Do Go On - 298 - The Disappearing Parliamentarians (Lord Lucan & John Stonehouse)

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

In 1974, two members of the Parliament of the United Kingdom DISAPPEARED! The first, Lord Lucan lived the high life, and was seen as a real life James Bond. He was also accused of murder. The other, John Stonehouse was in financial ruin after being accused of spying on his country. Within 12 days of each other, both men vanished. So what the hell happened to them?Get a ticket to our 300th episode live stream, Saturday July 10: https://sospresents.com/programs/dogoon-300thGet tickets to be in our 300th episode live studio audience: https://www.trybooking.com/BSKYC Get a ticket to our show at the Great Australian Podcast Festival on Nov 6: https://www.livenation.com.au/greataustralianpodcastfestivalFor tickets to Matt's Live Taping at Stupid Old Studios (and shows in Adelaide and Brisbane): https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/ Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodBuy tickets for our screening of The Mummy on September 10: https://www.lidocinemas.com.au/mummyBuy tickets to our streamed shows (there are 16 available to watch now! All with exclusive extra sections): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Check out Matt’s Beer show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej4TUguJL58 Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat:

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution,

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in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On, my name is Steph Warnicki and as I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hey Dave, how's it going? Do you? I always edit it out but your big inhale before you start the intro is fantastic. I made it even bigger than usual today didn't I? Really just to get the words out.

I leave it in and I turn it up. So it always starts with... Woo! Give me a second. It's great to be here. Obviously, ran here. Yeah, I'm training for a marathon. No, you're not.

That's not true. It's not true, everyone. Dave's recording on a treadmill. No, I'm not training for a marathon, but I have been training for our 300th live episode. The Segways on this guy. Where was he going? I've been training for 299 weeks with you guys. Yeah.

And I think we're finally ready to live stream our 300th episode. This Saturday night July the 10th. And you can watch it from anywhere in the world. You can watch it live as it goes out, comment along with other people, or you can watch it from anywhere in the world. You can watch it live as it goes out, comment along with other people, or you can watch it on cat shop. I like that as a silly one. You can comment along.

Well, some people really get in there, and then often they get to the end of the episode and say, no idea what they said. Yeah, they just been having a chat. I'll have to listen to it. But she's lovely. Yeah, that's great. It's a social way to watch it.

If you're interested, or you can just watch it any other time on cat shop, on demand. And yeah, yeah, yeah, we'd love to see you there. Obviously, we won't be seeing you there, but you'll be seeing us there. We'd love for you to see us there. Yeah, that would be great. There's like an exclusive extra show at the end that you only get if you get tickets to

the stream. And that's even on catch up, even on catch up. And there's also, there's going to be, there's tickets for people in the room, but they're all going on, aren't they, Dave? There's a few tickets left. We've been able to increase. We just had a few Patreon people in the room, but we've increased capacity just slightly. So there's a couple of tickets and I'm literally made a couple of you want to come see us

in the room Saturday night, this Saturday, 10th of July at 8.30pm, Melbourne time. But you know, you can work it out. There's actually a listing on the sospresents.com ticket link where it says, what time it will be for you all around the world. I'm so excited for that. People can also come to see us if they want to wait a bit longer in November or at the Palais for the great Australian beer spectacular. No, that's not right.

The great Australian podcast festival. That's right. We are doing it. right. The great Australian podcast festival. That's right, we are doing it. That's another big Saturday night show. Yeah. Like you said, at the Pelle, lots of great, great other podcast being part of this, you know, you got our friends at the Dum Dum Club.

Toph up with Willand Asin. Can we call them our friends? Toph up. Actually, I went to the footy with Charlie, so. Yeah, that's something you do with friends. You can't go to the footy with a stranger he did keeps saying okay acquaintance uh sit a little further away but did you see that he said that yeah it is interesting okay I just Charlie be a Charlie little bit further fuck off fuck off and you're bands, love bands between mates. Friends, best friends.

So your tickets for that are available right now. The great Australian podcast festival.com. And if you're in the mood for seeing stuff, why not come see me do some stand up comedy. I'm coming to Brisbane on the 14th of July. I'm pretty sure that's sold out though. New show is in Adelaide on the 15th of July. There are tickets available to that. I haven't been Adelaide for a while. Adelaide notor the 15th of July. There are tickets available to that.

I haven't been Adelaide for a while. Adelaide notoriously, don't buy tickets to things. So prove them wrong. Prove them wrong. And hey, what a great chance. We haven't been to do a do-go on over there for a while. If enough people say to me after the show, hey, why don't you bring do-go on.

I'll get right on the phone and Jess there and then say Jess just book it in. And I'll say, who is this? I'll say, fuck off. Over there, no. I want to get this number. But the biggest one I love, people to grab tickets to, is I'm doing a taping, I'm going to tape the show

so that people can see it in other places who haven't been able to get to recent times around the world. So if you want to be in that, if you want to immortalize the back of your head, maybe even your laugh, ideally, ideally your laughing. It's going to really funny head. Yeah, I want to immortalize your funny look in head. So you can come along to that on Thursday the 29th of July. There's two sessions, 6.30 and 8.30. The 6.30 one is getting close to selling out

and the 8.30 one's got tickets available. Come to both if you want to. Go on back to back. Yeah. See, see how many words I say differently. Wow. Good. It could be as many as seven or eight.

And at the end, approach mat and say, it was nine tonight. Yeah, let him know. But there you go, that'd be really cool to see you at those. That one, the taping at this very studio, she would also choose. Oh, a beautiful studio. Absolutely beautiful.

A second time, third time. What second for you? Second would probably be like my parents place, I guess. Third would be like the holiday home I've gone to my whole life. And then this is probably fourth. The holiday. The holiday. The half. Oh wow. Grandparents. Little wooden shack. Shebosha was literally my only home for a while. Well, I lived here. But anyway. Anyway, he can get tickets to all those shows. The 300th episode, the Gratitude Lane podcast

festival, all of Matt's fantastic stand-up gigs And we've put a link in the description of this episode to all of those this click through very easy very It's easy if anything looks at we see that's your comedy comms. My one if you can't be bothered scrolling If that's not easy enough All right, let's crack in to this episode and You know what I'm gonna ask Matt, what do we do here? What are we doing here? Geez, I'm normally the one who throws that question out so I haven't had that answer in a while.

He's been throwing me under the bus a lot lately, so you have a go. Which is fun, and I can see now how it's also mean. So what happens is one of the three of us gets a topic usually suggested by a listener, often voted by patron supporters. We go away, we research it, we read about it, we watch some dockos about it, we just bathe in it.

Bathe in the knowledge. And then we bring that knowledge back in the form of a report, and we read it out to the other two, who don't know what the topic's gonna be until the report starts, and it always starts with the question. This week, Dave is doing the topic. I'm still wet from the knowledge bath. Because it comes straight in.

I've forgotten too much. Jess, you didn't need to say so. It was clear. In my silence and my disappointment. I didn't even have time to grab a towel and I apologise. But the knowledge is fresh. Look at this, I'm just splashed just on the face. No. No. Anyway, the knowledge is fresh. Look at this, I'm just blushed just on the face. No.

Anyway, the question that we start with. What starts with the question? What's this week's question? All right, my question for you is John Stonehouse and John Bingham, the seventh Earl of Luchen, were both members of British Parliament and in 1974, they both... What?

Became... Wait, Luke isn't that like, that's werewolves of Ampires? Isn't it? No. What's the word I'm thinking of? It doesn't matter. Wicked? I have no idea.

They both... So you've looped in? Looping, probably. Oh. Is it? Doesn't matter. I just think they both become werewolves. That's my guess.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Matt's looking in werewolves. I'm saying in what you said 74? 1974. I think they both did a come. Oh, they became dead. Cannot confirm. Norton high.

Yeah, you can pretty much assume that. Yeah, they went the whole year So I think I think I got you on fuck, but they did it doggy star because they were were wolves Bit of a bit of a face early on there Let me just tell you this a clue Wait, what? So, Is this something we would know? Would we have heard?

No, but you can get, no, you wouldn't probably know the story, but you can probably guess it under them. They died. They disappeared. They disappeared! Yeah! Matt. Fuck you.

That was great, honestly. Praise you. Like you should. Matt. Fuck you. Okay, fair enough. Like you should. fuck you okay fair enough like you should so I did 1974 1974 John Stonehouse and John Bingham both members of British Parliament and they both disappeared wow 74 let me tell you all about it. 1974. Wow, that's weird.

This one was voted for by the Patreon supporters. Sydney Shrineberg deluxe memorial package members. So thank you so much for choosing this topic. And it's been suggested, because it is essentially two different topics here. Oh. Suggested by a few people. Lord Luke in the first guy Talk about me place it desperate mate come on and he's even like in the suggestion listed his location

He's like please find me suggested by Dancemith from south end on sea in the UK Chris Williams from south Wales James Edwards from London Scott Coventry from Grennick, Holly Franklin from Yorkshire, Julie Bay in Iowa, and Ben Wittingham in Liverpool, and then the other guy John Stonehouse suggested by two people, Ella Robertson Clark from Melbourne, and Hannah Nell Gershinsky from Urfat in Israel. Oh, awesome. That's it.

So the worldwide topic. Yeah, a lot of bread seemed like there's quite a few brits in there. Hmm. It might be a bit more familiar. So you guys don't know either this thing. I want to add that. They're kind of Harold Holt maybe.

Well, let's find out. Woohoo. That feels like a yes. It sounds like a fucking question, though. It's honestly. Fuck sake. Not fucking ass. I mean, fucking ass of a yes. It sounds like a fucking question, Dave. It's honestly. Fuck sake. Not fucking ass. Fuck sake.

It's kind of a question. Geez. Do you drop in a few Fs today, Jess? Yeah. Too many? Yeah, F and N, Jaffa and Oliver. The Jaffa is F and N, Jaffa. Have I met my quota already?

I'm afraid so. Damn, Oliver. We'll have a PG rating. I'm not quite past the water, man. Damn, we have a PG rating. I'm not quite past the water, man. Yeah. John Thompson's Stone House was born on the 28th of July 1925 in Southampton on the South coast of England.

And when I googled Southampton scones, it looks like they do them correctly, put the jam on the bottom. Thank you, Google Images. Correctly. So that was, maybe that puts you you off this guy already Matt, but. It is funny that you're so proud of this thing that everyone does. You mean everyone does it correctly? Well, I mean, if you think mainstream is correct, then sure.

Enjoy listening to Coldplay and having a jam on first. You like underground scones. Yeah. I like scones, you've probably never even got a chance. Like it's fine, you don't get it, but that's just how. You probably never even heard of the combinations I used. Pretty embarrassing, but dirt and bricks. Takes good. You wouldn't get it.

John Stonehouse was born into quite a political family. His mother, Rosina, was a former mayor, mayor, and counselor in Southampton, and his father was a trade unionist. It seemed that young John was destined for a political life, and at the age of 16, he joined the Labour Party. He was conscripted into the Royal Air Force in 1944, and after the war was educated at the London School of Economics.

He was a very smart guy and boasted about having an IQ of 140. I boast about it. Sounds cool. Sounds like a cool guy. I'd love to hang around with. I don't even know. A 16 year old politician who boasts about his IQ. Sounds like a real cool guy. Sounds like a cool guy. I've seen it train stations in my youth. Eating a scone correctly though. Mainstream. What's a high IQ? Well, yes, I'm glad you asked because I wanted to put that into context with other famous people and I came across two articles. The first was called Celebrities with Surprisingly High IQs and another one was called Dumb as a Box of Hammers Celebrities with Low IQs. Great. I can't wait to find out which list I'm on. I got to answer, May Shock you.

I just went with the Hi-O-Qs page for context. If that scale is right, 140 would make John Stonehouse slightly smarter than Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was 132 to 135. But not as intelligent as Lisa could draw, who's at least as 154. That's not frozen. Put that into context. She's not as science, I believe. I guess you've got to be pretty smart for that, right?

154 is, that's genius level. Wow. He's very intelligent. 140 is near genius. Anything above 140, you're off the chart. Oh, shit. So, he's very, very smart guy. Good night.

Okay, you're also off the chart, but. Ha, ha, ha, the other way. I've got emotional intelligence. I got straight smart Straight IQ my street IQ 200 Wow, yeah max points. Yeah, that's way more than Lisa good road street. I keep yeah She gets mugged all the time. Yeah, no, I mean street. I keep it's mugged by me. I say I mug Lisa good road Straight I keep your success is a criminal? Yes!

No. To pee. And what is street spars? Is it to do with mugging? Maybe you have to ask. Yeah, he don't have. Sorry, mate. You don't got it.

Hey, I'm not smart in the streets, but I'm smart in the streets. Guess I'll come in a long way. I'm fucking doing it. She's smart, so I'll go. The time he said he were mencing the sheets. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. And a whole crowd just like laughing, but I was like, I know, you know what I'm saying. Hi, are you, you check out the list of cool celebrities who are surprisingly smart and

shit. I don't know. Oh, stonehouse served as director and then president of the London Corporate Society, but his dream was to be a politician and he ran in the 1949 County Council election and lost. He then contested the seat of Twickenham in 1950 and lost. Then in Burton in 1951, he lost. Hey, all right, sing a pattern.

But finally, in 1957, he stood for the seat of Wensbury in the West Midlands and was elected to the House of Commons, which is the UK Parliament's lower house, at the age of 32. He's just trying every seat. He's, I'm imagining, do you have to live in the area? He's seen moving in the house a lot. He's all the time. He's like, okay, struck out there, next. I'm a local, I'm campaigning on local values.

I love it here in. Check notes. You know, down at the local shops in the quarry. Is that a quarry here? There's got bunnings. That famous tree that we all know and love. Oh, you don't know the tree? You call yourself a local.

Well, it's just a town. You just gaslighting people. What a dick. Yeah, real piece of work this guy. Do we like this guy or not? I can't tell. Well, you tell me. I just asked you.

I mean, he's got the... I'm asking you to... Hi IQ. He's boasting about. He's hanging out at train stations apparently. I like him a lot. He's contesting election after election. In February 1959, Stonehouse traveled to Rhodesia, which is our now Zimbabwe, on a fact-finding tour, which

sounds fun. But it wasn't that fun of him because within two years he was expelled from Rudija after criticizing the white minority government of southern Rudija and encouraging black residents to stand up for their rights. Oh. So maybe we do like this guy. But according to the Schroppsier star, his stance on ethnic minorities won him good support back home and his career began to take off.

Oh, okay. So I kicked out, but it looked good for him. Right. Interesting. And in 1967, he became the minister of state for technology. And he was the last holder of the post of postmaster general and oversaw the introduction of second class stamps in in 1968 and if that's not a big claim to fame. Wow! I'm sick of being trailed like the second-class stamp. Second-class tram. Oh sorry.

Well, politically he seemed destined for great things. Apparently he wanted to be Prime Minister, and looking at his trajectory here, it probably didn't seem like too far fetched of an idea. And around the same time, another star was on the rise, albeit in a different echelon of UK society. John Bingham, our other character today, was born in Marleybone in London on the 26th of August, 1934. Matt can never remember which one of us. Oh that's one, yeah. Yeah, very important day on the calendar. Thank you. Happy birthday to one of you. Happy birthday to John Bingham, please.

Happy birthday to John Bingham, please. He was born to George Charles Patrick Bingham, the sixth Earl of Luke and Baroness, Caitlin Elizabeth Ann Dawson. Elizabeth Ann Dawson. Caitlin, okay, yeah, there's a lot in there. Yeah, a lot of names. Feel like that's them being like, all right, I gotta pay tribute to you.

Yeah. And you and also Ann, Ann, aren't Caitlin. Yeah, I hadn't heard many Caitlin's back then. That's interesting. I'm probably wrong. I just haven't heard of that many Caitlin's back in the day, you know? Back in the 30s. Well, he was born in the 30s, so she was probably born in what the...

20s? Yeah. How do I be young back then? I did have a young, the 10s. She's probably born in the 10s. Big Amnus of the Young One was born into an Anglo-Irish aristocratic family that had once owned vast states. He had some famous relatives, including the Third Earl of Lukin, who was commander of the British cavalry, and when acting on Lord Rackland's orders,

ordered the fateful charge of the Light Brigade during the Crimean War, which is a comedy of areas that is definitely worthy of a report one day. Is that a song as well? Yes, it's a Tennyson poem, I believe. Poem. Charge a little light brigade. Yeah, I know nothing about that, but that phrase sounds very familiar. Yeah, and it was like a motorized by that, yes. Yes. Yeah, such was at Tennyson it was yes By the 1930s the family had lost its lands though and most of its fortune. Oh, I should say that was still very well I'll let us work there before they had it just Excesses amounts of money. Oh dear according to the Irish Times Lucan's father was a socialist but his son would grow up with no such sympathy for left-wing politics. Instead, he would grow up to embrace an old-fashioned aristocratic

lifestyle, drinking, gambling, and spending money that he didn't have. Oh, that's the way to do it. The fast. Yeah. To go onward. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Live fast. Regret it.

Yeah. Die real hard and sad. Live fast, diarrhea. I think we live by that. It's a bit of fun. Do you love to live fast and diarrhea? The Spartans perceived privilege. The young Lord didn't have the easiest childhood, it should be said. During the Second World War, the age of six he was evacuated to Wales and North America and was separated from his parents for five years. Oh, no.

And on his return, they sent him straight to boarding school at the very expensive Eton College. So, didn't have a great relationship with this. Eton College comes up a bit in, I think, in past reports, watching the crown, nothing that's where, like, Prince Charles Charlie a lot of the Romanesses went. Yes. I was looking it up. The school fees there is equivalent to over a hundred thousand dollars a year.

Mm-hmm. Very expensive. Okay. I'm sitting in the office going, uh-huh. Yep, yep, yep. Okay, well I'll have a look into that. Yes. Thank you. Is that my phone ringing? Sorry. I must have that.

I just want to, because my dad does listen to this podcast, I just want, Dave, you could just say those school fees just one more time. I 100,000 dollars per year. So dad, maybe stop telling me how much my schooling cost. I turned out fine. And you and you know could have been worse. Is that really something that comes up a bit? Dad loves to tell me how much it costs to raise kids. Well, I mean that's a good lesson alone. Well it costs more to raise royal kids. Yeah dad. That's so if you're thinking about if you're thinking about becoming a Lord

or a John. Which I was. I was thinking about becoming a Lord, Yeah. Lord John, which I was. Obviously, about becoming a Lord. In fact, you made us. Yeah. That's a Lord in the lady and now I've got to raise Royal Church. Yeah, I assume you'd be sending your children both to eat and call each. I eat and call it 100 grand, is that? Yeah.

And I have eight children, so. Oh, no. Oh, no. Are the ones sending the dog there? Is that just eating school for dogs? I must send the dog. She said the scholarships are available. or... Oh no. Are the ones sending the dog there? Is that a school for dogs? I must send the dog. She said the scholarship's hour available.

There is even a bunch of people there that don't pay any fees. So have you have a gifted child? Maybe one who's bragging about it. You know me. Of course she's having a gifted child. Well, maybe you were marrying a mentor in the Sheet Sand. I got happy little dickheads. They're so dumb.

Look, I got to tell you, I'm about to brag about how good Eaton can be for the young lad. It was that Eaton that John developed a taste for gambling. He supplemented his pocket money with money he earned through bookmaking. He was regularly seen leaving school to attend horse races. He's a little bookie. He's a bookie. He's so cute. John, we spent a hundred grand this year and you haven't made do any classes. You've just been at the track. Picture him with his little tote bag and whatever they call him. I'm eventually a very small kid, you know, with all the other bookies at the races, that's why it's cute. Last call?

Yeah, that's fun. But he's like really tough. You know, he's a tough kid, that's funny. He doesn't take any crap. Oh, it's very friendly. Very friendly while you're making the bets. But if you owe money, thumbs will be broken.

And that's just the first step. Knee caps next. The teacher looks around the room and half the kids have broken thumbs. Oh, I'm sorry John. I'm sorry I'll pay you back. I'm going for it. I'm going to teach you salary.

I know I've been eaten, but the face don't really filter back into the teachers. That's right, I'm still on a very basic wage. You watch yourself, sir. You would think if it's a hundred grand a year per kid, the teachers are being very well compensated, right? They should be, right? I mean, they should be the best teachers of the money you can get, right? Right.

And they should be compensated for having to deal with those absolute turds. It's also not even the most expensive, I think that I've read it's a third or fourth most expensive, so heaven knows what the most expensive school is costing. Yeah, I bet you some of the teachers there probably even went to eat and they got, well, I've quite owned back to the sunk cost there. Yeah.

I bet it's, it was in, is the werewolf thing. Like in, just took you a while. Well, I wasn't looking all the time, but I just knew there'd be people yelling at their iPods. You know that. When you get to know werewolves and vampires, there's some very passionate people. When I go loop in werewolf,

which is what I thought you were referring to, remis loop and up that you're referring to from Harry Potter. Sorry. Oh wow, there you go. So I've combined the two, maybe. Two levels. Yeah.

I'm also looking forward to the twigs being like, does Jess have eight kids? You'll never know. Does it just need financial help with those eight kids? Those eight little tickets. Let's get a, a go fund me going to send Jess's kids to eat. All item, all we need is $800,000.

Okay. Oh yeah. That's right. Is it a primary to 12? Yeah, you go there and board forever. Okay, we're going to need quite a lot of money. That's okay. How many girls have you got?

I'm assuming they don't take girls. Yeah, assuming they take girls. Because what's the point? You know why would why would a girl need a prime minister's education? Yeah, he put them to work so I get kind of school a girl Go go school. No, she'll be in the factory Okay No, my girls are all gonna be elite sports women And when that that's the fact on the factory I'm always Thank you very much. Wow. I'm gonna learn that at the fact that I'm the

fact- I'm always gonna be bakers. Wow. Mm-hmm. Wow. Even if none of them want any of that, don't care. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

Do as mummy says. Like when people force their kids, like to like, you know, hold a golf club or a tennis racket at the age of one, you're just getting the kids to stop baking. Yeah. In you go. I have no idea why, but the day you're just getting the kid to stop baking. Yeah, in you go. I've no idea why, but the day you were born, I decided you'd be a baker and bake you shell. Bake you shell.

You bake until you're 18, and then you're not my problem anymore. You're on your own kid. No, that's when you, that's when they're making to the top of the baking world. And you're always there in the background. It's a real stage, mum of baking. I'm still looking after the finances.

I'm actually the baking manager, so. I'm actually going to change my, no, I'm not even going to change my name, but all my kids will have a surname, Baker. Not my name, Determinism. That's great. They're making a lot of bread, but I'm making all the dough. Have you changed the name? Is that determinative nomadism?

Hahaha! That makes sense. Hahaha! Good fun. Good fun. Alright, well, so he left eatin' actually to undertake national service, which at the time everyone was quite to do, during which time he added poker to his arsenal of gambling. Of course. When he left the army a couple of years later he joined a London-based merchant bank

on an annual salary of £500, which wasn't heaps. This led him to meet a wealthy stockbroker who introduced him to Batgammon, which he also bet on. An annual salary of £500. He's school costs a heart. No, that's currently currently yeah, I was still like that doesn't add up. Okay, sure. Well that I put that 500 pounds into perspective in a second because he was pretty good at gambling and one lots of money playing backgammon and bridge There is man things the only problem was that he often lost even more money playing so he'd want he'd win a small fortune But then lose like a media fortune. Shit. On one occasion, Luke and lost 8,000 pounds. Okay. And his annual salary is 500, which is a two thirds of the money he received annually from various family trusts.

Okay. So he lost nearly all of that in one go. Another time he lost 10,000 pounds in one night. He had to borrow money from family members to borrow him to bail him out. Oh, he's he's that family member. So hang on, so he's making 500 pounds a year at his job, but he's also getting like 10,000 plus pounds a year from family trust. So he doesn't need the job. Not really. The job is is like pocket money, but not even. Yeah, people like to work. Oh, I'm not saying I'm just saying like he doesn't need

the job. He loves it. He works for the passion of work. Yeah, I'm not saying I'm just saying like he doesn't need the job. He loves Eddie works for the passion of work. He loves merchant banking. But it's like it's an absolute blip in the ocean of money he has. But one big win is all you need to keep you going and Luke and gave up his job at the merchant bank after winning 10 times his annual salary in one night by playing Shaman Defer. I maybe maybe he doesn't love working that much. That's a form of backer at that James Bond's favorite card game. He said after the win, why should I work in a bank

when I can earn a year's money in one single night at the tables? Yeah, it's clever. Yeah, great point. Which makes sense. If you don't lose. The success earned him the nickname Lucky Luke and... That's a good nickname.

Lucky. Oh. Great. He began to really live the highlight of after this. Gambling, playing golf, driving power boats, sipping the best Russian vodka and driving an Aston Martin. It's for Martin, he. Shaking up still. Well, driving an Aston Martin is It's for Martini. Shaking up, Steve.

Well, driving an Aston Martin, that's what I was gonna say. Because he's been described as Debenair, wealthy, charismatic, he was six foot two and rocked a quote, luxuriant mustache. Luxuriant. Luxuriant mustache. Love that. Love that.

What does that mean? In terms of mustache, obviously, luxuriant is the word I use quite for you. Not in terms of. I am coming across it. I'm picturing it. That must mean big, right? It means fancy.

Fancy. So does it have a curl to it? It's this is what years this, like the 60s? I'm looking for, yes. This is the 60s. I'm looking for the dictionary definition luxuriant. Thick and healthy. Okay, he's got a thick star.

And nine for it. So he gambles, drinks expensive vodka, drives an astan mountain, sound like anyone else you know. Yeah. Matt. And you said he was like six foot. Six foot two? Yeah, and look at Matt's luxuriant, well,

stars. Attached to his even more luxuriant beard. Oh, yeah, I got a lot. He wanted a luxuriant on my face. Yeah, he's a luxuriant mustache. That's right. Attached to his even more luxuriant beard. Oh, yeah, I got a lot of luxuriant on my face. Yeah, he's a luxuriant guy. That's why I say I use that word a lot. It's a little bit like a friend Matt. I was thinking that here I'm under me of a certain character.

Yeah, me. Wait, I'm a sleeping. Is that what you're talking about? Remus Lupin, the way we're with. Yeah, the way we're with. Did Bond never have a moustache? I don't remember a Bond with a mustache. I feel like they must have toyed it.

Don't you reckon he could have if he wanted to? Ah. That's something about Bond. I forget you're a big Bond fan, David. I'm a Bond fan and this guy, John Bingham was actually considered for the role of James Bond. Really? No way.

But he declined producer Elberto Abrochale's invitation to do a screen test. Because he's not an actor, right? Yeah, not an actor. And he looked at the part. Wow, that's cool. So he got an invitation, which is? And the Aston Martin, that helps. Yeah, well, that's so...

Yeah, like, you could... Can we use Car as well? Can we use Car as well? That's... That's how Save us have been on hiring. B-Y-O-C-A. Yes. And yeah, it already plays Bond's favorite game. Yeah, there's Bond based on him at all.

No, Bond was around before this, but um. He was he based on Bond. I think he's made you a better question. But wow. Yeah, good question. What character have you based yourself on? Uh, Lupin. Mm-hmm. I I see that I know one character at a top Yeah, Lupin Charles Lupin or whatever. Remus. Remus

In 1963 John Bingham James Bond married Veronica Duncan in a star-studded wedding and they had an extravagant honeymoon on the Orient Express. Veronica Duncan is a fantastic name. That sounds like a character. Veronica Duncan. Oh that's good. And then the already expresses where Puyro solved a murder. Speaking of Luxurian mustaches. Yes. The groom's father gave him a large gift for the wedding, which was very welcomed by his son. He was supposed to spend it on a house, but he used a lot of it to pay back his creditors. Oh my God. He did buy a house. She's marrying into this.

That's good that he paid back some creditors. Yeah, huh? Things were on the other hand. He said, use it to gamble more. That would have been worse. You know, first thing, barefoot, if a vest it tells you to do is just wipe your dad's, you know.or tells you to just wipe your dad's you know right so I'm getting really your dad's And he's cool cool your credit is yeah, I'm wiping this We call to wipe this

I Don't I'm not gonna pay this anymore. I'm over it. There's actually been pretty stressful Pay it back. Oh, it's my out. I'm not gonna do it anymore. Okay. All right, but hurry Can city self-wifes? Doodles. So yeah, don't get, don't get on to me anymore, because this is done. We're done here. Okay.

It's been fun, but it's over. God, the gravy train is pulling out of the station, buddy. No, the best 12 bucks I ever spent on the barefoot investor. It's like me, milky. Honestly, I didn't realize it was that simple. Jeez, he's good. Bingham got an even larger financial injection when his father, the six Earl of Luke and died two months after the wedding, leaving his son are reported £250,000. Huge money.

It's quite a lot. When he's making $500 a hit, I'm not going to work anymore. I'm not going to work anymore. The younger being him also acquired his father's titles, Earl of Luchen, Baron Luchen of Castle Bar, the title in the peerage of Ireland dates back to 1691. So he was named the seventh Earl of Luchen. Right. There'd only been seven of them. Just 1600s.

It's got longevity in there, Jane. Bloody hell. can write. There only been seven of them. Just 1600s. Got longevity in their genes. Bloody hell, they live a long time. Maybe they were werewolves. Do they live a long time? Yeah. Who's the weird thing to be sure? I guess so.

You can't have a shim, they wouldn't, right? I mean, they're out all night. Eatin' goats. That's gotta take a toll. They're out all night in goat. Or eatin' the meat. Get some sleep, yeah? That sleep schedule, out all night in goat eating the meat. Get some sleep, yeah. That sleep schedule out all night, bloody hell, that'll wreck it.

I think I'm sure having good sleep cycles and all that does help with health and living a long life. So I think the werewolves need to take stock of that. Yeah. Maybe limit the all night goat eating. Yeah. You know, maybe we can schedule that for a brunch go eating. Yes.

Oh, that's good. Yeah. I don't know why you... Why are you so obsessed with night time? Yeah, why are you letting the moon rule, you know, your schedule? Have you heard of the sun? Yeah. You idiot.

The sun, you know what the moon's bright when it's a full moon? That's the sun. Try the sun. You're full sun. You like the moon. You're the sun again. You'll love the sun. Oh my God, we're going to blow your mind with the sun. Oh, the moon's not quite full yet, not bright enough.

Oh my God. Oh, really? I'll stop you right there. Have I got the thing for you? Max, you're lecture to a nocturnal animal. What are you doing now? What are you doing? Sleeping all day.

Yeah. You're wasting your day. What are you, a teenager? Fucking hell. Bloody, wasting your days away. Wake up, be productive. Okay? Let's get up at 6am, go for a joke.

Okay. Get the heart rate going. Yeah. And then we'll say you're gonna have a go for a brunch. Yeah, then you can have your goat. You're going to go. I personally won't have a goat. To be honest, I might have avocado toast or some ricotta hotcakes. Ricotta hotcakes.

You can have whatever you want. The hell of a sudden the Wolf's gun. Rukka? Rukka's a hotcake. Rukka's a hotcake. Rukka's a hotcake. Rukka's a hotcake. Rukka's a hotcake.

Rukka's a hotcake. Rukka's a hotcake. Rukka's a hotcake. Rukka's a hotcake. I'm so sorry Dave, but that was a tangent we needed to have for our werewolf list. It needed to be said. Yeah, I'm sick of him. I'm sick of him.

So he was named the seventh Earl of Lurken and with great tidal comes great responsibility. He feels like the kind of guy who is going to step up to responsibility. Back during this time and until 1999, pretty wild to me, an entitlement of all hereditary peers, which is Lords, all that sort of stuff, was membership to the House of Lords. Like Australia's Federal Parliament, the United Kingdom is divided into two houses. There's the House of Commons, the lower house, which is made up of voted in members of Parliament,

like our old mate John Stonehouse, so I talked about the start of the episode. Yeah. Boris Johnson, the current Prime Minister, all those sort of people they come from there. And then there's the upper house, which is the House of Lords, which like I said, until 1999 was made up of peers like Lord Luke and hundreds of other people.

People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world.

People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world.

People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. People just born in the middle of the world. He's a member. Wow. That feels right. The queen is our head of style. You know, very similar deal there. Yeah, it's a bit... Who's their head of style? I don't know. Ross, they should get their own queen. Anyway.

Yeah, we got this. She's actually English, really. You should get one out. I mean, have you met her? Yeah, you should get one out of that. I think she spent some quite a bit of her time in the UK. She's got a holiday house in London.

Yeah, she's got a home there. Yeah, I'm sure of it. She definitely has a bit of an accent. I think she's got a bit of an accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know when you had, when you move here, opposed to the age of like 15, and you don't lose the accent, I think she's, you know.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. She's like 90 something. She might even have a dual citizenship. Yeah, I think so. Wow. I don't know what passport she has, but she's probably got a couple. Fun fact. No passport?

No passport. The Saints won. The premiership in 1966. Wow. No, no, no, she doesn't know that passport. I just knew the people out there wanted that said. You feel that sometimes? That's why I said I don't know which passport she has.

Yeah, no, and that's why I'm like, people are gonna be bristling. I'm actually. Sometimes people don't like to read between the lines. And I appreciate that. If it could be said, let's say it. So yeah, he's just inherited this title. And he's now a member of the House of Lords and he's got a lot of responsibility

And he started giving more that money to buy house and he paid off his creditors So I assume now with all this responsibility He's gonna like settle on down and just be a really good a really good Lord whatever yeah Baron some dude Well Lord Lucan and his wife Veronica they had three children, Francis, George and Camilla. Good names. And he seemed to be on top of the world. For a while there it was going really well, he had money, a title and his gambling was was actually profitable for a bit.

He was on a winning streak. That's what. Lucky Lucan. Yeah, things were going well for Lord Lucan. I mean Lord Lucan is what a name. It's so good. Lucky Lucan, it's Luke is what a name. It's so good. Lucky Luke and it's all good. Lord Lucky, it's all good.

Lucky my name, but how long would this luck last? Oh, shim forever. I mean, you've already told us he disappears. I still think he became a werewolf. Yeah. Well, in 1969, our other, it's a good game.

Look, if it could could can be said. Our other mate the other John John Stonehouse became minister of posts and telecommunications under prime minister Harold Wilson, so he's up in the cabinet. He's doing very well for himself. He's a minister. Harold Wilson. He's from the crown coincidence. I think those are prime minister character on the grand court Harold Wilson well maybe it's um might have been based on a large yeah could have been on a large yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah also a gamble also a gamble right so he's a minister John Stonehouse but in 1960 90 also found himself in hot water when he was a cute what's this I'm falling in the bath I love it when we're in sync and we're crushing it today I prefer it when you're in bath bit of fun there in sync remember when we're in bath that was not we. We were in Bath together. I've been listening to, I'm listening to another Bill Brarson book where he's gone around England. And he's still winging about everything. I think I mentioned this on a recent episode. I was listening to

one of the bookies. He's an old, before his time, old Bill. Just like me, there's like, oh, this this town's changed. That's now there's a, there's a bloody hungry jacks there. Why not used to be That's now there's a there's a bloody hungry jacks there when it used to be a corner. I've never even been here before but this town has changed. But yeah it is making me go I want to tour around the UK again. There's this one line in it and I've been laughing about ever since. I need to talk to you and see if it is this funny. There's so much. The guy reads it isn't him, it's another guy who does a great performance. But he says something like, there's something marvelous about catching a double deck of bus.

The way you see a town, you see from a different angle, you can't see from any other mode of transport. As people get on the bus, you see the tops of their heads. And then as they come past you to sit down, you look at them as if to say, I've just seen the top of your head. What? What? I've just seen the top of your head.

That's so funny. Why is that funny? Oh, it's sad that it is. It's wild. So baffling that Bill Bryson wrote that. Yeah,, great line and then he read it back and went still good And then an editor read it and went that's great. I mean this ah and then in the audio booth when that Yeah, the person reading is read it out there like can you give us another one? Yeah, it's fucking so funny What a choice to make was he was he like short on words or something?

I've just seen the top of your head. I don't, yeah, I mean, I think because it seems like it's like, what? That's what's just so funny. What a funny thought. And then, oh man, I love it. It's really interesting. It's been a bit rough in the kind of stream of consciousness right at the right, any thought that comes into his head. Maybe. But I was, I only just sort of him because when we're in Bath and we did the tour of the old Roman Baths, one of the audio tours you could do was with Bill Bryson. Anyway, this is a side track. And it said, I've just

seen the top of your hair. See the top of your Roman hair. If you ever meet Bill Bryson, everyone out there knows Bill Bryson, maybe he's the neighbor of him. Just bend down. Let him have a, he loves it. Let's have a, the top of you. Let's have a look at the top. Let's respect the crown. So John's found himself in some hot water. Hot water, which is, oh my god. Well, he could have been in the bath.

When he found out the news that he was accused of spying for Czechoslovakia. Oh. Now, communist Czechoslovakia had been occupied throughout the Second World War. Ocupado. Oh. Oh.

He's hanging on, hanging on, hanging on. throughout the second world war a couple ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'll leave you to it. Because that what you saved somebody not to the toilet door? Yeah, I am big job. Big job. They'd been occupied by Nazi Germany. I'm never in the toilet, because I'm a gentleman. Never should. Stop trying to make it a thing. Dave said these reports actually quite long. Yes.

And we are having a good time. Sorry Dave. Dave's starting to have the sort of the look of a guest reporter who's just trying to get through it when the three of us are absolutely taken away. We're gonna shut up for a little bit. No, you don't need to. I enjoy hearing things like Bill Bryson's takes

on the top of the table. That is genuinely very funny. I think everyone has seen it laugh. I'm going to be out of sleep. And I haven't been able to sleep in about it. Did you get any sleep? No. I was almost drifted off and that sparked me right back up.

So funny. I'm enjoying this one more than his first one needs, but yeah, it's still it's still some stuff in it It's like this is some 30 year old takes because this one's from the 90s, but yeah, obviously the take of seeing the tough Sounds that's what it's this from the early 90s Anyway, Dave, please do go on. So he's been accused of spying for Czechoslovakia Who became part of the Soviet Union's eastern block on Europe was divided after 1945. As America and the Soviets tussled for world dominance during the Cold War, Britain, an ally of the US through NATO, sided with the former with America. So Czechoslovakia, you should not be sharing any information with them and that's what he's accused of.

A cabinet minister, he was accused of leaking information to the enemy, a serious allegation and one that John Stonehouse strenuously denied. Oh, that would be frustrating if... Is there any proof of this? Well, it's got to be part of the story here. Like obviously you get into that. Well, what are you shut up and let me tell you? I wanted to try the loot tool like you can get into the air. I could answer it now but that would kind of destroy this whole thing I've written. Why are you asking? Why are you skipping to that now?

What's wrong with you? Have you ever done this show before? I'm trying to create an intertwining narrative between these two shots here. That's so good. Dave, sorry, can we just get to the point? Guilty note. Dave, did he do it?

And why did he disappear? Why are we wasting all this time? Oh my god. If you know the answer, I'm ready to tell you. You are just yummy, yummy, yummy, all of that. Could this not be a paragraph? Give us a yellow there elevator pitch of this story. From the from the trop-she-a star, which is not

a good about this part, the MP was left fighting for his career, but remained calm under questioning by MI5's infamous Cold War officer, Charles L. Well, in the presence of Prime Minister Harold Wilson. So we got called in for a grilling with the Prime Minister watching on. He was questioned twice and extensively so but he denied all the allegations. He said, I am not a spy. The Prime Minister himself Harold Wilson denied the allegations in the House of

Commons and Stonehouse was never charged. But his political career was severely damaged. Oh no. It's hard to be associated with that kind of thing and do well afterwards. He fell out with the Prime Minister Harold Wilson. And when Labor, his party lost the 1970 election, he was kicked out of the shadow cabinet. So he lost his portfolio, which many also lost the extra money that went with being in that position. Oh.

So he basically got a bit of a demotion. Shit. Because of the allegations. So he decided to try and make money for himself outside of politics. Okay. Remember, he's got an economics degree, a high IQ and a pocket for the dreams.

Right, and he's also got a horse, he's gonna do pony rides. Yes, he's a thinker. Yes. What could possibly go wrong? He looked around your house, you go, what can I use here? Yeah, all right.

Okay, I've got a kettle, I can make cups of tea for people. Yes. I've got a horse, 10p a pot. What can I do for that? 10p a pot. 10p a pot of horse. That's catchy.

All right, all right, I can progress. 10p a pot, but if you want a horse and a tea, 15p. Yeah, there we go. Horse and tea, 15p, that's how I remember. Yeah. Perfect. He's a thinker. He's a thinker.

Well, he set up a bunch of businesses around the world, including an investment bank in Bangladesh. They all failed and he got into passive, massive debt. I was so they couldn't have a big deal. He's not done well. So, like, I set up a lot of businesses. Spent no time on any of them. Just said, but I said a lot of them up.

Spent myself very few. And waited. I'm sure one of them is going to become a billion dollar playing the odds here, playing the odds. Just have to wait for Google to knock on the door and try and buy me out. Yeah. Hyper global mega debt.

No, that's not a good idea for business. I put dad in the business. Well, have I said too much? Well, according to the independent newspaper, a fund he set up to help Bangladesh's victims of a hurricane had 600,000 pounds missing from its accounts. All up, he was, so that's terrible, obviously. Oh.

There's no one commented. I was like, we have to say. Wait, wait, is that good? Great. 600,000 pounds missing. Amazing. Great, you've sent that to? That's great. 600,000 pounds missing. Amazing. Great, you've sent that to people who need it.

Great. An all-up stone house was left with debts that were rumored to be about 800,000 pounds, which is equal to about 10 million pounds today. Okay, that's a lot of things. He's in serious debt. So, put that in AUD. That's like 20 million. 20 million.

Yeah, just under 20 million dollars. Yeah. Think about how many kids you could send to Eden with that Okay, it's Yes half her kids just pick the pick pick your boys To cover his debts he had to do a lot of creative accounting, which created another house of cards ready to fall on him at any moment. He created a house made out of cards. Yeah, that was one of his investments. That's a bad idea. He thought I'll be able to air

be and be this experience. Would you like to sleep in the, sleep in the king of hearts room or in the the ace of clubs? That's good, I like that. Oh, you're all two of Spades kind of guy, all right? So I just can't remember. Well, where would you choose? Oh, we're in a part over here. Oh, I can't. Ace of Spades with Lemmy. You're with Lemmy.

Safe. I'm a real nine of diamonds kind of guy. Yeah. Nine of diamonds, I like the specificity. Yeah. Me too. Ha ha ha. So he's got, he's in debt. He's doing this dodgy accounting.

He's accused of spying. He was also having an affair with his secretary Sheila Buckley. So his personal life's also in a bit of turmoil. He asked her to forge documents and listed her as director on the majority of his companies. And a fair was he married? Yeah, he married, he did marry and have kids. Yeah, right. So now he's in debt.

Having an affair, the politician's life was crumbling down around him. He was certainly in a bit of a tight spot. Wow. And this is all, this is all became about because he was accused of being a spy. Spine is sort of ruined his political career. Which, there's no proof of, by the sounds of it at this point.

At the moment, no. No, no, no proof. And he's denied it. His boss has said, no, it's bullshit, but then the boss has said, I can't have you being in my cabinet. Right, you're tainted. So he's still an MP, but he's just tried to branch out and make him a bit of money.

So, I mean, MPs have no idea. They could pay it okay probably. Yeah. But he was used to the high life. The high life. And he thought he could make the really high life. Yeah. Now he's $20 million.

Yeah. It's really backfired. I'm just so lazy. And not money motivated. So I'd be like, MP salary is still. All right. But you know, with that attitude, you'll'd be like, MP salary is too, alright. Okay. But you know, the thing is, with that attitude, Jess, you'll never be $20 million in debt, so.

Oh, I really thought you were going a different way there of like, I'll never be anything. Yeah, that's what you meant. You'll never be $20 million in debt. Hey, you're right. So I'll never care enough. Good for me. Look at me go.

Because both the people I'm talking about in this story, both kind of people that are like, attempted to risk it all to get more. Yeah. And let's see how that works out. Yeah, yeah. The gambling of life. Yes.

And in the game of life. And in the game of life. And in the game of life. And in the game of life. And in the game of life. So back to Lord Luke and our other guy, when we left him, things seemed to be going for this real, going well for this real life James Bond.

Yeah. The Lord and his lady Veronica passed every evening at the Clermont Club an upmarket gambling den on Buckley Square run by eccentric zookeeper John Spinal everything about that You went up market and then den gambling den. Yeah upmarket gambling den Run by the real roller. Run by the centrives, X-ring, Zooky. I know, you had never got to the zookeeper at that point.

X-ring, Zooky. Zooky, pretty straight down line, kind of, Zooky, but oh no. Oh, he's extension. No, he's extension. Yeah, he's got long hair. He runs a gambling do. Not to be confused with his tiger den.

You only make that mistake one. Left for the tigers, right for the gambling. All one. Left for the tigers, right for the gambling. Right for the tigers, right for the gambling. Oh, fuck! While Luke and Gambling ate the same dinner of smoked salmon and lamb chops at the clamond. Every night, same dinner. Yeah, it's very close to goat, isn't it? Yeah.

I'm thinking this guy's a well-loved. Yeah. Salmon Right? I'm thinking this guy's a well. Yeah. Yeah. You're salmon plus lamb equals go. Yeah. You get a real goat like consistency. I get it when you find something, you know, a particular restaurant, you're like, that was so good. I'm going to get that again. But every night, mix it up a bit. I didn't read this, but I get the feeling I get the feeling that he probably won the first 98. That was like, I've got that. I like Thomas. The salmon clots the lamp jaw. I forgot he feeling that he probably won the first 98 that I've got I like Thomas the salmon close the ledge I forgot his he's probably So he's absolutely plays havoc with my guts, but

But I want that one So he gambled often all night his wife was relegated to an Elko of clout Dave all night This is a werewolf. It's a werewolf. So I did read that he got up very late because the gambling, back in the day, it only opened late in the afternoon. So he would sleep majority of the day.

Yes. Yes, he uses a werewolf. Confirm. Crack this code. Wow, dad, you call that early. Good for you. God, you're gifted. Just get that you call that early. Good for you. God, you're gifted. Just get a sense for these things.

Yeah, and I never trust you, Adam. That's my mistake. So he gambled his wife relegated to an alcove in the club called The Windows Bench. That's in quotation marks here from the Guardian. As times went on, Lady Luke and became unhappy. Why? Because she has to go with him and just sit in a bench. Yes. It's boring. Why are you going with him?

Boring life also. It's a very up and down life. Sometimes he's up, sometimes he's down. You have a house. Stay there. Read a book. How long? But you've got to be there in case he bets the house. Right. Hey, John. No, no, no a book. I mean, how long, but you've got to be there in case he bets the house. Right. Hey, John.

No, no, no, no. Ah! Like, where the dog's going to piss on my hat. Leave it. Leave the house. For me and my three kids. John. John.

John. Sometimes I get over the warning and if they're not listening, John. Yeah, that scares him. The couple became increasingly estranged. Veronica suffered from postnatal depression and Luke and gambling addiction and waning finances really put pressure on their marriage. And in 1973, he moved out of the family home.

Luke and fear that his wife would win custody of their children in a divorce and deny him all access. Well, yeah, you sleep all day, gamble all night. I reckon probably, like when are you gonna feed him? I'll say it, bad dad. Wow, I didn't wanna say it, I didn't wanna say it, but I agree, bad dad. Well according to the Guardian,

his obsession with getting his children away from his estranged wife had led to him spying on her in a desperate attempt to discredit her. Why doesn't he just make a bet with her? Oh, he wins, he gets the kids. I bet the kids. Not Francis, here's my favourite. I love Francis. The other two, Camilla, who cares? Camilla and George, put them on the table.

Camilla will never make it a deed. Yeah. There was a messy court case involving private detectives and many of their friends. On the advice of his lawyers, Luchen conceded and custody of the children was awarded to Veronica with Luchen allowed access on the weekends. Losing the court case was a devastating blow to Lord Luchen, who because of his gambling losses was already struggling. The court case cost him another £20000 pounds and he was forced to borrow

money from many different people and all his bank accounts were overdrawn. And yet he continued to gamble. Chase your losses people. And to be fair, it was his job. So he technically is working harder than ever. I don't want to put a guy down for working hard for his family. Dave, I just got a terrifying flash of you as a problem girl, but saying that to your wife. Oh, babe, it's my job. If anything, I'm actually working harder than her. Babe, please never stop. I remember a bad feel. I got a flash forward as well there. Seeing David.

Yeah. David. Sweating middle of the night. Yeah, most people, if they pulled a 36 hour shift, would be praised. But I've shut myself six times on a table. Blossom, my life savings. And I come home and you're like, where have you been?

I'm the police. I've been a rich. It's in your bag. That's all about a shit. It been? I've been to the police. I've been to where? I've been to where? Shit, it's in your bag. That's all better shit. It's all I've got left, babe. All right. Is there anything to eat, please?

I've got a replenish. I've shied everything out. I've shied everything out. Also, we need to move the stuff out. The house is no other house. To be honest, neither is the stuff. But we do get to keep the kids. So he lost a lot of them.

Not gonna be much. It's been estimated that between September and October 1974 alone, the Earl, what are you loving? The people do, no success a success ship, they'd be priced. That's just a very funny thing. You also had it too quickly. You drew that thing out. I thought about it.

Anyway, sorry. I admire his work ethic. To be honest, you have to be working pretty hard to, in one month of 1974 alone, run up debts of around 50,000 pounds, which is equivalent these say to half a million pounds. So nearly a million Aussie dollars you lost in a month. That is very impressive. That's impressive. You are pulling, you are pulling six in our days. Yeah. That's huge anap. And then walking into the ocean. Fuck.

Fuck. We then come to a very fateful day in the story. November 7th, 1974. Lord Luchin had plans to meet conservative politician, Greville Howard. When I looked him up his stool, I... Greville. Greville Howard. At the looked him up his stool, I'd... Grewel. Grewel Howard. Right now.

At the Claremont... A lot, big, and gravel. Gravel. Gravel. Gravel. Gravel. Gravel. Come on.

Shoes on, please. Gravel's straight, Peran. I bet you two should go over there. Yeah, Gravel's straight. Fantastic. Fine for a straight, bad for a job. I love it. Gravel.

I'm not a favourite cafes. But Grewel Howard, he was going to meet him at the Claremont Club, which remembers the Fine for a street, bad for a child. I love it. Greville. I'm not a favourite cafe. But Greville Howard, he was going to meet him at the Claremont Club, which remembers the upmarket den at 11 p.m. but Lord Lucan never showed up. Well, he's finally gone to bloody bed. Hopefully. And a reasonable time. Be a wizard and a goat.

Frappuccinoing him. Lefty's watching home. Yeah. No idea what that is. Over in Belgravia, Lady Veronica was at home with her three children. Francis who was now 10, George who was seven and Camilla who was four. I thought they were real names. I missed that.

I thought you were riffing on the names. I like these ridiculous names. Francis and Camilla. No, that's what he's got to be. That's what he's gone with. Really gone with? Was the other one, George? Francis, George and Camilla. Yeah, right. Camilla's gone with. Really gone with? What was the other one, George? Francis George and Camilla. Camilla is the worst.

Francis and George are okay. I don't know like six seasons names. I only know one other Camilla. I'd be down the road. No Camilla Johnson. Oh yeah. Paisley Monbos. Lovely lady.

Lovely lady. Yeah. He's a pack of balls. Pack of balls. Pack of balls. Yeah, probably it's probably some on balls lovely. I was saying no I was saying Camilla pack your balls pack your balls We got the club. Oh, she'll be happy Ball bag special balls shoes Camilla So, Abby, should we ask you to choose? She's got a little bowl of fat, a special bowl of shoes. Camilla! Pack your mouth!

Which one is Camilla Parker? Well, I get her confused with... She married to Charles, and then who's the one who's married to... Who's the other one? Kate Middleton? No, Okay. Sarah Ferguson? Sturgy.

Yes. She's married to someone else. No longer married to Andrew. You break the news to me like this? Gosh, that's not the only use I've got about every century. He doesn't sweat. Good, I, unbelievable. So she's at home with Francis 10, George 7, Camilla 4.

Also in their house was their nanny, Sandra Rivet. The court had ordered that she had to have a nanny in the house. Why? I don't really know why, but that was part of the conditions. The 29 year old Sandra had been with the family for about nine weeks at that point. November 7 was a Thursday and Sandra usually had Thursday nights off to see her boyfriend John,

but she swapped that to see him the day before, but the two spoke on the phone at eight o'clock. She then put the two youngest kids to bed and then at about 8.55pm she asked Veronica if she would like a cup of tea before heading downstairs to the basement kitchen to make one. Veronica was watching the news on TV with a daughter Francis on the bed, the oldest one, in the master bedroom and wondered what was taking Sandra so long with the tea. She considered

sending a daughter down to check but decided to go down herself. This turned out to be probably a very fortunate decision. Because Lady Veronica got to the kitchen above the basement and noticed that it was completely dark down there, which she found very odd. She called out to Sandra, the nanny from the top of the basement stairs, and rather than a response her noises coming from down below. Then someone hit her, Lady Veronica, on the head at least four times. As she screamed out, her attacker told her to shut up, and she recognized the voices belonging to her husband, Lord Luke and Lord. Wow, classic werewolf ammo.

Couple of... Lord Luke and Lord. Classic werewolf ammo. Yeah. Couple of. Wait, so what? No, he'd snuck in and he did he know the nanny? I wouldn't know who she was. Yeah, so he, oh, so you assume he's also done the same to the nanny as well. Well, yeah, because she's in the kitchen at the top of the

stairs and spent, he'd on the head four times. Oh my God. Luke and says shut up. He tried to push it down the top of the stairs and spent hit on the head four times. Oh my God. Luke and says shut up. He tried to push it down the stairs into the basement, but she fought back managing to grab his testicles. Yes. That's where I would have gone for two. Straight for the ghouly.

Right on the nads. Come on. Kip out. That's try. Where will do we also have nads big nads. Oh, sorry.

Sorry being there. Okay, all right. They're real hanging target. She got his testies and he let it go and a great article. That's a very precious about your nothing. Oh, I'm actually, oh don't. Hey, I'm not fair. That's unfair.

That's not in the rules. That's not in the rules. That's a no no. No, no, no. That's a no no no. That's a no-no. That's a no-no. A great article from medium.com picks up the story here, and I'll link to all my sources in the description.

It says, she, that's Lady Veronica, said she begged him not to kill her, saying, please don't kill me, John. She asked where Sandra was, this is the nanny, and he responded that Sandra was dead and told Lady Lucan not to look. FUUCK! She tried to go along with him by asking what they should do with the body.

She tried to convince him that no one would miss Sandra, that the nanny had few friends, she told him that she would stay inside the house until her wounds at hill and no one would ever see them. Lady Lucan said he seemed to accept this and he asked her if she had sleeping pills. She told him yes, and he took her upstairs back to the bedroom, where he told Francis to leave and go to her own bed. Oh, that's the end of the medium bit. Lady Luchin lay down on the bed, and her attacker, Lord Luchin, gave us some sleeping pills.

He also made her lie on a towel to avoid staining the bed. But she thought if she fell asleep, he would continue to kill her, so when he went into the bathroom she made a break for it. She ran down the street to the plumber's arm pub. She was covered in blood and screamed, he's in the house, he's murdered the nanny. By the time the police got to the house, Lord Luchen had vanished. What about the kids? Well, with Lord L and Noah to be found, they did find the kids, they were all safe. Oh, God. Well, they also found the dead. I was like, good on you for making a break for it, but you've left the kids and a ass with him.

But they did find the body of Nanny Sandra and River. No. Who'd been killed with a lead pipe with a bandage wrapped around it. It was a grizzly scene with blood everywhere, scenes and photos, it looks awful. River's body had been placed by her attacker into a canvas male bag. So clearly he'd attacked her, and then when Lady Lucana come downstairs,

he sort of surprised, she'd surprised him, putting the body into a bag. And the theory is that because it was dark, he thought he was attacking his wife. Oh. Because it was completely dark in the basement. The light bulb had been taken out. What a fucking brutal story. What a twist this has taken.

Yeah, no, we thought it was such a silly goofball, just a rich, I didn't think, you know, thought he was just eating goats. Well, after the attack, Lord Lucan is down to a driven 42 miles. I think, you know, thought he was just eating goats. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha without an air. Leaving them in the early hours of the morning. He'd be healed, baby. He recounted to them, and to his mother and other friends in a phone call, and notes immediately after that he had happened across his wife being attacked by a stranger in the house. Before I drove across the country. Yeah, oh yeah, that makes sense. country. Yeah, oh yeah, that makes sense. And before he left Susan Maxwell's Scott's house, he wrote two letters to his brother-in-law Bill Shand kit. One was short and about money and upcane, an upcoming sale that would satisfy his

debts and the other was more personal detailing what happened, saying that he'd interrupted a fight and that now his wife was likely to accuse him of hiring a hitman, but it wasn't him. Wait, what? And that he asked the brother-in-law if he could take care of the children rather than leave him with his wife. What the hell is this with?

Fuck! I've just killed someone. Gonna write a couple of letters. That is so, your sister. She's gonna say, is that, is that, it's, it's her? Yeah, yeah, so he's. So your sister's gonna say, it was me. I'd hide a hit man.

She's crazy. Anyway, don't listen to her, your sister. Listen to me in a letter, I fled. But I'm right. Like most innocent people do, we love to flee. I interrupted somebody attacking my ex-wife. Yeah, so he tried to like plant the seed. And he even wrote the circumstantial evidence against me as strong in that Veronica will say

it was all my doing. That's not, why would you be talking like that? I mean, obviously, it wouldn't be. If that's what happened happened you would hang around You baffling absolutely baffling. Why would you well? It doesn't make any sense that he would have fled I mean, I know I before she accused me. I accused her she For some reason she's gonna accuse me say but it wasn't it was just some random What I think it's it and I ran away.

I think it's how to say, it's not thinking rationally at this point. That is a good point. Three days later, Lord Lukin's borrowed blood splattered Ford Corsa was found abandoned with a section of bandage lead piping in the boot at the cross channel port of New Haven in East Sussex. So it's right near, right near the channel.

And the media went absolutely bananas for this story. It was massive in Europe and right around the world. And Aristocrat, known for being the real life James Bond, a member of the House of Lords had probably killed someone and then disappeared. So like huge, tabloid story. Oh. Hi, I am Kendra Adachi and I host the Lazy Genius Podcast. A Lazy Genius principle is to decide once.

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Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu Back to our other friend, John Stonehouse, who had marriage troubles, money troubles, and just troubles in general, so he went on holiday to Miami. On November 20, 1974, just 12 days after Lord Luke and I disappeared, John Stonehouse went for a swim at a Miami beach.

He left his passport and his money in his hotel room, and he just went out for a swim. But he did not come back. Oh, he said Harold home. Yeah, you the way you reacted to that was like, there must be some money. Jesus, really similar. He's close and Tau were found on the beach and a full-scale search was launched but no sign of John Stonehouse was found. The difference is that Harold Holt didn't, as far as I can remember, didn't have huge debts and raising a disappear. It's just a passionate swimmer. Yeah. Like Lord Luke and it was another media frenzy. Had he drowned? Had he been killed by a shark? Was it more sinister? Had he been murdered? Did it have anything to do with Lord Luke and these two

MPs disappearing within 12 days of each other? Right, yeah, that's really, I didn't realize it was so close. And at the time the New York Times wrote an article that said, quote, at various times, newspapers have published in you windows linking him to the mafia, a checkers-lovak-spiring and the United States Central Intelligence Agency. Like how it hold did anyone suggest that a mini sub to go away. Check it out, it's sub marines. Stonehouse is wife, I know. What a weird motor transport.

Stonehouse is wife Barbara, who was the mother of their three children, spoke to the media and said that she thought it was a tragic drowning incident. Despite the fact that no corpse had been found, obituries were published. In the House of Commons, a ceremonial silence was held to mark the passing of the honorable member for Warsaw North. Everyone's like, it's gone. So, too... So, you went on holiday by himself. Yes. You didn't even take the kids. Yeah, without knowing.

Not dad. Much about it. Yeah. Yes. Didn't even take the kids. Yeah, without knowing. Bad dad. Much about it. Yeah. Wow. Ah, kids don't want to go to Florida. Is this episode gonna be called Too Bad Dads? Yeah. Oh, sorry. Kids, I'm just going to go to Disney World without you. I would argue one of them is worse, but they both seem pretty bad.

The one who went to Disney World. I'd say the murder are also very bad. But so yeah, okay. So this feels like without really knowing anything apart from the things Dave said today. It feels like he's faked his own death. Yeah, it does feel that way. Well, so two very high profile members of British Parliament, different houses,

disappeared in under two weeks. What the hell had happened to them? They disappeared, Dave. Dave, you just said that. You just said it. Oh, Dave, you okay? Oh wait, there's more written here. Wow, so I'm reading off a scroll and I just unfilled it a bit more. That's the trouble with scrolls, isn't it? What's this please turn over? Oh my god back of the scroll gets the day with scroll Back of the scroll The story picks up five weeks later on Christmas Eve 1974 right here in Melbourne Australia

or right here in Melbourne, Australia. You're the fuck, man. I love it when Melbourne's involved. I know, I just love it. I love it. I love the reference. I love to feel included. Yeah, this guy's born on your birthday. That's nuts.

A policeman was tipped off to a newcomer in town who'd been behaving strangely. The man was using the name of Clive Mildoon. This makes me love. Like a fake name. You can pick any name. Clive Mildoon. I think you can go to obvious John Smith or something. That's us.

But a name like Clive Mildoon, Fivy on top. But what's your actual name? What are you hiding? Somewhere in the middle, you know Michael Mildoot Milldoon yeah, you can't put Clive and Mildoon together Michael Mildoon Michael Mildoon. Yeah, that's good. That's got like that or Clive Johnson Don't it's my goody Michael Michaelson

Michael Michael ladies, I'm Greek. Hello. Hi, I'm Greek I'm Greek. Hello. Hi, I'm Greek. I'm Greek. I mean Michael. I'm Greek Michael. They call me Greek. That's a nickname. They give me around the places that I'm known. Them, they give it to me. Anyway, good day. Good day. So the man was using the name of Clive Mildoon, upper-class Englishman. He had been the... Hello! No, I'm not. I'm a dude. Charmed, I'm sure. He'd been noticed depositing $21,500 in cash at the Bank of New Zealand.

The teller, who handled the money, laid a spot at the same man at the Bank of New South Wales. But it was... The teller doing it. Yeah, it's weird. Checking out all the banks on the lunch break. Yeah. Got to check out the competition. Well, you moonlighting at the bank of New South Wales.

That is not on. It was discovered that this deposit was made in the name of Joe Markham. Okay. Yeah, that's a better. Is that better than the Clyde Mildoon? Joe Markham. That doesn't stand out to me. Yeah, whatever.

So it's reported to the police. It's a bit weird. They've got two different names, depositing large amounts of cash in two different banks. So Melbourne police got in contact with Scotland Yard and asked if they were missing, quote, any well-spoken upper-class businessmen in suits. Wow. I mean, come on, Melbourne police. Do a little more digging before you're like, you guys miss it anyone, can't a fancy. It's got, like, you know, it's like, we've got a strailer on the phone again. Oh, we've got this bloke, yeah.

Scott quite be a cash on him and he seems like probably be British. Do you know who he is? Well, of course, I got in contact with NIDA and asked if there's anyone who's good at doing in English accent. Scotland Yard sent a cable back saying that it was likely to be one of two men, either Lord Lucan or John Stonehouse. And the Aussies asked how they could quickly tell the men apart. And they were told that Lord Lukin had a six inch long scar.

On his dip. Well, on his right thigh. Right. In a dick. Well, on his right thigh. Right, in a dick. And Stonehouse did not. Okay. This is how they could quickly identify him without rousing suspicion. What, they couldn't just send back a photo. Well, no, this is,

before times it was hard, it was just like, send a photo. You know, email over a picture of it. But they both look about the same then obviously. One of those six foot tall. Probably you could Just grab a newspaper from the last month because there's a big story It's also like so if he doesn't have a scar on his leg

He's definitely imagine it's like it's it not one of them. Yeah, but that doesn't doesn't prove that it's the other girl Definitely not Lord looking luckily it could be Johnstone House or any other man Luckily, it could be John Stonehouse or any other man with that scar. Mildon was arrested and the officers ordered him to quote, pull down your trousers. Welcome to Australia. Oh my god, I've got him to attack himself. Yeah, not even doing the dacking. Self-dacking.

What are you reckon? Milliating. So any guesses on who this might be? I reckon. Oh. Well, they both posh. Both posh. Okay.

I don't know. One of them went out to see. I mean, that's how you get to Australia back then. You could have swam. That's very thin. Did I mention he was... Took it five weeks. That's probably about right.

That's probably about right. That's how you get to Australia back then. You could have swam. That's very thin. Did I mention he was... Took it five weeks? That's probably about right. Yeah, about right. I mean, she was the world's greatest swimmer. Five weeks to swim from Florida to Melbourne? That's probably about right? Yeah, that sounds a bit right, okay. A couple of restops. But I'm gonna say it's the murderer. I'm wild, I guess I'll say it's the other guy.

The swimmer. Well, the quiz will be one by one of you. Ooh. They pulled down his pants. One of them then. It's not just some other end of guy. Yeah, they pulled down his pants and they found he did not have a six inch scar. He didn't have six inches of anything.

They had just arrested John Stonehouse, the guy who disappeared in Miami. So the police officer said, you must be John Stonehouse. And according to his lawyer, Jeffrey Robertson, John Stonehouse pulled up his trousers, stood tall and proud and declared yes I am I am a member of Her Majesty's Privy Council and I demand my rights You suck you just had your pants down your ears. I'm glad as he's pulling up his pads. And I have a 140 IQ. I demand my rights and a cup of tea. And can you let me know what my rights are? What are my rights then? What are my rights?

So what are they? Yeah, I demand them. And I also demand to know what they are. Thank you. It became clear that Stone House had faked his own death in Miami and then secretly traveled to Australia via Hawaii, Singapore and Malaysia. It's a good way to do it. Beautiful way to say the world. And he'd used a false passport and had met up with his mistress Sheila Buckley.

She's gonna fit in here. She's gonna fit right in. Well, come on in. Why? I don't know. Australia does not feel like a good place to come to, I don't think. Why? Nah, good call. It just feels like, I mean, they're like, it sounds like they've got a good relationship, cop to cop, in the Victorian place over there, and all that sort of stuff. I don't know, it just feels like. Yeah, but what about the laneways?

Oh, coffee culture. He loves a coffee. He loves a coffee, the graffiti laneways. Gorgeous! Gorgeous. And the weather would probably be, you know, similar to the UK, maybe a bit warmer, but not too, it's not Queensland, you know, where that would just be blistering for a palm. And what about trams?

We're one of only several dozen cities in the world that have trams. And we're very proud of that. Yeah, absolutely sold a lot as a kid. But yeah, I would also say, how about you just deposit the money slower? Yeah. What is it burning a hole in your pocket? And this isn't like, you know, now we live in a fairly cashless society. Back then, just pay stuff in cash.

Cash forever. That's all right. He's made a... He's got an economic guy. He doesn't want to miss out on these sweet, sweet interests. Yeah. He did it once. He deposited one big chunk and they're like, oh, that's interesting.

But then he did it again with a different name. But isn't your mistress with you? Yeah. Get her to deposit some. She's not getting the attention. Can't trust her with the money. This guy is his cop. Absolute cop up.

Glad he sent it to the bank, she'll come back with a new pair of shoes. So, send him to the bank, and we'll come back with another failed business. Come back with a new pair of shoes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha His wife back home in England, however, was surprised as anyone that he was still alive. She had no idea. He considered resigning as an MP. He considered resigning, but what? This is the kicker's name. He's like his own death and moved to Australia.

No, this guy was... He's got it all backwards. He's got it all backwards. Maybe politics isn't for me. I'm gonna work remotely for Melbourne. Can you imagine, in those five weeks, that they're probably started, they've had it like a bi-elect, you know, whatever, try and fill that seat.

And how he's gone, I am a still an MP. Oh my God. But there's a rule in the UK that I was not aware of that an elected MP has no right to resign. Unless they die or are expelled, they must become disqualified if they wish to retire before the end of a parliament.

OK, now what qualifies you for disqualification? Faking your own death? That doesn't count. So since there's another rule that under, so you can't quit basically, you can't just go, I quit. Which can't, that's what the queen says to him. Which we, in Australia, absolutely can quit the parliament

if you want to. Should be able to quit any job. But there's also another rule that an appointment to an office of profit under the crown to qualify as an individual from sitting as a member of parliament. That's confusing, I don't understand. So if you get another job where you're making money from the crown, you can't be an MP

because there's a conflict of interest. So if you become the queen's personal bodyguard. Yes. You can't. You can't also be an MP. So what they do is they have a position called Crown, Stuart and Bayliffe of the Chilton Hundreds, which is an amazing title. And if someone wants to resign, they can apply to be appointed to this position and heaps of

people have done it, including former Prime Minister Tony Blair when he was in 2007 and when he wanted to resign. So change the rules. So it's this little sort of dance you have to do to be like, I'd love to apply to be that. Sure, no worries. Once you're there, they go, oh, actually, because you're that position, you can't be an MP anymore.

Now you can leave. And then you quit that job as well. Yeah. And then often, if multiple people want to quit in one day, you might have it for the morning. And then Matt will have it in the afternoon. It's such a strange process. There's got to just rewrite that rule. And who's got a quayna will approve that, won't you?

Or whoever has to? That's bad for me. And John Stone has, he got the paperwork to be appointed to the Chilton Hound, hundreds, and considered resigning, but decided against it. Oh my God. He was too proud. Too proud.

He's gonna keep collecting the check. According to the independent, he came up with a shallow defense. He said that he rapidly said about constructing a defense. Clamie had been facing black male from South African business partners and it suffered a brainstorm in Miami. So he basically said, I had a breakdown, but I'm still an MP. He tried to avoid extradition, so he still wants to be an MP but stay in Melbourne. I mean, yeah, the language.

The coffee. The coffee. But he got six months of the trams because he's eventually taking back to the UK to face trial, but he still refused to step down as a member of parliament. And you ask what it takes to get sacked. His party who are in government couldn't get rid of him because Stonehouse held the balance of power in Britain. If he resigned or was fired, the government would lose their majority. They only had a one-seat majority. So they

had to be, basically he could call the shots. As long as he wanted to be in, they were like, oh, we can't get rid of you. Despite being imprisoned in Brixton awaiting trial for 18 charges, he was still a member of parliament. He was bailed in August 1975 and gave a speech in parliament two months later, although he was shunned by the other members. No one wanted a piece of him anymore. He went to trial, which lasted 68 days. His lawyer, Jeffrey Robinson, who would later go on to be a very successful human rights barrister, advised his client to plead guilty and get a lesser sentence. But Stonehouse was again too proud. He fired his lawyer and decided to represent himself. Of course he did, he's from high IQ.

That always adds well, I love it. And rather than being cross-examined, so you don't want to take questions instead, he gave a statement that went for over 30 hours. He feel a bus. He just kept talking shit. I hate him. What? I couldn't have a statement. What else?

What else I want to talk about? What are you doing? Hey, what are you doing? I'm the judge. I know Oh, yeah, judge. Oh, yeah, judging you look pretty judging. Yeah, get a laugh at it. All right, um What about you? What do you do bailiff? Oh, okay, uh, ba ba ba. Yeah But yeah, all right nothing there. All right. Um, who we got? Who's in the audience tonight? Ah, jury number one. Not surprisingly, the judge was not impressed with this arrogant man.

And when he was inevitably found guilty, he was sentenced to the full seven years in prison. I'd be a horrendous judge. As soon as anybody vaguely arrogant came in, I'd be like, death. LAUGHTER That left with his head. I've got just, we don't do that anymore. OK. Death. I mean I'd be like death. That's what he's here. I've got just we don't do that anymore.

Okay, death. Death to you as well. And death to you. Life in prison. He's just like he's just a little bit of tax fraud. Death. Get out of here. Next. It's of here. Next. It's been nice person. So he's found guilty. Seven years he could have got to the lawyer reckons if he if he just played guilty,

but played guilty. Too proud for his own good. It still took him 11 days after the conviction to resign as a member of the Prairie Council. So he's trying to hang on as an MP, despite being sentenced to seven years jail. This forced Prime Minister James Callahan to form the liberal labor pact to stay in power because they lost the majority. Right. And then Margaret Thatcher later took over. His wife Barbara, who despite the fact that he'd faked his own death to be with another woman, sat quietly by him during the trial. Barbara. Barbara. Barbara.

Cut him loose. But she did quietly divorce him when he was jailed. So I heard an interview with the lawyer years later saying that he was like, she was one of the most impressive stoic women I've ever seen. No, no, no, no, no. She just sounds very British to me. Yeah, she's a quietly, a quietly man. She's sat there.

By the scenes gun you fucked up. Yeah, because I think also quietly sat there. By the scenes going, you fucked up. Because I think also his lover, Sheila was also in the courtroom. So how awkward. Oh, that sucks. I don't know if this is actually true because the only place I saw it was on this new website called wikipedia.org. But apparently, quite whilst in prison, he complained that the prison workshop where he worked played pop music on the radio station. Uh. Didn't like that.

Not in 70s pop, or even glam. What are we hearing? Ah, one of rock and roll, oh no! I can't stop it! And party, every day! That's fun. That guy's got no soul. Fuck this guy.

He did write, his brother wrote an unanswered letter to the home secretary complaining about John's state. He said, quote, Now it is a sad fact that John is put to work cleaning out the lavatories, a job considered light duties. And he carries out these tasks with his usual thoroughness, no doubt. So he cleaned a toilet real good. He's proud. He's going to clean that bowl. Suffering increasingly from a heart condition, Stonehouse served three years of his seven-year sentence before being released from prison early on, Grans of Health, after which he married his secretary, Sheila Buckley. So she stuck by him.

Stand by your man. Even-ma-na-na-na-na-na. Even when he's in prison. I think that's how that goes. Yeah, beautiful song, beautiful. I got nothing against staying with people while they're in prison. I'm just saying this guy sucks. In the final years of his life, he wrote three novels and made media appearances mostly to discuss his disappearance. That's why he was most famous for.

So, be on chat shows and they're like, oh, the man who effect his own death. I was a spy for Czechoslovakia. I'll say about that. I wrote three novels. I'm interesting. I'm cool. Yeah, like, you know, when someone's doing a press tour

for a book and people just want to ask them about this thing they're famous for in the 80s, they're like, oh, do the voice. Oh. I just wanted to go out the book. My publicist is making me do this. Can't I don't do that voice anymore?

Quite a serious artist now. Yeah. Yeah, like Steve Martin promoting like a bandro tour or something. Have you ever thought of going back, back going back to comedy? Yeah, yeah. Fuck. On the 25th of March, 1988, Stonehouse abruptly collapsed on set during an addition of central weekend in Birmingham during the filming of a program about missing people. So that's so that was a wheelie amount. He was hospitalized, discharged, but three weeks later he suffered

another massive heart attack and he died for real this time. Okay, are we sure? The Guardian ran a headline that said, Stonehouse, twice born, twice dead. Twice born? Honestly, if we wanted to link it back to James Bond, it should have said, you only lived twice. Oh, yeah.

I think quite good. That would have been way better. I would have been out by then too, so. Come on, guys. Come on. Twice born, twice dead. Yeah, no, I don't know. I can't get it.

Because what do they say, and it was reborn in Melbourne? Yeah, as loose as an endless tenuous. Yeah. You only live twice as better. Yeah. I reckon I would have won the pitch that day. Yeah, they fought. You only die twice. Yeah, well. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. That's correct. I want to one the pitch that day. Yeah. They've only died twice. Yeah. Well.

Yeah, that's good. Maybe. No, it's no. No, that implies he's dead. I like it. So that's not an implication. So that's John's Stonehouse, but what happened to our old mate, Lord Luke and Eden Goats? Well, he went missing at midnight, November 8th, 1974. He left without his passport, checkbook, all license, and his bank accounts were never touched again. A large search was undertaken, tracking dogs were used locally and it became an international man hunt. But despite this, no definitive sign of Lord Lucan

has ever been found. That's right, this is a mystery episode. Wow, that's, ah, justice was a mystery episode. Wow. That's, oh, justice was not done in this case. He's the one you really wanted to be found. That's a shame. Over the decades, hundreds of sightings have been reported. He's been spotted as a waiter in San Francisco,

managing a close shop in South Africa, living in a neo-Nazi colony in Paraguay, living as a hippie musician called Jungly Barry in Korea. Backpacking on Mount Etna, working on a sheep station in the Australian Outback, or being fed to Tiger's name Zora at his old mate Aspanol Halitz Zoo. Being fed to Tiger's are like that. Yeah, I mean, all of those, especially being becoming food, would be a real change of direction for you. It's a real change up. He's never been food before. Aspenold, who owns the zoo and also the market den,

reportedly responded when questioned about this. He said, my tigers are only fed the choices cuts. Do you really think they're going to eat stringy old lucky? Ah, that's great. Little fun. Yeah, great. Cup that. Call it if you'll meet. No good. No good.

Not enough for my tigers. No, thank you. Honestly, he's been spotted all over. And even now, people have these little theories and investigations. And periodically, he still makes the news. Roger Woodgate, an Englishman who lived in a land rover in New Zealand, with a goat called Camilla. What? So I'll go and also it's called Camilla's daughter's name. What? Was a kid to that man was accused of being Lord Luke in 2007, although he was 10 years younger and five inches shorter. Well, I mean, they can fake that. They can definitely fake that.

His drink is UA. And he can lock up five inches. And he might have had good moisturizer, good skincare routine. But he was found living with a goat. Wow, that's wild. Is it, you know the phrase, blow goats or something like that? Go blow a goat.

Is that a saying? In Wayne's world it is. Wayne's world, right? You remember? He was on the side that says, this guy blows goats. I have proof. He was right. I was saying it was

used once and I knew I was familiar somewhere. So he's still being spotted. It is recently his 2020. So last year there was a report that he was alive and living in Perth. He's once in a while, I knew I was familiar somewhere. So he's still being spotted. It is recently his 2020. So last year there was a report that he was alive and living in Perth. And the discovery was reported by Neil Berryman, who it turns out is the son of the nanny Sandra Rivet,

who Lord Luke and had murdered. How? Neil found out about his birth mother's death only after his adopted mother died. So he'd been adopted. Right. And he never knew. And now he's trying to know. And now he's like, he found out and he's cracking it. You're right.

Neil claims that he had discovered his mother's murderer living in Perth as an elderly Buddhist man in a share house. If he was still alive, he'd now be 86 years old. Wow. First possible. It's not the first time he's been linked to Perth. A book published in 2003 by a former Scotland Yard detective claimed the fugitive aristocrat was long, was a long-haired alcoholic banjo player called Barry Helpen who had played in a Perth group called the Mucky Duck Bush Band. Mucky Duck Bush Band. So is there any way that they can, that'd be able to prove it? Do they have his DNA on file or anything like that?

What? It's never been definitively proved. His wife Veronica Luke and dismiss all the claims over the years as nonsense. Reiterating that a husband was quote, not the sort of Englishman to cope abroad. Oh my god, an incredible bird. So good. That's great. Oh yeah, he's got to go to Australia.

Is he okay? Yeah, he's on a sheep's stage. Yeah, sure good. That's great. Oh yeah, he's got to go to Australia. Is he okay? Yeah, he's on a sheep's stage. Yeah, sure. Oh yeah, he's living as a Buddhist. Okay, sure.

He's got long hair. Okay. She always thought that he'd probably jump to his death from a fairy and that his body had just never been fair. Right. That was her theory. Yeah, I suspect that he's died somewhere. An inquest was held in 1974 and named Lord Luke and is the murderer of Sandra Rivett, so they had an investigation. It's not quite

a trial because he's not there. But most people's theory is that he mistook the nanny for the wife, bludgeoned the wrong person, and then realized that the net was closing in. And his motive was realized that the net was closing in. And his motive was, getting his kids? I'm a bad dad. Yeah, paranoia that she would take the kids away from him. But the court had said, you can see your kids on the weekend.

Yeah, and all of his behavior was, I don't, I'm not in this, you know. Like it's not like it was her, it wasn't her fault that he was gambling all day and night. No, I want these kids, because I love kids, so I'm going to traumatise them by killing their mother. Yeah. He was declared dead in 1999, but a death certificate wasn't issued, which meant his son couldn't inherit his father's titles. Oh.

This changed in 2016 when the death certificate was finally issued and his son George was able to become the eighth Lord of Luke and he's still alive as the eighth Lord was the Was it 99 a coincidence that was also when the House of Awards was ended? So he said before Yes, I think no, it's over the years that his son had put because he'd become an adult in that time, kept pushing to say, look, he's probably dead. And apparently, they did keep it open. They didn't issue a death certificate for a while, I think, to help out Lady Veronica. So that she was able to get financial support. Yeah, okay.

Right. And then once the kids are grown up. So yeah, his son speculated in 2016 after being, he went to court lots of times to try and get the death certificate issued. And when it was, he thinks his father died that night, probably ending his own life. He remarked,

to hear that your father is racist, a snob, a poster boy for the aristocracy in the 70s, didn't sit very well with the rather charming, rather lovely and kind man that I knew. Nevertheless, people, if they leave a party early, get to be speculated about, don't they? So he said, so he's now living as the 8th Earl of Luchin. And just as post-script on the other guy, John Stonehouse.

Remember how he was accused of being a spy for Czechoslovakia? Yes. Well, it wasn't until 2010, 22 years after he died, that declassified documents revealed that he was, in fact, a spy. Oh, it wasn't until 2010, 22 years after he died, that declassified documents revealed that he was in fact, in a spy. It was revealed that then Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher had agreed in 1980 to cover up revelations that Stonehouse had been a check spy since the 60s as there was insufficient

evidence to bring him to trial. When he was junior minister for aviation, it is alleged he was paid 5,000 pounds, the equivalent of nearly 71,000 pounds in today's money for crucial information on Britain's planes and future aviation plans. Wow. Was he motivated to buy just the money? Or did he actually, was he trying to support the checkers of fucking calls? Now he was was always looking for a way to make extra money. Right. Whoa. And then so Margaret Thatcher and knew about it but then look, it's what's the point

in now. He's an old dying man and also we don't have enough evidence to give him to trial. So she agreed to just hush it up and there was only we found out decades later. And he amazing that he, yeah, and he was already in jail for other things at that point right? Yeah, he'd already been to jail, yeah. And it'd been released from prison because of his condition, yeah.

So she thought, let's not create scandal. I mean, that's the big, that's another, well, he was the gambler? No, he was the businessman. But that's a gamble that didn't pay off, right? If it was just for that five grand, I mean, it cost him his job and everything. Yeah, that's what spire and everything out of control. But actually in your head somewhere you're going, is this the right thing to do? It's worth it. It's worth it.

The confirmation that Stonehouse was a paid spy for the checks also makes him the only British politician to have acted as a foreign agent whilst a minister. So that's probably a claim you don't want to have. In the Guinness World of Zelda. Yeah, good for him. What a title to have. So there it is. That is my report on the two disappearing MPs, two very different guys who just both happened to disappear within the same fortnight in 1974. Yeah, amazing that I mean that feels like two full reports. Yeah, I mean, I didn't know that.

Did try and put two stories together. Yeah, great work Dave. Yeah. It's just the coincidence of it blew my mind when I discovered hang on because Lord Luke and John right. Yeah, that is what hell. Lord Luke and Spins suggested a whole bunch in the hat because that's quite a famous story especially in the UK, the fact that you know he murdered the nanny and disappeared. But when I found out about the other guy I I was like, well, I've got to mention him as well. And then it sort of blew out of control and I just reported on. That's amazing. Great job, Dave. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Really tragic stories. Yeah. But yeah, wild stories too. Great stuff.

And now it's time for everyone's favorite section of the show where we have to thank our supporters. And you can get involved there at patreon.com, such do go on pod, or do go on pod.com. And there's all sorts of rewards you get for supporting the show, including three bonus episodes each month. We do an extra report, much like the normal show. We also do a quiz or some other such thing and we do an episode of our Frazing the Bar podcast,

which is podcasts that goes through the films of Brendan Fraser, the greatest actor of all time. Oh, that's what we thought when we started the series. Hey, don't worry, we've got George the Jungle coming out this month, we're all good. And... Actually, I just watched it the other day. I was bored. I was home alone. I was looking for something to watch I was on Disney plus and I was like, fuck it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Still good. It is still good You love to hear it. The first thing we like to do though when we

Thank our supporters is do the fact-quot-a-quest section, which has a little jingle to go something like this. Fact quote a question. You always remember the ding. And the way to get involved in this is to go to one of those websites, get involved on the Sydney Shindburg level, then you get to give us a fact quote or a question. You also get to give yourself a title, and then I'll read four of them out each week. I don't read them out until I read them out, so I don't know what's coming, no one else does. No one else does. No one sees it coming. So just sit on the

edge of your seat with me. As I read out this one from Michael Derrizzi, who's given himself the title, Chiefs Half-Time hopeful. Oh, okay, it makes more sense on to you. I'm like the Chiefs there and an NFL team. I mean, the Kansas City, Kansas City Chiefs are the champions. He's given us a fact here, and the fact is, I'm writing this during half time of Super Bowl 55. So this is from a while ago. I've started trying to separate him, so it's not,

it's not when they come in. I'm trying to like sort them out so that everyone gets a go before we go back around or whatever. So Michael's prolific fact-quite-a-question. I love your work, Michael. So you're right. So I'm writing this during half time of Super Bowl 55. My chiefs are down by a score of 21 to 6. I might be having a mat like day tomorrow if things don't turn around. I will always strive for the crunch. The year before my team, the 49ers, lost the Super Bowl.

And in the, I mean, either way, I was having a few beers and then I had to rush here and do an episode about the fabulous cook, Julia, child. Very good. Child. Child. Child. Children would be the plural. Thank you so much for that fact, Michael.

Fantastic fact. They didn't win, they did that. No, they didn't. Oh dear. But they won the year before. They, they, the year that I did Julia child, they won that day. And then they give that young unknown Tom Brady ago

at winning? No, that Tom Brady beat him That's what I mean. Oh, yes Rather going rather than selfishly going back to back they let this young up start have a ring for the first possibly First his first race. Hey, you love it Try to do an NFL drug didn't quite work, sorry, I'll stick to my legs. It did, I just did not understand. It did, Matt, even I got it. I did not understand by Sik English there.

When he said, they let him have a go, I thought you meant on their team. They're tame. But that was silly by me and I'm embarrassed by it. Yeah, you should be. Thank you so much, Michael, for that fact, the next one comes from Colin and Lee Wright, who have given themselves the title of Pat Patrion fact-quotal question well repair technicians. Oh we need that we need water. I'm so thirsty. Thank you Dave it was funny. That's funny.

Colin and Lee have written a question and it goes like this, I don't know if you've already been asked this but if each of you wrote a book what would it be about? Sometimes I, Colin, think about writing a book about family and how crazy family life dynamics and drama can be. I live somewhere for a while where folks would have to leave their family for long periods of time as migrant workers in another country. They would sometimes start whole other secret families

and have kids in both countries. Often the families would find, are you talking about other people here, Colin? Or is this a confession? My friend. Often the families would find out about each other. And I think there are a lot of poignant stories to be told there

Through the lens of a fictional novel, but then I'd be appropriating other people's experiences and profiting them off them So maybe not Colin I think I think you're allowed to find real life. I don't I don't actually don't know what they What the rules are there feels like you're you're allowed to be in Spiper Rillsto's, but we're not. I, Lee, would write about Spanish colloquialisms and all the different regional and cultural sayings. I learned Spanish and lived around a lot of native speakers from all over the world and the different turns of phrase are fascinating.

For example, some people from Mexico told me how when you see a girl you find attractive, you ask what time she goes for bread, which I think is beautiful. I do. Thank you so much to Colin and Lee for answering their own question. That's something we ask. If you do ask a question, the fact quote- a question, section you answer. They're two very different books and gestures. Dave, you must have thought about this. You're a book lover, you've got a book show. Oh, gosh, I don't know.

Maybe, they often say, right, what you know. Yeah, you know. So you're writing about having a little dick. It's your life with a tiny dick. And not a little dick. It's called my life with a tiny dick and novella. Halfway through I was like, are you gonna say it just? That's really. You're gonna say it. The opening line is, it's really small.

Like, really small. That's funny. Sorry. I'm all met like like playing in a band or something. Yeah. I don't know. The weight on a story. Or you be a fictional. What about my tiny dick in brackets? The weight on a story. That's what you call you. A little weight on it down there. What about you, Boppa?

Bananas. Book about banana facts. No. Oh, like a fictional sloth of the banana. I'm not giving too much away, because you're going to steal it. OK. But it's going to be a best seller. Bananas.

It's allegory. Oh. That's really clever. Thank you. Have you read, rang the Corey hotline recently? Story. Have you read rang the Corey hotline recently? Story here are some words that rhyme with Corey story Laurie Allegory

That's good fun. What do you met book book about? Oh once I had a note or I thought it was such a good idea for a book at one point. I had this note read down I'm like wonder right this book and and I saw it in it. I was going to do note pads recently I'm like that's not anything. I was like and I said it was it's called In a Loop and I was about a guy who was caught in a loop. Everything. He had songs, flipping through his head, but his life was also in a loop. Oh. He could eat every day back around at the same spot. No, it feels like that, doesn't it?

It was like that last time. I mean, you do, because you go back to your bed every... Right, I mean, a lot of ways, life is a loop. Yeah, life is a loop. He also worked in a noose factory. I'm just riffing here. But he was a cowboy. A lot of subtext there.

Yeah. He was a cowboy. A lot of subtext there. Yeah. He wore big dangly earrings. There were loops. Okay. Yeah, okay. Got you. Oh, there are hoops.

Oh, hoops. Yeah, but it's a similar. I mean, I get it. They're both hoops. Yeah, they were. And he made a lot of mistakes. Yeah, all right. I'll write a book about the history of the St. Kittelford book.

All right. Thank you so much Colin and Lee. This one's from Sophie Chuta. Oh, shoot her. I always get it wrong and I always sing against myself. Sophie, I'm sorry. Sophie is giving herself the title, group mum, hydrate, get an early night, and for goodness' sex, quiet down, quiet down on. Make you go next door and apologize for the noise. Maaah maa. Thank you Sophie. Sophie's asked the question as well. Sophie's question is, do you have a quote from a TV show

you use all the time? I use a few, but the Grandpas Simpson quote, a little from Colombe, and a little from Colombe comes out my mouth several times a week. Can I come to something to be there? Oh, I definitely do. I can't think straight off of my head, but yeah, heaps. Yeah, I do too, and I can't think of any now either. Dave, kick us off. I always just say, no, my son is also named Bort.

That's my gonte. It's like saying, that comes in handy all the time. Yeah, that's good. Now I'll save a son named Bort. So funny. What about you, Bob? Nah, I can't think of any. Yeah, assume since once, you'll have to speak up

I'm wearing a tail. It's got to be stuff from Parks and Rec that I save it. From Pugwall Summer, sometimes I'll say, we're given the old key change trick. That'll get him. No, no. In this episode there was a kid show in the 90s about an Aussie band of teenagers and they were called the Orange Organics. And at one point their school principal wanted his nephew to sing in the band and he was

awful. He was a real dog. So they go, we'll use the old key change trick. That'll get him. And they play this song and they just keep looping it around looping oh my god can I use this? Are they uppercay each time and he's gone? There was something There was something

I'm sorry, I can't go on and they got him and then they're seeing it came back in and then they started rocking Yeah, what was that? I'm sorry, I can't go on. And they got him and then they're seeing him came back in and then they started rocking. Yeah, they got him. I don't know why they came to mind. I would never say that, but. Try again, I can use that in the wheat on the story? Yeah. I'll be using it in banana.

Yeah, you don't need no ideas. I don't need it, I'm gonna fuck it, I'm gonna be rich. Oh, yeah, that's the kind of one I'll notice them all the time. Yeah, yeah, heaps. From now on. One that my brother and I used to say a bit was like cross the teeth and dot the lower case eyes. That's from Wayne's World.

Where's all two? Yes. Wayne's World, hey, I'm in devil. Yo, I love saying excuse me. Yeah, baking powder. Yeah, that's full. me. Yeah, baking powder. Yeah, that's full. Yeah. Creepable bomb.

I never got that. I felt so that I was very funny until I saw the ad. What about Will Garth? He sleeps with that beautiful woman and he helps out the robe that I saw. It says, good morning darling, I trust you slept well. And he's blowing a little bubble. I say that a bit too. Good morning darling.

Yeah, oh, it went well so far. Yeah, mean girls in there a lot too. Anyway, lots. There's a diner carvy stand up that gets in my head sometimes and I'm cooking dinner. He talks about, I can't remember the vegetables. So it's not worth saying, but it...

Fuck. There's one where Gath does a big drum solo in the shop. And somebody's like, that was amazing. And he's like, I like to play a lot too. Yeah, that's good. Okay, so Wayne's world. Yeah, it was quite. We've gone off track a bit.

Did they ever do a TV version of that? Anti-dentive? They ever do a TV version of that. It was adapted from the TV set, and it was scared. Yeah, it's really made a full of myself there, Dave. I'm glad you found that so amusing. This is full. The midden realizing came from a mess of L-skit.

Come on, that's pretty funny. Got him. Fuck yeah. You thought you were sassin' me on the Sess twin episode? I ain't let that go. That was really embarrassing for you, Dave. All right, and the next one is from... Excuse me.

Surage Pyrus, which is said like penis. That's how he told me it's pronounced, and I have to think of that every time. Pyrus, penis. Okay. As in it said like penis, it's pronounced penis. Oh, I always assumed he meant penis within our, but yeah, maybe... I think it's probably penis with the R. So, so Sir R is finally, he's got a quote, but his title is, possible record holder for

dialing the Victorian vaccination booking hotline. Oh. Yeah, that sounds frustrating. Sir R. I work with him and says that she called 300 times before she got there. Oh, what? I work with her and it says they called 300 times before they got through to the vaccination. Just read her. Read her. Read her. I'm not doing that 300 times.

Yeah, that sucks. So,, so, Surage has a quote, and it is, if you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. That's the Dalai Lama. Yeah, that's great. See, Dave, you tell it to your penis. Doesn't that, does sound like, does sound like the Dalai Lama is like saying fuck

of a mosquito? Yeah, the Dalai Lama has absolutely banged a mosquito. Yeah. That is. Sleeping with a mosquito. I find that. That's beautiful. At least the mosquito prick and make y'all look big.

Oh, would it? What? No. I don't know how we got here. We all know does. It's gonna huge long. Too big. Add it.

Add it all of that out if you need to. And probably do. All right. Nah. So the next thing we love to do is thank, sorry, I should say thank you so much to Sorage Sophie, Colin Lee and Michael for their facts, their quotes and questions. Get on it, digonpod.com or patreon.com slash digonpod if you want to get involved in that. You can also, if you're

on the shout out level, get a little shout out, which we'll do now. Jesse normally come up with a little game for us here. Oh, where have they fled to? Where have they fled to? Fantastic. No, or their fake name. Oh, what was the fake name, though? Where they're trying to open a bank account. Oh, is it Clive Milldoon?

Clive Milldoon. Clive Milldoon. I don't know, is there something better there? Probably. I think fake names is fun. Fake names. All right, so first, I'd love to thank from Nagata in Japan Tom Jenkins.

Tom Jenkins. Tom Jenkins is already a pretty good. It's a great name. How's your Japanese Dave? No good. I mean I did the five years of primary school. Yeah. I remember Pinku and RNG. Pinkin, aren't you? Okay. So what's double-odd? You know what double-odd would do to a place name? I'm not sure if it's Niga, I don't know. Okay. Well anyway, thank you so much Tom Jenkins or fake name. Gary Sunday

Spell E or why on the end Sounds delicious I'll have a Gary Sunday. Yes, please Gary Sunday welcome Thanks. Thanks. Oh, Gary Sunday. Gary Sunday. I think Tom's Gary Sunday. Gary Sunday. I think Tom will be stoked with that. That's back up up. Thank you so much to you, Tom. I'd also love to thank from Upper Hut in New Zealand. Cat. No surname. Oh, dog. Oh, just one name. Cat dog. Dog, dog, Johnson. Dog Johnson. Wow, dog Johnson. How's it going? Dog Johnson, nice to meet you. It's a complete opposite of cat, so...

Don't know. Nobody on the opposite of not having a last name? Johnson. Some in Dave doesn't know. Dog Johnson. How are we here? The opposite of not having a last name. He was John Senn. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's great. And finally for me, I'd love to thank from Austin, Texas. Beautiful Austin, Texas, stay weird. That's what they say. Justin Leach. Brandon Thunder.

Oh, Brandon Thunder. Rice Car Driver. That is hot. That's what, that's his cover. Yeah, drive cars. He's real bad at it. He's like, yeah, I'm a championship per rice car driver. That is hot. That's what that's his cover. Yeah, drive cars. He's real bad at it He's like yeah, I'm a championship per race car driver. Give me a car. You're a car. I'll drive it fast Stack it again Stacked it. Stacked it in the car. It's very funny because that's like like fell off a scooter like a roll. It's stuck.

I don't know what, well, bass. The attainers bass. Stacking in the car is so funny. Oh, my stomach. Okay. Who's taking some people down? I'd love to, if you don't mind, I'd love to thank from Great Britain in Great Britain. Oh my good. Ato extra. I don't know, that is Thomas surname with held.

Okay, so Johnson. Something Johnson. That's the opposite of Thomas Frog Johnson, a mame Frog a mame, oh frog John frog a mame Johnson frog a mame John It's great. I'd like to open an account. All right. What's your name frog a mame Johnson? What are we are we doing office? The opposite of Thomas and he said frog. And then he just went, I'm on my, I was in his own. I thought we were just doing like that free, oh, I can't have free brain thing.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I freed my brain so much that I missed frog very clear instruction. Frogamame Johnson. Oh, the opposite of Tom. I love it. Frog. Honestly, I love it. I mean, for that. Oh big time obsessed with it.

Frogamama Johnson. Frogamama Johnson is incredible. Good luck to you. Frogamama is the best. Frogamama. Next up I would like to thank from Address withheld. I can only assume it's deep within the fortress of the malls. We should shout out the mall people. Yeah, all people praise me. I would like to thank Trent Bartlett. Okay Trent Bartlett Bruce yes hot life. Oh, yeah, he sounds What are they? He's got a really good hand chokes He always looks at me. Oh, it's when he gives you a hand chokes Bruce If you give him a dead fish he will crush that

Wait, I changed his name not hot like what was it hot life Bruce hot life was in a major Good on your Trent from within the fortune of the mills Finally, I would like to thank from Toronto in Canada. It is Christian Pearson Christian Pearson the opposite of course being he then Apple dad He's an apple. It's a zombie! This is the most fun I've ever had with this. He's an apple. Oh, love it. Good.

Christian Pearson. He's an apple. Can I thank some people as well? Please. I would love to thank from Nunda in Queensland, Gabby and Ivy. Oh, Gabby and Ivy. So I guess two names we're gonna come up with.

Yeah, so Gabby. But we don't have any so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so-called so Gabbo Dave so maybe crusty and I be Ebony. Crusty and Ebony. Johnston. The Johnston or the Johnston's is normally known. Welcome to the Johnston's. Crusty and Ebony. Johnston. Beautiful couple man.

What were their celebrity couple man be then Jess, Crusty and Ebony. Crabony. Crabony is good. Crabony. Oh, the Cribony's good. Cribony. Beautiful. Just gorgeous. I don't know what to think. From Abbott's Ferd in British Columbia, Canada.

Aaron Dawson. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Well, the opposite of Dawson is of course, Cric. Cric. Okay, yes. P. Well, the opposite of Dawson is of course, Craig. Pacie. Okay, yes. Pacie.

And the opposite of Aaron. A name that starts with Zed. Like, Zelda Pacie. Zelda Pacie. Zelda Pacie. Zelda Pacie. Zelda Pacie is a beautiful, that's a nice name. That's good.

Zelda Pacie. Look, I like Aaron Dawson, but Zelda Pacie is fantastic. Who's Aaron Dawson? I only know Zelda Pace. There we go. And finally, I would love to thank from Newark in DE. Is that? That would be.

Is that Delaware? It is Delaware. The only DE state. I'm in Delaware. I would love to thank Joel Hanon Crop. Oh, did not really need a fake man. It's incredible Joel, Hanon Crop. Oh, did not really need a fake name. It's incredible. Joel, Hanon Crop.

Joel, I say this about a lot of names. That is one of the best I've ever heard. Joel, Hanon Crop is incredible. I would buy it to get to your TED talk like that. I wouldn't even need to see the topic. Should we? I know the surname is Well-known drought. What's the first name? Anon anonymous, well-known, crop drought. Yes. What's the opposite of joe L?

And Jack and Jill, no, Joe and cuppa Joe's coffee. Okay, so TZ opposite of coffee. Yes. So an L. Earl Gray. Earl Gray, well-known drought. We've done it. We've absolutely done it. We nailed that. Joel, did you just consult a random word generator? So thank you so much to the people previously known as Joel, Aaron, Gabby, Ivy Ivey Christian Trent Thomas Justin Catton Tom All legends and I think you'll all enjoy your new identities

And the last thing we like to do is welcome a few people into our trip ditch club. So We've got five inductees this week these people have been on the shout out level for three straight years, shout out level or above, and they're welcomed into the Triptitch Club with a bunch of other people who have welcomed in over the last, other previous probably, I don't know how long, maybe a year now. And everyone's in there milling about having a great old time. This place exists in our hearts, but also physically, where is the physical location this month, Jess? It is on an island, which I will not disclose.

An underscores on, otherwise people will fall. Is that everybody would turn up? Yes. So I'm on the door. I've got the clipboard, I've got the guest list. I'm gonna read out the names. Jess is inside, she's made some drinks. What's the cocktail this week? Cocktail is, of course. I've forgotten most of the story.

Lost at sea. What is it? What does it include? It includes blue caracayotes, and a salty rim. Salty rim and... Sweet beer, sir. And a little edible shark in there. Oh, delicious. It's been a fun. And Dave, you've booked a band who's playing tonight. No, not a... The story today, Lord has been booked.

Whoa. Yeah. Okay, it's a lot of Lord. I was gonna say an honor of Lord, I didn't want to say that because he's obviously a piece of shit. But we got Lord in, and she's crap. She's amazing. Okay, and now I'll bring the people in.

I'll read out your names, open up the Velvet Rope here. Dave will then hype you up, because you're welcome to enter the club, you wanna feel good. Dave will make you feel good. And then it takes a lot of effort for Dave to make. People feel good, so Jess will then build up Dave as well. In case you're listening to the first time and it's confusing, that is what's going on. So we've got five inductees this week.

Right, hit me. Let's go through it from Falls Church in Virginia. It's Mike Schubert. Oh! We're going to be falling over tonight tonight From Vancouver in British Columbia Canada. It's Hirosh Fernando do you hear the drums? Hirosh Fernando

I come on Is that a hot bar a ghost? Honestly keeping up. It's very fun Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,'ve ever heard. Ah, wow, we had the King Elvis's intern. Ah! You don't even have a pencil local app. From Dullich Hill in New South Wales Australia, it's Shan. Shan. Shan done. Oh, I thought this night was done, but it's only getting stung.

And finally, oh my god, from Rancho, Cucamanga, in California. If you know what I'm saying, it's Aaron Butler. Oh, Cucamanga, let me be your Butler. That is very Rancho. That is the best city name I've ever heard. Rancho Cucamanga. And it definitely reminds me a little of Rancho Relaxo. Honestly, it does sound like I made up plays, I love it.

Alright, welcome in. Aaron, Sean, Dylan, Hirosh, and Mike. So glad to have you in. Party waiter, Lord. And drink some of those lost at sea cocktails. Thanks so much for joining us. Nothing else to do, but business baby, home, who wants to do it?

Davos? Hit up do go on pod.com for links to all our stuff. We're at do go on pod on all the social media. It's always good to hang out with people online. But also, you can watch us this Saturday night if you're listening hot off the presses. Our 300th episode, live spectacular tickets.srs presents.com. Find the link in the description of the presses. Our 300th episode lives spectacular tickets at srspresents.com but find the link in the description of this episode. Matt's out on tour as we said,

also links to all of his shows. Matt's show at coma.com. But until next week, I guess we'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye! This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto-customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com.

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