Two In The Think Tank - 280 - World War One (part two)

Episode Date: March 3, 2021

We continue on from last week's episode about World War One (part one), with World War One (part two)!Get tickets to our live shows this March/April:Prime Mates: https://www.trybooking.com/BPEUIBook Cheat: https://www.trybooking.com/BPEUEMatt Stewart - Nostalgia Was Better When I Was A Boy (discount code 'dogoon): https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2021/shows/nostalgia-was-better-when-i-was-a-boyDo Go On: https://www.trybooking.com/BOMAA Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodMatt’s New Interview Show: ‘Matt Your Heroes’: https://youtu.be/VVsVGkzVNZQBuy tickets to our streamed shows (there are 12 available to watch now! All with exclusive extra sections): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now:

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30 pm, come along, come one, come all and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Peloton is ready when you are.

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You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu Hey everyone, before we get to the thrilling conclusion of World War One, I am here to tell you that we are doing four live shows at the end of March and into April. I'm talking Sunday March 28th, April 4th, April 11th and April 18th at the European beer cafe. I've got to

tell you, they're not the only live podcast that some of us will be doing. That's right, Matt and I have just announced that we will be doing our first ever and possibly only ever live podcasts of our spin-off shows, primates, and book cheat. And they are both happening on Sunday April 4, Matt, you've got some fantastic guest lined up for your 2pm show. Yes, we've got the Dream Team as what the listeners came to call it or did I suck call him that? But the dream team of Evan Munro Smith, classic second banana, Nick Maceau Mason from the weekly planet and Cass Pagey Page from Sans Pants Radio.

Oh, that's a good lineup. Such a good lineup. So it's going to be so much fun. Maceau has already suggested we get guerrilla suits. I'm not sure that's going to happen. He didn't say that that would probably blow the budget. Who cares? Who cares, maybe? If anyone's- Mudge it. That's what I say. Anyone's got an in at a gorilla costume shop. Hit me up. And that's the two o'clock then at 4.15. I'll be doing a live book cheat guest to be confirmed, but we will be wearing costumes made of ham which is a little reference to the tequila mockingbird episode anyway and yeah I'll be

going through a book with some fantastic guests people that you know and love well and yeah you can get tickets to those shows as well as our podcast at 8.30 that same night and in between Matt String and stand-up show so you literally can see four shows of ours basically back to back with a couple of meal breaks in the middle. Oh my god that's either a stand-up show so you literally can see four shows of ours basically back to back with a couple of meal breaks in the middle. Oh my God, that's either a dream or a nightmare, I can't decide. I'm like this on this dream nightmare. Get your hand costumes ready and we'll see you there. Hello and welcome to another episode of Doogawaan My Name is Dave Ortegi and as always

I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. I'm Jess Perkins. Hello, I'm Matt Stewart. Well here more from those couple of lyricans in just a second but beforehand if this is your first time ever listening to this show, I suggest you listen to last week's episode, because this is a part two. But anyway, we take it in turn to report on a topic often suggested by a listener. And it's Matt's turn to report on the topic this week.

Matt, Matt. Oh, no, no, no. We all start with a question, and the answer is World War One. No, I wanted to get the point. Yeah, I need to. Sorry. What is your question? But you'd ask a question.

He'd ask question. You're a man. And I'm not the question. The question is, what is this week's episode part two or? Will a one? Correct. Fuck you, Dave. Honestly, if you're keeping score out there,

which I know one of you is, half a point each? No. I've been asking this thing because they're the judge. We fully leave that up to them. Honestly, if you're keeping score out there, which I know one of you is half a point inch. No, I've been asking this thing because they're the judge. We fully leave that up to them. So whatever they say goes Yeah, we never fact check their scoring. Yeah, that Yes, so this is the part two. That's right. We finished last week with the US entering the war so we got through a lot of stuff last week and entering the war. So we got through a lot of stuff last week and really from what I've read, the US entering was one of the massive turning points of the whole war. And people I asked people for feedback over the last few days since the first episode came out. And I thank you for listening. I did feel that way, but nearly everyone was really positive,

which was nice. I've got a couple of little extra tips, and so I'm going to do a quick backtrack because someone mentioned this. I didn't write their name down, apologies for that, but I thought it was pretty interesting. But anyway, so to start this episode, I'm going to go right back to the start.

In a way, I guess it helps recap how it all kicked off as well. Please tell me, you're just gonna do the whole thing. We're going again, I'm filling in all the gaps I miss. No, but there was just one, quite, I think it was a fun thing. I definitely would have put it in if I knew about it. So it sort of shows how the powerful people right at the center of all of this,

we're trying to stop it from happening right up until it all kicked off. So hours after Austria and Hungary, sorry, declared war on Serbia, Sahr, Nicholas II of Russia, and his cousin, Kha'zah, Wilhelm II, started communicating with each other via telegram. As a side note, the titles and Kha'zah are both directly derived from the Roman Emperor title of Caesar. You know that?

Ah! German listener Lukas Bender, message saying the German word kaiser is a direct descendant from the Latin Caesar, and not only that, the Latin word was probably pronounced just like kaiser, with a hard scene instead of a soft one, so he said, so enjoy your kaiser salads. So kaiser or kaiser? Yeah, so enjoy your kaisa salad. So kaisa or kaisa. Yeah, yeah. Kaisa salad. And then people will say, it's Caesar. You'll say, well, actually, I mean, that person actually had a listener message me about this. Like anytime people

order a bruschetta and you get to go, well, actually, it's sprucekip. Okay. And I love doing that. They're always fact taking me at restaurants. They're like, it's blue skip. Okay. And I love doing that. They're always fact taking me at restaurants, they're like, it's not G, not G. It is not G-not G. Yeah, I'm like, I think you'll find. You'll find. That's how I've always.

Yeah, that's how I've, G-not G. Just like my mom used to me. He also pulled me out, and he did this in a very friendly way. That's why I preach, I haven't said, thanks for being gentle And he said look anyone who's getting upset about

Information here. We're all having good fun. I said I appreciate you're out there. That's a great attitude to have But did you make up a conversation? Hey, it's all up there on the public record check out Twitter dot com But he also mentioned that I did say King a few times for brevity when talking about the russianser and the German Kaiser. And he said, while it's not necessarily wrong, it does sound a little weird to a German, because Germany had many kings back then. There was a king of Bavaria, king of Saxony, a king of all of those different territories.

And the Kaiser was merely the boss king. So, sort of, the king of kings or the Ace of aces. Yeah, right. Okay, should we call him the Ace of aces? It's not necessarily wrong, but it's a bit confused. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, so that was interesting. That was interesting, because there was a lot of kingdoms

and had relatively recently come together. So, also a sars of sars. Yes, a sars of sars. I love boss king, though. Boss king of sars. I love Boss King though. Boss King's pretty. I mean, it's very cute that you're a king, but I'm gonna like the king of kings. Sorry.

So you're gonna need to sit down, okay? I'd have been the king, but you've been like being outranked. Yeah. But I'm the king. I'm the king, aha, that's very cute. And we're very proud of you being a very good king. Now sit down. Sit down and someone's going to chop your head off.

So anyway, let's get back to the telegrams between Nicholas and Wilhelm. So they're cousins, they're both the rulers of these two major players, one on each side of the war. But they're close, they grew up together, they would go away and on sailing vacations and where each other's armies, uniforms and stuff, for fun, I guess, or I don't know. But anyway, so they signed off each other's telegrams with their sort of affectionate nicknames for each other, which you'll hear because I'm going to read some of these out. Coussey Buzzy? So the following breakdown of the correspondence is taken from a Washington post article written by Graham Allison from Harvard's Kennedy School. The exchange began in the very early morning of July 29th, just hours after Austria hungry declared war on Serbia in retaliation for the Ah, Struke, France, Ferdinand in Cereovo, and this is a Norwegian. Time was sure to find a diplomatic solution that would prevent a regional war from becoming a world war.

So this was a telegram from Saar Nicholas. He wrote, and they wrote to each other in English as well because that was a common language and both of their grandmother's was Queen Victoria. Of course, yeah. Of course, yeah. In quote, in this serious moment, I appeal to you to help me. An innoble, ignoble war has been declared to a weak country of Serbia. The inignation in Russia shared fully by me is enormous.

I foresee that very soon I shall be overwhelmed by the pressure forced upon me to be forced to take extreme measures which will lead to war. To try and avoid such a calamity as a European, well I beg you in the name of our old friendship to do what you can to stop your allies from going too far. Nicky. That's what he calls himself. Nicky. Nicky. Cute. It's sort of like you sort of, you see, he's sort of putting on a bit of pressure on the

friendship. Yeah. It's sort of like you sort of, you see, it's sort of putting on a bit of pressure on the friendship, but also like come on, you're not silly enough to be the one that forces, well I know it's not you, but your friends don't make your friends, do this silly war. But even before this telegram arrived in Berlin, Kaiser Wilhelm sent his own message, so they sort of crisscrossed.

And this happened a lot in this conversation, they'd be replying to the last telegram and vice versa. Part of his telegram in the other direction wrote, the person's morally responsible for this darsely murder should receive their deserve punishment. In this case, politics plays no part at all. On the other hand, I fully understand how difficult it is for you and your government

to face the drift of your public opinion Pretty sassy, right? I've got a bit of a... I know it's hard, you know? Well, face... Yeah, it was hardening on popular like you. But then again, you know, I mean, I can't relate. I have to be very clear, I'm not sympathetic.

But empathetic. I'm an empath. An empath, that must be tough. I don't know what it feels like, but itetic. I'm an empath. Empath must be tough. I don't know what it feels like, but it must be hard. Uh-huh, it goes on therefore with regard to the hearty and tender friendship, which binds both of us from long ago with firm ties. I'm exerting my utmost influence to induce the Austrians

to deal straightly to arrive at a satisfactory understanding with you. I confidently hope that you will help me in my efforts to smooth over difficulties that may arise. You're very sincere and devoted friend and cousin. Willie. I'm just hoping you would be able to. Yes.

Willie and Nikki. So these are known as the Willie Nikki Telegraphs. You're very cute. And there was a bunch. I don't know how many of them, just going through them now. They're probably not that interesting. And they'll be a link to read themA-Mole if you want to.

Yeah. Dear listeners, but the point is they're going backwards and forwards, and it gets a little tenser as it goes along. Right. And eventually it's like a war breaks out basically. But it seems like at the start they're very much on the same pace. Yeah, that's right. Like throughout, they're both trying to avoid the war,

but they're not going to be the one. They're sort of neither of them are going to be the classic big a man of going, hey, look, I'm pulling right back because they're in this position where they can't. So there was trouble because the Tsar, I don't know how to say that, but anyway, the Russians were going to take a while to get their army going. And if they didn't get ready knowing that a war might be coming, then they're left way behind and vice versa. But as soon as their army is mobilized, the Germans were like, well, that's sort of like

an act of aggression. We see you setting up. Yeah, yeah. So we've got to be prepared. Yeah. So it was like a bit of a, just like a vicious cycle. Yeah, right, geez.

But yeah, it was kinda sad because it all ended very badly. It would end very badly for both of these guys, as well here. Oh, it is a bit of sizzle there. Can you tell me that over a hundred years later, both of these people are no longer here. Hang on.

Hey, look, I'm not going that far. Dang, what about Queen Victoria? Don't tell me. And oh, so. I'm not going that far. What do I come in Victoria? Don't tell me. And oh so I'm not Queen Vicki. Grandma Vicki. My Vicki it's me. Little Nicki. I'll read one more paragraph from this article by Graham Allison which sort of just showed me how much they knew that no one involved really wanted it to happen. I mean, maybe some of the people involved

in the respective armies did, but so the last bit of correspondence, Germany's ambassador St. Petersburg went in and handed the Russian foreign minister. His name is St. Petersburg. Yeah, sorry, the ambassador to St. Petersburg. Right, sorry. So there's another guy called St. Petersburg. Sorry, the Ambassador to St. Petersburg. Right, sorry. So there's another guy called St. Petersburg.

He's in the ambassador for him. That's right. Sorry, sorry. So we're on report. The ambassador went in, German's ambassador, he's in there in Russia. He handed the Russian Foreign Minister a declaration of war and then burst into tears.

Oh. Isn't that hectic? Like, wow. You see, worried they would shoot the messenger. Well, I don't know. I guess he was obviously, I assume, as the ambassador is probably living there, he probably quite likes being in Germany and being like, I don't know what this happened. Or maybe just knew how fucked up was all about to get.

Yeah. So yeah, the other thing someone, or a few people pointed out was, I think we talked about how Germany went through Belgium, which was neutral, which brought Britain into the war, why didn't they just go around Belgium? But apparently, very well fortified

the German and French border and a lot more mountainous as well whereas Belgium's quite flat so that was kind of the reason. It was a time-saving thing but in the end probably... Probably should have just put on the hiking boots. Yeah. To be fair if there's a bit of a hill I'm like... Fuck it, I've got to go through Belgium. I'm gonna walk up in the hill a bit.

And you also remember the Schleefen plan, they needed to knock over France quickly. So they couldn't afford this extra time. So they thought it was, so the pragmatic decision to go, all right, we're going through a neutral territory. And they were like rolling that I, so Britain would look the other way.

So they'll really hope and they wouldn't. Come, you're probably getting into a war. Something else that I sort of hinted at, but didn't quite go into in the first part, which I thought I'd just run through a little bit. So just because we talk about it as a world war, but really been focusing a lot on the direct European ones.

But I thought let's talk a bit about the British dominions. So obviously there were two sides in the war, just to recap a bit, the Central Powers, which is the Austria-Hungary, Slash, Germany, and their allies side. I think I'm assuming they're called the Central Powers because of their position in Europe. They are the center compared to Russia and France,

and everyone else. So around the side. And then you've got, on the other side, the triple-on-tont of France, Russia, and Britain, and then their allies. And that side is also commonly referred to as the allies. I also went, I want to go back and talk about the consequences of one of the triple ontont, great Britain entering the war because it brought in, instantly brought in their dominions. They declared war on Germany on the 4th of August 1914. That automatically committed the rest of the Empire to war.

And you know, this has been on the back of a few centuries of Britain going around and just stealing land and countries and whatever, you know, colonizing the world. So this meant the West Indies, New Zealand, Australia, British India, Canada, Newfoundland, parts of Africa, including the Union of South Africa are all brought into the world basically without any say at all. Well, the Godfather calling upon you for a favor.

Yeah. Even though the Godfather's already fucked up, you're country-previously. Yeah, wow. Hey, yeah, remember what I did for you? Huh? And then you got to repay the favor. You don't want to.

But that, well, that's the funny thing. So there are over 3 million soldiers and laborers from across the empire and Commonwealth served alongside the British Army in the First World War, called the National Army Museum. And you say you assume that there would be sort of some, they'd be going, I don't want to the National Army Museum. And you say, you assume that there would be sort of some, they'd be going, I don't want to be drawn into this, but according to the New Zealand government history website, quote, Britain could not have anticipated the enthusiasm

with which its empire would embrace the war effort from the outset. And it's stoic commitment as the war dragged on. Nor could the British government have foreseen just how crucial a role some components of the empire, notably India and the Dominions, would play in the British army's battles on the Western Front and elsewhere. And then, so this is from the British National Army Museum website, breaks down some of the the work that different Dominions and countries put in. So here's India. Soldiers from the Indian subcontinent, including India packed it down in Baghdad,

fought in all the major wartime theaters. You don't hear about the Indian soldiers at all, but they put in so many soldiers. Yeah, it's funny. I guess because they're sort of all under the umbrella of the British Empire, you never really hear, apart from in Australia, a talk of Australian.

So, that's what I was just thinking about. I mean, we've heard, we study Australia's involvement a lot in a much more heavy way. So, that's what I was just thinking. I was like, well, yeah, we haven't thought about that, but we just haven't learned about it. Cause we're just, as soon as you sit in Australia, I'm like, oh, there we are.

Yeah. Oh, that's us. We're in Australia right now. It's exciting. But India, they had two infantry, two cavalry divisions arriving in the Western Front by the end of 1914 and eventually 140,000 Mansour service there. In 1915, Indian troops arrived in the Middle East

where they fought against the Ottoman Turks in Palestine and Mesopotamia, now Iraq. That same year, soldiers from the Indian Army fought alongside British, Australian and New Zealand troops on the Glippoli peninsula. Didn't know there were Indian troops involved in Glippoli. I mean, in my head, Glippoli is basically Australia and New Zealand.

Yeah. And then a couple of English guys, sipping on tea and making bad decisions. Yeah, poor thing. Exactly. That's how I was taught it in school. Pretty much. I think that's what all the picture books had.

Yeah. They're having it like a bite of a biscuit. Yeah. And a sub-super tea going, go kill yourselves. Yes. Go over there. Tolly good. Run at. Go over there. Jolly good. Run at those bullets over there, please. Don't know if that's quite accurate.

I think it's pretty good though. It's close if it's not completely accurate. Yeah. The Indians also formed a large portion of the Allied forces occupying former enemy territory in East Africa, the Balkans, Asia Minor, and the Caucasus. That's almost definitely not how you say that. In total, 1.27 million Indians voluntarily served as combatants and laborers. Wow. Huge. Massive.

Yeah. The West Indies, they're around 15,000 West Indians and listed, including 10,000 from Jamaica. Others came from Trident out in Tobago, Barbados, the Bahamas, British Honduras, Belize, Granada, British Guyana, the Leeward Islands, St. Lucian St Vincent. Although a few served in regular British army units, most men in the Caribbean served in the West Indian Regiment, and the British West Indies Regiment, serving in France, Italy, Africa and the Middle East. Again, I mean, I should also say that I don't know much aboutiment, serving in France, Italy, Africa, and the Middle East. Again, I mean, I should also say that I don't know much about the World War in general,

but nearly everything that I've read has been like, whoa, really? Africa, this is still from that same British National Army Museum website I was talking about. African troops play a key role in containing the Germans in East Africa and defeating them in West Africa. Europeans and Indians struggled in the harsh African climate, but the local inhabitants had the skills to survive and prosper, which is hardly surprising. By November 1918, the British Army in East Africa was mainly composed of African soldiers. The units involved were the West African Frontier Force, drawn from Nigeria at the Gold Coast, or our Ghana, and Sierra Leone, not Gold Coast, and Queensland. I was a little bit of a service paradise. Batman went up from movie worlds.

They also had recruits from Kenya, Uganda and Malawi. Uh, at least 180,000 Africans also served in the carrier core in East Africa and provided logistics support to troops at the front. So just, yeah, I'm just amazing numbers. Um, this, I found interesting and I mean, sort of, you know, different time stuff, but a lot of this is, uh, fuck, but, uh, in South interesting and I mean, sort of, you know, different time stuff, but a lot of this is a bit fuck, but in South Africa over 60,000 labors came from South Africa. Black South Africans were restricted to a logistical role because the South African government

feared arming them. Around 25,000 Black South Africans were also recruited to the South African native labor contingent that served on the Western Front in 1916 and 1917 So they're basically yeah amazing so I don't either either the fearing like revolt or Yeah, which I mean said something don't if you if your army is not gonna fight for you. Yeah You've got some other issues to maybe sort out first in You've got some other issues to maybe sort out first.

In 1915 an expeditionary force of 67,000 white South African troops invaded German South West Africa and Namibia. Many of these soldiers laid a fort in East Africa as well. White South African units were also sent to the Western Front on the 14th of July 1916. The first South African brigade entered Delville wood on the 14th of July, 1916. The first South African brigade entered Delveil wood on the psalm after six days of vicious fighting and hellish conditions around only around 750 officers and men remained unharmed. That was out out of about just over 3000. But that's huge numbers. Yeah.

The proportion of down. Yeah, so I don't know if this is how interesting this is. I just sort of be, it's worth giving little snapshots of some of the other. See, right. It is a world war. Yeah. Canada, do you want me to go through a few more? I'll just keep these brief. Canada, following the outbreak of war, Canada raises the Canadian Expeditionary Force for service on the Western Front. From 1915, it fought in most of the major battles, winning renowned at the second battle of Ipros in 1915. On the summer of 1916, Vimy Ridge in 1917, and at Paschendale in 1917. Canadian troops also played a leading role in the victorious 100 days of fancities.

1918's spearheading many of the Allies' caretacks. They lost over 60,000 men killed during the war nearly 10% of the 620,000 Canadians who enlisted. Wow. Newfoundland, I didn't know, I'd never heard of Newfoundland, I knew it but I didn't know where it was, but apparently this is now part of Canada, but only since

1949 at this time it was its own separate space under the British Empire. They fought it glipily as well, but were almost wiped out in battles at Beaumont Hamill and the Somme. And they also fought at Arras and Passchendaal in 1917 and were there at the German Spring Offensive in 1918, Australia Jess, you know, to these guys? Hmm. How many Australians would have been in the world? I was trying to think of that before,

when you're giving numbers from other places, I feel like there was a lot of us us wasn't there? I don't know. As a stab? I mean I wouldn't have, I would have had no idea. You don't have to. It was over 410,000. I was gonna say a million. So 410,000 seems a bit patient. But there's a lot less people living here than that's right. That's true. That's what I would have meant.. It's huge. Yeah. As percentage of really big poor. And also you go to be like, well, kids can't go. Well, in most cases. Yeah.

And you know, really old people can't go. So you're like, oh, that's really a high percentage of anyone that could go. Yeah, that's right. And they're not sending women at that time. Yeah. So it's like, all right. Yeah. Bunkers. You would have been there for short, Dave. Oh no. Oh my god, imagine, Dave, they wouldn't have a uniform small enough. They'd be like, we have this one for a mouse. Don't ask why. The mascot.

Oh, okay. So, 410,000, uh, two, around 200,000 casualties out of that. Whoa! That's terrible. In April 9th, 15 Australians landed at Calipoli in Turkey with trips from New Zealand, Britain, and France. We also heard India before. The following year, Australian forces forwarding campaigns on the Western Front and in the Middle East, where they defended the Suez Canal and helped take Sinai, Sinai.

Later, they advanced into Palestine and helped capture Gaza and Jerusalem. In 1918, the Australians played a leading role in the decisive allied advance on the Western Front, as well. I'm gonna talk a little bit in a sec about a tiny bit more about the Gallipoli campaign, because that's the one that's taught in our schools here.

But I'm only gonna touch on a brief, because I can't feel like I reckon we'll do a full report on it one day. Next week. I think people want and deserve a break from war. Yeah, yeah. People have had to listen to five weeks. I'm gonna find some sort of kooky life out of the story, I think.

For five weeks. Imagine living through four years of it. Yeah. But that's crazy. So we lost almost half the men that went. But when you say cash, that's not always injuries. Yeah. It's dead and injured. Okay. Yeah. That's right. And he's like quite injured. Yeah. It's still fucked, isn't it? So yeah. You have a 50 cent chance of it like altering your body in some way. Was the baby room after the First World War or the Second World War? That would be after the Second World War. Second World War, yeah. And then New Zealand was the last one I'll touch on here. Following the outbreak of war, New Zealand forces helped Australia capture Germany's colonies

in the Pacific. Almost 100,000 New Zealanders also served overseas in the New Zealand expeditionary force, including 2,700 Māori and Pacific Islanders. Around 18,000 New Zealanders gave their lives. This included 2,700 men killed it glipally and over 12,000 soldiers killed on the Western Front. Wow.

So that's like a one in five people aren't coming home at all. Yeah. That's nuts. As was the case with the Australian Canadian comrades, the experience of fighting together away from home helped the New Zealand soldiers forge a distinct national identity. They talk about that a bit with Australia.

Apparently, Gallipoli has been a big part of, you know, that, I guess at least the military identity. I don't know. Yeah, but maybe even just the I. And I'll make a ship. I'll make a ship. You know, that's true. I think a lot of that sort of stuff is drawn from that. And it's also maybe it was sort of like starting to see ourselves as a separate entity from Britain. Yeah. Like, why Australia from just until then had the,

I think it's still that point fought on the flag and like the British flag and God save the Queen was the national anthem. I think even into my dad's life, I think that's the case. I should have looked that up. So I have people not yelling at their iPods. But anyway, let's talk briefly about the Glyphilis campaign. In Australia, New Zealand military history,

like I'm saying, the most well-known campaign of the war was it Glyphilis. With the war remaining settled into a stalemate in Europe on the Western and Eastern France, the Allies attempted to score a victory against the Ottoman Empire. Not going into too much detail, I guess. But basically, the Allies forged a large-scale land invasion that glipically peninsula in Turkey on the

25th of April, 1915. There's still a national holiday in Australia, and I think in New Zealand as well, Anzac Day, Anzac being Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. This followed a failed Navy attack by British and French ships on the Dardanelles Straits in the months prior. So this strip was really important. It's sort of a could link. Basically, it's a little strip that separates Europe from Asia and West and Asia from Southern Europe, but it's also quite an important straight for getting ships through and stuff.

And the Ottoman Empire controlled it basically, I think. So they were trying to get that and that would have really helped the Russians be able to get through for the Russians to the other side. Well explained. I'm so sorry, I can't. You're looking at us almost for help and I can't help. No, I know. I shouldn't. It's like a little back door that they could go up and then like,

right? Little chuff. Little chuff. You go at the back and then you could like, supply stuff and then be like, oh, hello, Germany, where down here as well. I would have, yeah, would have just been a, it would have helped immensely.

So, apparently it was on the list of possible, Britain was looking at trying to take it from before the war, but it was seen as too difficult. And then into the war they're like, oh, maybe we'll have a crack at it. And we've got a lot of people here that are willing to risk their lives. Yeah. Turned out. And because of mistakes and whatever, the invasion was a dismal failure. And after months of fighting without any gains or very little gains anyway, in December the Allies began a full retreat having suffered 250,000 casualties including 46,000 dead. And on the Turkish side, the campaign also cost an estimated 250,000 casualties with 65,000 killed. So a lot of people died.

I mean, that's the whole war, right? But a lot of people died without any gains. Apparently, the Gallipoli campaign had no influence on the war. It's like a difference. Yeah. Not pointless, but yet, like you say, no influence on the war and all those lives lost for no gain. The thing that we were like would talk to be sort of proud of at school, at primary school I remember was, was the escape nearly, I think no one died or nearly no lives were lost on the retreat. Like they did it under the cover of darkness. There was a bit of a sub-defusion or whatever, so they could get it out without anyone dying. And that was the most successful thing about it,

the retreat. Wow. Said something. Let's talk a bit about Italy. So Italy has not joined the war at this point, and they actually started on one side before the war and ended up joining the war on the other side. So they were kind of interesting in that way.

According to the World War, when World War I began in July 1914, Italy was a partner in the triple alliance with Germany and Austria-Hungry, but decided to remain neutral. However, a strong sentiment existed within the general population and political factions to go to war against Austria-Hungary because they were Italy's historical enemy. Annexing territory along the two countries frontiers stretching from the Trentino region in the Alps eastward to Trieste at the northern end of the Adriatic Sea was a primary goal and would liberate Italian speaking populations from the

Austro-Hungarian Empire while you're knighting them with their own cultural homeland. During the immediate pre-war years Italy started aligning itself closer to the Antonin powers, France and Britain, for military and economic support. So they're seeing the war as a chance to take back land and sort of free who they see as Italian people who are now on the other side of the Austro-Hungarian border. On April 26, 1915, Italy negotiated the secret pact of London by which Great Britain and France promised to support Italy annexing the frontier lands in return for entering the war on the on-tons side. On May the 3rd Italy resigned from the triple alliance. So

they signed to the other side a week later. So there was a week there that I sort of signed up to both sides. Can they always say line up another job before you get there? Yeah, very smart by Italy. Yeah. Or line up another marriage You'd be awesome falling apart. Exactly right. I had two matches of a half back. You always have an overlap. Yeah, I'm happy. You've got it. Every marriage needs an overlap.

You're crazy. You've got to line up another marriage. What are you going to marry, Solus? Don't be ridiculous, Matt. You'll leave yourself open to attack. Matt, hang on, hang on, hang on, Dave. Hang on, Dave. Let's not attack him straight off the bat. Let's come from a place of love and care.

Matt, are you trying to tell us that you? You've spent any of your adult life on married? Yeah. Have you been living in sin? No, no, no. That'd be so embarrassing. No, no, no, no, no, I sure have overlapped it on my wedding. Yeah, oh, thank God.

And sometimes for ease, I'll just marry multiple people on the same day. Exactly, yes. Okay, yeah, great. We're all on the same page then. I just want to make sure. Yeah, early days of the marriage. You know, you want to, I have, you know,

I was gonna say a few things in parts. You know, just in case. Yeah, actually. In case, and that's all Italy was doing. And it saves time and money on weddings. Just have one big one. Exactly. And then you also, I mean, you don't just drop the other wedding the next day or wire

for whatever partner because you want to give it a wee clock Italy did. Yeah. To just see if it feels right. Exactly. Yeah, a little bit of an element time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Juan made the third Italy resigned from the triple alliance and later declared war against Austria-Hungary

at midnight on May 23rd. It's crazy. So they broke up with him and waited nearly three weeks. Otherwise, you know, it's a bit on the note. Like that'll be like in the Daily Mail, you know? Yeah, like a bit of a dog act. Yeah, come on. You've just declared war on your recent ex-wife.

Yeah, jeez. Come on, mate. Jeez, give her a bit of space. Yeah. Let her remarry. Yeah. Let her declare war on you. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had a such feminist. I mean, do I have to say that? No, no, no, not at all. It's tattooed from the Feminist. Yeah. Of this podcast. And you two should get behind you.

I think you're leaning. You're going to get a Matys-shirt. It says the feminist. The feminist offer the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Of podcast will be in very small. And that's a real conversation starter of the party. Look forward to explaining.

Oh, so you're a feminist of a podcast. All right, I wish I hadn't brought this up. I'm sorry. They weren't redisons. Yeah, oh god. And there is a woman on the podcast. Okay, yeah, all right. You seem fun. Yeah. They weren't grudges in there. Oh god. And there is a woman on the podium. Okay, yeah, all right.

You seem fun. Yeah. Well, that's why. I mean, in a lot of ways, I do it to help her. He's like, you have a meta in bloody hell. Oh my god. She hates what you've asked. You know what they're like.

You know what they're like. You know what they're like. What happened in the system? So Italy's declared war on Austria-Hungary, midnight May 23rd, history.com continues. British-led forces also combated the Ottoman Turks in Egypt and Mesopotamia. While in Northern Italy, Austrian and Italian troops faced off in a series of 12 battles along the Isonzo River, located on the border between the two nations. That was like, that was a, it's something I'd not heard of, but yeah, Austria-Hungary and Italy were really

fighting over territory along this strip. 12 battles. The first battle of the Easonzo took place in the late spring of 1915, soon after Italy's entrance into the war on the Allied side. In the 12th Battle of the Isonzo, so known as the Battle of Caporetto in October 1917, German reinforcements helped Austria-Hungary win a decisive victory. After Caporetto, Italy's allies jumped in to offer increased assistance,

British and French, and then Americans, which it seems like there's a bunch of times where it's like they go, and American troops came in, and that really helped. Thousands of American troops came in fresh troops. Yeah. But yeah, so that helped in their case. But 12 different battles, and it wasn't like one keeps winning.

It was like switching. There were three or four of the battles, kind of too close to call. It's a real hot contested series. Wow. I'm gonna talk a bit about another thing. I mean, like, I don't need to preempt all of these because they're all things I haven't heard of before,

but this is the Sykes Picotto Picot agreement. Have you heard of this? No. Don May the 16th, 1916, Britain and France, there's a lot of secret signings. Oh. Britain and France secretly signed the sucks Picot agreement under the assumption

that the quote, sick old man of Europe, the Ottoman Empire, was coming to an end. And Britain and France, they met to decide how they would basically cut up the Middle East and take bits and pieces for themselves. Right. The Brits and the French.

Very good at that. Have a bit of this. The third member of the Triple Entente, Russia, was also in attendance, though it had already been agreed in the March 1915 Constantinople agreement to give Russia Constantinople, now a sample, what's Constantinople, and the areas around it. So all three kind of divvy it up the Middle East a bit. And this is like the war's still going, they're going, we think we, this is all falling

apart here, what do we, what do you want? You can have that bit. Like kids trading cards or something. Yeah. You know, like kids to, kids to the, like the cards. They're cards. Probably holograms Probably money all along kids don't play in person anymore

Probably swapping So that's when we're all going holy holy You know I'm sure it was Gobby car yeah, go be cut. Oh, there we go. Just playing the Gobby card. Gobby is a fun little character like Gumby. It's Gumby's little brother. Like the little Elfin Harry Potter. Yes. Oh, Gobby. Gobby's world. Anyway, we're talking about, I need a sock. I need a wank. Anyway, we're talking about... I need a sock!

I need a wank! What are we talking about? The Saks-Pico Agreement. According to Britannica, the agreement led to the division of Turkish-held Syria, Iraq, Lebanon and Palestine into various French and British-administered areas. The deal's made in this secret agreement have created ongoing problems and affected generations of people in the air, ongoing till today. Like, you know, trouble in the Middle East, it feels like some of that goes back to this.

Drawing borders, you know, just drawing, we'll take a border here. Well, and this is still from Botanica, even though the borders of the mandates were not determined until several years after the socks were coagre Agreement. The fact that the deal set the framework for these borders stoked lingering resentment well into the 21st century. Pan, Arabus opposed splitting up the mostly Arab populated territories in the separate countries, which they considered to be little more than imperialist in positions. Kind of hard to argue with that, even though I don't know more than what I'm telling you. More over the borders,

split up other contiguous populations, like the Kurds and the Drews, and left them as minority populations in several countries, depriving their communities of self-determination altogether. Imagine you've got communities in this area and they're drawing lines, criss-crossing through,

and you're like, yeah. Now we're minorities in these four new countries, yeah, what a, it's just like, no, it just feels like no foresight or understanding on how people work. That looks like they're playing a board game. Yeah, it feels so weirdly entitled. Like, we know, we know what's best, obviously, I'll take this, I'll make my own little boardy here. Yeah, I wonder if that's what they were even thinking this is good for them or they just weren't thinking about that. Yeah.

Yeah, so that was someone, here's another wild thing that I didn't know happened during World War One, the Russian Revolution. Again, like there's so many things in here that could be their own reports. But anyway, so relatively briefly, according to the World War, dot org, on April the 16th, 1917, having traveled on a sealed train from Switzerland, Vladimir Lennon, ever heard of him, returns to Petrograd, or St. Petersburg, after a decade of exile to personally lead the Russian Revolution. The Russian Revolution's a big old topic.

It's actually, it sounds like it's sort of two revolutions in the same year. I'm not is a big old topic. It sounds like it's sort of two revolutions in the same year. I'm not going to go into that too much, but potentially we'll do this. I mean, I just can't. Honestly, I could talk about it for an hour and scratch your service of it. So I'm going to go through it very briefly. From 1914 to 1916, Russia's army mounted several offensives on World War I's eastern front You know we talked about last week This is the eastern front was basically the the French and German border Whereas the Russian was German and sorry the eastern front was the German and Russian yeah, so

Why the Western front? It's the French say that the wrong way around I think it eastern twice good So the Western front is the French side, Eastern front is the Russian side. Isn't it good that I came in ago? I'll help simplify this by making it way more baffling. Why there's two Eastern fronts on each side of the country? Keep going East. Yeah, go East far sure. So this is from history.com. Defeat on the battlefield combined with economic instability and the scarcity of food and other essentials

led the mounting discontent among the bulk of Russia's population, especially the poverty, stricken workers and peasants. This increased hostility, sorry, this increased hostility was directed toward the imperial regime of Tsar, Nicholas II, Nikki, and his unpopular German-born wife, Alexandra. Russia's simmering instability exploded in the Russian Revolution of 1917.

It's beausted by that man Vladimir Lenin and the Bolsheviks, which ended Tsarist rule and brought a halt to Russian participation in World War I. So that was still fighting in the World War, but they were doing it real tough. The revolution occurs and the new leaders go, we're not in this war anymore. Russia reached an armistice with the Central Powers in early December 1917, freeing German troops to face the remaining allies on the Western Front. So this is a big shot in the arm for the Germans. They can fight in one spot basically. Yeah, that's right. So this two front war,

I mean, there's fronts all over the world now, but the main European ones, they're able to take away a bunch of troops they were using against the Russians. What happened to Nicholas? I was saying before it did not end well for Nicky and Willie. It was definitely worse for Nicky than Willie. Nicholas and his family were held prisoner until the following year when at the age of 50. The last of Russia, Nicholas, the second was executed with his wife and daughters on the 17th of July 1918, and some of his servants as well.

The photos, it looks like it's like a little homestead in the stick somewhere, and they were taken out there, taken down in the basement, read the rights, whatever, and killed brutally murdered. According to Britannica, in a slightly, you know, all good things come to an end, but in a slightly more positive note, according to Britannica, on August the 20th, 2000, the Russian Orthodox church canonized the Emperor and his family, designating them, Passion Bear is the lowest rank of St. Hood,

but a St. Hood nonetheless. Okay. Because of the party they had shown during their final days. Passion Bear is. Passion Bear is. Woo! the party they had shown during their final days. Passion bearers. Passion bearers. Ah! It sounds like a delicious drink.

Yeah, yeah. It does sound nice, doesn't it? What do you guys have? You want a passion bearer? Passion bearer? Peabee, please. What flavor? Uh, pool, I'll go with passion fruit.

Interesting. I'm going to get a berry. Okay. Matt, I know you, watermelon. Plain. Hahaha. Oh, delicious plain. So they're executed because they're, you know, that was all official under the new regime.

And it wasn't until October the 1st, 2008, when Russia's Supreme Court ruled that the executions were acts of unfounded repression and granted the family full rehabilitation Obviously two little two late Resurrection issue and full resurrection and sorry Oh, sorry. Yeah, so that's Yeah, poor old Nikki there's a whole other story that I wanted to talk about and now I feel like I'm gonna But the all other story that I wanted to talk about. And now I feel like I'm gonna totally breathe. But the British were gonna tell his cousin in King Henry the fifth right in Britain,

was gonna, that were very close as well. Oh, George. Oh, George, sorry. And he was gonna give them sanctity or whatever over in Britain. But then that was gonna be a bit on the nose and they were nervous about that. So still not known if it was King George or the Parliament,

but probably King George sort of reneged on it, which meant that. Well, that stayed behind it. It stayed behind it, executed. Yeah. So that's pretty full on. So let's talk China, biggest country in the world. They, to this point, China had remained neutral in the war, according to the Smithsonian.

Because I just, it was only today that I'm like, what was China's role? They obviously, they must have been involved somehow, but I just, there was no real mention of it. So I had to hunt it out a little bit more. I found this seemingly good article on the Smithsonian, which I'm gonna quote from here. Under the rule of the King dynasty, China was the most powerful nation

in the East for nearly three centuries. But losing the first Sino-Japanese war to Japan in 1895, I've put it into that. How can I say that? Sino, Sino, Sino, Sino, Japanese War. The Chinese people suffered political chaos, economic weakness, and social misery, right? Historian Professor Xiu in his book Strangers on the Western Front. He goes on, but this was also a period of excitement, hope, high expectations, optimism and new dreams.

Because China believed it could use the war as a way to reshape the geopolitical balance of power and attain equality with European nations. There was only one problem. At first none of the Allies wanted China to join the fight with them, interestingly. Although China declared itself neutral at the start of the war in August 1914, China's president Shikai had secretly offered British minister John Jordan 50,000 troops to retake Qingdao, which we talked about in part one. Jordan refused the offer, but Japan would soon use its own armed forces to oust the Germans

from the city and they remain there throughout the war. So Japan was sort of in this, what was a Chinese territory, Japan is sort of there now. And for whatever reason, Britain didn't want China to do that themselves, I don't fully understand. There would be a reason for this, someone's, yeah, they're iPod right now. But, so I mentioned this story and how China's neutrality was also breached by Japan on their way to defeating Germany at Qingtao. Well, according to history.com, that's a rub salt on the wound.

That January Japan presented China with a so-called 21 demands. And these included the extension of direct Japanese control over most of Shantung, southern Mongolia and eastern Mongolia, and the seizure of more territory, including islands in the South Pacific control by Germany. So Japan's really, at this point, you know, lauding it over a bit, back to the Smithsonian article. By February 1916, with men dying in huge numbers in Europe, Jordan came, Jordan, this is the British minister, came around the idea of Chinese aid as they're losing thousands and thousands.

Actually, that would be great. Like, you've got guys who could send in, Ape Will. Maybe that, I can do what? You know what? What I said. All right, why not? I'll give you a go.

I'll give you a go. I'll give you a go. I'll give you a go. I'm not desperate. Trial period. Yeah, I'll give you a go. All right you go. I'll give you go. I'll give you go. I'm not desperate. Trial period. Yeah, I'll give you. Yeah. You've got three weeks. Yeah. So, but there was a stipulation. China could join with the on-tongued provider that Japan and the other allies accepted. Who are as a partner?

China is a woman. China is a woman in this article. As a feminist, I stand by that. Me too. China can be woman. So, China can be woman in this article. As a feminist, I stand by that. Me too. China can be woman. So, China can be woman too. Yes. So, Japan refused to allow Chinese soldiers to fight. They wanted, hoping to remain the powerhouse in the East. So, Japan's like, no, China can't be involved in the war. If China couldn't fight directly,

their president, Shakae, said, vizers, decided the next best option was a secret show of support towards the Allies. They seem really keen to be involved in the war. I would sort of be going, do you guys want me? No, I'm not. I'm not on the bar, do you want to do it?

I'm 100%. Hey, let's all note that I offered. Yeah, and then when they're like, no, thank you, I'd be like, oh, thank God. Oh, yeah. But they want to see it at the table. They want to be back on the world stage. They were a big power for scent.

Like, I think where we've lived through this tiny blip when China wasn't the big world power, I think through so much of history they have been. And it's there again now what's that's there again now and she's there again now. Yes she is. Very good. Very good. You were making a joke about President Chi. Yes. Yes. I thought you were honestly I was like, that's a great pun. Well, you would know, has the pun master. Pun master, thank you very much.

But, oh, they also have me that, hey, we help out Europe. Maybe they'll help us out with this little Japanese problem. Yeah, I think, well, I just think they want to be, they want to be in there, up with the big boys. But yeah, they want to, a seat at the table after the water. Yeah. To discuss how things are. Yeah, be great if they weren't in here anymore.

I was going to be playing. I was thinking of Japan. The great if China again. So they, I mean, and I'm talking very naively about all this, I'm basing all this off this one article. I'm sure there's other sizes, like the Japanese, we're like, no, we add rights to certain things or whatever. You know?

Of course. So they go, we're gonna send secret support by sending men in there, not as troops, but as laborers, and starting and labor. It's like security guards. Yeah. I mean, if you want to give them a gun, whatever. We can carry stuff with guns. Yeah, we'll carry guns.

We'll carry guns. And if one say happens to fire, shoot a jam in the face, it's happy accident. I'm just gonna start shooting my gun in this direction. And if any, the enemy walks into that stream of bullets, then that's on that. So a bit.

So starting in late 1916, China began shipping out thousands of men to Britain that's on that. So starting in late 1916 China began shipping out thousands of men to Britain, France and Russia. Those laborers would repair tanks, assemble shells, transport supplies and munitions and help to literally reshape the war's battle sites. Somewhere else in this article they were like, a lot of the trenches were dug by Chinese men. Huh. Who I did not know that. I did not know that. If true, I did not check against another source at all. So since China was officially this, I mean, this is a, the Smithsonian's pretty legit.

Yeah. Since China was officially neutral, commercial businesses were formed to provide the labor. So, you know, it's like, no, they're not, they're not fighting they're not fighting for us, we're just paying them for their work. But then the United States entrance into World War I, shifted the political dynamics of the Allies with US officials supporting China's cause with an eye towards the war's end. China's position became more fraught when Germany announced its strategy of unrestricted

submarine warfare as we discussed in part one. Submarines. The U-boats that ended up kind of bringing the Americans into the war. The underwater blimps. Yeah, that's right. The fucking darlin' of the sea. Anything with a periscope is stupid. Well, one of the attacks of these U-boots killed more than 500 Chinese laborers aboard the

French ship Athos in February of 1917. Finally encouraged by the US and believing it was the only sure way to be considered in the eventual peace agreements. China declared war on Germany on August 14, 1917. And though little changed in the support they provided since they had already been sending laborers, but they were now officially in the war. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive

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All right, so now, have you heard of this, uh, President Woodrow Wilson's 14 point plan? Yeah, I have, yep. You've found the plan? Uh, big fan of the plan. Is breastly number eight, is that? Yeah, so that's a difference for every... And the price is pretty good, right?

Yeah. I agree with that one. I have a fan of six as well. Like six? I thought three didn't need a bit there. Yeah, I could not agree more. Just saying so. I think six real good.

Number three, I mean, basically repeating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you just wanted to sort of keep it really easy. He thought 13 point plan, that sounds unlucky. Yeah, you were just trying to switch. Which one was your favorite again, sorry? Oh, number eight.

Eight. Eight. Eight, all French territory should be freed And that sounds unlucky. Which one was your favourite again, sorry? Number eight. And Jess thought six was great. Eight. All French territory should be freed and the invaded portions restored and the wrong done to France by Prussia in 1871 in the matter of Alsace La Raine, which has settled the peace of the world for nearly 50 years

to be riding in order that peace may once more be made secure in the interest of all. Dave, isn't that your trip, Stam? Yes, it is. You cannot argue against it, so I got an int. Well, it is. And number six, I believe, was also a good one, Matt. Uh, that's a longer one, but okay. Maybe a summary there?

Yeah, I'll give you the top part. The evacuation of all Russian territory and such a settlement of all questions affecting Russia, as we'll secure the best and free cooperation of the other nations of the world in obtaining for her an unhappard and unembarrassed opportunity for the independent determination of her own political development and national policy. Wow, there's a real run on set in for that.

There's no one love that. Yeah, well, country used to be women. So number six is my fault. Right back, because I don't understand a word of it. But I think it's basically going, yeah, let Russia go back to ours. Let Russia be Russia. Because in... Let Russia be Russia.

Big when Russia pulled out, had the armistice with Germany that they gave concessions, obviously, because they were pulling out. Basically, not quite surrounding, the armistice is somewhere between. It's just like them agreeing to stop fighting, but the country who's going and going, can we sign an armassist? They normally come off second best. Anyway, another three was along, I disagree with.

Are you didn't agree with? Didn't need to be there. Yeah, we thought it doesn't need to be there. The removal so far as possible of all economic barriers and the establishment of an equal equality of trade conditions among all the nations consenting to the peace and associating themselves for its maintenance.

What is that mean? Yeah, I mean, it doesn't need to be said. So I think, anyway, the 14 points, we grew with most of them. Yes. So on January the 8th, 1918, American President Woodrow Wilson spoke before a joint meeting of Congress and outlined his 14 point plan for long-lasting peace following World War I.

He was an idealist. He thought the world could live in peace, and he just got to follow my 14-point plan. Oh, Woodrow. I'm looking at us now, living in peace, all of us. Thanks, Matt. You're a good plan. Yeah, I think there was a pretty long-lasting peace

of World War I, was it? According to history. Thanks, Matt. Pretty good. Good plan. Yeah, I think there's a pretty long-lasting piece of World War I, or is that it? According to history.com, although they didn't really follow the plan, who knows if they follow the Ford and Point plan? This is from history.com. Wilson's proposal called for the victorious allies to set unselfish peace terms with the vanquished central powers of World War I, including freedom, and this, the war still going as well. And it's not that, it's relatively even at the start of the 1980. You know, it's not like death throws of the battle.

So it's in, he's coming in, come on. Hey, we're gonna, you lose and, let's be honest. We're gonna give you a good deal though. So that, but that's what he's suggesting, and this is what did not happen. So this does feel like in hindsight might have been good. Our selfish piece terms, including freedom of the seas, the restoration of territories conquered during the war and the right to national self-determination

in such contentious regions as the Balkans. So that people rule themselves. What does stuff make sense there? Several points address specific territorial issues in Europe, but the most significant sections set the tone for post-war American diplomacy and the ideals that would form the backbone of US foreign policy as the nation achieved superpower status in the early 20th century. Wilson could

foresee that international relations would only become more important to American security and global commerce. He advocated equal trade conditions, arms reduction and national sovereignty for former colonies of Europe's weakening empires. The speech was translated and distributed to soldiers and citizens of Germany and Austria-Hungary. So, it was quite a positive, let's work together sort of thing, which wasn't as popular with the Britons in that, they're like, what do you mean? What do you mean we have to give up those countries? Why? He was just letting them figure out their own stuff. I don't know about this. Point 14 was his idea of a League of Nations suggesting a general association of nations

must be formed under specific covenants for the purpose of affording mutual guarantees of political independence and territorial integrity to great and small states alike. What it means, but you know what it means, it's sort of like, it was kind of a proto-UN. Yeah. Anyway, let's leave that to the South-Wine moment. We'll come back to that. That stuff comes back post-war. Here's a little throwaway section.

This is from the World War, well, the World War dot org. Sorry. Sorry, dot org. Thank you. On March the 8th, this quite Spanish influenza kills 220 million worldwide. It's funny, it's because it, yeah, I only learned that very recently that it did not start in Spain.

Should be called the Kansas influenza. Well, the camp funds. Oh, camp funds and influenza. I almost feel like I wanna get it. Yeah, they like signed me up. Haven't found a camp funds and... It's kinda like a flu, but you like sneeze bubbles. Yeah. You haven't fun at Camp Funston. It's kind of like a slew, but you like sneeze bubbles. Yeah.

You know? And you know, it goes real red and sore, but it honks. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, but that influence it wasn't. So I mean, that was quite deadly. That was quite deadly. It was quite deadly.

Yes. And it's all in the brand, yeah. Yeah. Have a rebrand. That's all I'm saying. Let's have everybody rebrand. Anyway, let's go back to the brand, yeah. Yeah. Have a rebrand. That's all I'm saying. Let's have a buddy rebrand. Anyway, let's go back to the war. Yes.

Enough talk about flu. So about 20 million. Holy shit. That's got to affect the outcome run. Yeah, well, I mean, I think it was affecting both sides. Yes, but if it affected it, my guess would be that it affected it in the way that both sides like we should knack it, get it right to the side. More and more people from all sorts of things now, not just bullets and any more.

I don't even talk about the gases though, I use these full on gases on both sides. Yes, it's really fucked up stuff. But anyway, let's get back to the war. Enough of that fucked up chat. So with the Russians out of the war, Germany was able to bolster its troops on the Western Front, and it's from history.com. On July the 15th, 1918, German troops

launched what would become the last German offensive of the war, attacking French forces, joined by 85,000 American troops, so all this is some British, but I mean, it would feel so unfair. You'd join me like, we're already fighting so many countries, and all of a sudden, because we admittedly blew up boats of this. All of a sudden, they've come into the war and they're against us.

But yeah, so that was in the second battle of the man, very decisive battle. The Allies successfully pushed back the German offensive and launched their own counter-offensive just three days later. After suffering massive casualties, Germany was forced to call off a planned offensive further north in the Flanders region, stretching between France and Belgium, which was envisaged as Germany's best hope of victory. They still had hopes, but the second battle of mine seems sort of snuffed them out of fair bit. Turn the tide of the war decisively towards the Allies who were able to regain much of France and Belgium

in the months that followed. And what you was that? That's 1918. So we're in the final, we're on the hunt. Sure, sure. But before that, you were saying it was looking alright. Yeah, just before it like it was still was still Germany had they were still feeling positive But yeah, it was hard things got only get harder from here for them as well

It's by the second half of 1918. It was all falling apart for the central powers Quote despite the Turkish Turkish victory at Gallipoli later defeats by invading forces and an Arab revolt that destroyed the Ottoman economy and devastated its land, was really putting the Ottoman Empire under the sword. That's a phrase, to the sword. I like under the sword. Under the sword.

Under the sword. Under the sword. Under the sword. There's from another, I reckon, I've quoted from maybe eight different history.com articles There's a they really love this My god What's the history channel Jesus? I mean it'd been Lee world wall two even more so, but they love this shit

Yeah, they and it hit love they love it. Oh my good. Why don't they love the shit. Yeah, they love it. And it hit love, they love it. Oh my goodness. Why don't they love it? They love it. They love chatting. They love it. Hitler, where is he now? Yeah, what's he up to? Yeah, there's a lot of shows like finding hit loses.

Finding hit loses, finding castination. Finding his great, finding his body, finding his location in Argentina. Yes, he's got the part of the Tena. Yeah, I'm like, I reckon if you're gonna find him, I would have heard about it before watching this reality show looking documentary. That's a good point.

Finding Hitler's son. So I thought, yeah. Finding Hitler's under Antarctic bunker. So this is from another historical article. On October the 30th 1918 British aboard the British battleship Agamem mom Actually he quotes and a few of his songs Battleship, I got... I got my mom.

Not... alright, I think what you said was better. I got my mom not. So that was anchored in the port of Moudros in the Asian islands of Lemnos. Representatives of Great Britain and the Ottoman Empire signed an armistice treaty marking the end of Ottoman participation in the First World War. By its terms, Turkey had to open the Dardanelles, which we were talking about before, very important little stripper water. Little backdoll.

Little backdoll, little chuff. Little chuff. And went chuff. Tiny chuff. So, to open up the Dardanelles and the boss porous straits to Allied warships, so, you know, this is another tough thing for the central powers to cop there. And it also, they also have to open their fort's simulator occupation. It was also to demobilize its army, release all prisoners of war, and evacuate its Arab

provinces, the majority of which were already under Allied control. The Ottoman Empire refused to paint the Treaty as an act of surrender for Turkey, later causing dissolutionment and anger in Constantinople, their capital, but in fact that is what it was. The Treaty of Madros ended Ottoman participation in World War I, and effectively, if not legally, marked the dissolution of a once mighty empire. It was basically the end of the Ottoman Empire. Not officially, that didn't happen until November 1st, 1922, but basically it was done then. The Russian and Ottoman empires have now collapsed. So this war has taken out two

and empires have now collapsed. So this was taken out to, you know, the... Empires. The Sarr, the Sarris rule had been for centuries gone. The Ottoman Empire, which had been a massive power. It was fading, but this is what snuffed it out. But you said that the Sultan was the absolute leader. Yes. Sort of like the King of Kings.

Yeah, the King of Kings, like in terms of religion and, you know, and military. Yes. So that's gone. But you know, there's still a couple to go. Next up, Austria-Hungary. At the Battle of Vittorio Veneto, from October the 24thth to November 4th in 1918, so we're getting very close to the end now.

Italy won a decisive victory in what would become the final offensive launched on the Italian front during the war. While their army fought on the Italian front, the Austrian-Hungary Empire was falling apart back home. For instance, the provisional Czechoslovak government in Prague declared independence from the Empire while mid-war, they're like, where, where, Baylan? And Hungary, I don't know if you've heard of that, the Hungary and Austria-Hungry also dissolved their union with Austria. Oh dear. Not surprisingly, things weren't going so well on the battlefield either. Like the Empire's

falling apart, you think the Army's going, well, we're still, we're going okay, not really. According to Britannica, short of equipment, rations and manpower, the Austro-Hungarian Army was no longer a coherent fighting force. Some units simply abandoned their positions and began marching home to their new nation states. Like, we're free of you now, we're gonna go.

Well, if you're a Czech or whatever, you're like, okay, not, we're free of you now. We're gonna go. If you're a checker, whatever you're like, okay. Yeah. Well, I don't represent you anymore. Yeah. Laters, from October 30th, the Italian advance was slowed only by its rapidly growing number of prisoners.

Oh, wow. So they're just plowing through. On the 3rd of November, an armistice was signed to come into effect on the following day and the 4th. The Austro-Hungarian command ordered its men to cease hostilities after the signing, but the Italians continued their advance, taking many more prisoners and reaching the Asosno River without opposition, which was that battleground which they fought over 12 battles at the Asosno. So that's differently every time. I looked the first one, I wrote out phonetic things for myself and I didn't do it again.

I always do that. I always do that. I always do that. I do it the first one and I'm like, and then I'll remember for the rest. I'll remember. I don't. I mean, and I'm Swiss Italian. That's why a couple weeks ago, I just called that guy Fritz the whole time.

One 16 Swiss Italian, sorry. Fritz, yeah. Because his surname confused me every time. It's great name, whatever it was. Du can. Du can. Because it reminded me of Andy. And you're trying to do it for me.

Exactly, that's how I remember the answer. I broke out of a prison as well. I know, yeah. Whoa. He titled it, it's incredible. Being one six months with the Italian, how are you feeling about, yeah, who are you? Well, the audience is too.

The Swiss part of me, very neutral. That's right. So 130 second of you as neutral. I think, yeah. Well, I think because the Swiss Italian thing is, it's just Italians right on the board. Right on the board on the other side. I think in the Switzerland maybe, is what it was. So I think it's sort of like what they were talking about.

They were trying to get their Italian speaking people back on the right side. So I don't know how I really need to look into my heritage a bit more. The World War dot org concludes of the Italian war effort. At the beginning of the war, the Italian army boasted less than 300,000 men, tiny army. Pishposh. I could take them myself. That's so cute. Oh, Australia really had that many casualties made.

Yeah. But mobilization greatly increased its size to more than 5 million by the war then. Wow. That's nuts. Yeah, so by this time in November, 1918, when they were marching through, approximately 460,000 were killed, Yeah, so by this time in November 1918, when they were marching through, approximately

460,000 were killed and 955,000 were wounded in the conflict. So getting pushing up towards 1.5 million casualties and deaths. Wild. And they didn't even start, they were neutral at the start of the war. Yeah, so they had some full-on battles. So now, Osher, Hungary are gone. Not only out of the war, but they don't exist anymore. Yeah. So Germany is running out of allies pretty quick. Guys? Guys? Where are you guys going? And as soon as they turn again from history.com. By November 1918, both the Allies and the Central Powers

who'd been battering each other for four years were pretty much out of gas. I love that language on history.com. Yeah, that like that. That is juice. But you've got to remember, apart from the wars, there's also this flu that's just tearing through as well. That's crazy. German offensives that year had been defeated

with heavy casualties, and in late summer and fall, the British French and US forces had pushed them steadily back. With the United States able to send more and more fresh troops into combat. Fresh. The German. Fresh is just such a weird way to describe people going to their death.

Yeah, yeah. I got some fresh ones. Where's the humanity? Yeah. So the Germans were outmatched. As Germany's allies crumbled around them as well, the war's outcome seemed clear. In late 1918, popular unrest in Germany combined with a naval mutiny, which is a whole other thing, The German Navy went on strike. Far out. Anyway, so that's not ideal.

You know what Navy has? Subs. Oh no, you've lost your subs. Yes, stupid. Oh, we don't have subs. Who cares? Who cares? What do you freaking do?

Good. So there's unrest in Germany, in the German population, convinced civilian political leaders that the Kaza had to abdicate to preserve order. In fact, Wilhelm's abdication was announced on November 9, 1918, before he had actually consented to it. Oh, they put out the press release, yeah. He was reading it going, hang on, what? He found out in the local mag. Yeah. He agreed. Can I get a copy of that? Instagram

feed. He's like, what the fuck? I'm going to make a few changes here. No, we can't allow any of that. Sorry. I have not signed. Has to be read the beta now. But he agreed to leave when the leaders of the army told him he'd lost their support as well. On November the 10th, the former emperor took a train across the border. So this is his story and it's, he's like at the end of the empire of Germany, but he gets to live out his life. On November the 10th, the former emperor took a train across the border into the Netherlands Which had remained neutral throughout the war he eventually bought a man a house in the town of dawn and remained there for the remainder of his life. Okay

All right, so he did okay. Yeah, I mean in some ways. Yeah, that was was that will help that's will help so he did better than his cousin. Yes Much will he did better than Nikki will in Nikki So say wouldn't have been nice if they both just got egg sold and they could keep sending him each other telegrams. Yeah I really so I really feel for Nicholas. I mean, I feel for everyone Because I'm an empath So the following so this is the 10th of November remember remember the 10th of November Following day pretty important date you might recall remember remember the 11th of November In Australia. It's called Remembrance Day. What I mean, it's called Armistice Day elsewhere

It's also called I think it's called Veterans Day in America and they they use it to remember all the major wars I think now. Anyway, according to history.com, this is why it's an important day. Germany agreed to harsh terms. So did I say, let me say that on the 11th of November, they signed an armistice agreement with the Allies and they agreed to harsh terms. The Germans agreed to pull their troops out of November, they signed an armistice agreement with the Allies. And they agreed to harsh terms. The Germans agreed to pull their troops out of France, Belgium, and Luxembourg within 15 days, or risk becoming prisoners of the Allies. They had to turn over their arsenal, including 5,000 artillery pieces, 25,000 machine guns and 1700 airplanes. You know, they had great planes in their daves. Your time's about a few weeks here.

Let's try for the red baron. He's a, he's long done with this time. That's right. As well as for- How many submarines I have to hand over? I don't know if that's the end of summer. Is that the- Yeah, because the LIs were like, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. You boats.

Yeah, I don't want to fucking have to storm. Always pictured boats in the shape of a U. Yeah. Always. Even though I know is it under water boat? Is that why it's called a U boat? I think it's a German long German word. For under water?

What is that word? Is it for underwater? I'm wrecked or something. Is it, does it mean underwater? Probably. If it doesn't mean underwater, it's like, what the fuck is the point of something? Probably something like under, under water? Because our languages are actually

quite related. Prepare yourself, Jess. Oh my god. U-boat is an anglicized version of the German You boot a shortening of See boots Under to see On to see boot that's awesome. It's literally an underwater boat I don't understand your trouble with it. I just think they're a bit silly I understand how you don't like accountants more than this and I like accounts. They do find work I just think I want to see boot Just then how you don't like accountants more than this, and I like accounts. They do find work. I just think... I want to see a board.

I just think there's something that when you think too much about them as I obviously have, you go, that's a bit silly. What do you think of fish? They're like underwater. Oh my god, fish are damn ugly. Beans, really. It's just things underwater. People in a bar.

I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. No, because you're only partially submerged. Oh, okay. So like divers. scuba diving? Do I like it? I don't like it. But snorkeling, fine.

Okay, because you've got the pop hanging out the top, maybe the back of your head. You come out every now and then go. Did you come across? That's a eye snorkeling. You're a stave. I don't even go to talk about this. Come across. That's an eye stalker anyway. Boo! Yes, David. I don't even gonna talk about this.

I just thought of it and I was like, a bit of fact, Jake, that this thing I heard is actually correct. The Compian Wagon. No. Are they signed the armistice? Oh, yeah, I did read it, read about it, but yeah, it was it.

The just to get there, they had to, they, you know, that to telegram ahead and go, hey, we want to come and meet about it, signing an armistice, and they've been talking about it for months. And then they, so they're driving through no man's land in France, like weaving through, you know, the barbed wire and massive craters in the ground and stuff, as to how I'm picturing it.

And then they caught an overnight, they had to get in a French bus, then an overnight train, they were like traveling nonstop and the politicians or the representatives of Germany who went there, no one really wanted to do it because they're going to like, and the guy, the guy who headed it, he ended up getting murdered by an extremist German group within a few years, I think. Oh, shit. Just because he was the guy who saw on the deal. Wow.

It had to be someone. Yeah. I was just bringing it up because they signed in a train carriage on November the 11th, 1918. Yes. And then it went into a museum. Oh. And then when Hitler came to power, he said,

oh, let's take it out of the museum. And then when they invaded France in 1940, and Germany were victorious over France, like they invaded Paris, all that sort of stuff, he put the train back in the exactly the same spot and made the French people sign the new agreement, but with Germany victorious this time in exactly the same place as a power move. What a... I've said it before, Hitler's such a bitch. He brought it out, was like, I guess the clever son the other foot. Undersea boot.

Yeah, I mean, we don't mention, but he was obviously fighting for the, I think the Bavarian Army or something. Oh, shit. I didn't even think about that. I forgot Hitler was around. I sort of feel like he just kind of appeared, you know? And then he disappeared. Yeah, but he was a boy. Yes. He grew up and yeah, it's, he had dreams of being an artist and all this sort of stuff.

So that's what they say. If he was better at art, the world would have been a very different place. Finally, he was better at art. You know, the people, this must be a concept of comics number four, but people I've talked about, you say heaps of people do some version of the joke about go back and kill baby Hitler. We go back and give him better teeth. Better teeth.

No, this is giving prize. Prize. So you want. Time is good. Who cares? Who cares? This is fantastic. Wow.

Yeah, you said you just take cash back and you set up a gallery and just. Yeah, buy all these work. Especially with inflation, if you took back like a hundred grand back then. Yeah, that'd be like, what is this? What is this weird money? Oh yeah. And there's no like, you can't exchange it, can you? No, well, you just, if you put it in a bank back then and then withdraw from one of

their ATM's. Okay, okay Dave we've solved it right So you're not too strict with the better. So you're right Dave They've got they're right they're doing this on this carriage. It's an amazing I just I just remember hearing that being like what an asshole. Yeah, just like man It's what is this about? It's just like the belief that Germany deserves, like he added in his head that it's sort of, it had a right or a right to be there, I guess.

Punking. So the list goes on about the things that to give over 5,000 trucks, 150,000 wagons. They also have to give up. 60,000 big Macs. To go. Put a joke one in in there see if they do it. Pull out of the blue M&Ms. And they also agreed to the indignity of allied forces occupying German territory along

the Rhine where they would stay until 1930. And that was seen as, you know, there were people in Germany, I'm guessing sounds like maybe Hitler was one of them Who's like this is a real kick in the teeth? So then a few months later the war is now over. Boppa. It's done. Wow, but The aftermath so people celebrating obviously ending of war that's good ever people Is people a lot of people celebrating? But they're also like almost definitely loved ones have died from

everyone knows multiple people who have died in countries all around the world. It's sort of celebrating, but it's also like, holy fuck, that was fucking hectic. A couple of word for word, what people said. Holy fuck, that was fucking hectic, eh? Screws. People said holy fuck that was fucking it you gay Two months later a conference was held at Versailles outside of Paris or Paris To work out the final peace treaty the things didn't go smoothly as the disparate allied powers Tending the conference all one of different things huh

So it hang on people who just been at war are now coming together and they're like and they want different things. It's funny, especially like Britain and France, who've been enemies for so long. It's weird they don't want everything to go exactly the same as each other. Very strange. But it took a lot of negotiating between the Allies. They eventually agreed on a position. It's from history.com, another history.com article. In the agreement that was signed in June, vanquished Germany was forced to accept harsh terms, including paying reparations that eventually amounted to $37 billion.

Whoa! In 1918 money, or 1919 money, nearly $492 billion today. Shit. That humiliation and the lasting bitterness it engendered help pave the way to another world war two decades later. Wait, why? I think about two days later. That's it.

We're invading. So yeah, I mean, I feel like we all need a break. Listen as an us, probably from the war stuff, but I'd be interested in doing maybe in a year or something doing a similar sort of World War II series. All right, well, let us know. Listen, if you've imagined there's some of you out there going, please, enough of the war.

Get that to you, enough of the war. But I'm not talking about- Get that tea, you should know little stories. Talk about down the track, because I would be, I've learned so much. Mm. Well, the director of the history channel is loving this. Keep it going.

Well, speaking of another history.com article continues, at the Paris Peace Conference in 1919, allied leaders stated their desire to build a post-war world that would safeguard itself against future conflicts of such devastating scale. Not super successfully. Some hopeful participants had even begun calling World War I

the war to end all wars, which is still known as now. I know, but never. Why do you do that? The unthinkable shit. Like, what, shut up! Shut up! Now we're definitely gonna have way more wars.

Exactly, exactly. Now let me tell you, I think we did have a few more wars. Yeah, yeah, that's trouble. Yeah, and all these decisions that were made at this time have just set up the world for multiple more wars. Almost non-stop fighting, because before this, there was hardly any. It just doesn't really make a whole lot of sense

why we fight each other so much. Because it's sort of like, it's like getting into a fight with a sibling, but you're like in the car and a long drive. Like you get over the fight but you still have to both sit next to each other. You know, like we can't move countries to a different planet. We still have to all be next to each other. And you're like, hmm, hope they don't seek revenge. Yeah. Make me sit on the same train

cart. But I think I mean, that is, I mean, that says something right. They, the Allies were too brutal to Germany after this. And that's sort of, that's the common wisdom now. If they, if they did what, uh, I'll make what said, would you know Wilson and, and we're just made it like less of a looses and winners and more just say this is what we're going, we're going for peace. Yeah. Because you can blow the world to pieces. But you can't blow the world to peace. Who's that from again? Michael Franti. We're kind of blow we're talking.

Oh, you know what I'm talking about. Rack them up. Oh, I can go. You could do that to peace. I bet the Vesai Treaty signing there would have just been, every right, it's not really signed until everyone's done a line sign on the dotted line and they're winking at each other. So we all get it. I'm very confused. Wait, what? So yeah, so the so was signed on June 28th 1919 did not achieve these lofty goals.

1919 did not achieve these lofty goals. Saddled with war guilt, heavy reparations, and denied entrance into the League of Nations, Germany felt tricked in assigning the treaty, having believed any peace would be peace without victory as put forward by President Wilson in the 14-point speech from the year prior. The one that was translated in a German and all that everyone was reading.

Oh yeah, they're like, oh yeah, cool. Yeah, I think that was good. Because the other that was translated into German and all that everyone was reading. They're like, oh yeah cool. I think that was good. Because the other option was they didn't have to end the war. They could have just kept fighting and retreating back to Berlin, but they were also nervous that they wanted the war to end, but they also thought ending it now might have been a slightly more equal result, but it just was like they're like, no, we win. And now you've got to wear address.

Yeah. Dance. Look funny. How are you going to give you a funny hat? You've got to wear a hat that says, I'm a loser. As the years passed, hatred of the Versailles Treaty and its authors settled into a smoldering resentment in Germany that would two decades later be counted among the causes of World War II. I talked a little bit earlier about how China was in part of

the war partially to get an invite to this peace conference afterwards, and they did do that, but according to the Smithsonian, China was only given two seeds of the Paris Peace Conference, whereas Japan had five. Since the latter had contributed combat troops, that's why they got the extra seeds, which is the thing that they didn't let China do. Right, but they essentially did do that, they just called them laborers. Well, they didn't, they weren't fighting, they would dig in trenches, they were fixing machines, they were, you know, they were... Laboring.

Big part of the... Yeah, there's a lot of trips there as well as that stuff. They just didn't hold weapons, I guess. Matt has only devolved from there, and the Western powers ultimately awarded Shandong to Japan. China saw the move as a rejection of its demand to be recognized as an equal player in global politics and as an affront to its sovereignty. According to Professor Xu, who we talked about before, China was deeply angry at the Versailles

of Treaty. It was the only country at the post-war peace conference to refuse to put a signature on it. This article also talked about this was a real turning fork in the road for China and rather than bring him in to Europe and the world's side and being like democracy and all this sort of stuff potentially this is the time where they started moving the other way into what's a code the thing whatever what's the thing they do now

reds reds under the bed coming Oh, communism. Communisms, thank you. I'm not sure which way you're gonna describe the political system. Well, I think that's sort of the way it went. Yeah, sure. Which I guess, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I'm going off this little bit of an article. It's in their show notes.

But yeah, that was interesting to me. It's like, so you're sort of saying if they just went at that time, they're like, China, welcome. Good to're like, China, welcome. Good to see you. China, baby. Please. Take a seat.

Take a loader. Like who knows, but it's just an interesting idea that how many things changed because of this meeting and how this meeting went. If Germany was brought into the League of Nations, would they and weren't sort of made to feel so awful about losing? And in Baris, basically, they sort of got shamed a bit in that. And then they seeked their vengeance, or they set up the possibility for them to do that. Because they put it gotten so much debt that the people of Germany got poor, right? Like they were really struggling because they were paying these billions of dollars.

Yeah, right, after you just lost a big war, that would have cost a lot of it. So when the people are struggling, they're looking for scapegoats and answers and that's how I guess I'm talking like I know what I'm talking about. I'm sure the listens by now know that I do not, but sort of get what I'm maybe saying, I don't know.

All right, well, just to finish off, let's finish on a high note. Here are some numbers about World War I casualties. Oh God. History.com summarizes this. World War I took the lives of more than 9 million soldiers. 21 million more were wounded. Civilian casualties numbered close to 10 million.

The two nations most effective were Germany and France. Obviously that Western Front was real bad. Each of which sent some 80% of their male populations between the ages of 15 and 49 into battle. Now, 15 and 41, 80%. Wow. Jesus. The political disruption surrounding World War I

also contributed to the fall of four venerable imperial dynasties, which we mentioned, but worth repeating, Germany, Austria, Hungary, Russia and Turkey. The world was totally changed. Yeah. In four years, it was just, then there was all the, you know, the technological advances

and all sorts of things as well. Maybe that would have been a more positive thing to finish on, but anyway. That is the end of the Epic 2 part about World War One. Yes, you did it, Matt. Well done. They, and I mean, I said it could not be done. And yet you did it. Yeah.

How do you feel? Great work. I feel like I'm going to regret. I'm going to learn more in coming weeks and which I put different things in, but I guess you can't have everything in there. How long do you possibly return to reading about it? It's done. You know, when you google a lot of things, my final start going, he's an article about World War One, I'm doing, oh, shouldn't read it, but I will. I probably will, yeah. Yeah, and obviously just hitting up the history channel wherever you can watch that.

Of course. On the TV, probably. Probably. Yeah. So, I mean, there's all sorts of things we didn't talk about. Dave, you mentioned briefly before we start recording the Easter uprising in Ireland. I've put that up for the vote multiple times. I still feel like that'll be its own report one day.

But, you know, a million other small stories. But yeah, it's just a real sad tale. And it's just amazing to think about how it's just this smallish group of people weren't quite able to sort out the differences and and and then didn't really learn lessons and and and it happened all again 20 years later or whatever or not even 20 years later yeah just over 20 years later yeah for the people at home we turned off the tape for half an hour and brought out the blackboard. Got the avocados out.

No, I'm honestly impressed with your research there, Matt. I know you have basically read every article in history. If I could shout out one person who helped me through all this, it would be MrHistory.com. Oh, what? All Mrs. They're what they say on the tin. Yeah, no, that. What a resource.

So that was really, really good. Check out the show notes if you want to read a bunch of articles, but I mean, you just use Google also, there's another option. Yeah, Google it yourself. But history.com is a, yeah, it's so good. So make Matt do what it will work for you. We find out this week that history.com is just a made up some some guy just type of nonsense out. Oh, Mr History.com. That's really just one guy.

One dude. Um, then, uh, yeah, China had two seats. Um, Japan had five seats. That sounds that sounds like something right. First I, I mean, it has five seats. That sounds like something right. First saw. Oh man, it's pretty funny sounding place. That could be real. Oh, train carriage. Yeah, that'll come back. Yeah, that sounds pretty epic.

Yeah, we'll put that in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, great. Well, I think that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show, the fact Quadal Question Section. And I think it has a jingle to go somewhere like this. Fact Quadal Question section. And I think it has a jingle to go somewhere like this. Fat Quotal Question. Hmm, he always remembers the ding. The way to get involved in this is to go to

patreon.com slash 2.com pod or do go on pod.com and sign up on the Sydney Shamburg Docks Memorial Edition Package level. There's about five levels, I think, at last count, who can keep up and all sorts of different price points Price ranges. Oh, this is the real thing tells him coming through I've been being in the salesman game for a long time, but it's all come back to me now You never forget. I'll leave you with that brochure and call me if you've got any questions Just a B.C. Always be

cuck and so conditioning conditioning. Air be conditioning. You say that as you shake the hand and wink up. Have a cell. Another job out on shoot. So the supporters on there, they keep this show running. And we love them all individually and collectively and you get all sorts of different bonuses. We're about to record a bonus episode straight after this, which will be out maybe already actually. Yeah, it will be.

You'll be able to get back and there's like $100. Well, what do I tell you? This is the 100th bonus episode. Oh, there you go. And they are still available. So if you want that, you know, you got a long drive coming up. Run out of two-guwon podcasts. I don't know. Some of our best ever episodes are in there as well. Yeah.

Jeff the talking. Jeff the talking mongoose, the 904 Olympic marathon. The killdozer. The killdozer. The history of the nanny yeah rangers curse all the parents just curse that's right so so many great stories it was it was someone about was there a foot mystery of feet washing I hear the Salish see foot mysteries where lots of feet have washed up on the

west coast of Canada and North USA and that we've just put the most recent episode like a report was about the ice block expedition of 1950 Right. Yeah, where a Norwegian company decided to Basically for a publicity stunt transport a 3000 kilo block of ice from the Arctic Circle through there's a hard desert and down into modern day Gabon onto the equator without refrigeration. Amazing. I want to see if their insulation was up to the test. That was great. It was awesome man. I think the one I laughed, maybe the time I

laughed the most last year was the Ziegfrieden Roy at bonus episode. Oh, that's right. They had a wild, you know, life story. There's a lot of stuff on there. Go check it out. But the reward you get as well as those bonus episodes on the Sydney Shamburg level is you get to give us a factor quote or a question. First up, we've got Brett.

Brett bless you, wall, that's his nickname from me. Brett bless you, wall. Who's given himself a different nickname. The man with the condom eating dog. Oh, nice. Oh, I think I know this guy, Brett. I've spoken to your mum. All right, about the condom eating dog?

Yes. What? I wonder if this will explain it. I was just so, just in case he does, I'll read it out first and if he doesn't, I'll explain it. Brett's asked a question. His question is, hey everyone,

at the beginning of 2020, my dog ate a used condom, he's going to explain it. My dog ate a used condom of mine. What did you use it for? Fee specific. Okay, that was a weird request there, though. But imagine it was for something else. Alright, so I'd run out of that little funnel thing that you used to put cream on top so it would be okay. So I put a little pinhole in the bottom. They were expired anyway, because I haven't used them in so many years.

So at the beginning of 2020, my dog had a used condom of mine and it was very upsetting whenever it threw it up in front of my mom. Whenever? Whenever. Yeah, that was like a whenever it threw it up in front of my mom. Whenever? Yeah, it was like it did it all the time. Was this like a regular meal for your dog? It's a feeding a dog condoms.

He said, I ended up getting Matt to do a cameo for her, just to cement the moment in our lives. So cameo is the, it's like this app where people are going to get me or add others. Celebrities. Well, yeah, me or celebrities. The super Nazis on there as well. Are the celebrities like Matt Stewart?

Yeah, are the big deals to do a message. And I had to message his mom and apologize to her for him. That's very good. That's very good. That's good use of technology. Yeah. He says, my mom is the greatest person in my life and she's also a huge fan of the show.

Oh, that's cool. I wanted to start 2021 the same way we started 2020 with you guys. Can you please say hello to my mom, Lisa Lee, and tell her how awesome she is. She doesn't know about this, so I'm hoping it will be a good surprise, thanks. Hey, Lisa Lee.

Hi, Lisa. Lisa was so funny, because she then got me to do a return message. Oh my God. Do these two ever talk to each other? The return message was, it was something like, get a job and move out. It was so fun. Very good, Classic mum gear.

Yeah, I actually, I believed it. I wonder if that was true. What a way to find out. Hey, mate, sorry to be the one I have to tell you this, but you are getting kicked out of home. Move out, you've got three months. So, hello, once again, Lee Sleeve. You're really silly, man.

Sorry that happened, but it seems like you're both in pretty good spirits about it. It's not like you had a pretty cool son if you know what I mean. And you're a cool man. Yeah, wow. Oh, you mean cool son? And you see it six. And yeah, and what a cool dog.

Right. Because all dogs are cool. That's true. I don't have the dog. Was the dog okay? You know that? I think my dog would be real good. I think my dog would be, I don't think it'd be very cool.

Your dog's in there. Yeah. No condoms for your dog. No condoms He's never getting my raw dog in it That way I come from Thank you Brett wall thank you Lisa Lee the next one comes from Michael Dorisie It's given himself the title of junior chief pencil pusher and he's also asking a question. I like it.

Oh, this is interesting, especially considering who was meant to be doing the report this week. Michael asks, oh, hang on, no, I've given him his title. Michael asks, can you guys get Naomi Higgins or Danielle Walker to guest host on the pod after the pandemic? Thanks Generally she was she was booked into do tonight Naomi that was yeah, oh the World War one episode was initially gonna be one long one and Then Naomi couldn't end up doing it. I'm like I

I can I can make it a double. And then in the last, since we recorded the first one, I really expanded it into probably almost was getting towards Mounted E3 weeks. But yes, we definitely can. Naomi will be hopefully doing a report soon. Sometimes soon, yeah, for sure. Yeah, great, great request there, Michael. I'd love to have Danielle on as well.

She has moved to Sydney, which makes it a little bit harder, but not impossible. I didn't know that, damn. Yeah, she's moved a couple months ago. We lost her. No, no, lost another good one. Ah, she'll be back. This one comes from Jordan Nassie, who right,

firstly, given himself the title of, the one who makes sure Dave remembers the ding in purveyor of fucked facts. Oh, oh, dear, here we go. Here is Jordan's fact. I don't like how this starts. Sorry, this is very long and very fucked. I don't like either of those things. Oh, dear. The attack of the dead men was a battle. Oh, it's a World War I battle. That works. The attack of the dead men was a World War I battle that took place at the Osirvake or Osirvake Fortress in North East Poland.

The German soldiers were waiting for the air to pick up before launching a gas attack at the unsuspecting Russian combatants. When they did attack, the invasion began with artillery bombardment combined with chlorine gas. These gases are some of the things I didn't really go into, but I think everyone decided after we're not going to do any of those gas stuff anymore. The Germans attacked with 14 battillions of infantry, sappers, siege guns, and artillery. The Russians had around 900 men defending the fortress. Most of the Russian soldiers had either no mask or poorly made gas masks that would soon prove to be no help at all when the Germans attacked with the fumes. The Russians had zero protection because the gas mixed with the water in the air and the water in the lungs of the Russian defenders, the Russian soldiers just didn't just choke on the gas, it turned

the chlorine into hydrochloric acid which began to melt their lungs and throats of the soldiers. A skin beyond appeal, resulting in the entire fortress scrambling to halt air decomposition with threat rags. Oh man. Blood and skin soaked the earth, plans and birds laid dead in the field. Tree leaves turned brown, the grass became black, and men outside the fort died shortly while the gas entered their respiratory system dissolving their lungs and literally started melting them from the inside out. Around a hundred of the now furious and dying Russian soldiers survived. The Russians not only stood their ground, but they also prepared a counter-strike or while falling apart.

History reveals that around a hundred soldiers remain to stave off the 7000 German soldiers as they advance on the fort. Holy shit. So they ended up holding them off. Wow. That is a, like you said. That's a fucked fact. Very fucked. Very fucked fact. But you are a purveyor of such things. Yeah, so we would expect nothing less of you. Okay, and finally this week, this one comes from Nathan Damon. Oh good luck following that Nathan. Well he's got the title of Dugon's number one ticket holder and he's given us a quote and it's not some short. Not many people give quotes. No I reckon it's not about this nice. That's been the lowest demand

Erickin. All right. The quote is right place at the right time and that quote is from Andrew Gays on Matt Yeheros. That was Andrew Gays how he described how he justified his career. Guess I was just in the right place at the right time. He played at the top level for 20 years or something. Yeah, right place, right. It's all about who you know. No, it's very incredibly good. I'm a really good networker. Yeah. You've got records across all lines in Australian basketball. I actually just got discovered in a food court. I've wrapped my squad top. I was just like throwing a drink into a bin

and someone said, hey, you could do that for the next 20 years. Come with me. You can't eat. Come with me. It's fun because even then, you still have to do it. Yeah. Bit of luck.

I can't. He's so humble. Yeah. Not of luck. I think. So humble. He's so humble. Yeah. Not a legend. What a bloody legend. That's great. How does it feel to be one of your projects to be quoted?

In the fact, quite a question. That means a lot. How does it feel to be Andrew Gays' best friend? Yeah, how does that feel? That feels very good too. Wow. Drinking a cup to my birthday party? Can you bring Andrew Gays to Jess's birthday party

and then I can meet him? I'm assuming I'm invited as well. No. I got someone at the gig tonight. You know, Matt Hardy is a Aussie comic and Saints fan. He was at the gig tonight. And Saints fan. And Saints fan.

He's I written a book about the Saints and... Okay, so he's... But I'd at the gig tonight, he goes, he comes to go, you the guy that interviewed Frankie Peckett. I like, ehm. That was he can't really go. You the guy that interviewed Frankie Peckett. I was like, ah! That was fun. That's nice. Yeah, because he's like, he's like,

he's one of his favorites as well. I'm like that sick. Love your taste, big. Yeah. And a beautiful friendship was formed. And then he saw me bomb. Yeah. Then he saw me do fine.

Yeah, come on, let's be, come on. Let's be truthful here. And I'll slunk told me to do fine. Yeah, come on, let's be. Come on. Let's be truthful here. And I'll song out. It went fine, which is honestly an absolute win. Yeah, in these times. Yeah.

No one's crushed. I've not bombed since COVID. I think COVID is a thing for me. Have you crushed? Yeah. Matt. Yeah. Matt.

Yes. I'm not talking about boxes for the recycling. Yes, I'm not talking about and I'm and I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm

And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm

And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm And I'm Yes, I say David Cooper every time and you always correct me. That's probably well done I need for me anymore. Bye guys Need is like go up into the sky. I ascend Just you know become a little game based on the report last week

They've gave everyone a superpower country. I don't think we'll do that I think in the end it wasn't really the superpowers. It was just naming belligerence. I mean, we ran out of superpowers. Well, what could have been sweet? You never did Austria-Hungry. What could it be? What's it gonna be? What about...

It's a hard one. Yeah, I'm just trying to think. There were no fun nicknames in there, I could think. Yeah, because'm just trying to think. There were no fun nicknames in there, I could think. Yeah, because I'm not really going into the individuals, or I just more like an overhead sort of thing. What about their nicknames, if they were in the royal families,

like Nikki, Willie, God. Nikki, Willie, yeah, love it. Yeah, what their cousins would call them in a telegram? Yeah, they're signing off being like, you're truly... Nicky, yeah. Okay, well I mean that is gonna end up being a lot of their actual nicknames, but see how we go with this. Alright, kicking off first from Ridgecrest in California in the United States.

Samantha Martino... Because we can't just go Sammy, can we? Ricky! Ricky does Ricky Martin. Oh Ricky Martin. Oh That's good What are you seeing there, buddy? Ricky. Don't lose that number. I don't know what it is Is it from that band you mentioned last week for a

You don't you Isn't that you think you feel Collins? No, that's Susu studio You're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, I looked up and I knew a lot of him. One of him was, Ricky Doldens, the number. Okay, in my defense field columns does have a song called Billy, don't you lose my number? That's very, very different Dave. What, yes. Barra Singles. Yes, very different. Just really flipped there. We just literally just really put the really went Italian there Billy Billy don't you lose my number. Oh, yes

Now that fan to you. Yeah, they're different songs What a world we live in just just figure that out together. So Ricky Samantha Ricky Martino. Hey Ricky just, just dropping you a line. Yeah. Let's not start a big deal over this. Yeah. Oh, yes, I'm mobilizing my army along the border of your house. But just till go. I'd also love to thank from Houston, Texas in the United States.

Norman Paz. Norman Paz. What about Norman? I mean, now we're just giving the nickname, but it's gonna be better than you're right, rather than saying Normie. Norman. Normie's not a good nickname.

Normie, the dispenser pass. Yeah, the pass dispenser. So, look at the same thing. Come on, what about that? The dispenser. The dispenser. So, you're truly the dispenser? Yeah, maybe we're given their soldier nickname.

The dispenser. So, are we're given their soldier nickname. The dispenser. So we're sticking with Ricky for Samantha. Yes! Ricky's good, that's a good name. What was Ricky Martin's big song? Living the beat of a little guy. Killing LeVida Loka.

See, it becomes an army thing. Wow. And finally for me, I'd love to thank from Kingsville in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Bechtailer. Bechtailer, the seamstress. Oh, okay, I like that. Like Taylor.

Oh, okay, I didn't actually, didn't get that, but I really like it. Yeah. And what does that mean, war like, how, how is that translate to? Why does it have to be war, maybe she was- Oh, she was actually fixing tents or something. Yeah, or like their uniform, uniforms have to be made at some point, don Oh, she was actually fixing tents or something. Yeah, or like their uniforms. Uniforms have to be made at some point, don't they? Also, they're just a piece.

I thought she was maybe like cutting the enemy up and then stitching them back together. Yeah. Or like, if you kill them in the night with like a pair of like, uh, knitting needles. Yes. Back, that's pretty sick, actually. That's actually really... And I mean, that in a bad way. Yeah.

That's not good. That's actually and I mean that in a bad way. Yeah, it's not good That's actually gross. You should wait back back Can I thank some people as well? Please I would love to thank from Kirluas in Victoria. I don't know where that is Kirluas. I'd love to thank Julian MacMahon hide Julian MacMahon the Oh, Julian McMod, hard. The brown bear. The grizzly bear. Grizzly bear.

Oh, hard, hard. Okay. I got a winter. Yes. You know, going into. Hibonation. Hibonation. Hibonation.

Yes. But you got grizzly bear and that's a cool name. Yes, that's who cares. That's really cool. So who cares? So who cares the justification stuff? Yeah. Can't just find who cares. Who cares that you're fun-bling or stuff? Yeah, who cares the fun? Who cares the fun, Blia?

No, Nick name is a good story. It just sounds good. Don't worry about it. Sorry, Cabra. Love that. Yeah. Julian, thank you so much. It's called Grizzly.

I do like it. Grizzly beer, like that. I would also love to thank from MA. Massachusetts. Massachusetts. Or? And so I was looking at that word originally thinking if it's English it's going to be like moisture.

But if it's American it's going to be like warchester. There's, and it's Massachusetts. Yes. And I would love to thank Joy Flanagan. Joy Flanagan. That's a good name. Joy Flanagan. Oh, okay.

Yep. No, you're at youth. Well, I'm thinking because her Oh, okay. Yep. No, you're at youth. Well, I'm thinking because the name's Joy. Yeah. It would be, there'd be some kind of, what, what do you think? No, no, no, I'm going, I just see if you're on my page, yeah. There'd be some kind of...

So, it's, it's sort of like how redheads would get called blue. I think if her name's Joy, it's going to be something about sadness. Yeah, right. Glum, gl right. Glum. Glummy. Oh, bloody glummies here. I'm in his joy. Glummies in the building.

Let's go. My instinct was I was gonna say the fiddler. I don't know why Flanagan just felt Irish. Okay. But I think Glummy is better. Joy, Glummy, Flanagan. Glummy. Flanagan is better Irish for but I think glummy is better joy. Glummy flanagan. Glummy. Glummy is better Sounds good My was gonna be I was gonna be joy the nurse flanagan because I'm on Pokemon remember those nurse joy

No, I've had sex have you there was one called like squidgy or something, but that's all I remember squidgy mind Squidgy squid and squidgy two Finally for me, I would love to thank from Kings North in Great Britain Emma Hargraves Emma Hargraves are so the Hargraves families in the umbrella academy So The hard-grage families in the umbrella academy. So they've all got great names. What about the, what's I'm trying to remember, or any of them? Yeah, I can't think of any of their names.

They're like V. So we call them V. Yeah, Vanya. Vanya. But she's the white violin. Yes. They've all got a nickname as well. Uncle Vanya.

Check off play. But it sounds good. Uncle Vanya is an nickname. All right, uncle. Emma, Uncle Vanya, hard-. All right uncle Emma Uncle Vanya Hagrid Okay, yeah, I love a baffling nickname A good conversation starter. Oh, why are they call you Uncle Vanya? Well funny story actually

Boring story actually So it started with the assassination of artists So on your of art students. So, Anya. Anya, Anya. Anya, Anya. Anya, Anya. I would like to thank a couple of people to bring us home now from Mark Trivill or Mate Trivill in New South Wales. Blake Utomo.

Oh, Blake Utomo. The shark. Blake, Blake. Yes. Blake shark. The shark. The shark. The shark, utomo.

I mean, not the only thing. Probably shares the great norm. Oh, we can swing. Long dong. Huge dong. Long dong. Congrats, Blake. Love to get nude.

And why wouldn't you? Yeah. With a dog like that. Jesus, Blake. Not your value, Blake. Not your value. Like, it's really late here. I'm so sorry.

Yes, is it his value? No, of course not. I'm sorry, but we said you had a big dog. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Not your value. Unless you do in which case congrats. But if you don't, it doesn't matter.

It only matters if you do. Good on you. But if you don't, don't worry about it. But if you do, or a hot, hot, eat, buddy boy. If you don't, no worries at all. Blake is also, that's a unisex name. Maybe you don't have a don at all. And it's really, to be honest, none of our business.

It's none of our business. Whether or not you have a don. And otherwise, you've got a Cycnic name picnic name the shark. Yeah the shark is also very gender Newly Blake lively. I think it's the only yeah Blake is generally I don't know many Blake's great name great. No, I love it I want to see more blikes in the world Blake get that big dong going We need more Blake's out there. Oh

God, oh I would love to thank not swift enough though We need more flakes out there. Oh God. Oh, Mervon, swiftly. I would love to thank not swift enough though. I would love to thank from Berlin in Deutschland or Germany. We would like to thank Shockery, Francis Raul. Hey Shockery, I feel like Shockery's been around with us for ages, but... The Jock. Oh, the Shock Jock. Yeah, it's great. The Jock.

The Jock, the Jock's a good... That's good. The Jock's good. The Jock, the strap, strap up. And what's inside the Jock? Anyway, we're moving on. Shockery, Francis Rayou. Shockery, the Jock. Inside the Jock is a large dog.

Yeah, that's what I was trying to learn from. I know. Shockery. Let's bring it back. Appreciate you a lot. Bring it back. And your large dog. Yeah, that's what I was trying to learn from. I know. Chuck Ray. Let's bring it back. Appreciate you a lot. And your large dog bring back the dog. All these people have large dogs. Can we just say? And finally, I'd love to thank from Deer Park here in Victoria. Tom Murray. The dog. Tom the dog Murray. Tom the dog Murray actually. Actually, actually. Well, they call you the Dong funny story.

Yeah. That's great. Deepark. It's also in Melbourne town. Somewhere I think out in the west. So we're not that far away from the Dong. No. Yeah, it's pretty exciting.

You never too far away from the Dong. As is its size. It's that big. It's never far away. Well, do we have any members for the triptitch club? Oh, yes, we have a lot. Oh, great. That day, you warmed up. I mean, I'll quickly explain, I guess, the Triptage Club. Dave's only saying great because he's got to come up with gold for each of you. So if you've signed up and supported us on the shout out level for three straight years, you get welcomed into the Triptage Club.

I'm standing on the door. I've got the clipboard. I've got the guest list. I've got the Velvator Rope. I'm ready to lift it for you as we tick you off. I'll say your name, then Dave, hypes you up. He's your hype man. Oh yeah.

Everyone comes in the trip ditch club feeling good, and if you're not feeling good, Dave will make you feel good. Dave obviously needs to be kept up and Jess does that with her hyping skills. Jess has also come up with a, you've actually have quite a bit to do, Jess, an all-durven adrink.

Thank you for noticing. I actually do a lot of the heavy lifting at this fucking club. I understand you with the guest list, and I'm sort of schmoosing. You can even fucking print that list yourself, mate. Yeah, I do. It's on the iPad.

Come on. It's not even hard. Anyway, yeah, well, last week we had rations this week. We're out of rations. We went too hard on the rations. We really should have rations, though. Yeah, bit of self-control people. Fucking hell. So there won't be anything. But we've got every other drink in a group of parts.

Oh, yeah, no, full, fully stocked bar and fridge. I mean, we have a kitchen with 6,000 shifts. Yeah, it's really no problem. And they all specialize in all derves. Yeah. And each week we put on a couple more, because we got more guests. Dave, you always book a band, who have you got this week?

We have got Phil Collins featuring Steely Dan, both playing their mind number song at the same time. And it's honestly, It's honestly seamless. But it's also like Silent Disco, so you can pick whichever my number's on your nose. To Earthic. And we should also have folds on the other stage

playing their mind numbers on. Great, we should. But I mean, you booked the line up. Did you organize it? Why are you telling us what we should have? Yeah. Is that what we do have? Or is that what we should have had?

We do have. Yes, here they are now. Wonderful. Wonderful. All, is that what we do have or is that what we should have had? We do have. Yes, who they are now. Wonderful. All right, that is virtually. There's so many. There's so many. There are 14. Oh fuck off. I'll help. I'll help. Is that serious? Yeah. All right, you ready? No. Dave. But I need a bit of water here. dude. Dave, there all been went three years. No, no, no. I'm fopping off. Three years of my life has also been building to this moment.

Yeah, I reckon you're ready for this. Oh man, just looking down the list of names, you got a lot of gold to work with here. Oh, I don't say that. The least natural hype man, Matt. Oh no. Try to set me up here. He was a momentum.

Hey, let's switch roles one week and I will. Do you want to do it this way? No, I said one week. Not this way. It's 14. All right, you ready, Dave? You're going to do it. I need to do it this way.

Yes, I fucking need you. You can do this. All right, first up from Fork's River in New Jersey. It's Marcos Vascas. Wow, there was a fork in the road and you chose the right side! Yeah! We're often rolling, baby.

From a lutein in Great Britain, it's singly named Will. Well, you've been looting all the bars of all the great people and you've brought your good stuff here to our club tonight! Yes! All right, so we'll keep going. Where's the Willers away? You need commentary, Matt. We just need momentum. Keep going.

I just want, I just want them to get the welcome they deserve. Okay. Shut the fuck up. From Lonsessin in Cornwall, Great Britain, it's George Francis. Cross to Gorge to get here tonight, but George Francis is here. Okay, I'm the Sambert.

Gorge is almost, it's, yeah. George, it's almost the same word. But why, I mean, how's that hype? French is here I can't remember good good almost yeah George it's almost the same but why me how's that hot in the up to say that's the good yeah it was a perilous journey and he's made it Jesus from the woodlands in

Texas in the United Saises Morgan Club out of the woodlands and into the club. Good Morgan. From Rabin and Queen Zane. What's this place from? From Rabin and Queen Zane, you know her well because she gave you some books, you've used for book cheat. It is Tegan Longman.

Well, it's been a long night. But it's also gonna be a great night. Whoa, what are the worlds shout out? From Henderson in Nevada in the United States, it's Taga LaPira. Well, I thought I was more of a lion man, but tonight I'm a tiger man. Yeah, man.

Well, is he named really tiger? That's great. That's fucking badass. I mean, it sounds like tiger, toggle up here. It's crazy. It sounds like it. Yeah, no, it sounds like. I really thought he was going to do so like, there was no tiger and all of a sudden a tiger

La Pera. Oh, that's good. That's actually good. Do you have so much more time to think about it? Also use it. For the people at home, I did not see them written down at all. I just hear the name and react to it. It probably would be better in hindsight if I had a written down in front of me. But anyway, from London in Great Britain, it's Ogi M. Ogi March? It's Ogi March, Ogi March. Ogi March, right into our club tonight.

Yeah. From Singleton and New South Wales, it's Jonathan Wheelhouse. Oh, you're not going to be single too much longer. Jonathan Wheelhouse, he's also, he's in our Wheelhouse. Yeah. Good. Sometimes I just like to try to do the place now, he's in our wheelhouse. He's in the room. Sometimes I just like, John, the place name, because he gives me that extra one. He gives me one second extra.

You didn't know these great names, Swing Boy, and you're going off like, because if I leave it to the name, what happens is, if I don't get one, I'm like, well, fuck now, I've got nothing in the five seconds of silence. Woo, wheelhouse, yeah. From, oh, we're on the home stretch here.

From Garland in Texas, it's Josh Harman. Oh, we ain't in campus anymore, do you know Garland? Yeah, it's a hoping you'd do a Garland. Thank you. From Sacramento and California, it's Jacobi Austin D'Angel. Oh, Jacobi, Jacob. Yeah, we're going that wrong after so long. They call him the Jacobi Bryant of this club.

Yes. And the angel, I always get it all wrong. I've got mocked it all up there. Nothing though, that's right, Jacobi. Jacobi and the angel. Diormit, do all the other way around, give you more time on the name. Lear and Bromberg from Philadelphia in the United States.

Fun fact about Blue and Bromberg. Every now and then, I get a word, a name or a phrase to stuck in my head. And last year, there was a week where I'd seen Lyron comment on something on Patreon and the Facebook group. And throughout the week, I just kept thinking, Lyron Bronberg. Lyron Bronberg's here tonight. That's not gonna hype you up, you're dead ends. Yeah, got me telling you that hey About you I thought about your name a lot for about a week in mid 2020 when everyone was losing their minds So nice and my thing was Lyram Bromberg They're in Bromberg great name. I love it richer de Lloyd from London great Britain. Oh

Sorry, I thought it was gonna be more than Great Britain. Oh, sorry, I thought it was gonna be more than Dicky Lloyd what are we thinking? From London yeah, I got Lloyd's Bank in London. Oh, wow. I felt rich. I thought I was rich man But then you came in now. I feel even richer Richard Lloyd's Bank See Matt have set me up there? I was switching it around, made it harder. I think it has something to do with the original.

How many more we can do? Timor, from Tom's River, new joysie, it's Kayla. Hodgiewicz. Hodgiewicz. Hodgiewicz. Hodgiewicz. Kayla. Hodgiewicz.

Kayla, never fail. Oh, that's, now we're hitting our stride. Thank you for your time. Thank you for your time. Thank you for your time. Thank you for your time. And finally, from Hi Wickham in Western Australia, it is Chris Potts. This night was going to be low Wickham but now we're as high-wick.

Yeah. Well, would you attempt with pots? Anyone? Some pots and pans. I'm going to make a real racket tonight. Get out the pots. No, it is hard, isn't it? I can't.

I can't. I can't. You're so... Fettless run-out. Why do we start doing this? Also, it is 12-15 after midnight. We're doing this. Wait, so I'm gonna have to tell people,

oh, it's so late and they're like 12, 15. We're picturing like 4 a.m. All of a sudden, you sound like a real virgin, right? Well, I did a 10 hour shift today. You gotta get up in about, you know, six or seven hours for another 10 hour shift. So, let's keep going. Oh yeah, we're over some fair call.

Lyra Bromper. So that brings to the end of this episode. Thanks everyone for tuning in Dave. Beat this baby home. Hey, we've had some last, we've had some times we've learned about a dark period in history, but I honestly feel I know a lot more about World War One now. So thank you Matt for bringing that to our attention,

but we will bring this chapter to a close next week. It'll be either myself or maybe Naomi, who knows, we'll be back myself or maybe Naomi Who knows, we'll be back with another episode, probably not related to World War One. Probably, no guarantees. Well, let's Naomi accidentally pick one. That would be my name.

If it's me and Charlotte, I promise it won't be. But if you wanna get in contact with us, you can go to dogoonpod.com and find links to our Patreon, our merchandise, our Facebook Instagram and Twitter pages which are all at do-go-on pod. And you can also of course buy tickets to our live podcast in March and April. For those who've got primates on sale now that we just announced at the top of the show, Bookcheat, Matt's doing a stand-up show, all of this stuff will be linked in the description of this episode. But until next week, I'll say thank you so much and good bye!

Bye! Before the first one you did three breaths in without a breathe out. Do you notice that? You were like, because you were about to go and then you had a thought and your breath in again. And then I passed out. I put this up there end anyway. Alright. I'm thinking about breathing in now.

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