Do Go On - 458 - Doctor Who

Episode Date: July 31, 2024

Michelle Brasier drops in to tell us about the long and storied history of Doctor Who. From William Hartnell to Ncuti Gatwa, we hear how everyone's favourite Time Lord has developed over time. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 13:14 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ See Michelle perform Legacy in Edinburgh: https://tickets.gildedballoon.co.uk/event/14:5184/Pre order Michelle's book: https://lnk.to/MyBrothersAshes Watch Do Go On The Quiz Show: https://youtu.be/GgzcPMx1EdM?si=ir7iubozIzlzvWfK Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/  Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my gosh, our live tour to the UK, Ireland and Berlin is on sale right now. We are coming over in November 2024 to do many, many shows. Jess, what cities are we hitting up as I pass the list to you? Well, Dave, we're going to be hitting Berlin, Edinburgh, Belfast, Dublin, Manchester, Leeds, Birmingham, Bristol and London. My god. Huge. Big tour. We haven't been for a few years. That's right. And we've never been to Belfast and we've never been to Berlin. Yep. We've heard both of those places are very nice. That's right and they love to sell out

shows, right guys? Yes they do. We've heard that because I told you both that. They're great. I've had great times in both places. Yep, Irish bars in both places. Particularly Belfast. Yeah, of course. Interesting. Well, if you want to join us on this cultural extravaganza, you can get tickets right now at dogoonpod.com. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello! Hey Dave, how's it going? Jess?

Good to see you. I'm going very well, thank you for asking. Matt and I are fighting again. What's happening now? A lovers tiff. Let's not get into it. We realized we've known each other for 10 years and we've never kissed.

None of us have ever kissed. What's happening? What, Jess, you've never kissed me. Let's not bring that onto the podcast. The only thing, odds are, at one point, our lips would have just met. Exactly, the three of us. We've shared spaghetti so many times and we've never accidentally met.

The noodles breaks at the last second. Yeah and we're like oh. If a million monkeys are topping up they'll eventually kiss. You know? Exactly, chances are. I know it's crazy. So it's weird. Anyway, maybe by the end of the year.

Let's make that a goal. Maybe by the end of the episode. Oh my. Fantastic. Well this week we are joined by a very special guest, a great friend of the podcast and I don't know, have any of us ever kissed her? Let's find out. It's Michelle Brazier.

Hello. I have kissed all of you. It's true. Who was the best? Um, best kisser is Jess. Correct. What? But, smoothest lips go to Dave.

Yeah. And biggest beard goes to Matt. That's true. That's true. And biggest beard goes to Matt. That's true. And that's on exfoliation. Then I appreciate that. I'm so sorry, Dave, that you had to hear that about. Biggest beard.

My beard being bigger than yours. Like, I can't believe it. I didn't want to say it, but you guys pushed me. Yeah. I felt pushed into that. That's only because I've had a recent trim, but this time last week you should have seen me. Yeah.

As a bush ranger. Oh, yeah. I'd like to see you as a bush seen me. Did you? Hahaha. So it was a Bush Ranger. Oh yeah. I'd like to see you as a Bush Ranger. Me too. Yeah. I'd be called the something kid, wouldn't I? Oh yeah. Absolutely yes. The Bush Ranger kid.

The clean shaven kid. Hahaha. I've got to be in contact. That's what it says on all the posters. One description. Clean shaven. Oh my gosh. I've got a stubble.

That's right. There's some sort of growth there. What is this, a four year growth at this point? It's pretty good. Possibly five. Yeah, looking fantastic. And we're very proud of you. It's good. It means you'll keep your head hair. Is that true? You have a shit beard.

Testosterone is responsible for beard. It's also responsible for losing your hair. Oh my God. I'm sure there's other things at play. I'm obviously not a scientist. What? So I know I didn't, I should have said this before. I think you are a scientist.

Okay. Well, I'm not a hair scientist. Okay. Specific, like this isn't my field of research in academia, which is what I do for a job, but I science I think is it's testosterone. I think it's testosterone. That's interesting. It's like an overflow.

What? No, I'm loving the science, but I'm just wondering if any new listeners have landed here. Oh. You, Michelle, have listened to this show before. So I think maybe you'd be in a great position to explain how it works. Oh, OK. All right. Well, every week, the four of us gather. So Jess, Matt and Dave gather, and

one of them goes away and writes a report on a topic suggested often by one of our glorious Patreon. We love them all. Yes, for all of us financially, all four of us equally. And they will say, hey, we want to hear a report on Matt's big beard. And then one of us will go away and write Matt's big beard report. And then the others just listen quietly and sometimes throw the occasional barb. Only occasionally.

Yeah. It's a rare barb. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes there's guests. That's my nan's name. Rare barb. It's not true.

No, it's Dorothy. Oh, that's pretty good though. That's a rare barb. Dorothy is the rarest barb of all. Like the headline that you just read, Jess? I took a screenshot because I was like, surely somebody will complain about that and they'll change it, so I need to get this.

It was a news.com.au article. The headline was Grandma Drowns, no one helps her. It's so sad, it's so awful. It's also like a lyric or a poem. Grandma died. No one helps her. Yeah, it like a lyric or a poem? Grandma died. No one helped her. Yeah, it was a- They know what they're doing.

Yeah, it was eye-catching for sure. Yeah, anyway. A rare barb lost. But you explained that- I hope her name wasn't Barb. No, God, I hope not. We'll have to take that out. I don't think it was.

Her generation barbs weren't that rare. Yeah, it was a very common barb. You can have a grandma who's quite young though now. You can have a grandma in her 50s. I couldn I could, I could. Where do I get them? If you want one, you can get them down the shops. We don't get them. Well, that's a different thing. Not a gulf. Do you get them from the adult grandma shop? Yeah adult grandma shop, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Pet, pet, yeah. Pet barn, that's a different kind of grandma. Yeah, they do.

Come on down to pet barn for a different kind of grandma. That's nice. This episode started weird, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We nearly explained what the show was, Michelle. You're doing a great job there. Is there anything else you needed to say? I think she nailed it.

People suggest the topic, as you said, blah, blah, blah. Oh, we always start with a question. Yes. Yes. And it is your turn to report this week, Michelle. So you have a question. I have a question. Which television series first aired the day after JFK's assassination?

Neighbours. Who did it? Was it the news about JFK? The news. Okay. So you've got me on a technicality there. Was the news, and today my report is on the news. Love it. Are you going to cover Grandma Drowns No It was the news and today my report is on the news.

Love it. Are you going to cover Grandma Drowns? No one helps it. That's why I brought it in. It was a little taster. Guys, it's Doctor Who. Who? Doctor Who. Classic. Bit of fun. Okay. Doctor Who. I haven't watched it. At all? No, I haven't actually. Okay.

But I feel like I know bits and pieces just through other media and stuff like that. But are we heading towards another five hour Fast and the Furious? I haven't actually. Okay. But I feel like I know bits and pieces just through other media and stuff like that. But are we heading towards another five hour Fast and the Furious? No. Because Doctor Who is huge. Like it's been around for a long time. How many doctors have there been? 12?

13? There's been, we're going to find out. Listen, yesterday I got a text message from Jess that said, hey, just a heads up, we've got to be done by 4.30. We're sounding at one. We've got to be done by 4.30. We're standing at one. We're going to be done at 4.30. Because, you know, that's just the way. I know it's a big topic, but please don't, please don't write another four hours.

That wasn't from all of us either. She did that without. Because we've got nothing but time. That was just Jess not wanting to hang out with you for too long. Yeah, 4.30 is a made up number. That's a made up number. There isn't even a number. Well, I also thought at the time of recording, it's a made up number. That's a made up number, is it? There is an evident number. Well, I also thought at the time of recording,

it's, you know, we're heading towards your birthday weekend. It is my birthday weekend. And I didn't want you to be spending days and days on this, you know? I appreciate that. I was looking after you. And me. So are you yourself a big Doctor Who fan, a Whovian? I'm a Whovian.

And I know you wouldn't think it to look at me. No. You think, whoa, that girl, who is that? Margaret Robbie? Yes. She seems, wow, like a, like a cool girl. Margaret Robbie's cousin, just for anybody. Yeah.

But I'm actually a nerd, guys. What? Yeah. I'm so embarrassed. Wait, nerds can be hot? Nerds can be hot. I don't know. I just like that nerd stuff.

I don't know. It's crazy. What other nerd stuff are you into? Book. What? Yes, it's crazy. Okay, that is actually pretty crazy. I'm also a little bit of a nerd.

What? And also very hot. Nerds can be ugly? Very hot. Hot and with a big beard. You're hot and a big beard. You have the biggest beard, yeah. I'm a jock.

I don't think you watched Doctor Who, Matt? I've seen the scene where Van Gogh sees his own paintings online a few times. That's a beautiful episode. It comes up a lot, doesn't it? On Facebook all the time. That's a beautiful episode. I've seen one about, who's the Dickensian guy? Charles Dickens.

Charles Dickens? Yes. I've seen the episode where he's in it, which I think was maybe from the last 30 years. Yeah, Charles Dickens was in it. Maybe 10 years ago or something. And no, but as a kid, I saw a bit of it. I think it was on after the goodies or something. And I saw a bit of it.

Of the old one? Yeah, it was an old one. I'm like, this looks shit. It looked so bad, you know, the era where it was like colanders and stuff. It's kind of janky. That's the one that I watched. I love that one because my granddad was a big fan and he had a videotape. Now in his 50s.

My favorite, he's like this amazing, very young man. He had a videotape of a movie that they made called The Five Doctors where the first five of them had got together except the first one, William Hartnell because he was dead and they had a lookalike. And I would watch that. That was like my sick at home movie. So I watched that like a hundred times. Oh, that's so nice, wow.

But you didn't get into the new one. Oh, and I have seen the new one when, yeah, I saw the Christopher Eccleston and then David Tennant, but I haven't gone on from those. Okay. You've seen nearly all of it, by the sound of it. But there's been about seven of them since then. There's four million.

When William Hartnell died, so they've had a few people, like people play him. And you know Filch from Harry Potter? Yes. Fellow millennials? Yes. Filch from Harry Potter? So the groundskeeper guy?

The guy with the cat. Yeah. He's got a name. Is he the guy with the mad eye? He's a great character actor. No, that's Mad Eye Moony. A different guy. Different guy.

Anyway, he played William Hartnell. There you go. I wonder who played him in this 80s one. And for the record, my favourite is number two, Patrick Troughton. OK, really? That's your favorite doctor. Is the groundskeeper Hagrid? No, we're going in a different direction. I don't think I don't remember a groundskeeper. But I have seen those films.

Well, he wasn't a groundskeeper, was he? He was like a manage the building kind of thing. He was a caretaker. Yeah, he had long hair. Yeah, yeah, he killed more cats. He's in lots of stuff. He's really good. He's really good. Yeah, he was like a hair taker. Yeah, he had long hair. He was like a janitor or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's killed my cat. He's in lots of stuff, he's real good. He's really good.

Yeah, he's really good. Yeah, really good actor. And I should know his name, but I don't. But it is in here, so I'll pretend like I know him. He was a doctor? Well, yes, yeah, he was. Whoa! Yeah.

Tom Brady, Tom Hart, Tom, there was a Tom as well. Tom Baker. Tom Baker. Tom Brady, the jock doctor. Jock Doctor. Jock Doctor. Actually don't remind me, I'm going to make a call. I'm Jock Doctor. I don't think Jock Doctor is a good business name. Jock Doctor. It says it, what it is. It sounds like a powder you put in your itchy nuts. I'm sure it exists. I reckon it exists. Jock Doctor. Can you get me a sachet of Jock Doctor? Yeah, while you're at the shops. Yeah. I think it's good. All right. I'm sure it exists. I reckon it exists. Jock Doctor. Can you get me a sachet of Jock Doctor? Yeah, while you're at the shops.

Yeah. I think it's good. All right. I'm going to start my report. You guys, this is an enormous topic. Okay. I know that, but I'm just going to give you an overview of kind of what happens, a bit of the history. It's not going to be fast and furious. I promise. It's kind of, it's probably a good introduction

for people who don't know anything about Doctor Who. Yes. You know, cause I reckon I would be interested, but it seems so daunting cause there's such a history. Exactly. But I'm like, that's too much for me to start watching. Yeah. I should put a disclaimer in here.

I did not watch the old one. Yeah. Due to my extreme youth. Yes. You're very, very young. And you're turning 21 this weekend. I'm turning 21 this weekend and I can't wait. Wow.

I cannot wait. But yeah, I am, as I said, like I'm a hot girl. So coming out as a Doctor Who fan is like quite, that's quite. That's very brave. It's a bit risky for your career. Yeah. But I'm just, I'm just here to kind of encourage all the hotties out there to get into the Doctor because I really like Doctor Who.

I think it's great. Doctor Who? So you're talking about Jock Doctor again? Jock Doctor. Yeah. Sorry. When I'm talking, when I say the Doctor, I mean Jock Doctor. Yes.

Thank you. I'm always going to think you're saying like get into the GP, make an appointment with your doctor. Yeah. Great. Good to check in. All of these things. I mean all of these.

Okay, great. Even if you feel quite well, that could be something. Then you can pay 80 something dollars. And that's good. For them to say- You get 25 cents back on Medicare. They say, why are you here? And you say, I don't know.

Something happened. Subliminal messaging. Michelle, at a risk of doing another tedious tangent. Yes. We're talking about, where's Doctor Who from? The UK? From the UK. Are you about to go there?

I am about to go to the UK, Matt. Well done. Thank you so much. I'm about to go and do an Edinburgh Fringe season. My 10th Edinburgh Fringe. Wow. Yes. I just did a tour of the UK and I noticed a lot of the press was like,

Edinburgh favourite, Edinburgh legend, Edinburgh. And I was like, oh, yeah, I do keep coming. Wow. Like it was your 10th. And you were listening to these things. No, I wasn't in that. I just saw those things. But yeah, it's not, isn't that mad? I've become a stalwart. You've been going since you were 11 years old. I've been going since I was 11 years old. I think I've met you, maybe that's where I met you at the second, at your second one then.

Maybe. I was there briefly in 2014 and I think I met you you, maybe that's where I met you at your second one then. Maybe. I was there briefly in 2014 and I think I met you at your house. At my house in Marchmont? Yeah, I think so. We had a house party. It was a really great house party. Auntie Donna did the Backwards Anorak show and Backwards Anorak did the Auntie Donna

show and Leo, our friend, locked himself in the toilet because he was upset because someone famous had died. Robin Williams had passed away and he was so upset and quite drunk. And so he locked himself in the bathroom and we only had one bathroom and that ended the party. Robin Williams. That's all it's answer for. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good party. I'm really proud of that party. I think about that party, I go,

you didn't even live in that city and you hosted a really great party. A really good house party. Michelle Brazier. You should have got a second bathroom, but apart from that, you did a really great party. A really good house party. Well done, Michelle Brazier. You should have got a second bathroom, but apart from that, you did really good. Well, back that up this year. I'll back it up. I'll back it up. Do a 10-year anniversary of that great house party.

Of that great house party. I think that's reasonable. Bring back all the same guests, all the same. I'll get, there was a weird Christian man there that we didn't know. Oh, that was me. It was just there to preach. It was really- Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the beard was good. Good was just there to preach. It was really. Yeah.

But the beard was good. Good beard. Thank you. Sorry, that was Jesus. All right, guys, there are 26 seasons on BBC. There's a bunch of specials. There's like audio adventures. There are books.

There are a lot of explorations, spin-offs of the Hooniverse. I'm just going to focus on the television program, okay? So if you don't know what Doctor Who is at all, Doctor Who is a long running British TV series, 1963 it started, about a person called the Doctor, except it's not a person, it's a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. They're the last, and listen, I don't like space,

so just keep that in mind. They're the last of the Time Lords, apart like space. So just keep that in mind. Wow. They're the last of the time Lords apart from their big bed, sometimes sexy frenemy, the master, the doctor travels through time and space in the spaceship called the TARDIS time and relative dimension in space, which is shaped like a police box from 1963. You've probably seen the blue box. Yes. The law on the spaceship is like it's supposed to change to blend into its surroundings. It has a thing called the Chameleon circuit or something. And it got stuck in 1963 and never changed, making it the iconic box we know and love today. And saving the BBC a lot of money on its budget. Do you think they planned that originally?

Or they did plan it wasn't like because the first season is 1963. So it was like whatever was around. And then they're like, I just got stuck in this. All right, we've got no money. It's still 1963. But what was the point of those police boxes? I don't know. I think they had a phone in them. You could go in and call the police.

It'd be pretty funny if it was just a police officer just standing in there. In the box, just always ready to go. Yeah. I think that's what it was. You just go get your police officer. Yeah. And of course in England, a police officer is just a person. They don't have a gun. Yeah. He's like, Hey, I need a bit of backup. I need a second person. It's Paddington Bear. Yeah. Can you help me carry this? And he's like, yeah, of course.

Cause it's just a person. It's just a person. It's Hugh Grant. Yeah. It's Hugh Grant. Oh, my friend saw Hugh Grant. He's been in a, didn't he get into a bit of trouble being inside like a box or something? Oh, probably. No, I was like- Do you mean shooting on his wife? Is that what you're referring to? I don't know, I think it was a cubicle, but- I don't know what he did, but good on him.

That wasn't him. I don't know. That was a man. I don't know, I don't know. Your friend. My friend saw Hugh Grant at a Waitrose buying too many bottles of Pims. Isn't that the most British thing you've heard in your entire life? I was like, fuck yeah, that rules. Anyway, the TARDIS is bigger on the inside because the

inside is in a different dimension to the outside. Something science, science fiction, something. Makes sense. But it's bigger on the inside. That's what everyone says. Everyone goes in, they go, whoa, it's bigger on the inside. Isn't that like, oh my God, there's so much room in here. It's a bit like the bus in the Spice World movie. It's exactly like I think it's the same technology. I think it's the same tech. Great. It's a bit like the Holden Berina. It's a zippy little number.

Yes. A lot more room on the inside than you'd realise. But get you from A to B. That's right. Yes. Yes. And stuck in 1963. It's like the tents at the in Harry Potter when they go to like the Quidditch Cup.

Yeah. Or something. It looks like a normal tent and then you walk in and it's got like a full living room and. It's like the caravan in Loaded Weapon, which is spoofing lethal weapon. And the Mel Gibson character maybe is Emilio Estevez and he goes inside his caravan and it's like a palace inside. Very funny. That's good stuff.

Okay, great. I think we've covered all bases there with our fan base. So I've been saying they for the doctor. The doctor has no fixed gender. So I'm just gonna use all pronouns. I'm gonna use the big three, she, he, they. It's the doctor. Okay, cause they have different genders at different times.

The doctor loves meddling in people's lives and saving worlds. Kind of like Jess. What? Yeah. Kind of a gossip. You're a real love. Yeah. I was trying to help. Keep your nose out of it.

What? I just told your wife where your secret stash was. Yeah, and you ruined everything. What kind of stash? Porn and cash. Oh, cash stash. Porn drawn on cash. One stash he doesn't have, though, the mouth. What is this?

What am I rubbing? Porn drawn on cash. One star she doesn't have though, the muh. Can't grow up. What is this? What am I rubbing? Oh my god, David, please. There's a pod cast. The show sees the Doctor travel through space and time. We get some real treats in Earth's

history because we go back, we spend a lot of time on Earth. The Doctor loves Earth. So we have an episode where the Doctor meets William Shakespeare, the Vincent van Gogh episode, Rosa Parks, Mary Shelley on the eve that she's about to write Frankenstein, Nikola Tesla, which I got to go on Whovians with Australian icon Rove and talk about that episode, which was very fun. Madame de Pompadour, a famous courtesan, which is like a very Bridgerton vibe episode. Okay, great. I love that. You skipped over that Whovians thing a bit.

There wasn't a show in Australia for a while. Called Whovians. On ABC. A recap show on like proper mainstream TV. Yeah, comedy recap. After Doctor Who, it was on ABC. Yeah, it was good. Hosted by Rove McManus.

Love it. A recap show. Hey, that thing you just watched. Let me tell you what happened. Yeah, it was fun. I was on it twice. I had a great it. Recapture. Hey, the thing you just watched. Let me tell you what happened. Yeah, it was fun. I was on it twice. I had a great time. That's great. Yeah. They have a TARDIS there. That's why there's that TARDIS in Sydney, ABC. Oh, that makes sense.

Or perhaps it's coincidental, coincidental. But it was in there. It was on the set. There was like, it's like Talking Dead was the show after Walking Dead. And I've not seen either of those. But is it like that? It's like that. That's a fact, is it? But yeah, there's heaps of fun characters and time periods to play with, as well as different planets and galaxies to explore. There's no limits.

There's no limits, which is, you know, traditionally kind of a problem in things if you don't set a limit. But I think the Doctor Who handles it really well. But it's very fun. All the places and times we get to see the doctor travels with a companion. Or sometimes there is like a few companions, maybe one core companion who's like their real partner in crime. But like there sometimes is a group, traditionally a beautiful young woman with brains and skills.

The doctor maybe like lacks or needs things that she can do that he's like, well, even though I'm a genius, like that's kind of the general traditional vibe. But in the more recent series, we've had male companions as well. Jodie Whittaker's doctor had a whole gang of three. One of them was like a guy who I think used to host like some game show on British TV show on British TV. And then they were like, now you're a doctor companion, which is really fun. Can I just jump in? Yeah.

What's the minimum number of people that can be considered a gang? Because that was three. Three. Four. Three? Because I was just wondering if we could be a podcast, but also a gang. I think we could be. I think we could be a gang. A gang of three, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah. Gang of youths. Do you want to do some crime? Oh, we have to do crime.

Or do you want to like fight some crime? Oh, yeah, you can fight crime. Do you want to do some crime? Oh, we have to do crime. Or do you want to like fight some crime? Oh yeah, you can fight crime. You can be a crime fighting gang. Yeah. Or you can just see crime. You can be a crime scene. Do you want to say some crime? We're a pretty passive gang, I think.

Yeah. Crime witnesses. Do you guys want to hang out and watch a movie or something? Yeah. That will say it's like gang time. Yeah, yeah. That sounds good to me.

All right guys, gang time. So, I mean, you're going to explain this, aren't you? Yes. It's just, is it, it's one person mean, you're going to explain this, aren't you? Yes. It's one person they evolve into another person or something when they get recast. Is it the same for the sidekick? No, it's not. It's always a different person.

Right. They're not pretending that they're just a reincarnation of the same thing. No, it's always a different person. So the doctor picks up lots of different friends. Some of them come back. Is the companion always human companions always? Oh, so he has the doctor had a robot dog called K9 at one point, which is very cute.

And yeah, there are some friends that aren't human, but mostly it's like a human from Earth. Yeah, cool. That he is. They're just into it. Yeah. He can go anywhere. And Earth, from Earth. Yeah, cool. That he's just into it. Yeah. He can go anywhere. And he keeps. Always Earth. I'm like, grow up.

Do you know what I mean? Travel a little, you know? See the world. But, you know. See the universe. Yeah, it happens. I'm always saying that. There's heaps.

But Jodie also had, like a lot of the time, there's like a bit of a romantic interest between the Doctor and their like main companion. And Jodie Whitaker. Even though she had that gang, she also like there was a beautiful woman at the centre of it all who was also in love with the doctor. So she also had that romance with the beautiful young woman. Always like a will she won't she sort of thing or is it always just a they will

definitely? No, it's always like, well, they won't they and they hardly ever do. Right. In fact, they kind of it's a real tease. Well, it In fact, they kind of, it's a real tease. Well, it was a family show. But yeah, typically being in the love with the doctor is a bad idea because they will hurt you due to your mortality and their extreme lack of ever aging or dying, but they definitely have a type.

They're always into smart Earth people. That's their kink. Earth is their kink. And I respect that. I get that. But yes, as I said, the Time Lord, they regenerate when they die. Too confidently said, I get that. Oh yeah, I love it. Oh yeah. No, that's my kink.

I'm nearly 100%. I think nearly every one I've ever crushed on was from Earth. Oh shit, I hadn't thought about that. I guess. It's funny, you don't put together the dots and then you're like, oh fuck, like every single person. No, because in primary school- Am I a predator.

Do you know what I mean? Like I keep going for earthlings. Do you know what I mean? Do I have it? Yeah. Is it like, is it a bias? Like, is it a bad kind of preference? That's the thing is like, am I fetishizing earthlings?

Or no. I think you are. It's good to examine. Like, just have a look at yourself and go, OK. In primary school, I had a crush on a boy called Trent and I can't remember for sure if he was human. Trent sounds alien to me. Trent.

Trent. Trent. What could it be? Me and Trent. Oh God. I had a big thing for Widget the World Watcher at one point and I'm pretty sure Widget is a cartoon alien who can change forms. But one of those forms is Earth.

Oh, and that's probably the appeal for you, isn't it? Well, sometimes that's a gateway into new, different things, things you aren't traditionally brought up to be attracted to. Because that's the thing is it can be a cultural thing as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not entirely our fault. No, it's not entirely. And it never will be and it never is. Never will. How do we feel about the age gap?

If the doctor's like 5,000 years old. This is something we talk about. And you're 35, is that a bit weird? Yeah, I think it is weird. They've got so much experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But usually, especially in the newer ones. Why are you interested in a 35-year-old?

Yeah, that's the thing. They don't even have two frontal cortexes. Oh, that's the other thing. The doctor has two hearts. Okay. That's important to know. Because did that happen when they killed him off and had to bring him back? Oh no, it's cause he got shot in his other heart. Oh no, other heart. No, they can die. So they die, but they don't die forever. They regenerate. Right. Yes. Which I'll get

into. So a bit of Time Lord history, the Time Lord history, the Time Lords history, vast messy, but essentially they look like people. Um, that's that same kink bias, but they live in the planet Gallifrey and they are able to regenerate when they die. So in theory, there's like it meant to be a number of regenerations that they have, but we can ignore that for convenience and it kind of just gets explained away in the canon that I'll get to later on in the report. Point is when they die, I think they're supposed to be 12 and then they die. Okay. The point is, but when they die, they become a new person with a new face, but the same name and the same memories and more or less the same core values and personality traits. So they're always like a little bit different,

but it's like you got the same breed of dog from the same breeder. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for putting in terms I understand. For the doctor, those core traits are empathy, a healthy mistrust of authority and curiosity. Canine should have been called the dog to. Oh my God. That's true. Have you been listening to me at all? Or did you just think about that for 10 minutes? You just you just pronounced Doctor like dog to me there. I'm like, that makes that makes sense.

That should be what it's called. That is true. Imagine having a pet dog named Dog to who? Oh, that must happen. It must. Dog to who? Dog to who? That must happen a lot, actually. Oh, toahu. Probably more common than like Rex or whatever. Yeah. Oh there'll be dogs out there called K9 because it's like K-9.

Yeah. That's clever. And his little Robert goes K9! He's really cute. Oh I like that a lot. And he calls the doctor his master which is problematic. He's real cute. Can I make a guess that the existing fans hated it?

Hated it? They're like, what are you doing? Don't infantile this show. This is a show. You know, they hate it. No. Fandoms hate it when you bring in a new cute character. He's old. Canine is old. Canine's from the old Doctor. Oh, OK.

Which, again, we will get to. But also, I think Doctor Who fans are very accepting. For a fandom, they will put up with a lot. Put up with it. We'll put up with it. Yeah, well I'll watch it, but I'll complain about it. Like it's a bit bad. Anyways, okay.

Where am I up to in my little Time Lord history? Okay, so Time Lords, they have a history of meddling with other people's lives. In the early days, they would have these. This is just history, so this is not like stuff that we really spend a lot of time, but this is important that, you know, they would have these like gladiatorial fights between species they considered lesser than themselves. And then as they evolved a bit more, they became to be like better people, trying to

use their, you know, perceived power and knowledge to like help other civilizations. So it's a bit colonial history. At first they mistreat others who are different. They mistreat others who are different, then they exploit them for personal gain and then they try to step in because they know better and interfere with the lives. Then they often have catastrophic effects. So after that, the time lords went through their cycle of this and they eventually made a vow not to do anything. So they adopt a policy of neutrality. They just sort of watch as other worlds burn, which is also not the best approach and definitely not what the Doctor does.

So very long story short, the Doctor's like great pain from a new series onwards is that he carries the knowledge that he has killed all the Time Lords in a big war called the Time War. He tried everything to help these people in the war against the Daleks, which is a race of kind of like an evil octopus inside a tin can. You will have seen it's got like a plunger and it's like, it says exterminate. Have you seen these? Oh yeah, very iconic. I think this is the thing that made me think this sucks. This is silly. I can respect that you would think that they look silly, but I think they're

very scary. I was very little at the time, okay. So it wasn't, you know, I didn't realize how hard it was to make TV and on a limited budget and whatever. But I mean, they are silly though, aren't they? Like it's surely even if you're loving it, even if you're loving it, you're like, this is a bit funny. Oh, they are, I think that's the thing about Doctor Who, it's very whimsical and silly and you have to really, the fandom, and this is why they'll put up with anything, they

just go, yeah, we suspend our disbelief. We love this. Cause at its core, the doctor is someone who sees the best in people. And so I think the fans want to be like the doctor, which is really nice. But how did he kill all his friends? So, okay.

So the Daleks were, there was a big war, the Daleks and the Timelords were having like sort of a big final battle. And then the doctor was there and he was like, all right, well, I have to stop this and tried everything they could to stop it. Oh my God, I didn't tell you that the Time Lords can travel through time

and that's why they had all those powers. Anyway, so he's trying to fix that, trying to save them and then realizes the only way to save the universe from the Daleks who love war and just want to kill everything is to blow up everyone in this vicinity, which is including my people, the Time Lords. So he had to, you know, sacrifice his own race to save every other race, which is very sad, very sad. And that also killed all the Daleks.

Also killed all the Daleks, yes. Oh, so the Daleks are done. Well, listen, like the Fast and the Furious, when someone dies, are they really dead? Okay. You know? But yeah, very sad. That's like what I was telling you at the party in Edinburgh. When you die, it's not the end. Yeah, you were saying that, weren't you?

Yeah. You were saying that you kept stealing people's waters and then sort of doing a weird magic trick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's good though, because we were running out of that wine. That was very helpful. But yeah, first ad in 63, created by the BBC. The show's MO was to be a family show, which is why it's sort of a kid's show. Some of the monsters in the first few series were created by kids. They were designed by kids. Kids would just draw a kid and draw a monster, and they'd be like, yeah, we'll make that.

There was one I think called the Absorb-a-Lof, which is just a big like, rawr, rawr, rawr. That's so fun. Draw it by Absorb-a-Lof. Yeah. And it was a big what, sorry? Rawr, rawr, rawr.

Yeah, it was very, very fun. But yeah, the idea was to educate young people about history and science. So we traveled through time and then learned about science. Rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr. Absorb-a-Lof. Yeah, Absorb-a-L laugh, like the important stuff, okay?

The first four episodes were written by Anthony Coburn, but there's like a few people credited with his creation. It was made in-house by the BBC. They made it, it's theirs. And there's a lot of episodes. There are some missing episodes from the early series. Have you heard the theme song? Do you know the famous theme song?

Yes. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do It was composed by Ron Grainer and created by Delia Derbyshire at the BBC Radiophonic workshop. And they still use the same. You keep almost having it. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, come on back. Ooh.

All right. I'm going to run you through just the first. I'm going to run you through the first, all the doctors that were at the first in the first bit. I'm not going to go into them. It's too the doctors that were at the first in the first bit. I'm not going to go into them. It's too much. Okay.

It will be too much. It will be too long. But the first doctor was William Hartnell, as Dave said. First doctor, 63 to 66. Character actor who presented the world with this sort of crotchety cranky old Doctor Who. Serious grump. And he took himself quite seriously as an actor. He did, he sort of tried to distance himself from Doctor Who after all.

He was like, I've had enough of this. Um, then Patrick Troughton, who was your favourite? That's right. Number two, big fan. 66 to 69. A little bit silly, plays little, uh, little recorder. Ooh. Yes.

That is very silly. Very whimsical. It was just really, yeah, it was real clown, it was very silly, playful. What changed from the first one? Yes, very changed. Like, yeah, he, and he would go on, uh, interview shows and be like, oh, like he was very cheeky in the media. And we met the sonic screwdriver, which is a device that the doctor can use.

It can essentially do anything except it doesn't work on wood. So it can't like unlock a wooden door. It's a bit of a running gag. That's a bit of fun. Bit of fun, bit of fun. It can't unlock a wooden door. It's a bit of a running gag. That's a bit of fun. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. It can do anything though. Yes.

Like could it be like sex toy? It could be sex toy. I reckon it is a sex toy. Oh my god. I think it's its primary. Yeah. Primary purpose. But a sex toy version of it has to exist in the world. Yeah.

100%. Oh yeah. You know on the TARDIS you always see the bit where they're travelling in but is there like back quarters? Is there like a bedroom and a kitchen and a toilet out there? There is. Yeah, and they've got like a costume room. There's all, I think there's meant to, there's reference to like there being a swimming pool

and stuff. Sometimes you get to see like deep down into the TARDIS. Yeah, that's pretty cool. But usually you're just in the main control room, which has a lot of controls because it's meant to be run by like six people apparently at the same time, but the doctor stole it. He killed them all.

He killed them all. John Pertwee was the third doctor from 70 to 74. Even more gadgets, very Inspector Gadget vibes, very eccentric, charming, more flamboyant outfits. He's the one in the purple velvet suit. He looks like Willy Wonka. Yes. Yeah. Willy Wonka, Sherlock Holmes. Yeah. Sherlock Holmes is a big influence on the doctor. And then we get to Tom Baker, the fourth doctor, a lot of people's favourite Doctor, 74 to 81. That's a long time. Yeah.

Is that why it's a lot of people's favourites as well? It's just a lot of people's first Doctor maybe? Yeah, maybe. He was also very silly and he had a big long scarf, very memorable. Yes, the scarf. Because yeah, I think, yeah, I just thought that was who the Doctor was for a long time. Yeah. I'm just looking at the photos now. You're about to get into a patch of four that I don't recognise at all.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. No, that's fair. And this is where we met K9, our little robot dog. Peter Davison, the fifth doctor, 82 to 84. He's the first mixed race doctor. A lot of people don't realise that. Yeah, he's like part, I think his father was Afro-Gyanees.

Oh, cool. But he looks like his mom and he's very, she's like as British, he looks as British as fish and chips. But yeah, anyway, after him, there was rumors where they were trying to cast the new Doctor Who and there was interviews with the creators and the writers being like, and is there a chat of a lady Doctor Who?

And they were like, yeah, maybe, we're thinking about it. So it's interesting to be like, for people now like you shouldn't be a woman and there shouldn't be a black man. It's like, well, you know, actually it's kind of been there the whole time. And you said before that it like doesn't even have a gender, the character. No. Yeah, exactly. Pretty funny to be hung up on that. People get mad. Odds are that at some point they're going to present slightly differently.

Yeah, well, that's the thing. You change your face all the time. Anyway, Colin Baker was the sixth Doctor from 84 to 86. Another Baker? Another Baker. Yeah. Another Baker. Um. Nepo baby. Nepo brother. Nepo doctor. And Colin Baker was actually the first actor to appear in another series of Doctor Who before becoming a different character. So this happens all the time. Colin Baker was a guard in a previous episode and shot Peter Davison's Doctor. And then he came back as, as the Doctor, as a different character. Did they use that as like a, that was you shooting yourself to save you from doing something?

No, just two separate characters. And it's like an infinite circle now. Yeah, there's just like, so David Tennant's doctor at some point, I think in the future says, like, oh, well, you know, sometimes I regenerate into faces I've seen before. Yeah. Right. That's a good line. Yeah.

But the new head of BBC, there was a new head of BBC, came over, took it over, had publicly said, I don't like Doctor Who, thought like, Matt, it's shit. Yeah. Asked it. And, you know, he wanted to save money and Britain absolutely shat itself. They were furious. It was on the front page of newspapers. People were not.

It was like it was World War Three, like they were not happy about it. People furious. They sort of threw Colin Baker under the bus a bit. The guy, the people at BBC, they're like, oh, no, well, it wasn't that we we love it as well. It was just we think he's the problem. So Colin Baker said that we should cancel it. Yeah, Colin Baker said I hate it. He said, oh, I hate it.

Colin Baker had a gun. Yeah. I didn't know what to do. Yeah. So they got rid of him and they got a new one in Sylvester McCoys, the seventh doctor, again, another clowny doctor. Great name. And then Paul McCann was the eighth doctor in a movie version. Is it Paul McCann from With Melanoi?

Yeah, I think so. Same guy. Yeah. Then companions. We had Sarah Jane Smith played by Elizabeth Slayden who's very- It's just she's important and K9, they come back. In the future Sarah Jane Smith even gets her own TV show. So this is one of the companions, probably one of the most loved, but the thing is he's

always just leaving him behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's quite sad. Anyway, Who Went Quiet? until a 1999 comic relief for Red Nose Day series of spoof specials, The Curse of the Fatal Death, which showcases the first television Doctor Who script by Steven Moffat, who's very important in the current Who universe, and the final performance by the longest serving Dalek vocal artist, Roy Skelton, who's like quite

famous for his exterminate voice, which is very nice. So that's not an effect, that it's just a man's voice saying, exterminate in that funny way. Yeah, I think so. That's my understanding. I always thought it was some sort of computer, that's an amazing voice. I imagine it's through a thing, but he does the voice. But it's not him saying, exterminate. No. Exterminate.

And then it just sort of puts a phaser on it. Exterminate. Exterminate. But in this series of specials, The Doctor is played by at different times Rowan Atkinson, Richard E. Grant, who actually went on to appear in more episodes of Doctor Who later on. Joanna Lumley. Also from With Mel and I, Richard E. Grant. Yeah, Richard E Grant who actually went on to appear in more episodes of Doctor Who later on. Joanna Lumley. Also from With Mel and I, Richard E Grant. Yeah, Richard E Grant.

Joanna Lumley from At Bath. She's so good. So good. Jim Broadbent. I love Jim Broadbent. And Hugh Grant who was offered the role of the Doctor again for the 2005 revival. Really? Yeah, and he says he regrets turning it down and like he saw how good the season was and

he was like, I shouldn't have like, I didn't realise it was going to be, cause it's a lot more, it's a lot darker. I thought it was going to suck. I thought it was shit. Jonathan Price plays the master in this as well, who's another great British character actor. So the master is the sexy friend of me. I feel like Hugh Grant might have been too big for the role.

2005. Too much baggy. It's like, say it's like the same if Rowan Atkinson plays. Everyone, yeah. Too much baggy, it's like the same if Rowan Atkinson plays. Everyone knows who you are already. Yeah, it's a lot. You're like bigger than the show. And it's a big gamble as well.

I mean, the show's been gone for ages as well. So it's like, the old show was very like, kind of janky, whimsical. It's still very whimsical, but it's very like a robot on a string is flying, kind of vibe. You know, it's old school TV. That's shit. No, it's not, it's old, it's old school TV. It's shit.

No, it's not. It's nice. It's nice. It looks shit. Shut up, man. If you just if you just flick through the channels, you're like, well, this sucks. That's all I'm saying. I'm just saying to look at it.

Everything looked like that at the time. Yeah. They all looked it wasn't like they had like Game of Thrones and then they changed the channel and it looked like 1963. Yeah, you're right. Everything about that, it just it just outlived all those other shows. It's still connected to that like janky look. Exactly. I'm pretty sure it was reruns when I was it was on when I was a kid as well.

So you were flicking from Game of Thrones. Yeah. When you were a weeb. OK, new era of who? 2005 onwards. It's 2005. Destiny's Child have just announced they are breaking up. Michelle Brazier is getting kicked out of science class for pretending to fate when

she doesn't get enough attention. Russell T Davies is the head writer at the helm of the new Doctor Who. What's a big year. He is a Welsh TV writer who wrote Queer as Folk. Do you guys know Queer as Folk? I know of it. What a name. Yeah. So he's always been left leaning and Queer never hid this in his writing. He really

injected this into Doctor Who which matched the Doctor's sense of social justice, making Doctor Who an inclusive TV show for the sci-fi inclined. I think this is what's really responsible for a lot of its success. He made the Doctor kind of pansexual a bit. Like he's always attracted to like, he was still a man at first, but very attracted to like different aliens and different, and you know, we also met characters like John Barrowman's Captain Jack Harkness,

who was a bisexual time traveling icon, much like myself. Yes. Who the doctor sort of alludes to having maybe hooked up with in the past. And they're still friends, which is actually that's actually a lesbian culture. Yeah, so very, very gay. That's nice. We had queer and culturally diverse representations of heads of state,

of countries like America and England. And this really made the series an exciting place to start in 2005 when we were like, hang on a second, should women vote? You don't remember to that. I remember that. So this is this new sexed up, queer friendly, who was a place for queer nerds to see themselves. So this new era of who introduces us to a series of new doctors and companions starting with the ninth doctor in 2005, Christopher Eccleston, not Hugh Grant. And if he was a dog, I think he would be a staffy but an older one. Yeah.

Who has lived on the street a bit. he was quite grumpy because he's, you know, recovering from his dark past. He's just had the time war. Okay. Oh, that happened in between. We didn't see that. Yeah, I think, yes. God, don't come for me, internet people.

I think, yes, it happened in between. Don't come for me, internet people. Don't come for me, internet people. I can't keep it all in my head. But he's also a time traveler, so it's always all happened, right? Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, it will happen, it will happen, it hasn't happened. Yeah, and I don't know like...

And it's happening. It's happening right now. Yeah, exactly. It's happening. Wibbly wobbly timey wimey is what they say. If you've watched The Good Place, it's Jeremy Barome. It's Jeremy Barome. Exactly.

Thank you so much. Time isn't linear. It's a bit of a squiggle. It's Jeremy Barome. It looks a little bit like Jeremy Barome written in cursive. And that's how time works. So sometimes stuff that's happening right now is actually happening in the past. Yeah. Jeremy Barome is a reference to wibbly wobbly timey wabby.

Okay. Fantastic. Great. Just so you know. After a long absence, Doctor Who returned in 2005, Christopher Eccleston as the leather jacketed ninth Doctor. His tenure focused on reintroducing the doctor and his companion, Rose Tyler played by Billy Piper. Yes. This is one I think I'd heard.

I heard of it again. Yeah. I heard of it because people were like, you look like Billy Piper. And I was like, oh great. I'll watch me. That's why I started watching this program. Yeah. But I got the opposite.

Yeah. They said you don't look like Billy Piper. So I didn't watch. So you didn't watch it. They said Billy Piper's in this, you don't look anything like her. Do you just watch stuff with people in it that look like you? Yeah. So what do you watch?

I watch Captain Snooze ads from the 90s. Yeah, Rod Pontock, yes. Yeah, that's pretty much it. I've been binging that lately. What about that show Good Tucker? Good Tucker. Yeah, Good Tucker. Good Tucker, you watched it?

Yeah, I watched shows with me on it, yes. Oh, that was you, okay. Wow, you like this on Netflix? Yeah, yeah, I watched Tucker. Yeah, Good Tucker. All the shows with me on it, yes. That was you, okay. Why, you like this on Netflix? Yeah, yeah, I watched one of the episodes of that. Just one of the episodes? Yeah. Did you watch the one I'm in?

I play a character called Michelle, so I assume Michelle watched it. I've watched, well, I'm in the same episode as you, I think. So of course she's on it. I also wrote on that television. This series, it sort of explores themes of war and loss and redemption. So he's very sad, he's real grump and he meets Rose Tyler. She lightens him up a bit. She doesn't let him get away with being a sad boy, which is good because being sad is

so annoying and they become really close. We meet Rose's boyfriend, Mickey and her mum, Jackie. They live in a council estate. So there's like, you know, those concrete classics in London. She just works in a shop, ordinary gal. And the doctor shows, you know, in this amazing new world, she sort of kicks some perspective up his ass, like she's like, we're in space, space, but can you stop moping? Do you know what I mean? And he learns to love the world again, which is really nice. That's a great point. We're in space, stop moping. Stop moping. And so he becomes a bit more

happy by the end of this. He just like gets over the seriousness of Siri's gone by, I think. It comes back a bit, but I think it really- she's responsible for a lot. Then the Daleks come back. No! Which is not fair in my personal opinion. How depressing would that be when you killed all your friends and family for one reason? Yeah.

And that one reason didn't even happen. It didn't, yeah, it didn't even work. It's really sad. Anyway, a lot happens. Rose accidentally looks into a time vortex. I don't know what that is. It's, I think it's like looking in the sun in an eclipse. It's probably, it's a bit wibbly wobbly.

It's wibbly wobbly. Yeah, tell me, Wyoming. But he, the doctor absorbs all the energy she absorbed, saving her, killing himself. And as he lays dying, we meet our new doctor, which is a real shock for Rose, because doctor number nine did not warn her about regeneration. He's not told her anything about it.

So she's very confused. But yeah, this is Russell T. Davies is the show runner for series one, as I said before. He's written some episodes. Steven Moffat, who wrote some of those specials with the funny actors, Mark Gatiss, who you might know, one of the great character actors himself. He's in a few episodes of Doctor Who as well. He plays Sherlock's brother, Mycroft, in the Benedict Cumberbatch Sherlock, which is great,

which he also created that show with Steven Moffat. So it's all like, it's kind of this golden age of British, clever person television, like a bit. It's a bit malady, but I like it. So now we have David Tennant, 10th doctor, a lot of people's favorite doctor, my favorite doctor. If he was a dog, he'd be a Labrador. Yes. Yes. David Tennant took over, known for his charismatic and emotional portrayal of the Doctor.

He again, we saw classic villains like the Daleks and now the Daleks can fly. So the whole thing right before, if a Dalek was coming, you could just sort of go upstairs. The biggest threatening universe, but you can go upstairs. That's so funny. Now they can fly. So that when the doctor killed all his friends, he didn't think about just building a second story. No, I guess not. No, I was killing everyone.

Yeah. It's easier. Yeah. Let's jump. Well, I think we don't know about the time war until later. Like I think it's all post it's wibbly wobbly. Do you know what I mean? Like we don't talk about it. Or maybe we do talk about it.

Sorry, sorry to bring it up. Yeah, sorry, please. We don't talk about that at the dinner table. Thank you very much. And there's also a Cyberman, which is like a Tin Man made for killing. Again, another robot. Google Cyberman. You'll love it. You'll love this. You'll love this. I want to look up Cybermen. Yeah, they look good. They're hot. I think they're sexy.

I would marry a cyber man if he was nice to me and he gave me heaps of compliments. Okay. Just looking at a cyber man. Yeah. Do you think? Actually. Oh.

Oh. Yeah, this is. I like this. Show me, show me, show me. Yeah, cyber man old. Cyber man old? Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, they're yeah, they look a bit different now, but. Yeah, that's the ones I remember from the Five Doctors movie.

And that's the one I want to marry. And they're funny. Yeah, they're funny. That's more of the stuff as a kid, I would've been like, this sucks. Watching it, like, that's fun as a school play in grade five. But that's what TV was. Everyone was so scared of the Daleks in the early years. There was like a, people started saying, like watching from behind the couch.

Does that became a phrase, like watching from behind the couch, because people were afraid of Dr. Who. They would like watch. They're like, oh, I can't, I gotta look. Kids though, not adults, I'm imagining. I imagine children. They were scared of that. They were scared of that. I've looked up a Dal look. Like kids though, not adults I'm imagining. I imagine children. They were scared of that. They were scared of that.

I've looked up a dialect. It's very spooky. That's not scary. That looks like a big salt and pepper shaker. Yeah. Yeah, that's so much salt. That could kill you. Sodium is a problem.

But what if you had that much pepper? Oh, yuck. Oh, it can get real sneezey. I think that's fine. That's too much pepper. I think that's too much pepper. I think there is an amount of pepper that's too much. Okay.

I, you know, I try not to say that. It hasn't been discovered yet, but. Yeah, but I'm sure there's a finer amount. So we also saw the enemy of the Time Lord who somehow survived the antagonist for the Doctor's life, the Master. Another Time Lord, but an evil one. And is that a self appointed name? Yes, so they pick their names.

That is embarrassing. It is embarrassing. There's a whole thing of like, what's your real name? And like, no one really knows what the doctor's real name is. And the doctor shows Doctor Who. Yes, because people are always like, he's like, I'm the doctor. And people are like, Doctor Who? Ah, the master who? Yeah, Master Who.

But the master can also regenerate and has had various genders and faces. It's all very sexy. And it's like, honestly, it's like, are they going to kill each other? Are they going to kiss? Like, that's my personal opinion. Have they ever kissed? AKA Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Exactly.

Are they going to kill each other? Are they in love? We don't know. Yeah, I think it's very horny. We're inside of this and we don't know. We don't know? Mm-hmm. That's what makes it exciting is the bit where you don't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. As soon as you know you're going to kiss it, it's not the same. Yeah, then I'll be like, ugh, podcast over. So we have Rose Tyler again, Billy Piper, she's the companion. She gets used to his new face really quickly and his new jacket. Because David Tennant's quite pretty. Yeah, so she's like, oh, this is fine. This is okay. Why do they change a dress?

Like, they change outfit. Just having a look at them all, they've all got a distinctive look. Yeah, they have a distinct outfit. Except our current doctor who has a different outfit on all the time. Oh, but that's just for them, right? Just... They get to choose. Yeah, they work with the team.

Because it makes no sense that the actual doctor would be like, them, right? Just they get to choose. Yeah. They work with the team. That the actual doctor would be like, Oh, now I've got a new face. I'm going to go for a new wardrobe. Cause they sort of have a new personality as well. And they're discovering themselves. They're going like, Oh, I think I, I think I like jazz. I mean, I was a winter, but I think I'm in autumn now. Exactly. You know, I'm just looking at people. David Tennant is definitely in Autumn. David Tennant and one of the others are both in that show about crime.

Broadchurch. Broadchurch. On a beach, I was going to say. But did you want me to talk about Broadchurch? As a kid, it's dead. Yeah, I found it pretty full on as a kid. It's pretty full on. As a kid, I was like, oh, this is a bit, this is, this sucks. As a kid. No, I thought it was pretty good though, but yeah, if you want to talk about that, that'd be fantastic. I don't know. Olivia Colman's there. I'm loving

this. Olivia Colman's great. People love Doctor Who, Matt. People like it. I love it. I like it. Let me convince you. I'm in. Let me tell you. OK, all right. I'm loving this. OK, so there was sort of, it's very romantic between Rose and the Doctor and everyone wants them to get together, even though Rose has a boyfriend called Mickey. But it's sort of like who cares about Mickey because this is. Poor Mickey.

Well, he does a lot like he redeems himself and he does really great stuff and he does all these like gallant acts, saves the world a bunch. And so we're like, we love you, Mickey. But also at the same time, like it's David Tennant. Do you know? I mean, it's David. I'm all. He's a model and he's Scottish.

What have you got? Yeah. What have you got? I say keeps his Scottish accent and he doesn't, but he uses it in one episode. Okay. But they do have different accents. So like Christopher Eccleston has a Northern accent and Billy Piper's like, well, if you're an alien, why do you have an, why do you sound Northern?

And she's like, lots of places have a North. It's just very cheeky. Yeah. Lots of places have a North. It's really funny. I do like that. Cause that's actually, it's so funny cause that's actually true. Yeah.

Like Australia, we have a North. We have a North. We're in the South right now. Yeah. That's weird. Isn't that crazy? We're in the deep South. Almost everything is North to us.

That's true. We're in the South country. Yeah. Are we not? Yeah. We're in the deep south. Almost everything is north to us. That's true. We're in the south country. In the deep south. Yeah, yeah. Hmm. Are we not? Yeah. We're pretty deep.

Yeah. I'm going to keep doing the report. Yeah, okay. Okay. So the Doctor and Rose have lots of adventures. They go back in time. They go to Scotland and this is where he uses his real accent and they meet Queen Victoria. And this episode is about werewolves.

I don't know, have you ever heard the rumor that the British royal family are werewolves? This is apparently a thing. The rumor. Yeah, it's like a folklore, like, oh, they're all werewolves. Because I think some of them. Hey, have you heard? All right, I've been boyed.

Okay, and I don't respect it. Were you laughing about rumour? Because it's like, well that's not a rumour. Yeah, it's true. Everyone knows. Fact. Yeah, come on. Anyway, so this episode is I think just sort of a play on that.

She gets bitten by a werewolf and she's like, and they're at a place called the Torchwood Estate, which is important. And she's like, I don't like this. I don't like this alien stuff. I don't like this doctor stuff. This is not on. I'm going gonna set up a thing called Torchwood after this castle where I got beat by a werewolf, clearly. And that goes on to be Torchwood,

which is like a whole new spin-off TV show. We also see them a lot in this thing. And Torchwood is like horny Doctor Who. So like Torchwood, she sets it up to protect Britain from aliens essentially. But the TV show Torchwood, which is sort of stars John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness, the bisexual travelling, time travelling icon who cannot die, goes on to be a big player in the Who-niverse. They're like sort of allies for the modern day Doctor, but they sometimes see things

in different ways because they're a bit governmenty. Torchwood uses guns, the Doctor doesn't use guns. The Doctor's weapon of choice is actually brains and reason. Oh, I love that. And his screwdriver. Love that. And the sonic screwdriver that can not unlock a wooden door. Torchwood became a spin-off series, as I said.

It's very sexy. It's set in Cardiff. They swear. They do all the things that the family friendly Doctor Who cannot do. So the first episode is about an alien that, like, takes over people, makes them kill other people by fucking. It's super horny. It's really, really horny.

That's the first episode, did you say? I think it's the pilot, yeah. Right, Matt, are your ears pricking up here? I'm listening. Yeah, people love Torchwood. I was in Cardiff recently and, like, there's like Torchwood headquarters is meant to be at this place which was near the place I was performing. So I got my photo taken there with Tim and I was like, oh that's from Doctor Who, that's from Doctor Who, that's from Torchwood.

Tim was like, oh my god. And then we saw like a wall that was like full of photos of someone who had died, like obviously tribute says flowers and stuff. And I was like, oh what's that? That's oh my god, that's so sad. Someone's died. And Tim was like, oh it's probably fucking Doctor Who. And I was like, oh no actually that is Doctor That's Oh my God. That's so sad. Someone's died. And Tim was like, Oh, it's probably fucking Doctor Who. And I was like, Oh no, actually that is Doctor Who. That's the Antos. Well, that's a character from Torchwood. Yeah. And there's like just a whole wall where like fans have written letters to this character, but it was, he was very important to people, I think, cause he was like queer and young queer kids have been like, you changed my life. And it's very nice. It means a lot to people. Torchwood over?

I guess you'll talk about that at some point. You can watch Torchwood. I can't talk about Torchwood, it's too much. Is Torchwood- I looked up Four Seasons. That is Doctor Who anagrammed or whatever, right? And is that a coincidence? Did you do that in your brain?

No, I can't remember if I knew that or if it just, I don't know, but it just looked- Yeah, it is, it's an anagram of Doctor Who. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and that's just coincidence in universe. It's coincidence. Yeah, it's coincidence. Well, everything's.

Everything happens for a reason. Yeah. You know, that's why they're at the Torchwood estate. Yeah. Yeah, it makes sense. I don't know. I didn't. But I'm sure I've heard that that show is good. I didn't know it was all about fucking people to death.

That's a Mike and Dave sort of show, but. Yeah. Port Bridgerton. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, there's also like a lot of people turn up in this. We see Giles from Buffy and Stuart Head.

Oh, good on him. He's in an episode where they go back to school. It's called School Reunion. They go back to school and the Rose and the doctor go undercover. The doctor is a teacher and Rose is like this lunch lady and the teachers are secretly bats and they are led by Giles from Buffy and they are trying to, they're feeding all the kids. What? They're feeding, yeah, all the, every single plot line is like this. You have to just go there. You have to lean in. You have to lean in. Cause it's

just, it that's, this is just how it is. You have to go, okay, teachers and bats. There's an episode where like people are taking this new weight loss drug and the people's fat is like melting off them in these tiny little cute things and they walk away, they're like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, and they're just like wandering and it's really cute.

They're called adipose. It's just the way it is. Very whimsical. I love that. I love that. I hope that was in one of the 70s versions. No, it's not. Just on a string. But yeah, no, it's very sweet.

I'm actually, I am being, because I never watched X-Files until Dave got me into it a few years ago. Now I really like that. It seems like it's just each episode's about some nonsense. It's just kind of a bit of a mystery and they're trying to figure it out. And then they, yeah, I'd probably like it. Yeah, that's, yeah, I think so.

I think you would like it, but you just gotta, you gotta lean in. I just probably can't watch those old episodes. No, I can't watch those old episodes. Even I can't. I think you had to have like watched them growing up. Where did you kind of start? With Tenet?

I started with Tenet. I started when I was like 15, my best friend at the time, really loved Doctor Who. And I was interested in having sex with that man. And I think we just started. Who, Doctor Who or the friend? The friend. The friend. We've all watched, consumed some form of bad media I think we just started. Who, Doctor Who or The Friend? The Friend. The Friend.

We've all watched, consumed some form of bad media because of somebody we wanted to have sex with. Exactly. And then I started liking it. Yeah, Dave got me into the X-Files. And it worked out alright. I watched the Godfather trilogy as an example. Yeah, see.

Really? Did that work? Yeah. Hell yeah. It an example. Yeah, see. Really? Did that work? Yeah. Hell yeah. It always works. It always works. Full proof plan. If you want to hook up with someone, watch their favourite media.

We used to have a rule in my house, in my share house in my early twenties, where if someone brought someone home, there was five of us that lived there, we're all very good friends and if someone brought someone home, you weren't allowed to just take them to your room and sleep with them because we would all follow you into the room and go, what are you guys doing? You had to in front of all of us. Like look at the, look at your watch, not have a watch on, look at your wrist that didn't have a watch on it, go, oh, it's late. Do you want to come and watch Cruel Intentions with me?

And we would all let you leave. That was the only way that we would let you leave and go to your room. Yeah, that's beautiful. I love it. Like waiting for them and if they don't do it, you're like, fantastic. Here we all go then. What are you guys doing? And then the partner's like, oh, actually I watched that last week. I'm all good. Yeah. It still happens. No one's ever said no to going to a bedroom to watch Cruel Intentions. Yeah. There's no watching Cruel Intentions happening. No, no, no, it's not even a real movie.

But this episode with Buffy, with Giles from Buffy also brings back Sarah Jane Smith, who's one of the old companions and the dog K9, who she's been hanging out with. And it brings up a lot of feelings for the Doctor. This is the first time where the Doctor's confronted by an old companion and she's like, I waited for you. And it's the same actor? Same actor. Wow? Same actor. Wow. Same actor.

30 plus years later or something. Yeah. Yeah. And she's like, I waited for you. And she's but she's been doing her own investigation. She's been and he's like so impressed by her. And Rose is like, who the fuck is this? That is really classic. But then they become friends.

And Rose realizes like, oh, right. He one day will, you know, I'm not the first one. But is any did anyone watch Cruel Intentions with the Doctor or? I reckon both of them have watched Cruel Intentions with the Doctor. That's my personal opinion. OK. Anyways, a big spoiler here, big spoiler here. But at the end of this,

Rose Tyler gets trapped in another world because of a Cybermen related incident. And the Doctor is only just learning to love again after his life of heartache and he never quite makes it. And he tries to say that he loves it. There's this projection, like she gets stuck in a different parallel universe and he can send a projection to her and he's got gearing up to say, I love you. And he says, Rose Tyler. And then, Oh, that's cruel. It's really sad. And she's crying on the beach and it's very heartbreaking, very, very sad.

Is that when Billy Pop, does she have another show to go to? I assume. Secret life of a call girl. Call girl, is that what happened? Yeah, I assume. So in season three of David Tennant, we meet Martha Jones, played by Afrima Aigerman, another actor, again,

who had also appeared in Doctor Who previously. She was in the Cybermen episode, she was like there, and then they were like, oh yeah, my cousin was in all of that. Like they just do this. I don't know why they do this. Which way? I like it.

They test you. I'm rewatching Unbreakable Commish Meet at the moment, and Tina Fey plays two different characters in that series. In different seasons, different hairstyles, but that's it. It's just Tina Fey twice. I think that's good. And I'm like, yeah, do this more, I reckon. Do it but that's it. It's just Tina Fey twice. I think it's good. And I'm like, yeah, do this more, I reckon. Do it.

It's nice. It's very nice. Or like on Dick Van Dyke as Diagnosis of Murder when his son Shane, sorry, grandson Shane was in nine separate episodes as nine different characters. Yeah. Oh, I love that. That's beautiful. But yeah.

I love it. I hate it when people say, you know, how does that even possible? Or you know, when people say, oh, how can someone in the show in friends, they like watching Die Hard and then Bruce Willis is in it. That's not Bruce Willis. Yeah, that's right. He's acting. Yes.

It's not you haven't found a plot hole. Yeah, that's like a classic, why would someone, an adult, is wearing a t-shirt that says, genius at work? Exactly, it's just like that. I hope someone got fired for that blunder. I'm looking at these masters, by the way. Oh, the masters. And they had some wild looks.

Yeah, they've had some absolute wild, are you looking at the old ones? Yeah, a lot of these. So there's four at the masters. And they had some wild looks. Yeah, they've had some absolute wild- Are you looking at the old ones? Oh, yeah. A lot of these- So those four at the bottom, they're the new ones. Yeah, okay. They're the new doctors. Yeah, I know her from Stuff. She's great. He's really good.

He's from Stuff. Yeah, he's from Stuff. Yeah, he's a lot of- This would be a good point. A lot of- I'm pointing at her in front of you, can't see. Oh, she's good. He's from Stuff.

He's from Stuff, isn't he? I've seen him in Stuff. I've seen him in Stuff. Yeah, I reckon that's a working actor. He was Derek Jacoby and she was Michelle Gomez. That's their real names? Yes. Yes.

I reckon I know Michelle Gomez from that show with Brandon Fraser where he plays a robot man. Doom Patrol? Doom Patrol, yeah. She's from Doom Patrol. Okay. Okay. Well, that's beautiful.

We do get the Master again in this season. We meet the Master. There's some rhinos on Mars. Yep. There's some stuff that happens, you know. Sonar more. But the Master this time is played by John Sim. He's good fun.

He's really great. He's very, again, I reckon, gonna wants to fuck the doctor, but hates the doctor, wants to end the world. His theme song is the, here come the drums, here come the drums, baby, baby, baby, that's his song. It's like, what? That rules.

Why does he look like a- Voodoo child. He's a wrestler sort of thing when he comes out. Well, he's like, he has this like, like a, like a, like a drum that's like always, but it's sent him mad because he looked into again, I don't know, the Time Vortex, something. He has this drum beat and it drives him mad. And it's the sound of these drums and he's always like, this drumming, this drumming is kind of like classic, you know, TV psychopath vibe.

And then, yeah, so then they have, he comes on the drums have the drums on the drums when he's taken over the world. It's really fun. Very, very funny. Yes. But we also have an episode where there is not not really any doctor that is very, very small amount of doctor. And the main bulk of the episode is played by a character that is played by Carrie Mulligan. Ah, which is called blink. And it's a really like iconic episode where the most iconic episodes that's by a character that is played by Carrie Mulligan. Ah, yeah. It's called Blink. And it's a really like iconic episode. One of the most iconic episodes that's about the weeping angels, which are genuinely very scary.

That one was terrifying. Yeah. I still remember that one. Yeah, they're like they're these stone, like angel statues, like gargoyles. And they they cover their eyes. But if you look away from them, they will undo their eye and they can see you and they get closer to you. If you look away from them, they get closer to you. If they touch you, they displace you in time so they can send you back to whenever.

That sounds like a playground game. Yeah, totally. It's from Mr. Wolf. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. 40-40 out. What was the 40-40 game?

I did 40-40. I don't know what 40-40 is. I think it 40-40 game? I did 40-40 out. I don't know what 40-40 is. I think it was like, if you got seen, you were out. No, 40-40 was different, I thought. I can't remember. But yeah, it's What's the Time Mr Wolf? For sure. Yeah, What's the Time Mr Wolf?

Yeah, but you can't look. You can't look away from them. Wow, that is scary. Yeah, so it's a bit spooky and Karrie Mulligan's there and the doctor's trying to communicate. I don't recognise Kari Mulligan. What's she from? You don't recognise Kari Mulligan? Wait, is this the right one? Yes! Yeah, from Promising Young Woman, The Great Gatsby, from one of the most successful actors of our time.

You don't recognise Kari Mulligan? From Blink, the episode of Doctor Who? Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's in Blink. She's in that one. Married to that guy from Mumford and Sons. Yes, Marcus Mumford. Mmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A great actor. Yeah, she's a great actor. And she really carries this episode. It's really incredible. It's very spooky. I would actually watch this episode first. She's in Pride and Prejudice. Oh yeah.

She's in Hates Itself. She's one of the sisters. I just haven't seen any of these things. That's okay. I've heard there are a lot of good things there inside Lulun Davis. Yeah. Lulun. Inside Lulun.

I just have, for whatever reason, not seen any of these things. Do you think that listeners like listening to you just have a look through people's IMDB? I assume that- I'm glad the cameras are rolling for you. I'm pretty sure this will get edited out. I reckon it absolutely doesn't. You assume a lot gets edited out that doesn't. Yeah, I often hear you on the podcast say this will be gone and it's always in.

Please edit this out. I don't think any tedious parts don't get out, only potentially defamatory stuff gets edited out. Edit out the tedious bits for sure. Look at the defamation. The defamation's funny enough. It's exciting. That gets likes, that gets likes.

That gets on news.com.au. That gets on news.com.au. We've basically just given you some more movies to watch because yeah, Caramel again's really great. I'll stop asking about actors if they're not gonna fucking edit it out. Why would you ask about them? Well, for interest and you see where it goes.

I can send you the doc. I might need to take over editing again. Anyway, so we're with Martha Jones. She's our current companion. She leaves because she's in love with the doctor. He can't love her back. He definitely loves Billy Piper still. She's like, all right, I'm out. She joins Unit, which is like a torch-woodie fighting aliens-y thing. They got guns. I feel like that's good. We're aiming for another spinoff there. Well, yeah, we had, she comes, she sort of comes back and forth a bit. We see Unit all the time. Unit in capitals. And then we meet the new companion, which is Donna

Noble played by Catherine Tate. And this is one of my favorite eras of Doctor Who. Katherine Tate. Do we know Katherine Tate? Do you want me to get her IMD? No, I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. Correct. She's great. I've met Katherine Tate and she was great. She was really nice to me. She's really fucking funny. And they have one of my favorite episodes where they go to Pompeii. I really like the historic episodes. So they go to Pompeii. I really like the historic episodes. So they go to Pompeii, it's called Fires of Pompeii. She reminds the doctor of who they are because he's like, listen, we can't stop Pompeii.

It's a fixed point in time. We can't be stopping Pompeii. It's a natural disaster. And she's like, they're all going to die. Fuck you, do something. She's really passionate. She's really fun. And she does not love him. She does not want to fuck him. She thinks he's scrawny. It's just really fun. Like they're really well matched. Is it David Tennant?

It's David Tennant. So it's unrealistic that anyone wouldn't want to fuck him, but it's just great. She does such a great job of writing. Yeah. But yeah, it's really nice. So there are a lot of highlights in this era. Again, in the fires of Pompeii, we also meet Peter Capaldi, who goes on to be a doctor later, but at this point he's just like a dude from Pompeii, whose daughter played by Karen Gillan, who would go on to become Amy Pond, one of the doctor's companions in the next season. But as a separate character? As a separate character.

Again, both of these. Wow, love it. So yeah, Peter Capaldi plays the father of Karen Gillan Karen Gillan's like in this weird sort of sect that like they consume the vapors of the fires of Pompeii and it turns out to be an alien thing there's a lot of rewriting history like going back and like oh that was actually because of blah blah blah which I really enjoy and love there's a lot of that and yeah then Karen Gillan goes on to to play Amy Pond a completely different character and Peter Capaldi goes on to play Amy Pond, a completely different character,

and Peter Capaldi goes on to play the Doctor, number 12, which is really interesting. Wow. Yeah, very cool. Season four, episode five is a big episode because the Doctor's, it's called the Doctor's Daughter. The Doctor's genetic material is used to create this like militarized, yeah, it's not cum. Okay, it's gotta be cum. It's gotta be.

We're all thinking that his genetic material. Yeah, it's not cum. Okay, it's got to be cum. We're all thinking that his genetic material is used. It doesn't say cum. I didn't say cum. How did he supply it? He came, but it wasn't cum that came out. How many wangs does he have? Four. Two hearts, four wangs.

Two hearts, four wangs. Use them in that ratio. Yeah. Yeah, most people have twice as many wangs as hearts they have, is that right? That's right. Yeah, that's the thing. It's always there. Anyways, they create like a daughter.

Essentially these like people without his permission make him a daughter who is played by David Tennant's now wife, Georgia Tennant. And she's also the daughter of Peter Davidson, the fifth, the fifth doctor. That's right. I knew he had married the daughter of a previous doctor. Yeah, so she's the doctor's daughter, but she's actually the doctor's daughter. And David turned to like always like he's so doctor, like his whole life, he grew up wanting to be an actor so he could play the doctor.

And now he's married to Peter Davidson's daughter. And is that why he's in like 50 more series than everyone else? Because he's like, I love this. He's like, let me have this. I love this. They keep going back! So he loves it. Wow that's I didn't know that is for me a fun fact because I didn't know it. I'm actually in charge of fun facts so sorry Jess I didn't check in with you about that. It is a fun fact. It's a fun fact! I think it's a sweet fact. It's sweet I think it's really nice it's real dream come true-y. Yeah I like it. Um is that where they met? He met his wife? It's real dream come true. Yeah, I like it We all want to marry our hero's daughters, I want to marry David Souchet's daughter, of course

I want to marry the rock Dwayne Johnson's daughter. That's not true. I don't want that. I'm sure she's a child actually Yeah, yeah, well I guess yeah, I could just marry the Rock. Yeah, you could do that. I could just do that. I'll figure it out. I'll decide. Would you change your name? To Michelle Rock. The Rock. Dwayne Johnson. Michelle the Rock.

Michelle the Rock, Dwayne Johnson. Yeah. Matthew has a Google. What did you Google? Catherine Souchet. David Souchet's daughter, okay. What year was she born there? 83, a good year.

Oh, that's fine, that's okay. That's absolutely fair. That's completely fine. That's a great year. That's a good year. All right born there? 83. A good year. That's fine. That's okay. That's absolutely fair. That's fantastic. That's a great year. That's a good year. All right.

There you go. Should we call your wife now? She is my second wife. Catherine Suchet. That's so nice. Your second wife for your second wang. Exactly. I should be allowed a second wife.

A wife for every wang. A gentleman is allowed one wife per wang. You should take her name. David Soushey. Oh my god. Dream come true. Dream come true. I'm David Soushey.

But then she's married somebody with the same name as her dad. Yeah. And that would feel a bit weird. I wouldn't like being married to a John. Do we know how many Johns around? You never meet a John, do you? We can change David Souche's name. To?

John. John. John. John Perkins. John Perkins. Or Warnocky Chouche. Maybe he'll take your last name. Yes.

That should be the new law. New rule as a thumb that... As a thumb. New rule as a thumb. New rule as a thumb. As a... Speaking as a thumb. New rule.

I've got two of them so I can speak. Wait, does that mean something? As a thumb. Rule of thumb. Speaking as a thumb, new rule. I've got two of them so I can speak. Wait, does that mean something? As a thumb? Rule of thumb. Rule of thumb. As a thumb. It took me too long to put together. I was like, where's he put a thumb up from? I missed the essential words of rule of.

But for now I'm just going to say it as a thumb. I was picturing YouTube little YouTube pictures. Thumbnails? Yeah. Our brains all went to different places and that's exciting. I mean, it was my bad. I basically did that. You did.

Nobody took blame. We didn't go to that different of a place. No, Matt looked disappointed in himself like, I can't believe I thought thumbnail. Yeah, it was embarrassing. Anyway, they did all that out. Okay, so we, this is the end for Tenant. We're getting towards the end for Tenant. But anyway, we're going to go back to the end of the show.

We're going to go back to the end of the show. We're going to go back to the end of the show. We're going to go back to the end of the show. We're going to go back to the end of the show. We're going to go back to the end of the show. We're going to go back to the end of the show. We're going to go back to the end of the show. We're going to go back to the end of the show. Anyway, I edit all that out. OK, so we this is the end for Tenant. We're getting towards the end for Tenant, but everyone comes back because he's their favourite and they fucking love him. So like all the Torchwood cast are there. It's like a crossover episode.

Sarah Jane Smith is back. Also, spoiler alert, Rose Tyler returns. She gets back from the beach in Cardiff where she's been shunted to. That's awkward when all your exes turn up in the same room and you're like, oh. Is that happening to you? Often Dave? Yeah, they're all there, all 500 of them. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Relax, I've got two wanks going. There's plenty of wanks for everybody. Plenty of thumb for everyone. Was this peaking in popularity as well? This was huge. This would have been enormous. Yeah.

For the country of Britain, Great Britain, England. But OK, so like we've still got Donna Noble. It's all very it's all happening. Rose and the doctor, they see each other. She's run into him and he gets shot by a Dalek. It is. No! You're kidding.

She's cradling him, but he like, so Captain Jack Harkness from Torchwood has this weird hand. The doctor is able to like put the energy into the hand and then Donna Noble accidentally touches the hand and she becomes the doctor. Clawed. She becomes like the doctor, sort of. She she's still her they call her the doctor Donna, which is very clear.

I like that. But her human mind is too small to cope with all the information and all the things. And so she's like gonna die unless the doctor erases her entire memory of him. Again, very, very sad, but at least she lives and she will come back. So they go, do you know what she can can never, as long as she can never remember me. So he knows her family and stuff. She has this really lovely old granddad who loves looking at the stars. And they're like, all right, you guys can remember me, but she cannot remember me.

Oh, that's really sad. And she just has an ordinary life and you see her and she's always like, I feel like I'm forgetting something. I feel like I'm meant for more. It's really sad. Um, wow. It's really sad. Wow. We also meet Dr. River Song in this series who is played by Alex Kingston.

She's this mysterious woman. She's a great match for the doctor intellectually. And she's like acting like they fucked a bunch. She knows him, but she's like, oh, we haven't met yet on this timeline. But she has a little book that's like her diary and she won't let him read it cause she keeps being like,

oh, spoilers and that's flirting. And I love her. So we're like, oh, who's's flirting and I love her. Okay. So we're like, oh, who's this woman? And she goes on to be this fun kind of character. And then we have our 11th doctor, Matt Smith from 2010 to 2013. If he was a dog, he'd be a Y Marina, I think. Okay.

26, he's the youngest doctor. Ah, very young. A lot of people were like, too young. Like a lot of people weren't sure about it, but I liked it because I am young. He'll always be Prince Philip to me. Is that that guy? I don't know if he's Prince Philip, but he's definitely in the program.

No. Well, okay, who will always be? He is Prince Philip. He is, he is, he is. He's married to Queen Elizabeth II. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll always be Prince Philip to me. Thank you so much, that means a lot.

Who's the nonce? Ah, Prince Andrew. Prince Andrew, allegedly. You'll always be Prince Philip to me. Thank you so much. Which one is, who's the nonce? Allegedly. Prince Andrew. Is it even? You'll always be Prince Andrew to me. Hang on. Well, I thought that you were saying Prince Andrew. Just because I don't sweat. I don't sweat.

Is that him as well? Yeah, allegedly. He's a handsome, handsome young fellow. He's a handsome young fellow. Good hair. Good bow tie. Good queen. Good bow tie. So, sales of bow ties shot through the roof in the UK when he became the doctor because

he's one of his first lines is like, I don't wear a bow tie. Bow ties are cool. And then a lot of people bought bow ties. Doctor who said it? He said it. Doctor who said it? It's cool. Doctor who said I want a bow tie?

That is so cute. Humans are so funny sometimes. We really are. My boyfriend at the time started wearing a bow tie. Of course. Yeah. Humans are so funny sometimes. We really are. My boyfriend at the time started wearing bow tie. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Is it Tim?

Yeah, it's always been Tim. I don't, I call him Tim. He regenerates. He regenerates, but yeah, it's always Tim. It's always Tim. It's always Tim. He looks different. The Tim.

Sounds different, different family, different, he wants to be called by a different name, but it's always Tim. It's always Tim. Similar. Boyfriends are called Tim. That's what I say to everyone. Yeah. So they say, oh, my boyfriend, you know, I'm like, just say Tim.

Just say Tim. I know what you mean. I'll get it. We know who you mean. We know who you're talking about. We're all talking about Tim. So quick summary, Matt became the 11th Doctor, youthful energy, quirky demeanor, a fun vibe. And he introduced companions Amy Pond, played by Karen Gillan, who is my friend.

Yeah. Who is really lovely. She's really great. She's very funny and she's also kind of like sexy. We meet her and she's kind of sexy. She wears like a big, like a big red jumper and this tiny little black skirt. And we're all like, oh my God, who's this? And she's kind of confident and she doesn't really need the doctor, which is very fun.

And then she's got a boyfriend called Rory Williams. She's from Jumanji. She's from Jumanji and the MCU. Yep. Who is she in the MCU? Nebula. Nebula. Oh, yeah, she's great. Yeah. Yeah, she's very good actor. She's lovely person. She's in Doctor Who as well. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's like what started her career in terms of like, really elevated her, I guess. I saw a video the other day on TikTok or Instagram of an interview of her talking about exactly that thing. It was like the first sort of big proper job she got. Yeah. Yeah. She's really funny.

She's really, she's a great. I think I saw a clip of her on one of the American talk shows being very funny. Yeah, she's funny. She's married to a comedian, she's a funny girl. Rory Williams played by Arthur Darville, another sort of character actor from the UK and later Clara Oswald played by Jenna Coleman, who is very pretty and made me get a fringe when I really didn't need to get a fringe. Yeah.

Did she say fringes are cool? She said fringes are cool and fringe sales shot through the roof. Anyway we find out more about Dr. Riversong. That's really funny. That really tickled that. That was good. You like that? You kind of like that.

Fringe sales. One fringe please. Oh actually speaking of fringe, aren't you going to one soon? I'm going to Edinburgh Fringe. Yeah. Yeah. Edinburgh Fringe sales. One Fringe please. Oh actually, speaking of Fringe, aren't you going to one soon? I'm going to Edinburgh Fringe.

Yeah, yeah, Edinburgh Fringe. And that's true, like people might be listening to this in 2024 when it comes out, but this plug is evergreen. Because I'm always going to Fringe. There'll always be another one. There's always another one. There's always a text message from me going, guys, can I come on the podcast? I'm going to promote Edinburgh Fringe and I'm going to book coming out. What's your book? It's called My Brother's Ashes are in a Sandwich Bag.

You can pre-order it. Where is it? It's already out pre-sold a really fancy book that I actually realised halfway through the sentence I shouldn't have said, but it's good. It's going well. The Bible? Yeah, the Bible. I just want to say I don't want God to feel bad because, like, he wrote that book, like, heaps of people have already read it.

Like I think, but my book is maybe just like, nobody's read it yet. Nobody's read it yet. It's new, it's fresh, it's exciting, it's different commandments. You know, what are your 10? My 10? Yeah. Get a dog. Have a sandwich.

Kiss each other. Get a dog. Yep. Have a sandwich. Kiss each other. We're trying. Yeah. They gotta buy the book to get the others. You gotta buy the book. Yeah, that's a story. That's a taste. That's a good sample.

That's a little taste. When will it be out? September. But you can pre-order it currently. Fantastic. And if you pre-order it, it's really good. If you go into a shop, if you go into like your Dimmick's, your readings,

you go into that shop, you say, do you have Michelle Brazier's book? When does that come out? And they, it's really good. If you go into a shop, if you go into like, your DIMX, your readings, you go into that shop, you say, do you have Michelle Brazier's book? When does that come out? And they say it comes out September. You say, can I order that? That's the best thing you can do. If you walk in there and you ask them, that's the best gift you can give me.

Second best thing you can do is you can order it online. Third best thing you can do is go into the shop and say, do you have Michelle Brazier's book? And they say no. And you say, okay, can you let me know when it's in and you don't have to buy it. That's good. That's good. Yeah. We just get them to order a bunch. There are three more of your commandments.

We'll just make it clear that they want it. Yeah. Buy the book. Tell people you want the book. But yeah, that's the best way to support the book if you want to do that. That's the best way. But yeah, we get to know River Song. She ends up being Amy Pond's daughter somehow. Timey wimey. Amy Pond and Rory's daughter, something, something. I should re-watch that series, but I'm unable to re-watch it now

because I am friends with Karen, and so it's weird. Yeah, you can't watch anything your friends are in. No, don't disappoint your friends. I've never consumed any of your work. Yeah, and don't. I don't. Don't look at it. I come to consumed any of your work. Yeah, and don't. I don't. Don't look at it. I come to your live shows sometimes just so like,

you know that I'm there and I just sit with my eyes covered. I'm like, this is so embarrassing. Thank you, because I always think, oh Jess is here, cringe. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, I hate it. Disgusting. Steven Moffat took over as show runner during this period.

Vincent and the Doctor, beautiful episode. Oh yeah, I haven't seen that whole episode but that clip has come up on Facebook. So many times. And it's like 700 million views or something. Yeah, it's really nice. It's lovely but it's also brutal because you're like, oh, that would have been nice, wouldn't it?

Yeah. It's true. He died not knowing. Not knowing. Well, that's the whole thing. So he's like, in that episode, he's plagued by like an invisible monster because they were like, we don't want to have aliens in this.

And they were like, it's tough Who, you have to have aliens. And they were like, fine. So they gave him a battling invisible demons kind of thing. And it's very, really beautiful and well-handled and nice. And he doesn't believe in himself and feels really shitty. And everyone's mean to him. And then the doctor takes him to the future, to the Doctor Who, to the Doctor Who museum.

And says, look how famous I am. Doesn't that make you feel better? To the Vincent van Gogh museum. And it's like, look at all these people looking at all your artwork. It's crazy that he wouldn't have been appreciated in his time. Look at the paintings, like, I don't understand how they were quite different. And I don't understand how that would have gone unnoticed. That happened to so many.

Yeah, true people. What's happening to me now? When you die, our podcast is gonna really take off. Number one, baby. We're gonna love it. And Dave and I will continue it. I will be there. Your honor.

Please. People are gonna eat it up. Pay tribute. Honor him, honor him, yes. I'd love it if you did. Yeah. I want you to have me stuffed and put in the studio. Cool.

I mean, if we're being real, if I go, the podcast has to end. Okay, Michelle, please continue. We better edit that out. Yeah. Definitely. I don't know if Jess saying that on, cause on record I'll say it won't.

I think if I go, On record. I think if I go, the podcast has to end. Okay. If you go to Edinburgh. Yeah, if I go to Edinburgh. So we have to stop it every freaking year. Every August, we have to take August off.

Let's take the coldest, wettest month in Australia off. Fantastic. Great. Perfect. Yeah. Sorry, guys. Isn't that what you're doing, Jess? Yeah.

In 2013, we introduced a new doctor doctor but this is not the next doctor. So we meet John Hurt. Do you know John Hurt? Character actor again? Hurt Locker. Really good actor. Yeah, no I know John Hurt. That's what I call him. The John Locker. The John Locker. The Day of the Doctor is a special that aired in November 2013 as part of the 50th anniversary celebrations of Doctor Who. So David Tennant's in this, Matt Smith, it November 2013 as part of the 50th anniversary celebrations of Doctor Who. So David Tennant's in this, Matt Smith, it's called The Day of the Doctor, we meet the incarnation of the Doctor who blew up the Time Lords. And this is the war Doctor who was there in the war. Together with David Tennant's Doctor and Matt Smith's Doctor, he's able to rescue Gallifrey

and the Time Lords. So they undo the damage, hide it away in a little pocket of time so that it will not be destroyed, but they also can't find it. Billy Piper also comes back, but it's, she's kind of not Rose. It's just kind of, it's a good, it's a very good special, but it's too complex. And this is an overview. Okay. Yeah. So chill out. Yeah. No, I think it's good because you're leaving some things for us to enjoy for ourselves. Well, there's a lot for you to enjoy for yourselves guys. There's a lot. Because I think I'm going to watch this.

Do you? You actually? I think that you will like it, but I'll tell you specific episodes that you should watch. Okay. Because I think, I think Blink is a good episode. Like watch that episode. Start with that. Then you'll have seen the work of Carey Mulligan.

Then you'll finally find out who this Carey Mulligan character is. I can't watch anyone who's Michelle's friend. I just can't. Carey Mulligan isn't my friend. I don't know Carey Mulligan. Okay. Yeah. So you can watch her and it won't be cringe.

So you can't watch any MCU or you can't watch Jumanji anymore. No, no. I can't do my weekly watching of Jumanji anymore. Original or remake? The remake. Yeah, the two remakes. We were surprised at how good that was. I should be great. I love watching my friends work. We were surprised it had to be that one.

I should be great. I love watching my friends work. It's just that like... No, I was asking. I was a big... I was like a Whovian at the time and then I had to pretend I wasn't one. And so if I watch it again, I won't be able to look Karen in the eye and it will ruin everything if that makes sense.

Yeah. You know, it'll just ruin everything. Yeah. She's the kind of person... This is the vibe I'm getting. She's like a monster. And she's the kind of person if you say, I really liked watching you in something, she will like get just she'll just chop you off.

People always get mad at you. That's the thing. If you say, I liked your work, people hate you. They hit you. They fight you. They fight you on it. That's what I find. I normally kiss them. You just kiss. Yeah, yeah. But he's never what I find. I normally kiss them. You just kiss? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's never liked anything, Jess and I have been in, so that's why. We've just got to keep making stuff.

No, they've never said anything to me. They've never said, we liked what you're in. Yeah, we can't lie. You're smooching. We have our 12th doctor now after this, Peter Capaldi, again from the Pompeii episode. He would be a wolfhound if he was a dog. His doctor is a wolfhound. He's kind of more grumpy.

You did skip over Simon Baker. What would he be as a dog? Simon Baker? Simon Baker? The mentalist. The mentalist? Liam Baker? Colin?

Colin Baker? Tom Baker? Tom Baker. Oh, I didn't do the early doctors as dogs because I haven't spent enough time with them. Right. I can't, I can't assign a person a dog off watching a few episodes. I need to deep dive. Well, I'm going to say Tom Baker is a German Shepherd because they have a little thing around the neck and he wears a scarf. Oh yeah. Okay. What do they have around their neck? That's a little barrel of whiskey. Wouldn't you think that would be a cat? That's not German Shepherd, but yeah. Wouldn't you think that's a greyhound?

Supernards. Supernards. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you think it would be a greyhound? Greyhound. They're always wearing scarves. Oh, yeah. Because they get cold. They get cold. You're right. They're always wearing a hat too. Greyhounds. What kind of dogs are we?

Oh, okay. All right. This, okay. Putting it on the spot. So, you know, I think Matzah will found. Okay. Yeah. I think Matzah will found. I think Dave. I've hound. Okay, that's a wolf hound. I think Dave I think Dave, I think you might be a Boston Terrier. Oh my god, that's good. That is good Tall and more round You look up Boston Terrier. Frenchy adjacent. It's a Frenchy. Ah yeah, yeah. It's like a Frenchy but different. Tall.

And more rounded ears. Was Frenchy's... Not that one. Not that one though. Not that one I'm guessing. The number one. The number one. The number one.

The number one. The number one. Oh my God. Maybe this one. The first one needs help. More of that one. That's a beautiful dog. But smiling. They look a bit like Frenchies. That first one needs help. Yeah, more that one.

But smiling. They look a bit like Frenchies. Yeah. Very funny. I think Jess is... Beautiful blue eyes. Yeah, like Dave. I think Jess is a border collie.

Oh, thank you so much. Oh, that's a lovely one. Yeah, I think I love border collies. I love border collies. Is that Lassie? Yeah. Lassie border collie. Ish. What kind of dog am I? Do a little bit different.

I'm not as good at this as you are. You've really nailed all of those. Thanks. I appreciate that. I can keep doing the report and you can tell me if you think of it. Because I almost want to say, but I don't think this is an insult. I almost want to say poodle. No, that's so nice.

That's my whole life aspiration is to be a poodle. Yeah, okay, great. Because I think that is the sort of energy. I can see the poodle. That's so nice. Lassie's a rough collie. A rough collie. Yeah.

Rough collies are beautiful. They're the long-haired. Yeah, Lassie. Because rough collie. A rough collie, yeah. Rough collies are beautiful, they're the long head. Yeah, Lassie. Because poodles are smart. Thank you. But they're also like pretty and elegant. And breed with everything. They breed with everything, they're sluts. They are sluts.

In a good way. And that's why I'm a poodle. Thank you. Thank you for this. Oh man. I needed this. That was stressful. Yeah, but you landed well.

Thank God. You brought it, you stuck the landing. That means good, isn't it? Stuck is good. Yeah, stuck the landing. Yeah, yeah. You brought it. You stuck the landing. That means good, isn't it? Stuck is good. Yeah. Stuck the landing. Yeah, absolutely. You've done a great landing.

You want to stuck it. You want to- You don't want to- Stuff the landing. Fuck the landing. You don't want to stuff the landing. You want to stuff the landing. Oh no, I've stuffed the landing.

So what happened? Oh, pilot stuffed the landing. Yeah, landed on the roof. So we had to stop the podcast. Twelfth Doctor, Wolfhound, Peter Capaldi. He's like a fucking great actor. really, really good, very intellectual, very like moral dilemma doctor. It's a very dark season. This is like, you know, when Buffy gets to the end of Buffy, you guys all know Buffy.

I know Buffy. It's got a kind of vibe, but it's very dark and it's very like, he's with Clara Oswald again. She was in heaven and they brought her back. Tore her out of heaven. Tore her out. It's going to be dark. It's so tough. It's exactly the period, the time period I'm talking about.

When she was bad, she was bad. I think it's called. But the musical was so good as well. The musical was so good. And then she finally opens up and in song talks about how she felt betrayed because they took her out of heaven. Sometimes you can't speak, all you can do is sing. Great episode. One of the many great musicals I love.

And it had that bat from Doctor Who in it. Yeah. We also had a new companion, we meet Bill Potts, played by Pearl Mackie, who's really fun and also gay. The first lesbian companion, I think. Steven Moffat continued to show runner. Mark Gaddis. Sarah Dollard. We get some more, more fun writers.

There's a million, billion writers. I can't name them all. And we get a new master and the master is called Missy now. She's a girl and she is played by Michelle Gomez as we discussed before. Who you recognize from something. Yeah, Madame Rouge from the Doom Patrol. Ah, okay, cool. She's really good. They really well matched. It's really, really great. 13th Doctor, sorry, I know I'm speeding through them, but there's so much. It's okay. Because this is, because I do, having never really watched it, I do remember there being a lot of chat in the fandom or maybe

whatever about there being a rule that there's only 12 and they're like, how are they going to deal with this? We're actually getting close to running through that many now. So there was, so there's this theory, right? That the doctor, or not a theory, this is not a theory, this just happens in an episode where Clara, one of the companions, they go back to Gallifrey and they beg the Time Lords for an extra, for more regenerations because the doctor has spent all of this time, he kind of gets stuck and he has to defend Gallifrey or something and she's like, hey, he did all this hard work. He's going to die of old age because he's literally just been standing guard.

Hasn't he earned another regeneration? And they're they're like yes and so we get another doctor. Right and they're going to have to keep doing that every season now. No they don't have to because let me let me tell you they do not have to and I will explain. Oh a bit of sizzle. So 13th doctor 2017 to present Jodie Whittaker she'd be a golden retriever. She's very curious she's very fun She's not really as dark as the others She's just like let's go Yeah, I just wasn't sure she was a good actor I think she's an incredible actor that's what I was thinking actually now

She's a good actor. Yeah, or a great Door an incredible actor. Yeah, I thought she was better than good I think you're the first person I've ever had questioned her acting ability to be honest Yeah, or a great actor or an incredible actor. Yeah, I thought she was better than good. I think you're the first person I've ever had question her acting ability to be honest. I think she's quite well regarded. That's what I understand. Oh, yeah, no, and she's yeah, I you know, I just thought like that because I've only ever seen her play one character and that one character was a morning. A mum who's-

Who cries a bit. Yeah. Cries a bit. But just, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. You know, she was probably just nailing that sort of- Sad. Almost numb, wooden sort of-

Vibe? Vibe. Which, you know, if I see her in other things, I imagine she'll probably not be like that. I think she won awards for that. Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about. I certainly- Yeah. You're really backtracking on this.

Yeah, only because now I found out she's doing it. Quite credible. Quite fast. Yeah, because I only thought she was really good. For years, I hated Emily Blunt. Did you? Yeah, because of Devil Is Prada, I was like, she's a bitch. I hate her. And then she appeared in rom-coms and great movies. And she's very funny and seems quite nice. And I'm like, oh, you were just acting.

It's annoying. And it tricked me. They can And I'm like, oh, you were just acting. Yeah, it's annoying. And it tricked me. They can trick you. They can really trick you, those actors. I get you there. Yeah, sneaky, a lot of them. Very sneaky. Jodie Whittaker became the 13th Doctor,

making it the first time the Doctor was portrayed by a woman in theory. In theory. We also had Joanna Lumley. We also, we'll ruin this in a second. Her era has focused on sort of diverse storytelling, we're exploring new worlds companions where Graham O'Brien, who was the guy who was like from,

I don't know, it was like, let me find it. Let me find it. Graham O'Brien. Bradley Walsh. What was he from? What was his, what's his, what's the, oh, the Chase. Is that the Chase guy? He's from the Chase. He hosts the Chase, the UK version. Oh his what's the other chase that's a chase guy yeah he hosts the chase the UK version.

Oh yeah that's his it's the chase yeah. He's the one who cracks up in that other clip that always the you know the two clips always go around the inside the Van Gogh one and also the other one is Fanny Schmell. He's laughing at the Fanny Schmell. They're the two clips from the internet. Yeah those two clips but he's really fun um Ryan Sinclair. So he's on Doctor Who. He's on Doctor Who yeah he's a companion he's really fun. Ryan Sinclair. So he's on Doctor Who.

He's on Doctor Who, yeah. He's a companion. He's there. He met Rosa Parks. That's awesome. Yeah, he's really fun. He's known as the chase guy. Yeah.

Yeah. Ryan Sinclair played by Tosin Cole and Yasmin Khan, Mandy Gill, and Yasmin Khan and the Doctor have sort of a romance between them, which is fun. Chris Gimnell has taken over as showrunner with this tie at this time. And people complained a lot about this series, probably because she was a woman, which is very boring. They don't like change. Yeah, people don't like change.

But there is definitely, you know, this romance between the Doctor and Yasmin, which I think is fun. I think the Jodie's Doctor is really fun. She meets again Rosa Parks. She goes to the Salem witch trials and they meet Alan Cumming who plays King James. He's so good. The first, he's so good, he's so good. A lot of history gets rewritten in this episode

which is really fun. We get to see a new version of the doctor's youth and find out that maybe the Time Lords actually were not so great. So we meet another doctor that crosses over with this timeline. Her name is Joe Martin, played by Joe Martin, sorry. And she's called the fugitive doctor, which is I think the idea is she's the one who like ran away from Gallifrey at the time. She's a black woman. So this is like reintroducing another female doctor and another black doctor,

which is very exciting. Is this the doctor, every time you say a doctor, is this different time or this is all the same person just at different times? All the same person, but these two are crossing over in the same timeline. So they meet each other. The doctors have this thing where they can put their memories into a fob, what, like an old watch for safety if they need to forget who they are so much so they protect their identity and then they open the watch and they can come, they do it a couple of times and she's done that. Cool. Yeah, that's pretty cool. I'd love to do that.

Yeah, that'd be nice. Honestly. I love it because anything's possible. Just what's the episode we want to do? Yeah. Rosa Parks. Okay. Well, that means that- Yeah. yeah. How can we get the doctor involved in this? But imagine if you had that little watch that you could put all your memories in and you just do that at nighttime so that you can go to sleep without thinking about something embarrassing you did in year nine. Oh yeah, that'd be great. That'd be nice. And then in the morning you just open up the

thing. You remember it all. Oh God. Oh, you know what I do? Throw away the fob watch and just live a happy life. Some would argue that's what I've done because I don't remember anything. Yeah, that's true. We just eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Yeah. We just chop out every negative memory. Yeah, that'd be nice.

Yeah, beautiful. Anyway, this new doctor, she's like more 1960s. You can tell she's a previous version because she's grumpy like they used to be, a bit more stern and she's her TARDIS. The inside of it looks like the 1960s one because they change with every doctor. That's fun. They get a new update of the interior, which is really fun. The TARDIS just changes itself. It gets a bow tie. It gets a bow tie. TARDIS bow tie sales went through the roof. And we get a new master as well played by Sasha, Darwin, very unhinged, spoiled brat, which I love. He finds Gallifrey. So you know how we like hid it away, finds it, they go there.

And then there's this, there's a lot of hatred between him and the doctor. But we find out that actually the doctor is not just like a native Gallifrey. And the doctor was, they've called the doctor, the timeless child a few times in a few different episodes. They've said the timeless child just like randomly. Anyway, so we find out the meaning of that is this child that was like orphaned, this tiny little baby and this people in Gallifrey looked at the baby. The baby was like able to regenerate into different children and they just did all these experiments on this child and like made them regenerate, killed them, killed them over and over and over again, forced them to regenerate into different children. And they just did all these experiments on this child and like made them regenerate, killed them,

killed them over and over and over again, forced them to regenerate. And then like did experiments to try and find out how they were doing that and then stole it and injected themselves and then like passed it on down the generations of Time Lords. So it's actually a technology that's kind of stolen from the Doctor.

So the Doctor is the original. The Doctor is the original. Wow. Which is a big change of canon. There, that's huge. Are some people annoyed at that? Yeah, people get annoyed about everything. They're gonna like change generally.

You know, for the most part, it's fine. And after this season, Jodie regenerates, but she turns back into David Tennant. Oh. Wait, David Tennant's back? David Tennant comes back for three specials. Whoa. That's fun.

And he's like, I don't know why I'm back. I don't know what this is. And then he like finds himself on Earth and he meets Donna Noble again. But he's like, oh, my God, she can't see me. The Doctor Donna. He's like, she can't remember me. He runs into her and she's like, can you help me? Like, she's just like carrying a bunch of shit. She's like, bugger off.

Like, she's annoyed at him. She's got a daughter. She's got this daughter called Rose, which is very nice. Wait, is this the one about Charles Dickens? Because this is ringing a bell. No, Charles Dickens. Is it a Christmas thing? No. That is a Christmas thing.

They always have lots of Christmas. I might have seen two episodes. Because I watched them. You might have. Look at him. Prolific Watcher. Yeah, you know he's about this. This rings a bell. I didn't know.

I didn't know that why there was the older lady and the younger lady. I didn't realise the connection. I was all very confusing because she didn't remember him, but I didn't know why. Yeah. Or whatever. No, that's fair. It's confusing. I might also have not seen it. You might have just been making it up and that's fine. But Catherine Tate has this daughter, she's all grown up, she meets aliens in the backyard. She's also, she's a trans, the girl, she's a trans girl and she's like a teenager, so like some kids at her school bullied her, but she can kind of hold her own. She's a cool girl.

I think this is because like, I think David Tana might have come back for this because he has a trans kid and he's very like very outspoken ally for the trans community. So it's all very exciting. And then when when Donna died or was about to die, she was like glitching and she was like binary binary binary and then kind of like the they are able to save the world through the power of Rose being non binary because of the Dr. Donna being in her DNA and I guess the play on words. It's a little bit cringe, but it's also very, very sweet.

It's really nice. It feels very cringe. It's cringe. It's cringe, but it's like- Binary, binary. No, that happened ages ago. Was that planned at the time? What did they go- No, it wouldn't have been planned at the time, but they would have gone, oh. Non.

But yeah, because when Donna's like glitching out, she's like, to the power of non-binary, binary, binary. And then they're like, oh no, she's going to die. And then like, so like seasons and seasons later, it's quite clever, but it's like, oh's like glitching out, she's like, to the power of the binary, binary, binary. And then they're like, oh no, she's going to die. And then like, so like seasons and seasons later, it's quite clever, but it is also like, yeah, it's very well rounded and very nice, but it is very heartwarming. I loved it. I thought it was like very sweet.

It's a funny thing when things are so perfect, they come near that it's like- Yeah, people always go, oh. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, you can't help, even though it's so nice. Yeah, but it's funny. But I also, I was like, okay, but I also was crying. So, you know, it was very lovely. We meet a new villain called the Toymaker, played by Neil Patrick Harris.

Oh. He was really fun. I had forgotten he was in this. Yeah, he's got all these creepy games and a brand new Disney budget, which is very exciting. Disney's just bought BBC or whatever. Well Doctor Who's moved to Disney Plus. I don't know if you've noticed. That's moved away. But it's still, you know, very much rooted in the BBC.

Does it still air on the BBC, do you think, in the UK? Or do they don't get access to it anymore? Oh, I think it does. Let me check. I can ask the internet. That's sort of been sad. It was on the same thing for 60 years and everyone could watch it. Now it's like, sorry, you have to pay $19 a month now.

You've actually got to be a subscriber. And we're going to up the prices every few months. Yeah, no, I think it's together. Everyone's a winner, baby. Yeah, I think it's friends. That's nice. That's my understanding, but I don't know. Anyway, I don't look into the politics of things. I don't want to look at that. I only want it to be perfect.

I don't know. Anyway, I don't look into the politics of things. I don't want to look at that. I only want it to be perfect. But yeah, it's very nice. And he has a big ray gun. He shoots the doctor and the doctor by generates into both David Tennant still existing and and shitty Gatwa who's our new doctor. He's our sexy young 30 something again, we've got a young doctor. He is gorgeous, confident, really great. Yeah. And they are just so... Sorry, I'm so curious. So what, and is it just so David Tennant can come in for a few episodes of time?

I reckon yes. I reckon that's exactly what it's like. Yeah, what it's for. And David Tennant can also, like, in theory, like go hang out with the Dr. Donna now because she can live with it because of the power of Rose her daughter. And we see Rose a few times like Rose comes back she works starts working with the unit. Oh cool. Yeah so it's really fun. And then now we have Shuddy which is really exciting. It's like this we also have Jinx Monsoon as a villain in the new series. So you can start

from zero with this new series. Once you get to shooty, it's like, okay, clean slate. We'll explain it all, whatever you need. A new companion called Ruby Sunday. Who's that Jinx Bonsoon? Jinx Bonsoon is a drag queen. I was gonna say, that's like a James Bond name. It's awesome, so good.

Yeah, it's a really, really good name. You know what? James Bond names and drag names, similar vibe. so good. Yeah, it's a really, really good name. I mean, you know what? James Bond names and drag names, similar vibe. Very similar. Yeah, yeah. That's true. Dr. Pussy. Dr. Pussy.

Dr. Pussy. Great drag name. Goldfinger. Yep. Yep. Are these good drag names? I'm all about characters rather than movie names. On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

A lot of vagina. Ruby Sunday was the? Ruby Sunday is the new companion. That is a great companion name. Yeah, Ruby Sunday. Yeah, that's great too. Ruby Sunday was the Ruby Sunday is the new is the new companion. Yeah, Ruby Sunday. Ruby Sunday. She's played by Millie Gibson. She's fun. She also sings.

She's kind of cute. There's a musical episode with Jinx Monsoon plays the maestro is this kind of evil. It's very who framed Roger Rabbit this episode and it's a musical episode. They meet the Beatles, but the Beatles let they go back in time and all the music shit and the music's like the Beatles are there and they're recording like we're gonna watch the Beatles and the Beatles like oh I've got a dog and my dog's called Trevor like it's just real shit and they're like oh we have to save music it's very fun very fun very camp very camp there's an episode called Dot and Bubble which is my favorite episode which is about it's kind of

about like being online there's this community of like young people who live on a planet and they're always living in this bubble and you notice After a while you're like, oh everyone is white and it becomes sort of like, oh, okay I wonder if that's accidental or if it's just like a Thing it does seem very white and at the end of it the doctor saves the day and they want and and he can save Their lives and they won't come Come with the doctor because they're and he can save their lives and they won't come with the doctor because they're racist.

That's really interesting. Apparently that was Shooties and Shooties first day on set. Fuck. Shooting the scene where they say we can't come with you, we can't travel with you. We appreciate what you've done but it is your duty to look after us and like well we can't come with you and it's this really beautiful powerful scene and it's just nice to address it I think. Yeah, yeah.

Because of the people online and things like that. You think it's beautiful that a whole planet died? Yeah. A planet of racists, Matt. Oh, okay, yeah. Racist content creators, Matt. Okay, well, okay. It's fine.

We don't need them. Don't worry about them. And there's like a Bridgerton app where Ruby Sunday's like, oh my God, it's like Bridgerton. Like it's very much like that. The Doctor meets Jonathan Groff. Do you guys know Jonathan Groff? Music Unistar? Yes. Tiny winner. Yeah, tiny winner. And the Doctor and Jonathan have their Doctor's first romance. He's like a bounty hunter, very Captain Jack Harkness vibes. What a hot couple. It is such a hot couple and he like he leaves he like sacrifices himself but he's you know shot out somewhere in the world and his last

words are like find me and it's very sexy and it's like yeah he's gonna find you I'm really excited. It's really nice, it's really cute. So we have our first gay black doctor which is really exciting. How many we've had straight black doctors? Well I actually don't know yeah I think she has a husband. Oh. Yeah, I think she has a husband. Oh yeah, right. I think she had a husband. Oh, but that was, yeah, I don't know. That was the 60s though.

Could have been a beard. No, it wasn't. Could have been a beard. Is that my, isn't that right? Yeah, if you want, yeah. But yeah, there's a lot of celebs, lot of celebs. I just like people talking about beards. Yeah, I like it too.

You got a great beard, Dave. Thank you. But yeah, celebs, celeb appearances. We got Matt Lucas, Alan Cummings, Simon Pegg, Neil Patrick Harris, Jinx Monsoon, Kylie Minogue. She plays a maid on the Titanic, which is a spaceship version of the Titanic in Voyage of the Damned. Oh, that rules. Voyage of the Damned is a special that you could buy tickets to see at the cinema. It's like a Christmas special. And I entered a woman's day competition 26 times to win

tickets and I won 26 times. And the cinema was very empty. What do you mean? Do we have to let you know by the phone as well? Oh hello again. It was like a text. It was like a text. Yeah Um, for no one interested. It was like a text.

It was like a text. Yeah, I guess no one interested. I guess the crossover of Doctor Who and Women's Day is not that big. That's so great. And you got 26 tickets and I'm guessing 25 of your friends wanted to come. I brought four friends who have not seen Doctor Who. That is so cute. You have to call up and give 21 tickets back. I brought four friends who have not seen Doctor Who. That is so cute.

You have to call up and give 21 tickets back. Yeah, it's really funny. It was very fun to watch this half empty cinema. I was so excited and it was a real like, oh. Thank you. Anyway, I love the Doctor because listen, his whole power is like, he's very kind. They're very, yeah, they're very nice

They just help people that are use weapons I think it's been a big good influence on me and I think it's also met because I was so attracted to David Tennant's doctor I think it meant that I was never attracted to like mean spirited men or like men who weren't like good people I think that really helped You hate a bad boy. I hate a bad boy. You say, hey, park within the lines. Park within the lines. Get out of here. The lines are, I knock on the window, I say, g'day mate.

Lines are here for a reason. Yeah. You got a real problem with Dave, don't you? Yes, he's a bad boy. I know, I'm just a bad parker. Just can't get it in the line. I tried. This is eight attempts.

Anyway, this has been my report on Doctor Who and as Steven Spielberg allegedly once said, the world would be a poorer place without Doctor Who. Oh, that's nice. I think that's true. High praise. I've heard a lot of praise. Signior Spielberg himself, incredible. It does make me want to watch it as all of these sort of reports about a franchise like

this do. It's very silly. There's lots of silliness. All of these sort of reports about a franchise like this do. Yeah. It's very silly. There's lots of silliness. It's comforting to know I could pick it up, like, current, with this current season and give that a go. You can start from now. It's a nice fun tree and yeah.

Yeah, you can absolutely start from now. But I just, you just have to go in with a sense of whimsy and knowing that they know it's funny. Yeah, yeah. It's fun. It's silly. It's silly. I've got great memories of it because of growing up with that videotape that I just watched

over and over again, The Five Doctors. And then my high school girlfriend's family were into it and they used to have... She was a mop though. Every... No, this is pretty mop. This is more of a dustpan and broom. And her family would watch it every Sunday night and cook a curry and they called it Doctor Who Curry. That's beautiful. And we'd sit down in front of the TV and watch Doctor I love that. Watch Doctor Who. That's my friend Ben. Every week weekly. Yeah that's fucking adorable.

I was in on the UK tour, my friend Ben Crompton who was in Game of Thrones and Doctor Who and he had us over for drinks after my show. He came to the show, he was like come back see the house, see the kids. I know his kids and his wife. So I come and see everyone. We go in there. Their house is so beautiful. I was like just missing home. And they've got the most beautiful house. It's like kind of like the Weasley house, if you do know how it got up. It's very like lovely and just beautiful.

Lots of stuff. The kids one by one file into the kitchen and they're like, we're watching Doctor Who. And we're like, oh, great. So we go upstairs and they're talking about they play the record of Doctor Who. Ben's showing me stuff from his time on Doctor Who. It was just very like, but not in a way that's like, it just felt very like wholesome and lovely and family. And I was like, oh, I wish I had a TV show that my family and I loved.

It was really nice. It was exactly what I needed. Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, it was really sweet. I'm going to give it a go. I'm going to do it. It brings families together. It brings families together.

Everyone can watch it. Get into it. I like going to give it a go. I'm going to do it. It brings families together. It brings families together. Everyone can watch it. Get into it. I like it. Any episodes with monkeys? There'll be episodes with monkeys. Yeah, there are definitely episodes with monkeys. Let me have a think, but there'll be some monkey episodes for sure.

Sick. Yeah. There's one that there's like a rip in time in there in like a jungle. Okay. Yeah. I love jungles. Oh yeah. I love anything set in a jungle. Yeah, me too. I love it.

All those rock things where, yeah, I'm thinking of Jumanji basically. All those rock things. Yeah, yeah. Those kind of action comedy in a jungle. That's my favourite. Big fan. Have you seen the one where Sandra Bullock and I want to say Channing Tatum? No, I haven't.

It's good. Daniel Radcliffe is the bad guy. Yeah, it's fun. Daniel Radcliffe's a great bad guy. Yeah, very fun. Tony winner. Tony when you're Daniel Radcliffe. Jess is really into the Tonys.

You should do an episode on the Tonys. I don't know anything about the Tonys or musicals. You know two things about the Tonys. True. Just the name is funny enough to me. The Tonys. Yeah. We won a Tony.

And in the UK you can win a Dave. Dave's pretty good. What can I win a day? I've already got a day award Comedy Channel, right? Yeah, yeah sponsor by Dave. What did you say? What do you say? I've already got a Dave Thank you, and I'm padding him. That's quite a patronizing way. He likes it. Oh, thank you. What a fantastic Report love Michelle. I'm sure other people the people out there there will too, because they love the Fast and the Furious episode and Doctor Who has as many, if not more fans. It's beloved. It is beloved. People love it.

It is beloved. And throughout the generations too. It's got to be one of the longest running media franchises in history, right? Yeah. Yeah. It is. It's got to be up there. Yeah, it absolutely is.

I think people are going to be mad at me for not including as much, but there's only so much I can say. Exactly. No, I think, yeah, I think if this is- look, I learnt from the Riverdance episode that don't listen to episodes of this podcast about things that you are passionate about and know a lot about because it will hurt you. You can do your own. And things always get left out.

Yeah, of course. And they have an entire Doctor Who podcast where weekly they cover it. So there's thousands of hours. It's too much. It's too much, but you did a great overview, I thought. Thank you very kind. Yeah, for somebody like me who has felt intimidated by it or hasn't watched any of it, it's like

it feels like a nice little introduction that I'm like, okay, this doesn't seem so scary now. There's no scary. So Michelle, this part of the episode is where a lot of people skip to it. It's most people's favourite part of the episode. So I would actually plug your show and stuff again now. Now. The show and book.

For the general. Edimbring. Buy tickets to my Edimbring show. If you live in Edinburgh, you can get cheap tickets because if you put in your postcode apparently. But do please book ahead. It makes me feel normal and fine. And get my book, which is called My Brother's Actually Going to Get a Sandwich Bag.

Oh, we love that. What's the name of your show and what venue are you on that this year? Legacy is my show. It's on at Gilded Balloon, Patahoose, not TV-It. They don't have TV-It this year. It's being renovated. That's not my fault. It's not my choice. It's not your fault. I'm in Patahoose. There's nothing we can do about it. Beautiful. Check it out. Enjoy yourself.

So in this section, Michelle, we thank some of our great Patreon supporters. And if they want to get involved and you listeners go to patreon.com slash to go on pod. And you can sign up on a bunch of different levels of different things there. Like you get now four bonus episodes a month. We're now doing an episode where we are doing a D&D campaign with Adam Cannavale. He's a great Dungeon Dragon. as a great Dungeon Dragon. What a great Dungeon Dragon. And Master and he, yeah, so much fun. You get to vote on topics or these other things.

You get access to the kind of corner of the internet. Yeah, the Facebook group. Facebook group. Do we say vote on topics? Vote on topics, you get early access to tickets. You first know about them, you get discounted tickets to live shows, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It pays for itself sometimes. Oh my god, easy.

But the first thing we normally do in this section is the fact, quote or question section, which actually has a jingle go something like this. Fact, quote or question. Ding. He always remembers the ding. Huh. They always remembers the ding, huh? They always remember the sing. And that is actually inspired that melody by a widget, the world watcher, one of my

early crushes. Oh yeah. That's if you look at the character widget, you'll find that to be deeply erotic. Deeply erotic. Oh my God, that is a hot thing. That's a hot thing. Yeah, I mean. Look at this purple thing.

There he is as a, he's an octopus. Yeah, my god. He's a woolly mammoth at one point. He's everything. All right, so we get four people who write in each week on the Sydney Sheinberg level or above. Give us a fact, quote, a question or a braggart, a suggestion or really whatever they like. They also get to give themselves a title and I'll rate them out for the first time on the show.

That's just to excuse me for any sort of fumbles or whatever. The first one comes from Michael DeRizzi aka Fart Knocker. That's the title Michael's given themselves. Fartzi, aka Fart Knocker. That's the title Michael's given himself. Fart Knocker. Fart Knocker. Yeah. I guess that like a fart critic maybe. Oh yeah.

Okay. We'll find out maybe. Call that a fart? That's awesome. Anyway, got a confession. I said, Matt, please do your best Sam Peterson for this. Okay. What's my Sam Peterson? Crazy.

That'd be crazy. Oh, that's it. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely crazy. This next confession comes from Michael. Michael writes. Confession. Michael writes from the good people at reddit.com.

Michael writes, cast your minds back. No, I can't do it. To the fall of 1998. Cast your minds back. Cast your minds back. To the fall of 1998. Cast Your Minds Back. Cast Your Minds Back. To the fall of 1998. Big shout out to the great man Sam Pearson. We love you.

The movie Rush Hour was top of the box office. Sher had the best selling single with Believe. Believe. And I was at the top of the world in the fourth grade. I'd earned the nickname Fartknocker because I loved to fart. Oh. sure. At recess one day me and my friends were chasing girls and that's when

inspiration struck me. I wanted to live up to my nickname and fart on one of the girls. I had it all planned out. I would smack my butt and push out the fart. Sorry, is this a brag? It was a confession. I'm not sure. I think the tone is probably that Michael's not super proud of this. Okay, so hit the squeeze it out. Only something went wrong.

Very wrong. Oh no. This happened to me recently. I don't want to talk about it. Are you trying to fart on a girl? Yeah. When I pushed, yes, I farted, but something more came out. No. Something solid. What? You'll never guessed, but something more came out. No! Something solid.

What? You'll never guess it, but I shit my pants. Oh my God, what? I guessed it. I've never told anyone. Michael, I guessed. But I think they somehow knew. Because you shat on them.

He pooed on them. He actually didn't poo on a girl. He didn't poo on it, just pooed near a girl. And if you've been into a women's toilet, you've done that. I've never been into a women's toilet. That is a lawyer level defence. That is incredible. Who here can say they haven't shat next to someone in a cubicle?

What is the difference, I ask you? Michael, thank you so much for getting that off your chest. Thank you for being brave. And out of your house. I hope that feels better now that we all know that, Michael. And we forgive you. Yeah, are we allowed? I don't know. We've got the power to forgive like a priest or something. better now that we all know that Michael. And we forgive you. Yeah. Are we allowed?

I don't know. We've got the power to forgive like a priest or something. I think just do 12 Hail Marys. Yeah. Yeah, that should be enough. You were listening at that party. I was. Thank you so much, Michael.

The next one comes from Charity Rose. Another fantastic name. Charity Rose. No nickname needed. That's incredible. Charity Rose, OK, senior vice president of the Another fantastic name. Sounds like it could be a doctor's partner name. Yeah, no nickname needed. That's great.

Charity Rose, OK, senior vice president of the Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers Factory. Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers. And Charity's got a fact writing, hello Jess, Matt and Dave and Michelle. I don't think she said that. Don't include me. Don't put words in her mouth. You don't know what they wrote. Can you see it?

I'm looking on here. Oh, blip blip blip. Oh, yep. It says Anne Michelle. Okay. Thanks for bleep blopping over there. I'm excited to be writing my first fact quote or question in preparation for your fingers crossed upcoming USA tour.

Dave, maybe you can give an update after this. I thought I would fill you in on some very important laws in some of the states. Hope this helps. Also, I wanted to tell you that I currently live in Indiana, but I was born and raised in God's country. Ohio? Bloody hell. You're just traveling your life down the Golden Mile. All right, here's some interesting laws. In Arkansas, you can't honk your horn near a sandwich shop after 9pm. I think that's fair enough. Okay. Near a sandwich shop.

Specifically. Okay. Blat night Sanger. Yeah, I guess Subway's a sandwich. But they call different things, like they call burgers sandwiches. Yeah, there's a difference between a burger and a sandwich, but I don't know what it is because that's what we would call it all a burger. I think they call the patties the burgers, maybe?

Oh. Or something like that. OK. And then they have it in a sandwich. I don't know. I don't know. In California, it's illegal to whistle for a lost canary before 7am. Are you winding us up, charity?

Before 7am, but starting when? 7am tomorrow? Am I before 7am now? It's too late, yeah. Am I breaking the law of a whistle for my canary? Yeah, don't do that. It's not on. What a country.

It's not on. What a country. In Indiana, it's illegal to ride a horse above 10 miles per hour. I knew that. You got to have your speedo on your horse. Found that out the hard way. We clocked you at 12. It's hard to train a police horse to make that noise, but they do it.

In Louisiana, it's illegal to send a surprise pizza. I'd love a surprise pizza. Surprise pizza, pepperoni, and I'm gone. And I've gone. Oh guys, it's my birthday week. You want a surprise pizza? Yeah, we can do it. It's legal here. It's legal here. It is? Check. We haven't checked that. We haven't checked that. Please check. In New Jersey, it's unlawful to wear a bulletproof vest while committing a crime. Jersey, it's unlawful to wear a bulletproof vest while committing a crime. Take it off. But the crime isn't illegal.

But like, you're like, no, I don't have a bulletproof vest on. It's a legal crime. I'm allowed. Well, you were Jay Walken and now I've got you wearing a bulletproof vest at the same time. Two counts. Two charges. That's jail for life. Two charges.

Two strikes and you're gone. In Ohio, it's illegal to sell chickens that have been died I think that's just that's that makes sense. You can't chickens. I have died or been died. D Like a tie-dye, oh, that'd be cool. No, they have to be naturally tied a rainbow chicken in Rhode Island It's illegal to race a horse on a highway Okay. Yeah, that one. Yep. That makes sense In South Dakota, it's illegal to sleep in a cheese factory. You get cheese dreams. We can't trust you in there.

Oh, and in Dave's favorite state, Vermont. Yes. Finally. Don't tell me something about a creamy. You can't have sex with a creamy. It's illegal. Please don't tell me you can't have sex with a creamy. Let me have my dream.

Dave, when we eventually get to the US, do you want a moment alone with your creamy? Yes, I do. Can we all have enjoy creamy first before we do? Before you enjoy creamy alone? No, tell me. In Vermont, it's illegal for women to wear fake teeth without their husband's approval. Oh, wow. That is good.

Yeah, that one makes sense. That I agree with. Because your husband will be, he'll be truthful with you. He'll be honest. He'll say if you're pulling it off or not. And if they look terrible, don't go out on those. He'll say thank you. Thank you for being honest.

Thank you for being honest. But I appreciate the honesty. Yeah, great. Thanks so much, Charity Dave. Do you have an update on the USA? We're going to Europe instead. The USA- Did you just- oh god, this is off-pod talk, but I'll help you with your visa.

Will you? Yeah, I already... I told Jess I'd help. What? This is happening, honestly. You just need a really good touring company that can sort your visas. You don't need the visas you were trying to get. You don't need those. Maybe you can get us in touch with the... with a good touring company? I know the president and I can get you specials. The president of touring?

Yes. Whoa. You just need a swink and a smile. Thank you special. The president of touring? Yes. Whoa. You just need a swink and a smile. Thank you. We're really good at winking. Really good at winking. Are we leaving any of that on pod so that whoever answered Charity's question?

Yeah. Yeah, we can leave that on. Yeah. You haven't said anything you want. I steered it in a playful direction. OK. And it was fun. Thanks so much, Charity.

Next one comes from, haven't heard this name in a while, Kevin Ulysses-Pakrad. Oh. Okay. And it was fun. Thanks so much, Sharonie. Next one comes from, having heard this name in a while, Kevin Ulysses-Pakrad. Kevin! Kevin's back. Is that really your name? Yes. Great name, isn't it? We remember Kevin well because of that incredible name. Very jealous.

I'm sure he suggested a bunch of earlyish topics that we did, I reckon. Yeah, I reckon we used to shout out to Kevin a lot. Can I also shout out to all the Patreons who came to my UK tour? Please, yes. Thank you so much for coming. It was very lovely. At the last one. It was very, very kind.

Yeah, last one. And the ones who are about to come. And the future ones. Yeah. Very, very kind. I love seeing you. Oh yeah, what's your rule? We're normally trying to ask, what's your rule about?

Is it, are you comfortable with them coming up and chatting? Oh yeah, but I invite the audience up at the end of every show to come and chat. But I love it. I love it. Come take a photo. Give me a gift. I love it. Speaking of shout outs, I've just looked up how many people suggested Doctor Who and 52 have come

up. So a big shout out to all 52 of you. We appreciate you. You're not going to rip through them? It will take a minute. I didn't know that lots of people had like, recoiced today. That might be the most requested ever. Oh my God. If you had told me it was the most requested, I would have spent more time on this. No, no, no, because- I wouldn't have just written it down from my brain knowledge. It's probably come up 52 times because they've also mentioned it in the subject and they

might also have like links that say Doctor Who in it as well. True, but I will say, we'll give at least one chat out here because the most recent came on the 31st of May this year. And their suggestion is Doctor Who in brackets featuring Michelle Brazier. And that is Zach Pryor from Leeds. Thanks, Zach. He's the only person who suggests Michelle do it. So, we dedicated to you. Thank you, Zach. Appreciate that. Yes, I think I saw that.

I think you maybe tweeted us that or something. You did. He DM'd you. I think we met. And you said, yeah, make it happen. Or we chatted on the internet. Yeah. Or we chatted on the internet. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe we chatted on the internet. I think he came to Leeds and I think that I posted something of Cardiff that was a Whovian place.

And he was like, you're a Whovian? I was like, yes. And he was like, do the report. And I was like, I'll text Jess. And here we are. Here we are. Okay. So Kevin Packrad has got the title, Kevin Packrad, The Return.

Yes. And it's a quote writing, hello, how is it going podcast people? You may recognize my name as I was a Patreon supporter for many years, but I've not been around since 2020 being that I was a broke college student and the whole thing about a global pandemic making it very hard to do much of anything prevented me from doing much of anything, specifically making money. Fair enough. Fair enough. I think it's very funny that I was a patron for so long because I was in high school.

Aww. I don't know, I was just picturing, I don't know. Kev, how did you pull that off? Well done. Did that picture of high school blur. No. Well, he's not paying rent, is he? True.

True. Take me back, eh? All the pocket money's going straight to our Patreon. Appreciate that, Kev. It says, and what right does a high schooler have to make financial decisions like supporting a podcast? In America, I guess that's just an example of what a youngster can do. The USA.

Exercising their constitutional rights. They love freedom. Oh, yeah. I've got the hat open, as I said before before and I've just done a quick little search for Kevin Packrad. 85 suggestions and counting Kevin. Thank you so much. Incredible.

That's an incredible contribution. I also put my name as Kevin Ulysses Packrad which is funny because that's not my middle name. But I suppose- You're just doing history. It's a self-proclaimed nickname. I can't take it off now. Not my middle name. But I suppose- You're just doing history. Classical. It's a self-proclaimed nickname.

I can't take it off now. Anyway, it's, isn't it crazy that it's been four years since then? I graduated college in that time, not to brag. I have a degree in English literature. Isn't that weird? Congrats. I know so much about books and writing that it could probably fill multiple books if my shelves are anything to go off anyway. This is a brag but I've read the novel Ulysses by James

Joyce twice in that time. Twice? Having attempted to read it multiple times in high school. All the while though I've not stopped listening to the podcast. My life of the past four years has been filled with the sounds of your guys voices and I know a lot of people say this but I'm devoted to it at this point in a way which is different from most other things in my life and I would like to thank you for being there when whenever I needed someone to make me laugh and bring levity into my life. You've practically molded a part of my sense of humor and I'm eternally grateful for the sense of curiosity your podcast has imbued in my mind. Sorry for getting soppy for a second.

Guys! I'm crying too. And the long message but I picked a quote in the little section above so here is a quote from Twin Peaks, one of my favorite TV shows created by David Lynch, which I highlight, I recommend highly. The quote comes from special agent Dale Cooper named after DB Cooper, and I think they are very good words live by. This is the quote, every day, once a day, give yourself a present. That's so nice. This is so nice you guys. What a lovely message.

You're his Doctor Who. Kevin, thank you. It's so nice to have you back, Kevin. Not that you ever left, but you know what I mean. Welcome. Welcome home, Kevin. Welcome home, Kevin. Welcome home, Kevin.

Yeah, Kevin suggested the topic just this week. Awesome. Well, yeah, you don't have to be a Patreon to suggest the topic. Oh, that was last year. Sorry. 2023. This week, last year. Wow. Kevin, go this week. Happy one week anniversary for suggesting that topic that time. The last Fact Board question for this week comes from James Edwards.

Oh, you want James? And I know this is going to sound bad, but James has a great laugh and it probably sounds weird that I know how listeners laugh. But it's only because he had a particularly big good laugh. OK, that's good. I think he should he'd be a real boon for your show. Yeah, send him in want James in the audience. James writes, cool, this is James' title, cool gay uncle of the pod.

Yes, I will take you shopping after brunch. Yes! Thank you cool gay uncle. Everyone needs one. And James got a question writing, I'm a big purple genie. You each have three wishes, but you can't wish for more wishes because that would be dumb what will you wish for i'll respond in a future fat quarter question to tell you the impact of the wishes you make love you all hope life is treating you well oh wow three wishes

dave is it to marry david ciché's daughter can you just wish for all your dreams to come true and then that would be encapsulated? Oh yeah. All your dreams come true. Or are you going to wish for kisses from Matt and I? Cool, one kiss from each of you. If you do all your dreams to come true, then like what kind of dreams have you had before that you wouldn't like to come true?

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, that's true. I think James is going to monkey, monkey porous. Yes, I think so too. All right, I'm going to go, I'm going to go for ones that can't go wrong. World peace. Yeah. Oh, fantastic.

Good one. Overpopulation. Endless, everyone to be happy. And the Sansun Apprenticeship. He said wish is not a miracle. That's right. I want to be, my first wish would be I would like to be able to sing. My, I don't know, my first wish would be, I would like to be able to sing. My, I don't know what my second wish would be.

I reckon, you know, but my third wish, do you ever see those hypothetical things of like, you could pick one and they give you like five, you can pick two and they give you five options. And one of them is often like free flights forever. So maybe it would be that. Cause I, maybe it would be that. Free flights forever. Maybe it would be nice to be able to like teleport, sure, but sometimes I like the process of the travel. You gotta be specific though, I reckon.

What kind of- Business class. Safe. But it'll be like, we have free flights forever, no worries, we've got the catapult waiting for you. And it's like, that's how you have to travel. Free business class on a real plane. He's gonna make you grow bug wings. Yeah. And like, yeah, you can- Be stuck in a business suit. a real plane. He's going to make you grow bug wings. Yeah. And like, yeah.

You can be stuck in a business suit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, I don't know what my third one would be. What would it be? You can keep thinking. I'll keep thinking. Dave, you think of one. OK, I'd like to be able to teleport anywhere in the world with anyone I want.

Yeah, that's great. And take them with me. Yeah. And we don't have to be naked. We don't have to be... We don't get hurt or anything when we land. OK, James? Specific, wasn't it?

That's specific. We don't have to be naked. But it helps. But if we choose to be, so be it. And if I could have one more turkey on Rye. The Simpsons. This is dry. The monkey poor.

I've seen the Simpsons. And then he ended up eating a sandwich. How about this? How about this? I'd love to have a card. I'd love to have a card that whatever bakery I go to, they have to give me a free pie. Oh, that would save you a lot of money. But the business doesn't get affected by it, like the government or something. It's subsidised.

It's subsidised by the government. And I would like to be six foot nine. Jesus, that's too tall. What are you thinking? Too tall. Too tall. No offense to our long listeners out there. That is an inconvenient height for travel, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you're in business class with me. But you're not in business class. Yeah, you're off teleport. You don't need to travel. Yeah, I don't need to get scrunched up over. I'll unscrunch every... Never got a scrunch. Michelle, do're off teleport. You don't need to travel. Yeah, I don't need to get scrunched up over. Mmm. I'll unscrunch the berry.

Michelle, do you have any wishes that you would go for? Well, Tim asked me a hypothetical the other night. He said, would you rather that cats, like cats outnumber dogs eight to one, or all dogs are the same size as a Shetland pony? And I said, I would love all dogs to be the same size as a Shetland pony. That's easy. And he said, do you know how big a Shetland pony is? I said, I would love all dogs to be the same size as a Shetland Pony. That's easy.

And he said, do you know how big a Shetland Pony is? I said, no, but I think that's my first wish. All dogs are Shetland Pony size. Shetland Pony size. That was meant to be like a, would you rather be like, I really like one of these options. I was like, it's clear to me. So you know, you've offered me shit and chocolate. You know my dog very well.

Yeah. Imagine giant goose. I mean, he already can basically bowl you over. Yeah. You would like him to be chocolate. Yeah. You know my dog very well. Yeah. Imagine giant goose. I mean, he already can basically bowl you over. Yeah. You would like him to be bigger. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. It's all dogs. It's all dogs. You're looking up how much Shetland ponies weigh. No, I just, I just, I'm at a big dog. They're very long. So sausage dog is as long as a Shetland pony. Yeah. It's like a snake. It's like a python. You might need more legs. We can work on the design.

It's a millipede. Yeah, a millipede. That's what I want. I don't know if I can tell, but it was like, so have you met this dog before? It's a bit of a comedy going dog. Yeah, that's Rupert. Yeah, Rupert. He's a Great Dane.

That's not a Shetland pony. That's a Great Dane. That's close. Great Dane's a fucking huge. Yeah, a big. It's head's like twice as big. Okay. I've puppy sat Rupert before.

I've had him in my house. What a beautiful dog. Which is just a normal human sized house. Oh my gosh. I've just thought of one. Can I take back the hot one? Yeah. Yeah.

I would like- Because it's insane. You take me to the hot one and I'd like Humphrey, our dog, to live as long as we do. I was thinking that too. I would like for my dog to live as long as me, but also be healthy the whole time. Oh, can I put that in James? I wrote that in too.

Yeah, it's, I don't want to be like, too much aging for 70 years, unless like decrepit and the dog's like, please put me home. Kill me. Yeah, I want Goose to be like this for my whole life. Also in brackets, the dog can be euthanized if we need it. It's not like, you know, you take it to the vet, they're like, sorry,

this dog is invincible and it's suffering. Yeah, no, you don't want that. Well, why don't you just say it doesn't get sick? Yeah, it doesn't get sick. It doesn't get sick, but I can still euthanize if I need to. It really can be. So that didn't sound like you're like, because I might be get a job overseas. Yeah, well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I can teleport. But I want to change my business class one to like Goose can come on business class. Goose can come on business class.

Because if I've got Goose forever, I would like him to see me. I'm not sure if you've kept under the three wishes. No, I think Jess could have, I would like business class tickets for me and my family, including your dog. I imagine Goose at the Eiffel Tower. Put him in a little boy. He's French. He's French.

He is French. Bonjour. Bonjour. Do you have two more? little boy, he's French. He's French, he is French. Bonjour. Bonjour. You got two more wishes. I think so, you got big dogs. Big dogs, all dogs big. You said Eva lives forever.

Eva lives forever and she's healthy. Oh no, don't say forever. And happy. With me, as long as me. Otherwise, she's the last animal on earth. Not forever. When everything's gone to shit. But what if you go before Tim?

Can Tim still have it? She goes when the last of you goes. Eva goes with the last of us. Yes. Perfect. I think that's good. Can I ask you, you know how you have named your dogs Bruce and Eva? Is that after the Saints fan, Bruce Eva? If you want.

Yeah, if that's what you want. That'll make you feel good. I didn't name either of my dogs. Oh, okay. Bruce was a rescue and Eva was a failed guide dog. So they came with names. There was just fate that they named after this guy. There was just fate and what a twist of fate.

What are the odds? Bruce Eva. That Bruce Eva. Sports journalist Bruce Eva. That's your two dogs mushed together. That is my two dogs mushed together. Okay, my third wish is for my two dogs to be mushed together into a space. No, that's not true. That's your two dogs mushed together. That is my two dogs mushed together. Okay. My third wish is for my two dogs to be mushed together into a space.

No, that's not true. That's bad. That's not true. I take it back. My third wish is to be, is to always have enough money to solve my problems, but not so much that I start creating problems for other people. Oh my God. That's beautiful. What a beautiful amount.

James could fuck you with that. How? I don't know. Give you, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I think you might have. Well, it'd be interesting to find out. Yeah.

See you at my Edinburgh Friends show, James. Yeah. You better get on a plane. Yeah, bring that big laugh with you. Yeah. You know what I think would be nice is like, because I'd still like to work and, and, and do stuff, but it would be nice to just have like, for some reason I want to say 10 grand

a month just is in my bank account, just appears at 10. So I'm sure that's still a hundred. That's what rich people have. They get that on interest. They just make that. They're just making that all the time. I've just got, you should go. I think you should get a hundred grand every month.

No, that's too much money. I think you should get 50 grand every month. Jess is causing problems. You gotta think about inflation in every month. No, that's too much money I think you should get 50 grand In the future, yeah, I'll save it. I'm still working and doing stuff. Can you say index? When I got a new July suitcase you went to July you bought everything they have you will not save it You like treats and so do I as long as I close down all the July stores My problem is my friend just doesn't have enough money, then I have enough money to save it.

July. July. It's a great luggage brand. Oh, so Michelle was buying something and you went along and then you ended up spending all your money too. Of course. Of course. We like nice things, Dave.

We like nice things. Is that a crime? I was actually hashtag gifted. Yeah. Hashtag. I had to hashtag was actually hashtag gifted. Yeah. Hashtag. I had to hashtag buy it. Thanks to James. Hashtag full bro. Hashtag full bro.

Thanks to James, Kevin, Charity and Michael for those questions. We still have a couple more things to do. One of them is saying a few of our other great Patreon supporters. Jess only comes up with a bit of a game based on the topic. And maybe we can get Michelle to give them something. Yeah. A song. A song about...

Do you want to link it at all to Doctor Who or? Yeah. I'll sing their name in the tune of the Doctor Who theme. Okay. I don't think we can top that. No, I don't think so. We can use your talents. I'm ready for that.

All right. Well, if I can kick us off, I'd love to thank from Box Hill here in Melbourne, Paris Turner. Paris Turner. I do the whole thing. That's a better... Thank you so much, Paris Turner. Great guys, only eight more of these to do. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum We're so much power is down.

Great guys, only 8 more of these to do. from address unknown can only assume from deep within the fortress of the moles of the moles. I would love to thank Edie Brondine. What about as an alternative, if you want to mix up a bit, you could also say their name in the style of a dialect, exterminate. Um, no. I want to hear your impressions. All right. And finally for me from Chattanooga. Chattanooga choo choo.

From? Barnaby Joy. From Tennessee in the United States. It's Joseph Nataro. Jodanuga choo choo from Barnaby Joyce. From Tennessee in the United States, it's Joseph Nataro. Joseph Nataro. Joseph Nataro. Were you, were you one of the, were you on Maddysell for that? I was, yeah, part of, yeah. One of the very funny joke.

Whenever Sean McAleff said Barnaby Joyce, it would cut to a black and white footage of me, Christie and Emily singing, is that the Tattanooga doo-doo? Because they say in the song it's pardon me boys. I didn't get it for so long. I didn't think I got until, I thought it was just funny. I think because you were confused by it, I messaged Michelle and she explained it to us. I thought it was just like a, you know, a non-secret to sort of thing. That's funny. But it's, um,

sounds like part of me boys. May I thank some people as well? I'd love it if you did. Can I please thank. Thank you. Farnham in Surrey. Like John. Wonder Melon Rich. Wonder Melon Rich. Also for me from Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles, AKA Address Unknown, I would like to welcome in or thank Susan Carson.

Susan Carson! I'm going to move through the melody now. Oh yeah, nice. Okay. And finally from Knoxville, Tennessee. Home of the Wicksphere. Please thank Dean Bruce and Lou. Dean Bruce and Lou. Dean Bruce and Lou.

That was good. So I'm going to edit it all together. I don't think someone could do that. I don't know. How would they do that? How could they possibly do that? That doesn't make sense. I don't know.

I don't think I've said in the same key. They'll be able to pitch it up. Finally, we'd like to thank three more people. From me, I'd like to thank from Madison, Wisconsin. Big shout out to Robert Gosselin. They'll be able to pitch it up. Finally, we'd like to thank three more people from me. I'd like to thank from Madison, Wisconsin. Big shout out to Robert Gosselin. Robert Gosselin. Woo.

You guys have to do the woo. It's a recalling response. Yeah. I'd like to thank also from Hayesville, North Carolina. A big thank you to Keith Dennebim or Dennebime. Keith Dennebim or Dennebime. Thanks Keith.

And finally from Sacramento in California, big shout out to all in capitals, ECW. ECW. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. us really easy. Yeah. Wouldn't that be crazy? Let me help you. Michelle comes in and goes, Oh yeah, I just sent an email. Oh yeah, you're in.

What? That would be amazing. We started trying in 2019. It's very annoying. It's very annoying. Where have you been, Michelle? You could have solved our problems. Thank you so much to ACW, Keith, Robert, Dean, Lou, Susan, Wanda, Joseph, Eddie.

Edie in Paris. Sorry, Edie. I thought it said Edel. Matt literally did like a manual zoom on my computer. He like put his eyes up to the screen. Like your eyelids sort of touched the screen. Enhance. That leaves us just with one last thing to do Michelle, which is the Triptage Club. Jess explains it so well what the Triptage Club is.

Thank you. Triptage Club is for people who have supported us on this shout out level or above for three consecutive years. It's a bit like a cool members only club or an airport lounge in my mind. It's very cool. It has everything you could possibly want. Dave books a band. I'm behind the bar. Matt's essentially the bouncer, but like in a cool way. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like not in like, he's not a dick about it. He's actually very nice. I've got a Doctor Who sort of thing. I don't use weapons. That's right. That's cool.

But I will shiv you with my screwdriver. Absolutely. If needed. Unless you're a wooden door, then it will not work on you. Will not work. And yeah, Dave, you normally book a band. Yeah, you guys are never going to believe this. Obviously I've booked these bands.

Ages in advance. Sometimes years in advance because of people's schedules. But thankfully they're dropping by. They found time in the schedule. We were talking about Doctor Who, of course, on this episode. But you'll never believe. Dropping by on this episode of the Triptych Club. Yes.

Spin Doctors. Wow. Can Club. Yes. Spin Doctors. Whoa. Can you believe it? Spin Doctors. Can't believe it. What a chances. That's crazy. Low.

Wow. The chances are low. Who did the, who did the, had a hit with the Doctor Who remix years ago? Oh, it's something, something in the TARDIS. Yeah, maybe. Doctoring the TARDIS, is that what it's called? And it's basically... It's just like a...

Na na na na na na na. Hey, something like that. Oh, Gary Glitter. It's Gary Glitter. Oh, mate. Oh no, you're thinking about just something different. I'm talking about... Doctor who?

Hey, the TARDIS. Doctor who? Doctor who? And that's good. That's Doctoring the TARDIS by the Justified Ancients of Mumu. And they will be supporting KiddieMalady. Whoa! Just received KiddieMalady.

They will be opening for Spinbox Doctors tonight. Wow. So you get to hear a Doctrine the Hardest and two princes in one night. What are the chances? That's amazing. This is exciting. So we've got four inductees this week. Oh, Jess is also behind the bar, normally whipping up a cocktail.

Yeah, I've made screwdrivers the cocktail. Yeah, great. But also I made like, I've been getting really into like those shows where it's like, is it real or is it cake? So I've actually made, I had a screwdriver as like a model and I've made cake versions of it, but it's actually too realistic and I can't tell which one is the actual screwdriver. So I would just say like they should taste really good and obviously look really beautiful, but I just, I would take that first bite with a bit of caution.

Just check. Okay. That's clever. Just in case. All right. Now how do we do this? I'm on the door. I'm going to read out the names.

Have you ever listened to an episode this deep before, Michelle? I've been here for this before. Okay. And you had to. I wasn't allowed out. So, I'll read out the name. Dave hypes them up. Maybe Michelle can be the hype person tonight. Okay. I mean, we'd have two hype people.

Yeah. I'd love that. The more support I can get, the better. Well, maybe Michelle could even MC. Oh, yeah, great. If you're up for it, please. Do you want to help up these four people as they come into the triptych club? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Dave, do you want to be on the door for a time? I might have the night off.

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I'll be on. So usually, Michelle, what is the... Matt reads out the name and then I do a very clever play on their name or a bit of a pun or something. But also pumping them up at the same time. Oh, that'd be easy for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pun. Now, Matt, I totally support you having the known off, but I do actually see you walking towards the air hockey table. And I just want to remind you again that the air hockey table is mine. Yes. And you keep putting ice all over it because you think it's ice hockey. Is it? Ice?

Yeah, it's ice. It's air hockey. Ice and air don't mix. Basically, let's not argue about air and ice hockey again. I'm confused. Just don't go near the table you can play pool you can do anything else leave the air I've literally put tape around it yeah which has worked really well that keeps the art like the water and nice is for free sorry why does it have a freezing setting? It doesn't! Sorry, Michelle. Sorry you had to say that. He keeps touching my air hockey table.

Anyway, so Dave will read out some names. You hype them up, I'll hype you up. Yeah, you can play on where they come from or their name. Just go with whatever. We've got about four people, so it's not... Okay, would you please welcome into the Triptych Club? We love them, you know them. Hey, you're not hyping. You're just reading names.

Oh, sorry. Um, I think that he could do a better job. Oh, I fully agree. Just showing you how it should be done. All the way from Kate, Cape-netic in Maine. Please welcome Kate Gardocki. Kate Gardocki, the magnetic from Cape Tadic. Woo!

Behind us. Woo! God us! Woo! God, that was good. Incredible. Yeah, I love it. So they're from Tetic? I love that. Yeah.

If you want. I would like to thank also from Wallenberg in Canada. Wallisberg. Sorry, Wallisberg in... You need to enhance. I'm going to zoom in manually. From Wallisberg in Canada, I would like to thank, one word is all we need, Rebecca! Ah, Rebecca, I hardly know her!

Give it up! We hardly know her! I would like to thank from Staten Island in New York, big shout out and thank you. And go on in, Michael Driscoll. Give it up for Michael Driscoll. He is not here to take the piss call. Woo! Woo! Fantastic!

Yes! Love it. Michelle is good at this. Yeah, really good. I'm loving it. Dave's doing a great job too, actually. Yeah, we're all doing our jobs well here. Matt's not doing anything.

Exactly. And finally- Matt's doing his job too actually. Yeah, we're all doing our jobs well here. Matt's not doing anything. Exactly. Correct. Matt's doing his job very well. We would like to thank, from Pasco Vale South, right here in Victoria, please go on in and enjoy the musical songs of Spin Doctors. It's Alex Pretty. Get in here, Alex Pretty, the most pretty, more like Alex Gorgeous. When Alex Pretty came up, I'm like, oh my God, there's nothing to work with here.

How's she going to do it? How do you do it? Well, thank you again to Alex, Michael, Rebecca and Kate. Go on in, stay away from the air hockey table, but enjoy the music and have a great night. The air hockey table is for anyone. No one owns the air hockey table. Jess bought it. she purchased it. Exactly, that's her own money, okay?

That's the only thing, is that she does own it. If you want to play. Well, I mean, that's the only, oh, okay, the only thing is she owns it. But all I'm saying is none of us own it, no one owns it. And I can see how you're holding two truths to be true, but in this case, only one of them. And the difference is, I'm not saying you can't play,

but I'm asking you to stop destroying it with us. That's the only thing. That's all I'm asking. I think you're getting confused. I think I'm just getting back to its natural state. OK, we're just let's take this off pod. OK, because I can't I just can't fight with them anymore. Well, that's the end of the episode, Michelle.

But before we go one more time, thank you so much, first of all, and people can see you in Edinburgh in August. In Edinburgh in August. As part of the French Festival. I think, I think it's now. Oh, my gosh, it's happening. It's coming down. It's now. It's probably happening right now.

Go and see Michelle every single night. Every night, come every night. Please do that. And then also pre-order the book or ask a book retailer to order it in. Please do. Or at least tell them you want it, because then they'll be like, yeah, this is great. And then they'll end up ordering one million copies. Yeah, that's what I want.

To get pulped. That's the best thing. Don't pulp them. Don't pulp me. Don't pulp them. I wrote them not for pulping. Come on. Come on.

And if you want to order the book, can they go to your website? Will there be a link there? If you go to my website, my Instagram, there's a series of, you can order to your hearts content. You can, you can be like, I want the ebook. There will be an audio book. Will you be reading it? Yes, I've already done it. I've recorded it.

I was going to say, I could do it. Oh, I'll redo it. Your personal story. I've heard it. I should do it. No, that's awesome. I can't wait'll do it. I'll do another version. I've heard it. I should do it. No, that's awesome. I can't wait to hear it. Yeah, but you can buy it from readings,

DIMX, like Amazon, if you're in Amazon, if you want the cat, what is it? The Not Book Kindle? Kindle, yeah. You can do whatever you want. The Not Book. I love it. You know, the Not Book, that famous movie.

Yeah. So sad. Yeah, I love Brian Gosling. Yeah. I wrote you every day gossling. Oh, yeah. I wrote you every day for a year on a Kindle. It's a good team. Turn us on to the notebook. To the notebook.

Well, now the punk king has struck it last. We'll wrap it up for another week on Do Go On. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week. We'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week. We'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, also, thank you so much for listening and good bye.