Do Go On - 454 - The History of Ice Cream

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

This week we are joined by our dear friend Suren Jayemanne to tell us about the weird and wonderful history of ice cream. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 13:31 (th...ough as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Watch Do Go On The Quiz Show: https://youtu.be/GgzcPMx1EdM?si=ir7iubozIzlzvWfK Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://dogoon.bigcartel.com/   Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.com Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Well, well, well, we've got some live do go on shows coming up in Melbourne and Sydney over the next month in July 2024. Oh, my God, I'm so excited. Jess, where are they and why? Six of July at the Comedy Republic because it's a fantastic venue. Oh, yeah. 3 p.m. That's Melbourne. Then the next weekend in Sydney, the 13th of July at the Ritz Cinema in Randwick. That feels right at home for us. And then on the 3rd of August, back at the Comedy Republic, Dave and I are doing a Who Knew It with Matt Stewart.
Starting point is 00:00:29 It's the 100th episode. Can you believe it? Wow. Jess was invited, but she's going overseas instead. She said that were her two choices and she decided overseas was better. If you want to get tickets to any of these shows, you can head to dogoonpod.com. Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell.
Starting point is 00:00:49 But going to the clinic, not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back with 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. From your ghost Lentimos, the Academy Award nominated director of Poor Things and the
Starting point is 00:01:15 Favorite, comes Kinds of Kindness, a darkly hilarious and unpredictable film that critics are calling mind-bendingly brilliant. Featuring an all-star cast led by Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons, a Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Jess Perkins and as always, I'm joined by Matt Stewart. Jess Bop Perkins. In the house. So good to be here, Jess. Yes. It is sad because normally you're sitting here and I can touch you, but now you're sitting there and I can't.
Starting point is 00:02:16 That's right. Which I guess is probably for the best. It is sad, isn't it? It is sad. Or was it a choice? You normally reach out and try and touch my fingers at least a couple of times during the episode. It's because you don't realise that, sort of while you're thinking or making a point,
Starting point is 00:02:30 you often kind of stretch your hand out and put your hand like flat splayed out on the table between us. Right. And so I always just put my hand on top of yours. Like we're playing some sort of game with hands. Yeah. It's good that the hand is, that it's on the table, I think, rather than sort of higher. Yeah, yeah, he's fully on the table and that's okay.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Champs on three. Yeah, it's that kind of energy. One, two, three, champs. No, that, no. Yeah. Well, we just heard a mystery voice as well there, Matt. Yeah. We have a special guest in.
Starting point is 00:03:01 We do. And what a pleasure it is. Can I introduce him? Please. Well, you might know him from things like Benny and Serenny, the Talkback Radio podcast from XFM. Is that right? XFM? Triple X. Triple XFM. Then you've also might know him as the host of Good Tucker on SBS in Australia, the show where he explored Australia's multicultural
Starting point is 00:03:27 communities and history through cuisine. You might also know him as a regular guest on Who Knew It With Matt Stewart and from his report on this very podcast about a wine heist many years ago, maybe one. His name, if you don't know already, cause you probably do, it's only- Sounds like you've forgotten. Title of the episode, Jess, give me a hint. It's Saren Jaiwana.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Hello. What a pleasure to be here. We'd love to have you. Yes. Such a delight. Oh, by the way, Saren, you have an ass, which I think is really fun. Dave is fine.
Starting point is 00:04:06 Okay. So you don't need to worry about him. Don't worry about him. So, and no one- I was concerned. No, well, you don't need to. Okay. Because we've assured you he's fine.
Starting point is 00:04:14 He's fine. And listeners at home, I'd like to say to you as well that he is fine. Don't look into it. Don't look into it. Because it would be a waste of your time. And listeners at home, I would like to point out that I did look into it. Yep. He is not fine.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Wait, hang on. No, he's fine. See? That was a joke. That was a funny joke. And we'd only joke about it. If he was fine. If he was fine.
Starting point is 00:04:37 We wouldn't joke about if he wasn't fine. And here's the thing, at this stage, dear listener, okay, he's not here for this episode. That's one episode. Yeah. He could have been episode. Yeah. He could have been busy. Yeah. You know, it's, if somebody is missing
Starting point is 00:04:48 for several weeks at a time, sure. Then come up with some conspiracy theories, of course. To be suspicious, but it's like, he's just gone. He's fine. Yeah. I think we've done pretty well there. Yeah, I think, and I expect to see him back someday. Someday? Yeah. Soon. I reckon expect to see him back someday. Someday?
Starting point is 00:05:05 Yeah. Soon. I reckon he'll turn up. You know? Yeah. I mean, there is, of course, questions about where does he start and, you know, he end. Is a body? Is that who he is?
Starting point is 00:05:19 You've gone too far now. You have gone too far. What do you mean? No, I think it's probably just best if we get into the... I'll explain how the show works. I don't understand. I'm just saying I don't... Is the soul Dave or is the bot...
Starting point is 00:05:31 I think he'll turn up in some way or another. I would argue that a part of Dave's soul is inside you and I. So he's turned up here today. He's here today. He's here today. And welcome Dave. He's here and he's fine and welcome Dave. And he won't be talking but he is here and fine.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Do you want me to explain the show really quickly? Sure. I'll have a crack at doing it really efficiently. Okay. So one of the three of us, Saran's sitting in for Dave this week. I've already fucked it. It's alright. But we go away and research a topic and you know we just bathe in it.
Starting point is 00:06:03 We get in a bath and we just fill that bath to the brim. A wet desk is and we just fill that bath with knowledge. That's right. We get in the wet desk, we get soaked by knowledge on this topic. Then we put that knowledge in there like a pretty basic kind of report. Something like maybe year nine, year 10 student might do. Certainly not year a, not VCE. Not VCE. They bring it in and then they present it to the class. Sorry, sorry, HSC. I don't know. No, no, I did the VCA. Never mind. So, yeah, and Seren's doing the report this week.
Starting point is 00:06:33 He's done the research. He's brought the report in. He's going to tell it to me and Jess and we will listen on, you know, and be pretty respectful, but maybe chip in with dogshit riffs sometimes. Sometimes. Tedious questions. I think when we don't know the guest as well, we tend not to be too dogshit because we have respect for them.
Starting point is 00:06:54 But when it is a friend of ours and we feel comfortable and we obviously don't have any respect for them left, they will be pretty dogshit riffs. Yeah. No, I understand how you work as like a team with Dave, like with your good friends. Yes. There's a good rapport. And what you do to show love to your good friends is you disappear them and, you know, and you make references to maybe they'll show up as a body, maybe not.
Starting point is 00:07:18 What? Huh? What is that? So if at any point you're in this podcast, you would like to, you know, harm me. Do you want it? I mean, you're playing a very dangerous game right now, Saran. Don't cross us. Here's the thing, Saran, we have a lot of UK and US and international listeners. They don't understand the cultural nuances of the Australian act of love, which is disappearing
Starting point is 00:07:38 in someone. So I think to them, it probably sounds a little bit more sinister. Yeah, exactly. But it's really just- It's a cultural thing. It's a cultural thing. And I'll take it as a sign of bit more sinister. Yeah, exactly. But it's really just- It's a cultural thing. It's a cultural thing. Yeah. And I'll take it as a sign of love. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Yeah. And hopefully your family will too. What are you saying? They don't understand the Australian culture? What? I think they get it. I understand. We do usually start with a question to get into the topic. Do you have a question for us? I do have a question. Fantastic.
Starting point is 00:08:05 If I was to tell you, Jess and Matt, that, uh, you were about to prepare some sort of food and these are the ingredients to use in it, this recipe calls for cream. Okay. Sugar. Scones. Ooh, still scones. Yep. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:22 That's yeah, still eligible at this point. Yeah. Orange flowerones. Yep. Okay. That's- yeah, still eligible at this point. Yeah. Orange flower water. Orange flower. As in the flower from an orange, or like an orange flower, I guess. It's spelled flower as in F-L-O-W-E-R. Oh.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Oh, orange flower water. Yes. And then M- M- So the flower from an orange made into water. I think so. Yeah, okay. I've not- Orange cake? I've only done this report to a year nine level of competency. Of course. Yeah, okay. I've not- Orange cake? I've only done this report to a year nine level of competency.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Of course. Yeah, yeah, you're not a master chef. Although when I was in year nine, no, I didn't do any VCS. No. Ambergris is the last ingredient, which is whale vomit. Excuse me? So if those are the ingredients listed in a recipe, what are we- Whale vomit?
Starting point is 00:09:04 What am I asking you to prepare? Whale vomit. Orange flower water. Yes. Sugar. Sugar and cream. The only whale vomit I know of specifically. Is not in scones. Pinocchio.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Oh. Yes. Oh, because he swallows up. Yeah. Pinocchio. And then he lights a match. Does he get vomited or does he go out the blowhole? I can't remember.
Starting point is 00:09:24 I can't remember. I think it's the- I think he gets vomited. I think it's Finding Nemo where they go out the blowhole? I can't remember. I can't remember. I think it's the, I think it gets vomited. I think it's finding Nemo where they go out the blowhole. The blowhole. Yeah. Well, Pinocchio I think might be a little more anatomically correct. Yes. How's he getting in the blowhole?
Starting point is 00:09:34 I actually don't understand whales. Why am I getting into that? They're very big. They're big. Um, okay. Well, you understand that. Well, I, I would really have heard of this. So yeah, I, okay.
Starting point is 00:09:44 I'm going to take out the out the whale vomit for a second. So, Matt, let's just- I will also say this is not a common- this ingredient wouldn't be if you were making a thing today. You can't be using whale vomit. This is the first recorded recipe of this particular thing. So, Matt, think about it. If we've got like cream. Yes. And sugar. Is it a cocktail?
Starting point is 00:10:03 And then like some sort of flavouring, I'm guessing, from like the orange. Yeah, the orange. I agree. That's a flavouring. And we're just like, I guess whisking all that together. Oh, is that a flan? Oh, not a flan. What do you call those whisked eggs?
Starting point is 00:10:16 There's no egg. Meringue. Meringue. Is it a meringue? Fuck, that's not bad. But that's a quiet egg. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:21 I'm going to guess it would be like a, like a, like a, fuck. Like a, like an ice cream-y type thing. Hey. It's going to guess it would be like a like a like a fuck. Like it is like an ice creamy type thing. It's a dessert. It is. I thought it might take you longer to get there because you, you. May or Jess is right. It's not a scone and it's not a plan. But it's a dessert. It is a dessert. And thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Also, Jess said ice cream, so we can skip through it straight to the correct answer, which is ice cream. Really? Yeah. That's not- The whale vomit, you figured it out- What? It was impressive that you figured it out by excluding whale vomit from your analysis, because that's quite integral to the whole process in that whale vomit helped things to freeze. Oh, that's interesting.
Starting point is 00:11:01 Back in those days. What? Yeah. I think it's something to do with the fact that if you add salt to ice, it reduces the temperature, like you can get salt and ice will make ice go to like negative 14 degrees or something. Really? And whale vomit must be very salty.
Starting point is 00:11:19 That's. Whoa. I guess they swim around in salt. But why not just get salt? Oh, okay. That's not bad. Yeah. Instead of you're saying instead of whale vomit. That's an interesting idea.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Yeah. I'm confused. What's the topic? The history of ice cream. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, correctly guessed. I don't know why not just get salt. I guess it is it probably was easier back then to just get a whale very drunk.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that they're taking their size. Yeah. They're real lightweights. Yeah. Yeah. So that's that is interesting, though. So the history of ice cream. That's what we're about to do. Yeah. About to get into it.
Starting point is 00:11:59 You're a scientist. They like certain countries love hunting whales. They want to just have them for their ice cream factories. Yeah. They put them up, make them spew all day long. It's a brutal lifestyle. It is. But you get them drunk first.
Starting point is 00:12:14 So they like part of the process. They're having a good time. Yeah. The hard thing is that they've already killed the whale before they... Yeah. Oh, that's part of the hunting. You're probably going to keep them alive to get them. And actually, they probably vomit so much that you wouldn't have to have them
Starting point is 00:12:29 vomiting all day. Oh, true. It'd probably be like once a week, they have a really fucking good party. Throw up. Yeah. As we all did for a few years in our, in our late teens, early twenties. Job done for the week. Yeah. And then, yeah, you just have the rest of the week off. Honestly, all of us did it. We all partied.
Starting point is 00:12:46 We all had lots of friends at some point in our lives. We all partied. And I think a whale, you know, one of the best hangover cures is to just jump straight into the ocean. Oh, yeah. A whale's already there. Yeah. You're absolutely right. No hangover.
Starting point is 00:12:58 I have a question before you even begin. Okay. Do you think at the end of this episode, I'm going to be like, oh, I really want to go get ice cream because we've talked about ice cream for like an hour. I would say right off the bat, I'm feeling like I never want to eat ice cream again. Totally. That's what I mean. Am I going to be like, I'm actually okay for ice cream for about a year? I reckon you, I think we might. I think you'll have a hankering. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Because I have led with the whale vomit. Yeah. And by the end of the report, it might even be a distant memory. Great. I hope so. And actually knowing me and my record of remembering things, yeah, probably in the next 10 minutes, that'll be gone. I walked on my way to the studio, I walked past an ice cream place and I thought I pictured us all being there together after this.
Starting point is 00:13:41 That's beautiful. Yeah. I'm in. Well, we'll see. I'll let you know at the end. Grilling them about whether or not they still use whale vomit. That's what I thought we'd be doing. Where you kept the whale. This is exciting. It was also somewhat pertinent, Matt, that you brought up Pinocchio.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Oh. Because I will say there's probably a few lies in this. Close. What's your tell? I'd like to. I'm going to start by saying every article that I read to research this report was a blog on a gelato website. Great.
Starting point is 00:14:11 Okay. So they're not- So it's like a gelato store. They're not biased at all. Yeah, they all have a history. They all have their own little funny- And they're telling you about vomit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:19 And every article starts with a line that's like, who doesn't love eating a little ice cream on a hot summer's day? Sure. There are people who don't like it. Yeah. Where did this delicious treat have its origins? Okay. So we're about to find out. Exciting.
Starting point is 00:14:33 I love it. Cause like Jess, Dave and I were often quoting from like, you know, Britannica and, and then, you know, the, the New York Times and sort of like loftyish. Reputable. And you're going from. GelatoMan.com.au. Gelato Man! Yes! I actually trust Gelato Man with my life.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the New York Post. Oh, it was a bit of a worry that they're the two that I could think of as reputable. I'm like, oh, maybe we, I don't know. There's a lot of facts on gelatoman.com.au. .au too. No, I might've added that. Okay. So we're going to start very at the very origins before it's even
Starting point is 00:15:15 really, we're talking ice cream, just frozen treats. Okay. If that's all right with you. Please. And you might be asking, what is the actual historical origins of ice cream? Was it Baskin's or was it Robin's? Who was it? That's an age old battle. It was actually Hagen or was it Daz? Oh, was it Ben or was it Jerry?
Starting point is 00:15:35 Oh my gosh. Jeez, it's Litter with Jewels. Yeah, Jewels. It's like comedy, early comedy. I'm pretty sure. Was it Lano or was it Woodley? It's like early comedy. Early comedy. L'm pretty sure. Was it Lano or was it Woodley? It's like early comedy. Early comedy. Lidded with juniors.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Lano Woodley in the 90s. But the Hug and Dazzle, I'm pretty sure, not to get off track too early, but that's some nonsense. Do you know that? It's like, they just like workshopped a thing that's, it's an American brand and they made up a phrase that sounds sort of like Scandinavian or whatever. Yeah, right. But it doesn't mean anything.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Haagen-Dazs. Pretty fun. That is great. That's like those, remember when you drove past the airport, there was always a big billboard with a guy that looked like Steve Jobs. It was like, Da Rucci or something. Yeah, that's right. And it was like a furniture guy, a designer furniture.
Starting point is 00:16:23 But it was, and it was meant to sound like Italian furniture, but it was like some Chinese company that they were doing the Haagen-Dazs thing. He was just an actor. Dirucci. So he wasn't even- yeah, so the idea where I'll sort of believe that this is a guy- it's like Guzman and Gomez, right? Yeah. That's just- that's some white Australians. That's true. Which is interesting. Yeah, because Guzman sounds more like a Russian name or something.
Starting point is 00:16:45 But the Daruchi guy, I didn't know he was an actor. That'd ruin your acting career. You take one job and then you'd be auditioning for roles and be like, don't you have a furniture empire in Iran? Aren't you too busy? You can't be an actor. You can't be a villain in this movie. You're that beloved furniture guy.
Starting point is 00:17:01 You can't be a villain in this movie. You're that beloved furniture guy. Okay, so obviously ancient societies, they didn't have ice cream, but ice and snow was very common to as a use in creating like frozen drinks or treats. And because back in the day ice, they didn't have fridges. You know what I mean? Yeah. They didn't have means of storing. So they had to go and get it.
Starting point is 00:17:28 Pretty much they were harvesting ice and from snow and that would be, it was quite common in like the Middle East and sort of Mediterranean kind of environments that what they would do is they would get ice during the winter months and then they had to develop technology to basically store the ice in the summer because those places were so hot and they wanted to have these sweet treats. And so, their first recorded appearance of an ice house for storing snow from the mountains comes from a cuneiform tablet from around 1780 BC. Wow. Whoa. around 1780 BC. Wow. Wow. OK. And it states that the king of Mari, and Mari is like one of the states along the
Starting point is 00:18:08 Euphrates, where we would now call it Syria, he built an ice house which never before had been built by any king. Wow. OK. And normal people had them all the time, but kings didn't have them. They were above the ice house. Yeah. But I looked into it and there's no historians nor I have come across a cuneiform tablet
Starting point is 00:18:31 that states otherwise. OK, so yeah, because it's like, you know, if you want to discredit this cuneiform tablet, you better have a pretty legit cuneiform tablet. Yeah. I have to be honest, I don't think I know how fridges or freezers work now. No. So it is always very impressive to me when people have figured stuff out in the past. Like, wow. And these things are crazy.
Starting point is 00:18:52 They actually still use these in some places in like Iran and which was then Persia and that those kind of countries, they had these things called yuck-charls. OK. And what that was, it sort of looks like a giant beehive. And underneath the ground, there would be like a square chamber, I guess, which is when they harvest the ice from the mountain, they would put it into these chambers underground. And then above the ground was this beehive structure, put it into these chambers underground. And then above the ground was this beehive structure, which was kind of made of clay,
Starting point is 00:19:32 sand, ash, goat hair and lime. They would, like, make that into a mortar, which would be around the thing to kind of waterproof it. And then they would build, like, little aqueducts alongside it, which would catch the wind that comes in. So any water that melted in the chamber of ice beneath this yuck-chull would have like a little channel of wind that would come through to refreeze it overnight. That's awesome. Because there's a cold desert winds at night. And this is, I'm talking like 550 BC, these yuck Charles. They date back to
Starting point is 00:20:06 at least that. That was when the first ones were kind of dated back to, but they probably were around storing ice from even earlier than that. So that's 2500 years ago. The odds that the first ever tablet mentioning them was found and even that that tablet started talking about it like soon after it was Normally, you find these historical documents and they're mentioning it as if it's been around for a while. Yeah. Because they're using words that, like, obviously people understand what this means. Exactly. And the Cuneiform tablet was probably like it might-
Starting point is 00:20:42 Yeah, like you're saying, the invention of being able to document stuff probably happened after this ice storage. And so, if you are the king and the first pens around, you'd be like, just right. Yeah, I invented that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one's got no one's had pens before. That was one of mine. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:00 So, there's no other history before this. I started the first blog and it said, yeah, I came up with the internet pretty good. Yeah. This is me. Yeah, I'm gelato man.com. So, so essentially what I'm trying to say is before you can use ice in a desert, you have to store ice in the desert. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:21:19 So that, yeah, it's. Because it's all well and good to have a surplus of ice in winter, but a slushy just isn't quite as satisfying the whole day, is it? You don't need to. But on a hot day? On a hot day. Oh my God. Yeah. They had to do the same with with hot water. So in they would boil, their lakes would boil. Yeah. In the summer.
Starting point is 00:21:42 And they'd collect that. They had to collect those. Yes. And they had to build structures with reverse aqueducts to keep water hot. It's actually like the opposite. Yeah. Yeah, there's a chamber above ground. Yeah, it's above ground. And the beehive is underneath. Yeah, that's right. Because hot air rises. Yeah, so it's interesting. But I saw that on a cuneiform tablet, actually. I don't think I ever really put it together. Like, you know that there's a classic Simpsons episode about Bobo the Bear, which is Mr. Burns' teddy. But it starts off with this ice expedition.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Yeah. And they take the ice to the Quickie Mart, I think. And the guy's like, we lost three men on this expedition. There's got to be an easy way to make ice. But I'm like, that's just a funny, like a surreal, silly joke. But it's basically they used to have to do that. Yeah, they would send teams up to the mountains to collect ice and amazing. And it's they call it like harvesting.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Yeah. So it's like, yeah, going into the ground to get minerals or like foraging for different things. And now you just get moulds in all sorts of fun little shapes. You can make any shape you want. Put it under a tap, put it in your freezer. Yeah. And you got ice. You can get a giant little cube that you put into your whiskey. Yep, you can get a ball to put into your whiskey.
Starting point is 00:22:58 You can put a little love heart, so that's fun. That's a bit of fun. What are the things called again? The underground thing? Yuck Charles. Yuck Charles. Yeah, put it in your underground thing? Yuck Charles. Yuck Charles. Yeah, put it in your freezer or your Yuck Charles.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Yuck Charles. Well, it's funny you say that because in Iran, they still, that's still the word. And it translates roughly to ice pit, but that's what they would call a fridge in Iran. Cool. Modern day Persia today. Yuck Charles, that's a great name. It's way better than fridge or refrigerator. Boring.
Starting point is 00:23:24 I'm a Ychel salesman. I'm going to go shopping for a new Yukchel this weekend. Mine's on the fritz. I think Yukchel is now- that might have supplanted Chilli-Bun as my favourite term for a place to put cold stuff in. In New Zealand, that's what they call like a portable- Oh, yes. Cooler.
Starting point is 00:23:42 What we call an Eskimo cooler. Americans would call it a cooler. We call it an Esky, which is just a brand. I've heard Chilli Bin before. Is it though? We say it as if it's one word. Chilli Bin. But it's just in the accent. They're saying Chilli Bin.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Yeah. It's their poor enunciation. Yeah. Yes. And then we speed it up and we're like, oh, Chilli Bin. Chilli Bin. Yeah. I love it. Chilli Bin. Like they call thongs jandals. Jandals. God, that place rules.
Starting point is 00:24:05 I learned so much from Tony Martin's old sketches with him. He did a sketch on the radio back in the 90s, maybe about Tom and Fol. They used to go, oh, we're just we've got the feed from Tom and Fol's Tim and Phil's New Zealand radio show. Hi, I'm Tom. Hi, I'm Fol. We're going to do a prank today. I'm talking about like calling the Musson Persons Agency. And then it rings in. Hey, is this the Musson Persons Agency? Yes, it is. It is the Musson Persons Agency. We'd like to
Starting point is 00:24:36 report a Musson pair of jaundice. Jaundice? I think there's been a misunderstanding. We are the Muss persons agency. This is where you report missing persons. A Jandals is just a comfy bit of footwear. So fun. It's good stuff. I wouldn't have heard that for 30 years and I would be butchering it, of course, but I still-
Starting point is 00:25:00 It would be annoying if you were trying to call up the missing persons agency and you're on hold because someone's trying to report missing chances. And you're like, excuse me, Dave's gone missing. And he's fine. Dave Warnocki. Wait, what? Why did you use that name specifically? We don't have to report him missing. We know where he is. He's fine. He's fine. Yeah. So, the Persians didn't have ice cream as we know it today.
Starting point is 00:25:20 But what they did have is in these yuk chowls, they would store ice. know it today. But what they did have is in these yuk chowls, they would store ice. But it also became like we would use a freezer today or a fridge today, a place to store like meat or fruits or anything. Cake in the freezer? Wedding cake. That's a tradition, isn't it? Or just- What is that tradition? I have no idea. I think you then eat it on your first anniversary or something.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Oh, right. If you make it. Oh, that's sweet. A bit arrogant. Oh, we'll be together in a year. Freaking hell. All right. Get the fuck over yourself. Jesus Christ. Get the fuck over yourself. That's what I say to them. Nothing's permanent. Nothing lasts forever. I was saying that to Dave just last week. Yeah. That's what I say to him. Don't plan too far ahead, as I said to him. Yeah. You did say that. I did say that to him. Very clearly. I say that to everybody on their wedding day. Yeah. He needed to learn that lesson. Yeah. Yeah. And I thought I could teach it to him, whether I did or not.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Showing love. I don't care to say. So, yeah, they would save stuff. Yeah, they'd save them so that way they could enjoy them during the hot summers. So fruit, dairy, meat and that kind of thing. And basically what happened was they they realised that when you freeze fruit, it's quite delicious. Oh. And so it's sort of this was probably some of the earliest records we have of,
Starting point is 00:26:49 according to gelatoman.com, of like- It will be so funny when there's someone to listen to who's like an expert in this area and I go, that was all nonsense. Gelatoman has been discredited by the industry. You have tried frozen grapes? Delicious. No. Yum. Really? Yeah, frozen grapes, Delicious. No. Yum. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:07 It is like- I don't understand. As a summer treat, if you are health conscious or you can't get your hands on ice cream, you freeze some grapes. Also banana is a great one to freeze. Oh yeah. You know what you can do is you put jelly crystals on the grapes and then freeze them and then they have like a-
Starting point is 00:27:21 A popping- Yeah, like a fun little flavour to them as well. Oh. On top of grapes. Wouldn't they Just be like balls of ice, wouldn't they? Or the slightly. Not quite as hard. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, the texture of it gets slushy.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Oh, okay. Yeah, that does sound good. But it's also sweet. Yeah. Yeah. What do you go, red or green? I'm a green. Green grape girl.
Starting point is 00:27:38 That's hard to say. Yeah. Good question because I'm a red wine drinker, but a green grape eater. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Isn't that interesting and exciting? That is.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Jeez. It's just fun to learn things about your friends. Yeah. That's the equivalent of like a footballer who handballs with his right hand and kicks with his left, you know. Next time I'm invited to Sarenz for a dinner party, I know what kind of wine to get and what kind of grapes to bring. You know what I mean? Yeah Ceren's for a dinner party, I know what kind of wine to get and what kind of grapes to bring. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:28:05 Yeah. That's nice. And I'll serve, perhaps at my party, my dinner party, a falooda. Have you heard of these? No. Faloodas. OK, so it's like a Persian- it's very common in the Middle East. Different cultures have-
Starting point is 00:28:20 Falooda matata? Their own version of falooda. Yeah, there's no worries. Yeah, I've heard of it in that context. For the rest of my days. Yeah. Because now, even when the weather gets hot, we have figured out how to stay cool. Because of the-
Starting point is 00:28:34 Yuckcharl. Yuckcharl. That's a word that will not stick, but I love it so much. It's a shame. Or if you're in New Zealand, the Chilubun. Chilubun. But a Faluda, it's like a starchy, it's like noodles made of some sort of starchy thing. And then they mix that with like syrup or honey that has been chilled on the ice.
Starting point is 00:28:55 So, so the earliest, like dating back to these discoveries of Yak Charles, the Faluda doesn't come long after that. Yeah, right. So that's kind of Faluda or this word might sound familiar to you, Shabbat. Oh, Shabbat. Is that a religious thing? Well, that's the Sabbath, I guess, which I think in Hebrew that sound- they would pronounce it like Shabbat. Right.
Starting point is 00:29:18 But this is not that. This is Shabbat, which is like- which is a fruit syrup that's been served with honey that's chilled on the snow, basically. And then they would pour in milk and sugar. Oh, that sounds good. And so it's kind of similar to what we'd call a Grenada. Ah. Pretty much what they're doing is they're crushing up the ice and they're flavoring
Starting point is 00:29:36 it with some sort of sweet thing. They do that in Hawaii, like shave ice. Yeah. Delicious. Yeah. It's just syrup over ice. Exactly. You're essentially eating, it's eating as sloppy. Yeah. Delicious. Yeah. It's just syrup over ice. Exactly. You're essentially eating, it's eating a Slurpee. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Rules. As normally you would sort of slurp it. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's not as wet as a Slurpee. No. It's just the ratios are different. It's just at a different stage of its life.
Starting point is 00:30:00 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You give a shave ice a couple of minutes, it's a Slurpee. It's a Slurpee. Slurpee, is Slurpee the name broadly or is that like the 7 couple of minutes. It's a Slurpee. It's a Slurpee. Is Slurpee the name broadly or is that like the 7-Eleven version of a Slurpee? I think it's a 7-Eleven version. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:11 It is the Kleenex to Tish's. Yes. Yeah. Or the Hoover to Presidents. Oh, just to damns. But so Shabat is, and I might be mispronouncing that, I don't know if you have any Persian listeners, but. Jack Gyllenhaal, I think.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Wow, really? No, but he was. You don't know what I'm saying really, too. No, that's true. Am I saying it to him being Persian? He was. He was. To him being a listener.
Starting point is 00:30:38 He was cast as the Prince of Persia and it was controversial. Oh, OK. Well, yeah. A little bit of fun. Does Shabbat sound like any other language. Oh, OK. Well, yeah. Bit of fun. A little bit of fun. Just a tiny bit. Does Shabbat sound like anything to you?
Starting point is 00:30:51 Shabbat, I mean, it sounds a bit like sherbet, but also shabbat is like the Jewish day of rest. Yes, which I think Saran just said before, but Jess wasn't listening then, obviously. But Saran also did point at you. Do you correct? You're two for two so far. And the sherbet. Yeah. Sherbet would be the root word for sherbet.
Starting point is 00:31:09 I've actually been hearing and watching. It's crazy. Well, I just I thought I might have caught you doing a me. So, yeah, sherbet is the root word for sherbet, which and also the root word for anything. Can anything else you can think of that's ice cream related. Really? Sorbet. Really?
Starting point is 00:31:28 Yum. So it comes from that. And sherbet was like originally, yeah, I guess a Turkish thing that was like- it's not like those little lemon lollies that we call sherbet. Or the powder. Whiz Fizz is like a sherbet. Oh yeah, Whiz Fizz is like a sherbet. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:44 I fucking love WizFizz. And did you have them when you were kids, there was like straws and they were filled with different colours of this sort of sherbetty powder? Yeah. And you know. Yeah, it was sort of like the introduction to clubs. Pixie sticks. Yeah, pixie sticks.
Starting point is 00:31:58 It was a gateway. People talk about marijuana as a gateway. No. Sherbet. Yeah, marijuana is like, what, the gatewaybet. Yeah. Whis Fizz. Marijuana is a gateway to what? You well and truly walk through the gate by the time you're smoking marijuana. The gate is the Whis Fizz.
Starting point is 00:32:10 Yeah. Yeah. Because we'd line them up. Yeah. Yeah. You'd rack them up. Even, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:18 I would say like, you know, when you were a kid and you would just sort of spin around until you become dizzy? Yeah. That's the gateway. Yeah. Any sort of thing of escaping- Dizz then you become dizzy. Yep. That's the gateway. Yeah. Any sort of thing of escaping reality. Diz, then whispers. Yep.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Then meth. Yes. Diz, whispers, then meth. That's how I did it. Yeah. That's a usual progression. And again, that might be a cultural thing. Oh, yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:32:37 That might be an Australian thing. So, Shabbat, so it's like they love the Shabbbet because of its cooling effect in the hot months in these hot climates, but also they believed at that time that they were medicinal properties and probably because they're using ingredients like saffron and rose water, those kinds of things to flavour the ice. And so- It feels like every recreational drug and every dessert and everything, smoking, everything at some point, when it's invented, they're like, this is medicinal.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Like Coca-Cola started out being sold at chemists and pharmacies. Yeah. Yeah, this is medicinal. It's good for you. This, yeah, the cigarettes ones are the funniest. They're like really good for asthma. Yeah. And some of them are like, is that so?
Starting point is 00:33:23 Yeah. Putting smoke in your lungs. Yeah, yeah. It helps. Yeah, it smokes them out, which is good. It's- What? Cigarettes are great for asthma because what they'll do is they will make you have to go to the doctor to get a ventilator.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Yeah. And that is really good for asthma. That is good stuff, yeah. The Persians also had a particular fondness for sal flavours, which is probably why we associate sherbet with the word sherbet, along with flower petals and herbs. So there's often like other tart juices, like pomegranate, lemon, sour, cherry, that kind of thing that they would be mixing into these shaped ice.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Another root word for sherbet is this word, shrub. Shrub. Shrub. Yeah. Like shrubs. I guess so. I don't- I didn't follow that thread any further. I just thought it was fun to say shrub. Shrub.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Yeah. You were right. It is fun to say shrub. Shrub. Then not long after these invention of these things, Yuck Charles, there are reports of the pharaohs in ancient Egypt offering guests when they have, like, esteemed guests and banquets and that kind of thing, they give them crushed ice or snow with mixed fruit juices and flowers and sweet ingredients.
Starting point is 00:34:32 So it's starting to become like, it's so hard to get ice. You're losing men going up the mountain harvesting the ice that if you have ice and you can present treats and delicacies with ice, it's like a display of prowess. Yeah. So it's like a luxury. It's a real luxury. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unlike now, you can just have a whole tub of it in your fridge. Yeah, often you'll go to Kohl's and the connoisseurs on sale.
Starting point is 00:34:57 Yep. You get cookies and cream. You finish it that night. Easy peasy. Similar, I'd love you to come back one day and do one about the spice trays. It was a similar thing that so many people died trying to get these spices and now it's like, you know, there's a supermarket aisle. You just advertise? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:13 I did actually, that was one topic that I did think about. I think I've set it in the hat. I think I'm staking a claim as a sort of the foodie. Yeah, you're the foodie. You're the good tuckerman. Great. You've done wine. I'll stake a claim and I'll claim some steaks.
Starting point is 00:35:29 But there's a lot of theories that- so there's competing theories. Gelato Man has one theory that the Persians were one of the first. But like, basically, a lot of the ancient cultures discovered that if you put sweet things with ice, it's a good time. Yeah. OK. And we're not talking about meth. OK. It doesn't go with spizz, dizz and then ice. OK. It's just ice and a little bit of honey.
Starting point is 00:35:57 But there's another theory. I don't know. I couldn't find much about this theory as to verify it or not, but I thought it was fun. So I'd like to share it with you. Please. There is a theory that ice cream, as we know, in terms of using dairy, came about in Mongolia, the origins of using dairy as an iced dessert. And this theory goes that Mongolian horsemen who were travelling around. We're talking like part horse, part man?
Starting point is 00:36:25 I think- Is that what you're saying? I think what we're talking about- Because I'm starting to lose a little faith in Gelato Man. Yeah. Well- Centaurs. Is he talking centaurs?
Starting point is 00:36:37 Because that's why I'm losing faith in him, because he's used the wrong term there. That's right. Mongolian centaurs. Yes. My bad. Genghis Khan was known for- Yeah, his horse legs. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of people focus on the fact that he, you know, had a lot of-
Starting point is 00:36:54 The conqwares. Yeah, had a lot of concubines. Yeah, all the territory that he gained and all that sort of stuff, but- Just glossed completely over the fact that he had four legs. Yeah. It's very easy to do that when you have four legs. When you have four legs and it's very easy to have a lot of concubines win when you're hung like a horse.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Yeah. Which he literally was. They don't ever, when they go into those half men, like Minotaur, Centaur or whatever, they're never really focusing on the- On the junk. Reproductive organs. Maybe they're just trying to be polite. Yeah. You know's just, they're just trying to be polite. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Yeah. Yeah. But it leaves a lot to the imagination is all I'm saying. Yeah. Because it's right at that cutoff, isn't it? It's right at that line where one becomes the other. Exactly. Which side of the line is it on? Nothing's ever perfect. You know, you're getting a bit from both sides of the genetic tree. It might be getting the balls.
Starting point is 00:37:44 You cook it the human balls. And horse shlong. Or human shlong. Or horse balls. You don't want that. No. You don't want that. Because that's going to make the human shlong look even less impressive.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Even less? Yeah. I think you want... I want to jump in here, too. Please. I think because, OK, you imagine a centaur front on, right? Basically looks like a man. Yes. Just standing there.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Yeah, pretty, pretty impressive legs, but it's straight back, isn't it? That horse body is straight back. So you don't get that view. Yeah. But so if you have got like what a junk in the trunk genitals. Although can I just quickly interject before it? When can I ask when you look at a horse front on, do you think he's up on his two front legs? I don't know what's going on behind.
Starting point is 00:38:30 That's a man with a weird head. Is that what you think? White long face fella. Anyway, sorry. No, I just think so. You don't want like human genitals where human genitals usually are, because then they're just right there dangling. That would be as well like yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:47 That would be the front of the horse and be like right below the neck. That would be terrible. That would be horrific. So you want it where the horse junk goes. It's out of the way. And the best thing about horse junk is the best thing about horse junk. It's a phrase I regret saying instantly. Is it retractable?
Starting point is 00:39:04 We don't have that. Yeah. The first time I saw a horse have a piss, I was a kid and it was confronting because it just goes, hop, it drops out of nowhere. And then it's just a power hose. Yeah. And then, back it goes.
Starting point is 00:39:22 Well, I don't remember it going back in, but I assume it has to. I'm sure it did, yeah. But I just dropped once and then. I didn back it goes. Well, I don't remember it going back in, but I assume it has to. I'm sure it did, yeah. But I just drop once and then- I didn't know that. So, it's like, have you seen on television, if you watch it recently, they have these commercials and one of them that I've seen- It's a long run up.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Is, you know Al Borland from Home Improvement? Yeah, yeah. He's now the man, not Al Borland, but he's now advertising a hose that's made from a special copper. Hmm. I don't think so too. It's sort of... Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Have you ever seen the footage of a grand final, AFL, Aussie Rules grand final in the 90s? And it was when home improvement was big and the game's about to start. Bruce McEvaney, like the voice of AFL football, is there doing a thing to camera. The game's about to start. Al Boland walks in and the Channel 7 sports sign is dangling.
Starting point is 00:40:24 He says, oh, I can fix that for you. And he hammers it back on in character as Al Bolan as a, all right, no worries. And walks off, it's so weird. That's so funny that the biggest day on the sporting calendar in Australia, they couldn't get Tim Downan. They just got a sidekick. He's the best celebrity. We won't go with anyone from Australia.
Starting point is 00:40:45 We're flying out Al Bolan. Al Bolan. And then, because like a band, you get them to play. What do you get Al Bolan to do? Fix a sign and a weird sketch. And then leave. So strange. Very odd.
Starting point is 00:40:57 So this is the Mongolian theory, is that the horsemen, they were travelling across the deserts and stuff, and they would go on these long journeys across the Gobi Desert. And in winter, what they would do is they would, like, fill up these animal intestines with provisions to- Still inside the- That's just called feeding an animal. Or you mean that- There's other animals, they're not horse and yeah, but they would use- And the intestines not still inside a working animal. Not inside the, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:31 They're using it as a receptacle. But they would use it as a receptacle to store food for their journey, to keep it fresh. And one of the food that they would store in there is cream. And because of the gentle clop-clop of the horse, what would happen is that as they travel through frozen environments, the desert, when it's cold, the sub-zero temperature combined with the clop-clop would sort of churn the cream. It's clip-clop, surely. Yeah, it is clip-clop.
Starting point is 00:42:00 But also, I liked- This horse is a- is it a two legged horse? It's only got left feet. Clop, clop. Yeah, there's no clipping going on. But the listeners also need to know the movement Saren's doing, because I think the sort of waving movement plus the clop, clop and the cream, it's really it's painting a picture.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Thank you. Is that where the name clopped cream comes from? No, that's not anything. Is that a name? Clotted cream. Doesn't matter. So clopped cream. So it's kind of churning it. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:42:31 And so that's one theory of the origins of sort of a dairy based ice. Doesn't that sound nice? Slowly curdling. In an intestine. Dairy inside an intestine, which I'm guessing is picking up a bit of the juices from that intestine. You would, I guess one of the early flavors would be, yeah, horse intestine. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:51 Mongolian intestine. We don't use intestines and bladders and stuff like we used to. No, we used to use them for balls. Ball, yeah. Yeah. Early footballs were bladders, but yeah, now what do they do? Go on the bin, I guess. We were a lot more sustainable back then.
Starting point is 00:43:04 Yeah. They probably end up in sausages But all right. No, they probably most definitely I would say so But not only dog food, you know, oh, yeah All the weird bits, but that's a lot of nutrition in there. Yeah beautiful for their coat. I think we're missing out Do you want some kibble? I'll bring you some kibble? That sounds good. I don't know what it is, but it sounds good. You don't know what kibble is? It's little biscuits you give to your dog. Oh, well, I don't have a dog.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Full of intestine. Kibble. In China around 1600 BC, they're also getting buffalo milk and they're freezing it with rice by packing it into snow. And apparently one of the emperors, Emperor Tang, around 600. Is he the guy who came up with the drink? I knew it. His first name was Light and.
Starting point is 00:43:52 Oh, this is a chip man. Yeah. Light and Tang. From the Thins Empire. Yeah. I don't think other places have light and tangy. Don't they? I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:44:05 Right. Oh, so you want to explain that for your international listeners? No, but I mean, I'm always so stoked when we have anything that is unique. I know. Uniquely Australian. There's so few things that are so... a flavour of chip. Light and tangy crisps. Delicious.
Starting point is 00:44:22 What flavour are they? Yeah, what would you describe it? There's some paprika in there. Green and red. Green and tangy crisps. Delicious. What flavour are they? Yeah, what would you describe it? There's some paprika in there. Green and red. Green and red. Dust. Green and red.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Dust. Delicious. It's good stuff. And it is, I would say, pretty light and a little tangy. A little bit of tang. As a child, that was my favourite flavour. Same. I think even today.
Starting point is 00:44:39 If you get a good packet. Yeah, it holds up. Sometimes you get a packet because you're feeling nostalgic and there's barely any flavouring on it. And I'm like, how fucking do you? But if you get a good packet, lots of flavouring, nothing better. It's a little bit too much emphasis on the light. Yes. I want emphasis on the tang. Yes. You've got a little light on the light and tang.
Starting point is 00:45:01 But yes, so this guy Emperor Tang, and this is about a hundred years later in 600 AD, he's obsessed with like these frozen desserts and he has a team of 90 slaves who, as you were referring to, Matt, he would send them up to the mountains to gather fresh snow and he called them his Icemen. Icemen. Icemen? Yeah. And that's because they were usually quite frosty towards him. They didn't like being sent up to the snow and they were like, Emperor, you're a bastard. Really? Well, Gelato Man has taken some liberties with this history. They would speak that way to their emperor.
Starting point is 00:45:41 That is ice cold. Wow. I would say that, yeah, just gelato man's taken some liberties. And then on top of that, I've added my own flavouring. Obviously, in India as well, they had kulfi. Have you ever had kulfi? No. So kulfi means translates to covered cup.
Starting point is 00:46:00 But it's a dessert that originated probably again in the Persian Gulf, but in the Murgul Empire in the 16th century, that's when India really takes it over. And it's basically dense evaporated milk, but they are mixing in pistachio, saffron and like other sweeteners and they're packing it into little metal cones. And it's like, again, very much the Murgal emperor. They're the big guys that went through like, they were like kind of the Arab people that came into India and conquered it and then went through Asia and South Asia and stuff. And they, it's a real delicacy.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Yeah. It's like, yeah. A real luxury again. And they're using salt pita, which is again, a salty type thing to help refrigerate and create freezing temperatures. Do you know much about the- when was- did you say the Arabs conquered parts of India? Yes. When was that approximately?
Starting point is 00:46:59 I think around like 15th, 16th century. I don't know too much about it. All I know is that they were called the moops. Oh, the moops. Yeah. So I'm going to have to accept the moos. It's the moops. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:47:12 It's the moops. Do you want me to quickly tell you what I found about Light and Tangy? Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to. This is according to junkfoodbeddy.com. And I think she probably works in cahoots with the gelato man. I think they know each other well. So she's, I think she's American and was sent a bag by an Australian and she didn't know
Starting point is 00:47:35 what any of it meant. So she's like, Thins she described as like a Lays. Yes. Yep. That would be accurate. That's equivalent. Yeah. She said, Thins light and tangy had a nice vinegar bite with an equal amount of tang. I could identify, I could definitely identify some onion in there, but it wasn't sour cream
Starting point is 00:47:52 and onion flavored. Perhaps a bit of ranch flavoring? I think ranch could count as tangy. I won't lie, I did look up the ingredients only after I tasted the chip. Some of the ingredients are vegetable powders onion tomato flavor natural flavor enhancer 621 and herbs and spices. It's all so vague. I couldn't taste any tomato, but the rest seemed on point Of course, I have no idea what 621 flavor enhancer is but hey, it's MSG. It's MSG. Is it really? Yeah. Oh, there you go No wonder light and tangy tastes so good. Yeah, it's MSG
Starting point is 00:48:22 Well, the packet just has tomato, like as in on the front. You know how it's got- Oh, the pictures. It's a picture of a bowl of chips and then next to it is a tomato and some paprika. Oh, there you go. And maybe some like, maybe peppercorn. That's all they're giving away. They don't put a little bag of Ajinomoto MSG there though. Yeah, what she says, she enjoyed the taste.
Starting point is 00:48:44 They have a nice balance of vinegar, salt and a present, but not overwhelming ranch like flavour. Nothing crazy or groundbreaking, but a fine snack nonetheless. Three and a half out of five kudos for using the Monika Lite for seemingly no reason at all. Oh, they're pretty, like they're not a dense chip. Yeah. You know, they're a thin, I mean, the company's called Thins.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Yeah. They're a thin cut chip. Yeah, they're light It would be the whole packet. It'd be bold if they're referring to the weight with the light Yeah, they're really padding out the Yeah, I think it's a lot. It's a lightly flavored chip She did bang on about how the ranch type flavor was pretty light Texture is important. So like read your own your own words, Betty. Come on, Betty. Come on, you're better than that.
Starting point is 00:49:26 I don't know if Betty is. I've turned on Betty. No, I love Betty. I love junk food, Betty. But let's get back to the history of ice cream. OK, I wonder what her thoughts are on it. So, we're going to jump forward now to the European continent. And there's some conjecture about this.
Starting point is 00:49:40 There's some theories I'd like to share about how ice cream came to be in the European context. OK. One of them is that the Arabs who were travelling around the moops went to India. It's believed that maybe the Arabs bought shrib to Italy or shabat to Italy. Another theory is that Marco Polo saw it when Emperor Tang, like it was popular in China and then when Marco Polo went to China, he saw it there and he got a recipe and brought it back to Italy. So, there's been a conjecture about that. How did, what
Starting point is 00:50:19 we, what we're interested in now though is shrub, but how did Sorbetto evolve. Isn't there, there's conjecture that Marco Polo haven't ever made it to China, isn't there? Or is there not? There is conjecture about that. So that's part of, that would probably rule it out. If he never even went there, which is the same. There's like a myth about that the Italians got passed on from seeing noodles. From the same thing, right?
Starting point is 00:50:43 Yeah, I think from Marco Polo. But I reckon, how do you know if Marco Polo made it to China or not? I don't know what you're calling out his name. Exactly. But if he's to win the game, he's meant to avoid you. But he's asked to say his name and if you can hear it in China, Polo. True. Then you know he's- He's in China.
Starting point is 00:51:00 In China. Yeah. Unless someone else is just saying Polo, but that'd be weird. But someone might have been very far from him and they're calling out Marco and they can't hear the polar. Oh, true. Yeah, because China's quite big, I don't know if you know why that is. He never made it here. It's actually- it's- yeah, it's pretty- like, you could definitely be in two different places in China and not hear each other.
Starting point is 00:51:19 Is that true? That's for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was China China back then? Great question. You know what I mean? Or was it like many smaller kingdoms? Probably smaller kingdoms. Some of them within earshot and some of them not. What are we doing?
Starting point is 00:51:35 We're having a great time. Having a bit of fun. Having fun with friends. Everyone's fine. So here are some theories about how crushed ice that's flavoured evolves to gelato, and which a lot of consensus is that this happened in Italy. Mm hmm. So, there's Sicilian people who are making sorbetto, which is just like a water based sweet ice.
Starting point is 00:51:57 And then a fisherman from Sicily creates the first gelato by using snow from Mount Etna to make a creamy dessert that he would sell from his boat while he's sailing around the coastline of Sicily. And then because of the popularity of this, other fishermen start making gelato as well. And it's their competition that sparks the start of this race war to- not, it's not a race war. Race, slash, and a race. Race war? Sorry, race, slash, and or war. Gotcha, yes.
Starting point is 00:52:28 It's not a race war yet. It's a race, it's a war, it's not a race. No. Yes. There's another- It's a man, it's a horse, it's a man, it's not a horse man. There's a theory that there's a guy called Cosimo Urguieri and he's an alchemist and he works in the court of Catherine Medici. And she later goes on to be the Queen of France when she marries a guy called Henry.
Starting point is 00:52:56 And. I think it's probably. Only. Only. Literally thinking the exact same thing. That's what I was thinking. That's why I did a big pause. I'll pronounce that wrong. That's what I was thinking. That's why I did a big pause. I was like, I've pronounced that wrong. That's probably on-whee. On-whee?
Starting point is 00:53:08 It's like Henry. On-whee? I love how French, it changes the words. Like as a kid, there was a tennis player called, who I thought was Guy Forget, but it was Guy Forget. But it's like, it looks G-Y-U. Guy Forget. F-O-R-G-E-T. it's like G-Y-U, guy, forget, F-O-R-G-E-T,
Starting point is 00:53:27 guy, forget. G-Y-U. G-U-Y. Double checking. Forget. Forget. Yep. Well, that's what I did.
Starting point is 00:53:35 And I accidentally spelled it wrong, but that's better, don't it? That could have been the spelling and I edited it. Also, guy is the kind of name you'd have when you were prone to forgetting it. Mm. Hey, Guy. Yeah. Good to see you, Guy. Ah, forget. But yeah, so there's one theory is that this guy...
Starting point is 00:53:53 Forget. Another version of that name would be... He knows that... Bro missed my place. Bro, where was I again? Where am I? Oh, yeah. Something you should know during reports on the show.
Starting point is 00:54:11 This is the first time you've done one with me here. No, I'm enjoying it. It's, yeah, it sucks. And hopefully it gets fixed. Hopefully it gets fixed in the attic. Please, AJ, make me less tedious. So, Guy, I think the running joke is just a hard break back to the report so far. Yeah, it works.
Starting point is 00:54:31 It's kind of the only way to keep it going. Cosimo Ruggeri, he works for Catherine de Medici and she has a sweet tooth. And so he creates this flavor, which is we know today as Fiora di Latte which means flour of the milk and he's serving it to her and it doesn't contain egg or cream so this is why some people think that this is likely to be the first kind of gelato that's like just milk based basically, just a sweetened milk that he's churning using this kind of icy technology or icy idea that's come from either China or maybe the Arabs brought to Italy.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Another theory which I like is about Bernardo Buontalenti. And I like it because Buontalenti, it would mean good talent. Yeah. So you're bound to do good things. Yeah. Yeah. That's just nominative determinism. And he is an architect, an artist and an engineer, which I would say-
Starting point is 00:55:35 He's got good talent. He's got good talent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's multi-talented. He's multi-talented. And that's a good thing? If he- he'd be a great contestant on Italy's Good Talent, I think. Yeah, one of my favourite shows.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Italy's Good Talent. Italy's Good Talent. Well, I think we've found him. Or Italo Buon Talent. Anyway, he's- he likes to experiment because he's got good talent. And so he comes up with this recipe for like a richer, creamier kind of ice treat, gelato a la crema, and that he's using egg now. And so this is around 1565 that some of his recipes apparently were first discovered. I think...
Starting point is 00:56:24 Don't you think this is something we could do? Like we could reinvent the game by going, let's get even more cream in again. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's what he's done. Why don't we find out whatever the creamiest ice cream is now and go double it. Let's see what happens when you just add more cream. Add more cream. Just freeze cream. Yeah, and then we- Don't add anything. That's right. I think I could tell you what would happen.
Starting point is 00:56:45 Oh, okay. Now we're onto something. Okay. Should I call up some shop fronts? Get a space. Yes. Get a space. Yes.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Yeah. Because this is going to be huge. This is going to be huge. Shop fronts. Let's get some vans. Yeah, okay. Vans. We're going to need a factory.
Starting point is 00:57:01 We might even be able to drive this around. Fantastic. Okay. We drive it around able to drive this around. Fantastic. Okay. We drive it around. I've been- We play some music. I've been looking for somewhere to put this jing-love come on with. Uh-huh. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun? Dun dun dun dun dun. That almost sounds like Medieval. Yeah, yeah, I'm playing on a lute.
Starting point is 00:57:25 Cool. Yeah, yeah. I reckon we use that. Okay. We play that, we drive around with the van, we play dun dun dun dun dun dun dun, and then I'll sing over the top. What do you think, Jess?
Starting point is 00:57:37 Do you think when you hear that immediately, what do you think of? My mouth is watering. Yeah. Okay, great. I could really go a treat. That would be underneath, and then over the top I'm just going ice cream!
Starting point is 00:57:46 Ice cream! Come and get your ice cream! Come and get it! Come and get the ice cream! Okay. Come and get the ice cream! I'm losing a little bit with those. Okay. Well no, this is workshopping. Oh yeah, no bad ideas. So your mouth has stopped watering?
Starting point is 00:58:03 Yes. My mouth is dry. My mouth is dry. My mouth is dry. That's not what we want to achieve. Okay, all right. Okay, what about? Tough is. Okay, what about?
Starting point is 00:58:12 Yeah, don't worry about what we're up to anyway. It's probably too cool for you. Yeah. Hey. I wanna find out. We're just in this van, chilling out, listening to some tunes. Yeah, probably better if you don't follow and see what we've got.
Starting point is 00:58:26 No, now it's actually feeling like you're about to kidnap me. Oh, okay. Yeah, you have gone too far there. Okay. All right, let's just scrap the talking all together. Yeah. Let's just play the loop. I think that's good.
Starting point is 00:58:36 So, Catherine Medici, she obviously falls in love with this sweetened treat that the Bontalante has made. Yeah. And when she goes to marry King, he's not yet the King. He's the Duke of Orléans, but his name is Henri. Is that old Orléans? He's Henri II. Oh, he is well. He's the second Henri. Oh, OK.
Starting point is 00:58:57 So I don't think he had a choice in how to pronounce it. Yeah, it was already locked in. First one, Henri I might have been like, it's Henry I. Yeah. But he went with Omwe. Yeah. Omwe. And so, he said, you know what? I don't care what letters are in this word.
Starting point is 00:59:12 I'm not going to say any of them. And I'm the first one to do it. So I get to choose. There's a cuneiform and I'm saying on that, it's Omwe. Omwe. So that- so basically, because of gelato's popularity in Italy, Medici, she loves it. She takes it to France and that's where France becomes, you know, it started to be being sold in the, in the royal courts there.
Starting point is 00:59:42 And it's like, if you are a king, if you've got a chef, because back in those days, it was like, it was only the royal courts that had chefs. Kings aren't doing their own cooking? Kings aren't doing their own cooking. You're joking. Poor, must be nice. No, must be nice. Must be real nice.
Starting point is 01:00:00 Oh, but don't you think of cooking as a bit of a treat, you know? Sort of almost like a meditation. No. It's like cathartic, yeah. I don't you think of cooking as a bit of a treat, you know, sort of almost like a meditation. No, it's like cathartic. Yeah, I don't. I can do it. I don't enjoy it. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:12 You are a king. That means you're a king. I am a king. I am a king. There is one king who still does his own cooking and he is the Burger King. So, uh. I wouldn't call that cooking. That's true.
Starting point is 01:00:26 I was so sure you were going to say Jamie Oliver or something like that. I thought you were going to say yourself. I was like, that's cute. Burger King is very funny. That's good stuff. Write that down. What's the angry chef called? Gordon Ramsay.
Starting point is 01:00:39 Gordon Ramsay. I thought you were going to say Gordon Ramsay. Or Huey. Huey. Louis in the news. No. Big Huey. Huey. Louis and the News. No. Oh. Big Huey.
Starting point is 01:00:48 Huey's Cooking Adventures. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Never trust a skinny chef. He's an angry guy, apparently. Is he really? No. I do not believe it. I feel it's like an Ellen DeGeneres
Starting point is 01:00:57 global kind of scandal. I refuse to believe that. No. La la la la la la la. Not Huey. I will not hear this said about Huey. Well, you both have good instincts because I just made that up. I think Aunty Donna used to, their old rehearsal space was ranked in the pit. His old studio?
Starting point is 01:01:11 Yeah, it was his studio and like, I think he had his signage up and stuff. That's amazing. Yeah. Aunty Donna and Big Huey. So they just left it in that he had his own studio, no one was using it for years. Am I thinking that right? I remember, you went there. Didn't we go there to see a rehearsal, like a dry run or something?
Starting point is 01:01:28 I don't think so. Hmm. I might have made all of that up then. Wow. Because in my head, Jess was in that memory. No, but much like Dave is always- Dave's soul is always with us. Yes. I am actually in all of your memory.
Starting point is 01:01:41 Yeah, I put you in post. Yeah, that's right. So in France, thanks to the Queen of France, Catherine, ice cream has taken off a little bit or gelato, sorry. And then a little later on in the 1600s, French King Louis XIV. So many Louis. There are so many Louis. He's not even, that's early Louis.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Right. 14 is like early Louis. I think eventually you get into like 20s. Really? I think so. I've got a friend Louis now. Isn't that crazy? What number?
Starting point is 01:02:16 I feel like you don't. They stop counting. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't know what number he is. Yeah. I'm just saying you don't hear Louis as much in modern times. No. I feel.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Yeah, I was at a dog park the other day. There was a Louie. Okay. Yeah. It might have been him. It was a cockatoo. He is a dog. Yeah. I think that's how names evolve. They get retired from humans eventually and they become dog names. Once you hit too many counts, we can't keep count anymore. We're like, ah, let's give it to a dog. It's like dog years. Yeah. Human names. It's all the same.
Starting point is 01:02:42 It's absolutely that. Yeah. Yeah. Every, you know, back in like the, I think it was probably the 20s, 30s. A's all the same. Yeah. Yeah. You know, back in like the I think it was probably the 20s, 30s. A lot of men called Goose. Yeah. Well, you don't see a man named Goose anymore. No. My dog's name. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's been retired. It'll come back. You don't hear any Rex's anymore. That's a dog's name. My family GP is a Rex.
Starting point is 01:02:58 Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Yeah. Because he's the last one. Yeah. He's the last one. Rex Hunt. Him and Rex Hunt. He's 400 years old. How good is this? My GP when I lived in Sydney, his name was Lex. Lex, and you trusted him? Well, his name was Lex Billson, which is a private eye name.
Starting point is 01:03:15 Yes. Not a GP name. Not a GP. But he was very good at asking questions. OK. Lex. Well, he was a private eye. He was a private eye, oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:23 Very trustworthy. That's true. And I do call him Lex sometimes. This is so confusing. Anyway, sorry, we keep interrupting you. No, it's beautiful. It's not. Hey, Saran, please do go on.
Starting point is 01:03:33 We're gonna shut up for a bit. Okay, so this guy who is the, he's like the chef guy in French King Louis XIV's court. He becomes renowned for making this great gelato and serving the frozen delicacy in these royal courts and these big banquets. His name is Francesco Procopio. He's a Sicilian chef. And I think part of the reason Louis brings him into the court is because the Sicilians, they've been making this gelato. Right. And gelato is popular in France, but no one's making it quite as well as the Sicilians. So, Procopio, in 1684, he opens Paris's oldest cafe, which is called Cafe Procope.
Starting point is 01:04:16 It was the oldest when he opened it. Yeah. Yeah. But that also technically is true. Yeah, it's funny way of saying the first cafe. You mock it. Or it's the oldest still running. It's like the first cafe. First ever cafe.
Starting point is 01:04:33 In 1684. And it's like for refined gentlemen from the court. Oh, great. Louis the Four Tensper. That's fantastic. But I can't. I love a cafe. You're not refined.
Starting point is 01:04:44 You're not refined. You might be a gentleman. Get fucked. I am refined. No, but I can't. I love a cafe. You're not refined. You're not refined. You might be a gentleman. Get fucked. I am refined. No, you've just proved it there. What? Yeah. Your tone. Oh, come on. Your tone was not refined. Guess what would happen there?
Starting point is 01:04:56 People would have intellectual conversations. Yes, just like cafes now. Yeah. So it's revolutionary for its time, but it's quite normal now. But he would serve coffee instead of wine. I guess that's what makes it a cafe. Yep. Cafe just means coffee. And also, because he's a Gelato guy, he's crowning jewel is Gelato.
Starting point is 01:05:15 And it's all the elite are coming here. People like Voltaire, who runs just a comedy night. Yeah. North Melbourne corner. North Melbourne. But yeah, he also- I think we learn about him in the recent Lotto episode. He- I think his whole career- he found a loophole in a lotto and made a fortune and his whole career was funded by that.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Oh my god. Lotto loophole. Wow. So he's like the- he's like the David Walsh. Yeah, that's right Yeah, gambling system. Beautiful. David Walsh being the- The Mona? The Mona, yeah. Museum of New Art and Oba.
Starting point is 01:05:52 I knew that. Oh, I did, I did. I swear. Why are you looking at me like that, just I knew. And he keeps finding loopholes, I think. He still just- Yeah. Lives off gambling. Figured out a system.
Starting point is 01:06:09 I hope that museum survives him. You know what I mean? Like, if it is being funded by this one guy gambling, what happens afterwards? I'm sure they've thought of that. Yeah. Hopefully. Probably. Although I think it's getting to the point, and this is not part of the report, but where they're like, I don't know, this guy should be, we let this guy pay no tax from his gambling system because he was giving back to the city of Hobart with this museum.
Starting point is 01:06:35 But now it's like, we should probably, we would have made so much more money if we just made him pay tax. So I think they're trying to crack down on, which will be an interesting development for that museum. But also a real opportunity for another state to take him on tax free. Bring just bring mine into Victoria. Uproot this underground museum and bring it in. Yeah, chuck it in Docklands. We've got space for it.
Starting point is 01:06:59 Yeah. So one thing I should have pointed out, by the way, which I forgot to, but it's kind of obvious, is that it's still, we're in the 1600s, it's still like very difficult to store or obtain ice. Yeah, still don't have phrases. So that, so this guy Procipio, he's serving this gelato in his cafe, it's still truly a novelty. And that's why there's, there's like people, you know, I don't know who Rousseau is, but
Starting point is 01:07:21 Voltaire's there, there's like French luminaries are coming. This is big. It's like a huge part in in French culture in Paris. And this cafe really popularises gelato throughout France. That's interesting. I don't think of I don't connect France with gelato or ice cream or anything. I think of it as like a really Italian thing, but it sounds like it was instrumental in it, in its popularisation. Yeah, because of what happens next, which is, again, there's more conjecture about
Starting point is 01:07:55 this, but the essentially the English would never admit to it because they don't like to claim anything from France. They don't like claiming anything at all from other countries. No. But King Charles I, it becomes obsessed with ice cream and it's like, where would he have got it from? Yeah. It's just across the channel.
Starting point is 01:08:19 It was just, you know, it was, what do you call it, parallel thinking. So that's what the English would claim is. So we just came up with the idea. And because of the history of like, yeah, it makes sense if you put some sort of sweet flavouring with ice, it takes- people seem to fucking love it. Yeah. So that's that's their claim is like, yeah, we just came up with this ourselves. That was super linked.
Starting point is 01:08:40 Like a lot of the kings of England were French. They're all intermarrying. Yeah. And it's like, and it is like, well, these guys in their royal courts are impressing people with this gelato. Yeah. Well, I want to do that too. So, the first time he's there, he's like, oh, this is interesting.
Starting point is 01:08:55 Yeah, I love it. It's actually very similar to what I've also come up with. Yeah. It's so interesting. Mine's better, obviously, but very similar. Yeah. This is a great start. How do you make this? Just to see if I make it the same?
Starting point is 01:09:07 Yeah that's how I used to make it. I've developed a little further than that. I put double the cream in. It's going to be big. Yeah how much cream do you put in? Yeah I put double that. I put double that so that's interesting. Mine's I guess better but it's okay.
Starting point is 01:09:15 Yeah twice as good. But thank you for this. It's so nice. Thank you. That's great. It actually takes me back to when I was starting out. So, King Charles the first, he's obsessed with it. He starts paying a pension of £500 a year to a guy to be his personal ice cream maker.
Starting point is 01:09:36 Oh. And part of the £500, which would have been so much money back, I guess, then, is Adna. But part of it is to make sure that this guy keeps the recipe secret. Oh. Because King Charles wants to be the only person who has it. There were banquets, there's records of banquets where King Charles is hosting people. And it's like only the table. I guess to me, I envisage it a bit like a wedding scenario where there's a banquet. There's a table at the very front of the banquet, which is all the real royal people. And they're the only people eating actual gelato and the rest of the people are just
Starting point is 01:10:11 watching on in like hushed tones. Watching them eat gelato. Yeah. And they have their own little dessert treats, whatever they would have, but the gelato was preserved for that banquet table. He wouldn't let anyone have the recipe. Again, now you can just get a tub of it. Yeah. And put it in your freezer at home. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:27 I've just had a look. So Charles is from the house of Stuart. So one of my ancestors and I suppose that doesn't matter. That's just the French. That's actually the French French influence. But he married Henrietta Maria of France. So he's like, I have no connection.
Starting point is 01:10:47 How would I have figured that out? Did France is doing this? Oh, you think I talk to my wife? We have separate wings. Okay. She feeds me. Apart from hello on our wedding day. Nothing.
Starting point is 01:11:02 Nothing. And maybe at our honeymoon. Yeah. I had a frozen treat. Yeah. OK. Sure. Maybe I'll have a taste. What happened? What happens on the honeymoon stays on the honeymoon. Yeah. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:11:15 Move on. That's private. Get over it. Geez. Gosh. Geez. Leave us alone. At this point in time, it would be there was like a big wooden box that they would like put in the cream and the ice
Starting point is 01:11:34 into and then you'd have to sort of hand crank it. Right. To make it. Just like Charles on these honeymoon. But so it's still very impractical. Rich people are starting to build ice houses at this time and they like to store ice, but it's pretty much the common man does not have any means of storing ice still by this time. Jump forward a little bit to the 1800s. As technology allows people to store ice a little bit more economically in their homes. Ice cream is like,
Starting point is 01:12:06 of course, people are going to start desiring it to have it available in their homes. Imagine. We're talking Fisher and Parkle. Before Ben and Jerry could walk, Fisher and Parkle had to crawl. There was Fisher and, they had to crawl. And one of the great early comedy doers, Fisher and Parkle. I think it was Hall and Oates. Straight man. Yeah. Hall and Oates and Fisher and Parkle. Yeah. Hall and Oates. One of the great straight men. Yeah. Hall and Oates and Fisher and Bacall.
Starting point is 01:12:26 Yeah. Hall and Oates, yeah, that worked so good. They headlined the very first Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Man-Eater is one of the funniest songs. She's a man-eater? Yeah. What? Really? Just by herself?
Starting point is 01:12:37 That's so funny. It's a whole man. A whole man. That is really good. Over a few nights or? Make your ba-ba. Left good. Over a few nights or? Make your ba ba over a few nights. It's a left over man eater. Man eater.
Starting point is 01:12:51 Her eyes bigger than her stomach. Try and eat the man, including Scott. Man eater. Remember when we said we'd shut up for a bit? Didn't we? Ah, true. Let's get to the 1800s. Let's let's jump forward in time to the 1800s.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Ice cream is a bit more readily available. It's still not like something you can easily get at home, but they now have like carts. People like a lot of Italian migrants and stuff have know the recipe. They can get ice. Like if you're on a commercial scale, you can get access to ice. Again, it would be like people are going to Canada or in Canada, they're harvesting ice. And then they've got the technology enough to keep it cool on ships. They basically put like straw and hay over the ice, which helps to absorb some of the heat
Starting point is 01:13:43 and stops it from melting. Wow. And so, then they're shipping ice over to London, places like London and New York, and vendors are getting the ice and using it to make ice cream in basically, yeah, those machines which are like wooden boxes and they're hand cranking the ice cream. Oh my God. By that time, so mid 1800s, people, yeah, you can buy ice cream on the street, but-
Starting point is 01:14:08 In a cone? It's not yet in a cone. Oh, are you going to reveal who came up with the cone? I am. And if it was Mr Whippy? Mr Whippy, that's a great name for a van. Oh, yeah, I don't know where that just popped into my head. That's fantastic. I guess it would like, it would make the most sense if if we whipped the cream. Oh, OK. Know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:14:30 No one's doing that, surely? Yeah. So we double whip, double whip, double whip, double cream. Double whip, double whip, double cream, frozen and then put in a cone. Oh, maybe we could like make it kind of like look pretty, like it's got like a bit of a twirl. A bit of a twirl. Yeah. What are we going to make the cones out of? Paper? Wait for it. I'll get to it. So we're in the mid 1800s.
Starting point is 01:14:53 He's good. That is good stuff. Should we get rid of Dave? Yeah. That's something we should do in the future. Yeah. We should think about doing- Yeah. We should start the process of thinking about getting rid of Dave. So yeah, people, they have these things called penny licks. Have you heard of these?
Starting point is 01:15:14 Penny licks. I've heard of $2 peeps. Is it similar? Yeah, but it's less something you do with your eyes and more with your tongue. Ah. And it only costs a penny. I would have thought it'd be more expensive. In for a penny to watch someone pound.
Starting point is 01:15:32 Okay. That's nice. Yeah, that confirms it. Dave is gone. So, Pennylic basically what it is, is these people, these vendors on the street, they- we didn't have cones yet. We didn't have easy access to, like, a disposable cup. So, they had a glass, basically a small glass that they would serve the ice cream in.
Starting point is 01:15:58 And this is in London and in the States in, like, the early 19th century. and in the States in like the early 19th century. And what they would do is you would buy for one penny the ice cream, but you would have to return the glass, which is like a thick, thick little glass base in a small glass. And there's a shallow kind of thing with the ice cream on top. And it's a bit of an optical illusion. It looks like more ice cream than it actually is. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:25 But you lick, you lick it clean. There's not even a spoon situation. You're just licking the ice cream. They didn't think of spoons. Fucking hell. And, and then you have to return the glass vent to the vendor. So you have to, you stay nearby. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:40 You're consuming it there. You take two steps away, maintain eye contact, lick this little glass clean. I mean, it's basically what we do at a pub, you know. True. Yeah, it's true. I lick my beers clean and then return the glass. While making eye contact with the bartender. So it's a penny lick for you and a peep show for the vendor.
Starting point is 01:16:58 They get to watch you sort of. They're getting paid to peep? That's the dream. And what's happening is people are like, some people are walking off with the glasses, some people, they're dropping them and they're breaking them. So it's much like a pop. But. They're hitting each other over the head with them after getting these sugar highs. Something far worse is happening, OK? And in an incident in 1854, there's like a festival of- in Massachusetts,
Starting point is 01:17:31 Beverly, Massachusetts. Beautiful. And a number of people fall ill after they've eaten some pineapple flavoured ice cream. Okay. And the doctors at the time are blaming this and some other incidents of people eating at these Penny Licks and getting sick. They think it's because of the, like, preservatives that they're putting in. Not the sharing. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:17:51 Not everyone licking the same bit of glass. Yeah. So, they think it's because of this butyric ether that they're putting in it to preserve it. And that's- they get that from, like, rancid butter. They get this compound from rancid butter and they're putting it into the ice cream. There's a butter's already gone rancid. That maybe it will help preserve the ice cream. They're using dyes to colour the ice cream and people think that it's like arsenic or whatever that is making them sick.
Starting point is 01:18:19 So. But in the end, it turns out it's just the combination of pineapple and ice cream. Yuck. No good. What is that? Basically, they stop using these additives, but people are still getting sick. They think maybe it's the vanilla. Maybe we're allergic to vanilla.
Starting point is 01:18:34 People are still going to eat there? Humans are allergic to vanilla. We know that to be true. It's funny, like you watch a period drama and they kind of like, you do go, fuck, we have, we've come pretty far. Haven't we? Like they just, the things they don't know how to do or they, the people are dying of the most basic things or. It's going to, it'll be the same looking back in 200 years.
Starting point is 01:18:54 Oh yeah. Assuming that, you know, humanity exists, they're going to be like, can you believe it that they didn't know how to just, uh, they just teleport and to, to cure themselves from the flu, they just had and to cure themselves from the flu. They just had to like punch themselves in the chin. Yeah. They just had to spin around three times. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Clockwise. Oh my God. So cute. So silly. People got really sick from the flu back then. They were injecting little flus into their body. Yeah. It was wild.
Starting point is 01:19:19 They could have just spun around. They should have known. Leeches. It all comes back around. Yeah. Leeches actually did solve everything. Yeah. Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic,
Starting point is 01:19:34 not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back with 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. From your ghost Lentimos, the Academy Award-nominated director of Poor Things and the Favorite, comes Kinds of Kindness, a darkly hilarious and unpredictable film that critics are calling mind-bendingly brilliant. Featuring an all-star cast led by Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons and Willem Dafoe.
Starting point is 01:20:11 Kinds of Kindness is a wild ride that will leave audiences discussing the experience long after it's over. Don't miss Kinds of Kindness now playing in select theaters. Some people thought that they were getting poisoned because of over-eating. And so they're like violating the laws of decency and digestion. Oh, for fuck's sake. Morality. There's a quote from a doctor and he says, every fellow takes particular delight in gorging himself and his best girl, not only with ice cream, cake and candy, but with
Starting point is 01:20:44 every variety of indigestible substance. Jess, you're my best girl, not only with ice cream, cake and candy, but with every variety of indigestible substance. Jess, you're my best girl. Thank you. What a funny phrase. Yeah, it would have been nice if you were sitting next to each other and you could have put your fingers out. That's 100% when we would have touched hands, yes.
Starting point is 01:20:59 You're my best girl. Yeah. And I would have said, you're not my best boy. So, it's quite funny, though, that these ice cream, that's like people are panicking at this. Like, today our concern is, is AI going to be the end of us? But, you know, in society in the 1800s, they had problems like ice cream over eating. Which isn't a problem anymore. They think the problem is in the ice cream, but people are still eating it. It's yeah, you're like, are you happy just to continue to be in the guinea pigs?
Starting point is 01:21:28 Yeah, the problem is the bacteria from multiple other strangers disgusting mouths. And we do we have found that the first person we eat each day doesn't get sick, but they get increasingly more sick. Do you think they're washing the glasses ever? Yeah, is this before detergent? I think I think they're probably giving it a? Yeah. Is this before detergent? I think they're probably giving it a little rinse. That's not enough. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:49 It depends on how hot the water is. Is it really hot? But I reckon what happens is when you go to eat the Penny Lick or you purchase the Penny Lick, the person who has ate it before you has nicked off. Yes. Because they had to maintain eye contact with the vendor for so long. As soon as they're done, they're just getting straight out of there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:09 So you wouldn't, they were not even a trace. You don't even, you think you're the first person. Every person thought they were the first person. What, four o'clock in the afternoon you think you're the first one? Nah, mate, you're kidding yourself. You got real main character syndrome. What's that called actually? Main character energy.
Starting point is 01:22:21 Main character syndrome. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They got that. Yeah. I reckon. Well, I mean you. Yeah, yeah. They got that. I reckon. Well, I mean, you get into an Uber.
Starting point is 01:22:27 Do you think about the person who was sitting in there just before you? Just farting up a storm just before you? No. You do when you catch one like we did in Sydney and they- And we licked the walls. And we licked the walls. No, they were- remember there was the windows- Oh yeah, the Post-it notes.
Starting point is 01:22:38 There was a driver who had different coloured Post-it note pads and encouraged you to write messages and they were just like all on the inside of the car. So you couldn't see out of the windows? No. OK, yeah, it's not a safe place. Sydney's not a very pretty place. He asked us to put it on the windshield as well, the front windshield. No, no. Over his eyes.
Starting point is 01:23:00 So, yeah, but you're correct, Jess. Basically, what's happened is that it is the bacteria of other people licking these licky cups. Because our mouths are gross. So, they are. Mouths are disgusting. Well, you don't have to say ours. Yours is, sure. Yours is. Mine is not.
Starting point is 01:23:20 Yours is pristine. Yeah, I know. I'm very jealous. I have a disgusting mouth. Oh, yeah. My mouth is- Yours is perfect. You gargle. Benedictine wants a 10 minute- every 10 minutes. Yeah, every know I'm very jealous. I have a disgusting mouth. Oh yeah, my mouth. Yours is perfect. You gargle, Benedictine wants a 10 minute, every 10 minutes. Yeah, every 10 minutes. We have to stop recording every 10 minutes so Matt can gargle. Well, the main reason is because I just never know when our Queen, Elizabeth II, is going to come visit.
Starting point is 01:23:40 That's right. And I need my mouth to be ready for a Queen's visit at any moment. That's right. So that's that's the reason. Any day now she's going to come. How do you tend to greet the Queen when she comes? Well, I don't know, open mouth kiss. Well, as is customary. Isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, what you have to do when you greet a Queen is close your eyes
Starting point is 01:24:03 while you're still quite far away from it and just go. Yeah. And wait for quite a while. And hope that your mouths connect. Yeah. You have to close your eyes early though. It's rude otherwise. Yes. And then after it, you're not allowed to make some sort of judgment about whether or not it was the queen? No, not allowed to be uncouped. You have to keep your eyes closed until the Royal Highness has left the room.
Starting point is 01:24:29 And then you can open your eyes. Yeah. And then every now and then you got corgied. She's a prankster. She's a prankster. Well, she's got leap. This is a long process. It's quite a cumbersome sort of routine and ritual.
Starting point is 01:24:46 Yeah. So sometimes if she has eight people to meet, she'll meet one of them and the other seven, she'll send in- Yeah, send in the corgis. Seven corgis. Yep. Send in the corgis? It's a bit like Russian roulette, but it's the British version.
Starting point is 01:25:01 Yeah. You get to- Yeah. Yeah. Sm get to... Yeah. Yeah. Smog the clean? Instead of the one bullet. There's seven empty chambers. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:11 We're talking an eight shooter. You know there's eight shooters. Corgi kisses. But because of the Penny Lick people getting poisoned, this leads to what you asked about before, Matt, the invention of- Fischer & Pichl. The cone. Oh, the cone.
Starting point is 01:25:28 Yes. We're not even up to the fridge yet. Yeah. That's really- so it was- it wasn't- it was invented as a disposable receptacle. Yeah. Edible receptacle. Wow. Which you might think that the cone came after the cup, but the little paper cups that you
Starting point is 01:25:46 get when you get gelato. That was after the cone. Yeah, that was actually after the cone. That's interesting. Okay, so the story begins on Wall Street in Manhattan. This guy's name is Macchioni. He's another Italian. He's a resident of Hoboken.
Starting point is 01:25:58 And he's working- That feels so perfect. Hoboken. Macchioni. I live in Hoboken. Macchioni. I live in Hoboken. Well, they- he's like a pushcart vendor and he's serving ice cream to his fellow New Yorkites. And he- they used to call out the Italian vendors in New York when they were pushing the carts, they used to call out Eccone Pocco. And so they got the nickname Hokey Pokey Men.
Starting point is 01:26:26 A little bit of casual racism there. Oh. I guess, I don't know. But Hokey Pokey, because people couldn't understand what they were saying. That's where the Hokey Pokey, that's what the Hokey Pokey is all about. Yeah. And the Eko Un Poko means here's a little. So that's what they were calling it. Here's a little.
Starting point is 01:26:43 Hokey Pokey is like a weird old dance, but it's also, isn't it a, it's a flavour of ice cream? Yeah. Yeah. So was it flavour of ice cream first? Before people were doing the Hokey Pokey. Is that a common song dance thing? I reckon the song probably came first.
Starting point is 01:27:02 That's my guess. But the song is instructing you how to dance. Probably came at the same time. You put your left down in, you did the bam, bam, you did the dink, dink, dink, and you shake it all about. You do the hoola, hoola, hoola. According to Google, that song was released in 1993. Okay.
Starting point is 01:27:19 That can't be right. That can't be right. That is around the time that I would have been hearing it. Matt's as old as the wind and he would have heard it as a child. It's been around for a long time. Oh sorry, did you say 1993? I thought you said 1993 BC. So this guy, Marcioni, he's very important to our story because he,
Starting point is 01:27:39 he's tired, he gets frustrated with people dropping the glass and breaking it and walking off with it. They're still doing glass. And also, yeah, by this time in London, it's been banned because of fears of cholera and whatnot. And so, Mark Chiaolani, he basically, he spends his nights coming up with the idea of using like a pastry as a form or a vessel. He figures out that if you get a waffle and you roll it up and you shape it into a thing,
Starting point is 01:28:19 when it cools, it'll be kind of hard and can hold ice cream. He hasn't yet figured out that it will hold ice cream, but he's been playing around with waffles and he's like been playing around with that. Then he starts selling ice cream at the St. Louis World Fair. Man, World Fairs. Have you heard of the Louisiana Purchase or something? Yeah. World Fairs are how so many big things have started.
Starting point is 01:28:45 It's incredible. Yeah. Like the Awful Tower was launched at one. Yeah, that's true. And all sorts of things. But there is, yes. Is this the story where there was a waffle guy next to it, but that's been debunked, has it?
Starting point is 01:28:59 Or that is real? Well, so there is a story. The current is attributed to a guy called Ernest A. Humwe, who's like a Syrian migrant to the US, and he's at the St. Louis World Fair and he's selling waffles. Basically, it's like a Syrian version of a waffle. It's called a zelabi, which is kind of, if you look at it, it looks like a flat waffle, like a thin long waffle rather than like the shape that you'd imagine. But it's pretty much the same thing. It's like got the ridges and it's
Starting point is 01:29:31 texturally the same. I'm hungry. Yeah. Yum. He's selling them. They're crisp pastries and the booth next to him is an ice cream vendor and there's queues going out the wazoo for this ice cream. People are loving it and he's like unable to basically keep up with the demand because the queues are going so long.
Starting point is 01:29:53 He's running out of vessels to serve it in and then this ice cream vendor turns to the waffle man next to him who's El Humwy and asks him if he can have one of the waffles and he rolls it up because he's already been experimenting with the waffles. Yeah. And he does that. It sets pretty quickly and then he scoops in the ice cream to it. And then so basically they start teaming up and Humwy, people love, people start buying
Starting point is 01:30:24 the waffles people stop putting ice cream in it and then that's the origins of the ice cream cone. Yum. And that's true. Well so. Because I swear I've heard that and then also someone being like um actually that is a apocryphal or whatever. According to gelato man.com. Okay. What happened happened is that the person who was selling the ice cream was never credited in that story. So people talk about St. Louis and the St. Louis World Fair as the origins of the ice cream cone, but they accredited it to the waffle man.
Starting point is 01:30:59 And then the daughter of, or like granddaughter, I think, of Marcioni, she actually, she was looking into it because she found all these records of her dad that had, he had like been experimenting because he was a bit of a technician as well. He was also a Buon Talenti, he was a good talent. He'd experimented with like different molds to make waffles or pastry cones, basically. And had like, she found little records in his house of sketches of how to like, create these moulds that you could put it in so you could mass produce cones. And then she was researching and she found out that he actually was at the St. Louis World's Fair. So her conjecture is that he was the mystery ice cream man next to Ernest A.
Starting point is 01:31:45 Humwe. And because he'd already been playing around with the idea of using pastry to set and have as a cone, that basically you could walk away, you could take the ice cream with you, you didn't have to lick it and return the glass. Because he was the one flirting with that idea, she reckons he was the one, the mystery ice cream man that was next to the Syria guy. That would make sense. That would make sense. So they basically came up with it together. And then from that, people were spread that, oh, you can use pastry as a vessel for the ice cream. And so St. Louis, other businessmen in St. Louis got onto it and then they they basically
Starting point is 01:32:26 took that idea and patented because also this guy, Marcioni, is the first guy to have a patent for ice cream cones. So it does make sense that he, unless it's another case of parallel thinking, but it kind of makes sense that he was the one who was next to this waffle maker at the St. Louis World Fair. Yeah, right. And that changed everything. They make everything edible now. Yeah. You can get, sometimes I make spoons, Heston Blumenthal. Yeah. Waffle spoons, waffle hats. Yep. You wear a hat for a day.
Starting point is 01:32:58 Fairy bun hats. Sit in the house down, eat your hat. That's where the saying, I'll eat my hat comes from. When someone wants to say that, uh, something's unlikely, but it's been changed over the years. Yeah. Cause now it is more likely. Yeah. Cause they make waffles. Um, uh, I'm going to jump ahead now to the 1940s. Whoa. If that's all right with you. That's fine. So in the 19, but in the like before the Great Depression, just for a bit of context, by this stage, ice cream's like becoming very much
Starting point is 01:33:34 associated with like well-being, not health and well-being, but with like. Like wealth. Yeah, wealth, but also just like general happiness and mood. So in the prohibition era, alcohol gets banned and then a lot of those alcohol companies pivot towards making ice cream because they see that the customer base will like, they can't drink alcohol as escapism, but the next best thing is ice cream and they have like sugar and they have all the, they have access to the
Starting point is 01:34:09 ingredients. Yeah. And then they have access to like bottle making stuff as well. So they would, they basically started selling ice cream, bottles of ice cream, but it was like people would then consume ice cream as their. That's interesting. I've, I've had a few long stints off, of booze and I did find without thinking about it, next time I do it, I'll try and keep on top of it, but I did find that I was eating more
Starting point is 01:34:30 chocolate and treats and stuff instead without thinking about it. I was like, oh, that's weird. But that's probably why you're sort of craving a different kind of escapism or different kinds of treats. Yeah, some sort of just, yeah, just to treat yourself when the world's hard. That's actually the flavor of ice cream known as Rocky Road. Different kinds of treats. Yeah, some sort of just, yeah. Just to treat yourself. Just to treat. When the world's hard. That's actually the flavour of ice cream known as Rocky Road, which was two vendors that were serving ice cream and they just, back then it was still like standard kind of flavours,
Starting point is 01:34:56 like vanilla or bases, maybe chocolate. There wasn't so much like- Wow, vomit. Yeah. There wasn't so much toppings that you could put on it. But a couple of guys at a stall, they started chopping up nuts and marshmallows and putting it into it. And they noticed how much joy it was bringing people. And they were like, hey, this is, you know, life's a bit of a rocky road. Really? So the name comes from like, this is your escape, this is your relief.
Starting point is 01:35:23 Hmm. name comes from like, this is your escape, this is your relief. Man, some of these facts are sounding like maybe AI wrote them for the gelati man. Do you know how I wish I got AI to write this report? Because I had to go to a lot of different gelato websites. By the time we get to the 1940s, because ice cream in the States in particular is so tied to like happiness and good times and like a celebration of, you know, not just wealth, but like prosperity as a nation. You know, we can enjoy our ice cream. Who would you say in 1943 is the biggest producer of ice cream? Oh, this is like towards like the end of second World War.
Starting point is 01:36:07 Is it going to be 43? 43. So before the end of them. Oh yeah, coming towards the end. Yeah. So I'm guessing, is it going to be like Hitler or something? I know, that's what I'm worried about. Cause it's like, I don't know if Fanta was some sort of
Starting point is 01:36:21 a Nazi recipe or something like that. Cause they couldn't get Coke or something like that. Yeah. Or they didn't want an American or something. It's funny, any time you hear anything around the time of World War II, like, is it going to be Nazis? Is it going to be Nazis? Is it Nazi, Siren?
Starting point is 01:36:34 No. Thank God. You'll be pleased to know it's not Nazis. Who is it? It's the United States Armed Forces. Okay. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:44 Were they not busy doing other stuff? Well, this is the thing. So around the time- When I say the ballpark, I'm not suggesting that the American Armed Forces are- They were in cahoots. I'm just meaning, you know, a war thing. A wartime thing. So around the time of World War I, the military had a very sustenance-based approach to food
Starting point is 01:37:07 and they are providing rations to their soldiers based on calories. This is like, you've got a job to do, we're going to give you the best diet to help you do this job. Yeah. And there's no emphasis on taste or morale. It's all what is available and we'll give you that. There's like shortages as well going on in World War I, Depression era, where sugar is hard to get your hands on. It's hard to, the dairy industry is hit by the Great Depression.
Starting point is 01:37:36 And so they actually, some countries like Britain and even in the US, like ice cream becomes illegal because they reckon they've got to use sugar for more important purposes. Illegal feels a bit far, doesn't it? Yeah. Ice cream is illegal. And now we can just go down to the supermarket. There's a supermarket across the street. There's a whole aisle. I can go get eight tubs of it. And that's no one's policing that. No one's policing that.
Starting point is 01:37:59 You could go as a two year old and buy eight tubs. I can do whatever the fuck I want with those eight tubs too. I could throw them straight in the bin. I could throw them at cars. Throw them at cops. That's probably illegal. That's probably illegal. That might be illegal.
Starting point is 01:38:11 I've gone too far. But you've found where the line is. You're on a sugar high. I'm excited. I ate two of the tubs. Now I'm losing my mind a little bit. You're wearing one of the empty tubs on your head. It's not quite empty.
Starting point is 01:38:23 It's all over me. I thought this hat would be edible. Basically, what happens by World War Two is that the ice cream industry and the medical industry, they jump into bed together. They're in cahoots and they start pushing for hospitals to provide ice cream to wounded soldiers because they're like, hey, this is about morale. These guys are representing our nation on the front lines. Now they're hurt and we want to nurse them back to health, not only physically, but also
Starting point is 01:38:52 psychologically. So the medical industry are also like, hey, let's get ice cream in here. Interesting. That does feel like a bit of a hospital cliche, jelly and ice cream. Is that a thing? Definitely jelly, right? Jelly in a hospital cliche, jelly and ice cream. Is that a thing? Mm. Definitely jelly, right? Jelly and hospital for sure. But growing up, we definitely had jelly and ice cream.
Starting point is 01:39:10 Yeah. Mm. Grandma's house. Yeah. Frog in the pond. Aeroplane jelly. I hated Frog in the pond. I like aeroplane jelly. Because it made the frog weird.
Starting point is 01:39:19 Yeah, it made it. It was a weird combo. The bottom half of the frog was weird. Yes. I liked the idea of them. Yeah. I liked the look of them. Cute, fun look, but I hated eating the chocolate. I bottom half of the frog was weird. Yes. I like the idea of them. Yeah, cute, fun look, but I hate it eating the chocolate. I like the individual elements.
Starting point is 01:39:28 Agreed. But yeah, together. I'll have them separate. Yeah. Can I have my frog on the side, please? Can my frog be hanging out next to a pond? Yeah. Yeah. Also, now that you've referred to this as a pond, I am wondering why it's so red. It was. What's been going on at the bottom of this pond? There's a shark being... Your nana wasn's been going on at the bottom of this pond? There's a shark being-
Starting point is 01:39:45 Your Nana wasn't doing green jelly for your Frog in a Pond? Jesus. Or blue, but at least green. Yeah, red. Was your Nana a Satanist? Nana's going for fucking port wine flavour for Frog in a Pond. Nana had a good taste. One for me, one for Nana.
Starting point is 01:40:01 I like my- Wait, what? I like my- Oh man, that's me being Nana. One for me, she's sipping the port. And one for Nana. One for Nana, one for Nana. I like my- Wait, what? I like my- And that's me being Nana. One for me, she's sipping the port. And one for Nana. Another one. No, but I do like my wine red, my grapes green and my jelly port.
Starting point is 01:40:12 Okay, I'm writing that down. Okay. So I can bring your favourite jelly to the next dinner party. Salts frog. Salts frog. Salts frog. Do you know what the English, when they banned because of the sugar shortage, do you know what they replaced ice cream with?
Starting point is 01:40:29 Probably fucking a cup of tea or something. Mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes. Not far off, carrots on a stick. Carrots on a stick. Yeah, carrots are a stick. That's both the incentive and the punishment in the one. We're using a carrot and a stick.
Starting point is 01:40:46 What do you mean? We don't really know if this is a reward or a punishment. Yeah, like a toothpick stick? Well, they would, yeah, I guess so. Or like an ice cream stick. No, it's like they would put the carrot on a stick so you could pretend you're enjoying the experience. It's out in front of you, you're always going towards the carrot. Because carrots such a difficult thing to eat with your hands.
Starting point is 01:41:05 Yes. Yeah, if only it came in stick form. Well, we've got an idea for you. You can't finish the whole carrot if you've touched some of it. True. Well, yeah, they're finally whizing out. Someone's got to lick. They licked it all the way down to the stick. To a null. You got to return the stick. But when America entered World War Two, because ice cream is so big in the states
Starting point is 01:41:27 and so tied to happiness, they take ice cream with them. The Navy spends a million dollars to convert a barge. This is the 40s, a million dollars in the 40s. They convert a barge into an ice cream factory. What the fuck? And then they start towing it around the Pacific Ocean and delivering ice cream to the different battleships. Oh.
Starting point is 01:41:49 And it's like, this is, yeah, you know. That's the first Mr. Whippy. Which is our idea. Yeah, but they're probably playing the song in Morse code. Yeah. Yeah. Duh duh dash. I don't know why they sound like that.
Starting point is 01:42:01 It's just a guy on a mic. Duh duh dash. Duh duh dash. Duh duh dash. Duh duh dash. Duh duh dash. Duh duh dash. Duh duh dash. like that it's just a guy It's called the condo fritterer Why is it Guido Hatzis? Toto dash, toto, toto dash, toto. It's Conn, Conn the Freuderer. Conn the Freuderer, this is, this is my great, this is my, my Swiss Italian. Oh yes, heritage. Coming out.
Starting point is 01:42:36 That's how they talk. Is that comical to you, Saran? Cause that's actually very close to starting a race war. Toto dash, dash, toto, toto dash. You can't Dash, dash, dot, dot, dot, dash. You can't do it. Saran, you can't do it. You don't know who I'm doing. I'm doing my Nana.
Starting point is 01:42:52 And that's her doing Morse code for the Ponds Red. Oh, okay. Okay. The army constructed basically mini ice cream factories on the front lines as well. So the Navy, they all, all getting in on it. The Navy, the army, um, Army, the Navy's doing the battleships that are converted to ice cream factories. That's wild.
Starting point is 01:43:10 The Army are making their own little on front lines. They're getting cartons of ice cream and they're delivering them to soldiers who are in their foxholes. Cause it's like, you're sacrificing, you know, putting your life on the line for the country. We're gonna give you ice cream the Navy Even had one ship called the USS Lexington
Starting point is 01:43:33 That was like full of ice cream in the freezers They they had all this ice cream in the freezers and when it got struck by a Japanese torpedo It's like the torpedo hit the USS Lexington, it doesn't just explode like in the movies, it's sort of like slowly sinking and the procedure, the sailors all knew what the procedure was to abandon the ship, but before they did, they went into the freezers and they took all the ice cream and then they jumped. Into the. That's why they have to say on airplanes now, please leave your bags behind. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:11 Because people used to grab all their ice cream. Oh, yeah, yeah. And in the overhead compartment, it probably stays quite cool. Yeah. But it's funny that you said that because we moved to the next thing, which is that the Air Force, they didn't want to be left out. The Navy's doing it, the Army's doing it, the Air Force, they figured out that if you've ever made ice cream at home, you would know now that churning is how you get that kind
Starting point is 01:44:32 of soft texture. Otherwise it's just really icy and too hard. Yeah, like a cool, the Indian cool fee is like dense when you bite into it, they haven't churned it. You know, you know the phrase like, my stomach is churning. Mm hmm. And that's what the- that's what invented ice cream. The horse's stomach's churning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:51 Whoa! I thought it was the Clop Clop, but it didn't have anything to- it doesn't matter if they're two left feet, those horses. Yeah. Their stomachs are churning. Wow. Wow. But you have to make the horse anxious.
Starting point is 01:45:03 Yes. You tell them they've got a big gig coming up. You've got a really big gig. You can make or break your career horse. Yep. But it will give us great ice cream. So basically what the Air Force figured out was that they would take like punnets of cream and they would, they'd like basically take it up in the fighters or the bombers and they would fly at heights that were like so cold temperatures and with
Starting point is 01:45:37 the kind of movement of the plane, it would turn the ice cream in. What? Yeah. What an expensive way to make it. Yeah. But I mean, they had to fly anyway. Yes, right. It did mean the bombers didn't have bombs in it, it just had ice cream. But yeah, they would.
Starting point is 01:45:54 Yeah. There's like Hiroshima is quite controversial, but there's probably a town out there where they just dropped. Ice cream. Rocky Road. That's not on Gelato Man. Okay. I should say.
Starting point is 01:46:10 That's a saran fact. But yeah, so they would attach the tub to the rear gunner's compartment and it would stay cold at those high altitudes, but also the vibrations of the machine gun fire would help to churn. What? The ice cream. That's insane. What a funny thing, we're killing people. While making ice cream. We'reurn the ice cream. That's insane. What a funny thing. We're killing people.
Starting point is 01:46:27 While making ice cream. We're also making ice cream. Well, this is crazy because this is how much ice cream was tied to American kind of hubris and American pride. There are Bugs Bunny cartoons, which you can find if you Google it. It's quite incredible. But there's like Bugs Bunny, you know the American pop culture and propaganda stuff, they would use like different characters.
Starting point is 01:46:52 So there are Bugs Bunny cartoons from the era, from the like the 40s where he goes to the, he's like a soldier and he goes to Japan and he's like, he's driving an ice cream truck and delivering ice cream, playing the music and all these Japanese, they have, they call them offensive words, which we would now deem inappropriate to use. So I won't use it, but they, Japanese people- Can't say anything anymore. Hear the music and it's like, dot dot dash dash dot dot dot dash dash. And they come-
Starting point is 01:47:22 They use mics too. And he's like, ice cream, get your ice cream. And they take it and then it turns out that they're grenades. And they blow up. But it's like that ice cream is part of the whole war effort. It's so entrenched and entightened. Because it's yeah, I think. I imagine they were quite
Starting point is 01:47:42 sensitively drawn, those Japanese characters as well. I can imagine so, yes. I think because I think so little about ice cream day to day and it's so readily available that this seems insane to go to this effort so that soldiers can have ice cream. Yeah, because I guess I don't know what kind of comforts they try to give soldiers today, but probably if you're on the front line and someone brought a punnet of ice cream to you and you're in a foxhole. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:48:11 You'd be like, I could just go to the. Yeah, 7-Eleven. Yeah. I can get like one on a stick. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do with this whole tub of it? I don't know. I reckon, I reckon even now if someone goes, oh, I've got a special treat. Here's a little tub of ice cream.
Starting point is 01:48:24 I'm never craving it. Yeah. But I think it would be like, oh, that's nice. Yeah. As far as in a foxhole. I don't think you can always just duck down a 7-eleven when you're in a foxhole. No, I don't know. But yeah, it's just funny that the efforts they're going to for something that is now,
Starting point is 01:48:40 through a modern lens, so accessible. Yes. But similar to that story I told a few years ago about that guy who took beers. Yeah. To his mates fighting in Vietnam. Yep. And- That's a great story.
Starting point is 01:48:53 And that, like, it was for them, it was like, oh my god, American beer. Yeah. It was a real thrill. So I guess it would feel- You know, I go overseas and I'm like, I would kill for an Australian coffee. Right. You know? Tim Tam. Oh my God. Tim Tam slime. Because they don't do coffee overseas, do they? They don't. And I don't know why we haven't like shared it yet, you know? Yeah, we should export it out there.
Starting point is 01:49:14 That should be our number one export. Because we're so good at it. Italian Australians are so good as well. Why don't we give it back to Italy? Say, hey. That's smart. Here's something that you gave to us. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you for the ice cream. Here's the coffee. Yeah. You should try it. I think you'll like it.
Starting point is 01:49:28 Oh, wow. And yeah, we call it like cafe latte. Yeah. That you probably won't get. It's sort of it kind of means a coffee with milk. Yes. Yeah. To put it in a simple term. Something you would understand.
Starting point is 01:49:42 English. To translate your language back to you. Yes. It's a coffee with milk. So, I want to bring you to the end of the history of Ice Cream, which is that after a very successful tour of Dryer Dryer, a show that Matt and I performed at the comedy festivals around Australia, very close to the Brisbane Powerhouse where our last show was, is a great gelateria. And Matt and I, Stuart and me, Seren Jomana,
Starting point is 01:50:15 enjoyed a little celebratory ice cream after our show. Yeah. I was like- I had to sort of talk you into it, because it was sort of ten minutes walk past Eric. I'm like, ah, pretty ready to go to bed. Yeah. Saran was drinking beers, which he took from the bar we were at. He's drinking them on the street, like he's being a bad boy. Yeah. But it felt like a- you know, you have to let off steam and have a drink.
Starting point is 01:50:39 It felt dangerous. I'm like, I don't know if I want to be hanging out with this bad boy of comedy. Because sure, it starts with going to get ice cream and it ends at 4am in jail. Yeah, exactly. You know, that's going out with Saren. Yeah. No, but I'll tell you where it ended. It ended with just a beautiful moment between friends. It was very nice.
Starting point is 01:50:55 I had a cone and you had a cup. Okay. Yes. And you, yeah, you were, you were shocked by that. Yeah. I think a real celebration deserves a cone. Right. You're going to let loose.
Starting point is 01:51:08 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then the problem was then we were walking back to our house and stumbled across two people who'd been at the show. And they stopped and they said, that was great. I really enjoyed the show. That was very funny. That's nice. We just picked you on a whim.
Starting point is 01:51:23 Oh, that's lovely. We weren't even fans. And then as I was talking to them, I sort of tilted my ice cream and the That's very funny. That's nice. We just picked you on a whim. Oh, that's lovely. We weren't even fans. And then as I was talking to them, I sort of tilted my ice cream and the scoop fell onto the ground. With the biggest plop, I forgot about that. Oh my god. And I think I heard the sound.
Starting point is 01:51:35 Ba-da-ba-da-da. Yeah. And so that is where the history of ice cream ends. Yeah, ice cream's done. On the floor in Brisbane. What flavour? I went with Stracciatella. Okay, Matt?
Starting point is 01:51:48 I, because I wasn't going to have it. Yeah. All the way up to the front. And I said, I should, I should have something. And then I turned around, there was a line for me. I'm like, shit. So you panicked. I said, just give me two scoops that you'd recommend.
Starting point is 01:52:01 Oh, boy, that was a mistake, wasn't it? One of them was good. I like chocolate. And the other one was very sweet. It was salted caramel. Oh, I do like salted caramel. It was super popular, but it was just too sweet for me. Yeah. I would have probably preferred an even more chocolatey one.
Starting point is 01:52:18 That's too risky. I think you would have preferred a carrot on a stick. Yes. Delicious. Oh, Saran, what a great report. Is that the end of it? Yeah, is it? That's great. I didn't know any of it.
Starting point is 01:52:28 Like, what an interesting story. And again, just something I don't think about because ice cream's just always been there. And there's so many. I mean, yeah, I'm like, how are you going to talk about this for for long? And we didn't even get into like the origins of all sorts of different flavors. Like, where did mint choc chip come from? Some people are disgusted by the idea of dairy and mint being mixed together, so they can't get their head around it.
Starting point is 01:52:50 I fucking love it. But I love it, it's probably, it's one of my favourites. So I can tell you that. That's probably what I should- It was a culinary student in South Devon College in England. She entered a competition to make an ice cream dessert for Prince Anne's wedding. When was that? That's not that long ago.
Starting point is 01:53:08 Yeah, 1973. And so she entered with mint chop chick, chop chick, chick, chop, chop, chop. When her horses just wandered in. But she gave it a much easier to pronounce name, which was mint royal. Oh, that's fancy. I like mint chocolate. She got a silver cup for efforts. Yum. But it's like one of the it's probably one of the top flavours.
Starting point is 01:53:33 I fucking love it. It's my favourite. I love mint and chocolate together. Yeah, it's beautiful. As a kid, they were my two scoops would have been mint chocolate chip and blisenberry swirl. Oh, yum. Mine would have been mint chocolate chip and rainbow. Oh, yeah. If I took I probably took you to like when I was 12, but when I was eight. Oh, yeah. Rainbow big time. I remember the first time having boysenberry at an auntie's place. Very adult. Holy shit.
Starting point is 01:53:56 Ice cream can be so sophisticated. Afterwards, I smoked a cigar. I had boysenberry the other day when we went to see Planet of the Apes. Oh, yeah, that's a great Choctop option. It is good. And I don't know- Is it a berry? It's not a natural berry. It's multiple berries that have been- It's like a human made berry.
Starting point is 01:54:17 Okay. And it was, I think, an American invention on this theme park. And is it just a fun joke that it rhymes with poison? Is it? I, you know what? A lot of berries would be poisonous. Yes, it came up on, on, I think, I'm going off Wikipedia.org. The exact origin of the boysenberry are unclear, but the most definite records
Starting point is 01:54:40 trace the plant as it is known back to grower Rudolph Boyzen who obtained the Jubilee Loganberry patent from the farm of John Lubben. And then in the late 1920s, George M. Darrow of the USDA began tracking down reports of a large reddish-purple berry that had been grown on Boyzen's farm in Anaheim, California. And he enlisted the help of Walter Knott. And he- and that Knott guy went on, I think is where Knott's Something Farm is, which is like a- maybe like a fun park or something? Knott's Berry Farm. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:55:15 Yeah, anyway, that's pretty boring. I do also find the Hokey Pokey, apparently it's called Hokey Pokey in the US and Canada, but in the UK, Ireland and some parts of Australia, the Hokey Kokey. Oh, I've never heard of that either. But it originates back as a British folk dance, and it seems to go back at least to the 1800s. Wow. When it was recorded in Robert Chambers' Popular Rhymes of Scotland from 1842, with the words given as Fal-di-ral-la, Fal-di-ral-la, Hink-a-boobie roundabout, right hands in and left hands out. Hink-a-boobie roundabout.
Starting point is 01:55:58 Why is it all made up words until left hand in, right hand out? Maybe Hink-a-boobie, I mean, all words are made up, if you think about it. It's like listening to another language where they sometimes will have borrowed words from English. Yeah. A hink-a-boop-y, nink-a-lo-bo. But they might have- that could be a real word in Scots, maybe? True. All words are really just made up sounds.
Starting point is 01:56:20 Wow, that's a really good point. That is a really good point. That is a really good point, actually, yeah. Thanks. But yeah, there's a bunch of different ones. Can you dance lubey lubey? Can you dance lubey lubey? Can you dance lubey lubey?
Starting point is 01:56:31 All on a Friday night? You put your right hand in and then you check it out. Wow. That bit seems pretty consistent. That was from 1892. Anyway. You want me to do all of that on a Friday night? That's too much.
Starting point is 01:56:42 All those lubey lubies? At the end of a work week? I want to crash. But yeah, that was a pleasure to take you through the history of ice cream. It was delightful. It was delightful. Just quickly, Saran, what is your favourite ice cream? It is the Stracciatella, which I was having that night in Brisbane. What is that? I've never heard of that.
Starting point is 01:57:00 I can tell you very quickly the history of that as well, because it is quite interesting. I've never heard of that. I can tell you very quickly the history of that as well, because it is quite interesting. Stracciatella is a soup from Rome, which is like a meaty broth with egg that's stirred into it so that when you stir the egg in, it sort of sets in the stirring motion. This is your favourite ice cream. So, it's like kind of stringy. No, but I didn't know that. Well, I was always curious why it has that name.
Starting point is 01:57:22 I thought that maybe Stracciatella was like a cheese, because it's kind of- it's quite a milky flavour of ice cream. But the defining characteristic of the Stracciatella is the, like, little chocolate, dark chocolate kind of shreds that are in it. Oh, that sounds awesome. Yeah. So that's how it got its name, because this- when he was- a guy was making Fiora di Latte, his name's Enrico Panatoni. Isn't that a-
Starting point is 01:57:47 Which is another- Yeah. It's too many different references to- It's a cake. Yeah. So like that bready kind of cake you get at Christmas. But he, um, just on a whim, as an experiment, he squirted in some dark chocolate pieces while he was like whipping the Fiora di Latte.
Starting point is 01:58:04 And then in the churn, those pieces got shredded. Oh, that sounds so good. in some dark chocolate pieces while he was like whipping the Fiora di Latte, and then in the churn those pieces got shredded. Oh, that sounds so good. Because it was sort of similar to the motion of like, um, whipping in egg to the meaty broth. He's called it a stretcher, tell me. Interesting. Is the vanilla the base ice cream?
Starting point is 01:58:21 Fiora di Latte is like, it's milky. Yeah. It's sort of like sweetened milk. That sounds really nice. I love the, I like the flakes of chocolate through. Yeah. Like a, a Vianetta cake. Or there was briefly this ice cream, you know, on a stick, you know, or ice cream section.
Starting point is 01:58:39 That was a carrot. And it was called the wave or something and it was in this wave shape, but it was like that. It was vanilla and just these thin flakes of chocolate throughout. It was just the best texture. You can get- have you seen like the the Viennetters on a stick? No. You can have basically a single serve Viennetter on a stick. Yeah, I certainly fed out of it recently.
Starting point is 01:59:01 It is really good. Oh my God, I want Viennetter now. Isn't it so great? Well, I think we answered the question, will you feel like Oscar at the end of the episode? I really do. And waffles. Can I remind you about the whale vomit? I'd rather you didn't.
Starting point is 01:59:16 Thank you. Hey, Saran, thanks so much. We're, Jess and I, and maybe Dave if we can find him, we'll do- Because he's fine. He is fine. So we will find him. And, you can't spell find without fine. You're going too far now, yeah.
Starting point is 01:59:29 It's sounding sus. Oh, OK. Just be cool, chill about it. Yeah, OK. Yeah. So thanks so much for joining us, Saran. My pleasure. Any- anything people- you can point people towards before you head off into the sunset? Yeah, if you're in Melbourne on the 3rd of August,
Starting point is 01:59:47 I'll be appearing at the Live Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. That's true. Has Matt invited you or have you just announced that as a way to get yourself on the clock? I'm weaseling my way in. Yeah, love that for you. No, I've been invited. And also, yeah, if you haven't watched it already and you're in an international jurisdiction.
Starting point is 02:00:08 Which I think we all are. The ABC International. I don't know the full details of it, but it might be available to track down Good Tucker. Yes, it's been picked up by ABC International recently. I don't know where that broadcasts, but maybe you can find it online, therefore, or with a VPN, you could get it on the SBS On Demand. And it's a fun show. Matt's in it. It's a documentary. Matt's playing himself.
Starting point is 02:00:35 Playing it. I'm playing it. The character's name's Matt, but it's not me. No. Yeah. It's a blowhard, know nothing, know it all. Yeah. That's not me. That's not our Matt Stewart. That's not my Matt Stewart. That's not my Matt Stewart. No.
Starting point is 02:00:46 But yeah, that's great. And then otherwise, I'm on Seren Comedy on Instagram. So good. Thanks so much for coming in and telling us that story. No worries. I'm really keen on hearing, can I make a request? The history of Spice. Yeah, because there was a whole like Spice Wars and stuff.
Starting point is 02:01:03 I'm pretty sure New York City was exchanged, or sorry, Manhattan Island was exchanged for some Spice Island. Yeah. That's insane. It's wild. Yeah. But yeah, I think there's heaps to it and it's really interesting. But I only know little fragments.
Starting point is 02:01:20 I'd love to hear the whole story. All right. So get writing. So get writing. You got it? Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll do it next time David. Is fine. Goes missing.
Starting point is 02:01:28 OK. Next time Dave is fine. Yes. OK? Oh my god. With the back of Saren, we also get the front of Dave. Dave, welcome back. We said all along was fine.
Starting point is 02:01:41 We said all along. We didn't even have to wait to the end of the episode to find out. I was sleeping under the table. Did you enjoy your little kip? It was lovely under there. Did you actually hear any of the episode at all? Yeah, something, something ice cream, something, something whale vomit, something, something. Yeah, perfect. Yeah, perfect to date.
Starting point is 02:01:57 So you remember the two things I told you a few minutes ago? Yeah. That's right. When I said, oh, it was an interesting story, you said, it was an interesting story. Because I think what was it, Pitchdedy, was the interesting history of ice cream. Yeah, oh yeah. It was interesting. It was interesting. I can't wait to listen back because I love ice cream.
Starting point is 02:02:14 Oh yeah. And I'm going to listen whilst eating ice cream. And I asked the question at the start, I was like, by the end of this, am I going to be craving ice cream or am I going to be totally off it? And by the end, I was craving ice cream or am I going to be totally off it? And by the end I was I was craving ice cream. Let me tell you. We should say that there's what has there been about three or four weeks have gone past between what you just heard and this.
Starting point is 02:02:34 Yes. I have not stopped eating ice cream the whole time. Dave rang the bell in the in the thing we buried him in. We had to go and dig him out. It's been a whole pullover. He's a real diva. He's a real diva, isn't he? He's a real diva. It was hot in there. We got him back now. And yes, so ice cream. Oh yeah, it was good though. Ice cream. Oh yeah. It was a good episode. I love the work of Saren. And you mentioned ice cream cake. I love ice cream
Starting point is 02:03:02 cake. No. I mean, this is the thing. There's so much room for further ice cream episodes. Yeah, yeah. But I'm just remembering now that I did request that next time Seren comes in, he does the spice trade. Mmm. And that whole, you know, that was such a wild story that I don't know bits and pieces of, including that I think Manhattan was traded for access to spice. I think that's why America got it off the Dutch. Wow. Isn't that crazy?
Starting point is 02:03:27 But it's a lot of wild stuff like that. We need some nutmeg. Can we? Can we have Manhattan? Is that good? Is that right? And they're like, ugh, okay. Fine.
Starting point is 02:03:38 Just nutmeg. Such a shit spice. What a shit deal, too. Like, now they're in the- now Manhattan's full of supermarket oils, full of spices. Yeah, you can get any. Oh my gosh. I reckon you could get any spice in New York. Easy.
Starting point is 02:03:54 Easy. What a different time it must have been. I challenge you. Go to New York City. Yes. Find one of every spice. OK. Now that that's been challenged on a podcast, is my entire six week US trip tax deductible?
Starting point is 02:04:05 I leave you come back with one of every spice. OK, fantastic. Which customs will love? I'll say no, no, no, it's for a bit. That's true. I'm committing to a bit. Fair enough. We love commitment here. All right, so we're into the everyone's favourite section of the show.
Starting point is 02:04:20 Dave, where were you, by the way? Just quickly. I was in Bali. Wow. Genuinely in Bali. Must be nice. Must be nice. Buried underground though. Yes.
Starting point is 02:04:29 Ring in the bell. Ring in the bell. Let me out. But the bell just meant they kept bringing you drinks. Yeah. It was actually lovely. Another Mojito. And when he says underground, he means like in a pool.
Starting point is 02:04:38 Yes. Like it's been dug in. Dugged in. Yeah. Yeah. It was filled with water. In-ground pools? Bloody hell. Yeah. You were living it up. Not that above-ground shit. Whoa. What were you there for?
Starting point is 02:04:47 I don't even know, a wedding? Just a holiday. Just a holiday. It's been a wedding. The time I went there was for my cousin's wedding. That's why I was. That's lovely. No, it was just a little family getaway. It was very, very nice. So good. Four years in the making.
Starting point is 02:05:01 Yeah. It was something that we'd booked it, paid upfront for a discount at this hotel in February 2020. And you didn't realise you'd booked it on the 29th of February and you had to wait. Had to wait for the leave. Had to wait for those bloody borders to reopen. And then the hotel closed down and then they reopened and I emailed, say, any chance of a credit? And they said, you can have the whole thing, come on over.
Starting point is 02:05:22 Oh, amazing. It was like, it felt like a free holiday. Yeah. Was it- so that was booked in well before you were married. Yeah. Was your wife always involved? Yeah, yeah. Both of us were going to go and then we ended up going married and we went with the baby. Of course, I said, by the way, we're going to bring our baby too. So we've got a free baby as well.
Starting point is 02:05:39 You didn't have to pay for that baby. Free baby. Yeah, exactly. This has worked out really well. Holy shit. Free cot and it. Yeah, exactly. This has worked out really well. Holy shit. Free cot and everything. Oh my god. If you'd put all that money in like some sort of an investment four years ago, there's no way that you would have earned a baby in that time.
Starting point is 02:05:53 No way. Exactly. There's no way. They take ten years. Minimum. Minimum. Yes, in a very high interest, high fees. Exactly.
Starting point is 02:06:02 Account. Wow. You've done very well. Thank you so much. You've played the system very well, my friend. I have foresight. So. Account. Wow. You've done very well. You've played the system very well, my friend. I have foresight. So welcome home, Dave. Thank you. Great to be back.
Starting point is 02:06:10 And what a beautiful tan you've come back with. Thank you. You're glowing. You're glowing. It's sort of summery weather there. Yeah. It's always tropical-y. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:06:19 Sort of a bit humid, but warm. People don't know where Bali is. It's an island in Indonesia. Indonesia. That's right. But a five to six hour is. It's an island in Indonesia. Indonesia, that's right. But a five to six hour flight away from us in Melbourne. Yeah, it's pretty, it's nice and close. That's why it's so popular.
Starting point is 02:06:31 Yeah, it's almost like the, it's like a stereotypical Australian getaway. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Because it's fairly cheap, fairly close. And especially during our winters, it's much nicer weather. Oh, yeah. It's a place that Australia has ruined with our tourism. That's right. I went there for the culture.
Starting point is 02:06:48 OK. Although I just heard the other day that Japan has now taken over for the number one spot that Aussies go to. So we're ruining Japan now, too. So that's pretty cool, isn't it? We're a cancer. We are the worst. But that did instantly make me think, I'd love to go to Japan.
Starting point is 02:07:06 Oh, if everyone's going. So this part of the show, Dave, if you don't remember from your one week away, is where we like to thank some of our great supporters. These people are supporting us at patreon.com slash gwonpod. If listeners want to get involved, they can go there and do that now. There's a bunch of different levels. Jess, you want to remind Dave of what some of those levels are? Absolutely. And I remember them. So you can you can get all sorts of rewards, like three bonus episodes a month, soon to be four. Yes. Can we say that?
Starting point is 02:07:36 Get discounts on live tickets. Yes. Like, for instance, our Sydney show coming up. Yep. They were the first to hear about that and they got discounted tickets. I think they still, if you signed up, you'd still maybe be able to get a discount. Same with the Melbourne Who Knew It show and the Melbourne Do Go On the Quiz, which maybe is this week?
Starting point is 02:07:56 Yes. Yeah. Will come out really soon. Yep. Yeah, this weekend. Oh my goodness. You get to vote on topics. You get early access to everything.
Starting point is 02:08:04 We tell the Patreons first. And a fairly new feature, ad free listening. Yes. All the new episodes we put out. If you don't want to have ads in the middle at the start or at the end, sign up on Patreon. And this month, probably coming up later this month, we're going to start doing our fourth bonus episode. That's right. We've already recorded it and it's in the editing process.
Starting point is 02:08:24 Can't wait to release those. Really exciting. So one of the other things, if you're in the Sydney Schomburg level or above, you get to be involved in this section of the show called Fact Quote or Question, which has a little jingle go something like this. Fact Quote or Question. She always remembers the Jing, he always remembers the Ding and beautifully harmonized there. Thank you. So if you want to be on the Sydney to Schreiberg level, do it.
Starting point is 02:08:55 Then once you are. I dare you. Oh my God, do it. Get to give us a factor quote or a question or a braggart or a suggestion or really whatever you like. You also get to give yourself a title. The first one this week, I read out four each week. I don't read them out until I read them out.
Starting point is 02:09:06 The first one comes from Sam Cutler. Okay, Sam Spamelot IV. And Sam Spamelot IV has a rap. I don't think we've had a rap before, have we? Hell yeah. Does that mean I have to rap it or I can just read it, right? I think you have to rap it. See if Sam explains it.
Starting point is 02:09:24 Yeah, okay, great. Sam writes, oh, hey, my three favourites. Eee. I've been wanting to do this for a while, and now with Dave's report of the East Coast, West Coast hip hop rivalry, I have an excuse. Rap go on. Yes.
Starting point is 02:09:43 Please read your respective bits. Oh. Eee he so much excite. Oh my God. Okay. So that sounds ridiculous being read by a 100 year old man. So 400 year old man. So Sam has written a feature. Can I send you the link over here? Here you go. So you go. There you go. Got that. Don't worry. I'm linking you to it now with Wi-Fi. You're in the mainframe there. Oh my God. Which one do I click on this again? It's a fact photo question. Response to...
Starting point is 02:10:14 Oh, perfect. Number one there. Right. Fantastic. All right. So here's mine first. And it says, please read your respective bits. So much excitement. It says read, don't rap. Yo, my name is Matt and my words are flowing. Please read your respective bits. So much excitement. It says read, don't rap. Yo, my name is Matt and my words are flowing. I speak so original. You can't predict where I'm going.
Starting point is 02:10:31 Oh, wow. My voice gives your brain a fresh coat of paint. I got two great friends and I like the saints. Hello, everybody. My name is Jess. I got a few things to get off my chest. Chest. You better keep them digits around the right number or I'll knock you out and into a slumber.
Starting point is 02:10:52 Snore. You'll be the one wishing you were never born because my laugh is gonna cause a flippin' storm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You are a great hype man. Now hold the mic for Davis here. I keep them on track even when I disappear. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Starting point is 02:11:07 I'm a lesandry cobra. And while I was away, I duplicated and cloned you. Oh, that's good stuff. Yeah, especially like Les, Les Gendary. He said it wrong. All right. So did I say Les Gendary? But it's also it's good that you were like, I'm fine, even when I've disappeared. And that was this episode again.
Starting point is 02:11:25 Yeah, that's great. Amazing stuff. Well done, Sam. That's great stuff, Sam. And I think we we did it justice. I think I think we got better and better no offence. Like, I think you were like fine. And then I was like pretty good. And then Dave was very good.
Starting point is 02:11:38 I was like full Capadonna. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were you were Capadonna. I was the best Wu-Tang member. He's your favourite. I love Capadonna. That's canonical yeah. You were- you were Capodonical. I was the best Wu-Tang member. He's your favourite. I love Capodonical. That's canonical, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 02:11:48 Capodonical. Big- No, that's great. Oh. Thank you so much, Sam. Next one comes from Patrick J. Early, aka Potato Couch Division. An important division. And we thank you for your work.
Starting point is 02:12:01 Patrick's offering us a joke. What a mixed bag we got today. A lot of fun. Hey team, here's a joke I came up with recently. Oh, original joke. Here we go. This is exciting. If it's really good, we edit this out
Starting point is 02:12:14 and I take it to the stage as my own. Correct. Open your show. So I guess Patrick, what we're saying is, if this is left in, it was a shit joke. Proceed. I want you to commit to opening your 2025 Comedy Festival show with this joke. Alright, whatever it is.
Starting point is 02:12:28 This is your own joke. Oh God. Please welcome to the stage, Matt Stewart. What's the difference- and I'll start with Al. That's my class of being. Squinting at a screen. Hey everybody, thanks so much for coming out. What a pleasure to be here.
Starting point is 02:12:41 Hey, just had a thought. What's the difference between overthrowing the government for a couple of days and a small vehicle? One's a two day coup d'etat and the other's a two day coupé car. Yes! That's the difference between the two. That's incredible. That's the difference. That is good.
Starting point is 02:13:02 What's that, your first 10 minutes covered? Because there's so much applause. Well then, well, what I do is then I go back and sort of unpack it. Yeah. Because there's a lot to unpack there. That's funny. Uh, been some absolutely cracking episodes lately. Thanks for all the great work.
Starting point is 02:13:15 Have a lovely day. We have been on a hot streak, you're right. You have yourself a lovely day, Patrick J. Early. Um, yeah, and I think it's so fun to have gone crime, crime, crime, ice cream. Yeah, it's nice. Break it up. Thank you so much, Patrick. That's a fantastic joke.
Starting point is 02:13:31 We'll leave it in, but I want to see you on stage performing that sometime soon. Next one comes from Michaela McCray. Okay, the C word. Michaela, what a legend. Just having a drink with me and Serena. Michaela had a drink up in Sydney earlier in the year when we did the Patreon meet up.
Starting point is 02:13:49 It's a great time. I think Michaela might have been because at one point did we have a thing where you could order any colour merch and put it on? I think might be the only one who had a bright orange hoodie. Oh, yeah. That was from spring. That's great. I've never seen one in the wild in that colour. I'd love to see that. Hopefully in Sydney. I believe, yeah, I believe.
Starting point is 02:14:09 Okay, that's coming. And Michaela, aka the C word, has a fact. So I've got a rapper joke and now a fact. My God. The founder of the Bird's Eye brand of frozen foods was named Clarence Bird's Eye. I found out after my family got that wrong in a round of pub trivia. I'd been listening to my fact quota question mentioning the name Clarence that day, and I can't believe the coincidence.
Starting point is 02:14:30 Wow. Clarence, of course, is what my uncle uses. To mean ****. Probably bleeped that out, AJ. But people know what the bleep means. It means cunt. He's done it again. Clarence Burgsoy. That'll really test if AJ listens to the Patreon section. Yes. Let us know if that isn't bleep.
Starting point is 02:14:51 And we'll f*** our editor out of a cannon. Just to wake him up a bit. I think he'd like it. I think he'd like it. I think he'd go, weeeee. Clarence, Clarence Hunt. That was where it came from. He was like a violinist or something, I forget.
Starting point is 02:15:05 But yeah, so that's just funny coincidence. Oh, and thanks to Matt and Saren for chatting after dry dry in Sydney. I had so much fun. Hey, we had so much fun. I'm speaking for both of us. Oh, appropriately on Saren's episode today as well. That's beautiful. A lot of things just really lining up. Beautiful, the synergy. Mm hmm. Thanks so much, Michaela.
Starting point is 02:15:23 And the last one comes from Piper Galagher. I think I sometimes say Galagher, but there's no G there. Piper Galagher. OK, fourth reserved big red button pusher. No one knows what it does, but someone's got to do it. Important job. Important job. And just to keep the variety up, we've had a rap joke. In fact, now we've got a suggestion. And the to keep the variety up, we've had a rap joke. Fact now, we've got a suggestion. And the suggestion goes like this.
Starting point is 02:15:49 This one is a song recommendation. I'm not very creative or interesting, but I love to participate. Oh my God, I feel so, um, uh, Seen. Seen. And heard. And described. And described. Not very interesting. Very, I'm being dull even as I talk about it.
Starting point is 02:16:10 I think you're very interesting, Matt. Oh my god, stop it. A little too interesting. I think you're a bit dull, but Matt, very interesting. Come on. Piper writes, I have strong feelings about it, so strap in buckaroos. Okay, great. Fast Romantics are a little indie band from Canada that I've loved since I heard them in 2016.
Starting point is 02:16:28 Their 2017 sophomore album, American Love, is a beautiful John Husey and soundtrack that satirizes American jingoism while delivering a fun 80s rock sound and keeping a hopeful and nostalgic tone. That sounds cool. If I were to recommend one track, and I am, it'd be the second track, Why We Fight, a gorgeous anthem about being broken, feeling helpless, but choosing to make the best of the good and the bad that surround you to love and be happy in the life you have. A small lyrical excerpt if you please, Matt.
Starting point is 02:17:00 I do please. Here we go. Oh, come on, darling. I'll have a stab at the melody. Fast Romantics? Fast Romantics. I do please. Here we go. Oh, come on, darling. I'll have a stab at the melody. Fast Romantics? Fast Romantics. I've got the song ready to go whenever you're finished with the lyrics.
Starting point is 02:17:12 Okay. Oh, come on, darling. There's a war on our TV, but it's all right. In our bedrooms we are free. Deep in the guts of me. I love you violently until dawn's early light. Yeah. So I think it will probably go something like that. That was really nice. He's what it actually sounds like. Same. Wow.
Starting point is 02:17:39 It's uncanny. It does sound like the boss. Probably can't play much anyway, so that'll do. Just remembered this is an actual episode, so probably can't play much of the audio. We will get flagged on YouTube. We will get flagged on YouTube. I forgot that too. But I do like the sound of that already, just from those few bars.
Starting point is 02:18:06 That sounded really cool. Yeah, Piper finishes by saying, I'd love to see this band get more support that they greatly deserve. I think they're massively underappreciated. Keep up the great pods and remember, oh shit, I forgot, must not have been important. That's good stuff from Piper.
Starting point is 02:18:25 Thank you so much Piper, Michaela, Patrick and Sam. The next thing we like to do, I'm going to listen to that album later. Unless I forget, which I almost definitely will. Um, the next thing we like to do is thank you for other great Patreon supporters. Jess, you normally come up with a game based on the topic? Well, I mean, we talk about ice cream. It only feels right to make it types of ice cream. Oh yeah. Flavours. Flavours.
Starting point is 02:18:51 Do you want to go like real flavours or do you want to just order whatever it is? Hmm, it could be either. Dave, this is something that Seren and I learnt when we're on tour. We're separated by a great divide and that divide is a cup or cone. Are you a cup or a cone? Absolutely. Cone. Yeah, I thought you might be a cone. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 02:19:11 Looking at- Oh yeah, what do you reckon I am? I reckon Jess is a cup and Matt is a cone. Ah, no, exact opposite of that. Really? Jess is a cone, I'm a cup. You're a cup? I'm a cup of Donner.
Starting point is 02:19:23 Okay, so that's what you think of cups and you thought it was me that was the cup. You're a cup? I'm a cup. You're a cup? I'm a cup of Donner. Okay, so that's what you think of cups and you thought it was me that was the cup. You're a cup. Hello, over here. I would like to know why I was a cup. Undercover cup. No, I'm just surprised. I'm a little bit surprised. That I'm not a cup or he's a cup. That he's a cup. Yeah, I agree.
Starting point is 02:19:37 I'm not a huge sweet too, so as a kid I loved waffle cones. I loved the cones. Yeah. But now I just want to focus on the ice cream. On the main event. I normally go for like a chocolate or now I just want to focus on the ice cream and I'm the main event. I normally go for like a chocolate or a, you know. Yeah. He's a basic bitch. And that's okay. But then I also don't mind the, like a cornetto occasionally, but I would say I have an ice cream maybe once every couple of years or something.
Starting point is 02:19:57 Yeah. I don't, I don't, I don't like buy an ice cream out all that often. I used to be a cup person because then you'd eat it with a little spoon. It was a bit neater, but I have gone back to cones more. I think I, to be honest, I did dabble with a cup for a while, but now I'm back on cones. Because I like to eat the cones. I like to punch them. It's funny to say, yeah, I like cones. That's true.
Starting point is 02:20:14 I punch them all the time. Punch some cones. Well, more Saren, obviously. Saren's a cone man. Cone man. So I'm really outnumbered. No, no, no. There's no wrong way to eat ice cream.
Starting point is 02:20:22 Exactly. I'm just happy to hear that you're eating ice cream because honestly, what a privilege. Yeah. What a beautiful way to live. One of my great ice cream eating experiences was when we were watching Stevenson, who invited us when we were in England the first time to go see Hamilton. Yes. Hamilton. And we got little ice creams.
Starting point is 02:20:40 And we got little Haagen-Dazs ice creams. That's right. Oh yeah. That was a lovely night. That was cool. It was like our last night on the tour Oh yeah. That was a lovely night. That was cool. It was like our last night on the tour. So what a great way to finish it up. Yeah it was. Wasn't it?
Starting point is 02:20:49 We went out for dinner and then we went to Hamilton and that was like end of tour. Yeah. Have you kept up with Stevenson? Yeah. He took us out to dinner or didn't you? Met us out for dinner. Met us out. Met us out.
Starting point is 02:20:58 I follow him on Instagram. I'm really in my mind, I'm bringing it. He picked us up in a limo, took us out to dinner. No, he met us briefly. He met us briefly. Lovely of him to have us out. And I haven't spoken to him in quite a few years, but I do follow him on Instagram as well. Very successful, often acting in different productions.
Starting point is 02:21:19 Killing it. Yeah. Touring around the UK and etc. And didn't he like DM'd you or something when we're on tour? He's like, hey, listen to your podcast, Dave. I'm in Hamilton if you want to come and watch it. I was a bit cheekier than that, to be honest. He had tweeted or DM'd me about looking forward to seeing our show or something.
Starting point is 02:21:38 And then I saw in his profile that he was part of Hamilton's cast. I was like, oh, we hope to see you at your show. We'll be entering the ballot. Because at the time it was like the, and still I imagine it's very difficult to get tickets. There's a ballot every day where like 6,000 people enter for four tickets or something. And he said, I'll DM you. And then I was like, it's happening. Dave, she's cheeky. Stevenson, are you still listening? We think you're a legend. Can you get me tickets?
Starting point is 02:22:01 Yeah, we're coming back. Um, okay, so I'll read out the names. Dave, you go a couple cone or what vestibule it's in and Jessica comes up with the... Fuck yeah. ...with kind of ice cream. Okay, but is there more options than a couple cone? Well, no, I think like goblets. Yeah, you can pick it up. Don't spoil that.
Starting point is 02:22:19 You can have fun with it. Okay. Well, he was trying to help you. You asked a question, he was helping you. Okay. Great. Okay, I'm gonna... I'm not you ask the question. He was helping you. Okay. Great. Okay. I'm not like skull. That would be the good one.
Starting point is 02:22:28 Edit that out AJ. All right. Let me kick it off. First up from, thanks so much for your support from Gordon in Victoria. What a great name for a town. That's great. Here in Australia. It's Matt.
Starting point is 02:22:40 Matt J. Matt J eating with a, eating his ice cream out of a novelty size ice cream scoop. Whoa. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. So he's holding the scoop. You're holding it, but it's huge. Like it's big enough for like three. So you sort of have to hold it sideways. Yeah. And you got a normal size scoop to scoop into the scoop or can you scoop
Starting point is 02:22:58 with the big scoop and then just eat straight out of the scoop? I think it depends on the venue. You take it to the ice cream shop and if they're, sometimes they'll let you scoop. Like they'll use your scoop. Oh, it's a BYO vessel. Yeah. Or other times they'll say, sorry, I have to scoop my scoop into your scoop. OK, he's gone unhinged early. Yeah. And I love it.
Starting point is 02:23:12 Yeah. And Matt's order is chocolate chip cookie dough. Oh, yeah. Lovely. Out of a big scoop. I'm picturing like a Grey Nichols Scoop 2000 cricket bat. Is that what you mean by big scoop? Yeah, definitely. Definitely Scoop 2000. The old Willow. Willow Scoop 2000 Cricket Bat. Is that what you mean by a big scoop? Yeah, definitely. Definitely Scoop 2000, the old Willow. Willow Scoop. It's just, to me, it's just one of the great names for a cricket bat.
Starting point is 02:23:32 The Scoop 2000. Because there's a scoop taken out of the back of it. Oh, really? Yeah. And there is a defensive block with the Scoop 2000. A defensive block of cookies and cream ice cream. Thank you so much to Matt. A defensive block of cookies and cream ice cream. Thank you so much to Matt. I'd also like to thank from Portland, Oregon, in the United States of America,
Starting point is 02:23:50 Laura Arne. Laura Arne. I go flavour first and then the vessel. How would you again? I think this is maybe needs a bit of an Irish. Let me look at an Irish eyes. I'm coming. Yeah, I don't know. A-E-R-N-E looks Irish, doesn't it? It does look it, yeah.
Starting point is 02:24:09 Laura Arne. Has ordered pistachio. Pistachio, and she is using an urn. Oh, that's full on. It's big. Wait, an urn is in like a- Is it like grandma or something? And she's having one last ice cream with grandma?
Starting point is 02:24:24 I was thinking more of like a thing that you would have boiling water at that time. Oh, that kind of thing. Yep, okay. And that's why it's important to clarify. Kids, Richard, didn't he snort his dad or something? Could be like that. Yeah, yeah. Eat your mum. With pistachio.
Starting point is 02:24:41 Thanks so much, Laura. I'd also love to thank, from Olympia in Washington in the United States. Am. I am. Am. Am. Am. And the flavour is? Neapolitan. Neapolitan. Bit of everything. Bit of everything. And it's being served in a fish bowl. Ooh.
Starting point is 02:24:56 I full 180'd on Neapolitan as a kid. I went strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, but now chocolate, vanilla, strawberry. Oh, really? That's a full 180, right? Yeah, full 180. Oh my gosh. I would probably say I used to think strawberry was number one, but now it's slipped to number two and chocolate's number one, but vanilla is still third for me. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:25:16 But also the flavour of strawberries, never the best in those. No, that's the problem with it, I think. I think I'd like a real strawberry maybe. That's lovely. But also I really love a real strawberry baby. Yeah, that's lovely. But also, I really love a good vanilla now. Yeah. How makes you think, doesn't it? You've learned a lot about yourself.
Starting point is 02:25:32 The next, the Neapolitan quiz. You could learn a lot about yourselves. Next one comes from address unknown, can only assume from deep within the fortress of the moles, please. And thank you to Michael Giles. Michael Giles has ordered one of my childhood favourites, Rainbow. Oh, I love a rainbow. Be disappointed or otherwise when you found out what its real flavour was.
Starting point is 02:25:55 Well, see, the rainbow panel pops are, spoiler alert, caramel, which I feel OK with because I do like caramel. But I feel like the rainbow from the from a shop tasted different. OK, so too. Maybe it was still caramely, but it did taste a bit different. Interesting. Yeah, because I was I was fully fooled by the paddle pop rainbow. I loved it. And I'm like, oh, it's sort of I don't know, because caramel is such a shit color.
Starting point is 02:26:22 It's you know, brown. Yeah, it's a shit colour. But rainbow is magical. Yeah, I agree. You can eat enough rainbow. I think rainbow matches the caramel flavour better. If you know what I mean. Yes, agreed.
Starting point is 02:26:36 And this rainbow is being served in a bowler hat. Oh, that's a bit of fun. Oh, hello. Oh, I shouldn't have put that back on. Oh, I've got a sticky head there. You know, fun stuff like that. That is fun. Oh, my head's all sticky.
Starting point is 02:26:50 Oh, he's dripping down my gusset. Was that because his name is Giles? I feel Giles does feel like a butler. Michael Giles. Michael Giles. Hello, hello. From Paisley in Great Britain. Oh, Paisley.
Starting point is 02:27:04 Please, and thank you. John of Scotland. To Donald Moran. Moran. Donald Moran. Donald. Donald, Donald. Butterscotch.
Starting point is 02:27:13 Butterscotch. Okay. Being served in on a teaspoon. Oh. It's so strong, you only need a little bit. Wow. That's interesting. Just a sliver only need a little bit. Wow. That's interesting. Just a sliver.
Starting point is 02:27:27 Wow. Because if you think about it, if you could be satisfied with just the free sample that they give you. That'd be good. It's free for life. Thank you. Have a good day. And Donald is living that dream. But only because the butterscotch is so strong.
Starting point is 02:27:42 So rich. Yes. A rich tapestry. Thank you so much, also, I'd love to thank from Toowoomba in Queensland, Australia, Alex Holly. Alex Holly has ordered a scoop of black raspberry chip. Whoa, that sounds awesome. I'm afraid the shop is out of cones. Oh. It's out of cups.
Starting point is 02:28:02 Oh. All they've got is a basketball that one of the owner's kids had and they stabbed the ball. Wow, just made it, yeah, okay. Cut it in half. And now they're handing it out. Have they given it a rinse? Oh, it's the inside.
Starting point is 02:28:13 Yeah. Oh, you don't have to rinse the inside. Just enjoy the rubbery taste. That's fine. No one's ever touched the inside. He's psychotic today. I'm so sorry, Alex. Are you trying to think of fucking round things to put food in?
Starting point is 02:28:21 It doesn't have to be round. I bet it could be so many things. Literally a cup. He's psychotic today. I'm so sorry, Alex. Are you trying to think of fucking round things to put food in? It doesn't have to be round. I bet it could be so many things. Literally a cone. You haven't used cone or cup yet. I'm saving for the grand finale.
Starting point is 02:28:40 From Sunbury in Victoria, I spent a lot of great holidays in Sunbury, which is funny to think back to now because it is- It's a suburb now. It's basically, is it literally a suburb now? Yeah. I think it's a suburb now, yeah. But back then it was really- well, I've got friends who live there. I love going out to Sunbury.
Starting point is 02:28:56 From Sunbury in Victoria, please, and thank you, Jessica Cardy. And Jessica Cardy has a party in their mouth because they have ordered, uh, they have ordered, oh, my favourite mint choc chip. Oh, mint choc chip. And you say it's a party in their mouth, there's also a party in the receptacle's mouth because it is, there's little wind up teeth that go ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch but with ice cream in it. That is fun.
Starting point is 02:29:20 It's like you're making out with the teeth. Making out with the teeth. Making out with the teeth. Making out with the teeth. Aww. It feels like you're making out with the teeth. It's been a while, but geez, that is real virgin stuff from you, Dave. It has been a while. That's the only action Dave gets.
Starting point is 02:29:47 Make it out with them teeth. Was it the mint took you to teeth, like mint toothpaste? No, it was because Jess had said it's a party in your mouth. Okay. And teeth, you know. I think parties. I think fake teeth. Who's attending a party in her mouth?
Starting point is 02:30:01 Teeth. Who's attending a party in a mouth? Teeth. From Old Gate in South Australia, please and thank you to Amber Rowlands. What a- That's one of the great names. Amber Rowlands. I love that name. And another party in the mouth.
Starting point is 02:30:16 Cotton candy flavoured ice cream. Oh wow. Fairy floss. Fairy floss as we call it here. Which is the original name I learnt recently. Oh. I think that was- Straight sound, sorry about that. Oh. I think it was initially called Fairy Floss and then they, you know,
Starting point is 02:30:30 changed it to a better name, but we stuck with the original. I think Cotton Candy's nice. Yeah, Cotton Candy's great. The Cotton Candy or Fairy Floss is being served in an empty cornflakes box. Oh, you could fit quite a bit in. Yeah, just keep filling it up. And again, cardboardy taste. That's fun. I reckon ice cream shops will ever do like the 7-Eleven Sloppy Day type thing where they'll
Starting point is 02:30:49 fill up whatever receptacle you can fit under the machine. Love that day. So if you bring in like a full, like a giant cardboard box, you say, Fill it up with ice cream boys! Boys! Beep, beep! Maybe you're back at it. It's still a cardboard box, why are you backing it in?
Starting point is 02:31:05 You are chaos when it comes to desserts. It's ridiculous. And let's go with our last one. Still hasn't used Cup or Chrome. From Missoula in MT in the US, it's Angel Griego. Watermelon. In a bowl. MT in the US, it's Angel Griego. Watermelon. Ooh. In a bowl.
Starting point is 02:31:26 Oh my God. Bowl is another classic you haven't used. But it's a salad bowl. Oh my God. It's huge. What is this? That's wild. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:31:37 You're reversing that in? Beep, beep, beep. That's how big the bowl is. MT, Montana? Oh, great question. Let's look it up. That was a big scar? Home of?
Starting point is 02:31:47 Missoula. Montana. Home of Dana Carvey, I believe. Really? Maybe. Oh, my goodness. Thank you so much, Angel, Amber, Jessica, Alex, Donald, Michael, Am, Laura and Matt. And that leaves us- So Dana Carvey's from Missoula, Montana.
Starting point is 02:32:04 Whoa! Holyla, Montana. Whoa. Oh my gosh. Holy shit, Angel. It's not a big place either. It looks like it has a population of about 73,000 or 117 of you taking the Metropolitan area, but not that many. No, there could be a connection there. Angel, if you can get Danicavi on the show, let us know.
Starting point is 02:32:25 I'm pretty sure we moved to California decades ago, but still. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Also born there? David Lynch. Whoa. Amazing. He's one of the more lynching characters I know.
Starting point is 02:32:37 Don't you think? Actually, yeah, now that you put it like that. Yeah. Yeah, I hadn't thought about that. Yeah, it's really, yeah, just an interesting guy. He's very lynching. Yeah. Very lynching. Very lynching. So the last thing we need to do is welcome a few people in the Tripp Ditch Club.
Starting point is 02:32:52 And I had this thought today, just looking back to the top. What do you guys think about? I think I've maybe pitched this in the past. We do a little addendum. We won't have to do it for a few years. The Tripp Tripp Ditch Club. People have been in for nine years. We won't have to do it for a few years. The trip trip ditch club. People have been in for nine years. We won't have to do it. The people will only be entering in the year 2026, I think.
Starting point is 02:33:13 Oh yeah. And what do we do for them? I think it would just be they'd be tacked on. They'd be also they'd be going to a separate room inside. Oh, there's a VIP in the VIP. Yeah, yeah. We'll build a new section in there and they would also get access. Well, we've got time to build it. Yeah, if we're thinking of it now in 2024. Yeah, that's why we've got VIP. Yeah, yeah. We'll build a new section in there and they would also get access to that. Well, we've got time to build it. Yeah, if we're thinking of it now in 2024.
Starting point is 02:33:27 Yeah, that's why we've got to get the planning permission. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I think we've got the space. We could definitely do that. It'll be November 2025. So yeah. Oh, shit, okay. Well, that does bring it a bit closer.
Starting point is 02:33:37 About almost a year and a half away. Okay. Well, if we get onto the planning now. Yeah. We get the permits. Yeah. Because we do everything above the board here. Of course we do. We do it all above. We're winking at each other. Above the permits. Yeah. Cause we do everything above the board here. Of course we do.
Starting point is 02:33:45 We do it all above. We're wanking at each other. Above the board. Oh, I was wanking at you. Oh. Oh. Just stop wanking at us. Sorry.
Starting point is 02:33:53 And then making eye contact whilst you're wanking at us. I thought we were all wanking at each other. Only two of us were. It's weird when you have these misunderstandings that only work on paper when you're doing it. Oh, sorry. I thought you were. But I just had that thought on my way into the studio, so I thought that would be really cool. Yeah. And I thought maybe just to give people some heads up, because I was looking at that. There's some great names that we would remember as our earliest.
Starting point is 02:34:19 Remember Steve Hanmer, the hammer of God, or what have we called him? And yeah, Elijah Shelley and Adam Soss and stuff, they've been around since, like, basically we started. I don't know if it's... You know, I thought it'd be cool to cycle back. If I was around, if I was on a Patreon for something from the beginning and I'd been on this long, I would then feel so bad to ever leave. Wouldn't you?
Starting point is 02:34:44 I'd be like, they'll know I've left. No. I feel so bad. No pressure, team. No pressure. I'm just saying that's how I would feel. Man, I'm just looking at all these names from right up the top. No, no, no, no, that wasn't about them.
Starting point is 02:34:55 I'm just saying that's how I would, I would personally feel mortified to leave the... I feel like a terrible person. Yeah, I feel like so embarrassed. I'd be like, they're going to get this big notification. It's going to wake them up at 3am. No, please. That I've left their page. You know, I feel mort so embarrassed. I'd be like, they're gonna get this big notification. It's gonna wake them up at 3 a.m. No, please. That I've left their page. You know, I feel more like-
Starting point is 02:35:08 Oh, Steve Hamner, no! No! Don't leave us now. After all we've been through together. Jess is joking. Please don't turn this into a burn for them. That would be the worst. No, that's right.
Starting point is 02:35:18 If it's no longer your thing, or you can't afford it for whatever reason, please, there's never any pressure. That's exactly what I'm saying. Jess won't judge you. Well, maybe's never any pressure. That's exactly what I'm saying. Jess won't judge you. Well, maybe Jess will, but Matt and I won't. I don't look up the Patreon app at all, so don't stress. I can't log in on my phone anymore.
Starting point is 02:35:33 What happened? I don't know. Just the other day it was like, no, you have to log back in. And then I couldn't remember the password and I gave up. There's three people being inducted in. The password is stevehamner118. The password is SteveHamner1180. I just, I, cause he's like, we have some patrons and supporters who are quite active and we talk to them regularly online and stuff.
Starting point is 02:35:54 But there's some like Steve, he, I don't, he doesn't really get in touch with us. So I was like, holy shit, the hammer's still involved. I'm stoked to hear that he's still involved. Awesome. Steve, this is your pre triptage triptage shout out. Yeah, well, you've inspired, I think we could even call it the hammer wing or something. Oh, that's nice. The Steve Hamner appreciation wing.
Starting point is 02:36:13 That's lovely. Which could be, you could argue would be brutal to Elijah who signed up hours later. It's like, we just have to wait for Steve to drop off and then we'll have to rename the wing. And now, Steve, you can never drop off. That's right. All right. So just three inductees. You can, I'd just be mortified. Anyway, yep. Three inductees into the triptych club, which is why I won't tell Jess, because she has
Starting point is 02:36:37 no access to that information. Sorry. I'm reading out. I'm getting ahead of ourselves. We got six this week. It's double. Double. I was reading in halves, which is one of my issues that I have. Now, if you don't know, this is the, this is where people who've been signed up on the Shout Out level or above for three straight years get welcomed into a club that they're not allowed to leave, but they're glad of it because they wouldn't want to even if they could.
Starting point is 02:37:07 Exactly. It just happens that it's a one-way valve entry and we can't, we've tried to fix them, we can't. So there's just no exit, but it's a fantastic place. There's everything you'd ever need in there. And the way it works is Dave books a band. I don't know how they leave. I guess all the bands remain in there as well. They're trapped in there. the bands remain in there as well. Is that right, Dave? They're trapped in there. They're happy in there. Yeah, Dave books a band or what usually way in advance.
Starting point is 02:37:31 So don't expect it to be relevant to ice cream or anything. And Jess also creates sometimes a drink, sometimes a food dish, sometimes both. Yep. Well, we've got an ice cream bar this week. That is exciting. And so it's sort of like when you'd go to smorgies as a kid. So you could get ice cream bar this week. Oh, that is exciting. And so it's sort of like when you'd go to smorgies as a kid. So you could get ice cream, you can put your own toppings on it and stuff. I've I put some I've got like some hot sauce and stuff. It is too hot.
Starting point is 02:37:54 But the ice cream is cold. So but the hot chocolate sauce is actually just instantly melts the ice cream. Yeah. And probably through the bowl. I love it. Everyone, I reckon, as a kid in Melbourne, at least, or maybe in Australia, or maybe in the world, probably not, but has like a place that they remember for special occasions they'd go to that had a desert bar or dessert bar. A dessert bar. Why wouldn't it have a desert bar filled with dessert? Well, when I was a child, you know,
Starting point is 02:38:32 I think we're coming out of an ice age and just having a little spot of desert. Oh, my God. Was it a treat? Yes. It's a real oasis. Sorry, that was that was privilege talking. Yeah, it was privilege. No, mine was Pizza Hut. Yes. Which was a good and another one was was, which I never had, which was... What was that other classic all you can eat one? Was it Smorgies?
Starting point is 02:38:50 Smorgies was a big one. I think there might even still be a Smorgies. But there was another one. There was another one you were on. Sizzlers. Sizzlers. That's right. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:38:58 I've never been to a Sizzler, but I had friends and that was always... You had friends? Well, I went to school with people and they would... They'd brag about going to Sizzlers sometimes. Never got the privilege, but did go to Pizza Hut. Yeah, just getting like those cubes of jelly. Yes, cubes of jelly and like chocolate mousse. M&Ms or Smarties maybe. And the soft serve ice cream.
Starting point is 02:39:15 I have as much as it. You can just keep going back. Man, that was the good, those were the good old days. Yeah. Anyway, so you've got a setup like that only good, because it was awful. Looking back, it was probably disgusting. Yeah, this is pretty good. I would just steer clear of the hot sauce. Okay, great.
Starting point is 02:39:30 Because it's far too hot. Dave, have you booked a band? You're never going to believe it. What have you done? I've actually booked this Canadian band that I've just been introduced to. I think they're Canadian, I've already forgotten. You're never going to believe it. When Jess mentioned them before, I was like, oh my God.
Starting point is 02:39:44 When you were playing them before. Oh. Hitting the stage tonight. Fast Romantics are here. Fast Romantics. Wow. Fast Romantics. Are they Canadian? Remember when Jess brought it up? I think everyone listening should know that that was Jess's recommendation. Yes.
Starting point is 02:39:54 If they become one of your favourite bands, remember that Jess suggested it. No, I meant Jess was playing it and I couldn't believe it. And then, Matt, you're reading out the lyrics and I was like, they're about to hit the stage. We're going to hear it tonight. From Calgary. Yes. And I think Piper also suggested them a little bit, but I think mainly it was Jess. To the show, but I obviously booked these guys months in advance. Yes. So it's just an amazing coincidence Piper.
Starting point is 02:40:20 I'm sorry that I got involved accidentally, but because I didn't realise you were going to be back, because I've booked Ice Cream Hands to play as well. Also, coincidentally, I booked them. Really? So we got two. There's a mini festival in the internet. Yeah. Ice Cream Hands. That is happening a bit. I wish you two would just communicate. Off pod. Can you tell Dave that I'm not ready to communicate?
Starting point is 02:40:41 OK, I understand. I am looking forward to Ice Cream Hands playing their hit No Weapon But Love. Yeah. Looking forward to that. And another song. Do you remember Ice Cream Hands? No. They're an old Triple J type of band, I think, from like the 2000s.
Starting point is 02:40:53 Oh, I thought you might have just typed it to Spotify Ice Cream, but there you go. Um, let me have a look. I mean, there's a few. There's also, there was that song by Muscles. Remember that ice cream song? That was another big Triple J hit. You keep saying that because I used to work at Triple J, but I worked there like three years. You're a toddler.
Starting point is 02:41:14 Yeah, exactly. So no, I don't remember. They don't give you a crash course in every song they've ever played? No, no, they don't. You don't remember Ice Cream Hands? They don't give you a crash course in when Triple J was actually good. Back when I was young. So we've got six people to welcome in.
Starting point is 02:41:30 Oh my God, yes, I thought we were done. We're not done. But no, we're not done. We're doing our most important part. All right, so Dave's gonna hype them up with weak word play, Jess hypes up Dave. Unbelievable. Well, I'm just setting the bar, setting the stand.
Starting point is 02:41:41 No, setting the stand. That's fine. I'm gonna read them out, I've got their names on a clipboard, here we go. First up, please welcome and make them so welcome and get ready to enjoy a great double header, double headline show from St. Austell in Con in Great Britain. What would that be Coventry?
Starting point is 02:41:58 No, it doesn't matter from Con. It's Bailey Sage. Hit the stage, Bailey Sage. Hit the stage, Bailey Sage. Yeah, woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo Markos! From Sydney, Sin City itself up in New South Wales, Australia, it's Clancy Greening. More like Clancy Gleaming. Oh, it's how I feel when I see Clancy. You are gleaming. Yeah. OK, what are you gleaming?
Starting point is 02:42:36 And from, from address unknown, can only assume from deep within the fortress of the miles, please welcome Mary DeGroot. I give a hoot for Mary DeGroot. Hoot hoot! You're Mary DeGroot, I am DeGroot. Is that a reference? Shut the fuck up. From Roseville in MNUS, maybe Minnesota, it's not a cat.
Starting point is 02:42:59 They're not a dog either, they're a legend, it's not a cat. And finally, from Cambridge in CamGB. I reckon it's Cambridge. What's that one for? It's Vicky H. Look, usually I'm pretty picky. And I continue to be picky. It's only for the best for us, it's Vicky.
Starting point is 02:43:17 Woo hoo! Woo hoo! Woo hoo! Vicky, Vicky! Ah, thank you so much to Vicky, Nodda, Mary, Clancy, Marcos and Bailey. Welcome in, make yourselves at home, grab some ice cream. Yep.
Starting point is 02:43:31 Head on over to the band room and we're gonna have a great night. We're gonna party to celebrate your entries into the club. Welcome. Now that brings us into the episode, just anything we need to do before we bid this baby home? You could suggest a topic if you bloody want to, your little cutie pants. There's a link in the show notes.
Starting point is 02:43:48 It's also on our website, which is dogoonpod.com, which is where you can find information about our other podcasts, about tours, merch, all that sort of good stuff. Um, and you can follow us at dogoonpod across social media. Yes, we're doing like most weeks. There's like two clips from each episode-ish that you can check out. Please like them and share them. Please.
Starting point is 02:44:10 If you want to see us live in person, if you're in Melbourne or Sydney, coming up this weekend in Melbourne, we're doing the live Do Go On The Quiz Show. And then the following weekend, we are in Sydney at the Fabulous Ritz Cinema in Randwick for a live Do Go On podcast. Tickets available at our website as well. Do Go On pod dot com. There's new t-shirts out at the moment as well. If you're a Brendan Fraser fan. Fraser fan. Fraser fan.
Starting point is 02:44:29 I mispronounced his name because I'm a big one. Brendan Fraser fan. Do we have, are they publicly available, Dave? Or are they just the patrons? They're publicly available. I don't know, everyone can get, you can order one. They're made to order and the order is closing soon. So get involved.
Starting point is 02:44:42 Please. We'd love to give you a phrhrasing the Bar t-shirt. Yeah, it's going to be a real limited edition based on pre-sales. Yeah, very limited. Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode, but until then, also thank you so much for listening and until then, goodbye. Later. Bye. Hey marketers, want a matchmaker to set you up with your perfect audience? Well, look no further.
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