need to do shit? Yeah, or in the middle of the night that is here, the toilet flush and they run down there and he's just lying there.

He's like, I don't know what happened. He's like, that was weird. Did you hear that? Did you hear that? It goes to shit in my room. So two years of feigning paralysis and just days before his ex-tradition, he disguised himself as a woman and escaped by cutting the bars of his cell and climbing over the barrier walls to freedom.

Okay, so he didn't have to be paralyzed at all. I don't know what he cut the bars with. And we had that the whole time. The costume come. No, he didn't have to pretend to be paralyzed. Why was he dressing up if he was escaping through bars? It's like someone's cutting through those bars. I know hang on, it's a woman. Off you go, no woman. Women are allowed

to do that. That's fine. That's only like he shared himself every day for two years for no reason. Once again Dave, that is something you have projected onto Fritz. Don't project shitting Dave. I also write my own adventure stories. For example, two homicides, one victim. So he's 42 at this point, too, by the way. He's just escaped from prison. Over the next few years, he spent time in Mexico and various places in Europe before coming back to New York in 1926

and taking yet another fake name. Frank de Trafford Craven. A poo de Beaumarsche. Yet another fake name, Frank detraffered Craven. A poo de Beaumarsche. It's not bad. And he just started working in publicity. He worked for various film companies over many years. And in May of 1932, police arrested 55-year-old Fritz.

And he was interrogated and beaten by police and charged with murder on the high seas. Fritz claimed it's mistaken identity. My name's Craven. I think you got the wrong guy. Conveniently, a biography had just been written about Fritz by author Clement Wood, so police asked his author to come in and identify the man. Clement said, this isn't Fritz to come, this is Major Craven, a man I've known for years.

So he covers for him. Wow. Police don't believe him though, and they bring in Agent Thomas J. Toney, who had arrested Fritz back in 1917, and he positively ID him. However, Britain declined to pursue his war crimes, noting that the statute of limitations had expired, and the judge threw out the only remaining charge, which was escaped from prison, and he just released him. So war crimes, the statute of limitations, is like about six days. I mean, this is a while later, but that's crazy.

He was a farmer for a couple of, no, two years or so. Yeah, so he got, he escaped prison in 1919. Now we're talking in 1932. Oh, right, okay. So it's a bit of time. So it's a while later. Admiral Wilhelm Canaris, who was the head of Germany's division of military intelligence, knew of Fritz Ducain

from his work in World War I. And he instructed his new chief of operations in the US, Colonel Nicholas Ritter, to make contact with Fritz. He's like, this guy could be handy for us. The two had actually known each other a few years earlier and reconnected in New York in December of 1937. Ritter employed several other successful agents across the US, but he also made the mistake of recruiting a man who would later become a double agent, William C. Bold. On the 8th of February, 1940, Ritter sent C. Bold to New York under the alias of Harry Sawyer

and instructed him to set up a shortwave radio transmitting station to establish contact with the German shortwave station abroad. Once the FBI discovered through sea bold that Fritz Du Cane was again in New York operating as a German spy, director J. Edgar Hoover provided a background briefing to President Franklin Roosevelt. So it's just crazy that all these big, such powerful people are talking about this one guy. They're like, oh, fuck, Fritz Ducaines around again. So FBI agents, there was one FBI agent who used a fake name, Ray McManus, was now assigned to Fritz and he rented a room immediately above Fritz's apartment near Central Park and

used a hidden microphone to record all of Fritz's conversations. But tracking a spy isn't very easy. As the FBI agent described it, he said, the Duke, they called him the Duke, had been a spy for all of his life and automatically used all the tricks in the book to avoid anyone following him. He'd take a local train, change to an express, change back to local, go through a revolving door and keep going on right around. He'd take an elevator up a floor. He constantly knows every revolving door in the city. Yeah, he's like, I can always find one.

He'd take an elevator up a floor, get off, walk back to the ground, take it off in a different, take off in a different entrance to the building. So he was already kind of without knowing fully yet that he was being tracked, he was always acting as if he was. What a nightmare way to travel. Yeah, big, exhausting, wouldn't it? Just like to get to the shops, it would take you 11 hours. Yeah, I just need milk.

Seven revolving doors later, I'm at the milk bar. So in June of 1941, following a two-year investigation, the FBI arrested Fritz DeKaine and 32 German spies on charges of relaying secret information on US weaponry and shipping movements to Germany. It's crazy. So that's June of 1941. January 1942, less than a month after the US was attacked by Japan at Pearl Harbor and Germany declared war of the United States. The 33 members of the Duquesne spy ring were sentenced to serve a total of more than 300 years in prison.

Wow. It's huge. Historian Peter Duffy said, still to this day, it's the largest espionage case in the history of the United States. So there's a whole big thing, like you could look into that in a lot more detail, but yeah, he was a spy for several years working out of the US. And 64-year-old Fritz Jacaine did not escape this time. He was sentenced to 18 years in prison.

In 1954, he was released, owing to ill health, having served 14 years. His last known lecture was in 1954, the Adventurer's Club of New York, titled My Life in and out of prison. He gets out of jail and goes and does a lecture, just baffling. Yeah, I guess he's going to make cash. Yeah, you're right. And Fritz DuCane, all good things must come to an end. No Died at city hospital of Roosevelt Island in New York City on the 24th of May At the age of 78 years old. So did he say he didn't see that is 300 year prison sentence? What a coward. That was collectively got all of them

But yeah, he didn't so take one for the team there and do all 300. So a little bit disappointing there, but yeah, it's a pretty insane life. And he really packed a lot into 78 years. Yeah, that's absolutely crazy. And he traveled all over. And he did, sounds like he did bad shit everywhere.

Yeah, exactly right. Definitely wasn't a good person, but you know, an interesting life and a tenuous link to World War One. Wasn't that tenuous? He was an active soldier and it wasn't he? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true, yeah.

But yeah, a baffling story, a lot happening there, hard to sort of capture it all without... And how much do you reckon it's true? Like it sounds like he just did a lot of bullshitting, a lot of aliases, all that sort of stuff. It's really hard to say, right? It is kind of hard to say. I mean, the bulk of what I've talked about today,

I think can be backed up by things. It's more like some of the smaller details of what he was doing at certain times like maybe the bit with their gold Could have been a bit bullshit or when he was a journalist in New York. Maybe some of that was a bit Embellish Yeah, so yeah, who knows it is awesome to think that that one of the greatest spies of the 20th century came out with the name Frederick, Frederickson. I know.

There's hope for all of us. But also Boris. It's like Boris. Something that was pretty good. Boris, yeah. And he got his man. So even if that definitely happened that that field martial was a board that shoot that went down.

So that was in World War One, right? And then he also played the, he made up an alias of an Australian World War One soldier and dined out on that. So he was like connected to World War One all over the shop sort of. And World War Two and, yeah, obviously the second ball war, yeah. I looked that up that while you were on it,

was the British were on the other side, which was pretty clear when Kitchener came. Yeah, yeah. So he really hated the British. And look, I kind of understand why, because obviously your family were killed and everything, everything you owned was destroyed. But yeah, an interesting way to deal with your grief.

You know? That's not what you would do. But I'm... Get the Germans to bomb, to blow up the ship that I was on, taking down 700 other people. You know what? It's hard to say though, isn't it? It's hard to say what you would do in a moment. It's a hypothetical.

So it is hard to say. It's hard to say. It's hard to say. I'd say not a great position that he was in. No, no. Wouldn't want to be in that position. But that does bring us to the end of the report part of the show. That's going to be one of the wildest stories of one person's life that we've ever done. Just so many different things. It's going of gets to a point where you're like, okay, and so this will be the end. And then it's like nah, he was a spy in the Second World War as well.

It's just baffling. So I felt like I kind of brushed over the last little part of his life a little bit there, but he just packed so much in. It was hard to sort of capture everything. So, you know, I'd better to have a little bit of everything, I would say. Yeah, I think this just seems like, you know, short, bad guy in some ways, but also just

a real go getter. Couldn't not agree more. I couldn't not agree more. It was out there. He was getting things done. You know, whatever you think of the Germans in the Second World War and how he was a spy for the Nazis, you could argue. Whatever you think about the Nazis, you know, put that aside for a sec. Put that to one side. This guy was a go-getter. He had moccasy. You got to give him that. Yeah, and many different names. Hmm. Frederick Frederick's obviously being the best one. That's the best second

best Boris whatever. He added there were a lot of great names in this story and a lot of surnames that I've never heard before. Which I enjoy. Yeah exactly. I think he made most of them up. I did but I'm just. I just don't know what of this story he made up, what of its real and what of'm just making up. I don't know what of this story he made up, what of its real and what of its just made up. Yeah. Is this not a fictional podcast? What's not meant to be?

I think we normally say it's a fact-based comedy podcast. Oh, we need to go back and delete all of my reports. And then he found a unicorn. All right, they always find a unicorn. We're the Jess Keeps finding these unicorns toys from history, but anyway. So I think, Jess, if that's the end of the report, that brings us to everyone's favourite section in the show, the Fact Quotal Question section. I think it has a little jingle to go something like this.

Fact Quotal Question. Always remembers the ding. Now the way to get involved in this is to go to dogoonpod.com or patreon.com slash dogoonpod. And you can support us on many different levels there, but the one to get involved with, if you wanna get involved in the fact-quote or question section is the Sydney Shandurg Dwight's Memorial Rest in Peace edition level. Now, once you do that, you get to give us a fact-a-quote or a question,

and you also get to give us a title. There's heaps of other levels. Some of them mean you can get multiple bonus episodes each month, the most recent of which we sort of alluded to during the episode where Dave found a book he wrote in 2000 or 2002. That's right when I was just 12 years old but a boy. But a boy and it was a pyro style murder mystery novel and yeah he reads it or just Dave and I take turns reading the chapters, the four chapter book. And it was a great fun time. A lot of the supporters who have already heard it have said it's one of their favourite bonus episodes of Don, which is cool. Anyhow, so you can get involved in

all sorts of stuff on there. But for the fact, quote-unquote, question section, let's kick it off this week with the first ones that comes from, speaking of great name, Vincienzo Giovanni Bonadonna, who's... Every time. That is like butter melding in my past of field years. Yes. So, it's... You passed right away. That makes a lot of sense to me, Dave.

No explanation required. Vinnie's given himself the title of the gay hand and he's offered us a fact and the fact is, not so fun fact about the Tuskegee, oh no, this is a, is this a, oh no. This is something that we've mispronounced on a more corrective us and I'm like,

Tuskegee. Tuskegee. Tuskegee. Not so fun fact about the Tuskegee experiments. people corrected us and I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I really appreciate it, but it's possibly a word I'll never say again. And then I should have paid more attention. Not so fun fact about the Tuskegee experiments. What originally began as a six month study known as Tuskegee study of untreated syphilis in the Negro male turned into 40 years of what some might call an unethical approach to medical studies, including things such as uninformed consent and misleading information towards test subjects, not giving test subjects up to date treatments such as penicillin and a wide variety of shady things.

Luckily, settlements have been made and millions have been given to the families. Also, a part of these settlements, the US, ensured to give lifetime medical benefits to surviving subjects and their families. At least there's a silver lining. Thank you guys always for the great content. Keep it up. Bloody hell, Vinnie, that is, that's fucked. With that count as a grim fact, Matt?

That is a grim fact, yes. I think that is, we get one occasionally and that is a record that's definitely a grim fact. Thank you for sending that out way. And it originally came out because it was a Lionel Richie album title. Oh, that's right. And in a bonus episode you did about a music quiz.

Yeah, that's right. I just said we were playing for an album tonight. And I said, it's Lionel Richies. And I think Matt asked which one, and I just looked up the most recent one. And we missed for an hour, we apologize. Thank you, Vinny. The next fat quarter question comes from David Loring, just given himself the title of, oh Jesus, this is a long title. I don't read this, I read them. And sometimes it gets me

in trouble. Here we go. Your dad and he's disappointed that you've spent all day hung over and bare it again because your mother worked really hard on your roast for lunch and your sisters At a very impressionable age and we know you're an adult and capable of making your own decisions But we want you to think about how that looks to the people around you a little more But having said that if you're feeling better now we're about to play some Pluto and you're more than welcome to join What a title David Loring. David's offer to do. David's offer to do. David's offer to do a fact and that is Beethoven's fifth symphony is the one that opens with

the very dramatic da da da da notes. If you convert that into Morse code, dot dot dot dash, it's the letter V, which is the Roman numeral for five. Also, the last fact I submitted was Morse code base two, and that's coincidental. I'm not secretly working for Big Morse. Thank you for clarifying, because I definitely would have thought Big Morse was in our case again. We were all pretty worried about it. I went straight to big morse. Oh, here we go, big morse again. Thank you very much, David Lauren. That's a great fact. Assuming it's true.

And the next one comes. Nathan, Nathan Damon, who's given himself the title of Officer in Charge of Rest and Revexation, Nathan and Paul. Oh, man, where have you been the last few months? God. Nathan is also offered as a fact. mate, where have you been the last few months? Oh gosh. Nathan is also offered as a fact. That's three facts in a row this week.

This one is the Venus flytrap is native to Hampstead, or Hampstead, North Carolina. A quick fact about North Carolina. They have a blue flytrap. This is a stitch up for sure. Oh yeah. Nathan goes on to say today, you can find the plant throughout North Carolina and South Carolina.

Unfortunately, the Venus fly trap is now an endangered plant due to the shrinking habitat and poaches. Huh, that's a fun fact. I never thought of the Venus fly trap. It feels like it's been invented by science, but yeah, it just nature did that. This, I think that's so cool. And also for you, it's so cool. I had one as a kid. Yeah, I thought it was, I always felt bad when they got a fly. What a, yeah, it cools this planet. It actually eats things, and then I'm saying this fly slowly, I'm like, ah, so you started feeding it like it will actually eats things and then I'm saying this fly slowly down like ah so you start feeding it like batteries and Lego yeah I was feeding it lentils okay this

final one this week comes from Drew Forsberg and Drew is giving himself a title, American Liaison, Ministry for Ossification of Long Words. Okay. A Drew Fawzberg has a question to finish with this week, and his question is, what's your favorite cold play song? Manda Scientist. Good question. Jesus, I have to look up some of their songs. I reckon it's, it's off that album. They had a, I've been told you that they played at a festival at one time and I was like feeling a bit too cool for them and then like mid-set.

I was there with my sister and she looked at me like, so you didn't like them and I'm hands up in the air. Really feeling it. Yeah. I think they're just one of those bands that are sort of like people shit on. They're just an easy band to shit on, but. Yeah, I really like them. I listen to their rush of blood to the head,

which I think is what the scientists is off. I listen to it a lot at uni. I just listen to it overnight as I'm writing my last minute assignments. God put a smile on your face, that's a song, it's probably my favorite song of theirs, or I can. I really like the song, Violet Hill, Viva La Vida. One where they had those sort of French style uniforms. Yeah, the sort of the marching beat kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, I really like sort of the marching beat kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, really like the whole album. I like Viva Lebeda. I like Fix You, I think, a classic.

Yeah, there are an easy band to shoot on, but I do quite like them. Yeah, like I've seen them live. It was like one of the, it was the best concert I've seen live. It was all we've all seen Colpy live. So there you go. I guess that's one of the things I think they're just they're such a big band and they're a little bit a little bit beige. I think it's what gets people to hate on them. They're like, yeah, they've got broad appeal. And people hate it when cool people hate anybody create something, yeah, exactly. Popular, but yeah, I mean, they reinvent themselves quite a bit, but it's always popular. So I don't really see, yeah, they're doing something right, aren't they? Yeah. But anyway, the question

was really asked for that joke, which is very funny. People who don't get the reference, Shane Warren, Australian Cricketer, the Sheik of Twig, the King of Spin, he had a talk show for some reason, which your cancel pretty quickly, but on the first episode he had the singer from Coldplay, his name is Scopesbee. Chris Martin. Chris Martin. And he asked Chris Martin, singer of Coldplay, the question, what's your favorite Coldplay

song? But before I could answer, he shamed Warren, got straight in, he said, what's your favorite Coldplay song? One's a scientist, very fun. And it's about Australian comedian or Australian New Zealand comedian Tony Martin clipped that out and he played it on the radio a lot. And it always made me laugh. I'm sure I've said this before somehow, but when I saw Coldplay play they brought out Shane Warn who played Humonger.

Yeah. That's right. And the whole because it was a stadium and you could feel it's all thinking, what the fuck because it was a stadium and you could feel us all thinking, what the fuck is going on? Why are you here? I was wondering if I'm on a car. I went really funny. I went really funny. I went on board with it.

No, especially the section I was in, people just looking into the like, is that Shane Wong? Like out of all the guests, they could bring out to join them. Very funny stuff. That's funny. I feel like I saw a clip. I want to be getting this wrong. Where Michael J. Fox came out and played with Coldplay, but played one of the songs from back to the future

of my making that up. That's probably it doesn't make me hope that's real. All right. Well, that means it's time to thank a few of our other great Patreon supporters. These are the people who keep the show running and we appreciate them so much. Other awards, apart from bonus episodes, you get entry into the Facebook group for supporters and it's a nice little corner of the internet. And what are some of the other things? You get to vote on the topics like Jess's topic tonight was voted on by the listeners. When we do live shows or stream shows, you get our first access to tickets and often at this count.

That's true, yeah, that's right. We should mention that, I guess we got shows coming up with a Melbourne Comedy Festival. The first lot of tickets sold out really quickly and then the venue let us know we're allowed to increase the capacity. So there are still tickets available. I think maybe even for all shows at the moment, but they're moving, those units are moving. So if you are, I can't get involved. They'll be a link in the show notes.

I'm also doing a stand-up show called Nostalgia Was Better When I Was Boy and it's on at the Victoria Hotel in the Acacia room I think it's called and Yeah, there should be a link to that in the show notes as well. Use the discount code do go on What does that talk about? Oh, yeah, so we normally think a few of our other patrons supporters here Just when it comes up with a little game. It's based on the topic. What do you reckon? Yeah, it's a bit hard, because I was doing the report today. I didn't have time to think about a game. Super hero nickname or another animal nickname?

Yeah, I think it either an animal or we just give them a fake spy name. Yeah, great. All right, love it. Well, if I may kick it all off, I would love to thank from Spring Creek and Nevada in the United States. Logan Long, that already sounds like a fake name based on what I said before. But your theory is that if you have any illiteration, that's your mind going, oh shit, shit, I'm David Derek. Yeah, I think so.

So then Logan Long is already a spy name. So let's change that for him to a more inconspicuous spy name. So his name is Logan Bunderberg. Oh, that's good. Very good. I wouldn't question Logan Bunderberg. Me. Jesse is sipping on a Bunderberg gingerbread now.

Yeah, I'm honestly looking around. In case anyone at home was the next one's going to be Nivea like my lip balm. Logan lamp. Logan iPhone. Logan plasterboard. Logan pan play this game. Yeah, now it's good Logan Bunderburg. So we're just giving a surname. Oh, yeah, love it. All right, great. Logan Bunderburg. Code name LB. I'd also love to thank from State College in Pennsylvania, United States. Gavin Cox. Gavin Cox. What about Gavin Thunderbird Cox? Yes. That's good.

That makes him stand out a little more, I'd say, probably, but. But that's like his spying nickname. Yeah, they call him the Thunderbird. Yeah, after his time. Because he walks kind of funny. Like a Marionette. Like he's a Marionette. That's how he throws them off guard.

And his enemies are like, Oh, do you need a hint? And then he goes, whoosh, kills him. I'm sorry Sarah, you a marry a net's bam. Bam. That's great, great work, kind of a bit of cops. Yeah. And finally, I'd love to thank from Brentwood in England,

Will Hudson. Will? I mean, that's a good inconspicuous name, isn't it? Will Hudson. Yeah, what about the river Hudson? Oh, that's good, that's good, yes. He's got, he's got flow. That's very good. And he's also got a Bruce Springsteen song and album, which is whenever he enters the room on the speaking circuit after he's crazed over, the river plays. And the crowd goes wild.

That's good. Closing song by bear river. Perfect. Live version from Bucking Spiders Live 1983. Oh, obviously. Is that the only version? Obviously. Do you want to thank a few Bobbarr? Yes. I would love to thank from Longwood in Florida, only one name given here, which is mysterious in itself. I would love to thank burrows. Oh, burrows. That is mysterious. Code name, Tarzan.

Oh, it's great. It's great. It's great. I was thinking the bunny, but yeah, I like burrows even better. Yeah. Tarzan. Tarzan, that's good.

Yeah, that's good. That's very good. That's very good. I'm already mysterious about this. This is perfect for that. I mean Tarzan, but I don't know who you are or what you did as long as you love us. And he calls his rifle. What's one of the other characters from Tarzan? Does he have a pet or something? Cheetah. And his and his rifle is called Cheetah. Oh, that's so cool. a pet or something? Cheetah. And his rifle's called Cheetah. Oh, that's so cool. It's like the death Cheetah. Cool. Yeah, you'll like that a lot. Secondly, I would love to thank from Dublin, in Ireland, I would love to thank Cathill Grant.

I'm going to call him the banana boy. Banana boy grant. Yes, love that. Love that. There is a there is some bananas in front of you. Perfect. Baby banana boy. See, it's an obvious fake name, but I guess I think it works. And it does work.

Banana boy, because he's got real high potassium, like almost inhuman levels of potassium. It's like dangerously high. Dangerously high. Normally people would die with that much potassium in their system. Not catholic. Not catholic, not in this case.

And finally for me, I would love to thank from St. Peter's in M.O. One time in Missouri. I was gonna say Missouri. You think it would be one time. I'd love to thank. Maybe not. It's Missouri. Sarah Sheel. Sarah Sheel from Missouri. Sarah Sheel the eel. Sook for eel, can't catch her. Yeah, perfect.

Yeah, perfect. Slippery Sarah, the eel. They keep thinking they've got her and she just keeps getting away and no one knows how. Damn it, the eel's done it again. Damn you eel. Fantastic. Thank you so much. Sarah Sheel, the eel. I would like to now thank from Houston in Texas, Eli Fisher. Ah, the rocket. Oh, Eli, the rocket Fisher. I like that. Houston, we don't have a problem because Eli is on the case.

Oh, right. There's no problems when Eli's involved. I like it a lot. Eli, the rocket fisher. I would also like to thank, coming over to Great Britain, from Holm Firth and West Yorkshire. This is many beautiful names put together.

Callum, James Burgess Wiley. The Terrier. Oh yeah, the Wiley Terrier. That's a send in the Terrier. Yeah. Callum James Burgess Wiley, the Terrier. This is a job foriley Terrier. That's a so good. Send in the Terrier. Yeah. Alan James, bird is the Wiley Terrier. This is a job for the Terrier. And then Kalam arrives and he's only five foot tall

and everyone's like, oh, what's the problem? And then, you know, five minutes later, there's 36 foot four guys knocked out in the last man standing. Yeah. Very happy. Yeah. And gets the job done. Yeah. Yeah. Very happy. Yeah. Yeah. And gets the job done. Yeah. Am I going to get paid for this? Oh, what? All right, Kellan. I'd love to think. Kill him. Kill him. Kill him.

I like to think finally from South Australia in Morse and Lakes, in morson lakes, what to think? Amanda Mullins. Amanda Mullins. The thinker. Oh, I love it. I love it. She's mullin' it over. Brilliant.

No, see what you've done there. Amanda, the thinker. Send in the thinker. Is that a pun? No. Or maybe? I don't know anymore. I don't know. I don't know.

I feel like it could be. I wouldn't be surprised one more of the other would be honest. I'm out of goes. These wondering, I'm not gonna get paid for this or what. So, they've all been hired by a very crooked person who has not paid anyone. I'm sorry to everyone on the list today, but none of you have been paid yet.

We will speak to Eric Kenton. We're regrettable. speak to Eric Kenton. We're regrettable. We'll speak to Eric Kenton. One and all, like I say, without these people, this show doesn't exist. So thank you one more time too, Amanda. Calum, Eli, Sarah, Cattle, Burrows, Will, Gavin, and Logan.

The other thing we like to do just to finish up is welcome in a few people into the trip ditch club. The way that you can get involved here is being on the shout out level or above for three straight years and then you get welcomed into the trip ditch club and inside the club. It's a beautiful place. It's basically your happy place and our happy club. It's a beautiful place. It's basically your happy place and our happy place. Everyone's happy place. It's a big old club.

I'm standing at the door with a velvet rope and the door list. Dave is inside, he's booked the band, but he also harps you up as you come in. So if you are, for instance, feeling a little down, even though you're way into this exclusive club, Dave will pick you back up. And then Jess, who's also looked after the old herbs and the cocktails she also then hearts up Dave. So Jess, firstly, what have we got on the menu tonight?

This week we have apparel fritz. Is that a poem? Yes it is. Yes it is. And German sausages. Fritz and food. They don't go that well together but it also just kind of works somehow you know. But that's what you got. So good. And Dave, who have you booked for the band? We have booked tonight, hitting 10 a stage. We've got no doubt. Oh!

When's the finding the boys are back together? Having just spoken at length about Coldplay, why would I have thought you would have gone down that direction? Yeah, I thought he would too, but he loves to zig when we think he's going to zig. That's right. I will tell you that Shane Warn will be accompanying them on harmonica as requested. And he knows all the songs don't speak.

a couple of inductees this week. Thank God. So the first one got in contact with me because I'd let her slip through the gap. She's actually should have been inducted about two months ago. So sorry to you, but give her a very warm welcome. Hopefully Dave makes it up to you with a beautiful pump up here. No, I'm not. From the Kenny in Texas, the United States, Elizabeth, all the feather. Oh, feather. Well, let me just say get McKinney. And that's what I mean, any in

the club, skill the club because we've missed you so much. Thank you so much. Jess, hot me up, hot me up. Come on. I didn't even need to, Dave, you're already nailed it, but whoo. Thank you so much, I did not believe that from Jess. Um, I was great to have you in our honesty. Um, I'm just glad you could see Shane Moore on live in the club. Uh, Liz also got a mention at the start of this week's, uh, or last week's Josh El podcast, um, because she came across another Josh El. And, uh, so that was pretty fun. Wild episode of, have you heard that one yet, Dave?

With... No, who was on that one? Greg Larsen, Peter Hellier, your boss. Very good. Was it a very, you know, some wild stories being told? Yes, it was very, it was in front of a live audience. Very funny stuff. All right.

And, you know, made all the sweeter with the Liz reference right up the top. But the other inductee this week comes from Bedourie in Queensland. It's Patrick Tully. Nothing is going to, nothing is going to Tully this night because you are here. Yeah. Tully runs with Sully. Sully is a good thing.

That's a type of pun. That's a bit of a pun. Thank you. Patrick, you're done? Honestly? Anything happens in this club, that means that I can shake your hand like we used to in the old days.

I can even give you a hug and say, come on down. I love it, Dave. That's why they come in the pun master. Because he comes up with such. If that is a pun, and I'm not 100% sure that it was, but great work. So thank you so much to Liz and Patrick for your three plus years of support. It means so much.

You God damn legends. I appreciate that a lot. I really did. And that brings us to the end of this episode. Well, we've had some laughs. We've had some times. And yet, sadly, we have to go for another week. But you can get in contact with us at any time by hitting up doogawonpod.com and following links

to our merchandise, our Patreon. We can suggest a topic, they can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at doogawonpod. And we have an email, it's doogawonpodatgmail.com. But until next week, I'll say thank you so much for listening. And until then, goodbye. Later.

Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts.

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